Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S7 EP41: Oily dog poop

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... This week we're catching up with some of your correspondence. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] (E) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Join for just $4.99 a month. Hello, you're listening to Parents in Hell with Grace. Can you say, Yeah. Bob Beckett. Rob Beckett. And Josh Whiddickom. Very good.

Oh, that was sweet. Oh, that was sweet woman. That was one of the cutest we've had for ages. Hello, this is my daughter Grace who's eight doing your intro this is my daughter Grace doing your intro she was two at the time and now she's three I recorded this last year never sent it as I found out I was pregnant again shortly after and life got too busy for me to send it I'm not welcome to my world honestly mate that is I'd say a three-second job I know but that'll be a nice tick the the the nice nice nice nice nice nice the the the the nice nice the nice the the nice the nice the nice th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the th. the the thi that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that their that their that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th that that that th th that th th th th. th. that that th. that th. that th. that that th. I that the the the they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they. I'll they. I'll the the they. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll that's the. That is, I'd say, a three-second job. I know, but

fuck me. But that'll be a nice tick on the to-do list, wouldn't it? Yeah. Sending voice note to podcast. Feels like a really big thing. I've got to buy the school photos after this. Talking apparently. Have you forgot to do it? Yeah, I've just remembered that's something to do list looking like. to. to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. to. to. to. to. to. their. to. their. to. to. to. their. to. to be, I. to be, I. to be, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the the t. t. tod-s. tod-s. tod-s. tod-s. tod-s. tod-a. tod-s. I'm. S. I'm. I'm. I'm. I do. What's your to-do list looking like? It's not too bad. My to-do list is, I can tell by my inbox, because what I do with my inbox is our markers unread and emails that need replying to. Right, okay, and what you're up to? And so that's a good sign. I'm absolutely

cooking on gas so we cut you off what you saying about grace yeah recorded last year never sent it as I found out I was pregnant again shortly after and like got too busy I'm now writing this during a night feed oh fucking hell I've just seen when it was sent with my son four months during which I suddenly remember this recording I had on my phone from my daughter sent 24th of November this was sent Friday night at 11 minutes past three that is I think 3 a.m. I think 3 a.m. is the worst hour don't you think yeah because 2 a.m. there's times where you've been up at 2 a.m. and go blady oh it's got to 2 a.m. is the worst hour. Don't you think? Yeah. Because 2 a.m. There's times

when you've been up at 2 a.m. and go bloody oh it's got to 2 a.m. Yeah at 5. Sometimes you get up early at 5 if you got a busy day or whatever at 3.m. My brother used to work at a flower market you said to get up at midnight. Oh my god my son thuk up at 3. the tho. th. thirty. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. the to. to. th. the the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, time. time. time. time. time. time. th. th. time. to. th. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. at sleeping through. So the problem is you get used to them sleeping through so when they don't, it's suddenly such a shock to the system. Yeah. And so I end up going back to bed. I went in because as we've discussed, he's too attached to Rose so she couldn't possibly go in at night because it would wake him up. Yes, of course, which I think I think is some of the greatest PR spin. I think Rose should be like a politician spin doctor. Because also what she's down there is got out of doing it and also go and he likes him more

on you so he loves more on you so why don't you put about that shift in see a la la boy. Off you go. Give you something to chat about your little podcast mate. Fuck off. I got back to bed I couldn't go something to chat about your little podcast, mate. Fuck off. I got back to bed, I couldn't go back to sleep. Really? I forgot that when you can't get back to sleep, you start to worry about things you just never worry about in the day. When I'm tired, that's when it creeps in.

I had, today, weirdly, I've been quite busy, but it's been really fun I've been doing loads of stuff for the kids but I have been super busy with Christmas gigs and stuff like that in the run up to Christmas there's loads of gigs and stuff like that I just out of know when I don't think I'm doing enough for my kids and I don't think I'm taking big enough interest in their education and their friendship groups and I think they're going to go to hate me and thin' their their their their not not not not not not not not not not not not not their their their their their to their to their to hate their their their to hate their their to hate to hate to hate their to hate their their to hate to hate thin' to hate to hate their not to hate to hate to hate to hate to hate to hate to to to to to to to to to to to to thi I'm not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not thr-I thr-I thr-I I'm thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. I I's thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm just. I'm just thin and I'm just. I. And I sat in the car. I was like, where's that come from? That is mental. And my daughter went into school so happy. She was buzzing. Yeah, because she wasn't with you. Yeah, because she wasn't with you. I ruined everything. Who's your terrible parented? Oh God. But sometimes I could be in the best head space ever, you can just wake up. And I had it the other day where I was like, everything is shit, I don't want to get out of bed

and I just won't be able to do anything today. You know when you have that? And then, and I know it sounds won't, won't thanks, those gratitude lists, which I always feel like, oh, I'm like, I'm thrown, I'm literally, I'm literally, I'm literally, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm really hot and it was freezing that morning. Yeah. I was so lucky to have a warm shower. Isn't that nice? And just sort of focused on the little bit. And then we got in the car and then my other daughter wasn't very well so. So she went in. I let us sit in the front, this was a couple weeks. And then she went in a napi to school. And then I was driving. to be happy. And I. the their. to. to be. the to be. to be. the their. to be. the to be. the to work. to work. the the the thin. thin. to work. to work. to work. thin. the to focus. the the to focus. thea. to focus. to focus. to focus. to focus. to focus. to focus. to focus. to focus. to focus. tha. tha. tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And thea. And total. And total. And that helps. And then you can sort of get a bit of momentum then and turn it the other way or other

ways you can wallow, can't you, especially in. I love doing five gratitudes in the morning, Rob. So do you do it every day? I try to. Do you repeat them though? Four gratitude to me, old Corey. Massive Corey won. Nice carpet so I don't rub the bell on the hard wooden floor. As I walk. Sorry, it's a bit gratuitous, isn't it, that? Yeah. I like the word Corey though for penis, don't you?

Yeah, yeah. That's good that. What's the rhyming slang? What's the rhyming slang? Corrie, penis? I don't know if there is rhyming-sam Corey. I thought Corey might be a traveller word. Corey penis. Oh God, this is a difficult search. It's vulgar slang for the penis. Yeah, it is vulgar. Oh, you can call someone Corey. Where does the word? I've put in, where does the word? And I'm obviously going to write Cori. Nance came up first. Don't put that in. It must be a southern thing then because, Freddy, Freddy, then, then, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, th, th, thoo It must be a southern thing then, because if Freddy's called his son Corey, it's just a name up north. Yeah, yeah. But down south it means your penis.

I hadn't heard it before, but I like it instantly I knew what it meant. You've not heard Corey before. No, but when you said it, I thought what might be a traveller word. There we go, interesting. Yeah, we're all learning, we're learning. Susie Dent, I'd have Susie Dan on here. She got kids? Yeah, it's Romani. It's a Romani word. Ah.

Borrowed from the Anglo-Romanie, Corr-Corey penis. Corp. Corrion. Anyway, anyway, that's enough of that. Let's do some correspondence. We haven't done any for ages and we are well behind. No, let's do some bloody correspondence. Yeah, exactly. Because we're rude, we ask for all this stuff and then we don't get around to doing it.

Yeah, exactly, but people know where they stand. I've got a long one here, Josh. Don't want to Rob and Sultry, Michael, okay when my husband was little he had one Nan just called Nan. Okay thanks to your correspond. Is that it? Thanks to Marie, no there is more called Nan. And a second Nan called Nan with the cats. Ah yeah. When Nan cats died in order to still distinguish between the two nuns she became Nan with the cats. Ah yeah. When Nan cats died, in order to still distinguish between the two nans, she became Nan without the cats. Poor Nan had a reminder of a deceased cats every time,

oh no, so when the cats die. Oh my God, she became Nan without the cats. Yes. So my poor Nan had a reminder of a deceased cats every time my husband and two brothers referred to her. Love the podcast. OG a listener, Lucy from Chester. There you go. There we go, that is good. That is good. Do you want a harsh nickname? I've just highlighted that in red so we know we've done it guys, just that's a little

bit of admin. Little peek behind the curtain. Yeah. We've got a Google Doer Rob. Go on. We discussed this the other day didn't we? Yes, because people sent in a message about things they do with their kids and I was like, well, that actually is boomer parenting but in 2023. So we are accepted entries for modern boomers. Yeah, I had a particularly challenging day with my three-year-old and he's been a total asshole. Yeah, you are a modern boomer. End of email. Calling the child an asshole. As part of my bedtime routine, we sing Old MacDonald with three animals whilst counting down the animals on my fingers.

For the last one, I just flipped him the bird and held it what I sang. He was none the wiser and it made me feel a tiny bit better about the day. Not my finest parenting moment, and thankfully my partner was out so couldn't see me on the video monitor. Thank you. I'm going to leave her and on. I think that's okay because that's not affecting the child. And the child doesn't know. Yeah. Because you're not, you're really giving the situation the middle finger not. Yeah, exactly. If you do that, if you do that, lock eyes and go what I'm doing here is offensive and you're a fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking. What thau fucking. What thau. What th. What th. What I'm th. What I'm th. What I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. I'd say don't do that but I think a little bird's fine and it. Little bird told me. But my daughter's been doing that doing peace, you know, they love doing the peace sign for photos, but they started doing it the other way around. So we've had to tell them that's rude. But now they know it's rude. That's rude. they're not rude. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their rude. to. to. to. to. to. thrue. thrue. thrue. thrue. thrue. thrue. thru-I. thrued. thrued. thrued. thrued. thrued. thrued. thrued. thrued. thrued. thrued. thrued. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. te. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thin. the. theeeeeer. Your recent conversation around reverse boomer parenting and child not brushing their teeth

made me want to share a story. When I was about seven and we were due to go on holiday to Spain, my mom told me that in Spain there were tooth inspectors who knock on the door to check you brushed your teeth only she forgot she said it, and while we were on their their their their she said she said she said she said she said she said she said she said she said she said she said she said she said she said she said she said she said she said she said she said she said we're on holiday she was a bit miffed why I constantly smell minty. I took a whole week for the penny to drop. I was brushing my teeth 20 times a day. No. In fear of the tooth inspector. Oh God. Fast forward 36 years and whilst my six year old son is good at brushing his teeth he's very sensitive toothpaste. I've still not taken him to the dentist, but I felt I needed to get my ducks in a row before I take him, so the dentist doesn't tell me off. So firstly, we got him to stop sucking his thumb, which was surprisingly quick and easy given how insanely stubborn my son is. Then one evening, while I was exceptionally tired from work, I decided to tackle the minty toothpasteaste paste theastastastastastastastastastastastastastastastastastastastastastastastastastastastastast... the min. th. th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. too. too. too. to me, to me. to me me. to me. to me. to to to to to to to to to to to to the m. So, the m. So, the m. the mn. the mn. the mne. the mn. th. thu were teeth police who'd check up on children randomly. Police, that's gone up a level. Now they've got power.

Yeah. Inspector will just report back to the council. To make sure they use minty toothpaste. He asked what happened if they didn't. So I told him they use minty toothpaste. He asked what happened if they didn't. So I told him that he would be sent to prison. No. That's not going to help our overstuffed prisons, is it? No. I even said my friend Sally from school had her

had her mom go to prison because she didn't use mint. Right, this as a kid and it freaked her out and she brushed the teeth 20 times day which is going to have a terrible impact on the gum. Yeah, receding gums. Rums receding gums Murphy. They do not come back. Now, she's done it to her own kid.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did like getting toled off. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.. I. I. I. I. I to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll... I'm. to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to................................................................................................................................................... of this, Rob? Please, I'm not a fan of foreplay, finish me off. Q the tears, or should I say, terrified sobs of, of, I don't want you to go to prison, at this point, I really should have stopped, because his fear of minty toothed, it's to be afti. to me me me me me me me. to too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to t. t. t. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. too, which about a good 40 minutes later resulted in brushing his teeth through sobs. I still feel guilty, but I was exceptionally tired. I just think having a fill-in's less hassle. Yeah, and I felt I'd gone too far to back down. A few days later I decided,

can't you get a different flavored toothpaste? A few days later I decided to tell him I was fib-fibbing I, and I the their their their.... their. their. their. their. their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was t. I was thea. I was thea. I was fi. I was thee. I was just tha. I was just tha. I was just just thea. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was t. I was t. I was t. I was t. I was t. I was t. I was t. I was t. I was t. I was t. I was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just a thea. I was just a thea. I'm ttax ttttired. I'm ttttttttired. tttired. tttttie. tired. ttired. tired. tired. I was tired. I was me and said, Mommy, I know you weren't telling the truth about the tooth inspector. And I just smiled and we left it there. Thanks for the great podcast. It's the highlight of my week. I'm not surprised after her in that. You're just sobbing in the bathroom, brushing teeth. Her name is Lou, from Bromley, Kent. makes up for me being an evil mom she's put. Do you reckon that's my Lou that's admitting to that on the podcast? Well it's a boy it's a boy isn't it? Right well unless she's got another kid I don't know about? Yeah yeah yeah of course yeah no

wonder she's tired. She's hiding a boy in the house now. I just think saying that you can go to prison because you don't brush your teeths help is it? Who am I? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who the the the the the th. Who th. Who th. Who th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thief is thief is thief is thief is thief is thief is thiefs? thief is thief is th. thief is thief is thief is thief is thief is thief is thief is thief is thief is thief is thief is thief is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th the is the is the is the is the is the is a boy is a boy is a boy is a boy is a boy is a boy is a boy is the is the is the is the is to to thee is theeeeee old. That's modern boomers. Do you want dog carnage fail? Yeah big time. Dear Rob and Josh, my wife and I were owners of two dogs before we had children. When we heard we were pregnant we began making the adjustments to our home life in preparation for our newborn. The dogs were kept out of certain rooms they were no longer allowed upstairs and they had to now sleep in the the the the the the the the to... to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to be. to. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to................ And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, to. And, to. And, to, to. And, to, to, to. And, to. And, to. And, to now sleep in the kitchen, etc. It took some getting used to for the dogs, but once our son was born, they soon adapted. As new parents, we received presents from very generous friends and family, one of which was a Johnson's babysit, including shampoo and baby oil.

Many of these baby toiletries were then arranged nicely in the storage of our new baby dynamics where one night I was woken by my wife who had heard some strange noises coming from downstairs. Like most husbands would do, I told her not to worry. It was just the dogs and they would settle back down soon, ignoring whatever was happening as I wanted to go back to some much-needed sleep. Classic. Several hours later my wife woke me again as she had heard some more commotion downstairs. I couldn't ignore it this time and had to go down. As I opened the door to the kitchen slash dining room, I was met with utter carnage.

The dogs had managed to bite through the bottle of Johnson's baby oil and drink the entire bottle. Oh my god. As you can imagine, a full bottle of oil will play havoc on even the most irregular of digestive systems. And the dogs had emptied their well-lubricated bowels all over the kitchen and thin. The wretched smell was so revolting. I really can't compare it to anything I'd ever had them as fortunate. Oh my god. A lobed up dog shit, basically. We're back to the worst smells who ever smelled again. Remember that? Yeah, yeah, that was good that.

Do I tell you about the onion in a cupboard? When my mate was at uni, someone had cut an onion in half and put it in a tupoware box and put it in the cupboard, not the fridge and left it there for six months? Oh my god. that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that th. that was tho that that that that that tho- thoome. thoom-n't thoes thoes th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho. that that that too? too? to to toge. to to to togeaa. to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. tt six months. Oh my God. And we opened it until this day. Oh my God. The worst smell. Anyway. Do you know when I went to uni Rob? Yeah. So like this is the first day I went to the unny. Yeah. My dad took me to the supermarket and he was like, I'll do a supermarket shop with you before I go. Yeah. Classic. Great parenting 101. Can't wait. I'll be a mess. But anyway... Just crying in the aisles buying potatoes. I think I was the first one into my kind of flat thing. Yeah. So I just put everything in my room,

and then I just didn't really think about the stuff. And then about three weeks in, I was like, what's that smell? And there was just like bags of rotting vegetables under my bed. I just can't believe, is the only time I've seen juice coming off a potato? I thought potatoes would just go dry but it was so moldy or something it was exuding a liquid of some sort. Don't you know sometimes you can see the little roots coming out of them when they've been left in the cupboard. Yeah. That happens to my mate at uni. I went around his he went do you want a pizza? I went all right and then he went to his cupboard

yeah I was like what was he doing He went, I'm getting the pizza out. I went, cupboard pizza? And he got it out, it was covered in mold. He went, oh, it's got moldy, it must be off. Well, yeah, because he's the cupboard, mate. It needs me the friend. And he went, oh, I didn't know. good one. Any kid drop-off stories or your first week without your parents? First week without your parents and parents dropping off their teenagers at uni stories please because it's something it's coming around fast Josh we need to get prep for this and there'll be people doing it you know or have just

done it so that's a big day in it. One of my most vivid memories is the end of freshers week. Run out of condoms, did you? Too bloody right, mate. Yeah, Freshers Week. At the end of Freshers Week. It was fucking incredible, Rob, Freshers Week. I just went out on the lash every night. And I didn't use to get hangovers in those days. That's because she was pissed again the next day.

It was just like, I can't believe this is happening. I checked my bank account and I'd spent 400 qu a in a week. I couldn't believe it had happened. I just couldn't understand what happened. I know but because it was fresh as week I'd go to like the introductory things. They got to buy all these books and I was like, all right, I bought up. So you're just buying all these books. I never like all right I bought up so you're just buying all these books I never read obviously. Yes. Going out every night all this food rotting under my bed. Loved it. I went in the glory years when it was like anyone could go and it was cheap. That was the thing also yeah. Because it was like why not? The fees were well cheap. You got a loan that covered all your accommodation and fees and just could pay off whenever and

it was good for me because it got out of my little bubble of South East London London and sort of could see the slightly wider one. I mean I was only in Canterbury I didn't go far but. And the thing about you Rob is your personality shows that you got out of that Southeast London bubble. You couldn't put a finger on where where the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. thi. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. Yeah, th. I, th. I, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, t. Yeah, t. Yeah, t t toge. Yeah, t toge. I'm, t toge. Yeah, t t t t t t thooo I'm from. No, exactly. I'm like chameleon, I just sort of get out of the South East London bubble and just, since then I never look back, you know, you wouldn't know. I'm like Gary Oldman. You are a citizen of the world.

Yes. I'm a vagabond, I'm a traveling, three-wheeling life. That was the thing about it, like, like old bastards again but like it was cheap it was just like why wouldn't I do this? Yeah because I didn't have to pay fees and that's what you should be like so young people could explore the world rather and just being forced into doing whatever your dad did. Yeah you know that's the big argument isn't it at the moment of political now. Can I just say one more thing about money at uni? One of my friends at the end of the first year, she thought that the bank reset your overdraft to zero. At the end of the month?

At the end of the year, so she was like, don't worry, it's the end of the year back to zero. No. Yeah, short, sharp shock lesson. to their stuff. . You know now they do the thing where you go to cinema to watch that and then trolls is on sky and it's like 15 quid. And you can't rent it, you just have to buy it and it's on straight away. I'm just like, yeah, can we have that?

I was like, no, it's 15 quid. Wait. They were like, they're like to be like mean. Yeah. Just go like well when I was growing up I couldn't just have that straight away so you're not. Yeah. It's weird isn't it because you're like I could afford to buy you that soft toy. What am I proving? Yeah. What point am I proving it? But I always do it over the little things. Then I'll go like, I'll be in Starbucks and I go, can we have a frap of cheetah and I'll do like 12 quid not even think about it and they could have had that film. Yeah. And they just don't even drink it. Well I kind of say to myself, my children don't understand money yet so it doesn't really matter. Yes, I know what you mean? She's not going to go, but wait a minute you spent 20 quid on me you you you you you you you you you you you you you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, thi, thi, tho, tho tho thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, th th th th, th th, th th th thi, and I thin, and I thin, and I'll thin, and I'll thin, and I'll thin, and I'll to to thin, and I'll th aware, oil is not the easiest substance to clean, especially mixed with dogship.

Oh my god. And worse still, for some reason, I will never understand. The dog still found the baby oil that had been excreted from their body irresistible and we're busy lapping it up again ready for round two. Oh my God. Fucking how. Fucking how. This is horrible. So as he's on, he's cleaning it, they're eating him. Oh fuck that. There were several more days of recycled shitty baby or having to be cleaned up

quickly before the dogs were able to devour it. This never ends! Jesus Christ. Thankfully, because it was safe for the use on babies, the dogs are absolutely fine, but it did take a while for the smell to disappear however it will always be burnt into my memory. Now we weren't put off by the experience and as well as our two Bichons we now have two sons age five and seven but I must add we have never actually used baby or on either of our children I'm not sure the purpose of a not on a newborn so as a warning to anyone for their new parents please please please, don't buy baby or for anyone with dogs.

Thanks, Steve, the we're all. Jesus. Bloody Nora. The things that guy's seen. Things that guy's seen. Things that guy's seen. Bichon's as well. They're airy dogs.

They're all over there. around the floor covered in oil dog poo. Oh God, God, God, God. Labradors are greedy dogs. Out of Labradors, I've seen eat their own shit, and I sort of think, if a dog's a man's best friend, we're in trouble. Plooh! He's just over there knocking back on his own shit. Here he comes, my best mate. By about union, I was like, I've got no idea what I've said before.

If you hear a story that you've already heard before, send it in and we can at least have a list of our double story amnesty. And then we won't do it for a third time, okay? Yeah. So if we repeat a story, we won't make a big thing of it, but just send them in, we in, we in, we in, we in, we in, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we'll, the, the, the, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to, to, th. their, to me, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th. We, th. We, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. If, th. We, to. to. We'll, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th've repeated and we'll promise never to do them again. And then if we go halfway through, I've said this before, we can quickly look at the document and go yes we have and move on. Yeah, because we don't want to lose you guys. No from repeating stories so help us help you. Yeah, exactly. And if we've told stories twice but they've been different that's because we remember them differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently differently to to to the same story, so we've just changed it a bit. Yeah, it's all bollocks really. I didn't even got kids.

That's why I don't say their names. Is that just me and look, pretending. I occasionally just hug a kid in the street and put a little emoji over their head and go, oh, great day out. Yeah, what's your stage stage one? Is it some tips for you? Hello, Rob and Josh. I've just listened to episode 35 with Josh speaking about his Wii stage fright. I don't know if this is a Scottish reader or all. Lovely. I honestly thought. I was a lack of energy into the delivery of it as well. So just like, yeah. We're all there.

Honestly thought I was weird, but I've always suffered from stage fright when going for a wee in a public toilet. You're not alone, shy, Joshua. I've always had to take a friend in the toilet with me to stand with the hand dryer on, so I'm able to go for a wee. Oh God. This is from a woman, Katie Sugarman, and so she gets it in the cubicle. I don't get it in the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, I, I, th, I, th, th, th, th, I, th, I, th, th. to. to to to to to to to to to to to told. to. I'm told. told. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to. I've. I've to. I've to. I've to. I've too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, toothe cubicle. So in a cubicle, in a public toilet, you're in a cubicle, you're wean immediately. Yeah, fine. Sat down stood up? Stood up? Stood up. Stood up. What about number two in a public? Yeah, I can do that. I'm getting pickier as I get older. Are you? Are you? thin' in me? Are you? Yeah, hanging out out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the the the the the the the the the th the th th th th th th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, t the th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, th' th' th' toilet than not get it done and have it hanging over me. Hanging in you. Yeah, hanging in me.

Hanging out of you. Would you rather save it for a life of luxury? No, no, no, no. If he's got a go, it's got to go. Yeah. But it's the urinals you struggle with. Yeah. Which I think it's fair, isn't it? It's weird, isn't it? It's weird. It's a that it. It's a. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, you. It's like, like, you. It's good next next next. It's good next. It's good. It's good. It's like, like, like sent you that picture, Rob. Of what? Two toilets next to each other. Oh yeah, that's weird, isn't it? That must, why have they done that? Two normal toilets next to each other. Anyway, I have always had to take a friend to the toilet with me to put on the hand dryer. Also, if I don't have anyone to do their to toe of fingers fingers fingers fingers fingers fingers fingers fingers, toehea, toease, to to to to to to to to to be eyes eyes, to be eyes, to be to be to be to be to be to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able, to be able to be able to to be able to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their, their, their their their their toe, toe, to be toe, toe, toe,. I would suggest to Katie Sugarman to play some sound on your phone. Have you ever been in a toilet where in a cubicle, when it's taken a bit longer and it's

one of the ones where the light comes on through movement? Yeah, I've tried material on this, Rob. And you have a poo in the dark? Yeah, I've tried material on it on it on it on it on it on it on it on it on it on it on it on material on it on their material on their material on their material on their material on their material on their material on it and it and it and it and it and it and it and it and it and it and it and it and it and it and it their material on the their th. their material on, their their their, their, their, th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. to to th. th. th. the. to the. to to to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the the to the to the the thoooooooo' the. their the cold. Yeah it's weird what they laugh at it. And do you know what? I'm about to start stand up again in January. I saw it in my notes the other day and I thought I'd have another go at that because and then when you said it then I thought it's gonna send the room cold again. It's gonna work. It's not gonna work. You have to wave your arm about. Yeah you have to wave your arm about I the I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I the the their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I th tho. I tho tho tho tho thoo thoo thoo tho tho thoo tho the other tho the the the I just think they need to set it longer. Also, I feel like, should I be putting more into my poos? Yeah, people are moving around. Are they pooing like they're jumping up for a header?

Have you ever been on one of those ones where it's outside the thing? So it's not even within the cubicle, the fucking sensor. And you have to sort of like throw a throw throw throw throw throw throw to throw to to throw a throw to throw to to throw to throw a throw to throw to throw throw to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thoom, tooom-a tooom, tooom, tooom, tooom, to to to to to to to tooom.. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho. tho. tho. top a bit like a football fan. Like a football fan? Anyway, yes, I hate those and I think they should be banned. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, and then you wipe your ass by torch generally, don't you from your phone? I've got another bit of a stuff here, Josh. Hi, Rob and Josh. Rob mentioned in the podcast that he's been trying to get rid of the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the but the kids get upset we had the same problem my tip is you can buy empty

bean bags and you can fit loads of teddies in them it keeps him out the way gives a nice extra seat in the bedroom and they still have them. Oh that's clever. That is clever Nikola. That is clever Nicola. I like it Nicola. I just think I'll end up sitting on not one of the hard noses of a bear. Do you know what I mean? You've got a position, we'll head down ass up basically, them Teddies. Do you know what? Might be quite nice, Rob? Just a little bear's nose. What up your bum? Keep you on your toes, just tickling your balls.

To have little barars, to have little your bottom? It's a no-go area. Has it always been a no-go area? It's never really come up, no pun intended. Sure. In the sense of, I've never had to turn down the offer. Right, okay, so nothing's ever been up there or offered to go up there. No, I'd say. It might be your favorite. The women that I tend tend to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get te te te te te te te te te to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. together with are so sexually pedestrian because they've chosen me in the first place. I'm just saying though it might be your favourite you don't know to you try do you Josh? I don't know what about you Rob? Not for me. Just not at my age of my diet.

There's enough problems going out of it, never mind going in. It's pretty much a one-way street. Did we feel younger even at the start of when we were doing parenting hell? Yes, because our kids were younger and we was in denial. Now I'm just fully accepted that I'm on the decline and I'm just trying to grind it out. Now Josh, I got parenting. Hi Rob and Josh, we have a little boy called Arthur, who's three next month. We're hoping to move house for more space this year.

I went to a fancy show home on a new build estate near us at the weekend. The salespeople let us into the showroom to look around on our own before going back to the downstairs toilet and I called over for her to test if it flushed first. However, she hadn't heard me and sat him down. He started his wee before she tested the flush, which inevitably did nothing. The water was off and the plumbing hadn't been connected. This was a show home. Oh no. To my horror, Arthur then proceeded to do an enormous adult-sized poo into the unflushable toilet. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh th. Oh th. Oh the th. Oh th. Oh the th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh the th. Oh, th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the th. Oh, the the th. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. the th. th. th. the the th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the. the. the. theat theat theat theat theat theauu. Hee hasn't theat theat poo into the unflutterable toilet. Oh my god, no. Oh my god, no.

My wife found this hilarious, but I immediately panicked about how I would explain its an enormous poo while attempting to make a serious financial offer. Eventually I concocted a plan... Well, the valley of the house has gone down. Look, mate, let's call a spade, it stinks a shit in here, you're gonna gonnato have to knock ten ground off. Eventually I concocted a plan which meant me scooping my child's poo from the show home toilet with my hands using a dog mess bag into a separate bag for life which I then smuggled into our car. Oh my god. I couldn't get it through the sales pattern knowing what awaited them after we left. their their their th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I couldn't get it through the sales pattern knowing what awaited them after he left. Tom from Eastbourne, keep up the good work. Oh that is horrible. Oh my God. What a horrible thing to have to do. Yeah, I had a story about someone who'd been on a sitcom or a drama or something. And the toilets are not on the set, they're not connected. And on the first day the runner first day in TV

done a shit in the toilet. Also as well a runner is the entry-level job is sort of like the first job in telly you basically do whatever needs doing coffee runs telling people what you know having a shit in the toilet oh my god he or she didn't come back for the second day. He didn't come back for the second day. Did it he? He's done a runner. Do you know what?

TV's not for me. That's it. That's it. Do you know what it was. I think it's, 10 years ago. If you're listening in that shoot, let us know what became of you. Yeah. He's now selling new builds in Eastbourne. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. But a terrible day the other day, brought that memory.

We've got driving test fails, Josh, after Scarlet Moffett. Oh yeah. Hello you sexy, the episode of Scarlet Moffitt and listening to your driving test stories and thought I'd share a few of my test stories with you. I had seven tests before I passed and in the days when I was learning, the examiner asked you to read around a number plate as you walked out the test center to your car just so he could know you could see. Then after the driving test he asked a few questions from the highway code book. Yeah. After one of my tests, the examiner asked, what signs would you expect to see on country lanes, which are applied, free range eggs for sale. Yeah, it's the classic. It's the absolute classic. Lovely stuff. So he said no, let's try another one. What should you look out for on country lanes?

Pickery-way, wild strawberries. To which I replied, hedgehogs. Apparently it was pedestrians as there are no paths. Who knew? That's so vague. I'm not saying hedgehogs is right. No, when no one's saying that. And I'd say, if in doubt on your driving tests, always look out for pedestrians. Yeah. If in doubt, other cars are pedestrians.

I'd say whenever driving. Yes, I know, but obviously, if you're trying to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to try to try to to try try to try to try to to pass to to pass to pass to pass to pass to pass to pass the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their pe. their pe. their pe. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoes. thoes. tea. teaugeaug. teaug. teaueaug. teaueaueaug. tean. teaug. teaue. tho. thean. the know, but obviously if you're trying to pass a test, if you don't know what to say, just say pedestrians, it'll never be hedgehogs. Yeah. I find, and I say this is someone who spent a lot of time walking on country lanes. I find the fact you have to walk on the right tents. You're supposed to walk into the traffic, aren't you? Yeah. So that you can see it and jump out. I think we might have done this, talked about this before. Do email in if we have, but I find it too tense. I'm still too scared.

We've got a lovely country pub that's about a 10 minute walk from ours. Still too scared to walk a citizen of the world. And, you know. I took my bins out the other day, yeah? I thought I was getting jumped. I thought there was a gang of people jumping me and going to kidnap me. Do you know what it was? What? Three did? Run past me.

I absolutely shit myself. I just stood there, tent by the bin as they run past a bit like you know in Jurassic Park yeah we're not supposed to look at the velociraptors in the eye they're massive they're massive Josh yeah of course they are I thought I could beat up a deer I don't think I can no well not three of them not with the big antlers I think actually might be easy with the antlers because you could grab them and just launch them like spin them I think I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th I th I th I thi thi thi they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're more pesky without anything to grab on to, do you know what I mean? They're terrified. Anyway, this is more this lady that said headshogs. She's still failing? Yeah, she's useless. Tina from Essex is all over the place. On my driving test, doing my three-point turn, I said, whoops, I think I hit the curb.

To which the examiner replied, the th several times. I was really pleased that before I overtook all the parked cars I remembered my mirror signal maneuver mantra and made a real show of looking in the mirror before indicating but as I was about to maneuver the examiner slammed on the brakes and asked what I was doing. Apparently there were temporary traffic lights and the park cars were just waiting for the traffic lines to change the green. Oh my God! I was about to overtake them all. I hadn't noticed the lights.

Oh my gosh. Another one here, I had to pull over and he took the lights. Is that the same woman? It's the same woman. And these are on her took the keys and walked back to the test center. I had to pull over and he took the keys. Yeah, I've heard about that. And we had to walk back to the test center. And my driving instructor had to walk back to the car. He said, I was a danger on the road and didn't rebook me for any more lessons.

That was a bit of a low point. Even on my final test when I passed, I managed to click one of the side mirrors going through the restriction markers on the road. Fuck it now. Passed! But you'll be pleased to hear that my driving has improved over the years except when I'm listening to you guys. I've been known to miss two turn-offs on the M25 and ended up on the Q2 bridge and on my way to Kent. Tina in Essex, fingers crossed she stays in Essex. My kids are grown up now. Faking it. Luckily, they survived. Brilliant. Car journeys. Yeah, tina.

Tina. tina. Brilliant. A great-up-Auntie. Tina. Yeah, I like the name Tina. I've got auntie, I've got auntie, auntie, definitely in the top two. Top two. Well, I don't say the other ones. Well, don't say the other one isn't top one and they can all presume they are. I'd say top two arnies. Hi, Rob and Josh, this is called Beast of Bodmin, Stoke Tallman, Strollman, I've been meaning to message for a while. incoming. A few weeks ago you're talking about the beast of Bodmin and whether it exists. The answer is yes, there are big cats in the wild all over the southwest. My husband saw a black panther outside a village on Dartmoor a couple of months ago. It's as scary as it sounds. So as a man that shut himself when he saw some deer, how would you react, Rob, if a black panther? I would try and take a photo. If it was daytime, if a day. If a themmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmahahahahahahah. the to, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the, the, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, today, today, today, today, that, that, that, that, their, their, their, their would try and take a photo. If it was daytime I'd be more confident.

Yeah. I always get scared at the night time. Yeah, of course yeah. You can see where you go and it's so dark in the countryside isn't it Josh? Oh yeah. It's so dark. You can see the stars. Yeah, I've seen some lovely stars. So if it was safe I'd take photos and video evidence. Because I'm a big believer in the beast. the beast. the beast. the beast. the beast. the beast. the beast. the beast. If. the the the the the the th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's. thi. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. to. to. to. to. I's. Yeah. I's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's. I's. Yeah. I's. Yeah. I's. I's. I's. I's. Yeah. Yeah. I's. I's. Yeah. I's. Yeah. I's. Yeah. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. t. I'm. I'm. t. I'm. I'm t. I'm. I'm t. I'm. I'm a big believer in the beast of Bodmin. However I would, I think if I was taking the bins out and I saw a Panther I'd empty, I've got one them big bins, you know the big ones, wheelie bins, I'd empty it all and get in the bin and hold it shut. Yes. And then I'd ring Lou and say drive to the bin, let me know when you're gonna buy the panther's gone, I'll get out the bin and get in the car. But I'd hide in the bin until she came. Should we do a couple more? Funny things your kids brought into school?

Yeah, come on. As a teacher, I once had a little girl fall over, and when she landed, something started to vibrate in her pocket. No. Thinking she brought her parents' to toy. Oh my God. She placed it onto my open hand and said I didn't know... Open hand. She placed it into my open hand and said I didn't know lipsticks could do that. I just keep a very strays face while disgusted it was in my hand, and gave it to my in brackets,

male head teacher to hand back listening to you on the way to school and as a teacher can relate to so many stories. Thanks for bringing all the joy, thanks Chelsea. We had this before about a cockering, didn't we? It's got to go into a jiffy envelope. Yeah, I think so. theyver,, I think so. But I don't think I could be that professional. No.

I think I'd say something. Well, I think I'd just wink. Oh, I think that's creepy. Yeah, that is creepy. That's worse, actually. I'd turn it on in the bag and I bet bet to hold over my dad's head dates back to 1990. When I was about two and my mom had just started working from home as a caterer. One day my mom had a big John to cater for, so my dad kindly offered to get me out the house by driving me down to the coast of the day in his old classic car.

Fortunately about an hour from home his classic car broke down on the side of the road. And as this was before mobile phones, my dad had no choice, other to try and fix the car himself. For the next hour or so, my dad, who was not a mechanic, tried to repair the car while I apparently slept in the car passenger seat. During this time, a family friend who sees my dad broken down on the side of the road, pulls over, kindly offers to me to the try and to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to repair, to repair, to repair, the to repair, the to repair, the the car, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, the car, to repair, repair, repair, repair, repair, repair, repair, repair, repair, repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, repair, pull, repair, repair, repair, repair, pull, to repair, repair, repair, to repair, repair, repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, to repair, the to repair, the the the to repair, the the the the to repair, the the the the the to me. And, the the the to me. And, the the to repair, the to repair, repair, to repair, to repair mom and to call a breakdown so as to come and fix the car. For some unknown reason, my dad turns the family friend down as he was convinced it wouldn't take much longer for him to fix the car. A few more hours passed by, it's starting to get dark when a couple of old ladies pull over and asked my dad if there's anything they can do to help. Probably much to that surprise my dad says yes actually would you mind taking my two-year-old home to his mother? No hands me over to two complete strangers. Get out!

Mea, my mom's finished the cake with the day and gone around to my neighbors for a bottle or two of wine when two old ladies show up holding two-year-old me. Oh my mux we just given an address. Fortunately, whilst my mom was getting married, our neighbor notices out the window, two old ladies standing outside of my parents' house, holding a baby, probably looking rather worried that there was nobody in.

All's well that ends well, and to this day, my dad says, this proves he's a good judge of character. Lovely defence batted off for a four there. Boom. Yeah. Meanwhile I often wonder what my life would have been like. And I've been brought up by these two kind old ladies. Thanks Charlie. Incredible. That is mental. It's a dangerous before Mobile's phones, isn't it?

Which is even worse in a way. Yeah, so difficult life. How would I have to get the A to Z out to work out where they lived? I imagine how old that classic car was. It was 1990, it was already classic. Cheaky small business, do we do a small business? I've just gone into it there. Let's give them a little cheeky small business. Yeah. Pump up the jam for some businesses.

For your Australian listeners, down under. I run a small business from from from from from from from fromin, rural Western Australia, creating custom engraved wooden height rulers, designed as an alternative to measuring your kids on a doorframe, etc. Good idea. Our rulers mean that you can capture all the kids' heights markers, create a beautiful family heirloom, something that can be passed down the generations. Check out our business and general family shit show on Instagram at Measure My Tribe. Lovely. Originally from northeast of England. I love listening to your podcast each week. The Ozzy Banta just isn't the same as high quality British comedy. I couldn't agree more. Thanks the laughs and keeping that homesickness at bay. I love the Ozzy Banter.

It's 40 degrees here with Christmas decorations going up. Feels all wrong. Still after 15 years. All the best legends. We could do a tour in Australia the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their after 15 years, all the best legends, Lou. We could do a tour in Australia, Josh. We can. Oh my God, sorry. Are you going to do Australia when you do your next tour? They always talk about it. And it's never happened yet. That's a big gap on it. Did you stretching? Yeah, I was stretching. All right, here we go. Hi Robin Josh. My name is Lisa, a long-time listener who would love a small business shout-up, please. I'm a self-employed, professional kitchen, cabinet, and furniture painter

based in Somerset. I cover this county as well as Bristol and Devon. My business, a twist of Somerset, has been running since 2016 and offers a bespoke painting service. So if you're looking for an affordable, personalized, and sustainable way to give a tide kitchen or piece of furniture a new and beautiful look, I'm your girl. For more information or to view my portfolio, visit my website, W.W.W.W.W.W.W.W.Twist of Somerset, co-do-it. Or you can find me on social media. Twist of Somerset. Twist of Somerset. Love it. Good luck.

Oh, lovely. Lovely bit of painting. Good photos as well. Lovely stuff. Right, I'll see you next time, Joshua. On Friday. See you then. Big day.

Big day. Huge. I'm Scott Bennett and I'm Gemma Bennett and together we are brew with the Bennett yeah say it together brew with the Bennett every Sunday a bit of humor humor together tea cup a coffee coffee coffee and chat yes it's good join us there I just noticed you always go before you say so that just listen do it again. I'm not one day I have anxiety dreams.

Oh my God. Hello, my name's Joe Wilkinson and I do a podcast with David Earl. It's called Chattabix. Chatterpix is a podcast magazine and chat show, isn't it? We're on three times a week, we have loads of guests, special guests. I to view a red arrow piloted th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to thate. thi. that-I. to to to to to to to th. Ch-I, th. Chatton, do th. Chatton, do th. Ch-a, do th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. Do, th. C. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. I's, thea. I's, thea'a'a'a'a'er. I's, thea'a'a'er. And, th. Andimes a week. We have loads of guests, special guests, surprise guests. Can I read some of the highlights? Interviewing a Red Arrow pilot. Visiting a haunted house. Chatting with Ricky Javace, Harry Hill, James Acaster and Catherine Ryan, amongst others.

Backstage at the Blur concert at Wembley. And I met my hero, Angie Rochard, and I cried. So that's Chattavix. D. Hattahah-Ch-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. Chi. Chn, that's. Chi. Chatt, that's. Chi. Chi. Chi. Chi. Chi. Chi. Chi. Chi. Chn, Chi. Chattie. Chattie. Chattie. Chattie. Chattie. Chattie. Chattie. Chattie. Chattie. Chattie. Chattie. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. H. H. H. H. R. R. H. R. I. H. R. I. H. R. H. R. H. R. H. R. H. R. H. R. H. R. H. R. H. H. R. H. H. R. R. I. I