Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S7 EP44: "Pectus Infectio"

Episode Date: December 22, 2023

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... Have a wonderful Christmas and festive season everyone!! Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm going back to university for zero dollar delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber won for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may 3, eligibility and member terms apply. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Welcome to Parents, the Show in which Josh and I discuss what is really is really is really is really is really is really is really is thiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to thi. to to thi. thi. to, thi. to, to, thi. to, to, to, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. thi. to. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to

be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener with your tips, thea, and advice, and advice, and advice, and advice, their, and advice, their, and advice, their, and advice, their, their, and their, their, and their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and, and, their, their, their, their, their, and, and, and, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with Ruelly, can you say Rob Beckett? And can you see Josh Whittak? Do you see Josh Whittak?

Yay. There we go. Is our first, our first? Yeah, it's, I don't know if it's our first. But it's Glasgow, yeah? It's Glasgow, yeah. Gosh, are you that good at telling different Scottish accents? Do you know what it is?

Kevin Bridges. I feel like, I've said I'm good at this game yeah and I've not proved it but I think I was just too head up it's heading towards Christmas I'm finished for Christmas we're recording this at 8 a.m. for no reason we've just found out yeah unbelievable 8 a.m. on Wednesday the 20th of December I thought you need to do it early for something yeah don't you thou to do it early for something I don't Michael certainly didn't need to do it to do it to do it this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th th th th th th th th th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th. th. the the thus. the the the the the the to me me me me me me me me me. to be. to be. I to be. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm to be. I'm. I'm to be. I to be. I to be. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be. I to be. I to be. I to be. I'm to be. I'm to be. I'm to be toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. toe. toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. certainly didn't need to do it this early. He thought it was us. So we're all awake at 8 a.m. and we're listening to Glaswijian say our name. Welcome to the show. Oh let's find out about the people as well. Rudy. I think that is spelled R-U-A R-I-D-H. I don't think that. pardon? She said Rudy didn't she, let's just listen again. Let's just listen again. God. RU-A-R-I-D-H. Yeah, it is Rudy. R-U-A-R-I-D-H. Is that a Celtic name? I started listening to the podcast in earlythe early days of maternity living in 2021 and have

been hooked since. I like to pass on tips to friends from the podcast saying I heard this in a parenting podcast I listen to, then realize it makes me sound like I'm a more logical parenting than I actually am. To have to confirm it's actually a comedy podcast. Yeah, I'd say it's primarily a comedy podcast. Well no, look, I'd say it's th th th the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's primarily it's primarily it's primarily it's primarily it's primarily it's primarily it's primarily it's primarily it's primarily it's primarily it's primarily it's primarily it's primarily thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's primarily thi. It's primarily thi. It's primarily thi. It's primarily thi. It's primarily thi. It's primarily thi. It's primarily thi. It's primarily thi. It's primarily it's primarily it's primarily thi. It's primarily thi. It's primarily thi. It's primarily thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. to make it a comedy podcast. I'd argue that the listener decides. Yeah. How's it spilt again?

R U, A, D, I D, D, H. Oh, she's actually in Balak, in brackets 40-minute drive from Glasgow, it's Glasgow, isn't it? Right, can you tell me that spelling again? I'm going to find out I'm guessing it's Gaelic. R U A R U A R I D H. I D H. Right, okay. Yeah, there's a few actually. It's a couple rugby players of it. It's an anglic, anglicis, anglican anglic anglic. Anglican anglicis. Yeah, did you get that and you're not reading it? Of the Irish Rurari, Rudari and Scottish Gaelic. It's pretty Scottish actually.

It's pretty Scottish. Who knew? That's really Scottish actually. Rob, yeah, go on. I've had the worst start to the Christmas holidays since the year I got COVID. No. Talk to me that bad. How could it be that bad? It's been atalk to me. How could it be that bad? It's been a fucking shocker from moment one.

Okay, go on, talk me through it because I hit you with two episodes in a row of my life. I've written down, this is fucking madness. A bit of light before that. Is everyone that healthy and safe? Yes. Okay, were they all healthy? I wasn't healthy at one point. I know that you've got pre-existing stuff I'm talking about new things. Pre-existing stuff is the stuff that can kill you. Well, yeah, anything could kill you really, can't it? As you might see. Okay. A bit of light first. Oh, come on. My daughter and a friend came around. Yeah, so your daughter's friend came around. She still lives with you doesn't. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi thi. I'm tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I I I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm toe. tooooooooooooooooooooooe. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm th. I'm th.ibly wanted to go to the park. I couldn't believe it. So your daughter's friend came round, she still lives with you, doesn't she?

It's not being that better. Yeah, yeah. Nice to see my daughter's Christmas. She'd come around to the new flat. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, when I said them up in a bad Christmas, I've got no Wi-Fi roses left me but apart from that my 4G should manage on this call. 8 a.m. is fine for me actually because I've got nothing to do today. I've been up all night crying. I keep playing rave music until about 7 a.m. So I can just crack straight back on there and then were doing the fire, you know that fireman's pole? No, no.

You know you get a fireman's pole in a park. Oh, like, like, it was part of the play area, yeah. Yeah, and my daughter and friend came up to me because I was looking after my son away from them. Yeah. And they said, do you want to come and watch us dothe poll show? It was just sliding down. It wasn't exotic.

It wasn't. No. I tell you what my daughter said in Wagamamas out loud, right? She's quite loud by youngest. At the top of her voice, she's trying to do chopsticks, yeah? And she went, how do Chinese people do this? That's not bad, but it felt so bad. I felt like, it's actually a Japanese restaurant, but yes, Chinese people do use chopstick as well.

How do the Chinese people do this? Sorry, go on. Okay, I'll go from the start. Go on. We were flying into it, Rob. Middle last week, yeah, when school was breaking up. Also, you had to stress a week because you had to host last leg, because Adam Hills... Well, this is when it all starts, this is when it all starts, Rob. Okay. Tuesday, Christmas show, incredible. Incredible find out. No.

Here's a key question. Would you have watched if your child wasn't in it? I think that would be a weird arrestable offense. No, no, no, forget that. There's no suspicion. You're there as a lover of theater. I wouldn't have gone to the West End. No, okay.

But what I would say in its defense, because they were doing some real Christmas classics. Yeah. At the end of the day, if you like Mariah Kerry, you like Mariah Carey at the end of the day. Fair enough. By the way, if there's noise in the background, it's Lou, trying to get the kids ready to go to... No, no, it's all good. It's all good. Look. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the end. At the end. At the end. At the end. At the end. At the end. At the the end. At the end. At the end. At the end. At the the the the the the the the end. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At. At the end. At the end. At the end. the end. the end. the end. the end. the end. the the the the the the the the the the end. the the end. the the end. the end. the end. the end. the end. the end. the end. this is Lou's plan this week because I've got little bits of Bob's of work is to get him out the house early and exhaust and then bring them back and then they can land the safe and watch telly. So she booked softplay for 9.m. to 9.m. but I don't know if that's mental but also it would be empty but it's a quarter past eight. She's to get them ready so so if there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's their there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's their their there's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they's they's they's they's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their had been silent and I could have helped to get them ready so this is actually I'd say the worst hour of the day for me to do this but we're here now right it's Wednesday it's Wednesday the 13th it's the Christmas fate lovely I spoke to you at the Christmas fate on the phone didn't I yeah we can talk about that if you want so the Christmas fate I I was I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I I was I was I was I was I was I was I'm the I was I'm thea. I thea. I thea. I thea. I thea. I the I the I the the Christmas fate, I was on the Guess the Weight of the Bag store.

Right. East London, what is it? Gram, two grams? Ha ha ha ha ha? An eighth? No, it was a bag of 200 quids worth of stuff and then for the kids, how many sweets in the box? And guess the name of the elf. So a lot of admin for for that. You just take names and details is sort of like a census. Rob, most people have be doing an admin mate. Something came over me.

Go on. I was like, I was like, I was like, the star on the first week of the apprentice. You was getting people to the store and you was giving it. I was like, mate, you look like the kind of person who wants to guess the weight of a bag. Oh, I didn't want to win two under quid or stuff. Then I went rogue. Yeah. Once it wasn't people around our stall. I was walking around the fate bringing people to our stall. Oh, you're soliciting. My dad runs a stall in Totness market, Rob. Yeah, I've got turns of front? Was he doing like Tom Skinner's your chat, Bosch at the end and stuff? Well I was all like, it's three quid and you win 200 quid? And also I bet you're giving it a bit like, you could pair of them trainers they're worth, 200, come on. Get your money out, tell you what? Tell you what? You must have been to the gym. You know the the the the the the gym. You know the gym. You know to know the gym. You know the gym. You know the gym. You know to to the gym. You know to to the to to to the to the to to to the to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. th. thin. th. th. thin. th. thin. th. the. the. thin. th. th. th. th. It's is th. It's th. obviously I think I'm coasting towards Christmas. Yeah we've done the new year in Christmas special the last leg. They're in the back. When are you supposed to be finishing then this is the 13th when you done for Christmas? The last leg was the Friday. Oh so Friday so you've got

quite a big gap. Oh that's brilliant okay so it's quite yeah I've got one voiceover which was meant to be on the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. Yeah. Yeah. So, th. So, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.this. They were the only things I had in. So I was like, this is the first Christmas, I'm coasting in. I'm coasting in. Then it turns out Hilsie's got COVID. Yeah. So a last leg that's got three guests. Also, our Dick of the Year thing, which we do every year, which takes up half the show, you the show, you, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show you barely have to write for the last one Rob. Fair enough so this is a easy hills he gets on does his stuff yaddy yada yada you're on the beach

you're on the fucking beach. Couple of jokes about swell a bravaman and before you know it's Christmas. You've got a cup of slur on the go because you don't drink anymore you're flying. I know how to enjoy myself. A can of fizzy water. Yeah. Anyway, San Pelly Greeno for Christmas, you normally have Highland Spring, you're flying. You're good to go. Hilsie's not hosting, suddenly panic stations the whole week's very, very stressful. Yes. But we get through it. Can I talk about when you rang me from the fate? Yeah, yeah. You didn't sound like a man that was bossing life as a market trader. You rang me like you were on a ship that was sinking in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. And my favorite bit was when you were begging your daughter to be quiet so you could talk

to me. Just please, just let me talk, please. I've got into more that. I've got to stop begging them. But you did beg her you literally begged her to let you talk. Please just please. She lost it of me more than she's lost at me before two days ago. She's just on her first karate belt she's got a different belt now. She's got me at that tune. She's on the roids. She started having to out me. She's really angry. Yeah. And she said, I'm gonna use my karate on you.

Oh. It was so difficult not to laugh. Yeah, but I reckon your daughter with karate skills could beat you up at 10. Oh definitely, yeah, I think so. I think you're staring down the barrel of a beat down at 10 years of age if she continues with this progress. Yeah. So Wednesday, I'm still looking like a good week. In the evening it's QPR versus Plymuth Rob. Yep. I get to go. Got tickets and directors box. Oh, oh. Yeah. You're high-flying in a director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director's the director's box. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the director. the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. the the You, High Flying Exec, Christmas week. Went the director's box. Plymouth all over them, got a player sent off after 25 minutes. Yeah.

But because of our incredible team and manager, we get a point. Nil-nil, incredible night. Judge, at a moment, apart from a little bit of extra work, this sounds pretty lovely. Yeah, yeah. It's going, it's going. Thursday. You're still on a bit of a high after the initial news about Hillsy, you're back at the football, you're loving life. Fine, yeah. Thursday, I start to feel unwell. Oh no. Yeah. But I think it's fine, it'll pass. Obviously do a COVID check because I think I'm going to have COVID when Hilsie got COVID. No COVID. So first

Friday. Friday Friday. Last COVID. So first day for Friday, last lag, by this point I'm feeling incredibly rough. Do the last lag, goes well, we get two people to present swell and rather than with the Dick of the Year Award. Yeah. No one could I establish it. It's one of her constituent parishioners or whatever you'd call them what AIDS, throws one of the microphones into the water. Oh did they? Four grand, a microphone. Oh, so they're a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. tho. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. their, the last. Oh, the last. Oh, the last. Oh, the last. Oh, the last. Oh, the last. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. tho. tho. th. tho. th. tho. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. knew? Oh, so they threw that in the water? All a bit of fun. How didn't that go in the video? It was talked about but they didn't have footage of it. Oh, right. I saw the clip. Yeah. Pranks stresses me out, Rob. I wasn't. I hate pranks. Also, they scurried off. I that. I think that's a dicker. the the the the the the the the the the dick of the the dick of the the the the the the the the the the the thic of thic of thic of thic of thic of thic of thic thic thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.'ve got to be kidding me? Come up. Me! Also, I just sort of feel like, these are real people, aren't they, these politicians? Even though they're doing like mad shit in the moment. But like, she's gonna have, like, Christmas and they're like, do her mates come around and just not talk about it

and they're on side? they've sort of drunk the coolade and they're like, yeah, she's trying to do this, do that. Or do they just not talk about it at Christmas? Like, I don't know. People come at Christmas, they'll go, oh, I saw you and Romish in Lapland. Yeah, yeah. I saw you try know is the answer. Do you know there's got to be a bit of banter at the Christmas table of, pass me the gravy boat? Whoa, hold up, Suella. Practice what you preach? Preach. Stop that right there. See, here we go. He's not been on Mot the Week for 10 years,

but he's still fucking got it. Yeah, faster boat. I'd have got loads out of that gravy stuff. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the gravy. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, ttttttttttttttttttttttttot. ttttttttote. Oh. Oh. Oh, to. Oh I didn't even notice that. They'll sort out in the edit. Yeah, yeah, exactly. They'll just cut to Andy Parsons and you can you can re-record it. Preach. So there you go, Michael can use that. I think that's how I said it. If we edit that bit back in and when you say it, people go that sounded weird. And then the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that sounded weird and then the show will continue people know that's what happened. Anyway so Friday I get the show done I'm feeling unwell but I'm like it's Christmas it's happening I get in the car I'm feeling really unwell and then I get a pain in my back. Right not my normal pain to my back. Yeah. You got love eggs in? You normally do that around Christmas don't you? That's not pain, Rob. That's not pain. That's pleasure. I mean

pleasure. Just knit that in for me please, Michael. I get a stabbing pain. Oh no. At the bottom of my lungs every time I breathe in. What? It feels like I've pulled a muscle in my back and breathing in is making that muscle. Yeah, it's either that or you're dying. Yeah, one of the two. I get home. I'm like, I pulled a muscle. All I need to do, I'm going to lie on the floor of the sitting room. Obviously raise the sleep. the th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, th, th, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, the tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the tho, the the tho, the tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th is thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the, theeeeeeeeeeeeeean, thin, theeeeeeeean, theeeeean, theeeean, thee going to lie on the floor of the sitting room. Obviously, raise the sleep, it's about half 12, and go lie on the floor of the sitting room. Yeah, just do some calm breathing. It'll probably... Yeah, you've been a bit anxious and it's like, I always find, I always get ill, like you've been working loads up until Christmas, so yeah. So I've done my stuff down, go into the sitting room the sitting the sitting the sitting the sitting the sitting the sitting thi sitting thi sitting thii stuff, I to to thi stuff, I to to the sitting to thi, I to the sitting to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thu. thi, thi, thi. thi. the, just thi. the an the an the an thi. toooooooooooooooooo the muscles really in pain. I'm like, I'll just lie down. It's really difficult to get down, but any pressure on that area.

Right. And I managed to get down on my hands and knees. But every time I'm breathing in, I'm going, ah! Ah! And I get onto my hands and knees then I realize I'm stuck. I can't get down any further and I can't get up and I'm just stuck on all fours of my hands and knees. Right. Kind of go, ah, in like severe pain. Are you aching it on?

Was it that bad? Rose got woken up by it. Poor Rose. She texted me and she was like, are you all right? What's going on? Love X? Question mark. Should I come down? Honestly, Rob, it was fucking mental. I was on the floor of my sitting room.

Hands and knees. And just couldn't move. I was stuck. Right. So what did you do? How did it? It took about five minutes. I couldn't get down to lying. It was just a write-off. Yeah. It took about five minutes to get back up to walking. Did Rose come and help you? No, because I couldn't really reply to the text. I didn't want to shout because my son is in the room, yeah kind of half-landing before us so it would be, yeah. To speak to Rose would wake him. Right, fair enough. Get upstairs. Did you have a fall? No, but I'm saying, but I'm saying that it feels like someone who's had a fall who's stuck. No, I basically, I just kind of... Here he goes. I just got down. Right. And I had to get down like that.

Like, just so there's no ever fresh on that muscle. Yeah. And then once I was like that. Right. Josh is on his hands and knees now. I just couldn't move. I was just fucked. Just forever. First night of prison style, yeah? What happened? I go up, I get in bed, and I just lie back, and it subsides a bit.

But I can't sleep on my side. I'm like, this is weird. We're like 40 and 37. Can you imagine what this podcasters can descend into when we're like 62? It's fucking rental Rob. Oh, what happened? I was like, oh, God, I went for a piss, blood everywhere. Then I shit myself. How's your week? So I managed to sleep on my back. I don't normally sleep on my back, but tired, the the their, their, their, their, tired, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm sorry. And, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. And, like, like, like, th. And, like, like, like, like, like, I'm like, like on my back, I don't normally sleep on my back, but tiredness and illness, yeah, rains. So you still feel fluid and you've got this pain in your lungs. Yeah. Next morning

I wake up. Still the same. A little bit better, a bit better, a bit better. A bit better. In the morning I'm like, actually I think that's gone a bit. Yeah. And I'm feeling a bit better. So get on with my day. And as the day goes on, the pain returns. And this time it's in the front as well as the back. And I'm like, I'm not sure this is a pulled muscle. Yeah, it should be spreading. So I go to A&E. Of course you do. Jealous of my story was you? I've started going. You've got jealous

did you? Not been for a while. Get it down there, get your favourite to seat. Well it was nice to go through the adults bit. Oh yeah, you normally the kids bit. Yeah, it was a rare treat to do it as an adult, on your own. Also, as an A&E veteran, Rob? Yeah. I was like, I haven't got much charge on my phone. I know I'll be there a while. They send you urgent care first now, don't try and funnel you off to a GP

if it's just like you've got, if there's a kid with a really bad chest infection. But how do they know? You've already turned up, haven't you? He goes to surgeon case, you see a nurse, and then they either send you to A&E or you wait their arm off. No, I tell you what Rob, I went straight through. Did you? Yeah because I had breathing difficulties. Oh, it's like having a fucking golden ticket breathing difficulties. You imagine that you've sprained

your ankle. Yeah I've sprained that uncle but also I can't breathe in properly. Yeah. So probably let's get both looked at quick. I was breathing. I was breathing about 20% of my lungs. thi they they th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. It it. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. Oh. It's, it. Oh. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I'm like, th. th. th. thi's like, it's like, it's like, it's. Was it an asthma thing? No, it wasn't an asthma thing. They kept saying that you fill in an iPad now with all your things. Yeah. I then go through, straight through, bang, because of my breathing difficulties. Barely got to read the book that I brought because I knew I'd have a long weight. And then they were like, is it asthma? No. There was a lot of chat of blood clot on the lung at one point. Oh, don't want that for Christmas. Not ideal, is it? I'd rather have in the leg. That's not ideal, no one was.

Excuse me, I really wouldn't like to have blood cotton and lung actually. Can we not talk about that one? I know, that's at the gym and pulled my muscles that would be great. I had an x-ray, I had a chest x-ray, all fine, well not really. End of the day, yeah, I've got a chest infection and I've given antibiotics. Funkin L mate. What? It's really bad. What? What? I've had chest infections before. I've not gotten all fours and gone to hospital. What exactly?

I've had chest infections before. This is... This is... The chest infection has led to that. I thought there was gonna be, I thought it was gonna be another reason. I was hoping for a bigger name to it than chest and feet. I mean, I think when you found that out, you must have felt a little bit deflated.

Well, no, no, no, of course, you know what that, but you want something else juicier to go home. Josh has gone to hospital to hospital to hospital to hospital to hospital to hospital to hospital. to hospital. to hospital, just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just but you want something else juicy to go home. Josh has gone to hospital. What is it? Just a chest infection. See you that, girls. Just talk to my friend who's been very under the weather. He's had a chest infection.

You know the thing you had but went to school, yeah. Anyway, have a lovely day. After soft play. Honestly, Rob, when I got that, they were genuinely very concerned because I didn't have enough oxygen in my blood. Right, okay, because it was so bad. Because I've been breathing so shallow. But that is bad. I'm sorry it was on well.

It's not ideal. Yes, I'd say if you've been on all fours with severe pain to the point you've woken your wife up and then gone to hospital and it is a chested. Did they say it was a really bad one? Well yeah it was a really bad one. Yeah. It was of the pain in my chest. It was fucking awful. Right in if you've had a chest infection that's left, you're unable to get up from all fours. It was so painful. No I'm not saying it's not. In the car back from the last leg, I looked fucking mental Rob. Because I was squirming in the seat. Like a dog of an itchy ass.

Yeah, it was awful. But it was just, I was expecting there to be something else had gone on or whatever. Do you think I should have used the Latin? What is the Latin for a chest infe? I don't the th. googled it and then I can release. I've got a little thing called... Obviously it's a very bad infection, but I thought it might have been something else, but I'm glad. Yeah, the pectus infectio. The pectus infectio. I've got a little thing called pectus infectio. Anyway, Friday morning before last leg. I've thro. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've tho. I've tho. I've got got got got got got got got got got got got got got got got got got got got got got the tho. I've got got got got got got got got the tho. I've got got got got tho. I've got tho. I've got got the tho. I've got tho, I've left out a bit of my bad week, Rob. Okay, go on. Friday morning before last leg, Rose is looking for a box that she's kept 10 years of memories and memorabilia in. Okay. And it turns out the cleaners thrown it away with a rubbish. Oh. Yes. Yeah. That's a bad one. Yeah. That's tricky. That is bad. That is bad. That is bad. And what kind of memories is there? And. And. And. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the that is the that. that. the that is the that is that. the that. that is the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi with the rubbish. Yes. Yeah, that's a bad one. Yeah. That's tricky. That is bad.

And what kind of memories is there? Just sort of? The box of her engagement ring. The book that everyone signed at her 40th. Oh no. A book she's written in when was a baby about all the different milestones. Right, okay. And does the Kina know she did that? Yes. I think having to listen to that conversation I would be on all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. That's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. that. that. to. try. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. thi. th.. And does the cleaner no she did that? Yes. I think having to listen to that conversation I would be on all fours groaning in pain. That was pretty horrific. So that's another part of our horrific weeks. Have you seen sort of a grey box with a sort of bow on? Got a few bits in. Oh yeah yeah I've just popped in the bin when a couple of weeks ago? Yeah, horrific. Oh, well, that's not ideal. Poor Rose. Yeah. I would say that put a very dark mood on the house. On top of the fact that I was on all fours and then in hospital with quite a bad chest infection.

A Pectus infectio. One of the worst they've seen, I'd say. Sunday we go to the circus. theyn. Is it is infect. Is. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the tho. the th. Yeah. Yeah. I've. I've. I've. Yeah. I's. Yeah. Yeah. I's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. th. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. th. I. I. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. Ithe circus Rob. You went in an A&E on Saturday. Is it better already then with the antibiotics or just calm down a bit? It was painful but basically it was the option of us all four going to the circus or me staying at home with my son and I thought it would actually be easier to all go to the circus. Keep them then for me to be one-on-one with him mm-hmm does that make sense yeah I think yeah you can't take chances with pect disinfectio if can't take chances of pet disinfection trigger warning we're about to talk about father Christmas okay do you remember a couple of weeks ago the rant about the couple couple that the ki's tho th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. I tho. I tho. I tho' to to to to to to the their their to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their tho. tho. their tho. tho. they. tho. they. tho. tho. the. they. thoooooooooooooooooooooo. the the the the the the Father Christmas didn't exist. Yep. So they were there they'd listen to the episode Rob. Yeah, yeah, good. And they've have apologized? No, we had a bit of a laugh about it. Oh did you? Sure. Quite tense laugh was it?

Well, I can't say why I went invited. I'dthey like a bit of honesty. If they're listening to the episode, they can't be offended, because their one number one thing is honesty, isn't it, Rob? Exactly. Just being honest, guys. I'm just being honest, and I'd hate for us to lie on this podcast. Absolutely.

How was it they were successful day, but then Monday came along Rob. Oh no, what's happened? What the fuck happened on Monday? Oh, yeah. I'm in quite a bad way at this stage. You've overstretched yourself at the circus. I'd totally overstretched myself at the circus, feeling awful. Sometimes it's just the things that top off the weekend, yeah, that make it bad. It's not the thing itself, but it's just just just what it represents the the th represent it represents the thup it represents thup it represents the thup it represents the thup represents that top off the weekend. Yep. That make it bad. It's not the thing itself, but it's just what it represents. As I said, Plymouth drew with QPR, Monday, just before Christmas.

I spend the whole day with growing rumors that I managed to leave him to go to Stoke, Rob. Yes, Michael Schumacher. Stephen Schumacher. Yep, that's the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that Stephen Schumacher. Yep, that's the wrong one, that's the Formula One driver. I know it was a Schumacher. I'm just going to have to shut my curtains because the sun is in my eye. Hang on.

There there go. They're shutting now. You see that? Ha ha ha ha ha. That is incredible. They're not very thick curtains. They're going to stop having the sun bits coming. No, no, if anything worse that. I mean, I bought it to relax in this house, not as... Oh gosh, you know.

I would say, that's one of the best clips we'll ever pour on Instagram. Well, also it's a bit of a swag to go. I've got a that shut automatically. Didn't even stand up mate. I'd say Rob. I've got an app. No one would watch that clip and think, fucking now, he's living a good life. They go, Rob Beckett's got curtains that don't work.

Yeah, but I can shut them on an app, Rob. That's all I'm saying. It doesn't stop the sun. No, no, th. No. No. No. No. No. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. I've tha. I've to say, I've to say, I've that tho. I've to say, I've to say, I've th say, I've th say, I've th say, I've th say, I've th say, I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've that that that that that that that to say, I've to say, I've to say, I've to say, I've to say, I've to say, I've to say, I've got to say, I've to say, I've thi. I've. Yeah, you can shut them on an app, Rob. That's all I'm saying. It doesn't stop the sun. No, no, no, no, no, no. Everyone can see in and the sun gets in. Basically, they can see me and the sun comes in whether I press the button on the app or not. Exactly.

Some would argue the button's redundant. But if the the button. the button. the button. the button. the button. thua. tha. tha. tha. tha. to to tha. to to. to. to. thuk. tooomk. tooomk. tooomk. tooomk. tooomk. thuuananan't. thoomk. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the sun is. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. some pointless curtains. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But also, I'm in the worst possible position. The sun is right there. Yeah. Anyway, let's carry on. So you managed just leave in Plymouth.

I took it really badly, Rob. You messed me and said you've had the absolute worst week. I ended up in A&E. So did I last week. I had had a th. You had a blood th. You had a thage thage thage. You had a tha tha tha tha. You had a tha. You had a tha. the tha. tha. A&E. So did I last week. I had a blood caught on the lung. You didn't. You'd have chest infection in your fucking pussy. That's what happened. The cleaner? Been 10 years of memories. Do you know what? Yes, that is bad. Which was a very bad thing in the house. Yeah, I'll take that back. You've been in the tenene. You've been in the te. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the tha. the tha. tha. the tha. tha. tha. the te. te. the the te. the the the te. the the the the the the th. the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. te. te. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. te. te. te. te. te. th. te. the th. th. the the house. Yeah, I'll take that back. You've been in the A&A. You've got a chest infects. You're an antibiotics. The memories have been bined. You're at the circus. You're having to

confront the people you slagged off on the podcast the other day. Yeah. And now Schumacher's gone. the thou-Ma'a'n'er. That was, do you know what it was? After the cleaner, bined the box by mistake, and then he left, it was just too much betrayal. I don't know if I can ever trust again. What I'd say about this is, your problems today were yesterday's dreams, Josh. I know. To be in a position, to be on the last leg. Flymouth to have a manager that's good enough to move to move the to move the box to the box to the box that people that people to to the box that people that people to to the box to to the box to the box to to the box the box to to the box the box to the box the box the box to to to to be to the box the box the box to the box to the box to the box the box the box the box the box the box the box the box the box the box the box the box the box the box the box that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the. To be in a position to be on the last leg. Plymouth to have a manager that's good enough to move to. Plymouth we've got a manager that people actually want. I know. You're in the championship. I've got lungs. You've got lungs that work. If you've got a little bit of a pectus infectio going on but they still work. You've got antibiotics. You've got antibiotics antibiotics antibiotics antibiotics antibiotics antibiotics antibiotics antibiotics antibiotics antibiotics antibiotics antibiotics antibiotics antibiotics the the the the the the the the the the the the the to have the to have to have the to have the the to have to have the to have the their. I. I. I've got a to have a to have a to have a to have to have to have a to have a to have a to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have that's. I've got a that's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I that. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I. I. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the. I'm. I'm. I'm. te. te. te. te. today. today. I've. I've. I've. I've. care. All the things that are problems now. You dreamt about Plymouth in the championship, you're on the telly, you're running a fate, Adam

Hills has finally let you present the show. Come up! Well, part's two and three. Are you feeling better now though? At least you're ill because Rob? No, then Monday night. Still going? Yeah, yeah, yeah it gets you're ill. Rob, no, then Monday night. Still going? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it gets worse. Yeah. Everything rounds up. Yeah.

The insomnia comes back. Here we go. Can you remember the insomnia from last year? Yeah, I remember the insomnia. It all got too much. The stuff throwing away. Yeah, the extra work on the last leg, the pectus infectio, the circus confrontation. Was it awkward that confrontation? I know, it's fine. It's fine. Do I know these friends by the way? No, no, they're just people from school and it.

And then, Shumak are leaving. And then I just couldn't get to sleep. Oh, and then Rose went out with her friends. Yeah, and I thought I'm got a social. All right okay so now what's happened is you're a bit under the weather anxious now your anxiety is taking over again. Now you're lonely and have got no mates is that you're thinking? I was like since I stopped drinking I've just lost all friendships. Right okay and I haven't I just haven't organized anything Rob and this is your first sober Christmas isn't it? Yeah. We have organized something. We are going for a Pizza Express. Yeah, I haven't organized anything that don't include my kids Rob. My whole social life is my children. We're going to Peter Express. And then we're going to

watch Bluey. It's the fate. It's Pizza Express and Bluie. It's some Christmas lights. It's Christmas Day. When you and Rose dated, Pete's you're expressing a bluey was your dream night. Right, so that's in your head. You're not sleeping. I fail to get to sleep. I have to take a valium to get to sleep. Oh no. Because I know I've got to get up at six days, we're going to lapland UK the perfect time to be the Atlanta Pectus Infectio. I'm still in pain now. It's not gone. It's still hurt. I apologize. I think I've underestimated

disinfection. No, no, Rob. You're here to take the piss. Don't apologize. Okay, I'm full on. They can be really bad though, Pectas infectio. By the way, Rose went out twice during the Pectaio time. Right, I just left you with the kids. I could do bedtime. Yeah. Both times she gets back, understandably, pissed, because she's gone. It's Christmas week.

And if you like a drink a drink, this is piss time. I can only sleep on one half of my body, Rob. So I have to sleep facing her all night and she's breathing booze into my face. All night. You've got insomnia so you're staring down the barrel of an hour shift of old booze breath. Thinking I'm driving at 7.30 a.m. to fucking Ascot. And she's going to be hung over. And I'm not gonna sleep here, I'm just not gonna sleep. Oh God, this is a nightmare. Oh no! Plymouth I've got a new manager. And I've got no friends. I've got no friends.

I've got no social life. What am I doing with my life? Go to Lapland. It's fucking incredible. Yeah. And at your youngest, does he enjoy it? He's what, he's two and a half free? Yeah, he loved it. He took his blanket, that he loves, you know, they've got those things that he lives with, that he just takes everywhere. That's Santa, and he told him the name of it, all that kind of stuff went well. Oh, all that, all that, all that, all that, all that, all that, all that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind th. th. thi. that kind thi. thi. thi. thi. that kind thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to, to, I'm going to a leaving drinks, I'm like, do you know what, this is my social life. So you've driven to ask him about, but now you've got a night out. Four hour round, I feel fucking knackered, I feel fucked. Yeah. Just about to leave. Turns out we can't find his blanket. No. That he's had for two and a half years. So you're about to go out for your only social to leave to leave to leave the social social social social social social social social social social social social social social social social social social social social social social social social social social social social the social their their their their their their this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this social this. this. this. this. this. this. this social this is this is this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I've thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. this is this is this is this is this is two and a half years. You're about to go out for your only social event without the kids and you've lost his special blanket. Two and a half years. And we're like, he can't sleep without it. He's a fucking Lapland. This is it. I just can't believe this has happened.

And the only way you're going to get back, not only if you've got to go to go to go and do that special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special. special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special special that special special special that special special special special that special that special that special that special that special that special s sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sa sau for the their for their that special that special their their their their their their their their their their the only way you're going to get back, not only have you got to go to Ascot, you've got to go and do that special saying by the tree for the Lapland portal to open. I'm thinking, I'm never going to sleep again. My insomnia's going to come back. This is it. At least you have company now because he's not either. Rose is going to be breathing on my face. Anyway we found it. All right well. He's hidden it in an empty Christmas hamper that we've been sent. Oh my god that is stressed. Yeah. Why would you hide it? He's too young to know where he's left stuff? Yeah does that make sense? Anyway I go out to this leaving drinks. Who's leaving? Phil Harris, the Commissioner of Entertainment at Channel 4? Oh yes, oh yes, I know Phil Phil, the thi thi th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, where thi thi thee, where thee, where thee, where thee, where thee, where th th th th th, where where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where thi, where thi, where thi, where thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the theat thi's thi's this leaving drinks. Who's leaving? Phil Harris, the Commissioner of Entertainment at Channel 4.

Oh yes, I know, Phil. He created Sleves go dating. Big up, Phil. He did. Coy's paid for some fucking holidays for me, that man. Good man. Good man. Series 10. Yes, please. He send us, Slavs to go, don't you.

I get there. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm, I get there I'm like I'm not gonna know anyone. First person I see thank God Alex Horn. All right yeah. Yes that was nice and he's like this is my friend I can't remember what you said her name was. Because you couldn't hear a fucking thing. Yeah, okay. So actually your social life is going to a leaving drinks with someone you know through work. Yeah exactly that would get in your head as well, because you're going, these aren't even actually all my mates, there's other people here that are doing. This isn't me. This isn't me.

I'm just, I'm Plymuth. Shoemak has gone. I just want to sit with my friends. Yeah. This is my friend, after about a minute, I think, Alex Horn's friend is awful. She's really drunk and rude. And then she goes to go for a cigarette. I'm like, oh, who's she? And he's like, I've never met her before my life.

Oh, but you thought it was late. She was so rude. And she kept finding me in the way of mates. She was so rude. And she kept finding me in the party. I'm being increasingly drunk and rude to me. Really? And I'm like this is what I imagined being sober was like. Yeah, because I even I'm a confident person, if I'm going for like something where I don't know everyone, I still need to have a couple of beers to loosen up. Yeah. Maybe just start drinking again. I'm joking. Anyway, so she ruins it for me, I have to go home.

One point, she physically... Do you know what? This is a bad week actually. The chest infection threw me, but this is not a great week. This is not the week leading up to Christmas you dreamt of, is it? It was nice to see people. I saw people who I don't see very often. Yeah. And I saw Phil and I got to say goodbye to him.

But then I'm talking to my friend Simran. She comes up to me again, and she tries to move my arms to make me dance. And I'm like, I just can't deal with this anymore. Do you know what I've started doing? I've been just been telling people to fuck off. I was so close, Rob. You should, just do it. What's the worst that could happen? You should go, I'll Joe, can you just fuck off? I just thought, what not?

What's she gonna do? I don't know what her job at Channel 4. Yeah, that's the problem with work drinks. That's your issue there, isn't it? You might be the big boss, Rob. Oh, God. Yeah, that is a danger. So then I went home. Tell you what's difficult. Trying to get a cab in Soho at 10.30 on the last Wednesday before Christmas.

Fuck, Ignora. All sober and famous. My phone's not working either. Oh, and get this, the bit on my windscreen has broken so to stick my phone on. Right, okay. So it keeps falling out when I'm driving. I had to go the whole way to lap land with it propped on a mince pie. That's festive though. It's festive. I've got a rotting mince pie in the cup holder because it keeps my phone at the perfect height for me. to to to me. to me to me to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to be to use it to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. the the the the the the the the the the the the. It's festive. I've got a rotting mince pie in the cup holder

because it keeps my phone at the perfect height for me to be able to use it as a map. Merry Christmas. So that was Wednesday? No no yesterday it's. That was last night. That was last night. Oh Josh you've had a shit right up to Christmas. Then I got home but I slept last night. Did you? So it's a new start. And I don't feel like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I the thi. I the the the. the the the the the the the the. the the the. I the the. I the to be to be to to th. I last night. Did you? So it's a new start and I don't feel like my lungs are in pain so maybe that's a win. The antibiotics will have kicked in by now. Yeah fair play to those people in A&E respect the NHS etc. it was wonderful to watch and I said is it a nightmare on a Saturday before Christmas? And the one went, yep. And I just walked off and screamed into a pillow.

Oh yeah, I also, by the way, I went for the x-ray and she was very busy. She was like, you know, your way back to the way you were, and I was like, yeah, obviously I got lost in a hallway where every door was needed a pass to get out of it. All of them would add that magnetic lock on it. Thank you to the nurse that saved saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that saved that that the that that th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. the the the tho. tho. tho. the. Thank you to the nurse that saved me after 10 minutes trapped in the hallway with a pectus infectio. Pectus infectio. Leus infectio. Learn your Latin baby. Sorry to blather on. You had a busy few days, lots going on. Memories have been lost. Christmas confrontations at the circus. the thrown tho you got planned for the rest of the week then, Josh? What you got?

It's Wednesday now, the 20th of December. Talk me through your lead up to Christmas. Bluey. Me and you are going to, me and our families are going to have a pizza express and watch Bluy. Exactly. Stratford, Pantemine. Lovely, who's on? Don't know. Oh, should we have a look? Sunday off. I don't think it's a celeb one.

My brother's a girlfriend who's a writer, a TV writer, has written it. Jack and the beanstalk? Yeah, very excited by that. Good reviews there. Yeah, that's good to know. It says she's written it differently. It's still just a normal one. She wrote wrote th wrote th wrote th wrote enough. She wrote for succession, so I don't know whether it's going to be quite intense. Jack of the Bean Silk, to fuck off. Fuck off.

Fuck off. How's your prep for Christmas going, Rob? Sorry I had blathered on. No, no, it's all good. Well, we went to Tiv your Christmas. Yeah, I talk through that then because I haven't got time for it now. No, so we've got Bluey and thingy Christmas Christmas Eve. We're going to go to the cinema to see Willie Wonka. I'm picking up the Christmas food food on the morning.

I was going to say It's your big thing. I do my own veg and potatoes but the meat and all the sort of nice starters and snacky bits I'll get from there. This is weird though because the girls got I've been working loads up until I broke up for Christmas. The girls like dad have not seen you, I've not been working lots but yeah I know but I've been working lots but from their, apart from I'm doing this and another one of these, but they're not working working. Yeah. I'm in the house and whatever. And then they were like, oh, but you're not coming to soft play. I was like, yeah, but I've got to do this and then I've got to walk the dogs and then I'm going to go and see my week like every second and then there was like all right oh but Christmas Eve you're not coming for the dog walk with Nana

and Am so the dog walk so the dog I went no no because I'm gonna get the Christmas food but you're you said you be with us I went all right then come with me and get the food food toed and we can't make that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I'm going on the dog walk. I'm not excluding you, but someone has got to go and get the car remote teed. Someone's got to go and do the food shop and you can come with me or not, but you can't give me shit for not being there, surely. So they soon wound their fucking necks in after that. I'm really excited. This is the first time when it's been, we moved the kids' birthdays all forward a week. So it's the first week leading to Christmas where it's actually been like, oh we haven't got that much on, which is exactly

what we needed because we overbooked and do too much stuff. Yeah, it's looking quite calm. We've got some nice things booked in going out for dinner with Tom Allen and his fellow Alfie. Oh he was he. Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, the the the thi, the the thi, thi, the thi, thi, the the the thi, thi, the the th, the the th, th, th, th, the the the th, the the the the the the the they, they, they, they, they, they's they's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's they's they's the the the the there last night. Oh, was he? Yeah. Yeah, no, I couldn't go. I was coming back from Copenhagen when it was the party. So could have make it. Did you sort of mention me to all the big wigs at Channel 4 as well? Just to sort be like, yeah, like Rob's still about for work. Yeah, that. Look full to all the work coming my way at old C4. She's a piece of work. Do a small business shout out? Let's do a small business shout out. I've got a small business

shout out here Josh but for full transparency this is where I get my hair cut. That's fine. I think if we use a small business and we like them. Yeah. It's a very good way to show our support. I know I don't I don't. I don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that tho that's a very that that tho tho to to tho to to tho to to to tho to to to the to the the to the the the to the to to to to to to to to th th to to th th to th th th to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to the tho to to tho. tho. tho. tho. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to to to to to to to to the mother of the owners sent this in. I hate it. No, that's a lie. I love the barber shop. I wouldn't say that's us over-exploiting our power. To use a small business and they give them a small shower out of the podcast. Oh no, the mom has said it in as well. Just wanting to give my daughter a little shout out. She owns a barber shop in pets, Bromley, Millers at the train station by Petsford Train Station. They specialize in

scissor cuts, taper fades and beard trims. The customers always live happy with exactly what they ask for. A full consultation is carried out with every trim. What's scissor cut? Yeah, that's because there's a lot of barbers just do clippers? Do they? Around my way, mate? The amount of like shady barbers I've gone in where you sit down you haven't even finished asking what you want and they get the clippers out and basically give you an army air cut. Fucking joke. These guys love what they do, great music, great cuts and a really fun and happy environment. Genuily so Charlotte, this is her mum sent it's in though so Charlotte runs this brilliant barber shop. I love going there very polite, very kind, very professional

and it's a very good atmosphere in it. Best haircut in Bromley I'd say. Oh, there we go. Yes, we are Millers.co. At UK, get yourself booked in for a haircut if you live South East. Travel for it if you want. Yeah. I wouldn't get on a train from Wigan. Yeah, they're great.

But just save the trade, it would cost too. much. Yeah I don't think it's worth it. They also do like little facials for men as well which I've had which are amazing. Do I? Yeah. Father and son under 10 29 quid. There you go. But yeah it's a proper good aircup and they know what they're doing. Right Josh you've got another one? Yes. Hi my name is Michelle and I run a business called Find Your Spark which specializes in working with children, young people and adults with ADHD. This follows on from my own late diagnosis of ADHD at 37, so I now want to help others not go through the struggle as I did. We deliver ADHD coaching one to one and in groups across Essex as well as offer

these services online as well. Website is www.find your Spark.co. UK. Instagram at find your spark ADHD. And as a special gift, listeners of this podcast, have 10% off any service as we want to help as many people as possible. Thank you so much for making me laugh and smile. You are sexy and relatable, legends, warm which is Michelle. Yes, big up Michelle. Haircuts and ADHD, full package. What more do you want for Christmas? Josh, I'll see you at Pizza Express at 1130 a.m. in a couple of days time.

Strange time we've chosen, but there we are. That's our life these days. Well, the thing starts at one, did it? I know. What is it? It's like Italian pizzas. Some pasta. Lovely. P. the blue. the blue. the blue. the blue. the blue. the blue. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tooooooome. tooome. tooome. tooome. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooe. tooe. tooe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. to. too. tooe. tooe. tooe. Weaaaa.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.................. pasta. Lovely. Peroni if you're after it. What is the bluey?

The bluey? I've got no idea but it feels timely after Christmas. It filled a gap, didn't it? Oh dear, one till four, perfect time and straight on the rat in her own, get in bed. Yeah. New day tomorrow. Right, I'll see you. Well, have a good, well, see you on it, but on the podcast. I'll chat about about tive tive ti the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their only. their only. their only. their only. their only. their their only. theirorrow. Right, I'll see you. Well, I'll see you on it, but on the podcast, I'll speak to you after Christmas. We'll chat about Tivoli and how our Christmases went. I look forward to it. Cheers. Bye.