Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S7 EP23: It's weird seeing you in person

Episode Date: October 10, 2023

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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Must be Legal Draking Age. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hill with. Finn. Can you say Rob Beckett? Broadbacket? And can you say Josh Widdickum? Well done, thank you. That might be one of my favorites. That was fucking brilliant.

He was, he was really good at it and it was funny. Here's my three and a half year old Finn saying your names. I'm from Middlesdlesbrough but Finn was born in East London. Oh here we go. Yes we've seen Josh in Victoria Park on many occasions and Finn now takes the mic out of my northern accent. Thank you for the great pop keep it sexy Michelle. Thank you Michelle. Thanks Michelle from Middlesbrough. Yeah. Down in East London living a dream. Here we are Rob. We're closing in on half term, aren't we? Yeah, how's your work, though? Because last time I spoke you were super busy, Benadorn, Bradford, and then I saw you in the flesh yesterday. You saw it in the flesh. A TV production office. Yeah. It's weird seeing you in person. It is odd, isn't it?

Because we're getting ready to film a panel show together, aren't the together aren't me? Yeah. And I saw you as in there going through stuff and yeah sort of I don't really know how to interact with people and I see him in real life if I spend a lot of time and zoom. It's weird. I sort of held your face a bit. They walk around and awkwardly hugged Tom Crane and Matt Crosby but the room was slightly too small to do a normal handshake or a hug. It was it was it is odd it is isn't. It is isn't. It is the the the the the is odd. It is odd. It is odd. It is odd. It is odd. It is odd. It is odd. It is odd. It is odd. It is odd. It is odd. It is odd. It is odd. It is odd. It is the the the the the they. It is to. It is to. It is to. It is isn't. It's, isn't. It's, it's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's the. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. It's weird. It's weird. It's, it's. It's. try to tell you an anecdote and then I was like I can't tell you that. Yeah we can't speak really unless it's recorded because it's like because if we actually have a catch-up we'll get here and look at each and go we are fucked. Yeah we've got nothing but it comes around quick because we'll talk about this man Lou like getting the kids like loose put in our their they're doing each day like what they need if it's PE kit if they've got clubs what times pick up so we can just look at it.

But then once you get it in our ed at our school everything changes the next term. So we've only get September to December and then from January it's totally new clubs and things that they do and pick up times. So it's like I can't really really the the the th. I can't really really really really really really the th. I can't really. I can't really. I can't really. I can't really. I can't really. I can't really. I can't really. I can't really. C. C. C. C. C. C. I can't get. C. C. C. I can't th. I can't today. C. C. I can't the a times. C. C. C. C. C. C. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. I. I. I. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm t. I'm ti. I'm t. I'm ti. I'm ti. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. ti. I'm. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. times. So it's like I can't really get my head on it and I'm like I'd drop the kids off today and then came straight here and did this and like I still even like my oldest who's like super happy and chilled and stuff when they walk into the playground with like their massive backpack on and you see him just looking around see if they can see they're their mates. I just can't coat I reckon if I just th long enough, I'd be sick and cry, but I just have to remove myself. And my youngest had been going, I told you, did I tell you, my youngest had been getting upset about going in? Oh God. And stuff, but she's a lot better now, but

she sort of just goes and hangs out she's her old teacher's system but I'm sort of not questioning it until someone brings it up she just runs over there and chats to her but yeah so it's I'm enjoying and being in school half-terms coming. We've got birthday this weekend it's my daughter six birthday yeah yeah my son is winding up my daughter by he keeps saying it's his own birthday as well I just want to say to a don't rise to this. Just ignore him. He doesn't really understand. No. Yeah. You're not going to be able to convince him it's not his birthday. Just let him. Just let him. Okay.

So she does that. She sort of calms down a bit. However, at the party he keeps going, it's my birthday to blow out the candles and starts. I've the p. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. th. to. th. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to th. thi. th. to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. Just doesn't th. Just doesn't th. Just. th. He doesn't th. He doesn't th. He doesn't th. He doesn't th. He doesn't th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's doesn't th. He's doesn't the. He's not the. He doesn't to to to to the. He doesn't the. He doesn't the. He doesn't the. He doesn't the. He doesn't the. He doesn't th presents. Well I'm not gonna... And then blows out the candles? Yeah I'm not gonna let him... I don't know whether he's got the ability to blow out the candles at the age of two and a half. I think he's got the ability but not the skill set. He's able but he just can't get his head around the the person and the lips. Yeah's what I say to toddlers, not just your kid. No, it did feel quite personal but there we go. In general, if you do, yeah in general. So what's happening for the party? Talk to the party?

It feels like it's only a birthday party last week. Oh sorry, cliche alert. We should have parenting cliches. How the fuck is this a popular podcast? No, we should have parenting cliches. It goes so fast. Yeah. Anyway, what you're doing? The worst is when someone tells you that your chart,

ah, they're only two. God, so far since the baby, you're like, it fucking hasn't been, mate. Well, you feel like saying, yeah, that's because I don't really like you, and I put off meeting up with you, so I do see you every two to three years. That's why I feel like it's gone quick. But for my actual friends that come down every couple of weeks, it's the norm. Okay. the take-up was

higher than we'd anticipated. Right okay so this is a situation we're in now. My daughter's in year two so they're too old now for the let's get a hole and play party games they've got interests and they want to do something so yeah for example she's got another party the their. their. their. their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. to to to to to to to to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. their. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, the and they want to do something. So, for example, she's got like a, she's got another party coming up, but there's like six of them invited and they're going to do something. So how many people, so it's you four, two-year-old, your child, and then how many school friends?

Well, we're not the cost, because Zoo that we're having a little part, like we've contacted their day to do parties at London Zoo. Right, okay, so how many kids does that accommodate? Well, so... Of course the take-up's going to be huge. It's a party at a zoo mate. I know. I know. I'm annoyed. Rob. She, they've got... We've done the full house. Rob. Rob coming so you invited the whole class well it's a small class how busy class there's 12 in her class right okay 12 on a class right okay 12 are coming right so okay so it's 12 kids 12 manageable but then plus if it's a party but I thought you there's 22 kids overall siblings to people in the class so do you get access entrance to the zoo for that everyone gets entrance to the zoo that's a great party that's there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there that's that's there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there's a the the there's a big there there there there there's a big there's a there's a there's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their the thy the is a big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big they. but but they. their their their their the the people in the class. So do you get access, entrance to the zoo for that? Everyone gets entrance to the zoo.

That's a great party. Is it expensive? It's more expensive than when it was 10 kids. Right, so that's what you'd planned for. Yes. You were hoping not everyone would come. I wasn't hoping. You've put the words in my mouth there. So is it a drop-off party? No, parents are coming. Blame it's going to be busy in it. And they get access to the zoo as well. Yeah. So they get

into, Jesus Christ, this is carnage, Josh. What do you mean access to the zoo? It's a big old zoo? No, but so you get a zoo entrance so afterwards they can't have a day in the zoo. Although it is at 2 o'clock so it more or less wraps up. Right, okay. And they can't get into the zoo before then? I've got no idea. I haven't tried. I haven't checked. Because I would be like, well, why don't we go to the zoo to do the zoo, do the zoo, and then go to the party?

Well, I think that the kids love is. We get an owl? We get an owl, it's coming to visit. You get an owl? Okay, an owl visit. That's good. And also they get to make up the feed for the one of the animals. They can decide. They can decide what. they. their. they. they. they're. they're. their. they're. they're. their. they're. they're. their. they're they're their. they're their. their. We. We're they're they're their. We'll they they're their. We'll their. We're their. We get. We get. We're their. We get their. We get their. We get their. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We. We get. We. We. We get. We. We. We. We get. We. We. We. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get. We get to. We get to get to get an to get an to get an to get an to get an to get an to get an to get an to get an to get an the the the the th. We, don't know. That seems like too many kids. For me, I thought he was going to London Zoo for the day and she'd picked four friends. Rob? Yeah? I thought it was going to be 10 to 15. So there's 24 including you and Rose, and then I imagine there'll be what, 20 adults on today? So it's going to be about 50 people there? Jesus works. And are they they they they they they are they are they are they are they are they are they they are they they they they are they they they they they they they th? Are th? Are thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thoomomom? to to thi? to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me? For thi? For thi? For thi? thi? thi. thoo. thoooooooooooooo. thooooooooooo. thoooooo. to me. to me. For tho? I to th top of that? So it's going to be about 50 people there? Jesus, wow. And are they, are they allowed to bring siblings? Because most, because I- That's some of them are bringing siblings. That, they're in the count.

They're in the count. Oh, and that brings it up to the 22. Yeah, because, right, okay. So at least you're- My daughter wanted to. Okay and then you say she's like yeah, but we're at London Zoo is already fucking 15 people come in love wind your fucking neck in no siblings of that I'm joking you've attacked both my children in the first 10 minutes well no that's what because if you do a party I hate kids parties I hate it so well as I love it I'm really excited I can see it's it does something to you Rob why it's just so many people and so many kids and then they go, oh can I bring siblings and not? But in our school, there's like two sides of the year.

So there's like, you don't invite both sides to you. There's about 45 kids in general, but some people do both sides of the year parties. Oh, you can't do that. And then if siblings come and if it turns th, it turns, it th, it th, it th, it th, it th, it to th, it to to to th, it th, it to to to th, it to, it to to th, it to to th, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th. It's, it's, it's, th. It's, th. It's, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, too. It's, too. It's, too. too. too. to, th. It's, if siblings come and if it turns out to about 80 people there. Yeah, so what we do is just one class and then but now my daughter's getting older she and I think from year two you can just do like we're going to go see a theatre show. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. I thin, I think to go see a theater show and she's picking somethen they're going to have a sleepover. Yeah, nice. That's the plan. So that's what I was saying, I thought you might be at the stage, but she's a bit younger so they're still doing the class. But she really wanted the whole class. Fair enough. And the siblings. And an animal themed God, I'm suddenly stressed. Do you reckon so if they turn up to London Zoo and go, hi, I'm here for a kid's

party at 2 o'clock we come in now, will they say yes? I don't know, Rob, I haven't looked into it. But that'd be nice though. And they do a cake and they do a cake and stuff. I haven't looked around I the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their tu the tu the the the the tu the tu the the tu tu to to to to to to to to to to. It was like you did hide-backs though, they did hide-backed, do you think I could put this in the room yet or? I did a gig at London Zoo, died on my ass, it was really hard, yeah. Tough, tough gig. Even the hyenas weren't laughing, all right. Have they got hyenas? Don't know? You'll find out. Oh, that'd be fun. Yeah, so I wasn't stressed about that, but now I am.

Yeah, well, no, I just thought you were taking a few kids, not the whole class and siblings and parents. Yeah, yeah, well the parents look school isn't drop and go isn't it not so far don't like the I don't like this culture you don't like the social if I was a football manager I'd come in and change the culture in the club drop and go boom laters bang out I love a drop and go stay Stay and talk. Maybe not. Stay in talk. Did I tell you this? I got approached by the Today Programme. You were at the Today Program. Radio 4's Breakfast Show? Absolutely not. No, told me thrown. What happens? Didn't think you would.

Never listen to Radio 4 in my life, I don't really listen to 5 live. No, 6. Yeah, you must listen to 5 live. A live. to 5 in 5 live, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, I, 5, I, 5, I, I, th, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, maybe, maybe, I, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. Did, I. Did, I. Did, I. Did, I. Did, I. Did, I. Did, I. Did, I. Did, I. Did, I. Did, I, I, I. Did, I. Did, I. Did, I'm, I'm, and, and, I'm, and, and, I'm, not, th. Did, th. Did, th. Did, th. Did, th. Did, th. Did, th. Did, th. Did, I'm. Did, I'm. Did, I didn't know it went up that way. Oh gosh, five. He's five, isn't it? Yeah, you must listen to five live. A little bit of five alive when a football, when a football, five alive. A little bit of five when there's a football result I want to hear more about. Go on. Why did today one? The Today program contacted me. Right. Yeah, don't they got their number didn't go tho tho th tho th th th th th th th th their their tho. their their their tho. tho. tho. their tho. their tho. tho. tho. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Five. I. I. I. I. Five. Five. I their. Five. Five. I their. Five. Five. I their. Five. Five. Five. I the the the the the the the the. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. how they got their number. Didn't go through my agent. I'm just saying. Just a text message. No. I call from an unknown number when I was on holiday. Picked it up. This is in Wittsible. Hi, this is the Today program. We're here to talk about the allegations. Yeah, I shut myself. Would you like to come on and a comment about a airline that's doing children only and children non-only sections, like smoking and not smoking. And they run you to see if you would want to go on there for what I imagine for free.

Yeah. So talk about that. What did you say? I said I was on holiday. You're so polite. I'll go, well well I'll go, what do you think? What do you think? Would you like to come around and clear out my gutters? The gutterings a bit blocked up with leaves. Would you like to come to do that actually. What's your view on it though? Kids crying on a plane. This is quite a good topic for us, isn't it?

Yeah, but I don't mind kids crying on a plane. No. Just also, basically, it makes a little better about my own. If you're not traveling with headphones or headphones that can block out a bit of noise or whatever, then you're doing travel wrong because I find adults more annoying than the kids. And I think if a kid's crying, I'm just so happy it's not mine. Yeah, me too. I just don't care. It actually puts, if anything, a spring in my step. Yeah, because I'm like, imagine how awful that will be if I had that in front in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in thi. thathea. thi. that that that thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thia moaning. But yeah, there you go. I did need to do one other update.

Oh go on. Go on. Our cat, the vets that have emailed in, say we need to get our cat to the vet. Yeah, Rosa said I overstated the problem. Right, okay, yeah, because someone mess it and said that you can't leave it a couple of a the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the thi. the, what was the word? It's just the breathing is the same apparently. The breathing's the same, okay, so don't worry about the cat. Thank you, but thank you for your concern. Thank you everyone for your concern.

Really? Do you actually appreciate someone? I do. I do. Sticking their fucking noses into your cat's hell? Have you not heard about, I won't name the thapapthe comedian who wore shorts on stage. Yeah, yeah, I've done that. What's wrong with that? Let me finish the anecdote. Someone contacted his agent and said, I'm a dermatologist, he's got to get that mole checked out on his leg. Really? And it was cancerous and he had to have it removed.

Right, that's me. I'm going to go on in speedos now. I'll get a quick check. Where's this this this this this this this this this this that that th that th done th g g g here that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that's that's that's that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that m. that m. that m. that m. that m. that m. that m. that m. that m. that m. that m. that m. that m. th. th. th. the the th. th. the the thi. the the the the the. the the. the. the the the. the the. the the. the the. to have it removed. Right, that's me, I'm gonna go on in Speedos now, I get a quick check. Where's this gig? Who books here? I was performing Speedos. Get them to feel your balls, check for lumps when you walk on. That's my finisher, fill my balls off I go. Oh really? And it was. Okay, that's good, and they're fine now. And they're fine now. Have have have have have you you you their their their their their their their their their their their their their tha. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. that's th. that's that's thi. thathea' th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm their their their their their their their their their. I's their. I's th. I's th. I's th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm toge. I'm t. I'm th. I'm th. G. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. Okay, that's good, isn't it? And they're fine now. Oh good. So yeah, I've performed in shorts. No, I just don't think I've got the legs for it. Yeah, I get so hot. Do you? Give it. Oh, I tell you was annoying me, Josh, though, and I can't turn off the, on the car radio, the traffic announcer. Oh, that does my head in. And it's, I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I've have th. I've have th. I've have th. Oh, I've have. Oh, I've. Oh, I've. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I've. Oh, I've th. Oh, I've th. Oh, I've th. Oh, have. Oh, have. Oh, have. Oh, have. Oh, have. Oh, have. Oh, have. Oh, I've. Oh, have. Oh, I've. Oh, I've. Oh, have. Oh, I've. Oh, that does my head in. When it just cuts in, yeah. And you're like getting into something and it was like, I'm 24. Oh my god. Yeah. How do you turn that off? There's a thing, I think it's TA on something, but the fact they're so complicated cars now. I don't understand it. My car is like a button car, you know, have you got the button on your car that turns it on and off? Or is it's a a a key? the key? the is a button car yeah yeah I just don't ever

know what it's on or off I know got an electric one it's so quiet it's so quiet it's not so quiet it's silent yeah there is no noise I just never know and then I get out and sometimes it rolls off and I jump back in and not go because it hasn't even got a proper like the the hand brakes a button yeah yeah the the hand breaks a button break the th I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th that th th th th th th th th th th I th th th th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is not th is th is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the't even got a proper like the hand brakes a button. Yeah, of course. It should be a quarter button break. But then that sounds like you shouldn't be pressing a button. I'm on a button break. I brought back a memory that I was completely forgotten when I was not a kid because I was driving but I was a sick form or something in age.

And I was parked up in a car park and went and I was feeding the money into the thing and I turned around and the car was just rolling across the car park. Backwards and I was one of the most heroic things I did. I ran across, opened the door, dived across and pulled on the hand break. Oh, that's exciting. It was so thrilling. You're trying through the window? No, open the door.

Oh, I love the door. Oh, yeah, I'd jump through the window. That window. Straight. And pulled it up like Idracellbrenner in an action film. Exactly. Josh, I can't tell you about something, I took the kids to McDonald's after school, right? Yeah. And I tell you what, 4.30 p.m. in a southeast under McDonald's is the kids in there

from the teenagers coming back from school. It's carnage, mate. There was like, there was drugs being passed around. They were like, so I don't know if it was like a big baby, it looked like an aerosol, but it looked like they were sucking on an aerosol. I don't know how that works at solvent abuse, but it looked like they were sucking on an a a aeron. And then another one was like, well, I'll go and roll it in like this is horrible. You're so horrible. How did your kids react? They were just like well these guys do it like they sort of a bit like they could sense that these kids and he was like they're like little kid you know when little kids are like no pubs but they're about

13 and he was like and an earring in he was laying back like he's their hearing about like he's their on fake it till you make it he's probably drawing them on with a sharpie anyway it was sort of like leading back with like an earring and I give me it under the table but he was shouting give it to me under the table but other kids, like, I swear that, are you from, are you from that TV and that? And I was like, yep, yep, from TV and them kids. And my daughter just hate him up flurry, pissing herself laughing.

And stuff like. What are you going to do if your daughter's become edgy? Well, ultimately I hope my children don't, you know, take drugs in McDonald's. That would be my... I think that would be an aspiration. I think an achievable one. That's something. Do you know what?

It's not a bad title for the episode? No, but also sort of like, what is, what is, why is that kind wasn't like that at my school I was sort of well behaved when I was a teenage but there was that kind of stuff going on yeah once though I was involved in the theft of red wine did I ever tell about this why are you I was a group with a group of kids as was leaving school and they they they stole one of them stole a drunk it in the woods and I had a sip to feel like crazy and edgy and then we got spotted by a teacher doing it and got put on report and I had to tell my mom and it was awful and I was on report for a week and stuff. I was very much like the accessory to the crime but I did swig on the old Vino but I was like normally the naughty kids, I found were the ones that were like, there was no one at home, whether the parents were working or they didn't really give a shit or it was a weird

combination where they're like, well I can just go home at 4 o'clock and be indoors, but it's more fun to mess around with my mates in McDonald's taking an hour and a half to eat some chips. Otherwise I'm just letting myself into a boring empty house, do you know what I mean? So it's like, just like, well, what do I do not go to work anymore now? Just like pick him up from school and lock them up until I'm 21. I just like, this is awful. And the way one of them was talking to his teenage girl was so sort of like, you know, like teenage boys can like try and show off and they're actually quite rude and they're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to. th. th. th. And, th. th. th. And, th. th. And, th. And, like, th. And, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like're like, it's that negging kind of thing like that. And I just felt like, if I'd walked in there by chance and my daughter was in there and he was talking to my daughter like that, I'd think I'd attack him and be pulled off and go to prison. That can't be how I'd go out.

Like, I've got, but hopefully my daughter won't be in the park. But if she is, I that's now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, that, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to just, well, it's just parks. I see him in the parks. I see him hang around shopping tenters. You know what, Rob, I think you live in the wrong place. You need to move into zone too. Oh yeah, well, I'd rather them, no, this is the difference, right? Don't wind or cry my gears. They were, I would rather live the drug running heroin. And do the the the parks, the parks, the parks, the parks, I the parks, I the parks, I the parks, I the rather live in the countryside and she does a little bit of aerosol than be drug-running heroin and doing county lines like your kids but yeah I was just like those teenage years at the school they are so crucial have I ever told you about when I stole a lemon drizzle cake they. Yeah god that is the most Joshua would have told you to the when did you still the time, God. That is the most Joshua would have been

a lemon drizzle cake. I'm 22 Rob. Why are you doing that? It was just, it was a rush of blood to their and I was in, I was in the US of A. Right, what was you doing over there? I could have been deported. Was this a family holiday or did you save that?

I'd gone away with my mates after, I did uni and there, I did a year at Waterstones and then I went away to America for six weeks before I went to London. Okay. And then I was in Boston in a 7-11, absolutely hammered with my friend. And we were getting food, because the the the their their their their their their, their, their, their, th. th. th. thi, th. thi, th. thi, th. th. thate, thate, thathea, thathea, that, th. I, that, th. I was, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I, that, that, I, I, I, that, I, th. I, th. I, t. I, t. I, tod, tod, tod, today, that, that, to, toe. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was toe. No. No. No. No. I was toe. No. No. I we were getting food because they don't have the same drinking culture. They don't really have the takeaways at 1 a.m. Yeah yeah it's not like the kebab or the chicken shopping but yeah. So you so we

ended up going into the 7-Eleven to microwave those pizza like those French bread pizzas. Yeah. You know when you buy something that, does that still happen that people buy stuff and then microwave it in the thing? I'd have that be, or if I work there, I'd just say the microwave broke and unplug it. Imagine me stood there and Josh Widenkin comes in shitface, putting on a Margarita French stick for 25 minutes because you don't know how to work it, just burn it up. So we bought the, we were stood by the microwave and you had to put your stuff down next to it and then put the thing in the microwave and we put our box on top of the lemon drizzle cake.

Yeah. And we were like, let's just pick up the lemon drizzle cake as well. You got away. I've never felt so so... I shouldn't say this wrong. Go ahead. Say it. I've never felt so alive. Did it sort of open up something inside of you when you wanted to do it more? My worry now is I know that your Kara Delavine story ended up in the Daily Mail and I'm slightly worried. Whitacom, I've never felt so alive after theavery of Lemon Drizzle Cake. I think that's a great headline.

Okay. Um, but you didn't do it again after that? Should I put some more quotes that they could pop in the story? Yeah, gone. I think about it every day and the buzz from? Any cake, any baked good. You were drunk and you regret it? I don't think you regret it. I think it's one of your calling cards.

I was so drunk. I'm proud of it. I think there's a lemon drizzle cake in America. I thought you were going to say you nicked it from a bakery in like tont-tonton, whoever it is where you live near. Chaff. Chuff-chuff. Huff-chuff.

Hate or veil. Right. Should we do some correspondence? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Let's find out what we got. Right, phonetics, kids saying things wrong. High sexy Relatables, love, love, love the podcast and the subject of children mispronouncing things. My then three-year-old daughter was in the very early stages of learning to read, so had been trying to encourage her with phonetics. She was sat with her dad looking through 100 things from the garden book and My other half read it out and she looked up at him and said, That's not an S daddy, it's a C. It says,

Cunterpede. Yeah. We couldn't help but laugh. And after a moment of looking offended, she proceeded to dance around the lounge, singing Cunterpede. Maybe Fnettix isn't the future after all. Karen being super sexy and relatable, Charlotte from Marriott.

Where's Marriott? I've to tell you what my, I'll have a look, my daughter's meditates, if I told you about this? No. She sort of sits and breath, which is really good. We try, we sort of, we sort of, we sort of, we sort of, we sort of, we sort of, we try, we try, we try, we try, we try, we try, we try, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, th, that, th, th, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th well like to calm down before bed yeah yeah kind of stuff and it's so it does sort of work and they sort of like take the Mickey and laugh or whatever but they are slowly sort of getting it and she does a try to humma and then I'm like oh I'm like well is this an actual thing she's been talking because it sounds legit like it could be some sort of chanting that that that that that that they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th are are are try so so so so so so so so try try try try try try try try try try th th they they they this an actual thing she's been taught at school? Because it sounds legit, like it could be some sort of chanting that they may do at school. I think they've done yoga in peer, whatever.

I was like, oh, that's weird. And then she sort of, as she's doing it, I can sort of see a half smile. and then she goes, pissy bum, pissy bum, and then she starts swearing under the guys of meditating, it's so funny, because I was like, blimie, she's really got into this, this is great, and she's gone, hmm, pissy bum, bum, bum, crack me up, when you see they're being a bit cheek and what they're trying to work it out, but, yeah, I'm gonna go in on this Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th's th's th's th'''''' is thi, thi, th''''''''''''''''y, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so th's th, so th, so th, so th, th, it's th, th, th, th bit cheek and what they're trying to work it out. But, yeah.

I'm going to go in on this, Rob, because it's been sitting in our dock for a long time. Yeah, go on. But it's titled, epic and extended but long parenting fail. Okay. Here we go. Hi, Josh and Rob. My name is Warik. And I live just outside of Camber. the the the almost two, I would drop my wife off to work on a Saturday morning and often would drive around for a while instead of heading straight home, because it meant my daughter would usually fall asleep for a nap. One morning in winter it was still quite cold, maybe two or three degrees. There's a mountain about a 20-minute drive which sometimes gets snow,

so I thought, by the time I got up there, it may have been cold enough to be snowing. I used to live in Brisbane and still find snow quite a novelty. So it seemed like a good way to spend some time. We got up the top. Sorry, so he thinks it's going to snow so he's driving up a mountain. Yeah. We got up the top without incident. Yeah. I'd say that's the setup for something. Yep. No incidents. Sadly it wasn't quite cold enough for snow, but it was drizzling a bit. So we turned back and headed down the mountain again. I see here where things took a turn. It was a bit of a windy road. My daughter must have gone a bit of motion sickness and threw up everywhere in the back seat

along the way. I pulled over and got her out the car, found spare clothes in the baby bag, did my best cleaning her up and the car seat up with the baby wipes. When this was done we strapped back in and off we went except we didn't. The car wouldn't start, no matter how many times I tried. Nothing. I pulled up my phone to call roadside assistance and of course there was no signal on the remote mountain road. It took a... Australia, it's not like snowed in the UK where there's always like there's no one. In certain bits of Australia, there's just... fuck all. It took a moment to think that that that that that that the only the only the only the only the only to do to do th. It was the only to do the only to do to do the only to do to do the only to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do the only the only to do to do to do to do to do to do to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their. their their their their their thoooooooo. I. too. told. to. to. to. to. Australia, there's just, fuck all. It took a moment to think and determined that the only thing to do was walk along the road hoping to either find signal or maybe someone's home I could ask for help.

No, it is mostly forest so this was unlikely. Fucking out. It was still cold, at least by now, and drizzling. With no idea when or where I might find signal, I couldn't leave my door in the car in the car. No, too right. I got the pram out, put the head over and tucked her in as best I could, started jogging along the road in the cold rain. After about five explained and asked if they had jumper cables, jump leads, I suppose, in the UK, to jumpstart the battery, but they didn't. They were headed up to the very modest tobogging field, which was up the top of the mountain. I gave them my details and customer number for the roadside assistance company. They headed up to the top and agreed toboggan down. Yeah. Getting a tobogger mate.

Exactly. I headed back to the car and we tried to keep warm. My wife was pregnant at a time with our second kid who was experiencing morning sickness. She had some lifesavers. A lolly that she had heard was supposed to help in the car door on her side. To help keep my daughter happy I gave one of those who had to suck on while we waited. After roughly 45 minutes, someone drove down and pulled up next to us. They were a staff member of the tobog-winning field. Apparently the other people had not gotten my details quite right and unbeknownst to me, our

roadside assistants had said they weren't coming to help. Thankfully the staff member had heard the story and against staff policy had decided to drive down with some jump cables to to to to to to to to to to the the cables to get us moving again. Finally back up on running and after many thanks we could continue our journey home. For the next 10 to 15 minutes. As I drove I thought to myself what a miserable experience it had been but at least it was over now. Suddenly the lolly my daughter had been sucking on but I had forgotten about during all the stress became lodged in her throat oh my god Josh. I don't know if I think I've ever pulled a car over faster in my life, reached over into the back of the car, literally had to stick my fingers down a throat and dislodge the lolly. Which I don't think is what they tell you

to do. Is it not? Because I think you can sometimes if you do that, push it down further but we don't know actually we do have a choking child but he did what he thought was right and he got this got it out. Thankfully this was the last excitement for the morning and we got home without any more drama bloody hell I'm still slightly scarred. Oh come back up to see the snow again I also now travel with jump cables keep up the good work Warwick Warwick Warwick. I found wean the worst part of having kids when like you're choking on stuff and I had a couple of experiences my kid choking and it is awful because oh horrendous but yeah moral story is don't go up a mountain when it's snowing

yeah don't go up a mountain snow yeah camera have you've been to camera have been to Cambron um there's not much going on it's like like it was built for like their capital city to have all their balloons. A bit like Washington DC. Yeah, so it's sort of, it's weird, it's sort of designed for cars and not walking. Well, yeah. As he found out, so if you get stuck anywhere, you're in trouble. Oh God. Jesus Christ. Do you want some harmless parenting revenge, Rob? Yes, and I've got some hacks for you.

Okay. Hi Rob Josh and Sexy Michael. I did something bad recently and it got me thinking. There must be similar scenario as other parents have experienced who wanted to share it with you. Perhaps it could turn into a regular topic on the podcast. All right, we'll fucking line it back in. All right, ma'am. Oh yeah. First bad thing you've done. Lizzie, th. L, th. L, th. Li. Li. Li. Li, th. Li, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to it out. Not the first bad thing you've done. Lizzie, this is on Leon C. Recently, I had one of those days with my kids where my patience was at his limit, and I'd like to think I'm a good parent where I don't shout or lose my temper. Patient and try to understand their misbehaviors. If they're playing up, I attempt to tackle any to to to tackle anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything with a calm and kind attitude. However, on this particular afternoon, my five-year-old daughter was giving me a level of patronizing backchat

that went on for a touch too long. She began rudely demanding some yogurt from the large, unopened pot I was holding. Knowing exactly what would happen, I tugged at the fore lid with the pot facing her. And as expected, the yogurt spurted out and landed splat in her face. Oh, that's horrible. Immediately I felt guilty, apologized profusely and lied about not knowing that it would happen

whilst I wipe the yogurt from her eyes. Am I alone in this tiny petty but ultimately harmless act of parenting revenge? Or have other parents done minor things knowing it would give them a tiny burst and also halt the child's naughty the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the taughte the taughteatheaughteatheaughteatheaughteathea tooe, toe, toeathea toe, toeckeckets. toeckets. toe. toe. toe. toe. I was. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt too things knowing it would give them a tiny burst of satisfaction and also halt the child's naughtiness in its tracks without causing them any real harm or distress. Love the podcast, Lily from Leoncy. Really enjoyed the panic caveats at the end. Yeah, obviously. Absolutely fine. No impact whatsoever. I don't know no impact on some other on the child. I think what Lizzie's done, is it Lizzy or is he? Yeah Lizzy, sorry. What Lizzy's done there is, she's tried to repackage the boomer parenting from the other point of view.

That, my friend, is a boomer story yet to be written by a child who will write that when they're about 20. Well, if you've got any where you are the boomer, please let us know. Let us know when you've been the boomer. When have you been the boomer? Because we've all lost our call. We've all lost our call. Yes, we've all lost our call. But might just ignore me when it comes to brushing their teeth. They just will not brush their teeth at the moment, Josh. I Do you brush your daughter's teeth or does she do it on her own? She does it herself. Sorry. I've had so little.

What are you doing tonight? Uh, nothing. I want to watch the Giordando documentary, but Rose doesn't think it'll be too bleak. Well, do you know what like the Lumiloo or the kids, he's got profiles, isn't it? Right, so about to, it comes up and at that point it's anyone could be watching it, right? Massive, I'm about to go on to my kids one, so they call it, massive advert, who killed Jill Dando, and a picture of Jill Dando needs to be on the adverts.

The adverts need to be like PG adverts, don't they? Until you go into the adult section. Not the adult section. Do Netflix have an adult section? I don't think they? Well, I think if they did do an hour and a half of pornography film, I don't think they'll need that. Still watching. New one in a... No one's watching back-to-back 90-minute pornoes. I just dropped the plug.

Um, right, hit me with your tips. Um, label hack. Hi, Rob and Josh. The little sticky labels that you can buy to name clothes with. I've ordered some that have both my husbands and my mobile numbers on. I've stuck these in every pair of shoes that the kids own. We've taught the boys if they were to ever get separated from us to find a mummy with children or someone who works wherever they are lost. And get them to ring the numbers in their shoes. That is good, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thin, thin, tho, tho. And, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And, they. And, tho. And, tho. And, th the numbers in their shoes. That is good and clever. That is good, isn't it? We hoped we'd never need to actually test this out, but a few months after getting the stickers,

a turn of events while my husband was taking our youngest to his swimming lessons managed to get separated from our eldest. He was dealing with an enormous shit that the youngest and that made it to the tomter in tomter in tomter in tomter in tomter in tomter in tomilet tomilet tom later later later frantic few minutes running around, he couldn't find our eldest. Our five-rod was already at reception desk of the Leisure Center, holding up the numbers in his shoe to the very confused receptionist who was already bringing my number. All reunited safely within a couple of minutes for the cost of a few quid or some of those super sticky clothes labels was well worth it. Hopefully

We'll never need to use it again but at least we know it's there. Thanks Jenny. Well maybe you could put the grandparents number in there and then they could look after them for the afternoon once have been lost. Exactly. Perfect. Or you could just put up a number of someone that you But that is good idea, isn't it? It is scary, isn't it? I mean, it happens quite often, doesn't it, that moment, when you go, where the fuck are they? Oh, I had that when I took

my niece and nephew to Harrod, like to walk around Harrods and look at Harrods when they were like probably like 10 and eight and I turned around there wasn't one, one one had gone. Oh, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, th. I was, I was, that, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I was, tho, tho, that, I was, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' tha'er, tha'a'er's th Oh God, oh so busy and it was like and I was only young so they're probably about it was probably I was like 25 or something and it was like God. Because you have that thing where the whole scenario plays out in your head. Yeah and I know it's awful but the other day when I was picking the girls up from school I had to I had one of the girls to the girl to the girl we were bringing a tothey were playing and I had to go get the eldest from another door because she was coming out a different door for some reason. So I said, hey, you two come with me and we'll make it look like lose lozoste. So I went off and got her and I came back and also as well losing your own kids bad but losing

someone else's on top of that. That is the absolute worst. But actually, I did that and then afterwards I thought that was quite bad. I regret that. That's a bit unfair on the lose. Seems like you're the one doing the boom of parenting, Rob. Exactly. Me and Lizzie are. I had to revenge. But that was on an adult, not a child. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Funny thing that a kid's brought into school. Hi,

Rob and Josh, I recently listened to a story on your podcast and it reminded me of something that happened to my friend's friend. Her son was seven at the time. He was in a class with a little boy who wore a hearing aid. The teacher explained to the class why the little boy needed the hearing aid and it must have struck a cord with my friend's son. Because the next day he turned up with something rubbery wrapped around his ear. He said he didn't want the little boy to feel like he was different. Aw. So he found something similar at home to wear in solidarity. Sweet and harm were right except the thing he found at home was a cock ring. He had obviously seen it in my friend's drawer remembered it when thinking of something he could wear on his ear. The teacher had to take...

Oh my god, that is this awful. The teacher had to take it off him and give it back to my friend at the end of the day. Oh my god. Must have felt embarrassed. Thanks for laugh. Really loving binging on the podcast, anonymous, understandably. Let's break this down. Yeah. You're at the school gates. Yeah, you're off thinking, I can't see my cockroom for a bit. But it's not really at your forefront of your mind, but like, you said, well, yeah, I don't know where that's got to. Anyway, um, teacher comes up. How are you delivering that news as a teacher? Email first? I don't think you're referencing what it is. So the whole conversation is going on

without mention of what the item is. So you'd have to take it off the child, okay? So as a teacher, you'd have to go, oh, can I have to, oh, but it's a hearing, the he he he he he he, the he, the he, the he, the hear, the hear, the the the the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, the whole, th. th. th. th. th. thi, so, so, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th.. th... th... th. th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. tho. tho. tho. that, tho. tho. thoo. tho. tho. tho. thoo. the. tho. tho. tho. I want to be like my friend. I went, yeah, I know, but it's a bit dangerous because it isn't actually designed for you, it's a time for your cock. I'll have to say- That's been on your dad's dick. Right, so you need to take off the child, but you don't want to touk to touk. Yeah. Yeah, because I don't really know what a cock ring looks like. I'm sure you can get, I'm sure I can have a guess, aren't you? I know, but where I'd see it out of context on a child's ear, I don't think I'd immediately

go, that's a cock ring. Or when you saw it in context on a child's ear. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think I would know. Would you go, that's definitely a cock ring from the off? Probably not immediately because I wouldn't expect to see one on a child's ear but as soon as I went I'll give us that and I've got it in my hand I'm like that is a cock ring. Yeah yeah so it's like a cock ring is sort of just like it's almost looks like a harry by ring but bigger. Yeah yeah obviously and then at the top of it there's a little part that sort of vibrates. Right that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th is th th is th is the th is th is th is th is the th is th is th is the th is th is the the thor thor thor thorough the the the thor thor thor thor thor thor thor thor the the the the the the the the the thor th th is sort th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's the that's the that would either vibrate on your balls or it would vibrate on the clitoris. Okay.

You know, you never used a cockroom before, Josh? I've never used a cot ring before. You need to, I tell you what? Do you know what I was going to buy for you the other day? I thought it would be funny. Don't buy a coat ring. No, but I was going to buy you and, um, Rosa, is it's a love, the like, they're like an Ansummers, but they do like sex words. I was going to get you a love honey advent calendar. Don't, please don't. So basically each day you get something to spice up your love life, Josh.

Well, my love life spicy enough. Is it? It's just spicy. How's it? How do you know? I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I? th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thii. to to thi. th. thi. thi. th. th. don't know. I just presumed. Well I'm just saying that it can always be spicier. That's a thing with spice, can't it? Yeah. Yeah. There's no limits, you know. But yeah, so as a teacher, for me, I'm taking the cock ring and I'm popping it in a little envelope. Yeah. Ceiling it. Oh. Writing. Mr. Widdickem. Mr. Widdicam. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. the the the the the that. Widdick. Widdick is. Widdicom. Wi. Wi. Wi. Wi. Wi. Wi. Wi. Wi. Wi. Wi. Wi. Wi. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It is. It is. It is. It is. It. Itiddicam I'm writing on that for you if it's your cock ring and your child that had it on their ear. Mr. Mrs. Widdicam. Mr. Mr. Mr. Widdickham atal. Yeah. Dear parents and I'd have to do an email going hi your daughter came into school today she had a sort of weird ring

thing on her ear pretending it was a hearing aid, and it kept on falling off, so I've popped it in an envelope and put it in a bag. Yeah. I think that's, you don't want to be walking through like that. Yes, enjoy your evening. Have a great evening. But yeah, so I don't know.

Well, maybe you might get, someone might you a cock ring now. I don't want them to. Please send Josh a cock ring if anyone that makes cookings. I'm quite happy with my fizzy water tap. Thank you very much. You're gonna get a fizzy water tap? Well we're getting the kitchen done next year. Oh yeah of course. Have you got your kettle yet? No, haven't got around to it. I've been away. To use my the kettle to hold the button down down? to to to to to to to to the the to the kettle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I that. I that. I that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm thi. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. tapy. tapy. tapy. tapy. tapy. tapy. tapy. tapy. tapy. tapy phone as a counterweight on the button to hold the button down to bore the kettle. Yeah, is that dangerous? I don't know how. But it might be.

Yeah, might be. Right, should you do a small business shout out? Small business shout out. Okay, here we go. Duh. Right. Hello, I'm hoping my business Seven Oaks Baby Massage can be included on your small business shout out. I'm taking the plunge and relaunching my IAIM accredited Baby Massage Classes.

Being a mom of three young children, I know the value that connecting with other new parents can bring to those tough early days and learning the skill of baby massage can massively benefit both parent and baby in so many ways. All my info can be found at W.W.W.W.W.7Oaks Baby Massage.com at Seven Oaks Baby Massage on Instagram and Facebook. Thank you so much for your time. Your podcast have been a real lifeline for me and I absolutely love them. Lorraine Ridley. There you go. Pop down to Seven Oaks and massage your bibbies. Absolutely love the show and I've recommended you to all my friends and family with children who now share my love for the podcast. We also came to watch you in Cardiff in April.

Could you please give my small business a shoutout? I set up the CV lab as a side hustle and now run the business alongside parenting my two and four year old children. I write professional CVs and cover letters as well as support people with career and interview coaching. I've seen thousands of CVs and with some expert tips and tricks. It's amazing what a difference can make in landing your dream job. I'd love to offer your listeners 15% off with the code parenting hell. Website, W.W.W.W.W.W. The CV lab. tho. Thank you. Emily. Josh. I'll will. I I I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.................................................................................................................................... you so much. Emily, very useful that one. Good stuff. Thanks Emily. Josh, I'll see you Friday. For Jess Ennis Hill. Dame Jessica Ennis Hill. We've just done it and she's absolutely amazing. She's brilliant. So enjoy. We'll see you Friday and then back next Tuesday,

as ever. Bye. See you later guys. Bye.