Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S7 EP15: The Most Chaotic Episode Ever

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools. C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with Delilah can you say Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Widdickham? Josh Widdickham. How about Wigglybum? Wiggley bum?

There we go. Why has he done that? That seems like he's feeding him. Josh Whittliddley bum? Did you get called at school? No. What did you get called at school? Shit hair? Oh Josh. Shit hair. Is that the best that you've got? One of Britain's finest wits.

Sometimes it's not about being clever, it's just being quick. I don't even, it wasn't even that quick. I think if you, if you walks into an office and someone, here it comes, shit hair, I think that's getting in your head. More so than like, oh here he is, a wiggly bum, that's quite, wigley bum's a bit of fun. Shit air is quite, that's quite aggressive. I'd say, I'd say, if I walked into office someone did that, I'd be straight onto HR. Classic shit air move that is. You heard what shit has done? Yeah, he's gone fucking blabbing, they? Where is he now? He's gobbling some porridge in the fucking staff room. All right.

Sorry, go on, Josh. Do you want the email from these people? Yes, please? Delilah, Josh. This is my two-year-old, Delilah Elvin. We are, we have been listening to your podcast since 20 21 when we had a newborn and the evenings were very long. We now have to to to to to to to the to to to the to to to the to their to to to their th. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, the the the thi, thi, their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I, th. I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thooooomoomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooom, tooomorrow, thoooo'. Sorry, thoo' tho' the were very long. We now have two girls born 18 months apart and still love listening to you every week. Thanks for the last. Best wishes, Leanne, Dave, Delilah and Darcy. Ah. I'm calling it. What's that?

There's a generational change between the names. I feel like Leanne and Dave are fed up with having normal names. Let's do this. Delilah and Darcy, welcome to the world. See where I live Rob? Delilah and Darcy are normal and Leanne and Dave, that's fucking none of them mate. Lian and Dave should move to East London and be these sort of, ironically the home of the Dave really. And the home of the Leanne? Yeah, exactly. Well, that's awful gentrification for you. Yes, Josh, can we explain what's going on? You're stood up in your kitchen at the moment and you've got the eyes of a man that's, I'd say, the rest of his day's not looking great. No, Rose's, um, I don't know whether Shawbridge broadcast is, I was going to say to a small portion

of the nation at the ta ta is coming out of both ends at top speed, Rob. So yeah, because that's the thing, when you're when you're unwell with kids, really, if you've got a bit of a cold, you're not allowed to be unwell, you just have to get on with it, that's life. Yeah, no, there's no way she's getting up. She's been sick three separate times this morning in the last hour and a half. And I'll be honest, Rob, when she went to for number two this morning, I had to put the brown noise on just because I didn't want to listen to it because it was. You put brown noise on to drown out the brown noise, yeah. Is she going to be okay with this being broadcast? Well it's it's context. It's I'm saying if you don't if you don't give that information

the listener goes oh come on Rose get up get on exactly. Exactly. Fair play Rose take the time you need rehydrate get a Lucasade down you. So I went up and I said look I've put the kids in front of Pepper Pig. Rose was working today so the good news is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. I'm. the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm., look, I've put the kids in front of Pepper Pig. Rose was working today, so the good news is, we've got child care from halfway through this episode. Oh yeah, so we only got 20 minutes of you solo parenting and doing a podcast. Yeah. Me and Michael had a had a Cobra meeting. Oh no. Because we got a message from you at 8, we were starting at 8.31. Already late. That's fine. We expect that's that's that's that's that's the the c. the c. to have the c. th of. the the th of. the to have the th of. th of. the the th. to th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to the th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to work. to to work. to work. to work. to work. to work. to work. the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. th. th. th. th. the the thi. thi. the the thi. thi. the the the. tooooooooooooooo. toe. toe. to. to. the to. the the thi. 831, already late. That's fine, we expect that from you, Josh. It's not a problem with two, a couple of chilled out, you know, podcasters.

And he said, Rose's early bed, I'm sitting up in the kitchen so I can watch the kids and me were like, this is over. There's, I thought you were watching him for next four hours. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, because, no, because, because, no, because, because, no, no, because, no, because, because, no, because, no, because, because, no, no, because, no, no, because, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, th. No, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, no, I, no, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. thi. tho. thi, the So we've got Carol Waldom on after this. And so also then obviously I get my laptop. I've been on holiday and it's been some holidays and works probably in two weeks. So the laptop's obviously dead. So you've plugged it in on the side because you're stood up. I've plugged it on the side and punched over it because it won't reach the kitchen table and I went into the basement for an extension lead and the only one I could find was attached to a plug that had in permanent marker written on it pump washer and I don't

know what the pump washer is from. What's a pump washer? I don't know but I don't want to unplug it. Why are you washing your pumps you got and how dirty are they? I tell you what, the pump wash has got full power and I'm hunched over my bloody soda stream on the side of the. Well that this is good though because it's a little bit of like chaos but it's manageable because you've got someone to look after kids in 20 minutes. Yeah, it's not three and a half hour narrative for the day. We're not, you know Michael's heart heart, heart, heart, the heart, the their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, th, the, th, th. the, th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the the the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. to, to, the, the, the, the, to. to. toom. tom. tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, to. half hour narrative for the day. We're not, you know, Michael's heart must have sunk at that point. Yeah, the 15th time you go, sorry, I've just got to go in and give him something sweet.

Sorry, Carol Voldem. Luckily it's this podcast. This very rarely happens on the news agents to John Sople and Emily Maitless. How are you though, Josh apart from this sort of stressful early early early early early early early early early, the early, the stressful, th. I saw early morning rearrangement. All good. Rob. Yeah. I'm not ill, but yesterday, I went to the fair. Okay. Like the fun fair. Right.

You suggest that you need to be ill to go there. No, but Rob, I'm going to send you a series of tickets, pictures. Oh, oh, oh my God. Oh, oh, oh my God. Oh God. What? Child care. Traffic is horrendous in capital letters. Oh no. Oh no. I'm pay off.

It's backing up on the road. I wish it would be in the upstairs toilet. Right. So what time she said? How far away is she? How late she going to be? She said, she'll keep us in the loop. Because this, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, this this this th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thu. the, thu. the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the tho, tho, too, too. Oh, tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Oh, too. Oh, to be? She said she'll keep us in the loop. Because this, well, I don't have been in the loop, I don't have been in the loop, on a fucking time, because this

doesn't just affect you and your kids. It affects me and Carol Alderman. And Michael? There's a sentence that's never having said before. I didn't say that. Ito us. Well, Rob, I'm sorry. This isn't about you and EDF energy. This is about me and Carol Order. It is because my house doesn't exist and I'm going to have a bill for about 20 grand next year. Answer it. Answer it. Answer it. Answer it. Okay. Hello. Hello. As a procedure I will need to ask you security purposes again. Okay can I please have your full name? Yes Robert Beckett. Okay so your complaint was regarding a drink yeah yeah complained yeah so it has been updated on our system. Yes

so you've contacted a National Grid and they've accepted it. Yes, Bian. Thank you. Now it's finally updated on our system. So that's all good. For gas an electric? Now it's for, let me double check. Oh no. There we go. This is for electricity only. Right, okay. I will be having the gas to the same address. Do you have an account for gas? Do you have an account for gas? Yep. Just provide that for me so that I can double check it.

I haven't got that information. I gave it to you when I first rang out. Oh no, it's all going wrong. I have the electricity one here because this one is only for electricity. Right. When I was going I to to change the the the th going I was going I was going I was going I was going I was going I was going I was going I was going I was going I was going I was going I was going I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was. When I was going to change it if you provided me with the gas as well, because now it's still in the grid. Yeah. It's not. Yeah. I've done everything and resolving everything for you, can I close it on my side? Well, yeah, but I still haven't got the

gas one. But if you want to close it, Bianca, the number for gas? No, not on me. I'll tell you what, let's close this one th. Be th. Be th. Be th. Be th. Be th. Be th. th. the th. the th. the the the th. the th. the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to. t go for no not on me I tell you what let's close this one Bianca and then when I've when I've got the energy I'll come back at you for the gas we do that okay that's fine yeah yeah yeah I've got no I've got the gas but yeah it's absolutely fine 50% absolute thumbs up. Thank you very much, Bianca. Bye. Bye, B. Oh my word. Fucking hell. I've never, I've never worked so hard to get an invoice. I've never worked so hard. I mean, it's bad enough paying for your gas electric at the moment, but fucking hell. Bian's been lovely though, to be honest. Oh, there. There's there. There's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's. There's. There's there's a. There's a there's a there's a there's a there's a thi. There's a thi. Oh, thi. th. th. thi. Oh, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, thi. Thank, thi. Thank, th. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. the moment, but fucking hell. Bianca's been lovely though, to be honest, but she could only result.

Oh, there's a child in the room. You're right. No, you want to sit there? You can sit there? Don't do it. Okay, you sit there. Okay, so this is the story about yesterday. the the the tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thia. thia. the the the the the their. their. the their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thooan. thooooan. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tod. thoooooo. thoooo. the the. the the. the. to the play yeah yeah there there staring me out he looks quite suspicious of me what do you want this is unbelievable I'm so sorry

Rob you are no you can't no do you know what I'd do pick it let him pick him pick whatever snack he wants out the fridge and says yeah go do you want do you want some mommy's chocolate do you want some mommy's chocolate you want some mommy do you want some of Mommy's chocolate? Do you want some of Mommy's chocolate? Mommy's chocolate! Ten to nine I am! That's how you parent! Now fuck off into that living room and watch Pepper Pig. For anyone worrying, Josh is getting this through his headphones, the child can't hear. I'm not an absolute monster.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen, I can't believe I've got to ring EDF energy again. No, no, no, no, I'm going for the sick Pepper Pig. I'm sorry, guys. I'm so sorry about this, I'm so sorry. He should be in a Richard Curtis film as a little posh English boke, apologizing. I think it's, uh, I think it's gonna be a challenge for you to edit Michael, however, I do think that if you can't th you can's going to be absolutely top-drawal stuff. It's supposed to be, I was really looking forward to today, kids are back in school properly now and just fucking just enjoy myself run free now. I haven't got any gas and Josh. Oh he's back. Oh he's back. Oh, he's back. You're back. At least pretend to enjoy it rather and obliged.

So it was a bit underwhelming, all things considered. Where was the fair? Captain Park. Okay, yeah, East London. It was fun. We went. But fun fairs I find a bit like they're like throwbacks to a different time. And especially for you guys, it isn't very like like like like like like like like like, it is hardcore fluorescent lights, candy flocks. Some of the guys that were

working on those. They're all on the run, aren't they? I don't, I was like, if you were casting a show about people who work on funfares, you'd go, this guy is two on the nose. He had his shirt. He had his shirt I'm buttoned to the bottom button just unbutton to the bottom button just one button done up at the bottom what is wrong with you? I actually this isn't funny at all I heard I saw some of the worst parenting I've ever seen I'm not even going to say what he said to his child because it was so horrific. Oh what now come on what did he say? It was genuinely shocking. Like, you're not going to laugh at this. I think I haven't, I'm worried, I will. Because you're going to have to beep it out.

Oh, right. Oh, no. His kid went up to the top of the hell to Skelter. Yeah. He was about seven or eight, and then dad who's wearing an England shirt with his own name on the back. Do you know it was his own name? Well it wasn't a famous player. Right, okay. It might have been someone else's name completely. Bear in mind, this dad had a tattoo of a, well I'll say what he said to his son because the tattoo's funnier than... Yeah let's build up to that let's get through the horrible bit this poor kid had to deal with. His kid walked down to the bottom of the hell of scale and his dad to have to him. I told you you're a... Oh my god. Isn't that horrific? In awful in a whole in the total of of. that that awful. that awful. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful. that that that that awful awful awful. that that awful about awful about awful about to that to that's awful. that's that's that's that's that's to to to to to to to that's to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the toda. the the today the today today today today tho. I'm not and you're like oh my God. That is so horrible is it? Awful. Awful. He had a tattoo on his leg. Yeah.

I've got a picture I took a photo. of the rancy. You'd have a little secret photo. I love a secret photo. Well, I thought this guy fucking deserves it with his stupid tattoo. Look at this tattoo. Like that, I can't believe. The tatte. Imagine having that pot on your leg for life. It's a middle finger pointing up, but from behind rather from the front. Someone giving the bird. But, the, but, but, but, but, but, the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, I, th, th, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, is the tho, the tho, the the the tho, the tho, the the tho, the thooooooooooooooooo, they. With thoooooo, the thumb. Someone giving the bird, flipping the bird. Someone giving the bird, but sort of the behind the scenes as if you're doing it yourself.

So you can see your thumb and your fingers pointing at you and not. And then some feet on the bottom of the hand. Yes, so it's like a giant hand with two feet walking along and giving the bird to him, which I think is slightly more weird, a man wearing a high-top trainers with some the longest socks I've ever seen, but I think because the other guy's got ankles socks on. And the back of the life... You know what, Josh, I'm surprised you went to the fair, becausethey do is a poster attached to a traffic light. I don't go there. I've had bad experiences. I just sort of think any fare that is transported from Lincoln and set up on the same day and starts doing rides.

I would say the health and safety is on top of that. Well, we had a lovely time. The health and safety didn't need to be on top of it because it wasn't that fast. Right, they were little rides. Yeah. So, well, there was some big ones, we didn't go on them. And then at the end, we decided to go on the waltzes. Okay, yeah. So this is the picture of us getting on the waltzes. They're more extreme. This is the start. Can you twist them yourself yourself? them? them them them them them them them them them them them them them them yourself them yourself them yourself them yourself them yourself the the picture of us getting on the walcers. The waltzes? They're more extreme. This is the start. Can you twist them yourself or they just self-twisting? The men on it twist them. Right, so it's not the ones where you can move the middle, you just hold on. No. Right, also I'm saying Josh, as aist from the waltzer man. Because if Joshua comes on your waltzers, your waltz is him as old as you can. Right, that's interesting you say that. So if you've seen

the picture of it starting. I'd say there are five people, there are three children, two adult men, that couldn't look more up for come back from Vietnam. Honestly, this is me 15 minutes later in my toilet. What? You're still, what happened? I threw up, Rob. All the children were fine and I threw up. All the children were fine and I threw up. But sure it's not the sickness bug or is it just pure?

No, it's not. Well, it can't have been because I got off the waltz, half around, it went on for so long. I could, it went on for so long. I was so begging for him to stop. But internally, because I couldn't show weakness in front of my child. And he kept spinning us around so fast. It's the voice all since Josh. He was spinning me around and it was so fast. Look, there's a video here. Do you want to see a video?

Yeah. So I'm the one at the end of this video that you can't see them on because it's going so fast. Look at the speed of this fucking waltzer. You'll see my cup come round at the end. It's the one that's going really fast. Look how much faster mine is than every other one. We've got to put that on Instagram. That is not okay. What they've done to you there is a trang out of order. It was unbelievable. That's so bad. That is, I'm surprised that is unfair on the kids. If it was just you two and your mate in there, but the, that's unfair on the kids. That was so much faster. I've never felt a deepless life. I wanted to have a go at you for being pathetic. That is mental. It looked like

astronaut training. It was unbelievable. I couldn't believe it was out of it. So did you run home to be sick? Just kept spinning me around. And then so no I didn't run home but I felt sick the whole way home, had to walk to the car, drive home, and then I had a slice of rye toast to try and settle my stomach and that didn't work. Right, that's like that dry Swedish shit, isn't it? Right, but I just thought that's a settler, isn't it? Toast. If you got a dodgy tomorrow, because? Because, to, to, to, to, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, the toa, toa, toa, toa, I, I's, I was, I was the the the the toa, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to, I. to, I. to toa, I. toa, I. toa, I. toa, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'ma, I'ma, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, I's to, I's the togy tummy toast is a second. When I got home, my wife had made dinner for the kids, and looking at the pizza, I was like, that cheese makes me want to throw up. So I need some of the roses.

The roa was there, she was at home. No, she was at home. Oh, dear. Oh, theyme. to be the too. to. to. to. to. to. the to. to. to. th. th. the th. th. th. to. th. to. to. th. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. the to. the to. to. the the to. to. to. the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the. to. the. the. to. the. the. the. the. the..............................................., but I couldn't believe it. All the kids were fine. What about Tom? He was on with Tom Crane, was it all? Fine. There's another guy from Clapton who threw up after the waltzers as well, another one of the dads. So it is a thing that's going on. I'm just warning you. Unbelieve it. I couldn't believe it. Yeah, in your defence, I want to be having to go out you for like not being how to deal with it, but that was unacceptable. When we put that on our Instagram, you've got to, you've got to say, that's too fast.

Yeah, you're all right. Can I have some toast? Do you want some toast? Yeah, of course. Okay. Okay. You go back in talk to sugar toast making Josh. She didn't eat her fucking porridge. I'll tell you that for free. No gobble.

Right, so he's off Mike at the moment, just popping in the... What's that? It's a podcast. Oh, yeah. You're all right. Yeah, you turn the light off. I mean, could you call this episode a podcast? A breakdown? Just a couple of people catching up with no, no care or attention to sound quality. Rob, I need the summer holidays to end. I think I need the toilet. I was like, come on my fucking elk. Help me out. Yeah, you've got Roe-ro.

Is he not got nursery today? No, because there's two inset days, Monday and Tuesday. Oh, never have nursery on a Monday. No, no, no, no, no, he does Wednesday Friday. Oh, he does Wednesday, every way. But my daughter and him both start back on Wednesday. Right, okay. We've got two more days. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. to. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the the tho. the tho. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoo. tooooooooooooooooooooooo. toda. toda. today. tho. tho. the. the. theittsball. We're recording this a little bit early as well though, so. It sounds like your kids go back in October if people listen to it. Oh no, no, no, sorry, yeah. This is the Monday when everyone on Instagram is being smug about their kids going back.

The years don't go back to the Wednesday. Wednesday, Wankers waiting. We're doing this on the Whitstable. It was so stressful Rob. Why? Well there was three adults and two kids in a house that was too... Can you go and watch Pepper Pig? Don't forget the toast. Yeah, I'm not forgetting the toast. She likes it barely done. I mean he's just lying on the floor. Look at this. Is he tired? So, uh, we were in Wittstable. This is a sign of a stressful holiday, Rob. How long do you go for?

Well, this is the thing. We went Monday to Thursday. You left early. And then on the Wednesday, Rose was like looking at her emails and she was like, oh, I've misjudged this we booked it for four nights not three yeah we could stay for an extra night and both of us had to kind of go I don't want to have to look at it too small the accommodation no it wasn't too small oh gosh that's overdone show us that is she look he scraped it off any black on it yeah that is a that is a that is a that is a too that that is a that is a touch that that that th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that is a that that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a the the that is a the the the the the the the th th th th th is a th th is a that is a th is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a the that is a the the the that is a the that is a that that is a that that that is a that that is a that is a that that is a that is a that is a Oh gosh, that's overdone. Overdone? Show us that. Is she... He's scraped it off. Still like any black on it.

Yeah, that is a bit overdone for me as well actually, I'd say. Oh, fuck. It's not for you. I swear in front of your child. Oh, he's only two. He doesn't know. Scraping it off, oh that old trick. How young's your kid? She'll know what you've done. If Rose was upstairs, she'd be saying, that's cancerous now. That's what she says about every bit of burnt toast. Oh really?

Oh, carcinogenic. Yeah. Oh, all that, yeah. That is. You can't have a bit of toast. What can you do? Can't burn your skin or burn your toast anymore. Please say you've gone mad, mate. Right. What's on it? A bit of butter? Yeah.

Sorry. I'm so sorry about this episode. How's it? How's it? How's it? How's it? How's it? the the the kids? Let me just take this touch. Did you see that?

He fell over? What's that doing on the pool? I don't know, because I've lost control. What is it? It's like a poster. It's the in the cardboard inner tube from a rug a rug right that's a tough thing to recycle though I know that's why it's there because we've had it hanging around we don't know what the rule is Right go and give her a toast she could come and get it really couldn't she you come and get your toast Josh you've not put it on a plate I'm doing that now what kind of zoo are you running? She's giving a kid burn toast to eat on the sofa about a plate. I was getting the plate.

I was getting the plate. Oh right, sorry. Oh yeah, by the way, because I'm sat at the side. This is my natural sitting position. So I'm hovering over like this. soon won't they? Oh where is she please? I'll get an ETA on that. Um yes I said Whitstable. So we went to Whitstable. So who was it? You and Rose's mom and the kids or just you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, actually. What do you need?

Right, here I am. Here you are. That was all right. What did she need? Pepper pig had crashed. Soon, witsitable. So, in witsible. Rose is in bed with my daughter.

That's the sleeping arrangements. I'm upstairs on the mezzanine. Is it the same room as before? Yeah. So he went back there, but how was it going back? Now, I want to say, now that you feel a bit more control of your life, I don't know. Maybe there's work to be. By the way, I should just say, I heard Rose moving upstairs and I thought, oh, she's got up, but she's come for another spue, hasn't she? She's definitely not rally. She's the rally. She's the rally. She's definitely. She's definitely. She's definitely. She's definitely not. She's definitely not. She's definitely not. the rally. the rally. the rally. She's definitely not. the rally. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to to to. to. th. She's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. the. the. the. th quite, it was great. Do you know what I thought I was going to do? You left early? Yeah, because we've had, we didn't leave early. We left on time. You left a day early. No, no, no, no, no. We left when we originally thought we were going to leave, but we turned down a bonus day. That's the way I like to see it. Yeah, because I think with most holidays, if it's been a great holiday, most people will turn down an extra bonus day. That's normally how I will be going back next year. Same place.

Same story. We do love it. I'd say from the two times you visited. I wouldn't say it's been a resound. I would say this. Three stars tops. It's been a long summer holiday. It's the holiday holiday holiday holiday holiday holiday holiday holiday. It's the holiday. It's the holiday. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's been three. It's been three th. It's th. It's th. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been three. It's been three. It's been three. It's. Three. It's. Three. It's. Three. Three. Three. Three. It's. Three. Three. It's. Three. Three. It's. Three. It's. Three. It's. Three. It's. It's. Three. It's. Three. It's. It's. It's been three. It's been three. It's been three. It's been three. It's been three. It's been three. It's been three. It's been three. It's been three. It's been three. It's been three. Three. Three the five of you at the end is a mistake. Yeah, really at the end we should have saved up stuff like the art class for the end. I think like as well what we've done is we've divided and conquer so so I'd say a bit like you know lockdown. Yeah, I've had too much quality family time. I'd say the qualities dipped and what we did. My daughter doesn't want to spend time with me. That's fine.

No, but no, I think they do, but one-on-one. You don't need the whole family dynamic. No, she doesn't. It's kicking off in my house a bit, and because it's two girls, and girls, and thages, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and're nearly eight and six, not for a couple of months away from the birthdays, they're getting very confident with chatting back and negotiating and giving each other stick. And I feel like, when Lou argues with them, it is like three adult women argue it.

And so the other day, my daughter come in and said, my seven-year-old, did that they, the thing is, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th............. And, and th. the the the the their, and their, and their, their, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they-a, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, the other day my daughter come and said, Daddy, my seven-year-old, to Daddy, can I have a chat? Can I have a quick chat? I went, yeah, I went, the thing is, and Lou was arguing with him, she just went, the thing is that mummy is sometimes just a little bit extra. What, like, Howard from the Halifax? Yeah. Extra, but like, I don't even know if she's got this word, this word, this word, this word, that is so extra. Like, I don't use that word, Lou doesn't, it's like the generation below us. Ow, fuck.

What's up in there? I'm just trying to get my seat correct. And Cosby, they're all arguing. And I feel like a bouncer, try where I'm at. So we, I, Lou stayed indoors and I took him swimming and then she'll, she's gonna take them somewhere else today. So that we're just sort of taking hits and then having recovery time. Because we've reached a point, we had lovely three weeks. Yeah, you actually said, I don't know what all the fuss is about.

My, summer holidays is easy. Leave the fucking fuss, mate. But just what's happened is my daughter is a real, should they get on really well my kids, but they are bored of each other. Yeah, yeah. And my daughter is a social person who wants to see her friends. Yeah. And she's dead. She's bored of us, essentially, which is fair enough.

Yeah, and then you were so, so, Whitstable, she would have probably just preferred going to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to their their their their their their their their tho.. thooooooooooooooooooooom. the the the thoooooooooooooo. too. too. to to to th. Yeah, and then you're... Just look at me. So, Whitstable, she obviously, she would have probably just preferred going to the part of her mate and you've gone the way down to Wittsbill. Well, her friend did come and visit for a day. And she had a great time. Don't get me wrong. She had a lovely time. But it was a day-trippy place, you don't, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the mezzanine right in Delaware sunlight. Lovely. Getting flashbacks. To the year before.

Oh God, the year before, I've come a long way. But I'd say there's still further to go. I'd say there's a little bit of work to be done, however you're on the right track, and it's all heading in the right direction. I would say it's bold to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go back to go back to go back back back to go. to go back to go back back to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to to to to to to the to the the to the to the to the to the to to the the to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the breakdown though, I'd find that quite stressful. I was fine actually because I'm I so understand what it was that happened to me if that makes sense. So I'm not like, I'm not investing it with a previously for about six months I was investing it with almost supernatural properties of like I've got this problem with sleep and now I was just like I was just having an anxiety based breakdown. And so now I'm not having it I can get sleep. It doesn't feel like this big scary monster that can't be tamed no exactly.

Oh yeah I just need to sort of not work as much do some therapy do some meditation I probably will go bed yeah exactly and I slept like ato snoo. Exactly. How was your last week? I have had an unbelievable weekend, Josh. I'd say it was like, the perfect weekend. Go and talk me through it. So basically, what happened? That doesn't sound like content I want to hear, but carry on. But I feel like from the shade.

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and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Joined for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary, eligibility and member terms apply. No, so the weekend is as follows. So took the car in for a service on Friday morning. Lovely. How did it pass? Yeah, didn't need anything doing on it. It had a slow puncture which they repaired for free as part of the service. Oh my God, everything's coming up, Beckett. And I dropped it off. And I dropped it off. And then we had a sleepover. And then the mom that was picking up her as a daughter said, I was going to have to get an Uber back. Rob, do you want me to pick you up from the service place on the way back? Because I didn't have the cars, I dropped it off. I went, yes, please, that'll be lovely. So I got a lift back.

That was very nice. Then I spoke to, oh, I speak to my therapist person every now and again. Everything's all good, just to sort of th. So. So, the they. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. I. I. I. I. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I was. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, that. Oh. Oh. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that, that, that, that, that, that's. Oh, that, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, I. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. stuff, that was really good, enjoyed that. Then, then, add a lazy evening, like, lazy afternoon, then went out for dinner with some friends, which I really enjoyed to a new place nearby. That was up with Lou. That's so unlike you. Normally don't enjoy socializing seeing people, but I did. What did I wear? I wore a black t-t-shirt. Because we discussed this the other week week, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, and, I was, and, to-a, to-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, liked-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked, liked-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s a black t-shirt. Because we discussed this the other week whether you dress up for dinner. Yeah, it was out for dinner.

I wore a black t-shirt, black jeans, a pair of black trainers, and a black jacket. Um, what? Yeah. Just that. Who are you? Who are you? If you wear black? Particularly when you and Lou sound up on your motorbike. Like the end of Greece. Luce putting a cigarette out as I'll step off my all black Vesper. Anyway, so that was really nice and then then the next day was a little bit hungover because

we got in Josh at 2 a.m. Fucking Nora. Right. Anyway. What's this Saturday night? Or Friday night? That was Friday night. What time you're up with the kids and who did it? About 7-ish, but we sort of, they get up about 7 and we're just giving their iPads until they bully us to make them breakfast.

Yeah, yeah, of course. And then we've started shouting, there's in the morning which, do you know what, I'm into the dog walks now. I'm absolutely loving the dog walks. Did a dog walk, came back and in the afternoon, the kids had a party that they went to. A kid's party, I went there and was chatty and sociable to everyone, Josh, very polite. Who are you? Then I got picked up from the party at 5 at at at at at at five money and enjoy myself The gig I got taken to a pub in central London to watch the UFC

And do a fan commentary of the event. Oh my god whilst having a few beers Oh my gosh, what does any officer Rob Beckett? And on the way back my car was going past Luz friend's house where she went for a little party and I picked her up on the way I I thought you were going to say I went into it went in for the party and I just carried on going for it. I did. Went in. What? What? Went in for half an hour, I had a quick drink, said hello to everyone, then jumps in the car, went back home, went back home, when a bed. Loo was absolutely smashed out of her. Yeah, yeah, it almost felt like she had something seriously wrong with her and she was just slipping away on the sofa and I was just looking at the moment. Yeah, she was, yeah. But yeah, she was, and when someone's hung over and you're firing in all cylinders, it feels good, didn't it? To be around someone hung over and you're not drunk, that was great. I love that. And then I got up, walked the dog, while Lou was hung over. Then, th. Then, th. Then, th. And then, th. And then, th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the they. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. they. thi, thi, they, they, they, they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. It's, they. It's, they. It's, th. It's, thi. It's, the. It's te. It's today, today, today, the. It's theea. It's thea. It's they. It's the dog whilst Lou was hung over. Then I took the girls swimming.

Yeah. Came back, cooked some buffalo chicken wings, watched Arsenal beat Man United with a 95th minute goal. Then, had a shower, hopped in my car, went to up the creek, did a stand-up gig, and that, my friend, is my perfect weekend. That's how I want to live. My God, that is mad. I did stand up and it was amazing Josh. Just love the feeling of it. It's really good. Yeah, because also we all do different things but when you everyone in life has got something they're like half decent at and when they do it and do it well,

you feel good about it. But in life as thingss move on, responsibilities, kids, you don't always do that thing, whether it's golf or whether it's whatever, or going out or DJ and, or all your job, but even when people are good at their job, they get to a point where if you're really good at something, say you're a really good accountant, eventually you work your way up and you're just in charge stuff like that. But stand up is, you know, and I worked out, it was 15 years ago to the actual weekend because it was the first weekend after Edinburgh. I did my first ever gig at that same venue and up the creek. So it was a lovely little, lovely little weekend. That is lovely, oh well glad. And swimming was fun with the kids. That was all good. And the pies were all good. There was no major kickoffs. The major kickoff at the moment

is that Lou and the girls are clashing. And because I'm quite chilled at the moment. Lou hates that. Oh, also we took them air jump on Friday. We took them after the service. We took them tram-tramp I've worked out that the trampoline park you've not taking a daughter of trampoline park or your son have you? I've been to tramp... yeah we have been to big industrial estate ones? No we've just been to a seaside one in Norfolk. No no no I'm talking, these are like industrial estates while the kids went on, because they're old enough for us not to go on the room. Well, let's chat with the kids play. If we go there, they won't be able to hear us. But I think that is the most pound for pound, the most tired you can get your kids is a trampoline

their tramplaint... their their their their their their their the only thing. It's the only thing that works get them to sleep. The rule is you must stick to this. They're not allowed to slushy after. Because the slushy, that red and blue shit will undo all your good work. Yeah, I had this. We went to, it was a different funfare actually. And my daughter came up to me after she got off a ride and she said, could have a smoothie? And I was like, yeah, of course you'd have a smoothie. That's, that's great. I was thinking, yeah, East London classic. She meant a slushy and I'd already okayed it. No.

She pushed through the slushy under the word smoothie. And did you, you got it? Yeah, did you got it from at the fun fair as well. Because I'm weak. Because that's all their putting all sorts of shit in that and they to keep you at the fair. Yeah. Have we got an ETA yet? What from your 9.35? M11's closed.

Fucking hell, that is late, isn't it? What's shut the A11? M11? You know how she travels in, did? Going to do capital. We had a sleepover as well Josh on the first day night as I said. And I took them to- Well, I can hear padding. Hello.

Well, I thought it was quite a good story actually. Oh no, that's good stuff, isn't it? It's a bit early is it? I suppose so. It's a today. Too early for raisins? What kind of fucking miserable ship do you run? No, no, no, because we're on a one box a day strategy. Right, oh, okay. So... What? What? What? A raisins?

What? What? What? the da? that only gives the kids one packet of raisins? My kids are on about free ice cream today, Josh? This is unreal. I'm not saying that's okay. No, no, I know, I. th. th. th. th. th. th, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the th packet of raisin. My kids are on about three ice cream today, Josh. This is unreal. I'm not saying that's okay. No, no, I know. But one pack of raisins things. Rob, I'm not going to take the high horse things I gave my son chocolate at 8.50. So who's the raisins for your daughter?to spread out the sugar. Mommy's chocolate, it's a load of crap, right? He likes that. He will eat anything. It's incredible.

It's mad that we're giving him chocolate because he'll happily eat good food. He'll eat olives, he'll eat. You know all the things you. We're like, you're trying to record a podcast in the kitchen. You still got 50. It was more because she's on one pack a day strategy. I don't want her to use it too early and then have an argument with her at 3 p.m. Yeah, but this is like a football negotiation? It's true. It's the than't, to, to, to, the, to, to, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too. too. too. too. because I'm downstairs. I said to Rose, I'll just go upstairs and they can come and get me and she's like, no, you've got to do it downstairs.

Yeah, you need to be near the, that toast would have. You managed to cook toast and do a podcast. Yeah, I know. He's, your daughter's fine free range, but I don't think you can free range him. She's in charge. He's in charge. He's in charge. I'm not in charge, I tell you that for free. I, I, on the first day, so I'll tell you this, and then I took the kids, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the kids, I, I the kids, I, I, I, I, I, I, I to to to to told, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I to told, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I the their, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the th.... th. th. th. th. to th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. to go with her friend to McDonald's for tea and that she ordered, her friend ordered like a sprite and my daughter hates fizzy drinks and she's tried it and

we're not like you can't have it, she's just like, ooh, like does something like fizzy. So she went like, kind of a fanter and I was like, okay? I was like obviously because her mate's gone, And then I was talking about drinks, I like, she said, I don't like that. And then anyway, the other girl was going, I had my mommy's Coca-Cola once and that was nice. And then she said to her, she went, do you know what I like? I make me watch, she went,

and I was like, oh nothink I mentioned before as well, they keep going, because they're used to having baths before bed kids. My daughter was like, well, we're having the bath. And then her mate was like, we're having a bath. We're not having a bath. We're not having a bath. We're not even having a bath. There is no way anyone's having a bath. If you're not have a bath. Yeah, well they were just loitering around and you're in the bath.

No one's having a bath. No one's in the bathroom. No one's having a bath. Um, and it's difficult that though. Do you find that with, you don't want to give them like, um, complexes about the naked body. But, do you know what I mean? You don't want to go, oh don't look, like conversely, you don't want to be, do you know what I mean? With young kids...

My daughters won't have any opportunity to have a look at my dick and they'll try and see it. Yeah, right. No, but they just are sad. They find it hilarious. That is. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. To new friends. I don't find them that pleasant to be around. I guarantee you won't want to leave. Speak no evil is filled with teeth clenching, seek clawing, suspense. Something's not right with him.

I've always wanted to finally like yours. James McEvoy will scare you speechless. Oh! We're going to kill us. We're just sad to see you go. Speak no evil. Only in theaters now. Your mom hates it when you leave six half full glasses on your nightstand.

It's a good thing mom lives on the other side of the country. And it's an even better thing that you can get six IKEA 365 plus glasses for just 999. So go ahead. You can afford to hoard because IKEA is priced for student life. Shop everything you need for back to school at IKEA today. They found my old phones and started using them as well my daughters. Oh yeah. So they've got like phones that I've got no charge like iPhone 6 is but wander around with a completely blank screen but holding it like a parent does and just pretending to use it. That is that's confronting by your own behavior isn't it?

What's that? It's confronting about your own behavior when they know how you behave with, do you know what I mean? Like, yeah. Like my son brought me my phone the other day and I thought that's fucking bad. Oh you need this daddy, like bringing your glasses or your shoes. Yeah and you're like, oh God, oh God. But then I went straight on it obviously. Yeah, thanks very much for that. My screen token is because some holidays man. You need some kind of break. Well, yeah, they've been imaginary friends, my daughters, for some holidays, but just so they can swear. So I see shit, my daughter went, I've got an imaginary friend. I was like, all right, what's your friend called?

She said, piss. You need the toilet? You need the toilet? Okay. in a bit. It's a little head type but she needs a toilet was that right? I think because of her brother being there just to say. Oh no I need to go. She could I have to wipe her ass aren't you? No God Rob this is not needed. What's going to be wiping up um while I'm talking and you're could you do the small business shoutout while I'm gone? Well you do the small business wipe up? Yeah yeah, isthat right? Yeah I'll do some. I'll do it all right I'll be back in a minute. I mean so am I technically looking after your son now he we're we are with the small business.

He's now walked into the kitchen so I don't want to do it but if you want to stop talking over I mean so am I technically looking after your son now the way. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. I so the the the way. So the way. So to to to to to to to to to the to to to the the to to to they. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm to to to to to to to to they. So I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to to the the the they. I I I I they. I I I I'm I I I I I I I I I I I I they. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I they. I they. I I I they. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm the they. I'm te. I'm tell. I'm to me me to me to to me to to me to to to to to to to the the the the's in the kitchen now. Okay. Here we go. Small business shout out. She didn't need me in the end. What are you doing? You watch? She didn't need me in the end. I'm back. Okay. Sorry. Do you want to start doing a small business shout out? Yeah. God I'm so sorry about it? It's okay. I've still being so sorry. It's okay. I've got some other other to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to be still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still. I to be so to be so to be so the to be so to be so to be so to be so the the the to be still still still being so being so the the the the to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so being so being. I to be so being. I to be so being. I to be so being. I to be so being so being so being so being so being so being so being so being. I to be so being. I to be so being. I to be so being. I to be so being. I'm the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the th. I'm th. I'm the the th. I'm the the th. I'm the the th. I'm to be so the to be so th. I'm th. I'm th. do some business. Oh yeah, go on, cool. Okay, so we had like a bouncy castle thing at our house. Yeah. And big up, jump it, I think jumping jacks or something.

And I paid for it. I'm not getting a freebie. I like the fact you don't really know what their company neighbors. So it's not great free. It might be jumping. You could guess at the, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll tho. tho. I'll thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th, big them up. It does all get, you could guess at that for a bouncy bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy thumb limit, good lad. Anyway, so we had that, we had, the girls had a couple of friends over to play on it because we had friends around family around. You're right there Josh, you got your back to me and your son just someone else. I wouldn't say. I that, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a the door, oh, oh, oh, oh, the door, the door, the door, the the their, their, their, their, so their, so. their, so. their, so, so, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. Just, th. Just, th. Just, th. Just, just, just, just, th. Just, just, th. th. Just, just, just, just, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thooooooo. the the to me and your son I'm talking to someone else I wouldn't say that's great what the door one door she's probably the door never has a person been thrown into work so quickly this

poor lady's been stuck on the emollum she's probably been driving for an hour and a half and she has a meat immediately she's already had a pack of raisins he's already had chocolate they're're watching Pepper Pig, please don't know come in the kitchen, I'm going to move up to the office in a bit. Thank you very much. Cheers by, Carol Waterman's on in an hour. This is a nightmare. This is what it's happened a garden chair. Ha ha! Rho's just shouted down that that that's th is th is that's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that's that's that's that's that's that's what's that's the that's what it was. So now my son wants to go up and see her because I've been telling him that she's too ill.

You do small business and then I'll come back and we'll do a bit at the end. Okay, right, lovely stuff. So here we go. Small business shout out. Hey guys, after becoming a dad the first time, for the first time, I wanted to, you can cut out that crying in the background, cut you Michael. Should I just pretend it's not there? So not only is Josh not helping me do the podcast, he's now, his children are now screaming

as I recall, but it's not a problem, I'm an absolutely professional I can do this. Dear Mr. Sexty, Mr. Relatable, I shall let lettie let you let you let you let you let you let you let you let you let you let thage let thage let thage let thage let thage let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thathe thate, thate. thi, thi, to just to just to just to just that's not just that's not just that's not just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, I'm th th. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th. th. to to th. thi. to to to the. th to th th th to to to to th to to to th to to th to to th to th that th th's been more relatable today than I am being sexy I'm hoping for a small business shout out please when we add our sons emrys emrys embers this is where I need Josh because he knows more things to me oh hello how do you know say the name emrys e m m m ry s a emirse jr s what do you say the name Emris, E-M-Y-R-S? E-M-R-Y-S, Josh, what would you say that is? Yeah, Emress, don't know, M-S, Emera-R-S? Cool, good to have you back. Anyway, nearly four years ago we decided to use washable nappies to be more sustainable.

Fucking, good luck. throwne. bummed our two girls, Elizabeth and and it... It's a fucking nightmare, right? It's ELS, P, E, Hage. It looks like someone with a list, but I'm saying Elizabeth, Elizabeth, and Anne Ira, who are two and five months. The only problem is, the only problem is that high street clothes often don't fit over the nappies. So when Emrys was six months, I decided to start sewing clothes that would fit better.

People started to ask me to sew close to their own kids and eventually I started to sell them. I use 100% cotton fabrics and aim for colorful fabrics. The clothes are fit for washable and disposable nappies and are soft and comfortable. So essentially, these clothes are handmade and will fit, I don't want to say normal nappies. Disposable nappies, or the ones full of shit that you wash yourselves

that are more sustainable, all power to you. I don't know if I could stomach it. Anyway, the clothes are fit for washable and disposable naps. th., th. th. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. th. I. th. I. I. th. th. th. that, that, that, toa, toa, I, I'm, toa, I'm, that, toa, th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, th. I'm, th. I's, th. I's, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that, I that, I that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thoes, that, that, that, the clothes are fit for washable and disposable nappies and are soft and comfortable. You can find us on tots stitched. So tot stot stitched.com or tot stitch. tot stitched on Instagram. Thank you for keeping myself and my husband saying through the magical chaos that is parenting. Thank you so much cat. I'd say what I think that was hard to get through Michael. How do you think I did from an outsider's point of view looking in on that? I think there was grow up fine in the edit. You're a good man Michael you're a good man. Okay let me do the other one while he's messing about let's try and get something a bit more. They're just building the chair in the garden. Fuck off.

There's more people in your house that aren't helping with the kids. Well, my son's gone up to my wife, to my wife. Rose. What kind of chair is it? What kind of chair is it? What kind new chair? What kind of, is it like a big chair, like a swing? It's in a box at the moment, so I'm just about to get the full reveal. Because if you're buying one chair, it's not a normal size chair. If you're buying, if one chair's arriving.

It's a sofa. A sofa, fucksake. You haven't got a space for the sofa? I don't know what's going on. What the th what the th what? th you. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. tho. tho. tho. to tho. to to to to tho. to to to to to to to to to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. th. th. to to th. to to to to to tho. to tho. tho. tho. the. the. thease. It's. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It's too. It's the. It't know, Rob, it's there. Do you think this is my doing? Well, no, so do you have no idea about it? It's not the time to ask. Do you know anything about this chair? No.

It's not been run by you at all? No. Why do you text? What did you text, yeah, so I thought we're in a partnership here. It's probably be nice if I got a chair run past me actually. No, not in a million years. She ordered it the small ones who's got a hole cut in the middle. Right, Josh, I had a stiff-necked business shout out to do and I had an absolute nightmare with it.

I know I listened to it. Oh, good, it was like for a company that does sort of washing me back. I know, I know Rob, I've heard it. All the names are so posh. I couldn't say them. I couldn't even spell them. Right, do we want to do what do you want to do a small business shout out? Yeah, okay. I've all I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the to want to want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do to do want to do to do to do. Do to do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Do to do do do do. Do to do. Do to do. Do to do. Do to do. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to do. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. the th. the th. th. th. to th. to th. to to do. to do. to do. This is a loose-net one. We are called the karaoke company and our instant and Facebook are at the karaoke company. We are up. He's just talking about his garden furniture, what was that? What was that? You're going to put him a cup of tea? I was direct him to the toilet. the upstairs., we haven't got downstairs toilet. Not the one Rose's use, didn't she's not well. No, no, not that one. It's health thrists. I've not directed him to the on-suit cut through roses lying there.

Have you offered them cup of tea the builders? Yeah. Yeah. Are you made it? Okay, yeah, you've got a win. So I look nice, but I don't have to do it. That would have been, I'd say that, that or you would have been taken on too much if you had to make them tea now. I think if I'd said, when I did it, I thought I'm doing this because I'm a nice man, but Rob will be well within his rights you'd also see up, I kettle is broken at the moment. What is my life? Yeah, we haven't got a new one. Still, you have to hold down the button. Josh. You basically know it's boiling when your finger starts burning. Because the steam... I haven't you bought just bought. This, Josh, just was literally six months ago the kettle situation. I said, order one and you said you said, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, have, have have, have, have, have, have, I've the. What, have, have, have, have, what, have, what, have, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, I think, but, Josh, this was literally six months ago the kettle situation.

I said, order one and you said, you can't order one without Rose okay in it. Did I? And you've got a garden chair turning up, you don't even know what... Yeah, but she can order stuff without me, okay. It's a matter what to pass the way of his. You don't need to wear that, mate that, mate that, mate that, mate that, mate that, mate that, mate that, mate that, mate that, mate that, that, that, the the tho, the the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and tho, and the tho, and I'm tho, and you're the tho, and I the tho, and I the the the tho, and I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, and the the the the the the the the tho, and the the the the the the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoan, toan, tooooooan, tooomoomorrow, ttttttowa, thoooomoomorrow, and tho, and tho, wear that mate, you're building a garden chair. I love you, said that's well quiet in case it hurts. Right, Akiva, here we go, the karaoke company. We are called the karaoke company now, Instagram and Facebook are at the karaoke company. We're a mobile DJ and karaoke hosting service with a difference.

Think karaoke on steroids. We have a fully digital solution to karaoke. No more random request paper slips getting lost and we offer all the special extras you could ever want to make any events special. We are Essex-based but we'll go anywhere. We'd be so grateful if you and your listeners could give us some lights and shares to help give us a boost. Thank you so so much for all the laughs on the podcast from Simon and Amy the karaoke company. What I quite like is they've been quite coy about their digital solution aren't they? I've not told us what that is. I've got to go upstairs. I've got in the

podcast. I've just got a text from Rose and it's leaking shit. Okay, well thanks for listening guys, we'll see you on Friday. Fuck my life. Right. Right, is that all, is that okay, Michael?