Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S8 EP18: Ashley Blaker

Episode Date: March 8, 2024

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian, writer and producer - Ashley Blaker. Further information & tickets for Ashley's tour book visit: www.ashleyblaker.com or www.normalschmormal.com Normal Schmormal: My occasionally helpful guide to parenting kids with special needs (Down syndrome, autism, ADHD, neurodivergence)amzn.eu Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

I'm going back to university for a university for. I'm going back to university for $0.00 dollar delivery fee. Up over $5% Uber 1 for students. to. to. to. to. to to to th, to to to their, to th, to th, th, th, th, their, th, th, th, their, th, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their their their. And, and, tha, tha, and, tha, ta, ta, ta, and, tale. And, tale, tale, tale, tale, tale, tale, t, tale, tale, t, t, t, t, t, tale.00, t,000,000, tale.00, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta on rides. Not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber won for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings Mayberry, eligibility and member terms apply. Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with. Penny, can you say Josh Widdickham?

This is a kit. Good job. Good job. Very good. Very good. Very nice. Um, Dunstable. Milton Keens. Not far off. Oh. Oh. That was good. Oh, that was good. the today.

I think she did a bloody good job. You can even hear the little Auntie Jim at the end, sob. Oh, thanks for the pod. Keep up the good work. Lots of love from Auntie Jem in Milton Kean's four, eight've smashed it. 17 miles away, Dunstan for Little Kid. That's my best ever. Well done, mate. Told you, didn't I say this is in your Imperial face? Just everything's clicking. Yeah.

How are you, Josh? I'm very good actually. How's Rose? She's not here. She's in Cornwall. Do you remember I said about something I was worried about? I wonder whether we could put this on our Instagram. What are you worried about?

There was something wrong with the house that I was worried about? Do you remember that? Was it? Was he? Was he? He's not listening. He's got his answer in the thrown. their throw on the last episode.

So you see that, um, you see the bottom, I mean, obviously it's incredibly filthy. What the hell is that? Well, for a start, I don't know. Is that in your basement of your house? Yeah. But look at the bottom. Zoom in at the box in the box?

I don't know. What do you don't know? It's in your house. What is that bottom? Right, get that on, that's going straight up on Instagram. How do you not know what that is? What is this? it? Secondly, do I need to sort the black goo out of the bottom? Thirdly, how do I sort it?

The black goo? So it's not coming out, it's not moving, it's like stationary that black goo. Right, yeah that is weird isn't it? So it might just need more goo. I don't know. It's got Isco 17 written on it. Yeah, it's his favorite realm of dripler. What's that say at the top quality make? This will have to make sure it's got on the Instagram or otherwise it's terrible to listen to. I-S-C-O is that or I a SCQ? Yeah, I don't know what it is Rob. But it's just there in our house. Oh, God. that's the today. the the thk. thk. thk. thk. thinininin. tho. tho. tho. tho. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. tho. Rob. tho. tho. that's, Rob. that's, Rob. that's, Rob. tho. tho. Rob. that's, Rob. that's, Rob. that's, Rob. tho. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. tho. Rob. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. th. Rob. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's and put that, I've got no idea what that is. I'll be honest, when I brought it to you, I thought it was more one for the listeners rather than you. Sorry, okay, fair enough. Let's on Instagram, let's find out what's in Josh's house. You promised us a story about a harvester. Oh right, yeah, so I was... because it's 90s. Because it's, because it's, because it's, because it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a the the the they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's th. I's th. th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's to. It's to. It's to. I'm. It's th. I'm. I'm. It's th. I's th. I'm. It's th. I's th. I's th. I's th no, so my back, I've got a bad back because... Oh, how the fucking tables have turned! No, no, it isn't that bad, I just need to twist it a bit. It's where I sat with an inflatable giraffe fan stuck in my back.

For an hour in a car, I basically sat with a lot of giraffe. Oh God, giraffe. So it's a bit, I was just twist- out as I was chatting. They often have bad necks. My kids laugh harvest. The stiffest of all the necks. The stiffest of all the necks. So the one's got a harvest up. So my daughter was a sleepover. I said, I'll take it for dinner. Do you want to bring a friend, right? So I pick her and her friend up from school. They've been on like this funder, like organized by the PTA where they're going to a horn, it's like a big crazy party, but they do it as a fundraising thing every year. So they're buzzed up like on sugar because they've had sweets, I've had to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ta ta taugha ta tha tha tha tha tha threat. threat. threat. threat. threat. thunder. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha threat. thunder. threatea threatea threatea threaten tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thunder. threatea thunder. thunder. thunder. they're thunder. thunder they've both got bags to change into clothes, to go for dinner, right, but they've got them in the car. So obviously it's my daughter and then obviously a daughter's

friend and they're about six or six or seven. So we get to the harvest art and then I get the key for the disabled toilet to use for them to get changed and I gave them the door shut my daughter goes like, why do you come in and help us? I can't because your friend's here. Yeah, you know, and stuff like that. It doesn't matter. You've said she went, you've seen my beard, so I was like, yes, obviously because you're my daughter, I cannot be stood in a toilet watching you and your friend get checked. This is, you're grown up now. Even where you to face the wallace to face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face face't want, you don't want to have to explain that to the parents when they say, my daughter said you came and watched her get changed. Exactly, yeah. So anyway, so I was just stood outside the door with disabled toilet, right? And bear in mind, I'm going to the Brits the next night. I don't think anyone else is doing this as a double header. The amount of the the the the the the the th the amount th th thi thi thi the amount of thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho thin the the of theateateat. I tho- thirty thirty, the. I'm th. I'm th. the, the, the. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the, the, the, the, the an the an the an theat, the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the an a double header. The amount of time in my life when I think it's absurd, and you don't realize this when

people are on television or they're going to something, how adjacent it is in your life to the just really crap weird moments. Do you know what I mean? Life is so mundane and then there's occasional weird things you have to go to because of your job. Yeah, exactly. I'm waiting outside the toilet and they're in there for ages. And every time I say go, are you all right girls? They go away, I'm not, I'm getting chatted. So then I can't open to hurry. So I'm basically at the mercy of the tapapapapapapapapap. So I'm basically. So I'm basically. So I'm basically, so I'm basically, so I'm basically, so I'm basically, so I'm the mercy. So I'm the mercy. So I'm the mercy. So I'm the mercy. So I'm basically the mercy the mercy the mercy the mercy the mercy the mercy the mercy the mercy of the mercy, the mercy of their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to. to to to toil toile. to to to to to to to to to. to. to. So. So. So. So. So, they's they're they're takes ages and he eventually get them out then we're in the harvester and then they're just too overexcited going mad and then I'm letting them go to the buffet themselves to get the salad bowl back and forth and then I can hear it hear them hear them they got oh we're going on a shortcut and then I turn around I've lost them they're walking around the restaurant singing the willy, willy, willy, bum, song? Do you know the willy, willy, bum, bum, song? I think you mentioned it before.

Yeah, so basically, Romesh told me about it, his kids love it, and then I played it once. My kids are obsessed to it, but now they've been telling kids about the wily, bumbed to the song, screaming and I'd been a busy because I've been busy a week and then I went home and I had a migraine tablet and went a bed at 8 p.m. with my daughter. God, oh God. My headache was so bad. But yeah it's just being stood outside disabled twoil and a half about it. I couldn't go in and I couldn't get him dressed because I've never had to do that before like another person's kid like getting changed. Well I had this. I had. I. I. I'll be a period when like my daughter's having showers with me yeah and then it was

difficult because Rose's mum obviously isn't coming to watch that but Rose's mom would normally come for the bath if you if Rose's mom is here and my daughter was having a bath Rose's mom will come up, yeah? Yeah, but it's difficult to... It has to stop at some age, doesn't it? It does, and yeah, and so it's difficult to explain to my daughter, well obviously Rose's mom isn't going to come up and watch me have a shower. No, not with Rose here. Well, don't worry, she's not here. I tell you if anyone's up for an affair with Josh, he's got loads of time. But also, we had cousins here recently and then they're like, oh let's have a bath with the cousins, and then you're like, is this weird because I don't really, I'm not blood relative to this child? Yeah, no, there's just a naked child on Rose's side so I'm now, you know.

I'm not a fan of cousins having baths together. No, I'm not really a fan of it, but then it's kind of, well, friends even. So when we went to, when we went to, why is it called, and all four girls are in the bath together. And then their daughter's going. Yeah, I find it weird. I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm th. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not,then their daughter's going. I'm a bit of fun. Yeah, I find it weird. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not a fan of that. Like, oh, let's all get, but then like, yeah, no, I don't think bath. I think in the swimming pool and all that, but they don't need to have a bath but they don't need to have a bath to bath to have a bath to have a bath to have a bath to have a bath to have a bath to have a bath to have a bath to have a bath to have a bath to have a bath to have a bath to have a bath to have a bath to have a bath to to together together together together together together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, together. Yeah, to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. thea thea thea thea thea thea thea to. thea tooma to. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thea. thea. thea. tthem all in together. Well, like, also they're reluctant to have a bath because they want to play with their friends. Who wants the bath for children?

Oh, and if anyone's too eager to put themselves forward, I'm suspicious. Oh, I'll take them up! Let's go, let's go, girls. Let's go, no, let's go. You wait. I'll take her. Yeah, no, like when they go, let's just all chuckle in the bath tick, I'm like, no, I don't be like that. Yeah, well, they're starting to want to have their own baths now with my girls. They do have fun in there and playing there, but I think, yeah, I think siblings is okay. I'm not a big fan of the cousins and friends in a bath together. tho, right. their, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they's, they's, their, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. They's, th. They's, th. They's, th. They's, th. They're, th. They're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, this episode, absolute blinder, lots going on. This is incredible. I implore everyone to put down their book. What serial killers reading a book and listening to a podka? Just enjoy.

This is Ashley Blaker. Ashley has six children. Yes. Three are neurodivergent. He uses the term special needs or additional needs. And he also has a, yeah, and one of his children has, um, to. to put to put to put to put to to to to to to put to to to to to to to to put to to put to put to put to to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to tho. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to put He uses the term special needs or additional needs. Yeah. And he also has a, yeah, one of his children has Down syndrome and she's adopted. Adopted and a mental age of I think two or three year old or something like that. So it's a very complicated but amazing story. So yeah, have a listen to this. Ashley Blaker, hello?

Hello. How are you? It's Canada time, right? Yes, at least I'm on the east coast of Canada. So I'm in Montreal, so it's five hours behind. It's quarter past five where I am at the moment. But it's fine, it's all good. Yeah, Ashley, we offered you slightly later slot. We've said 10 a.m. or 11 a.m. You went for the early one.

You're an early riser? No, not at all, but I think it's, if you're away from your kids, it's the least you can do is to be, you know, sympathetic and at least get up early anyway, as if they're working out. And now this is gonna blow people minds. Could you tell us we always like to start with the setup how many kids you've got, the setup of your house? Yeah so I've got six kids. That's right, six kids. They're like when on the football and the Viddy printer when

they write it in brackets. It's at that level of kids. And what ages are they? So they've grown up a little bit now luckily luckily, so I can come and do a gig in Montreal. My eldest will be 20 in July. My youngest has recently turned 10. So there was a very busy 10-year period. Oh my god. Yes. Oh wow. So how many did you have under what age? So you would have had six under 10? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But also we had at 1.3 under two almost. Something like that. Like my eldest, yeah, my eldest son, I know, it doesn't seem possible.

My eldest son was born in July, yeah, July 2004. Next one was August, 2005. So it was like a 13-month gap, and then the next one, October 2007. So October 2007, yeah, we had a newborn, one who just turned one and one who just turned two. Wow. I don't know, I don't even know why. You said a three-month-old when you got pregnant again?

Yes. I mean, not me personally, but yes. Of course. There's a couple. Respect. Respect. Respect. Respect. Respect. Respect. Respect. I the th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-m-m-m-m-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-mooooooo-moo-moo-moo-moo-moo-mo-moo-moo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-a-a three-month-old when you got pregnant again? Yes. I mean not me personally, but yes. No, of course. There's a couple. Respect. Big respect to both of you. Make that clear. Straight back in. And did you always want to get on a good podcast? And did you always want to get on the today.

No, I don't knowto get on a good podcast. I'm probably not famous enough to get on off menu but at the very least I thought you know what if I have loads of kids at least Robin Josh will have me on pay and help me. I've got a look it worked. I've got a very addictive personality like lots of my life is just a series of hyperfixations. So I'm like massive big football fan but therethere was like a 10-year period where I went to every Liverpool game, home away, Europe, friendlies, you name it. Oh wow. I've currently got like a hyperfixation about to choose and there was a 10 year period where my hyperfixation was having kids.

Yeah. Well, we took in 2004 in 2004 2005 I think it will shug it actually. Yes. So and you so your tour are you doing the normal shmormal is that the tour you're doing in Montreal at the moment? No I was doing it yeah no I was doing a different event, a one-off show, and I'm doing a lot of shows all over North America at the moment. And it says, because you've written the book as well, and it says, because you've got on the front, because I want to ask about this, it's called my occasionally helpful guy to parenting kids of special needs. Now, I didn't, I thought special needs wasn't the neditional needs. I thought I thought I th th thought thought thought thought th thought th thought th thought th thought th thought was th thought was tho thoed thoed tho thoed that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that thi thi thi that that's thi thi thi thi their their their their their their the the the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the the the book the the the the the the the the the the the the the book the thi thi their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theananananananit theateateateateateateat. theateateateat. theateate't know. I'm not gonna be cancelled on this podcast.

Absolutely not. I mean to be I'm just being cancelled by Rob Beckett I mean surely I'd go first. I didn't know what the term and if you haven't got. You've got you've got educational needs now is I know it is there's so many I can't. It's probably it's probably changed again since they published the book. I mean, also you've got, you've got your, you've got your own needs and whatever is, and the kids have, so it's up to you what you want to call it, they're your kids and it's your life, because, you know. Well, it's the things, so I'm very,

so I've got six kids, to be their own thiiii's, I's, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, the, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, needs and but the thing is I just come my own terminology so I've got three kids with a diagnosis yeah and three without a diagnosis but you know as the title of the book suggests I don't like the word normal yeah yeah so I call them zappers and cold plays right so mainstream kids are like cold play. Okay. It's perfectly good but rather boring. Like Knotchia Stama. Yeah. They're the missionary position of children.

Yeah. Okay. So the special needs kids, my special needs kids are more like Frank Zappa. They're like rebellious, alternative, sometimes unspeakably shit, but they don't care. They just do their own thing and that's all that matters. So I don't know, special needs, special educational needs, but yeah, so we've got, I've got two sons with autism and ADHD. And then we adopted, and that's the other thing actually,

so we had five biological children, and we actually adopted a child as well, who's my elder daughter, who is now 16, and she has Down syndrome. So we have so much go, I mean, we have so much going on in our house, like autism, ADHD, mobility issues, gastroentological problems, heart defects, hearing loss, mobility. But you know you've got a lot going on when Great Ormond Street gives you your

own parking space. That is what's happening in my house. And have you got autism and ADHD as well and that was a later diagnosis is that right? That's right yeah that has come across I'm sure very clearly already. No no I've read that I didn't just sort of get out of it like foot for punt. Imagine if you went no but I haven't I'm like come on my so I wrote this book right yeah and I had to do a minute I mean it's basically a memoir and a how-to guide, but I had to do a very little bit of research for it as well. And as I'm writing this book about my children's sensory needs and their social awkwardness

and their hyperfixations, I'm thinking, blimey, this is me. After writing the book, I decided to get myself to to to to to to to to to their to get to get their to get their to get their to get their to get to get to get their to get to get to get to get to get to do to do to do to do to doaqeateffic. After writing the book I decided to get myself assessed and yeah I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD which surprised no one and I once said to Matt Lucas I think I might be on the spectrum and he said on the spectrum you are the spectrum. So I've actually written for the paperback I've actually written a new a small extra bit about that and I'm going to write a new book as well about called it typical Schmepical. Lovely stuff. And about my life of just crazy hyperfixations. What like say five years ago when they were younger and stuff? Yeah. What was a morning like between waking up and them being at school or

nursery or whatever however it works? It's just absolute chaos. And when I was trying to get out in the morning like you'd just like be forgetting kids. I'd be, oh my daughter who's got down syndrome. She obviously like, she's 16 now, but she has like the mental age of a two or three year old. And she still requires so much help getting ready in the morning, it's getting dressed. But she's always, you take her,

she's very destructive, particularly when she's bored. So if you take your eyes off her for two minutes. She's like drawing on the walls. She draws on her face. I sent her to school looking like a Down syndrome post Malone. Oh sure. And is she a special school? Yeah, she goes to a special school? Yeah. And do the other kids, did they go to special school? No? No. So my actually, this is something I talk about in the book actually it's really difficult with finding schools. That's one of the hardest things. to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. the th. the th. I the th. I the their th. I their th. I their to their to to their to their their their their their thi thi their their their their their their s. I's their sce. I's their the talk about in the book actually, it's really difficult with finding schools. That's one of the hardest thing. So I've got three kids to say, with three zappers, three kids with diagnosis. So one goes to special school, great.

My third son, Dylan, goes very happily to a mainstream school with a little bit of support. He has like 15 hours of LSA time, learning support system time. Would you say he's quite similar to you in the regard that there's things going on, but he's sort of fine in school and society with... Yeah, well yeah, as for me, I mean, I was actually very academic and so I didn't have any education. I think that's what actually threw me off the scent genuinely. People who used toto take the peers and go, oh, you're a rain man, autistic kind of thing. The thing is, I went to Oxford, I didn't have any educational needs. But yeah, so I've got one at special school, then Dylan goes to Mary's New School, perfectly fine, tiny bit of support.

But then my eldest son, that was the challenge because he falls between two stalls. I always compare it to, you know how there are those footballers, right, that are not good enough for the Premier League but too good for the championship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So that's what he's like. Adi Akimari at Palace. Right. That's Adam. He's not, he's not capable of being in a mainstream school, but he's definitely not got the kind of needs that would require a special school. And so he just, to be honest with you, he wasn't made for education. He eventually went to more schools than an off-settin inspector. He eventually went to a sixth-form college. He got his GCSEs in English and math at the third attempt. And yeah, I was incredibly proud of him just to manage that because it just education wasn't for him. Yeah. And what's the kind of, what happens to him now? Like what's path can he go on?

Well, he worked for a year at McDonald's, uh, you really like, obviously we have to do a lot of this work, like to get him job in like I'm doing all the applications, I'm finding, he's very passive like that. So then I found him a job at Heathrow Airport. Yeah. It required so much work on our part of like the forms, obviously like security and I mean he had to do it so for that and it sounds, by the way, like I'm making some of these stories up. I promise this is true, right? He had to do a job interview on Zoom and just before the interview started, I popped my head into his bedroom to discover that he had set up his zoom username as at.com. You will never get to job. You will never get a job.

I think it changed it to Adam Blake. Do me and that. And that's mad. Yeah. But he's he loves it. That is insane. So will he be able to move out and have his own place and stuff as he gets older? What do you think? Yeah, I think so. Definitely would hope so.

No, I definitely hope so, yeah. And he's, you know, I think he genuinely was so proud of him. He didn't talk until he was eight years old. Wow. Yeah, he took eight years to learn to speak. to to speak. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. t. t. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to speak and like I'm becoming a teenager took eight seconds to learn to swear. He was bleeped in our house. It would sound like we were living with R2D2. Really? Non-stop. Yeah.

With the daughter you've got, he's got Down syndrome. I don't know, because we've had quite a lot of kids, um, parents of children with Aspergers or autism or ADHD. But so what are the kind of needs of looking after someone with Down syndrome? Well, so Down syndrome, again, like autism has got a very wide spectrum and range of needs. I mean, Down syndrome is the same. And actually, one of my big annoyances actually with like certain charities that will promote the incredible achievements of people with Down syndrome is that they focus so much on the incredible the kind of black swans who are you know who have won bafters and run businesses and there's a dance a model with Down syndrome. It's on the front cover of Vogue and there's someone with Down syndrome who's a Victoria's Secret model.

Our daughter will never be like that I would say. As I say her, she's like a, she's 16. She has all the hormones of, no, sorry, she's 15. She'll bethis year she has the hormones of like a 15 year old but yeah she has a mental age of a kind of two three year old she spends most watching she that he loves mr. tumble and all the kind of toys toddler would enjoy she has a lot of physical needs he's quite a weak muscular issues. So she has a room downstairs. She doesn't really like going up and downstairs. She's had a lot of heart issues in her life, hearing issues, gastro issues. Hospital, like we're just constantly in hospital appointments. It's just extraordinary.

But she's, I mean, she really, I, you know, I'm sure everyone says, oh, I love all my children equally, but no, she's just a little bit of their children equally. She's like, she's the real love for me. You know how like loving your child, there's a little bit of narcissism involved, because they're like an extinct. She's not, she's not, he shares none of my genes. I don't even have that. It's just this very pure love that I have for her. And what does her going through her teenage hormones mean when she's watching Mr. Tumblr? Like how does that articulate? So I mean, well obviously obviously physically, so like she can't, she need a lot of personal care, but she's actually started periods and all that

kind of that kind of thear, like those kind of like teenage hormones, like, you know, just angry, teenage, I mean, you've got all this look forward to, just teenagers are so angry. Yeah. No, so she's, she's, she's going through that I guess she has elements that. But let's say she gets very destructive when she's bored. She really has to be occupied a lot because she she will just start stuffing wet wipes down the toilet and we couldn't get any hot water and I just couldn't work out what was going on, called the plum around and he couldn't work out of it and he went to the titter room and he just realized that the switch had just been turned off and she just goes around touching switches he's always turned off lights and

stuff like he didn't charge me he was very kind of it. That's nice. I've had a similar thing where it's just been that I didn't understand that there was a trip switch or whatever and they have charged me in that situation so that's good. Yeah but yeah but yeah but yeah I think you know I think that's you being lazy there as opposed yeah I suppose she's got a daughter that daughter with Down syndrome has done that it's difficult for them to charge you in that situation at that point she's got Down syndrome the mental age of a three th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that I'm that I'm that I'm that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I I I I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's that's that's that's that's the mental age of a three-year-old, so how much again? Thank you. That is one of the main reasons we adopted her, yes. That and a blue badge. Very handy for shopping. How do you, how do you, because you've categorized your kids as the zappers and the cold play.

So your, your kids without the extra needs, the cold plates. Do they get on with the zappers? Is it like how do they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their, th. th. th. th. th. that. thathea. thathea. thathea. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. thathea. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. tha. tha. to. to. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's too. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the cold plates. Do they get on with the zappers? Is it like how do they blend in? Obviously because you know, if you know, it's difficult for them if they need to help with their homework or whatever, but then your daughter needs to help it's like it's hard for them to to go no I want you know because they're all kids fight for attention. But when there's? How does that work? Yeah, I mean, no for sure in terms of the fighting for attention. And actually one thing I will say also about my kids, they would have made brilliant 1970s shop stewards because they're like forever looking for little grievances of like he had this, I've got I've got that, that, that, that is like Kenneth Cope's character in Carry On at Your Convenience.

They're always like looking for things that could lead a walkout. But I was very careful to use the word diagnosed. I have three diagnosed children. Right. That is to say the other children. Look, they came out of my bullsack. So, you know, let's let's be honest here. My fourth son, Edward, he, I would say, has more classic signs of autism than the other two boys put together. But he... So why is he not been diagnosed? Because he doesn't have... well, firstly, we genuinely raised it once with the doctor,

with psychologist, who said, said look I don't mind doing another assessment he said but frankly people wouldn't believe you he said this is just getting ridiculous now so but genuinely doing really well at school and he has no you know just as I said that I might have autism and ADHD but I have any educational needs. I don't need any. Yes. He doesn't have, he doesn't need it. So my view is, is that you know what, if he, as an adult, when he's my age, if he wants to get himself assessed or young, whatever, then that's fine, that's his choice.

But at the moment, it wouldn't need it. he on really well. One thing about having a big family, they get on so well. My eldest two sons are like absolute best friends. They just do everything together. And it's lovely. I really do get genuine pleasure out of seeing them the way they, the way they all get on it. It really, of course they are they are, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, their, their, they are, their, they are, their, they are, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, their, to, to, to, you work on Fantasy Football League and Ellis James is coming in and he's got two kids who are cold plays and he's going,

God, a tough morning had to get them to school or whatever. And then you hear, you know, me or Rob complain about how difficult our lives are. Because I find people with one kid. I'm like, fucking you don't know the half of it. How does it feel to you when you hear people like us talk? Yeah, look, it doesn't just because it doesn't, I mean, it's in all sages, it doesn't diminish anyone else's load and how hard it is, and whether you have one or two, you know, and as I say it's not just the number, it's actually those needs and what have you.

Yeah. One of the things when you have gotten you are a diverse kid, like my eldest son, as they say it's got autism, ADHD, the midwife didn't look at him and say, oh, your child is autistic. It doesn't work. This is something that gets assessed like at a snail's pace. So he was assessed, he was diagnosed at three years of age and then my third son was diagnosed at six. So had he been like had a, had he come out of the woman and you'd immediately gone right, this child's got autism and he's going to be an absolute load of work, then maybe we'd have thought twice about having so many more kids so but of course, yeah. That's the trouble that you, you know, there's the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, th the same, the same, th th there's the same, th the same, the same, the same, th's th's th's thi's thirs, not, not, not, not, not, not, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. thi's thi, was, was thi, was, was thi one was, was, was, was, was, was, was thi one was, was thi one's thi one's thi one's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. thi. thi's thi's thi. thi's thi's thi. So, thi's thi. So, thi's thi. So, thiiiii's thiiiiiiii's thi. So, thi's thi's thi of course yeah you know that's that's the trouble that you you know the same not I don't love them and would want to return anyway but it that's some things that yeah you don't

always know what it's in your midst and of course yeah how old so how old? So when did you adopt what stage of the kids were that and how old was your daughter? Four boys. Four boys, yeah? Four boys. And the youngest was like almost not even a few months old. And we saw it. So this is the craziest thing. I don't know how this even happened.

I was sat at home one evening looking at a local newspaper. And I saw this advert that said, opt to adopt Zoe is simply beautiful, could you be the family for her? And actually, Willie, it said it had simply beautiful in quotes, in quote marks. But as a comedian, it really bothered me because they hadn't cited where that came from. Chortel. It felt like, exactly, it felt like a made-up poll quoted. I can't put that on my tour poster. No, yeah, it's not really beautiful. The times. Yeah. And I saw this and for some, it said, you know,

we need a family to, from the London borough of Hackney and a places advert and I don't know what you just it just spoke to me and I spoke to Jemma and she had seen it independently and we just both thought you know what we could do this but how we managed to get past this assessment process because the assessment process right if you don't know much about it is no reason why you would know a lot about it it is so arduous and it takes best part of a year. But also, you know how like basically any pair of spotty teenagers could have sex tonight and make a baby and no one can stop. But I feel really bad for parents who particularly if they can't have children or have it and want to adopt, the hoops you have to jump through. Yeah, yeah.

Completely crazy. And they ask you the most nuts questions about your life. Like they want to uncover everything. Like once the social worker asked me, she actually rang me in a panic and I went, oh there's a big hole in the report about you. I said, oh yeah, what is it? She said, when you're in primary school, did you get invited to many birthday parties? Yeah, like, you need to know how much jelly I ate when I was tea. That's mad, isn't it? So, well, my friends were trying to adopt and we always one of their like references and they were chatting and the questions they were asking the way I was talking about it was like with such suspicion I know you don't want to give you a kid to anyone the kind of thing but it was it was met and in the

end I don't think you get it because they had a flat and there were a stares in their flat the their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their flat their was was their was their was their was their was a their was was a their was a their was a their was a their was a their was a their was a their was a their was a their was a their was a their was a their was a their was a their was a their was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was a their was. their was a their was. their was. their was a their was a little little little little little th. th. th. th. that. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. their theat. their their their their was a little little their was a little their, oh, the flat's not suitable for kids. I was like, well, if that's the case, most houses in the country aren't suitable for kids. And when you have a baby, there was a baby, they were trying to adopt a baby, but when you have a baby, you do live in a flat that's unsuitable for about six months a year, but that's because you're they they they they they they they're they're they're they're tho tho that's thi...... that's that's that's that's that, and it's that, and it's that, and it's that, and it's that's that's that.. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's.................... that's th................. th...... th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that the that the the the that the the the the. the that's not that's that that that that's that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that trusted to be an adult like if you like you say anyone could I go and have a kid biologically and have this kid anywhere in any house I'm like let's not stop a child and a couple from having a lovely life together for the

stakes and fucking stairs on your form right exactly I mean it's and I do exactly they do this for good reason obviously and particularly because many adopted children will be among the most vulnerable children. Obviously the bar does need to be there. But yeah, if parents, if every parent had to jump through these hoops and meet these criteria, no one would have any kids. No, my flat wouldn't have been suitable to have children to adopt. But we had kids in XVI a privilege enough to have one biologically. Right, and all the questions, there were so many sex-based questions as well that were

about our sex life, that I'm sure the social worker was just taking a prorogian interest. How big's your knob? Hang on a minute. There were questions like, how did you find out about sex and who, who was most responsible for increasing your awareness. The social worker won't, and I, very cynical person, comedian, whatever, I can't take any of this kind of stuff seriously. So like she once asked, have you ever read a book or seen a film about adoption? And I replied, yes, the omen. Did not find it funny. I don't know how we managed to get through this. It is, it is, it yes, the omen. Not find it funny. I don't know how we managed to get through this.

It is quite a remarkable thing. So she was, I should say, she was, well, when we started the process, I think she just turned one. And she moved in with us. Yeah, she would have been two, two and a bit, two and a half maybe when she moved in with us, and yeah, she's now like 15 and a half. So it's been an amazing journey. And yeah, I don't know quite what is like a moment of madness, but, and so it really teaches you a lot, really, and there's something quite special actually to be able to look at a child and go, I chose you. You know, and I chose you exactly how you are and with all the needs you have, we chose

you the way you are and the way you'll always be and we chose to love you. And that's I think that's something really special to be able to do that. And how does she know that or can she not kind of comprehend that? No, he doesn't know. What was he was adopted? No, no, no, not too. She doesn't have like contact with a birth family stuff. But no, he wouldn't, he doesn't have the capacity to understand that. I mean, nowadays it is the kind of done thing that it's very open. And I think people who are adopting, you know, meet, they that often often often often know their full stories might be, but now she just doesn't have that.

Is it hyperfixation stuff? Is that ADHD or autism or is it a combination? Is it a blend? I think that's more, yeah, I think that's associated more with autism. I'm no, I'm no, I'm very, I'm very, I. Personal experience. I'm not like... Yeah of course. A doctor in it yeah. No chapter in verse on all this. But I think that's really important I think that's why your books so good and so important and it's had amazing reviews from Ellis James as hilarious, fascinating and moving and loads of people have said amazing things about it is that not that like it's great to have the books by experts and the medical books

and they're really important and have their place. However, you can't beat real life experience and someone that's living with it and can make it fun so it doesn't feel so stressful and difficult and like pressurized and I think that's what your books are very good at doing so this is really important to have these kind of books written. Yeah 100% but that was the aim so basically I've written this book because this is the book I wish I'd read 16 years ago because 16 years ago when Adam was diagnosed he was three and I read of quite a few books and stuff around it and they was so bloody depressing it was just awful and I thought I wanted to write something

that acknowledges all the challenges for sure, but focuses on the joy in our house and talks about the light aside and you know talks about the huge rewards. Did you when you first got the diagnosis? What how did you feel like did you were you worried or were you, or was it a relief in a way or? No, definitely the latter. Yeah, so no, relief because it was like confirmation, like we're not just shit parents, genuinely, like because you were a child who it was so it came up because we first got in sort professional help I think he was 18 months. He had a very restricted diet and severe speech delay. And you know, you are just thinking, you're looking at the other kids at nursery

and they're talking already and they're doing this and they're doing that. And you're thinking, oh my God, what are we done wrong? Are we just the world crappest parents? And to get that piece of paper that, yeah. And not to say, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. thi, you're just just just just just the the thi, you're just just just just th. th. their their their their their their their, you're just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you their, you they. thi. thi, you're thi, you're just just just thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoooooo. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, you're Yeah. I mean, not to say we're not shit parents, we might still be. That's just a coincidence. That might just be a coincidence, exactly. And I think that's so important. It was so reassuring. Look, for some people, a diagnosis is like, oh my God, this is just the worst thing ever. But that's how I felt.

It felt like a relief, yeah, knowing what we're dealing with. Yeah, and do you have a vision of what, kind of in 10 years time or whatever? Like how many, do you think your kids are all be out in the world and stuff? Or do you, it's kind of, it's like more than it is for maybe me and Rob. This is almost your life's work, isn't it in a way?

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, no, no, I really, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I it's, I just don't know, it's so hard to say. So Adam, I think he actually wants to, he loves being on his own. He really wants to actually become a long distance lorry driver if possible. Amazing. Genuinely, I think he, he, yeah, walkie bars, fine. Like swearing at people who cut him up in the traffic. Right, exactly. This is great. It's perfect for him. But he just, he likes, he's not very sociable.

He likes being on his own. That's great. I could imagine him doing that. I think my third son, Dylan, he's an amazing character. I mean, he could talk bollocks for England. So he just telling us about their their their their their their their their their their their their the YouTube and TikTok, terrible inventions for someone like him because he just spent his whole life telling us about crap that he's seen and what have you. Again, he's also done amazingly well. Like, he, he actually last year was on, or the year before, a BBC show called Britain's

best young artist. And if you'd have toldld me 10 years before that, that he'd be able to be on network, on national TV and not a total twat of himself, it's amazing how they do change. So you know what? I don't have a vision of what 10 years will be like into the future, but you know, that's great.

I'm kind of excited to see what happens. I think it's amazingly, it's such a great attitude and you're so like, so inspiring. Do you, is there a point, there must be points where there might not be, but where you're just at home and it's six people and it's carnage and it's Saturday afternoon or whatever and you're like you just think fucking how it would be so easy just to have two cold plays in this situation. Oh yeah all the time for sure.

We all said when we were young we got I didn't ask to be born. You know but it's so true that in it, I didn't ask to be born, you know, but it's so true that, isn't it? Like, you don't ask to be born, and so you can't blame your kids for, for you on yourself. But like, my kids will sometimes say, they go to school with like people who've gone on holiday to Dubai or they've all gone there, whatever. And I go, I don't want to make make make make make make make you their to make you to make you make you make you make you make you make you make you make you make you make you make you make you to make you to make you to make you to make you to make you to make to make you to make you to make you to make feel bad, but it's eight of us. That's here. They've only got two kids and that's quite a lot for us to, you know, so of course there are times where you think, guys, we only had two kids, we'd be able to do this, we're able to do that, but yeah, look, it's the pros. There are so many pros outweigh the content. We will sometimes just sit down and have a lot. And we thion, thion, th. And we th. I love this. And I like so much. They get on and like on a, they've got this thing where they'll like often on a Friday night they'll go out and get a pizza together and bring

and and it's just great. I really get so joy to see how they get on. And did your wife have any any any autism or ADHD or anything like that? No, I don't think so, no and she's, I mean, look, she does the real work. She's with, she's got an ex, because there's an extra because of your in the house as well. Right, exactly. With lots of people of different things going on. I'll be very clear. I put the dedication of the book for Gemma who does the real work the the the real work the real work the real work the real work the real work the real work the real work the real work the real work the real work the real work the real work the real work the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm, thi. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I'm, thi, thi, thi. I'm, thi. I'm, to, to, thi. to, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, th. for Gemma, who does the real work, I just wrote a book about it. I'm not going to, I'm not going to try and take the credit, you know, she's amazing. She's actually a head teacher as well, so she has such a... Oh wow. Yeah, so she is like a full-on job. There's so many questions, like just practical questions that come into my head, like what's the food shop like?

Yeah, like, what's, how do you stay on top of washing? Yeah, so the food, I mean, the food is a major issue, not just for the number of people, but for the additional needs because we have so much like food sensitivities and stuff like, like, I think I say in the book like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the food, the food, the food, the food, the food, the food, like, like, like, like, like, like, for the additional needs because we have so much like food sensitivities and stuff like yeah I think I say in the book like it visits to the supermarket are preceded by a prayer that some new foods have been invented this week because like for for Dylan like any food has to be like completely white food without any taste, without any smell. So what's that rice, milk? Yeah, it's, I don't know. White bread. Yeah, he just, they,

look, you're waiting for somebody to invent the taste-free, texture-free chicken, basically. That's right. I think Lou had a good go at it at the weekend to be hell. That is good. That is a lazy bit of comedy. Lou actually did an excellent chicken. I apologize to that. No, it was good. Lou's actually up to game.

She's got really good at cooking out of nowhere, to be honest. And she'd admit that. But yeah, sorry for the lazy comedy. They, they, they, they, they, they, lazy comedy is all I do, so, does. I don't think anyone's going to come away from this, this episode and go, I tell you the thing about that, Blake, he was lazy, wasn't it? Yeah, not parenting, just comedians. But yeah, no, the, the, so a lot of special needs children, a lot of parent, any listeners who have got kids with additional needs, would recognize this, the food issues. I know people who, whose kids, luckily my kids don't do this one, but whose food has to be on the plate, like separate, they can't touch. Just all kinds of issues regarding meals.

Let's say, it was my eldest son's restricted diet, which actually led to his diagnosis. So yeah, food is a real issue. But practical issues. I'll tell you like, here's a time which I was talking about going away. We did once all go to Greece some years ago. Oh, word. So yeah, so we went to Greece, but I was talking about like, you know, issues of flying and stuff.

So this totally, totally true, we turn up and they go, you can't come on the plane because you've got six kids and adults need to be sat next to them. And it's like, there were only two adults. The plane has to wait. Get everyone on board. their tip, get everyone on board and then we'll try and work it out. So we come on board, people are tutting as we're getting on board. Can I ask a question on this? Sorry, but should it not flag it when you buy the tickets if they're going to flag it at the airport? Quite,? And like people are like, we're like, God,

this is never going to take off. So the young guys in his early 20s gets up and goes, yeah, I'll sit with him, right? Legend. Yeah, they were with his family. They were from LA, and they'd been in London for a week, and now they were flying on to Greece for an extra part of their vacation. And I think he thought he was going to have a kip on the plane, right? But he's standing next to my sons and I say to them, look, behave, you know, I said to him, don't worry. They've got screens, you don't have to do anything. Yeah. But my Dylan, it was a say he just can talk shit for England. He says to this guy like, where are you from? And he goes, LA? And he just kind of like, oh, Hollywood. And he basically spoke to this guy, non-stop for four hours. Oh, God. He made them, and I remember Dylan said to him, do you like the

Simpsons? And this idiot, instead of saying no, said yes. And what followed was an inquisition of favorite episode, favau, least favorite episode, favorite. At one point I heard Dylan performing the entire episode, Homer the Great, and singing this song. And he's, he's, you didn't think you should step in at this point? and singing the song and he sees it. You didn't think you should step in at this point? Well, there's nothing I could do.

I had to stay in my seat. And I played, I would say, within the four hours, you could have popped up for a bit and gone, Dilla, mate, calm down on the scenes, will you? Every time I went back, I can see it, I to check on him. I just heard him saying the the the the Star War's Holiday Special? Have you, uh, you live near Adam West? Who's the favorite Spider-Man villain? And when the plane landed, this blok, he didn't even wait for the seatbelt sign to go off. He was up, he was out. He was like, he looked at me like, I want to kill you. And I can see what I said, look, mate, I've got to live with him. He's only today four hours. Is that why you've put on a UK tour so you can have a bit of space?

Exactly, of course. Really? Actually, I'll go through the date to people that want to come and see. You can buy the book, but what you've got your toy. Poor old Steve Wright passed away, rest in peace. We love Steve Wright here at Perrin and Hell. And this was his thing, wasn't it? So in honor of Steve Wright, here's all your gigs listed out. So you've got a Gilford G Live, Hemel Hempstead, Old Town Hall, Radlet Center, Didcock Cornerstone Arts Center, Winchester Theatre, then to May, Birmingham,, London, Exeter, Brighton, Milton Keynes,

more dates to be added. Good luck with it, Ashley Blake, Ashley, thanks, from you. Where can they follow you on Instagram? Ashley Blaker, the Instagram. Yeah, the Ashley Blake on Instagram. And I'm not a massive social media user in... th. th. to, but, but, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, the, the, to. the, the, the, the, the, the, to. to. to, to. the, the Ashley Blake on Instagram and I'm not a massive social media user in fairness, but they, yes. Why are you not dedicating more time to your Instagram Ashley? It's it. It's a little. What lazy sod you are.

Yeah. There's a photo on your website of you with your six children this lovely photo and I wonder what that photo shoot was like. Did you have to take them all to a photo shoot studio and stuff or is that just a photo? No so that was yes Steve Willa Thorne who you might have a very good photographer of comedians and well so basically everything and obviously the cover of the he took the photos on the cover of the book and all those photos so he basically anything that involves my children involves the most extraordinary amount of bribery. The advance I got for this book most of it went on bribes to be on the cover to be the book. The book was serialized in Sunday Times. They they came and did a photo shoot

and again that involved a huge amount of bribery. So yeah, everything has got a price. That's what I find that in our house. They're very negotiators. Actually, they should be my agent. What do they normally ask for? It's usually food related. Right. But cash, cash no we. Yeah. And then so I also got a Radio 4 series and they called Ashley Blaker 6.5 children and they appear as themselves in right. It's with the two series of that. Is it like a sitcom? It's like it's stand up with bits of in the house. Right. Okay. And they appear as themselves. And again, like, that required a lot of, rightly so, they should be paid for their work. But the amazing thing is, right,

Zoe, right, she's got Down syndrome, mental age of a two-year-old, what have you, she's actually got her own page on the British Comedy Guide. That's right. There's actually got there. There's some, there's some you know that stand-up comics on the circuit who have got fewer credits A yeah well with Downs and Don't so that is I love that I absolutely love that but we'll try to the British comedy guide brilliant that'll be some comedians I can think of they'll be very bitter about that yeah oh um treated the final question oh yes yes yeahtwee did the final question, Josh. Oh yes, yeah. We always end with the same question, which is, uh, what one thing does your wife do, uh, that is, um, kind of blows you away that the parenting that you just couldn't manage yourself that you're just in awe of. Um, more importantly to us, what one thing does she do that that thooo that? What one thi thi thi thi one does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does thi one thi one thi one thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi-o-o-o-o-o-o-a-o-a-o-o-o-o-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-o-the-the-the-the-the-the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi one one one one one one one one one one thi one thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thii. thiiiii. thiiiiiiii. thi. but if she were to listen to this then this is your way to tell her not to do that. Yeah, well the first part is easy because I say I have already said like she does everything.

So you know I, I, I, the amazing people my children have become is solely down to her and I will only take credit for their flaws. So that's for sure. And how she does it was being a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their to their their their tell tell tell tell tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their way. tell. tell. tell. th. tell. the. that's the. tell. that's the. tell. that's tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. their flaws. So that's for sure. And how she does it was being a head teacher as well, I don't know. In terms of the latter part, oh that's harder, but I think one thing I will say she hates football. Right. Right. there's no interest in it at all. And my eldest too are like Liverpool obsessives as well. And I think she just needs to understand. There are thi thi thi their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho I will tho tho that I will I will thi. I will tho. I will tho tho that I will to I will to I will to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that I that I will to that I will that I will that I will that I will that I will that I will that I will that I will that I will that I will that I will that I will that I will that to that that that thus. I will thus. I will thus. I will to. too. tooo. te. te. told. to to to to to to to to to to to needs to understand there are times you can't speak to us, there are times that we're too sad to talk, there are times where you want to enjoy. And you know so apologies again to listeners who aren't interested in football but Yurgan Klopp, Liverpool's

manager my love of my life recently announced he was leaving Liverpool and Jerry our house was like someone that died genuinely. Yeah. And Jerry just came to me and said, I don't understand why are people so upset about Gerard Julier retiring. No, no, he died four years ago. I don't know where you've got this from. But you've got a tattoo of him on your leg. I know and yet she's still, that's how little interest she has. You've got a lot of tattoos though actually I've just don't that look that look that look that look that look that look that look that look that look that look that look that look that look that look that look that look that look that look that look that look to to to to to to to to to to to that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me to me to me to me the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. the the they. the the they. the the too. too. to to to to to how little interest she got a lot of tattoos though actually I've just that look online you're covered in them you look like a cage fighter. Exactly I just want to be I do have the world's least they are the least macho tattoos you I would say you know I would say you know the photos I've seen of you with I'm looking to you know I'm a the photo of a. I'm. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm the the the to to to to to to to to to to to look I'm I'm to look I'm to look I'm to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toy. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm ttoy. I'm ttou. I'm tttttou. I'm tttttou. I tttttou. I ttttttoy look like someone who's going to produce a load of tattoos. Do you know what I mean? Yeah I did I was on what show was it Ricky Wilson you know the Kaisik's radio show and he said that he

and I was in a summer I was wearing a t-shirt and he said it looks like your head has been photoshoped onto your body. And yeah there is none of that. They are, yeah, quite a few football related. I have the words corner taken quickly, a reggae demo, I've, a tutu Roberto Femino. But yes, there's a lot of like silly, very colourful tattoo. Oh, yeah. Well, it's a pleasure to speak to you. Thanks so much. The book is out in paperback to what I want to say. No, the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, to speak to you. Thanks so much. The book is out in paperback, to what I want to say? No, the, yeah, so Norma was out in hard back at the moment. Paperback is in July.

Don't wait for that though. Get the, get the hard back and the paper back, obviously. Double. Exactly. Exactly. the tour starts in April. Brilliant. Oh, good lot of it, mate. Thanks so much, Ashley. Here's Ashley. Love comedy, love gossip, you're in luck. Check out the Always Be Comedy Podcast, where you'll find top-tier chats with the likes of, Stephen Merchant,

Romesh Ranganathen, Mazey Adam, Rose Mattafeo, Josh Whittakum, Stuart Lee and many more. That's the Always Be Comedy Podcast with Tim Lewis and me, James Gill, available everywhere you get podcasts. And if you're a fan of Parenting Hell and in particular, producer Michael, he's the guest on this week's Always Be Comedy Bonus Podcast episode.