Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S7 EP14: Jessica Fostekew

Episode Date: September 8, 2023

 Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian - Jessica Fostekew. You can follow Jessica here; Instagram: @jessicafostekew Twitter: @jessicafostekew And keep an eye out for her new tour later this year and any other updates HERE! Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue.york you. to the on-the-go cop. This episode is brought to you by Nisprasso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup. Make every morning unforgettable with Nispresso. Discover a world of

possibilities with or without milk. Visit Nispresso.C.A. to their to learn more or a Nespresso boutique near you. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed. The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government.

Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello you're listening to Parents in Hell with Rob Beckett. They say Josh Widdickham. That was efficient Josh. Yeah, bang. I was expecting more, but he got the job done. And a more in quantity not quality. Yeah, oh yeah it was exactly the amount of quality I was looking more, but he got the job done. And more in quantity, not quality. Yeah, oh yeah, it was exactly the amount of quality I was looking for. Here's Jack.

Jack is 23 months old, his dad is 399 months old. Oh, a big exciting, 400 coming up. He's obsessed with all things vehicles and makes us laugh with his saying such as Ambienance for Ambuds and Sharon for Orange. We have no idea why. The podcast is so good it makes me regularly cry with laughter on my commute to thank Sarah. Age 399. Oh, they're the same month old. Isn't that lovely?

Dad and the mom are both 399 months old. Their parents had sex in the same month. That's a weird way to look at it. It is. Yeah, the same month in year, probably day. Quite a sexy day that, Josh. Josh, I'm at my limit of people posting pictures of their kids going to school on Instagram.

Yeah. It's Friday. Kids went back to school this week, some Wednesday wankers, went back on Wednesday. I just don't want to see children by a front door anymore. No. I just don't give a fuck about your kid kind of school, Josh. And I certainly don't want to see what they look like.

Who's pushed you over the edge? Well, no, it's just constant. I think it's more, to be honest. I've calmed down now the week, the week, the week, the week, the week, the week, the week, th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tho, I tho, tho, thi thi. I tho, thi. I just thi. I just the thi thi the thu the thu thu thu thu thu thu thi to to to to to to to thi to thi to Wednesday. Yeah, yeah. That's been my main problem. That's a kick in the Jaffers big stuff. I knew he's gonna say Jaffers. That's coming your new one, isn't it? I like a kick-in-Jaffers. I'll tell you something. I'll tell you something. I'll tell you that for free. That was a right kick in the Jaffers. Oh, here's something. Gives me some some jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj, that. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's that's a the the the the the the th. th. the the the the thr. the the the thr- thr- thr-a. tho. thr-a. thr- thr-in. yes, of course, the Rice Krispies. The Rice Krispies, you remember, obviously? Yeah. Oh, for crying out loud. That's another one of yours.

You're like Woody from Toy Story. You should just get a string in your back. And I could just pull it when I need one of those lines. There's a snake in my boot. So I've put Rose's a snake's a snake's a snake's a snake's a snake's a snake's a snake's a snake's a snake's a snake. thine a snake. thine thine thine thine th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus. th. th. th. to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. C. C. C. C So she bought some blueberries and strawberries and mushrooms. So I've put Rose's sunglasses in there for scale. For perspective. Yep, that is a lot. I'd say too many blueberries.

Do you want to know how many strawberries it is? That must have been about 15 quids. Yeah, 66 strawberries, Rob. My girls would smash them though, but that's the size strawberries we buy. 66, is it? Yeah. And how long does that last you? A couple of days? Fuck off.

They will hammer through that. What's going on in your house? They must be shitting like nothing. They do. They're very regular. It's good for you, aren't. I don't understand. I th. Are they good ones or bad sugars? They're good for not. I don't understand fruit. I just think fruit's good for you, isn't it?

Come on. Give us something. Give us a fucking break. Let fruit be good for you. In a world where fruit's not good. Yeah, what we're doing anymore if you can't have fruit? I agree. No one's ever had a heart attacks.

They've eaten too many bananas. I probably have let me Google they probably have don't don't write in don't write in. Trigger walled into anyone who's a yeah sorry lost someone for a banana. I used to work with a man in Waterstone's Rob he was afraid of bananas. Why makes like that he's like literally terrified make him feel sick. Yeah he has to and so if anyone in the in the staff roommate a banana he'd have to leave. Oh well Josh is this this the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to too. to too. too. I too. I was. I's to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. Yeah. to be. to be. Yeah. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. try. tr. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. tr. I. I'm. I'm. tr. I. I. tr. I. I. to. tr. I. tr have to leave. Oh well Josh is this and you couldn't have been more wrong about bananas. This study analyzed 25,000 older British people, those who regularly ate potassium rich food like bananas, were 13% less likely to end up having a heart attack or stroke, but 43% more likely to have a very funny fall.

Ha ha ha ha! Really nice. I added the end up. But yeah, stroke, but 43% more likely to have a very funny fall. Really nice. I added the end bit. But yeah, actually potassium is good for you there. Get it up you. There's go, munch on. Munch on, munch on. Get you munch on.

Get you munch on. I've had a carrot munches. I'm not a banana munching. What's your top three fruits, Rob. And tho, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, thi, the the the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, the, the, the, the, the, the. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. tho, tho, that, that, actually, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the we'll bring our guest on? Oh, question, question, question. Okay, here we go. Let's talk to me here. Mango's up there. Yeah. Pineapple. But it all depends. He's keeping it tropical. He's keeping it tropical. It's like lilt my belly. I'd say, but then you got, it's a pink lady apples absolutely sensational, it's cold. I love a watermelon, very refreshing. It depends on the weather as well, but I'd say watermelon, mango and pineapple, they're my top three really. Really? Oh, a good strawberry, but strawberries can just be a bit

tasteless. I've got to say, even in your fruit tastes, you know, even in your likes to holiday even in your even in your fruit taste you imagine I adore la vaccchion you're imagining yourself on a on a lilala in a swoo pool eating your mango your pineapple I don't like eating fruit in the cold no fair enough fruit in the cold horrible you're gonna say this is absolutely classic Whitacum oh but it's gonna be a horrible bramny smi tha thank you very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the cold. the cold. the cold. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I the they. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the it's going to be a horrible Bramley apple, something like that. A green cook, Granny Smith, thank you very much. Oh, you dirty, dry sandpalfa, tongue, plim of prick. Horrible.

Now, so, when you eat Granny Smith? Anything called Granny Smith? Of course you like Granny Smith? Of course you like Granny Smith. thii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. Ganny, th. Ganny, th. Ganny, th. Ganny, th. Ganny, th. Ganny, th. Ganny, th. Ganny, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank thi. Thank thi. Thank thi. Thank tha. Thank you tha. Thank you, tha. Granna. Granna. Granna. Granna. Granna. Grannny, tha. Granna. Granny, tha. Granny, tha. Thank you, the apple. So mouth itchy. Okay, Gravy Smith. What else is up there? Granny Smith, I love a strawberry. Don't get me wrong. The strawberry for me is hovering around third or fourth. It's in the Champions League for me, the strawberry. But I've had too many underpass strawberries recently, and it's annoying me. But if you get a good one and you don't want cold strawberries, you need them them to to to And then I'm going to go grapefruit. Love a grapefruit. Are you okay? That's not even a fruit.

I don't even cast that as fruit. It's like battery acid. A grapefruit. Cut in half of a spoon my mom used to give me. Oh my god. Yes, please. Eating the grapefruit in a hotel buffet punched the air. I just like what what kind of weird evacue OAPs have they got in this hotel that are chomping on a grapefruit like it's some sort of magic it's disgusting grapefruit. Horrible. Absolutely what did you get out of it? It's all sound is that? What did I get out of it? What's the taste? What's the taste? Sour. Oh right so you've got a granny Smith. Are you doing this to that? To banter to try and make it different to mine? No I'm not. You're not. This is

a bit like you're doing it on purpose. We're like you're tranking you. Okay. What's your third? I've said strawberry. I like a strawberry strawberry., Granny Smith. Grapefruit, grape to nigh so. I like a grape. A red grape, not a green grape. Oh, I love a green grape. Cause he does. Absolutely cause he does. This is what? This is what?

I can't believe. I just, when you get wrapped up in your world, I just can't believe people like you exist. When I see a grapefruit in a gr. I the grape fruit, I the grape fruit, I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th.. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm thripe. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a grapefruit, I'm a grapefruit, I'm, I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A't believe people like you exist. When I see a grapefruit in a shop, I'm like, who's buying that? I come along, porridge and grapefruit for wreckness. Do you have mango? Yeah, I do like mango. But not as much as a grapefruit. So if there's a mango in front of you you and a grapefruit, you're going grapefruit? Yeah, I can't be specified enough. I can't specify I'd say enough how much, that's how it works with favorites. That's how it works with favorites. I'd pick it over the other one.

Who's I guess today, Rob? Who's our guest today and what are their favorite fruits? Well, we can ask them. I don't know if I remember actually I drove you to Oxford once and I said to you, because I didn't know you that well. You know, you've brought you brought you brought you brought you, you brought, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the they, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. Who, th. Who, th. Who, th. Who, th. Who, th. Who, tho, tho, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to for the rest of your life and what one fruit to eat the rest of your life, I didn't say this. You said, are we really having this conversation? Well, whoopi do. Look where we are 15 years later. But we're doing this conversation. We're doing this conversation. You know whattime I said it, I said, are we really having this conversation?

Yeah. You interrupt me because I hadn't finished my sentence. I wanted to say, I'm not recording it because it's Sackard. Are we really having this conversation and not recording it for a podcast? We really have this conversation now in a car and not recording it for a show that we haven't done yet. And you just said, what's a podcast? I don't think you even had sex by then never mind had kids. Come on. Oh go get the old grapefruit out he's ready to go. Right a guest today Josh I'm excited about his guests I love Jess. Jess Foster Q who we've gig with for years haven't we she's very funny. She's very funny. Very funny. She's got she's got kids. She's got a kid. She's got kid. We we we we we we we we we to to to to to to to k. We k. She got kid. We to to to the kid. We got kid. We got kid. We got kid. We got kid. We got kid. We're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Yes. th. th. th. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. S. G. S. S. G. S. S. S. G. S. S. G. S. S. G. G. S. G. G. G. S. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. got a kid. We talked to her about it. Yeah, that's how it works.

We haven't done the interview, that's why we're doing it. That's why we do, normally we go, oh, this is great, we've done it, we're actually about to do it. No, I know it's gonna be great, but theymean't, and it's really, it's really, it's really're all eagermaniac, narcissist, nutters. What? How dare you? So at a gig, all you're really talking about is other comedians you dislike and how

your jokes went. So I don't really know much about Jess's kid. And that's what I want to find out now with the listener. Here we go. Ea tho'n't to the show. Thanks coming on, Jess. I've not seen for ages. I know, a million years, thanks for having me. And now we're all growing up and got kids and stuff. Oh no, gross. Yeah. It's awful, isn't it?

Yeah. Talk us through your at home setup. Okay, so, if you do mind, this is going to be very short episode. I prefer not to talk about my family. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to like to talk about my kids actually. I prefer not to talk about my family. Yeah, I've got one seven-year-old human boy. And then it's all quite complicated and modern. Yeah, that's what we're here for. We love complicated and modern. Yeah. We're too complicated and modern guys. We're not complicated, are we Rob? I don't think that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's too complicated and modern guys. Well, we're not complicated, are we Rob? I don't think I'm very modern.

I think I'm a guy. And that's the moment all I'm sort of 89% sure of. I think I'm complicated and modern. Okay. Yeah. What a great team. And so I live with my girlfriend and my son also lives, I'd say about a third of the time with his dad, who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe. th. th. th. th. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. toeeeeeeeeeeeeeean. I'm toean. I'm toeeeean. I'm thean. I'm theean. I'm theeee. I'm say about a third of the time with his dad who's 20 minutes walk away down the road. That's our setup yeah.

It's not that complicated. It's not that complicated but if you saw the spreadsheet that I keep. I think most people say so basically we are co-parent with his dad and then we've sort of got my mrs as a backup as a backup I recently learned the word sparent which I thought she'd love because it feels like a nice sort of innovative twist on stepparent right rather than stepparent is sparent yeah but I said it to me it's like oh I've learned this word and she was like nah and I think actually it doesn't make her sound important enough. Yeah I think I agree with her I think I agree with her it

makes you feel slightly like oh yeah that person as well. Yeah yeah yeah. You're here so I might as well give you a name. Yeah yeah exactly. Like how Prince Harry oh yeah he's done a whole book called Spare it defined his life now that he's modern and complicated. Very modern. Very complicated. Very going on over it. So then excuse by ignorance, Jess, didn't you to answer that? So you were with, romantically with dad, and then a life change happened and then that stopped. That stopped. Yeah, yeah, we broke up when my son was about three, about four years ago, yeah. And I had intended to be a sort of single parent and single and single generally and having

a really fun life for a couple of years, but infuriating they fell in love within months. Oh, that's annoying. Oh, I know, It wasn't, that wasn't the plan. Yeah. But yeah, so now, so now here we are with our very modern setup. Yeah. And how does it work when you say you've got a spreadsheet? Yeah. So, because I've got friends obviously who are co-parenting, and they have very set days.

Are you free and easy? I've got, you got Pilates on a Tuesday. I've got you know I've got yoga on a Wednesday we'll exchange those are you those kind of people? So basically in the I have to like hats off to my son's dad and to my mrs. And to my son because basically it has to be like that not because we're cool but because of the nature of my work basically so it's my fault there's a there's a shared shared to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the the their to their to to their their to to their to their to to to to to to their to be a to be a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their. their. their. their. their their their te. today. te. to. te. to. to. to. to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the basically so it's my fault there's a there's a shared document because I never I'm a shared expelled especially yeah and who's on that just you and the dad yeah no spare and the spare and the sparrant's on but she hasn't got editing property hasn't I've got editing a

she's up that shit apple pages or whatever it is she has to get a download a special CSV file to access it or something like that. She's on a PDF printout. And so how far ahead are you plotting in? So mid-month, I do the next month. So once I'm past 10, I love planning. I do love planning. Yeah, I'd love that bit. It almost makes me want to split up with Rose the thought of the spreadsheet. Oh God I hate you've been doing this for so long now that she doesn't listen so she'll no no she can give a fuck. She only listens to half the episode because that's what she'll get if you broke up.

I went through the other day what Rose has consumed of my career output and it is it is embarrassing. It's like she's read neither book. She's watched one episode of my sitcom, she watched one episode of hypothetical, she hasn't seen the last leg since she used to come down to the Green Room. She could not be less of a fan of me. Well did you did you meet your partner at a gig because Because that's the danger, isn't it? Because I met Lou before I was a comedian, but I think it is a weird, slightly odd power dynamic, when audience and performer,

but I don't know if you met at a gig. No, I didn't meet Steph at a gig, but I met, we got had a play on there, she writes like serious proper things. And yeah, it is funny that even within, well, less than four years, is that that summer we got together, I think she saw that show three times, maybe four times, brought all her friends. And then now, yeah, I just had a 10-minute short out. And then, yeah, I just had a ten minute short out. It was a th. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is that. It is that. It is that. It is that. It is that. It is some some some some some some. It is some some. It is some some some. It is some some. It is some some. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. We th. th. th. We that some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some th. We th. th. that some some some some some some some some some some some some th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We though. But don't you want, you'll have to go to one of her fucking serious plays then if she starts coming to a comedy, don't want to do that? I've been to all of them. All of them, they're all heartbreaking. I need therapy after every single one of them.

And that's the problem with that is, because it's a play. You have to go, you have, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the.that exists. Like Rose can just keep kicking it down the thing go, yeah I am going to read the Parenting Hale book but I'm just really busy whereas with a play you have to go. Did you come to see a tour show? Rose? Yeah. She came once in London. I think that's fair. But it's very much lose the same. She come once, the same. to thrown the thou'n't thinininininininininininininininininininin, th i i i i i i i i i i i i's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's thee's thee thoom. thoom. thoom-it is thoom-it is thoom-it is very tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi's thi. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the th. It's th. It's the theee. It's the. It's theeate. It's theeate. It's theeateate. It's the. It's very the. It's the. It's th, and it's very much like visiting an uncle in prison. You have to go once to show that you've not disowned him. However, you do want that relationship to sort of Peter out. You're not. To new friends. I don't find them that pleasant to be around.

I guarantee you won't want to leave. Speak no, Yvarr is filled with teeth clenching, seek clawing suspense. Something's not right with him. I've always wanted to family like yours. James McEvoy will scare you speechless. Oh! We're going to kill us. We're just sad to see you go. Speak no evil, only in theaters now. If you're craving a getaway this fall, we invite you to explore the colors of New Brunswick.

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There's no, I tell you, it's when it really, when I really realized, because it was quite new, that it had only been the setup probably for about six months when we went into the first lockdown. And that's when I really thought we have nailed this. Because at that point he had he still he lived on the same road so we were obviously in a bubble and it was before I lived with my partner and I mean that to get away from a four-year-old every couple of days just for 24 hours was a touch and I found myself whenever I had a job you

know I was talking online with anyone who had a similar setup we'd be like he just be like clacking in that we weren't still with our partner so that we got like tiny little breaks and I'm sorry to brag but it is it's amazing in terms of like sleep and um oh I don't know what it's like when you look work late, whatever, like it's just so nice. I was thinking this about a friend who's split up, you're less liable to think I should sleep, sort this sleep issue because you think, well in two days they won't be here anyway. So you know, it's only like two-thirds of my week I'm having to deal with this this this.

I'm having to deal with this. So if they're sleeping in my bed, that's fine. Yeah, it's um, but what has emerged now over the years is that, well, I used to joke when my son was a toddlant he was sexist, but now he's seven. Um, he still is. And so that is a worry, yeah. And where it's really glaring now, well, there's a lot of mansplaining happening at the moment, but generally, he will go to bed really nicely at his dad's. He will tidy up his dad's. He will wash up, he will put things away, he will put dirty clothes where their men are go. And here, he just expects that to be done by at least one of the two women. He's a little sexist. Yeah. Yeah, or the other, I don't want to, you know, play devil's advocate here, but the dad might be a better parent, Jess?

Is that a potential? Yeah, there is a shot. I mean, I'm, I'm just like, yeah, he just is responding better to the, he's happy to comply to someone, to someone he respects, yeah. Well, my daughter's, Lou's been saying to me a bit more, but I don't, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, my daughters, they do not respect her. But they'll listen to me a bit more, but I don't know if that's a girl thing because they argue like they're on a Hindu, my daughters and my wife. My daughter doesn't respect me nearly as much as she respects Rose.

Right, okay. It's not a parenting quality thing in our house. I'm not, okay. Not in Jesses, no, let's not, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, in Jesses, he's sexist, there's not get away from the seven-year-old. Obviously, a sexist pig. Yeah. Do you have to have conversations with your ex about like tactics and discipline and where you draw the line and all that kind of stuff?

Oh God, yeah. But also, I think, he's way rulesier than me. So we just have to like, it's very hard to have a consistent front on that. And like, I don't know, he'll be much stingier about what my son can watch. Right. Right. What are you letting him watch Andrew Tate? Keep me news or bust in my son? That's your homeschooling. He's got his Jordan Peterson book out again, sat their feet up to Darmacid.

Do you, with him, do you have a situation where like, will he play you off against each other and say, my dad lets me do that? Oh, I suppose he doesn't. I wonder if he's playing his dad off against you, saying my mom lets me do this? Yeah, or do you know? Yeah, he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he'll definitely. He'll definitely. He'll definitely. He'll definitely. He'll definitely. He'll definitely. He'll definitely. He'll definitely. He'll definitely. He'll definitely. He'll definitely. He'll definitely. He'll definitely, I th. He'll th. He'll th. He'll th. He'll to play th. I'll play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play, he'll play, he'll play, he'll play, he'll play, he'll play, he'll play, he'll play, he's play, he's play. He'll play. He'll play. He'll play. He'll play. He'll play. He'll play. He'll play. He'll play, he's th. He'll play, he's th. He'll play, he's th. He'll play, he'll play, he'll play, he'll play th. He'll th. He'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. to to to to to to to to this. Yeah, or do you know? He'll definitely be doing that. Yeah. Yeah, but he's also, I mean he's also sort of openly embarrassed about me to his dad and in public, yeah. It'd be like, oh my mom, my mom's language is disgusting. He's always like bragging about. And he says out loud, within the last 24 hours he said out loud to me, you're not a very good parent. Oh, what the age? They do start to get quite chippy, don't they? They get a bit confident. He's sass-bag, he's really,

but it's all with a little smirk and we're going to be annoyingly, it's quite funny. Yeah, because they're trying to wind you up, that's what we find. They'll say anything, like, Lou went out the other th an th an th an th an th an th an th an th an th an th an th an to put an outfit on and my daughter says she's seven you're going out like that mom? Is that what you're wearing is it? And I'm just like yes. Oh yeah but that is like just but yeah she doesn't she's just sort of trying to wind up like wind up like wind up about anything but doesn't really realize that some people might be really insecure about yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah is we were at yesterday I dragged into the gym the tttt. their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. th. try. try. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I....... I..................... I....... I. I... I. I. I. I. the. I. I. I. I. the. I. I. the. I. I. t. the gym, because they can just sort of like sit and do the coloring or whatever. And someone was saying, someone in the gym said,

sniff like sniff my disgusting wrist wrap things. They smelt all vinegar and she. Oh, thank God, thank God it ended like that, Jace. I was going to say it. To your child, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, to me to me to me to to me, to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thin, thin, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, thi. And, someone, someone, they. And, to your child? No, no, no to me, until I had to say, but my son was like, can I smell it, can I smell it? And she was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, and he smelled, he was like, whoa, and he got a big laugh of that. And then he went, that smells worse.

That smells. And that got a massive laugh. Then he just cracks on, you know, everyone's moved on, everyone's just carrying on with whatever they're doing the gym, and he's still there shouting, My mom's bomb, stinks! And you're like, oh God, and I was like, love, can you stop now? It was really funny the first time, but can you stop now?

And he went, ah, he never gets old. to where that? That is heartbreaking though when your kids say something funny and everyone laughs and you know well fair play that was pretty funny and then they keep doing it and it gets less funny and then you're like you're actually embarrassing me now. Yeah. Is I can't be associated with this level of banter it's not. So on a stag do in the banter you sort of just drift off to the corner of the pub like I don't want anyone to be better and they just just just just just they're young I don't run any better and they just keep churning it out.

Yeah same joke again and again and again until it's arid until people have not just not laughing they're angry. Yeah. Yeah. both. Have you always been into weight lifting? Oh, no. I got into it in my sort of early 30s sort of a little bit. And you compete, don't you? Have some, yeah. I do cross fit. It's like a cult.

It's like, it calls itself a sport. And what can you lift? Oh what do you mean deadlift? Yeah? Oh says for a man I don't lift nothing. Oh bloody weak arms I mean I don't know either I don't I don't go I don't go to the gym. We comes is my favorite insult anyone. Look at those pretty good actually Josh bit a definition that was actually that looks better than I thought it was gonna I didn't know you won two with your left arm weird for righty. So does your son, does your son want to do weightlifting? Yeah he does do it? Does he? Does he? Does he? Does he? It does be weightlifting? Amazing? We threw that? My gym? So the woman that runs my gym is like a was a Commonwealth Olympic weightlifter.

So that's the one where you just do this two lifts are snatched a clean jerk and it's very like like it is strength-based but it's also really technical it's almost like a dance. There's a lot of like moving up and down at the same time and that kind of stuff and so I think I think kids are actually sort of naturally really good at it because they've they the the the the they're the the they're the the they're the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their they. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they. they. is is is is is sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort of they. they. I's is sort of they. I's too. I's too's too's too's too's too's too's too's tha's too's tha's tha's tha's tha's tha's they. and endless energy. So what's he lifting? He's not lifting much so... It's all about technique the dead lift Josh. It's all about technique and you build up. So what's funny with that yeah if kids compete under 12s they're not judged on like whoever lifts the most isn't the winner. They um your score will be made up of how good you look when you're doing it basically, how well you're doing the movement. Not just like if they're a particularly like a handsome child.

I tell you what, it's three kilograms but look at this guy's smile. Oh, is he enjoying it? Did he like it? Yeah, he loves it. Yeah, yeah. There's gonna be an age so he's not gonna want to do it because no one wants to go and do what the sport them parent does. Exactly. Yeah, so I'm just enjoying it while it asks. He's going to hate it at any time. How do you feel about it as he gets older and stuff? Because like you say, he's got quite a modern and complicated set up at home and th. And th. And th. And their. And th. And their their th. And th. And their th. And their th. And their th. th. their th. th. their their thi. thi. thi. their their their their thi. thi. thinks, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, their. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's tea. tea. tea. tea. th. th. th. Yeah, th. I or have answers for him and stuff? Or do you think... Oh, I don't know. I mean, I don't know how to prepare for it to be honest. Oh God, I'm sure a better parent would have thought about that. Well, no, I agree.

I think you can't prepare for a situation that that to exist. Exactly. And actually, even explaining the current set up too. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to prepare to prepare to to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to prepare to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the to prepare for the the the the the the the the the the the the the to prepare for to prepare for to prepare for to prepare for to prepare for to prepare for to to set up to a seven-year-old is so, I mean it's funny because you don't, they don't understand romantic love, they don't understand the difference between that and you and at this age he still is like, well I mean ideally you'll marry me and even if I'm even explaining it. That wouldn't be modern and complicated. That would be modern and complicated. I went out about modern. Yeah. Throw back. if anything. So I've explained it as best I can and it's so hard because he can't say like well he was like well I'm really early on so it was a few years ago he was like well Jacob is my boyfriend and it's sort of his best friend as my friend son who lives miles away and barely sees him and I said yeah yeah I mean the thing is it he sort of isn't and he's like, uh, he is. And I was like, okay, all right. And he's like, well, what is the difference?

And I was like, um, I suppose it's more like, how do you explain it? You know, you don't, do you want to rip all their clothes? It's a mate you don't shag. And I probably mucked. I'm the the their their their their their their their th. I probably mucked. I'm probably mucked. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. the difference. the difference. the difference. the difference. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. I. It's like. I. It's like. I. It's like. I. I. It's like. It's like. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. friend. And I was, I probably mucked it right up because at one point he went, well, I love Jacob and I'm holding his hand if he wants, maybe to cross a road, but he's not getting a kiss. And I said, oh, fair, you know, fair enough. Absolutely fair enough. And I thought he'd explained our set up to his friends at school and I had a big wake up call that he hadn't, when he had a friend round for a play date, I call her Ivy. And she was like really sweet. She's one of those like at the time six-year-olds that's like got the energy of a 18-year-old. Just tall and glorious and rides a big white bike and just really cool, just cool like an adult and a kid's body. As soon as she walked in, she was like oh let's have a look around your house like yeah. I like I'm like I've seen other

people's houses and and my partner Steph was around for the whole of this playday and then towards the end stuff went out and I'm Ivy went so so um that woman She went, she just popped around whenever she wants or... She just popped around whenever she wants. I didn't realize Rudy hadn't explained that that's my girlfriend, that's my partner, and she just sort of took it in and then went, oh, well I suppose it's fine to be gay, but I do want to meet the dad. And it wasn't, there was no like malice in it, but obviously, well I haven't completed the set. Yes. That's annoying. I thought that was a cleaner. Obviously, you know, he'll be talking about his mom and dad at school and stuff, so she's

expecting to see both if she's not known the set up, but yeah. The kids are potentially potentially potentially potentially potentially potentially potentially potentially potentially potentially potentially potentially potentially potentially potentially maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe they thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their th. thi their their their their their there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. the. the. the. I the. there's no there's no there's there's there's there's there's there known the setup but yeah said the kids are so funny and he thought potentially has maybe mentioned this other woman who pops around whenever she likes yeah that's amazing the spare the parent oh that's so good and and so that's the thing as well you don't want to go you don't want to explain over explain and go just so you know this might come up do you know I mean yeah oh it's thi tha th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the. he thi? Yeah. Oh it's really tricky. There was I mean it's there was a thing a while ago there was a thing where he is really the school quite chilled out and they're allowed to like paint their nails or whatever if they want and he's into that like he's got his load of his own nail varnishes and he wanted to do his nails for school and there was a kid. the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid their the kid their their their their their their their th. th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their school. their was. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their was. their was. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. te. ttode. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. th. the. the. he stopped doing it and I asked why. I was like, you just stopped feeling like doing that and he was like, no, and he said these two lads names and he was like,

they keep going, it's gay, it's gay, it's good, and I was like, okay. And it's that thing where that's the first, so far only one, I mean they're so young but where it's been like, oh god, and actually had a conversation with his dad and I thought what is the point and he to be fair his dad was more sort of than me was like I do think we should say something I think we should say something because and I thought I don't know that we should I don't think the kids realize not not this young anyway I was like I don't think those five and six year olds have any idea what they're saying really I don't they understand it from they're they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they they they're they're they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they think they understand it. Yeah, they will have heard that. Adults that shouldn't be saying that. Or from an older kid, do you know what I mean? But equally, also the thing that clinched it for me was, my son's not that offended because he doesn't understand what they're saying. And I was like, why make him more upset than the... Yeah. He's not that. He's not that. He's just not, he's just just just just just just just the the word. He's just. He's just. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Also. th. Also. th. th. Also. Also. th. th. Also. th. th. Also. th. th. th. Also. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th word in to mean rubbish. And we sort of explained that bit and it was like,

all right. So where are you where are you living? Are you in London or? South East London, yeah, Louisham. Yeah, I mean, your ends well. My ends so, you know, I live around there for years. I've moved out a bit further now,that it's a bit more creative but South East London you still do get them old school South East London types that will say stuff like I've got to

send family it to say stuff and I most family occasions I end up having a row and leaving and I'm just like you just can't say that oh I'm going to talk about what you can't talk about what you can't say that what what can't the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the you you the the the the you you the the you the you you you you you you you you you that oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh that oh that oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the you can't talk talking about what will and then I'll be in like a church or a christman guy no you can't say that what can I say that well you can't right no but I'm only joking yeah it's not really a joke is it well how do you know well if anyone should it should it should be me it's actually my job so yeah so I find it very difficult so yeah that's a tricky though that's a tricky though thi though though th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a th th that's a th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi toe toe thi toe toe toe thi thi thi toe thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thicky though, and ultimately as well, whatever happens to your child at school, whether it is about your own setup or about other things, there's a million things kids get teased about or stuff shouted at. You can only really do so much, so long that the school needs to be on top of it, but it's sort of helping a kid to learn how to do with it, because the reality is, you're the triv. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thin, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thing, their, thing, their, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, thin, thin, thin, thin, the... their, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, their, their, their, their, their, their but it's tricky, because you want to be too involved, but then not enough.

It's a balance. Also, it'll be 10 and they'll be benching 100 KG, so it's five. Or it'll be seven KG, but it'll be so handsome no one will care and either way he's on some up to the boarh. Yeah, same the same thing, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, same thing, thi, thi, same thing, same thing, same thing, thi, same thing, thi, same, thi, thi, thi, same thing, same same, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. So, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi's, thin. And, thi's, thi's thi's thin. And, thi's thi. And, thi. And, of both. Yeah. How's the summer holiday been? Oh long. But you get the breaks I suppose. You're obsessed with the breaks Josh. It's the first man to get divorced for a fucking lie down. Do you want to see other people? No I don't want to see anyone. That's the point. I just want to be alone. Oh God. Yeah, summer has been fun. I think because normally I sort of ruin everyone summer by doing the the breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks the breaks breaks breaks breaks the breaks breaks breaks the breaks the breaks breaks breaks the breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks the breaks breaks the breaks breaks breaks to the breaks breaks breaks. the breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. I's the breaks. Josh. Josh. I's the breaks. I's the breaks. Josh. I the breaks breaks breaks breaks breaks. I the breaks. I the breaks. I the breaks. I the breaks. I the breaks. I the breaks. I the breaks. I the breaks. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the breaks. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. You. I'm. You. I'm. You. You. I'm. You. I'm. You. You're. I'm. You. I'm. You're. I'm. You. You're. I'm. I'm. has been fun, I think because normally I sort of ruin everyone's summer by doing the fringe up in Edinburgh and I'm not doing that this year so I've really like

put a shift in. What have you done? What's been your, what's been on the agenda this summer then? Jess, what have you? Oh God, now I feel like I'm nothing particularly special. We went to France with some friends. I'd say the worst, if you've done nothing and the worst you've done the parent, there's a more the listeners all like you.

You're on a win-win here. Yeah, I took him down to my mom's endorse. It went to France with friends and that was a touch light. I'm so used to like getting to to to to get for a week away doing and I got there and this is the first time he's been old enough as soon as we got there oh my god I've got a story for you as soon as we got they just off with other kids that's it I barely saw him for the first time in and the parents were still there when we arrived, just for like half hour before they left. And we got there,

Rudy and I, my son and I, my son and I had been awake since 2 a.m. to get a six a. to like, he was wild. He was wild, their thirty-a' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. their, thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their, their parents was still still still still still still their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their their, their their, their, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. the parents was the parents was their parents was still. And, their their, their, their, the higher car. And when we got there he was still awake and the parents were still there so they're like lovely there in their 70s I've known them all my life. My son goes out and starts get straight in the pool right with the other kids and then we're all chatting away and it's all quite polite because they're you know they're my elders and then I was like someone said, and my friend said, I don't think so we, it looks like he's having a shit. And my friend's mom, whose house it was, and who's lavender bush, it was that my son had dropped trout. His mate in the pool had said, he said, I need a poo, and his friend had gone,

you can go in the bush if you want, thinking he'll never do it. He dropped his trunks and curled out an adult-sized shit right into the lavender bush, right in front of my friend's mum who planted that lavender bush. Oh my god. And she went, I hope he's not. And I was like, oh my god. I could see it, I could see it curling out. I like ran out. I was like, what are you doing? He was like, Pepe? And I was like, why? I knew it. Jacob said, and I was like, no, everyone's just watching, we're all just sat watching, you do a shit and he was like, I'm doing it now.

Oh, bless it. Oh, no. I was standing in front of you. I had to get scoop a hot fucking adult-sized shit into a dog poop bag. I was like, okay, go inside and wipe, let's go and have a shower. And then I was like, what do I do with the shit, my friend was like, wait until they're not looking and then just chuck it in that field. It was. It was scyabolical.

And then a dog came over, a dog came over, kept trying to eat it. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the shit. the shit. the the shit. the the shit. the the the the the the shit. the the the the the th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. kept trying to eat it. Oh my god it was so gross it was so gross it was so embarrassing for him and for me he's just crying because I've gone in too heavy with the why are you shitting? Because once your shit he can't stop shit and then you're guilty you're feeling guilty for making it a bigger event. Exactly I felt guilty for making him the only person who loved every second of it was to the the only person who loved every second of it was my friend's kid who told him to do. So he's the real villain in this. He was delighted. No, I mean he's also seven but he was like he he he and then and his mom said, Jacob did you make him do that? And he went, it was massive? It was massive. It was massive. It was just laugh it off if you're the homo and it was she laughing at it eventually? They kept it the the thin. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I was. their. their. their. the only. the only. the only. the only. the only was. the only was. the only was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was, was, was. He was, was, was. Was. He was. Was. He was. and my friends who were like our age loved it. Yeah I think the thing is the lavender smell is so strong it's gonna it's gonna take back over. Not as strong as this

smell. Lavender is not as strong as human shit. It's not strong as human shit. It's got to be the strongest smell known to man. You know what also you're never really to lean over and smell that lavender that. It the th. It th. It that that the th. It that th. It's the that the th. It's the th. It's the the th. It's the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. tho. tho. th. thi. thrown. tho. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's the the the the the the the th. I'm. I'm the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the th. I'm the the the the the the tho. You know what also you're never really gonna lean over and smell that lavender without knowing. Yeah, you know what I mean that that lavender bush just needs. Imagine though you go about next year it's double in size they'll start shipping him over. Get him around for two weeks. Greatest fertilizer known to man. Your mom hates it when you leave six half full glasses on your nightstand. It's a good thing mom lives on the other side of the country. And it's an even better thing that you can get six IKEA 365 plus glasses for just $9.99.

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Terms and Conditions of Live. Visit Amex. tox dot the same. Are you, um, and you're going on tour, right? Yeah. Tickets are on now in October now in th now in tho tho tho tho tho th now in tho th now in tho tho tho th now in tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the tho. the tho. tho. their thooooooooooooooooo. tooo. too. too. too. too. too. toour, right? Yeah, next year, next year. Yeah. Tickets are on Sower in October, we'll put it on our social media. What's the show called?

Thank you. Metal, M-E-T-T-T-L-E. I think, I'm not saying I regret it, but, um, it's some I'm gonna have to try hard, is what it's sort of about. I think it's funny, I think basically the older I get and I just turned 40 so I'm having a moment. Congratulations, happy 40. Josh had a complete breakdown. How did you do it? Oh I did have a wobble, but what's embarrassing is I think I've had a wobble, I had a wobble before 30 and that's a wa th... I was was was was was was was was was was a wabled, I was a wabled, I was a wabled, I was a wabled, I was a wobb I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was, I was, I was, I was a wobble, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I was a wobble, I'm a wobble, I'm a wobble, I'm a wobble, I'm a wobbocked, I'm a wobble, I'm a wobble, I'm a wobble, I'm a wobble, I'm a wobble, I'm a wobble, I'm a wobble, 30 and that's because at 29 I had nothing I knew I wanted. I wanted to love and be loved. I wanted kids.

I wanted to own my own house. I wanted to do well enough comedy to be allowed on the tele and radio. I want to make things I wrote. And now I've now I was like, so what's the wobble about? Because you have actually got those things. It doesn't dress. It doesn't even look cold. Oh no it does. It looks about 38. It looks fine. Everyone's face looks older than it was. I know it's annoying in it. Not everyone's you could you know that's the wobble at 40 is the age thing isn't it because of 30 you want those things and you got all those things. Yeah. The thing you want now Jess and I'm sorry to break to you you can't. You can't. You is is is is is the the the the the the the age. You is. It is. It is. Is the the the the the the age. Is. Is the age. Is the age. Is the age. Is the age. Is the age is. Is the age is. Is the age is is. Is the age is is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is the age is. Is is. Is is. Is the age is. Is the age is. Is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is the th. Is th. Is the th. Is th. Is th. Iss. Yeah. But the thing you want now, Jess, and I'm sorry to break it to you, you can't get. Yeah.

Oh, you can't. You can't. Snip. Well, yeah, you can if you go down that route. Yeah. I think it would be so off brand if I suddenly went full of a thaugh. I'd suddenly went to to get quite like to have more of an ass.

I've got good legs though, I take my legs are good. I think I've got leg energy. Nice. But that's mainly because my top half so heavy they have to be strong. Well, you get your eyes lasered. I just don't see why you would. I prefer wearing glasses. G. I love having glasses. I the th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I've thease thease the. I've the. I've the. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've the. I've tog. I've toge. I'm toge. I'm toge. I've toge. I'm toge. I've toge. I've the. I've got got got the. I've the. I've you would. I prefer wearing glasses. I was thinking like getting done, just because it's easier than not having to have glasses with you all the time.

Gee, I love having glasses. When I'm laying on my front trying to watch Tick Tock as I slowly pass out, sometimes my glasses get all skewed. So do you watch, Jess, now you're a weightlifted athlete? Do you have a specific way? Side curled up like I'm still in the uterus. Oh, strong. That's good though for your back being on your side or your back. Is it? Yeah. I sleep curled up in the sort of top left-hand corner of my bed because my mrs wants to snuggle in and I hate to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to the the the the the to the the to the the to the the to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the to bea. I'm toe. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoomereen. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's their. I's their. I's their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theck. I'm theck. I'm theck. I'm culled. I'm culled. I'm culled. I'm culled. I'm culled. I'm culled. I'm culled. I'm culled. I'm culled. I'm culled and I hate to be touched once I'm trying to go to sleep. So I sort of like I'm creeping I creeping away from it the whole time.

I don't get those people that cuddle up all night next to each other. I do not understand it. She wants to chat. We love a bit of that. Do you cud is spoon, yeah. And doesn't, doesn't roses back get cold when she's spooning you? We will do, we will do both ways, Rob. We will. Yeah. So is that our complete 50-50? It's 2023. I like being next to Lou in the bed, but the actual cuddling and holding for like two or three hours, absolutely not. I'd get so hot. Of course I love a cuddle all day and all night, but

apart from those seconds when I'm trying to sleep, when I actually want to go to sleep, even if a hand is on me, it's like good, get off. Yeah, no, I don't like me in touch when I'm going to sleep. My brain won't switch off if there's any physical contact. Really? Yeah, but you sleep with the duvee over your head, Josh. Do you cover? I have the duvee over my head. How do you breathe? I have my nose and mouth out. But what about Rose when you're spooning her? So the duvee would go over my head and then down and over a shoulder. So you're still covering your face? Of course. I'm not mental. I'm not mental. How are we the weird people here, Jess? I don't get it. I just like a snuggle, Rob. I just like to feel secure and wanted and needed at night. I do the day and like stuff, but not when I'm sleeping. But everyone's different.

Yeah. That Lou, though, Lou sleeps really high up the bed, so her head's like millimeter where I like being a bit further back. So I just feel like my wife's like seven foot. So you're further down? Yeah so it's quite weird actually. What's your views on making the bed? I don't mind it I'm very efficient at that because I used to be a chamber made when I was a child. Do you do it every day? Yes. Rose can't say enjoy being downstairs if she knows the bed isn't made? Wow. Wow. Wow. Really? Yeah so if to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, to thi to to to thee. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooes. So the. So 't made. Wow. Really? Yeah. So if we get up she needs it to be made straight away. It could be how you started the grounds

for the divorce that you want is that one day you just don't make it. Yeah that is a good idea. The day I didn't make the bed and it all went wrong. She knows it's over. So the tour is next year. Yeah tour's next year yeah. Excited. I am I the the day. Are you. Are you. Are you. Are you. Are you. Are you. Are you the th. Are you th. Are you th. Are you th. Are you th. Are you th. Are you taken taken taken taken taken taken tha. tha tha tha tha the the th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tak him tak him tak him tak. I'll tak. I'll tak him tak him tak him he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he'll he. I'll he. I'll he. I'll he. I'll tak he'll tak he'll tak tak tak. I'll tak. I'll tak. I'll tak. I'll tak. I'll tak. I'll tak. I'll tak. I'll tak. I'll tak. I'll t's a good five minutes in it until you just tell someone to take him away. Yeah. How do you get your kid kicked out your own gig? What a story? You can only come to a gig where there's really good security. Yeah. Well he's just like shouting women aren't funny or those old sexist ways. It sits out. I think you need to move him a monster here. Should we do the final question? So the question is how, well, basically, it's more different when they're separated from the partner, but the question is, the best thing and worse thing

about the way your partner or co-parent parents. Yeah. OK. negative which is understandable when they're no longer together because it might you know for the sake of selling a couple of tickets for your tour on a podcast it's not really worth opening that wound. His aunt he listens and text him. No don't worry I'll talk again I'll talk again. So what is the one thing about your co-parent, your son's dad that they do parenting wise they think oh that's amazing I'm so happy that we that we that we that we that we that that that that that that the the the the they're the the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the the the the they're they're to to to their to to to to to to they're they're they're to they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their th thi to to thi to thi to to tho to to to to to to to to to to their to tho to to their thi thi they're they're ththey think oh that's amazing I'm so happy that we've got this child together and one thing that's will wind up a little bit and if he was to listen he'd go yeah fair enough she's got a point but you don't have to I don't want to call dramas I don't know whether he'd say fair enough

you've got a point so I don't know if he's fair enough you've got a point and she falls off do you think the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin thin tho I tho tho tho thin to thin to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their their tho tho tho tho thooooooooooooooooo' their their their thooooo' she falls off. Do you think you'll listen to this Jess? Potentially, yeah. We've got an arrangement where I'm not allowed to do any more stand-up about him ever. But I think podcast is fair game. Yeah, I think podcast is a fair game. Yeah, it's a small print. Oh, parenting it would be rude if I hadn't. Also it's not a joke you'd be nice about him aren't you? Yeah, well he is a brilliant dad. He is a classy dad, he's a classy ex. He's really, yeah, he's way better than me. Exactly, yeah, proofs in the human son and his behavior with him compared to with me. What he does brilliantly, which I find extraordinary and we're very different is that he parents

without anger ever, he doesn't ever get annoyed, like I suppose mildly irritated and he has big emotions but he's never angry. He's like the least angry man I've ever met and that is I think so glorious and I'm in awe of that because I get I get really annoyed. What does he do that, I mean, he's to hate this but I'm going to say it. Fair enough. It's a small thing and I do, well because I'm watching my son emulate it and I wanted to stop. Is my ex, his dad is a, he's like a shit winner at games. Right. He's like yes, yes. get in, yes, and like there's no humility in victory. I think that's just men. I don't think this is a your son or him issue. But this is it like when you've got like a man in his 50s going loser to someone who he's just beaten you're like, well this seven-year-old doesn't stand a chance. Oh. Jess, thank you so much. It's, oh, it's been. It's, there. It's, there. It's, there. It's a, there. It's a, there. It's there. It's there. It's there. It's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there's there's there's there's there's there's there. There's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There, there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. the the the's just beaten you're like well this seven-year-old doesn't stand a chance. Jess thank you so much it's been

really refreshing to hear someone talking about co-parent and stuff like that if there's anyone listening that's sort of quite anxious about it or it's on the horizon and stuff like that is there any advice you give or or it always interested in it like always interested in it like I am. Or just even a little bit of tipping over to be pushed into it. But is there any advice you give for someone that is now faced with a situation when they are splitting the child's time between two households and two parents? I think that you can make up a setup that works for you. Like there are going to be people who are like, well, for consistency's sake,

we will need to do something the same that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to be, to do something the same that's the same every week or the same every fortnight but actually like that doesn't work for us so we've been able to be more flexible I think the same you get such rigid advice about what to do about money what to do about this look at your situation and what's going to make both of you feel the best and function the best and the happiest and thi thii the best the. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the. the. the. the. the. the's just so, I think there's a lot of emotion and a lot of guilt around ending a relationship when there are kids involved. But it's absolutely possible to do it with the kids' interests and number one. And actually it sort of simplifies the logistics of it. If every decision you make, go, well, what is the best for them or him or her?

What is the best, like what's going to be the best thing for the kid in this situation? If we can't work out what to do, then that just give, you just go with that option every time, basically. Yeah. It's a nice like guide to have to, because there's so many decisions that can accommodate yeah, because I imagine like you know Say for example like oh, he normally has him on a Saturday So but you'll come back from France really late because that's when the flight was yeah, you know, you know You know and you look getting at four a tournament and you don't you know actually I have him from nine this poor needs to sleep. Yeah, yeah, exactly that if you're flexible exactly that exactly yeah, exactly that's exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it. Yeah, it. Yeah, it. Yeah, it. Yeah, it. Yeah, it. Yeah, it. Yeah, it. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. Yeah, that's. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's. Yeah, it's. sort of sign point in it. Yeah yeah totally and that and it basically just had to be so organized we just have to be really organized

and that helps right get a spreadsheet get a spreadsheet get a spreadsheet out. Well Josh why don't you why don't you why don't you why don't you put together you're proposed how you would split the kids with you a rich and see yeah yeah just a little pitch, I'm just saying if it were to have but this is how I think he should run. Jess, thank you so much. It would be brilliant. Good luck with the tour. Thank you so much, Jess.

Hey, thanks for having me. It's so fun. Follow Jess on. Follow Jess. . Yes, I'll try. . . Jessica Foster Q. There you go. What's your website, Jess? So I imagine they can sign up to your mailing list and they'll get an email on the

tours on sale. That's true. And the new website is coming any second actually. It's Jessica Foster Q. tocom. Right, so get on there when it's up. Maulsta Q. Yes, yes. Jess Foster Q, Rob, I've got to be honest, I've got to go and get my neck done by an

osteopath. Cool, Shuave. Was it too loose or too stiff? What's the problem? What do you think too fucking stiff, mate? Also, yeah, osteopath is a really loose one. How is it going to make it stiffer? I just like wobbling it about in the next. Love that one. I was really good at cheerful as well because it's always good to have people talking about different set-ups, you know what I mean? Yeah, brilliant. Really good. Thanks Jess.

Go and see her on tour. We'll put up the details up but sign up to her mailing list. We'll be back on Tuesday. Right, let's be tea later mate. Bye-bye. Hello, I'm Charles Brandreth. What's the very first thing you remember? That's the question. I'll be asking my famous and fascinating guests in Rosebud. My new podcast about first memories and first experiences. My first memory is handing my Auntie Muriel a piece of turd. Other guests include Dame Judy Dench, Allison Hammond and Rory Stewart.

Download and listen wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, I'm Jaraz Alderson. And I'm Domlin Noir. We are filmmakers, and we are two of the hosts of the Filmmakers Podcast. Which is a podcast about filmmaking, surprisingly, where we interview guests from the filmmaking and TV world about how they make their films and TV, including Bafter and Oscar winners

and the journey and challenges they go through to get them made. Guests have included. Stephen Frye, Joe Wright, Christy Wilson Cairs, Fernando Morelles, Alice Eve, Mark Strong, and Ian McKellan, just to name a few. And many, many indie filmmakers all about how they make the films and TV, from micro budget to studio movies and everything in between. So if you like filmmaking or want to know how films were made, then listen to the filmmakers podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts.