Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S7 EP5: Normal? Or not normal?

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Good day, mine. Go on do an Aussie accent, Josh, you can do it, can't you? Good day, mate. Yeah, I've worked with one long enough. Can you say anything else? Good day and welcome to the last leg. I'm Adam Hills. Keep talking. This week we'll be discussing... That's not how he starts the show is it? I don't know. He said something like it'd be a topical thing. The show that the show that like, this is a timeless episode but say it was a few weeks ago to say like, good day and welcome to the last leg, the show that... thee, good th is, good th is, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th......... th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. We's, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi,that uh... and you're okay Josh I'm opening a breakdown I just

wanted to do an Ozzy actin now you're working talking about the mechanics of the last legs production do you know Rob because it's so drilled down because you know when like you just watch a show you don't think of like yeah the furniture is so the same yeah and there's a bit at the start is not that round thing anymore? It's sort of individual chairs, isn't it? A hangover from lockdown. There is a hangover from lockdown. Do you know what happened in lockdown?

You know we used to all like sit on a long bench and then Hillsy would be across? And then in lockdown, you know, the guest would have to sit on the other side. sat in a fucking line. So we learn that from lockdown anyway. Yeah, it's basically a panel show that they don't, as one of commission even though they're really funny. Yeah, exactly. There we go. No one makes panel shows anymore, do they? No one makes panel shows anymore. We were there the golden age. You've snuck it in just the the panel show's. And it wasn't. It is now, the Guardian haven't picked up on it.

They've noticed. Do you know what though, Josh, it will come back around again. You know, well, it's not did actually on demand. Oh yeah. We're doing one in the autumn. We are. Do you? We're bringing about the fucking panel show. It's back! We're at the top of our game. I think that's where our best the panel show. Yeah, do you? Laughing at other people. Riffin. Oh, just going off on tangents. I love doing a panel show. It's so much fun. I don't want to have to, you know, sleep at a tent or build a little crate because Alex Hall had an idea three weeks ago, jerked me. I don't want to stand to to to to to to to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to to to get their to their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I th. th. th. th. the. the. tho. te an tean. tean. tean. tean. tea. tea. te. te. th. thean. thean. th pissed out of someone off reality TV and enjoy myself.

Exactly. I don't want to stand up. I don't want to get involved. I think you're not standing up on what the week. Oh, mate. I hated that. People always enjoy it when we talk about our experience on a panel show. Have I ever to told you be Mickey Flanagan because he was a team captain. So people don't know about the run-throughs. Run-throughs of panel shows. You basically meet

in like a church hall. Yeah. Like where you would have a kid's birthday but in central London. Where you'd have a kid's birthday and then there'll be some tables out and there'll be the main person that hosts it and then four comedians that aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't they aren't they aren't they aren't they aren't they aren't they aren't they aren't they're they're they're they're thly thly thly thly the the the the the the the the the the thrown the basically basically basically thrown thrown thrown you basically basically basically basically the basically basically the the basically basically thr-y thr-y thr-y thr-y thr-y the basically basically basically basically basically basically basically thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy you you they're basically they're basically they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theat theat thrown the thrown the the that that that that that that you. And they'd never get booked on it. It's not even like an audition really. It's just run through the round. Yeah. No. So it'll be like you who's not got 20 minutes material and then David Williams will be hosting it in the same room. Yeah, it's thinking like, oh my God, there's David Williams. Yeah. Injured track suit. Yeah. Because it's not a hall. Yeah. So I did one for David Williams' Walla' Walla' Walla's Walla' was very new, which is a Sky Panel show. I don't know if you remember it. Hosted by David Williams and about famous people. Yeah. And there was a pillar in the room.

Yeah. And they'd set up the tablain. the table. And I was unsighted from, I was, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, to, the, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, hosted, hosted, hosted, hosted, hosted, hosted, hosted, hosted, hosted, hosted, hosted, hosted, to, hosted, hosted, and, and, and, hosted, hosted, hosted, and, and, hosted, hosted, hosted, hosted, hosted, and, hosted, hosted, hosted, hosted, hosted, and, hosted, hosted, and, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the, to. the, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to audience you just have the production team. Yeah. So there were six people, David Wolley was in the middle and you couldn't even see me because I was behind a pillar. How did it go? Awfully, terribly. I remember one bit and I can't remember what it was but someone was trying to guess Bono. I can't remember why. And the clue was someone said something like, it's the most famous one of you too. And I. And I. And I, to to to to. And I, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, thi, the the the the the they, their, their, their, their, their, their, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, the, the, the, the, th. How, th. How, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. thi. th. thi. they. they. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe of you two and I said oh it's Adam Clayton who's the bass player right okay I didn't know that and it met no but that's the joke so I wouldn't get that yeah I don't total because also remember that's a voice from behind a pillar we can't see a

a voice from behind a pillar saying a name that no one had heard of I didn't laugh or get it and I'm the the. No, exactly, exactly, Robert. I don't think you can fully blame the pillow. But this is what I remember and I'm not blaming anyone, but it's ingrained into my head. That moment. Yeah, and Matthew Crosby was my team captain, right? And he didn't laugh, and he didn't laugh, understand. And the other person, yeah, so you get 50 quid for this, yeah, yeah, and you do it because it's like a practice for a panel show. Yeah, and the other person on our team was... So you don't make that mistake again? Yeah, I don't make that mistake again. And then I want to say she's called Imogenthat. Yeah Andrew Lloyd Webber on. He did cats it says it.

Why is that fun? Because wasn't that a panel show joke? Oh no it wasn't. That's a good. See why you laugh now. So obviously we all just come into town to do this for 50 quid? Yeah. And then after Imogen Lloydwebber had quite a quite a bad one as did I so I'm not casting as Persians. Did she a comedian? No. What she was there for then? Because they wanted people who could talk about life in celebrity? Right okay sure so yeah. Afterward she revealed she'd lived in New York and that she'd flown over especially for this because she tho she thoo she theu-it th thed thed thed thed thed the thoed thoed thoed thoed thoed thoed thoed thoed thoed to to to to to to they to to they tho-a tho-a tho-a they they their tho- she'd tho- she'd their their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they to to to to to to to to to to toeean. toean. toean toean toean toean toean toe. toe. theateate. She was theean thean thean they theeaned she was to be her big break in television. Oh no, and then she was still a Churchill for 50 quid. And then she was flying back and she delayed moving house because she'd wanted to do this run-through for David Williams' Walliam's Walla-Law

Fame. I just thought, this is one of the bleakest mornings of my life. This puts my Adam Clayton. We should get Adam Clayton on here. I'd get him on, you weren't having the Omy Campbell at one point. Also as well, you know, who was Angela Weber's daughter, but you was almost sick on Andrew Lloyd Weber, wasn't you, a Christmas party once?

Yeah, I was, yeah. Which you don't like that. I'm not wrestling with those problems anymore. But yeah I think I spoke about before I pushed you into the corner so he could be sick into a plant pot. Yeah. You know what? It's amazing that I carried on drinking for six years after that. That's the real madness. He kept up being sick all the way like little cowpats. Awful. So I had to put you in the way like little cowpats. Awful. Awful. So I had to put you in the toilet. And yet I didn't think then this isn't for me. Also, I didn't think it was a problem though.

That shows you the kind of people I grew up with. I know. I'm telling you, now, part of it, though, Rob. Just to say, this we're behind a fucking pillar. I wonder if you weren't catching producers eyes. I'm throwing up on a pillar. No, it's easy not to realize that you might have quite a weird relationship with alcohol when your whole industry is built around the booths.

Yes, everyone's drinking. Also what I love about this podcast is, there's probably cockneys listening'sto this thinking you're behind a massive pillow. Where you would say pillow. Isn't it having a church? It's a big white fluffy pillar? I could have done with a pillow after that. We could have done with a bucket shuffling around. Yeah. Anyway, we're here to do some correspondence. Oh no, we think that that person's name from Australia did we? Sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry. Sorry. You're just doing your weird accent. This is my son Jarvis. Great name. Jarvis.

Age six. It's one of those names though where it makes you think of one person in particular. The butler from Iron Man. Adam Clayton. That was Cocker. Jarvis. I'm listening to his audio book at the moment. He was very excited to do the intro after overhearing the podcast.

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I overhearing the podcast. I'm a late comer and have beenged three series in a month. Fucking Nora. Fair play. Jarvis is big brother to a four-year-old twin sister's Jemima and Amelia. It's been a ride and I'm truly thankful for good sleepers. Even more so after listening to some of the apps. We live in Melbourne, Australia. I'm originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally originally I I'm originally originally originally originally thololol. I'm originally I'm originally. I'm originally th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thoved. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thoved. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the. the. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the and thank you for the podcast and for the lulls Justine. Thank you Justine. Good day Poor old Amelia Jarvis Justine Jimaima and old Amelia at the end go for another J.

they run out of J. What's wrong with Josh. What's another girls name with a J? What's her name? What's her name? Justine? Justine? Justine, Jarvis, Jemima and Amelia. Oh, Julie, June? June? You can't. June's the kind of name like people like old people's names now. I think June's a lovely name. I like it. Anyway, I've got a message around Brown noise. You are. You know you said that because you listen to brown noise for like eight hours a night to go sleep. Oh note note the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin's a thune's a thune's a thu's a thu's a thu's a to to to to to to to thu- thu- thu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-s. June, June's thu-s. June's thu-s thu-j-june's thu-june. June's thun-june. June's thunneu-june. June's thunneu-sjune. June's toooo'nu-june. June's thunneu like eight hours a night to go sleep. Oh no from Spotify you can change it. So this is what this person said.

It said, tell Josh you can click on the three dots on Spotify for any playlist like the brown noise for any playlist like the brown noise and the browns like the brown. noise the playlist like the brown noise and deep sleep playlist from James Stacey and loads of other listeners. Can I also do it when I repeatedly listen to video games by Lana Daray? Why do you listen to that so much? It's just a beautiful song Rob? It's got a depth. But you've got it warping your. I don't want people to know that it's happened. Oh you listen to that when you're more doing don't you. Yeah it hasn't happen to happen recently recently recently recently recently recently recently recently recently recently recently recently recently recently that that that to that that to that to to that to to that to to that to to to that that to to that that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoooooo. their their their their tho go to? No, what are my sad songs? That is a good sad song. Video game, video. That one. Rubber did, da, da, da, da,

Rippda, did it video games. You're doing Adam Hills again? Ha ha ha ha ha. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael, your podcast has got me through many morning gym sessions. Before the topic of grandparents names when I was a toddler I decided to name all my grandparents after the color that they mainly wore. So this is when she was a today so I had blue grandma and blue granddad on then had green grandma and white hood granddad

no I'm joking. Really nice. Really nice. Really nice. Sorry I was working out as I read it. Anyway, so she had a blue grandma and blue granddad on my mom's side. This stuck for the rest of our lives and my three other siblings were forced to use the terms too. Ah. Green grandma recently died at 96. Still being called... Black grandma. What's that? Funeral? What's the black? Oh, black? th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Really, th. Really, th. Really, th. Really, really, th. Really? Really? Really? Really, th. Really, th. Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really th. Really, th. Really, th. Really. Really? Really? Really? Really? Really? Really? th. th. th. th. th. th. Really? Really? Really? Really? Really? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Really? Really? Really? Really? Really? th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Really, thi. Really, thi. Really, thi. Really, thi. Really, thi. Grandma recently died at 96. Still being called... Black Grandma. What's that? Funeral? Where? Black? Oh black, okay. Sorry, that sounded worse than it was. Yeah. Well, no, I just didn't, I don't know what you was doing, just said Black Grandma. Like a sort of Martin Lawrence film. Like the opposite of white chicks.

Green Grandma. Green Grandma recently died at 96 still being called green grandma. Thanks for being sexy and related to Brelson Auburns. Brown Grandad can be called brown bread granddad. When he dies. Yeah. That's being sensitive? No. Fine. Can I ask you some questions? Yes. I don't name some people. I want you to tell me what colors they wear generally. Okay. Yeah. Loo. Loo. Black. Black. Yeah. Romesh. Do you. Do you. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to tell me what colors they wear generally. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Romesh.

Do you know what? Carkey comes to mind. Yeah, Carkey that's good. Blue carkey green kind of color. Yeah. Me? Blue and white stripes. Yeah.

Okay. Anyone else? Yeah. The entertainment industry works like you sort of if we chat about things people might find entertaining or interesting. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, yeah, sorry. And in deck. So Navy blue, should we stop this? Yeah, it's good for a bit. Yeah,, your wife and the two people you work with. That's what we've gone through. Okay, here's one, Tom Allen.

Tom Allen. Well, he primarily wearing navy blue in his suits, isn't he? I think of him as grey suits, though. Do you? Yes, I do more. Now, yes. What is your view on whether we should do more correspondence? 100%. That's a lovely bird I can hear.

You're not allowed to say those things these days, Rob. But yeah, Rose has just got him. Do you know what most about that? You committed? Yeah. Because what dangerous at the moment is, is, is, is, is, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that that that that that, that that, that that that's that's that's that's that's that's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that, that, that, that that that that th that that thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi the the the the theiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii thoooooooooooooes that's thooes that's that's that's the most about that? You committed? Yeah. Because what danger is at the moment is when you do little jokes like that that could be like playful, sexist jokes like that, obviously it's a joke. That wasn't it. No, no, it isn't.

But because everyone's a little bit tense that you, no one's fully committed to anymore and respect that and it was good and well done. Thanks mate, thanks mate. Have a fucking hour down the office for her, was it? And I'm joking. Right, here we go. Lies told at school by kids. Do you want this? Yep. Hi, Robin Josh. I have a story about my child from four years ago when he was in year two. My husband picked him up from the after school club and was shocked to see our son had a huge bite mark with their.......... the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, too, too, to, to, told, to, told, told, told, told, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, is is is.......... told, is. told, is. told. told. told. told, is. told. tolu. told, is. told, is told, told, to me. too, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, told, is told son told him his friend did it to him, absolutely livid, my husband marched to the headmistress's office and demanded to speak to her.

She said it was being dealt with and they were trying to find out what happened. I asked my son what happened and he said a child in a dinner line had bitten his arm and he was sent to the back of the the other parents, he had done this to about four others on the same day. And I did the regrettable thing of sending him text to the mum who was a friend to say, I wasn't happy and he needed to sort it out. Wow, so he's texted the mum about this because other parents had said it happened to their child. Oh my word. It's quite intense. This went on for about two weeks with text messages flying around and lots of accusations from children and parents. One night

when my child was having a bath, he turned to me and said, Daddy, I did that by it on my arm myself. Oh my effing G. It turns out all the children involved had bitten their own wrists. Oh! their it on the child that was the naughty one. Oh no, that's awful. As I had seen from previous bad behavior, they could get their dinner early and skip the cue if they had been bitten. Oh my God. Oh my fultz. Oh my fucused child who had done wrong,

would be sent to the back. Oh my god. God. Funny story to look back on now. No, not really. No, it's actually awful. I say I'd say those four children are probably going to end up running the country at some point. There's a little story from the Eaton dinner queue. That kid's not eaten. It's been sent to the back. Oh, absolutely. Here we bloody go. He's eaten enough of his own wrist. That's the problem with these guys. They start eating themselves eventually. Fn't their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. the. the. the. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. te. th. th. th. th. th. th. their story. thselves eventually. Funny story to look back on now, but the time the truth finally came out from my child, I wanted to crawl away and hide under a rock never to be seen again by that parent. That is grim. I wasn't lone though as all the other children finally came clean after I laid my child's bath confession to the other parents, Louise from Stafford.

Oh, that's not very nice. No. And he just stood and took it because the other kid was so big. Oh, well, I saw two awful things in a dinner queue line at my school. Once a kid set fire to a girl's hair with a lighter. Oh my word. And the amount of hair spray to go down in Bromley, it, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, their, their their thi, their their thi, their, their, their, their, their, the other their, the other the other the other their, but it was slapstick-wise, one of the funniest things I've ever seen, was this big kid picked up another kid. He wasn't the smallest kid, but he was tall, but quite skinny.

Picked him up and dropped him in a bin. You know them big school dinner hall bins, a big black round ones that are sort of quite big, thi. He put put put put put put put put put put put put put put put put put put, their, th, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, their, put, their, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, th. th. th. thi, picked him, picked him, picked him, picked him, picked him, picked him, picked him, picked him, picked him, picked, picked, picked, picked, picked, picked, picked, picked, picked, picked, picked, picked, picked, picked, picked, picked, th. He, th. He, th. He, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. He. He. He. He's, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their. their. their. He him out and his legs were hanging over and he just was sat there like on the high chair until eventually someone like needed to knock him over and he fell to his side and managed to wriggle out like a fit. Oh my fucking. It's awful isn't it? Oh God. My kids lied to me the day because that downstairs toilets fixed now basically there was there was a bit a bit. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, and I I I I I I I I I, tha, tha, tha, and then, tha, tha, tha, tha, thah. And then, thah. And then, tha-s. And, thauuu'eu'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'er's tha-s, thah. And, et is fixed. Now basically there was, it's really boring, but they assembled it and there was a bit missing in the system, but now they've got a new bit and it replaced it and it stopped leaking. Anyway, I went in the other day has water on the floor.

I said, oh no, no, no, no, it's happened again like to get it. And I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. I. the other. And the the other. And the other. And the other. And the other. And the other. And the other. And the other. And the other. And the other. And it was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was. And the other. And the other. And the other. And the other. And the other. And the other. And, I was. And, I was. And the other. And the other. And the other. And it was. And it was. And it was, and I was, and I was, and I was the other. And it was the other. And it was the other. And it was the other. And it was, and the other. And it was, I was, I was. And the flush. No one's in trouble because I don't care I just need to know if you splash water just don't me know no no no no we didn't we didn't absolutely not and then one of them went the flush might have overflowed a bit though on its own yeah yeah I was like okay so you definitely did it but then I like what I'll put it all up it's not leaked it the lie it all up it's not leaked the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the they I I I I the the. Hi, Robin Josh, I wanted to tell you about the lie I told at school that still haunts me. Picture the scene, it's 1996, Gina G fever is sweeping the nation. Yeah, remember it well. Don't need to picture it, mate. Was there. I lived it. What was the Gina G-G-G song? Who are just a little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little the the the th. Who's the th. Who's the th. Who's the the th. Who's th. Who's th. Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? G? G? G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G? G. G. G. G. G. G. G? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. I? G. G Nation, and I, a very chubby little six-year-old, decided to tell her entire year to class that she is one of Gina G's backing dancers. I honestly thought, but because one of the dancers had brown hair, no one would notice she wasn't actually a little show-off child from Croydon. This went on to the point where I would wear yellow because that's what I wore on top of the pops.

Oh my God. Then here comes the worst bit. Another go my class started telling people she had also got in and would see me at rehearsals. What? So another girl went, yeah, I'm a backing dancer too, and I see her at rehearsals. Ah. I was far too much of a little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little a little little little little little little little little little little little little a little little little little little little little little a little attention seeking show after that someone else share the limelight, so I told everyone she was lying and how embarrassing it was that she was pretending. I genuinely feel guilty to this day.

Bloody how this is a dark old episode this isn't it? These are fucking, the problem is awful people were children at some point. No offence Emily from Croydon who's emailed. Sociopaths were young at some point. It happens. That is mad. That is amazing. I've got another lie from school. Do you want another lie? Dear Robin Josh, in primary school I was close friends with a compulsive liar. She lied all the time to get her way. This was between the age of five to nine. Some of the heavy hitters in her lion, their uncle was a lion. Right, yeah that is a big lie. She had a disease. This. This th. This th. This th. This th. This was. This was to thue. th. th. to thue. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. That was thi. thi. That was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was th. This was th. This was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that thi. that that is that is that is that is thi. that is that is lion. Right yeah that is a big lie.

She had a disease where... Oh wait, one of us needs to do a lion lying part of their Rob. Oh yeah, okay well just consider it done. Do it yourself at home. Now you can do that one. Go on. She must have been lying. Yeah I'm sure she was. People must be roaring with after when she said that. Yeah. I hope she felt some pride. A pride. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the I hope she felt some pride. She would have had a pride. Oh, there we go. Your one was better, actually. Anyway, she also had a disease, she said, where if someone was mean to her, it gave her a heart attack. Oh my God. And it was called Hammer Lions, because it felt like someone was hitting you with a hammer while a lion attacked you. Oh my god. Another one, she had three extra siblings and their thinks, thins, thins, thins, thins, thins, thins, thins, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, that, that, that, that, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. She said, that that that that thi. She said, that that that that that that thi. that that thi. thi, thi,. Her parents had rented Zach Ephron for a birthday party just to hang out with a load of seven year old girls. High school musical was all the rage at that point. Yeah. Now

although these sound very comical she delivered them with such conviction that we all believed her as she would shun those who didn't. Oh my word. She also stole lots of my stationery and one of my Nintendo DS games but denied it. this it it it this this this this this this this this this th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoe. th. th. thoe. thoe. thoe. thoes. thoes. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I I th. I th. I I I I I was. I was. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's is is is is. I. I's is. I's. I's th. I's th. It. It's th. It's the. And. And. And. And. And. And. And, thea. And. And. And. And. And. And. And.. And. And. And........................ games but denied it. This happened to me. Really? A similar thing, the liar at school stole my copy of sensible world of soccer. And then just denied it? Denied it. It's the thing of a liar, they're good at it. Yeah. Additionally, I once disagreed with her statement that Frankie and Benis was a best restaurant in the world. And she didn't speak to me for a week Amelia Amelia. Wow. There's. their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their thi thi their the la the la the lire the lire the lire the liar the liar the liar the liar the liar the liar the liar the liar the liar the liar. the liar the liar. the liar. the liar. the liar. the liar. the liar. the liar. the li the la the la the la their their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thioloooooooooooooooo to to to to to to thoo thooooooooooooo people out there that absolutely are nuts aren't they? I thought you're gonna say that are people like there who love Frank and Benis. Do you know what? I was quite anti Franky and Benis until I had a pizza there and some chicken wings at the O2 before a gig because it was the only thing open? Do it's not coming up on the Acaster and Gamble podcast, is it, I imagine.

No. But it's simple, it gets a job done when you haven't got time to sort of hang around in East London for three hours to get into a specialist place that does an artichoke. Do you mean? Yeah. Which does have its audience. to have its audience. There are people that do that, but I ain't got the time, mate. It's not what you described the other week as normal, is it, Rob? No, it isn't normal. And do you know what, that is correct?

What should we play? What is normal and what's not normal? Yes. I'll run you through some things. Okay, yeah. Oat milk? the o'clock, the o'clock, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, normal. Yeah, okay, yeah. So oatmeal, not normal, but I'm not against it, I'd say that's it. Oh, no, no, no, no, you're not against any of it. Big Brother.

Normal. The Channel 4 News. That's a difficult one. Not normal, not normal. That's a difficult one. Not normal, I don't thiola. that's a difficult. Do you know what? It's normal but it's wrong. Orange squash. Normal. Normal. Orange juice? Normal. It's something if you'll bring it yourself. Yeah. White toast. Yeah, that is normal. Sour dough. Not normal but better. I am flexible. I'm not a luddy. I'm just telling you the truth. But I'm aware that sourdough is an elite level bit of toast. But if you give a kid sourdough to bake beans, it's too crusty, it's too hard for them to consume. Yeah. Knockie, not normal. Spaghetti. Normal. Yeah, that's fine. What about stuff pasta, like and what's that called Tortellini?

No, not for me. Just put some salt, put it on top. Why do you want it inside? Sourdoughedo pizza? Not normal. Not normal. Not normal. Not for me.

Okay. It's a good game. play more like, send them in. Send them in, if you want. Send them in, if you want to play normal or not normal, for more than happy to do normal or not normal. The recent Ongkys album, Not Normal. Not Normal. Not normal. Not normal. And I love them. I'd say one of my top three, five bands.

their traise are like. Catch-raise is fucking normal. Deal or no deal? Yeah, that got normal by the end of the first couple of weeks it weren't normal. That was not normal. And then once I got the grips of it, I was like, ah, I'll get you now. But the first week of that pleasant to be around. I guarantee you won't want to leave.

Speak no evil is filled with teeth clenching, seek clawing suspense. Something's not right with him. I've always wanted a family like yours. James McAvoy will scare you speechless. Go! We're going to kill us. We're just sad to see you go. Speak no evil.

Only in theaters now. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed. The Ford government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government.

Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Dear Rob Josh and Michael, as a family, I don't know what this topic is, I'll just read it out. As a family, I don't know what this topic is, I'll just try and work out why it's going to be funny. You're so loose and a today, look at you, just freewheeling, don't go of shit. As a family of five, and ended the holiday in the south th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. th. I's th. I's th. I' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho'-I's to to tho'-I's tho'-I's tho'-I's tho' tho' tho-I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's th. I's th. I's th. I's to' toda' to toeea' toea'n'n'n'ea'ea'a'er. I'm toea'a'a'a'-s. I'm thr-a' a lift all the way back to the UK. We were a family of five and had a five-seater car, so we didn't have space. So my ice had said, don't worry, I'll sort it. In my head, I thought he was thinking he might book flights for half the family to fly home, but no, he made a DIY seat for me in the car. The seat was two two two two two two two two the the the the the the the the seat was the seat was the seat was the seat was ite positioned in the front between the driver

and the passenger seat on top of the handbrake. That is mental, that is straight through the windscreen. At least the boot you might stop halfway through the car. Yeah he felt bad that there was no seat belt so he's bungee cords. Oh my god. What? She does an accident and they'll get out the car and she's strapped down. Well if they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. their. their. their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. the. the. te. tree's try. try. try. try. try. try. try try try try's the. try's the. the she does an accident and they'll get out of the car and she's strapped down. Well if they stop and she's on a bungee cord, she might be the only person in an accident who's fired the other way. She'll land in Luton about two days later. We drove from the south of France back to Hertford.

When we went through the border I had to sitting on the handbreak and now an illegal transfer into the UK. These people smuggling. I'm surprisingly survived the drive home thanks for the laughs. Volicity from Cambridge. Do you want to have a boomer? Yeah. We do too well Father Christmas so if you are listening with younger people you might want to listen later. Here we go. Hello. In 1984 I was six years old and had asked Father Christmas for a BMX. On. My th th th th th th th th th th the th the the th the the th the the th the the the th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I the people the people the people the the the the the th. I th. I the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was th. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. People. People. People th. People th. People the. People thea. People thea. People. People th. People th. People th. People th. People. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm.. Hello. In 1984 I was six years old and had asked Father Christmas for a BMX. On Christmas Eve my dad said, ooh, what color do you reckon the bike will be? And I said red. He said, I reckon it's going to be blue. And he said, I bet you 50 p. I took the bet. Oh come on now. On Christmas morning, Father Christmas left, the today the bi. to be a be. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the. the the Bet, you owe me 50P. Oh my God. Which I happily handed

over from my Nat West Piggy Bank as he'd obviously won the bet fair and square. Fast food four years, I didn't know what I found more upset and find out there was no father Christmas or finding out my dad was lying, cheating, Hi Rob and Josh. Oh, this is a good one for normal or not normal. Butternut squash. Not normal. Your butternut squash story a while back reminded me of a story about my childhood that I thought I'd share with you. When I was about six, my parents were avid gardeners.

They've grown an enormous marrow, the size of a small toddler. I picked this marrow the marrow, and, the marrow, th. I, the marrow, th. I, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a bunth. I'm a buuned. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the their. I'm a. I'm a. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. toauuuuuuuuaskn. I. I's story. I'm. I'm. I'm. t t t t todd. toddn. toddn. todaun. todau todau todau todau todau todau todau todau todau today. today was a while ago wasn't it? I wondered what the but-nut squash story was. I put it in clothes, pushed it around in the pram, slept with it, and even insisted on having its own chair at the dinner table. My parents were not happy about this. Probably worried that their daughter was a complete lunatic. Luckily they saw an opportunity to get rid of the baby Marrow out of its breakfast chair and into the car boot. Little did they know that their demon daughter had seen this ploy coming a mile off. I took all my pocket money into school and purchased my marrow.

Purchase my marrow. Prou-mary back. Proudly. Proudly, throwne. the nanny, that's nice, isn't it? I think that's impressive, you should respect the hustle. How old was she did it say? Six. Six, buying marrows at six. Yeah. Different world back then, wouldn't it?

Marrow, the shit. It's a fucking rubbish, marrow, isn't it? What is marg? What you're doing? I just think they've died out really. No one really eats them anymore. Maybe you'd have it stuffed, maybe they have stuff in it, like rice and shit. Do you know what is a normal now that I don't think used to be a normal? Corma.

HUMUS is HUMUS normal? I think humus is normal. Yeah. Or olives. Depends on the type. they start going a bit wacky with it. Yeah, yeah. Not normal. Yeah. Funny breastfeeding fail. Hi guys. When the listeners were recounting stories of breastfeeding, I felt compelled to tell you about my experience.

My husband and I were attending a good friend's wedding and it was, as it was only two months after our son was born, we had to bring in with girl, actually I would if she said with alcohol, fucking loads of it, then I still breastfess. Yeah, got hammered, did a couple of pills. Yeah, I would, I would judge, actually. To fully enjoy the night, we organized a sitter

so I could party without alcohol and told the agreed time to a very proud teenage babysitter telling me that the baby woke early and she'd given him the milk. That's when the troubles began. I went back to the party but couldn't fully get into the swing of things due to my engorged breasts and that lasted into about 1.30 a.m. I wentthe baby blissfully asleep and me crying into the beautiful bed because I was so full of milk I couldn't move. Oh my God. I knew it's going to be another two hours before the baby would wake up. Oh God. Oh we didn't want to ruin the new 7 a.m. waking routine. Oh no. I had not brought the expressing pump. If this goes where I think it's going to go I think it's one of the worst stories I've ever heard. You think we would be wise since this was number three but we forgot the expressing pump. So my husband did what any good husband would do and

offered oh no no no no no no you guessed it. No yeah I did guess it yeah my husband latched on all right fucking Nora your relationships never coming back from that that that's it. This game over. I nearly choked on the force and volume of milk to the point where he had to sit up and burp himself. Oh my, so he downed it? He downed. Oh my, this is just, no, this is... Me?

Oh no, I can't deal with this. No, I don't want to... You didn't get up for the breakfast because he was full. No! Oh, my word! That's foul. But this remains a very mixed emotional memory. It's mixed? What do you mean mixed? Where's the positive?

Couldn't you just get it going and then like, you know, like you do with like a... When you get your siphoning petrol? So you think he should have sucked and spat rather and sucked and drunk? Yes it's two hours. Anyway so this is quite interesting here Josh she's remained anonymous. How is that a better option than waking your baby up? I'm sorry. He must have been absolutely stuff full of milk. I had a big one last night yeah, five pints, four whiskeys and two breasts of milk? Oh my God. But then she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu. Yes. Yes, it's th th th th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th th th th. th. Yes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi.ints, four whiskeys and two breasts of milk. Oh my God. But then she says, she remains very mixed emotionally about this. We haven't mentioned this to anyone for fear of others' responses. Yeah. And my husband doesn't know that I've bared all. Keep regaling us with hilarious parenting experiences. Thanks enough. That is, I'd say the greatest email we've ever received. That is unbelievable. Wow. Wow, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. th. th. th. th. th. th. S. S. S. th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. S. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th greatest email we've ever received. That is unbelievable. Oh wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow.

My, oh my, that is something else. How do you follow that? I'll just do a ghost story. I haven't had one of these in the world. Hi guys, love the show and I've listened religiously since day one. Every Sunday, 11 a. Uh, just listened to episode, episode, episode, episode, episode, episode, episode, episode, episode, episode, episode, episode, episode, episode, episode, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th There you go we all know what that means. What's that?

I don't know. Okay. My in brackets late husband passed away suddenly ten years ago. Aged 37. Oh, I'm so sorry. When my daughters were aged nine and 20 months. That is tough. A few months later, do you know when I said how do we follow that story about the breastfeeding? You've really gone for a gear shift here, boy. This is, Alex Jones

would be going, this is too much. Either you've proofread this and you've planned this absolutely perfectly or you've gone in dry and you're panicking. Yeah, it's the second one. Go on. A few months later, my then two-year-old Tilly was tilly was was was was was was was was was was was was was tilly was tilly was playing was playing, tilly was playing, tilly, tilly, tilly, tilly, tilly, tilly, tilly, tilly, tillian. tillian, ti, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, Alex. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex. to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to-in. to-in. to-in. thi, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Alex me calmly, oh God this is going to spook me out. Who the man was sitting on the worktop? What man I asked? The one that looks like the picture of Daddy, she replied. Oh my God. Oh my God. I stopped in my tracks. All I can see Rob is this this does end with three emojis so it's not going to be awful. It dog? Obergeen Rob, normal or not normal, overgeen. Winky face and then the tongue-out winky face, and then the kissing a heart. Right, so it's a nice, nice end. Okay. I stopped in my tracks, turned around.

Of course there was nobody there. And after she could describe him, she calmly replied, calmly replied, the tapapapapapapap just like yours and shoes like yours. I was wearing jeans and black converse. A tear fell from my eye. Obviously unbeknownst to my daughter when asked to provide clothing for my husband's funeral, I provided his favorite Lauphleau polo shirt, super dry jeans same as mine and his black converse in which he was cremated. Oh that is amazing, isn't it? Since then, I truly believe that young children have some kind of six cents,

as there was no way she could have known this information, as I kept these details from our daughters. It has comforted me these past ten difficult years to think that his spirit is out there somewhere, and he's finally at peace. Lots of love to you both and your families. Cherish them and tell them and you them and them and them and them them them them them them them them them them them them them them their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. every day as we can never predict life's curveballs. Bell from Talbot, North London. That is a lovely email. Thank you so much, Bell. It's very kind to you to share that.

I'd say the last 10 minutes of this podcast has really gone some. I don't know what I'm feeling anymore. Oh my God. Where do we go now? Oh my God. . God knows what it's going to produce. The only way we could go up a level now is if one of them's an email from Rose or Lou,

telling us she wants a divorce, that's the only way we can go up. If someone's breastfed a gun. That's the old Macombo. I'll say what, let's go to Boomer. Bumer never lets us down. Let's go go go go go go go go go. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thooooooooooooooooo. the. us down. Let's go for a boomer. Hi Rob and Josh just as a disclaimer I have the best mom and wouldn't change her for the world. Here we go. My brother was a bit of a rogue teenager always falling out of my parents and being let's say a bit of a devil. Yeah. I think most 80s kids grew up in chicken nuggets and fish fingers as we were but my brother was never happy with any meal times. to to to to to me me me me me me me me me me me me me me. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I. I. to the to th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. My. th. th. th. t th. t t t t t t today. today. today. today. today. t. today. t. t. t. t. today. th. th. today. th. moaned at every meal time and was pretty rude to my long-suffering mom. Often saying dog food would be better. That's something nice, isn't it? It depends on the dinner they didn't it? Let's

face it. Yeah, they were getting cat food. One day we all sat down for dinner, TV dinners of course and my brother had a different meal to us. A delicious looking meat pie with puff pastry and mashed potato. Oh no, oh my God. What the fuck is wrong with this episode of podcast? Everything is making me struggle in some right. He wolfed it down without complaining which was the first. My mom said, did you enjoy that? Yes he replied. Well you always say dog food would be better. I hope you the dog food pie. Oh my god she'd made a meat pie with a tine. Oh the the the t. Oh t. Oh t. Oh t. Oh t. Oh t. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh............................. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh better. I hope you enjoyed your dog food pie. Oh my God, she'd made a meat pie with a tin of dog food. Needless to say, he never complained about a meal after that. Thanks to keeping the entertainment podcast.

You guys are great anonymous, fucking dog food pie. Fucking out. That is fair play. Jesus Christ. Your mom hates it when you leave six half full glasses on your nightstand. It's a good thing mom lives on the other side of the country. And it's an even better thing that you can get six IKEA 365 plus glasses for just $9.99. So go ahead.

You can afford to hoard because IKEA is priced for student life. Shop everything you need for back to school at IKEA today. I'm small business shower. Yeah, let's just small business. And then I'm going to go for like a cold shower or something just to kind of... Oh, do you want one more? Hang on a lot. Here we go. Here we go, let's finish with this. Court having an affair story.

Oh, yes, please. There we go. This episode is absolutely fucking bananas. Please be from Lou. Please be from Lou. Call what having a fair? Hello. I have a story about a wife catching her husband cheating. Please keep me anonymous as she will kill me. My mum's friend walked in on her husband in bed with another man. Oh. She didn't say anything but simply turned around and left the house. Because we were talking about what we'd do if we caught a part of cheating. And you were unsure about to attack the fairer in case they beat you up with an erection naked and you were on the floor as his knob and balls were sort of waggling near your head. Anyway, this

state was a bit more gracious and just simply turned around and left the house. Knowing her husband was immediately going away for work, once he'd left for work and gone to the airport, she'd let herself back into the house and went round the entire house sprinkling cress seeds in his beloved shagpile carpets. She then watered them and took all of her things and left the house. He returned from business to find his whole house of carpets covered in fully grown Cress. Ha ha ha ha! carpets covered in fully growing Cress. I didn't know Creskite growing carpets. Well I suppose it grows on cotton wall, didn't it?

Yeah, like a cotton wall. So yeah, she just let herself back in and absolutely. How did you get Cress out of a carpet. Oh my word, that's a killer. That's a good one, right? Small business? Yeah, why not? More catching people having an affairs and what you did, please and how you deal with it. We like that. Yeah, love a fair chat.

Right, small, beez-nirs. Right. Hi, Rob and Josh. I'm very late to the party. I got a tip-off from from a choir the choir the choir choir choir choir choir the choir the choir to your podcast last week. I'm a mom of two living in Shipley and set up a business just after COVID called This is Your Song. I wrote Bespoke Songs for any occasion, birthdays, Valentine's, Baptisms, weddings, etc. A great personal gift for someone you love. The website is W.W.W. This is your song.

Dot. Co. tah Rosie. Well, despite her lack of history listening to us, there. There you tho, th. The th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. I's th. I's th. I th. I th. I's th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I............................................................................................................. there you go. Sure she'll stick around now though. She's here, here for life. Here we go. Here for life. Hi both, we'd love a small business for one of my best friends' business. It's the Somerset Chili Garden run by best friends Kayla and Harry who planted 150 chili plants in Jan 2020 after it being a drunken idea one night in a pub. Two years on and they make amazing hot sauces, chili jams and chocolates. Love a hot sauce. I love a hot sauce. Ribman Hot sauce is good for a small business shout out. Have you ever had rib man sauce.

sauce. No. It's amazing hot sauce is. Have you ever had a to have a today. Have you've had. A. A. A. A. too's a great. Have a lot. Ri. to. their. A. A. A. R. A. R. A. A. R. R. R. A. R. A. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R........................................................................... the. the. the. the. the. the. chilies, grown in the Mendip Hills of Somerset. Lovely. That's near you, isn't it? That's where you grew up, isn't it? No, but yeah. They also do amazing grazing platters of parties' weddings locally in Somerset. You can find them at Somerset Chilli Garden. to Somerset Chilli Garden. Lovely. Josh that is out small business shout out. There we go it's been a pleasure

Rob. Yeah also Lou got me a crazy pickle from Father's Day which we shattered out before because we mentioned on here and very nice and the lady saying that she's had loads of orders and people ordering stuff so thank you to all listeners. Yeah thank you for supporting our because these aren't the the they are are are are are are are are are. the the the the their. the their. their. their. the their. the their. the their. the their. the their. th. th. th. th. th. Lo. th. th. Lo. th. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It............................................................................... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th... Yeah, thank you for supporting our, because these aren't just, we don't just do these then people forget it genuinely does affect these people, which blows our mind really, it's great. Yes, so we've had loads of emails from people that they can go full time now or they've like managed to, you know, get a bit of extra money and when they've been struggling, because the amount of people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people.

keep using these companies and ordering stuff because it makes a massive difference to people and if you've got a small business that you want us to give a shout out to let us know and we'll do that as well. But thank you to everyone that's buying things or using things or giving to charities and stuff that we say it's very kind of you and it's not going unnoticed. Thank you very much I'd say it is a whole of famous. episode for various reasons. There's a lot going on in that episode, right there? There's a lot to enjoy there. At one point I was nearly physically sick and crying at the same time and I've not had that since Norovirus 2018. Thank you very much. See you see it next time. Bye. Bye. Hello I'm Jen Brista and I'm Kerry God. And we host the brand new podcast series, Memory Lane.

Each week, we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane with our very special guests, as they bring in four photos from their past to talk about. And Jen and I will be doing new episodes every week. Come on, we can all be nosy together.