Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S7 EP28: Tom Skinner

Episode Date: October 27, 2023

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the businessman and TV personality - Tom Skinner. Tom's new book 'Graft: How To Smash Life' is available now. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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I like that, Josh. Very happy, very cute. One of the daughters obviously is the happiest time. Summer aged 28 months. Is it the happiest time? And Harper, nine months, introducing the show. Mum Amy is originally from Warrington, but we now all reside in Dad's James's hometown of Maidenhead. Maidenhead has a tour venue I'm sure you... Yeah and Warrington.

Sure you've done Maidenhead, Northern Farm in Maidenhead back in the day Robbys. Our kids are just 18 months apart and it's been hard work and we're so looking forward to the golden age when we can enjoy our holidays again when they are six as the Rob always says. No four. Four. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are so so they are so they are so the the the the the th. th. th. th th their their their so their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their toy. toy. toy. tou. tour. tour. tour. tour. tour. tour. tour. tour. tour. tour. tour. No four. I've just took two years off at that Josh it's four. Oh I think from four is when holidays you enjoy them and get a bit of rest and it's not so much graft so it's not six don't panic. You're not far off. Thanks for the laughs and relatability you once got us through a road trip to Switzerland when our oldest was four months old. What a mistake that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho-I tho-I's tho-I's tho-I's tho-I's tho-I's tho-I's tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I thi is thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thin, I'm tho' tho' tho'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n' thin, I'm thin, was. That would have been COVID. Yeah, that is brutal, isn't it? Do you like summer, Rob? Rank the seasons, please? For me, spring, top one. Right in there, right up your ass.

Spring and autumn are my favorite, because they're the transitional ones. They're full of excitement. Yes, it goes, spring, autumn, summer, winter, that's... No. No, no. the summer, the summer, the summer, the summer, the summer, the the summer, the the th. th. th. that, th. that, that, th. that, that, th. th. that, the th. th. that, the th. th. the th. the the the ss, the ss, the ss, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the throomeat thru. the thru the thru the throoooma ss season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season,, winter, summer. Really, winter over summer? That's no, no, because of Christmas. I love Christmas, Rob. Autumn's the best because the nights are drawing in and that Christmas is coming. Wait, sorry, are we watching strictly? Christmas must be coming. Oh, I'm a celebrity! Yeah. Magic Christmas on, here we go. Lovely. You know what, I think you might maybe switch summer and winter round. Josh. You're all right. Yeah. Rose has just spoken to some BT engineers in the street and they've said it's their fault the internet is down and they're sorting it. Oh, okay, yes.

You've had issues for a week now. Luckily they're getting sorted, Josh. Exactly. Have I won you around tho the the th. You th. You haven't, you haven't, you haven't, you haven't, you haven't, you haven't, you haven't, you haven't, you haven't, you haven't, you haven't, you haven't, you haven't, you haven't, you've had issues for a week now. Luckily they're getting sorted, Josh. Exactly. Have I won you around to autumn then? No, actually, no, you haven't. Because winter isn't I'm a celebrity in Christmas. That's autumn still. Winter's January. Do you know what? There's something about January I do like, Rob.

Which is, I like that feeling of, oh God, I'm going to eat a vegetable and I'm going to go to the gym and I'm going to start that project that I want to, like, I like the feeling of renewal in January. Hate that, I hate, just hate that, I hate that the most. I hate New Year's resolutions. Little rats like you, oh, from the first, tell you what, give your own ass a slap and do it now. It's November, fucking crack on with it. Do that project now. What's a number? If you have to wait till then, it'll never get done. If you really want to do it, you'll start today.

That's what I say, Josh. So winter's fucked off. Winter's gone. It goes spring, autumn, summer, winter, January. I think summer's too hot these days. Yeah, I don't know about that as much. I wouldn't say the British summer is too hot for me. It's too hot for me. Everything's too hot for you.

Even ear covering headphones are too hot for you. I know. That's why I've gone winter over summer. I'm not made for heat. I've never seen you in a jumper. I've never seen you in a thinin and thin jacket or t-shirt and big coat. I've never seen you in a jump... Or I'd wear a sweatshirt. Yeah even that it's a thinner one. I'd never seen you in a thick knitted jumping like a fisherman. I cannot wear a knit. The X-Mah? Well I don't have X-Mah? Don't you? You sure? You're sure? H-ha-ha-ha-ha-a! that's a- that? that. You're that? that. You're that? that? You're th. th. th. th-I-I- that. that. that. that. th-I-I-I. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. thi. th-a. th-a. th-a. thin. th. th. th-a. thin. that's that's th-a. th-a. th- asthma, that's the way. I knew Adam-uh.

I can't wear a knit. It just makes me too hot. It just makes me too hot. Well, just a couple of hot, bloodied young guys, mate, out on the prow. I can only go clothes shopping in the summer when I'm wearing a shorts and t-shirt. And swimming, I can't bear it. All the jumpers, all the layers I get, it's, it, it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm not that, I'm not a thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th, I'm th. Yeah, I'm th. Yeah, I'm wearing a shorts and t-shirt and swimming I can't bear it all the jumpers all the layers I get oh it's horrible not a fan of it going into a shop in a coat fucking up. Going into a shop with a coat that is such a simple thing but it's horror over your arm then your forearm sweaty. Oh my god awful awful stuff and then you're carrying stuff and then all of a sudden you're dripping with sweat because it's all lot inside and you've got your big coat on but you're trying to do a shop.

Oh it's horrible. Oh fuck that. I do think the chillers have got colder though in supermarkets since I used to work in. Do you? Yeah, I'll get cold in them now. When I worked in safe way way in safe in safe in safe? I did Sange Briss and Marks and Spencer. Oh, it's slightly more up market than Safeway. Yeah, I was just like the greasy pole up to the top of the old Eminus. Because is this just a Safeway terminology? So they'd have freezer section, fridge section.

And then they have fruit and vegge and thrash. And then they they they they then you could always do the mushroom joke. Not mushroom for these on the shelf. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to sort of stand up do that to very little. What in a gear, that's a dad joking at work. You had to do it at work. I once saw a stand up. He brought me on Rob.

He did 10 minutes of puns about meeting his wife in the vegetable aisle which was I thought there's not mushroom here I don't know what the other ones were she was the apple of my eye she was apple of my eye oh that's a lot nice of yeah yeah yeah she had a lovely pair yeah oh bit blue she shoved the cool jet up my ass stuff like that exactly he walked on you know a compas men a do crowd work he he walked on and walked straight to the mic just did 10 minutes of thrown the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their you their you their you th I I I th I th I th I th I tho. I tho. I was th. I was I was just just just just just just I was th. I was just just I was I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was I was I was I was I was I I was I was I was I I I I I I I I I I I I I was I I I I I I I I I I I I I was I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I was I was I was I was I was I was th. I was th. I was th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. te. th. te. ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttoye. I'm th. I'm th.the mic, just did 10 minutes of these puns and brought me on, and I didn't know what to do with myself. I got brought on a corporate, and it was for a lot of old geysers that love rugby, and there was a rugby player, really tall one.

Oh, I followed him. Oh, I followed him. Oh, he's so good. He's impossible to follow. He's. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. He's. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. field? Martin Bayfield, that's it, Big Up Bayfield. Great, if you had an ex-rugby pro as a after-dinner speaker, he's great. I'd say bit blue, there's a lot of stuff about Cox in the changing room, all good stuff, but he's so big, he's so alpha, does really sort of blue stuff and stories from rugby days and it's quite lady. And also also also Harry Potter so he sprincaze out he brought me on and I died hard. I died he's unfolvable because he shakes your hand it looks like he's introduced a child. He's six foot ten he's a foot and a half tall than you. I know and he's done all those jokes.

Oh man I died and do you know what Darren Goff the England bowler was in the second row and I could see him willing me on desperately hoping it would get better for me but in reality we both knew where it was going. Yeah two people I've died after the worst are corporate Martin Bayfield and her William Haye. Fucking unfollowable William Hague. Well that's difficult because you've impossible to follow Bayfield because you're so different to him, but with William Hague you're so similar to him. Again, it's almost impossible to follow in a different way. Bayfield!

Oh, we should have a Bayfield Survivor's group. All the other comedians that line with his views than they were with mine. Let's put it that way. I can imagine. He was an excellent booking for the audience and I was probably a missbooking. That's the way I'd view it. I need to find what Martin Bayfield finishes on. I think. that it is is is is is is is is that it is that it is that it is that it is that is that is that is that is that is about it is about that is about the that is about that that's to to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to find their their their their their their their to find to find to find to find to find to find to find that's that that that that that that's that's that that's that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their that that that their that their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. that that that that thi. I's got to be about Will Carling's Dick or something, isn't it? But he's an excellent ad at it, Bayfield. Yeah, you can see.

There's a little clip of him on Prime Performers, look, if you want to book him. Anyway, the episode today, we have got Tom Skinner on the show today. He's from his new book called Graft all about his life and he's a very interesting character larger than life, very funny man. Also he's got two baby twins and like a three or four year old boy which we discuss so he's up early, he's busy and we chat about life and kids. Enjoy our loyal listeners. What we haven't got a name for the Parenting Hell, listeners, have we?

No, we haven't, have we? Like the Lids. The Lids, so yeah, have a word podcast, call their listeners the Lid. Off-men you people, I don't know what they call this, the hungry bastards. Right, well, sending suggestions of what we can call our listeners. Tom Skinner, welcome to Parenting Elk, very excited to have you. I'm buzzing to beer, thanks for having me.

It's exciting. Josh, have you met Tom? No, but obviously I'm a fan from the moment I saw him and thought he's like you. We get a lot of people saying that we're the same. You made your name on the apprentice nationally, locally, through other means. It was the apprentice and then obviously you got more famous I think through your breakfasts. Just going Dino's Care. Talk me through your breakfast Tom. Yeah so talk us through how you got so big on Tick Tock because that sort of pushed you on into getting a book deal really isn't it as well. So basically like numerous things markets

still sell furniture, I got a boxing gym, but we always start work at like 3, 4 in the morning if we're going to wear house, we're going to a market, we're going to load up. And there's a calf called Dino's Calf, right, in the new Spittlefield Market in late and in East London. And we go in there with the boys and we get a nice big bit of breakfast. And it just sort of happened last year. I've always given a little, their their their th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, they, they, th. And, they, they, they, they, they, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're going, we're going, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're going, we're going, we're going, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, we're going, we're going, we're going, we're going, we're come and that's what today we're going to go out and give it under the 10% we're not messing about, we ain't going until we're proud, we're going to own loads of readies. And then my mate was like we should film this and we just film this and we just filmed it, we always have like lasagna, their lasagna, it's like, ma'a'a, it, it, it, it, it, to, to, to, to, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, to.. We're, we're, we're not, to. We're, we're, we're not, we're not, we're not, we're not, we're, we're, we're, we was a proper bit of grub and we just filmed it, stuck it on the internet because it was like, people might like, listen to this. I've done it and it sort of went viral straight away. And then I thought I'd do it again and I think because I'm in there every day.

She didn't really make no odds to me. People were just like, this case is waking up. down like 70 roast potatoes before 30 in the morning. It's inspiring tock. I think that's your charm that sort of won you so many fans on the apprentices like your books called Graft you work really hard and you've got a busy home life now so you got three kids. Three kids make nightmare. So and what age is so Henry is coming up to three in November start of November and the twins are four months old. Oh my word. Yeah twin girls. What was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So one one so one so one so one so one so one so one so one so one so one so one so one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one th. So he th. So he th. So he th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, and the twins are four months old. Oh my word. Yeah, twin girls. What was the moment like when they said at the scan, this is twins? Mate, do you know what happened?

Right, you couldn't make this up, so I've got a third. So I've got a third, so I'm not like Mystic Meg, but I was like, no, you said you've got third. Most people have got five. Oh well I've only got three. You got an extra sense is what you said. I'm a cut of the senses behind. One of them is you can tell the twins are coming. That's it, yeah, I'm saving up for the rest. So we've gone to the hospital and Jana's land on this big sort of like chair thing and the nurse has started rubbing jelly into her belly and all of a sudden there's a big screen in front of her so I can see clear as day there are two babies on that screen. I can see it.

Oh my God. The nurse goes to my wife and she goes, oh my God, we've got one healthy heartbeat and we've got two healthy heartbeats and my wife, she named Bess I went, is it normal for the baby to have two heartbeats? I've looked at her and I've gone, you what? You're having twins, babe. I imagine you've always wanted quite a big family, Tom. Honestly, it's the best thing that's ever happened. I love my kids, like, it's great, you know what I'm gonna love getting home from work and little Emory just show me he's poo in the party.

It's fantastic, you know, like, yeah. What a welcome home. Daddy, look, I've done poo-poo present? No. What time do you get them normally anyway? If I ain't working about five or six, I don't really sleep that well, like last night I've basically I'll call, been a worker week, I had to get my little boy from nursery on Friday because he had a little tummy bug and he's being sick and so yesterday, I was all night to sit. I've had not a great night seat today but it's good because I've got a day off so I'm doing these bits and pieces reviews. Right so this is a day off to you. I'd say Tom you do better with less sleep than Josh. Yeah I'm not ideal for it. So what time do you go to bed? Probably about 10, 10 o'clock-ish ten-o'clothed? Probably about about 10. A th-a-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3. th-3. th-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I's-I's-I's-I-I-I's th. th. th-I's-I-I's-I-I-I-I's-I-I-I-I's is thiii-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-t-tode-tode-todddd-todd-todd-todd-todd-s-s-s-s-skkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkiiii-I-I-I-free. Fucking out. So having kids didn't affect you in terms of a sleep thing at all.

I'll be fair, I've always been a really light sleep. I mean last night obviously it was terrible. I've hardly any sleep. But it doesn't really affect me, like if the babies wake up if everybody wakes up, I'm sort of awake anyway, so. And how hands-on are you, thrown too? and up early and out the door. You came on 8 out of 10 cats the other day up in Manchester, you're doing this, you'll do a big book promo tour, I imagine, and stuff like that. So you are super busy because you almost still got your day job

and then also this sort of like TV internet personality job. Yeah, I'm just really greedy. Yeah, I'm just extremely greedy. I want anything. So, shanade that that that that that that th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th th th the th the th the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I th. I th. I thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. So, th. So, the the the the the the the the thi. You thi. You thi. You are thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. thi. thi. too too too thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So,? What's your, is Shannade doing the majority of it and you're doing bits when you can, or do you try and do more when you're at home? Do you split it? So, Shanaid is the governor. My honestly, like, let's be honest,

like if it's like a nappy changing ratio, she's on like 98% like, like she's like, like I mean, like, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, take the twins out. I'm hands on when I'm indoors, but nappies and that, I'm not the best that. You know what I mean? I do bottle time, I might be doing that. Yeah, I do feed in time, I do all the other bits and pieces. When the nappie comes, no, thank you.

Really? What's your problem with that kind of, that poo and we and stuff. I mean we're putting up and deal, it's the poohs like, I mean we're potty trying to remember at the minute and what I've had to do is buy a little tube of o'wills cars. You get 10 cars in a tube. Yeah. And I've said every time you go in at pot you and you and do you and do you and do you and that pot you and that pot you can that pot you can't that pot you can that pot you can that pot you can that pot you can that pot you can't that pot you can that pot you and do a poo, you can take out a little car and play with it, yeah? So obviously now I've got about 400 op-wheel cars around you. But now he's just making him up. He's like, Daddy, look, poo, I'm like, there's nothing in there.

Carpenter's? So do you do the wee na poo? You should work on news night. Has it always been a bit of that kind of stuff makes you a bit gag there? Mate, you know what it's like, especially when they come out like run of your greenies, and they're all up their back and they stink. It's the worst thing ever. They are brutal to be fair. Are your kids already, can you see that they've got your kind of big personality? Is Henry... Is your little shit? Yes. Yeah.

Chip off the old block. He's already trying to do a deal on Hot Wheels cars. That feels... He's on the driveway now, flagging down cars. See you've got some bits for self. I mean, the twins are just baby still but you're just starting to to beautiful see him laughing all that I'm loving that and they're just starting to rock a little bit now and Henry's just a little character like he's just it just makes me die like the things he comes out of yesterday was going daddy daddy there's this toy the dog goes like this and I was going oh yeah he's going you do this I was going to this I'm I'll do this like I don't know when my my my my my my my th so my the th so th the th the th th the th th my my my my my my my my my th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho to to to th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thus thus thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi's thi. I's th I'm not going back to university to be your friend.

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you're still sort of doing long like 12-hour shifts, or is it all nonsense on social media? Or are you actually out doing that? Honestly, it really is like, I just love grafting. I just done it, all to them, the young kid. The markets I've th I've th I've th I've th I've th I've th I've still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still I've th. I've th. I've still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still the th. I've th. I've still I've th. I've still still th. I've still still th, I've still th, I've still still th, I've still still still still still still still still still still still still still still the the the th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi hands I don't do them anywhere near is what I used to do ten years ago, I used to do them every single day, but we do the odd one or two here and there. And it's great to go out there, see what the markets like. It's great to support local businesses. It's great to give people a deal because I still get things. I still get to the markets. The markets have sort of not be the markets have not the markets have not the markets have not the markets have not the market. the market. the market. the market. th. th. the market. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to tho to to their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the one the odd one one the odd one the odd one the odd one the odd one the odd one the odd one the odd one the odd one the odd one the odd one the odd one their their their their their their their one. their one. their tho. tho. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. to to one. to to one. to to to to one. one. to one. tho o' one. one. And obviously when we've got a quiet day of our businesses, it keeps me staff in works and other days wages, do you know what I mean? There's another thing to do. So if we've got a dead week and we've got a bit of stockland and I said, come let's go

and do a market on Thursday. All going to make a few hundred quid-aix-eachie, a bit of beer, a bit of beer. What's the secret of being good salesmentha-oes, I, I, I, to, I, to, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, is, and, is, and, is, and, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is a, is a, is a, is a their, and, and, is a to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, is. And, and, and, is a, and, is a, is a thi. thi, is a, is a, is a thi, is a thi, is a thi, is a thi, and, and, is a thi, and, and, I.a, I.a, I.a, thi.a, thi.a, thi.a, tha.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a, soa, soa, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, soa, th really struggling to shift my copy of Prince Harry's spare. It was a fucking nightmare. Should you leave people or should you be approaching them? Do you know what I mean? Like if I go up to someone's stolen they're all over me it puts me off. I've always been a great believer of make people like you, make people laugh and they'll they'll try to their wife and you know like a pushy one book like stick it up, you look at it that, I think let people crack on, make them smile, make them trust, you make them laugh, and once someone likes you,

you make them fool enough and you can say them anything. You sound like a cult leader now. You know like a lot on Netflix. So Tom, we're from like your parents generation and what things you think now? Now do you know what actually that was a little bit too old school a little bit too full-on I want to go down a bit more of a more gentler route. Like what's your sort of plans you've got there are young still you got sort of like yeah Yeah, exactly for me, but I remember like things I used to love to love their their their their their their their their their their their their they their they they they to love to love to love to love to love to love to love to love to love to love. to love. to love. to love. I they'll to tho tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too too too too too too too to to too to to to to to too to to to to to to to th... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I to to the. I too too too too too too too too too too too too too too to too too too too too too too too too too too too terrible. I actually love going to the pub with my dad. They'll go away, go over to cost cutters and get us a box of fags. Back then fags were like four quid.

And they'll give me a ten of them, they go, get them, but I've got to keep the change. And then we walk over and I know their together. good value manners obviously very important, being polite and hard work. Look hard work has made me successful just from working hard and getting on with it so I'd just like to instill that into them. My mom and dad always made me graft, I'd like paper rounds at 1213. You just got to go out there and give it a go and I think that's what I want to push into them. Take him and your daughter to work on the market when they're older like if you push someone in there out there in a big bad world like if I hadn't had done the markets from a young age I wouldn't be doing things that I'm doing that standing front of a hundred people talking and because I wouldn't have the confidence and it's built me up

up to be like that first day when you're to their to kid. You set up stools, especially in the winter, and your hands were like, these metal setups and your hands are freezing, you know what I mean? You have fingerless gloves try and get them in. And I remember they go, like, do you want to come back, put it down later on and you go, yeah, go and I did doing them on my own, my dad was selling like a load of handbags. So was he market trader as well?

Yeah, but it stopped doing the market start probably 20 years ago, yeah. And he had like a women's like little boutique, he said, like, just like, a little bout. He was like, things like that. But it was just off the market and he went, I got a few hundred bags that all the zips are broke. Do you want them for a pound each? I mean you're going in, but there's all broken bags. And I remember going to go and the market and I was sitting in the night before fixing

them up and all that. I love it to do it. Yeah you did some store stuff didn't you Rob. I used to work at a Columbia Road flower market. Yeah brilliant market. Yeah my brother's mate had a shop there but then I was selling compost at the front of it on a little stool. And were you good at it? I was all right at it but I was so tired I was only 14 so I wasn't as confident as I am now kind. And I remember getting picked up like 3 4 a 4 a.m. I am 4 a 4 a 4 a 4 a 4 a 4 a 4 a 4 a 4 a 4 a 4 a 4 a 4 a. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. I was. th. th. th. I was. the. I was. th. I was. the. I was. I was. remember is how easy it is to drive through London. You just, yeah, no traffic. No traffic. That was the best part. I'm going, look at end. It's like 28 days later in the morning. Tom, were you there for the births? How are the birth of Henry and then the twins? Do you know the story about the twins? No I don't. I want to to want the the to want to want to want to to to to to to to the to to to to their to to their to their their their their to their their their their try now. I want try now. I want that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their train. I their their tria. I their the best. I the best. I was the best. I'm that's that's that's that's that's that's tria. I that's t's epic so I'm sweating a little bit under the weather sorry if you need to go and be sick or shit yourself yeah yeah I've got a buck here don't have a shit and then be sick because you've seen some shit but that's another option I'll send a little hotwill to you for doing a

good job thank you so that the tw happened, so it was like five, six days before Prague, yeah. Was that when Westdown went and won the Europa conference? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this has been booked up since January, so we didn't know if we're gonna get that far, but the plan was if West Dam, we're gonna go to America, What do you mean by manage the team? So I was managing the West Dam Legends team. So it was like all our best players from like 10, 15 years ago.

We had Mattie Jarvis, Marlon Harewood, Anton Ferdinand, Elliot Wald, like some brilliant, brilliant players. Jimmy Walker, and it was fucking sick. But it's like your dream as a West Ham fan to all these people. Yeah, so it was like these were like the players the players the players the players the players the players the players the players the players the players players players the players players players players players players players the players players players players players the players players players players. that I've watched growing up and I absolutely love. Where in America was you? North Carolina. Oh, so what a gig you're getting paid to go over there, all social media stuff with a club. Insane. Dortmund was out there, wolves was out there.

Insane, it was a seven-side tournament and they've asked me to manage them. So basically I've gone to Schne we go. The babies weren't due until the start of July. Okay, and when's this? When are you out there? Well, it's the first of June, basically. It's right the start of June. Like a month before the babies are June. A month before, and obviously Prague was on the, what was it?

Sixth? Anyway, it was five can't turn this down. And also, it is a month until they're due. So I'm all happy. I've rung Shnais, sister, she's moved in around my house. I'm going for five days. Now, I've never been to America for my life. I've never been there there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was thin. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th th th th th th thin. that to th th to the to the to to to th to to th th thi. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th thin. And, I was th th th to to to me th to toeean. And, I was toean. And, I's toean. And, I was the to the th th thean. And, th th th got on the plane and because it was all booked at a bit last minute, all the players have thought it all over the plane. I've ended up sitting next to two America's lovely couple, proper Americans, like legends. They was cracking me up. We had the best flight ever. They was talking about they've been over to London, they

tried fish and chips and I was like never been at never been at America a couple. They must have thought you was like some sort of caricature version of a London, like a paid character. Yeah, like we've talked about copy, you're rhyming and all sorts like, brilliant, like, we got there, as we've got to the gate, everyone's gone through and there's just literally the biggest security guard and he's two coppers with guns room and I was like, oh no. And then I sat there and all the team obviously couldn't wait, I've gone back to the hotels, I was in there for a cut of hours. Basically, I didn't declare that from many years ago I had a couple of little criminal records. Nothing bad, yeah.

Yeah. I felt a little criminal records as senses. Just a couple of little petty stuff. Petty stuff that I'd done when I was a child. Yeah. Anyway, so because I didn't declare it, they was like we're going to send you back. And I literally sat there pleading with these American police officers and these border control people talking. I was like, I'm managing West Ham. Yeah. Elliot Ward. Elliot Ward. You must have heard of Elliot Ward. Come on. he's not tell now. Anton Ferdinand, Rio's brother. On Airwood. The guy had pulled up like all bits about me on Google. Yeah.

And he was like, I'm reading your social media boy. Do you like drugs? I was like, I'm made a mannagre. He's like, theyme, things get passed around. Do you like drugs? I was like, mate, I swear to you, I don't like drugs. Like, I'm just, what from someone eating a lasagna at 3 a.m. makes you think, I don't make it. Exactly.

But anyway, finally, we've got into the country. Like, they've let me off because it's bringing people to the town of Rayleigh and it's going to be good for the community. So I'm like happy days. So I'm now somewhere I got into America, got to the hotel, then we've had a bit of dinner. Next day we're doing a training day. So I'm walking about a big American flag. I'm on ESPN. I'm giving it a boss to everyone. Tom Skinner in America taken over. It's best out of my life. Because I've never been in America. I want to go to a diner, I want

to do this. You might not be invited back. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, the third day, this is the day of our first game. We've got two games lined up. I'm ready. What's your manager's kit? Just to... Oh, it's like the West Down one, all the zip up, the bet, wait, he's just the governor. What all the players are wearing? Yeah, yeah, basically. Yeah, full kit. In my element. Like, I couldn't sleep. I'm writing all the things down. But inside my belly, I had thrown, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, all, all, all, the, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all. the, all. the, all, all. the, all. the, all. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the..... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.'s about one o'clock and it's nice in the morning in America.

You know, what's your planning station when I've got to go to the hospital about lunchtime or whenever it was because we've got to just check up and they've got a book in the date for the Zazarium because their twins has to come out as a Zazarium. Yeah. So I've gone oh fantastic oh oh oh oh oh oh oh fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic. Got ready, gone downstairs, thought nothing of it, had a bit of breakfast, chat with seven hinds, had a bacon roll with him on seven hinds. Oh, no. No, he don't know, he said, don't worry. I thought it was a sauce. Legend, legend.

Legend, I said, well, a legend. Had a bacon, I said, well, their You okay? I said, well, calm down, calm down. She went, I'm in the hospital with a doctor. I said, put the doctor on. She's passed the phone to the doctor and the doctor said, look, basically, Tom, he's not great news. Twin B, the small of two, like, it's basically in a bad. the bad. the bad. the bad. the bad. the bad. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thathe. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. She, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She, she. She's, she. She's, she's, th. She's, th. She's, where, th. She's, where, where, where, th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th thr. She went, where, where, we've got a very, very high risk going to lose her, potentially if it goes wrong, lose your wife. Oh my fucking God. I'm in fucking America and I'm thinking, what?

I could potentially lose everyone. Yeah. I'm going to come back, it's going to be me and emery just going to be from my head. Burstack crying. I've jumped in the lift, going to to go on the coach. Yeah. I got to go home. Did I you what? Yeah. Told them a story. And because it was being documented, yeah. He just stuck a camera straight in my face. And I was like, oh no. Oh my God. He was like, can you just explain to the whole team on the bus what's

happening? And the last one wanted to do was this. I'm really sure I can't be here with you. Yeah. Did you win the game? Also we're playing 352. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got the coach of the stadium. I'm running about looking for a fucking cab. I can't find a cab anywhere to get to the airport. I've gone back on the bus driver. It's gone. Family brother, no problem. It's like saying I have a film. So I'm straight to the airport. I've jumped out, I've run, there's a massive queue, I'm more upset. I went, I need to get in front of you.

I've got to the front of the queue. This woman's sitting, I've gone, listen, I need the next flight. I need it that he's a wrecking accident. I like it, it's good. And now I'm having to pay, I'm thinking, what can we do, what condition? Well, the only fly out there is, is in few hours, it's from Philadelphia. So you have to come back here in a few hours, fly from here, go to Philadelphia, wait a Philadelphia, then fly.

Right. I said, don four hours to kill. So I've run back outside, yeah, this is all true by the way. I've seen the bus driver like wingling out. I've run up the thing, jumped back on the bus and said back on the stadium, the kick off of four that I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've got four and that was to kill, yeah? A sister is there. I am not missing managing West Ham. I've gone back to the stadium, the kickoff like, that was 11 o'clock, and it is like five to 11. I've pulled in, I've run, it's also cute. I've jumped over the gate, I'm running down.

I've gone Tom, what are you doing here? And I was like, well, listen, got the plane sorted, had a few hours to kill. There's no way I'm not managing West Anne. So now I've stood in the circle, I have given the best motivational street of my life. I stood there, listen, we're gonna do this for my daughter's my wife, Anton Fernan, I was buzzed, everyone's crying, boom, we got battered three ones. After that I've run off, I've gone,

guys, good luck for the next game. I'll have to go straight back to the airport. Now as we've got through security, Seney's sister Chavan has wrung me crying. What's the matter? Tom, it's not good, it's not good. So, whoa, what, I'm going for security. She had the result, three one. Yeah, get it. Yeah, get a good few chances, oh, possession, 80%.

So what else? Oh, so what else? Oh, sorry. know that she's like in the operating there's about 10 doctors in there there's been a problem I don't know what's going on she's crying she's but then I said well let me get for security I said listen sort yourself out I said you're with your sister go in there because I'm not and be there and be there for her now yeah like come on it's be strong here yeah I've got through security yeah I've got to run I'm gonna run I'm to the the the they they they they they they they I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've just I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I I've I I I I I I I I I I I've I've I've I've I've I've I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just just I've just just just just just just I've just just just I'm just just just just I'm just I'm just this I'm just this I've just th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th this I've just I've just I've just I've just I've just I'm I is nonsense, go in there, be there for an older ranch. Gonna write some, write time, I'm all right, Tom. Boulded the plane and obviously, as you know, Americans are larger than life people, literally, so I'm stuck on the edge of this aisle seat. I'm not a small guy either, I'm six one, like 18 stone and I'm small, yeah. And I'm stuck in this hole. literally got a text with Chevron saying two daughters a bomb picture. They're on his little incubate, all tubes everywhere. Three pound each, they're bomb. Three pounds. Well, they're

so early. The planes took off, I've text back, how's Chennai, lost signal. You can't make this up, right? Oh, God. So now I'm on a 45 minute do what I do I'm trying to buy the Wi-Fi so I can text 25 dollars like it didn't even work then as we're coming into land we are a hundred foot from the runway cabin crew everyone's sitting down there's nothing all sudden the captains give a little brace on the speakers I've gone fucking what I've undone my belt and I've stood up to look around everyone screaming the plane is pulled up and bank right right right like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the the the the the the the the the th $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $25.5.5.5.5. th. th. th. thi $ $25. I didn't $25. th. th. th. th. th. $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $. I I I I I I I I I I I I've th. I've th. I've th. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.25.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5. I've th. I've th. I've thi. I've th, I've gone, fucking what? I've undone my belt and I've stood up to look around, everyone's screaming, the plane is pulled up and bank right, like, say I've never seen before. It's done a last second go around because the other plane had been told to go on to the runway

and it was like going to be a collision. Oh my God. So, but now I'm thinking that I'm going to miss my connecting flight to heat to a to a to a to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to light to light to light to light to light to light in to light to light to light to get a signal? Yeah I thought it was about to die. But now I'm thinking I'm going to miss my connecting flight to Heathrow, right? Oh yeah. So anyway we've come back around landed, I've run her snagbom, she's in recovery, she's at cold, she's fine, pressure off. I know it's going to sound really stereotypically British here, yeah. But I've got to like the terminal, the big British airwayway way way way way way way way way. the British British British British air air air air air air air air air air air. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to come, th. th. th. th. We's, we're th. We's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was. It's is, th. I was, to. It's is to. I was, to. I was, to. I was, to. I was, to. I was like, thank fuck we're in the way I'm safe like we're getting there. I was like, listen, I had a nice glass of wine. I had a bit of steak and chips. Everything was good. And we flew back and I got Wi-Fi and everything was all right and I was relaxed and I landed my mate Cole was like, the black cab, now now now me full-time-a, the full, the full, their their their their their their their th.. th. th. thian, I thian, I was thian, I was a thian, I was full-I was full-o, I was full-o, I was full, I was full, I was full, I was a thin, I was a thee, I was a th. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was a nice, I was a nice, I was a nice, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a thian, I was a thin, I was a thin, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, like, like, I was like, like, like, I was like, like, I was like, I was like, like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, waiting from me outside, took me straight to the hospital, and I sat there with my wife and she was in recovery, blessed and legend, yeah. And the two twins were tiny little things, tubes everywhere, but in these little plastic ovens, incubators. Are you not

ovens? And as I've got there, now I've not slept for two days because of it, I've got there. And I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not slept, I've not slept, I've not slept, I've not slept, I've not slept, I've not slept, I've not slept, I've not slept, I've not slept, I've not slept, I've not slept, I've not slept, I've not slept, I've not sen, I've not seen, I've not seen, I've not seen, I've not seen, I've not sen, I've not sen, I've not sen, I've not sen, I've not sen, I've not sen, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not sen, I've not sen, I've not seen, I'm not seen, I'm not sacked a tied, not sacked a tiny, not sacked me me me my my tiny, not slept, no, no, not slept, no, no, no, no, I've not slept, no, no, I've not everything everything everything everything everything, I've not it and I'm sitting with my wife sitting with the babies and someone said, Tommy, you go home, you look exhausted, just go home. I went home and I remember coming back to my ass sitting on that sofa over there and two of her sisters around and I said I feel really bad I've only been up the hospital. I've only been up to hospital. I said, I've only been up the hospital. I've been up to the hospital. And then I said, I feel the th, I feel th, I feel th, I feel th, I feel th, I feel th, I feel th, the twins are not doing well, you know what I mean? Everyone's good. Oh, brilliant. Bloody out, what a snore? They're like on weight now and stuff, the twins? They're still small, only 10 pounds each and they're four months old, but.

Because they're only three months it really difficult doing like the babies when they were little even when they were like seven eight pounds but it's a three pound baby you're a big guy big and it just pick up one yeah yeah I don't know if we need the first birth story I think you've done the big one there I mean the first one they got strangulated blessing but he was I remember just sitting there eating Percy pigs but was you nervous because you're sort of super confident and happy go luck in positive but like when she was getting the contractions and she went in she went in, was you getting nervous and worried? Of course I mean even Henry's birth wasn't just like easy because he was strangulated. Well with the umbilical call? Yeah so they had to get him out in a certain amount of time and she didn't know I was that that th of th of their of course. of course. of course. of course. of course. of to to to they. Of to to to their. Of to to they. Of. Of. Of. Of. Of. Of. Of. Of. Of. Of. Of. Of. Of. to to to to to to to to. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just, to be, to be, to. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. I. Was. I. I. I. I. I. I........................................... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they had to get him out in a certain amount of time and she didn't know what's going on. I remember she was talking to the doctor and there's doctor she was like an angel she went to me like

to me like Tom like we've only got literally a minute to do this like when it happened so we need to get everything right so she went to tell the I went to her old around and literally I sat there eating Percy pigs. Mates it's actually I's actually I's actually I's actually I's actually I's actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the there's the Percy pigs. How much food there has you seen that, Josh? No, show us the photo of the food, and we read out what he took. Because Chenay's not eating, is she? She's giving bough. No. That's just for you, isn't it? Fuckeye's, their sandwiches. So there's thanks, their sandwiches, tha, chocolates and then some fruit. What are those cups? They're tubs are like the millionaire shortbreads from...

Oh, fucking down. So tell us about the book, Tom. So the book is the maddest thing I've ever done in my life. I've never thought in a million years I'll be writing a book. Yeah. Well, I didn't. It goes where I helped me. Refreshing honesty that's what we're looking for. I would have a guy called Nick Arden, he was an absolute legend. He followed me about my van for a few weeks, yeah, and he literally thought I was insane. He's like, when do you sleep and why do you eat so much?

You do eat a lot, but you train a lot and you're on the go which burns calories but you do pack it away don't. I reckon I eat probably five, no more six thininin calories, six thin calories, thin, thin, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, that, that, that, that, that, thi, I that, I that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, but I tho, but I th, but I th, but I th, but I th, th, th, th, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a thi, I'm a thi, I'm a thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi. thi, maybe more, six thousand calories a day. It ain't mega mega, but it's like a lot, but I do train, but I look like a fat geyser. Sometimes I see you on Instagram and you look rock solid, athletic and mussely and no offense Tom, some days are sort of like, is that his brother that I've not met yet? Because he looked like a completely different person. It's if he the the the the or not. If he's cut down to just 4,000 calories then he's looking really good by that point. So what's your 6,000 cows? Don't me through him. Every morning I'll have a dinner breakfast regardless of what the day of the week is like, whether it be lasagna, jockey, jockey, potato, early. Then if we're in the market, I will end up having something else around 8 or 9.

Yeah, but it'll be like a bacon roll or do what dog or something like that. Yeah. Then I'll have a bit of lunch. It's gonna sound so bad. What would you have for lunch? Would you come home or is that out at a cafe? No, normally should they does me a pat lunch, which would be like a little sandwiches, maybe like some chili from last night, cut the boiled eggs, you know, the usual few bags of crisps. A few bags. How many bags? No, that many two or three. Like some dairy dunkers and them little snack attacks that are for Henry.

And then dinner is out of home that you do a lot of cooking, don't you? Yeah, I normally cook the dinner. If it's quite good I'd film it and put it on Instagram. Yeah, I've seen that as well, yeah. Big portions as well, their big portions as well. Of course, because my house is so, my house is so, like, because my house is so, like, family-oriented. There's always like, like, the only time you'll be in my house and no one's the night the night the night the night the night the night every night every night every night every night every night, they night, they night, they night, they th. th. th. th. thi night, thi's, thi. thi. thi's th. thi's th. tho, thi. thi, thi's thi, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, like, so probably the only time you'll be in my house and no one's in it, just me. Do you find it weird being in the house on your own? I find that weird. Yeah, I get scared. Yeah.

No, I just, I don't like being indoors on my own. Do you like being alone at all to socialize the tool. If you say, for example, she's the kids, she the kids, she's the kids, she's the kids, she's the kids, she's their their their their their their, she's theirize with that weekend. Which wa? I wasn't allowed to socialize with people. If you could you just sit in the house, bye. But I think you love being around people, don't you feed off it. If she'd done that, I'd be like touch straight down the pub with my pals. Okay. You know exactly what's that. Yeah. I thought that would be the way. So you know because when we had we had our our our the second the second the second the second the second the second the second their their their their their their the for the day because really with the twins, it's hard on the own with the twins, but it's a lot calm if there's not a kid trying to do a poo in a pot and a throw a car at the kids. So you'd find in your spending a season ticket at West Dan. Oh really? At three? Not even three yet. His first game was at home

against Chelsea and he was just standing in the chair going, I earned irons, all games. All games. Didn't he have a clue what was going on. But he loved it. We had a really good day. I took him the train the other other the other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other tho tho the. We the other thi. We the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other older. I don't know, just try to do the right thing, didn't you? Do you want him to go down the own business, grafting, do your own thing route? 100% no. I mean, would you like to see him at uni and be in more academic and going down that route.

Yeah, I mean, I left left school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school from school by selling pornoes. Is that why you weren't allowed into America? Selling pornoes of school? One of the reasons. I've always worked and this enough, I've been up and down so many times in my life. Like, one minute I'd have a few quid, nice van, nice flat. Next minute, I'll be skint, back of my mom's ass. Your mom's got a two up, to to to to to to to to to to two, to to to to to to their to to to to their to to foot in the front room like by the front door, what's he doing there? You know what I mean? So like, I think I would like my kids to get a proper, like proper job.

Yeah. And not have that worry of where's your next pound come from? Touch world. I mean, I'm lucky now. I mean, I'm lucky now. I mean, I'm in a very fortunate situation where I could take a the the the the the the the the the the the the the need to go work every day. Hand to mouth. You know what I mean? Yeah, and it was just hard. Because if it rained all week, you weren't going to work on the market, so you had no readies. Yeah. And then buying and stop buying a right stock.

I think I would like them to get if they said they wanted to go on the apprentice? I'll definitely do that. That's really good fun. Yeah, you enjoyed that I think. Do you like sugar? Mate, he's actually alright. I mean, I didn't realize how short he was. I mean, I didn't realize how good he was a good because you're really trying to get a quarter million quid. Like if you're good, you'd have a quarter million quid, wouldn't you? Let's be honest. It's a good point. But I took it what it was. I had a laugh on it. I just enjoyed it and took to the try. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their th th thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thin. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. their their their their their their th. their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. try. try. try. tod tod toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toe. toe. toe. toe. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. today. today. today. today. tod don't you? Yeah it's like being in jail mate right so you turn up they go phone money keys stripped with all your stuff you get chucked in the house you get your little cell your little room there's like Freeter room and literally you're

told when to go to bed you can't watch tell her you can't speak to your family and I was there for seven weeks so it was hard it was hard you do to miss your friends and family I they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get. to get. to get. to get. to to to get. to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. their their the. their their their their their the. their their their the. the but. Were you able to source your lasagna at 4 a.m. What was going on? The house with the stadium was in Finchley. Now, my wife and my family were from Finchley, and off their family were from Finch, and off their parlor. There's a pub.

I literally, one back through the window because we're in this big old man of house. Yeah. I can't think what it's called. Anyway, it's real, the big guy has it's on. Right, okay, it's one of the big ones. I suppose you got to get all the candidates in there. Just like 18 people in there. It's like a big brother house, just big up. Obviously, you didn't have kids then. No, we didn't. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. It's. It's. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the bookies favorite to do that for three years in a row, yeah. Are you doing it? Well, I don't know at the minute. Oh really? But listen, I mean, it'd probably be the wrong time at the minute with the babies. But I would love to do it. I mean, I don't think, apart from the high hatch, there wouldn't be a challenge I wouldn't do. You'd eat everything. Changing a napp would you change? And and Dex? And Dex Nappy, yeah. Give An't a break. Everyone in real life is smaller than what they appear in a telly, yeah? Facts, right?

Yeah. I don't know why this is because like they say the camera adds ten pounds, right? Yeah. But it must be minus four cameras on me because people go, call, you look a lot better on a telly. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We didn't actually get to. What's the book about? Is it your life story? So the book is about graft, how to smash life. Bosch. It's not an autobiography.

It's more life lessons and stories that happened to me. So it's like, it's a it's a it's a funny, it's a funny, it's a funny, it's a funny, it's a funny, it's a funny, it's a funny, it's a funny, it's a funny, it's a funny, it's a funny, it's a me. So it's like, it's a funny book basically like a few people read it and said it's absolutely hilarious. Like, there's stories near when I've been abroad and I nearly got shot and killed and there's also stories in there like when I'm in a market stall. Anything I thought could give someone a lesson in life of putting that book. I've read an advanced copy of it, one of the only ones we've read, because we've got the same publisher, Kelly. Yeah, how lu is Kelly? She's so lovely. She's really, really good. And she, obviously, it's well, you've got dyslexia to quite a high degree, which you might be

find it really difficult, and I think it might be really difficult and I think it's really, and I think it was really helpful and she's really, they, and it's really, and it's really, and it's really, and it's really, and it, and it's really, and, and, and, and, and, the book, so you're not putting any punches, in it. Thanks, mate. There's a few stores I couldn't put in there because I thought I'd go. Are you want to share here, Tom? Oh, no. No, I think my management would stab me. Fair it up.

If you've got management, I reckon you could get me a better deal than that, right? Well, classic example, we've done a brand deal with McDonald's, yeah? And I was like, can I come to the meeting please? And I was like, please, please, let me come to the meeting. I was like, all right, got to the meeting. I was like, listen, I'm, I'm just ran with them in the meeting. There was like, listen. And is it Henry at nursery yet or anything like that? Yeah, he's at nursery. How was that dropping him off?

Do you know what? The first one we went together and it was like, how is he going to be? But he loves it? He's got his little mate called Lenny and there he goes. Daddy nursery, he loves it. And he enjoys nursery. Since getting to nursery, you've obviously this how fast they progress. Oh it's mad yeah and how running does their nose get? Yeah! Their vocabulary increases and that they have to make space in

their head for it so it just comes up to nose. A constant stream of snots. Always ill they're always bringing back and that's probably what you've got. I like to go and pick him up Friday last week and I was like like they. they. to to to to to to to to to to to to they. to to they. they. to to they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I their they. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I was. I was their their they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was th. I was try. I was try. I was too. I was too. I was. I was. I was try. I was. I was try. I was th. I was their their their their they. I had to go pick him up Friday last week and I was like yeah he's fine but he's just been sick and I was like oh no problem. Then I went to a boxing event on Saturday I was boxing big London team with Ricky Hatton and Johnny Nelson all that so I've got a few put around to my wife she was in bed with it all day and then yesterday. I didn't yet. I didn't yet the second half of the day so thin so hopefully so. So the the the the the so. So hopefully so. So hopefully so. So hopefully so. So hopefully so. So hopefully. So hopefully. So hopefully. So hopefully. So hopefully it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th so hopefully hopefully it's hopefully it's th so hopefully it's all. So hopefully it's th. So hopefully it's they. So hopefully it's the the the the the the the the the so hopefully it's the so hopefully it's all. So hopefully it's all. So hopefully it's all. So hopefully it's all. So hopefully it's the the the the the the the th. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, they. So hopefully, they. So hopefully it's all. So hopefully it's all. So hopefully it's all. So hopefully it's all. So hopefully it's all. So hopefully it's all. So hopefully it's all. So hopefully it'm not allowed. What to have the twins on your own? No, yeah. Listen, it's going to sound terrible, yeah. I'm still struggling to tell them apart. Oh, what the twins? So you don't know what's that? because they are identical and the weight is identical, like's identical, yeah. The only thing you can tell is Roma, yeah. She's got like a little bit of a bump on her head,

but when you put them together like that, it's like looking at two identical things, they're so alike. Well, my friends had to do that. They had twinne. They ended up painting the nail varnish, when I had a blue nail varnish, just to tell them part, especially in the middle of the night. Because you don't want to feed them twice. Yeah, exactly, yeah, just to stop you feeding them. I've got a marker pen and put A and B on their head, but she makes them mental. I think nail varnish, I think it's right, the the final question? I've got 600 questions about how the apprentice works, Rob, but I don't know whether that's, this is the podcast. Oh, you can do some more apprentice questions if you want.

How set up is it? Oh, massively. But it's brilliant. Thank you very much. One of the biggest thing to tell about the apprentice that no one knows is, if you're doing a task and you've got something to do it and it, to do something something something to do something to do something something to do something their to doesn't count. Really? What do you mean? So they'll send you out and go, you've got to sell the tickets. You could go and sell every single ticket, but if you didn't have a camera watching it, it doesn't count for the show. No. Anyone who's watched this,

watching this podcast who wants to go on your apprentice, make friends with their shows, it doesn't exist. I always think like it must be really annoying when you're desperately trying to sell a load of stuff and then they pull you aside for an interview and you're like, I really could do without this because I'm trying to sell some scarves on a market store. What I'll do, like I'm making a minute, I ain't doing one now, I'm just carrying one thin and doing something. But when you do a task, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, and th, and th, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and their, and thi, and their, and thi, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and tha, and tha, and tha, and tha, and tha, and tha' tha' tha' tha' tha'a' tha' tha actually are running about all day getting in cabs going here, going there. It's very, very long. And the ballroom takes three to four hours to film. Oh my God. That must be exhausting. Lord Sugar, I love him. Lovely bloc. But he's getting a little bit now and he forgets his lines. And like it'll just like randomly just start screaming at someone and get their name wrong and then they'll go, Lord Trigger you got his name wrong and they go oh and he'll do it

again and just scream at the same person again. You're sacked. Oh shit what is it? Yeah. Hard to remember your life. It's been a pleasure to talk to you Tom. Josh I feel like there's another apprentice question you've got more what's that cafe like. Oh so bad. You know like one in cash that just has like a cutler cakes for sylipheem over it and some marz bars, cut a lot, Rios, ain't a great calf. No, fair. And you know when you win the task?

I always think those things look so fucking shit when you go to a cocktail making class. Well obviously I only won one uming, yeah. See if I got like, oh, lunch at the shard like this, like this, like, said, that ain't good. What did I get? Fucking rowing lesson, right? It was like, oh yeah, so I had to sit in a pool with like the other six guys in my team in a canoe and just row against the thing while someone was, isn't it? Like, this is not fun. That is awful. Terrible. That's not going to incentivize you to do it well, is it?

Well, that's what I lost the rest of them. Yeah. On Burbers. And what's it like to be fired? Is that a relief in the end? No. Because you obviously, the one thinks, the the tho. tho. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. to. the to to to the to. the to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the ttoooooooooooe. the the ttoo-s., too-s. too-s. tooomeid, just for you, obviously, it's about Shanaid. What's the one thing she does parenting wise that makes you go, oh, she's amazing. I'm so lucky to have her as my partner and mother of my kids. And then what's the one thing she does that sort of frustrate you a little bit with a kid? That if she was listening, she might go, yeah, that that that that that that that that that that that that the way that that the way that that that that the way that that the way that that that that that that that that the way that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that she's that's that's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the way thi. thi. thi's thi. thi's thi's thi's thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo's th. th. the babies want. Knows which one's which. Yeah, she knows what baby's what?

You know that when the baby starts crying? I have some don't hear it. She would sit up, get up, bang she's on it. Or if Henry's upset, she knows what he wants. Like, she's so good at being a mom. And like, she'll sit there andwin there. She's just multitasking. Which I'm like, oh, I've dropped the baby again. Like, obviously I'm not like. Yeah, to clear up, you're not actually dropping the babies.

It's just a bit of fun. Yeah, but I mean, almost. One thing that she does to annoy me, probably when Henry wakes up at night sometimes, bedroom is next to our bedroom and he's got a little gate on there, Jan. And I'll sometimes open it in the middle night so you can come in and get a little cuddle, yeah, because I just have a little cuddle with him. Because I'll wake up three four in the morning, so like if he wakes up, I have a little bit, so I have a little bit, I have a little cuddle, and I'll go and I'll get a shout and I'll go to work, and she she she she she she's their thua, and I'll like, like, like, like, like, like, and I'm, like, like, like, like, and I'm a little, and I'm a little, and I'm a little, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, and I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll get a little, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll get a little, I'll get a little, th.. a little, I'll th. a little, I'll th. a little, I'll th. a little, I'll th. A little, I'll th. A little, I'll th. A little, I'll th. And, I'll, th. C. C. And, I'll, I'll, th. C. And, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, little bit, but you can see while she's doing it. Yeah, she's like, you shouldn't be leaving his bed. Well, that's because you piss off at three

and she's got a sleep with a toddler the four hours. As she says, she's like, now I've got three kids, why do you're awake three the book and everything else. What's the name of the book one more time? It's called Graft How to Smash. Abash. Cheers, Toll. Have a good one, mate. Have a good day, guys.

See you later. Tom Skinner. A Bosh. What a lovely bloat. What a lovely bloat. It's just so animated, thi. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t t t t t t the. the. to. to..? Yeah, a lot of people saying it's, but we're actually very different in real life. Like, I've got a beard and I was like, also he's much bigger than me. He's like six foot one, I'm five for eight. Yeah, you're not having a lasagna at four foot, four foot.

Four foot. Four foot. Foult. I should have asked about lasagna at Christmas, what his view was. Oh God, yes, maybe next time. But yeah, by his book, Tom Skinner, good luck with a graft. Right, see you next week. See Tuesday. See you Tuesday. Bye. Bye. Bye. Hi guys, Fatty at El Gori here. Quick question, br'u.

Do you like to laugh. Do you like to give money to good causes? Course you do, bra'c, course you do. Well listen, on Thursday the 2nd of November, Hagney Empire, I'm hosting a comedy night with a star-studded lineup. Heard of Rob Beckett, Jack D. Kerry Goddley, theyman, Axel Blake, Joanne McNally, Harry Hill. Well yeah I pulled some strings, didn't I? They're all going to be joining me to raise money for the British Red Cross, Morocco Earthquake and Libya Floods appeal. It's a win for your dopamine levels and your morals. So get your tickets at Hackney Empire or Ticketmaster. See you there, Annette!

Hello, I'm Jen Bristor. And I'm Kerry Godleyman. And we host the brand new podcast series, Memory Lane. Each week we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guests, as they bring in four photos from their past to talk about. And Jen and I will be doing new episodes every week. Come on, we can all be nosy together. Memory Lane podcast, available now. Hello, I'm Charles Brandreth. What's the very first thing you remember? That's the question. I'll be asking my famous and fascinating guests in Rosebud.

My new podcast about first memories and first experiences. My first memory is handing my auntie Muriel a piece of turd. Other guests include Dame Judy Dench, Allison Hammond and Rory Stewart. Download and listen wherever you get your podcasts.