Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S8 EP23: Would you touch black goo?!?

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Can you say Rob Beckett? Yeah, well done. And Josh Whiddickham. Well done. That's really good. Right, there we go. Ruben needs to be young to get away with that because otherwise it was shit. We could play a really dangerous game here, Ron. Which is I'm going to ask you what the maximum age Reuben should be otherwise it was shit. I think if Rubens three and a half or older that you've

gone conservative yeah really really panic there 20 months Rubin attempt that's one and a half 20 years I'm gonna let him off yeah yeah I loved he loved having a go that that's like that's like that that's like that that's like what they say they say that's that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really th they really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really that's that's that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that that that that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that's really really really really really really really really really that's that attempted, that's one and a half, 20, saying them. I'm gonna let him off. Yeah, he loved having a go. That's like what they say, horses love. So that's nothing gets Ruben. I love his sandwich. He loved having a go, you know when, they don't know that, you know when they say horses love horse racing,

it's that Both of things love it. Sorry Rachel we've really gone for you. Thanks all the way. I read through laugh out loud listening to you guys whilst running or walking the walk. I'm quite insecure so. But whilst running or walking to what work, she means to write work. She's had another nightmare. Oh, she's added, I'm incredibly insecure, so if this gets read out, please don't have a go at me because it will destroy my confidence. Well, I spent late now on it. She hasn't added that.

Don't put your head above the parapet if you don't criticism, yeah, Rachel, thank you very much. We appreciate you sending that in and he that that that that. And he th. And he th. And he th. And he th. And he th. And he th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's, th. th. that that's, th. th. th. th. thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, th. th. th. thin, she's th. th. thin, she's, she's, she's, she, thank you very much. We appreciate you sending that in and he is only 18 months, so I think that was a good effort. Oh, Rob, talking about not putting your head above the parapet if you need, if you don't want criticism. What were you done? I went on a talk sport to promote the new podcast, I'm doing a dark brink, pardon?

What, you're doing another podcast with somebody else? Yeah, and it feels good. No. It's not better, it's just different. It's very different, it's a maximum of six-parts. It's about a niche football story. I'd say in terms of, I could promote it on here. But I say that is nothing for our listeners. What I'd say as well, if you're all the same with that podcast as this podcast, you'll start talking about a niche-dunting football, then end up talking about your kids. Because that's the way we go. So I went on TalkSport to promote it, Rob.

Perfect place. You're literally talking sport. You couldn't be doing it more on the nose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to, Rob. to, Rob. to, Rob. to, Rob. Rob. to, Rob. to, Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. to, Rob. to, Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. to, Rob. to, Rob. Rob. to, Robe, Robe, Robe, Robe, Robe, to, to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd, I'd, I'd tha. What, I'd tha. What, I'd tha. What, I'd tha. What, I'd tha'a. What, I'd to say, tha. What, I'd tha. I'd tha. I'd talking sport. Literally talking sport. You couldn't be doing it more on the nose. Yeah. With Charlie Baker we've had on here, Paul Horsby, who I really like. Great guys. Great guys. I think Talks sports got a lot better in recent years. They've gone for good, good presenters with good personality and good banter

rather than saying something that's going to wind up. I don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th. th th. th. thin th. thin thin thin thin thin, thin, thatatath. tho tho thatha. thathea. thateak, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. that, thu. that, that, thath. thath. thath. thath. thatha. thatha. thatlu. theya. theya. theya. theyauul. thaul. thauaua'a'a'a. Yeah, that's that's thto wind someone up to bring up. I don't know, Rob. While we were waiting, Simon Jordan and Jim Weimer on. And I just thought, they looked so angry. And I was like, to be that angry for three hours a day, can't be good, can't be good for your heart. Also, at least on like a news one, it's about politics. Yeah. one is about politics, it's a fit, defence country. The thing is, it just really bothers me with Man United's defensive options. Really? Eric, Chernoll, don't care that, that. Harry McBuyer has not bothered and he's one of them. Oh, I worry about these people. They're both kind of puse with anger. It's half ten in the morning and they're discussing whether

Birmingham City should reappoint Gary Rowat and you're like who cares? Even Gary's not bothered. Even he's chilled out about it he knows it doesn't matter. I'm already based in the Midlands there's loads of clubs around here some of crop I'll do all so for six months. Talking of red I've gone red. Why am I so red? You're just thinking about Gary Rower. Anyway, I'm just heart and excited. So I got asked about Plymouth Argyll, Rob. Yeah, okay. So then a day later, I'm like, I wonder what's, if there's any news on Plymouth Argyle message boards.

Go on. There's a 107 message long string about whether I'm funny or not. I got 107, surely that would work it out quicker than that. Well, annoyingly for me, it moved into a different discussion. So while my name was in the title, they'd started discussing whether the song I'd slagged off was good or bad. So strict or thread? Like like likethread, you know, like a message board, like... Off the back of you talking sport? The title was Josh Whitacum. Right, and what they sound about you, Josh? Did you read all of it? Yeah, I couldn't... I'll be honest with you, Rob, I sent it to my brother and it's the the th. and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, the th., th. And it, the th. And it, the th. thin, thin, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off, off off off off, off, off off off, off off, off, off, off off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off to to to to to the their their their their their their their their their their their their, off, off, off their their their their their to to to to to to ages. It was so funny. Do they think you're funny? The Plymouth fan? No.

I agree. Yeah, now you've said it, that kind of stuff is it? A lot of stuff like, I've heard he's a comedian. I don't make me laugh. Oh, man, I love it when they go. I read stuff and they go, I can't believe he earns a living as a comic. I'm like, yeah, same. We've got a lot in common. I can't believe I do. It's great. It's absolutely great. I love it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. We've got a lot, we've got a lot in common. I think we'd get on. I can't believe it either, mate. I don't think I'm funny either. I put shows on and people turn up. So I can't not. What happened?

If that happened to you? I think I'm stiggling and living as well, but here we are. I don't, a podcasting where I tell people listen I think I don't know Michael looks at the numbers and he's not he's not panicking he's just been on a day so it must be going well as far as I know he's putting them out. Oh my god yeah I tell you what these people they're angry than the host and talk sport rub. The only people who pay more than me are the Plymouth manager and the Plymouth chairman and all of the players. Yeah, I don't feel like no one really goes to the forum to go. Do you know what I just want

to say I think the lads are doing great. Yeah. Just what I'm popping it, pop on here and so I the the the the the I was so tempt, a lot of people going, does he lurk on these boards? Oh I lurk on these boards all right, mate. I'm lurking away. You're a real lurking, you've always lurked. I was so tempted to, I was so... Have you done a bit of leering out? It feels like your wheeled. It feels, it. It feels, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I. It, I. It, I. It, it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I, I. I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm. I, I'm. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. th. t. th. t t t t t t t t t t t th. th great thing about stuff peatering out, but stuff never peaters in. Yeah. That was good. And also you had a great bit about your lap and where does it go? Do you know what was on that? I said I said this the other day and I thought does that

when I'm in a car, when me and Rose get into a car and I have to move from one side to the other. I say I'll scooch up. Scooch, yes. One word is scooge. I already do some scooge stuff tonight. I've got a gig. I've got a try to. And scoge sounds like gooch. So you could do a bit. If you build it together, you could Peter and Peter out. the lap. the lap. the lap. the lap. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. to. the. to. the. to. the. the. to. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Where. I. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where's. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. But when you scooch, the lap goes, because you're up a bit and scoot. I love a scoooch.

Yeah, because you only have a lap sat down. Yeah. Oh, Rob, you're a... You know what, you find me funny than some people have read recently? I'm gonna get on that plume of flim-floor of us. I was so tempted to people online, I've sorted the black goo. All right, yeah, let's get back to, let's go back to parenting and this pod. Black goo's been sorted in your basement, dungeon, whatever it is. Yeah, in my dungeon basement.

The guy came round. Yeah, what is the black goo and what's it coming out of? It's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on th. On th. On th. On th. On th. On th. On th, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thea. thea. thi. The guy came round. Yeah. What is the black goo and what's it coming out of? It warms up if something gets hot, but it wasn't hot at the time it had happened ages ago. It was actually. There's a power surge and your little electric box. So the goo warms to stop it. It was actually, while it looked like it was still wet, it was solid. He made me check and it was solid. So you didn't touch it, you just took a photo of it. Yeah, I didn't touch the black goo because I didn't know whether it was. Would you touch bau? You know what I love the f-In't touch? Do you know what I love the most? I that, that's awful. My nose is right in there. I love a smell. Oh, I love a smell. I think if someone goes, smell that, that's most disgusting thing I've ever smell I'm bang up for it. I want to experience stuff, Josh. I agree. I agree. I agree. I don't want to collect the scent and put it in my house. But I love a, if I go, all that chicken. If I go all go, if I go, all, if I go, that, that, that, that, that, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, smell, I, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, don't, smell, smell, don't, I'm, smell, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, smell, smell, I'm like, that, that, that, that, smell, that, that, smell, that, I'm like, smell, I'm like, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, smell, I'm like, totally great. I would have touched the goo just to see if it was hard or soft to tell the electrician. I did touch it in the end it was hard. He came round,

yeah, nice bloke. He told me that Alan Carr's got a much bigger house than I have because he did his black goo recently as well. Oh, hello. Oh, I. Hey, hey up. Anyway. Yeah. So he was disappointed. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He he. He he. He he. He th. He was. He was. He was. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was. He was. He was. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was disappointed. He was disappointed. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He house once he realized who I was in his view. Yeah, he thought my house was disappointing. Yeah, I would, no, I'm not agreeing that your house is beautifully decorated, but I'd say it's a fairly normal size London sort of townhouse. He was very much attacking me from the other direction to the Plymouth Argyle fans. So he was saying that you should be sort of... You actually should be more successful than you appear to me now was what he's... Right, so he's been disappointed by what your careers brought you, whereas the Plymouth guys were in sense with what your careers brought you, which is a 10-minute PR slot and talkport with Daraabrian, Charlie Baker.

Yeah, right, yeah, that, yeah. I can see why they're angry. I can't please anyone, Rob. I can't please anyone. You can't please anybody any of the time. No, exactly. So the Black Goos dealt with. That's good. I needed to get that off the, off the menu for today.

Do you want me to run you through anything else that's happened? Oh, I had a very busy parenting day. Do you want me to run through that? Talk us about the parenting. It wasn't because what's been going on with you? Because you've been very, we've both been, we've both, we're both, I don't know. I don't know about you, I, I, I, I, I, I, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, to, to, to, to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th. th. th and th. th. the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thrown. Oh, thrown, tho, tho, thrown, tho, tho, thoooooooooooo, thooooo, tho, tho. We did last leg together. Yeah, that was fun. You and Melby. Fucking how you bonded. In Melby, we click it. We swat numbers. I'm going around her house before my Leeds date. She said, you see the countryside and I've got two rock wileys. Is that all right?

I was like, well I can't really ask her to sort of like put them down for lunch. No it's not actually can you can you re-home them or take them to the vets please? And move into a urban environment. Yeah exactly so yeah at the moment the way you've left it is Mel B. and Alex Brooker are coming to my lead show and I'm going around for lunch with Mel B. And I said I'm going around to Mel B. to that. I said I'm that. I'm to that. I'm to the to the to the the to the the to to the the the the to the to the to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to move in to move in to move in to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that the that the the the that that the that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the and she said I've not invited him in front of him. She's not got disabled access. I'd tell you what Melby says it how it is. Yeah, you know. Let's be honest looking at Alex Brooker there's a man that doesn't need to cross a Rottviler. Yeah. Yeah. He looks like he's just left Melby's house. Older attempting to break in. Is that okay? Is that okay? I don't know anymore.

Well, Alex would laugh. Alex would laugh. He's our friend. So yeah, that was fun. You don't have to do much, do you when you're a guest on the last leg? How do you find it as a guest? Well, talking about, you know, Steed in stealing stealing stealing stealing stealing stealing, really, like, it's such a well-puttogether show with about a million things going on. You're sort of, I feel like, a guest on the last egg is the cuddly toy on the

generation game. You're a big part of the show, but you're not doing much. But you do keep reappearing as it goes through the little... Yeah. As Hills he does a line dance in front of you. Yeah, I love it. It's great. It's always like the best seat of the house, but no, it's good fun. But yeah. Also as well, when one of the questions is, what do you think about the racist comments from the Tory donor about black women and you're on the show with a black woman, I sort of thirty..'t my question to answer. I'll take this Mel. Yeah, you're going to go, oh keep that keep it down Mel I'm gonna answer. It's like, you know what? That's that's that's Mel's question, let mell do that. Yeah, yeah. I sort of tapped out of that which I think was the right respectful thing to do to do to do to do. to do. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's th. that's that's that's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that's that's that the right, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the right, I'll the right, I'll the right, I'll the right, I'll the right, I'll the right, I'll the right, I'll that's the right, keep that. I'll that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the right, the right, the the the the the right, the the to keep the that's that's the that's the that's that's the right, I'm the right, keep the right, I'm the right, keep the right, I'm the right, Yeah, so that was good. That was good, nice to see you in work mode. It's weird, isn't it? Yeah. I also very much enjoyed when Mel was talking about very serious topic of racism, you still had sunglasses on a Hawaiian shirt and a weird cap, and I slowly saw you take all of your

fancy dress off when the chat got the serious. Because I don't, I don't know if it was, you play it was Mel talking about domestic abuse Rob. Oh God yes that's even worse. And I was like I can't if they cut to me wearing sunglasses drinking drinking out of a coconut at this point it's not it's not the look I'm looking for. You're not taking that the subject seriously it. I do think I don't appreciate how live because I was so tired by the time it started. I've. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. the. the. the. I was. I was so. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. the. the. th. the. the. I'm. I'm. I'm th. the. the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. the. the. the. t. t. t. t. t. the. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. was so tired by the time it started, I've been up since six. Oh, it's so late. It's 10 p.m. and you've got to be on because you've got to be funny. You've got to make sure you don't say anything that's going to get you in trouble because it's live. And then you do cover serious topics. It's amazing to be polite to your guests and you laugh with what they say. But you also know that you're on TV.

So for instance when Miriammargley says she wished Boris Donoghlan had died of COVID. What's your face when that happened? Well also that was on one of the ones where we were doing it on Zoom because it was during COVID and so you know your face is actually directly on screen because it's a forecut. Yes of course yeah I mean also as well you don't look like a massive Boris fan either. No it's it's very difficult to know how you've got to separate someone's politics from their death. Yeah you've got to separate someone's politics from their death. Yeah you've got to separate someone's politics from their death that you said about Saddam Hussein. Yeah I was always chatting about him when I was seven. I text you before I knew you my views

on that just so you had it on record. But yeah so there is difficulties but there we go but we've had that on here haven't we robbed but the good thing on here is when we've had people tell stories and we think, this isn't right, but it's going to be cut. We can edit it. We can save them. I'm not going to challenge them on this. I'm just going to edit it out. Yeah, just, just, yeah. That's, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's. Oh, right. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. that's right. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, is it fun hosting the Ranganation? Let's talk about kids. Let's talk about the tele. Let's talk about kids. Get back to the real shit.

Thursday. Last Thursday. Yeah. Do you all have a guess where Rose was? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is it always the same place or is it a different bloke? Yeah, it's difficult to know. Because I tell you what, he must be, if it's just one bloke, he must be fucking naked. He doesn't know. He feels like, Rose, if you are going to do this, at least have two fellas on the go. This poor bloke. He must be shagged out, man. You feel like that's how Rose if you are going to do this at least have two fellas in the go, this poor bloke.

He must be fucking shagged out, mate. You've got to separate the affair from the human, right? And this kind of human level is exhausted. Oh my word. So she was away. You were away together though, didn't you for a night at the start of the week? On Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday on Saturday. On a the th. On th. Oh, on th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thooooooooooooo. th. th. thogether though didn't you for a night at the start of the week? On Saturday yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was nice to see her.

No, she's just finishing. There's having the kids over the next few months. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, we don't like to talk to each other when we're doing pick up and drop off. But we like to keep it civil. Yeah, so she's, to renovation which finishes in 10 days time. Lovely. Yeah, she's on a new project. So she's away at the moment as well.

Um, again. Do you know what? I've realized Rob. You know what? I've realized Rob. Yeah, what's that? The 10 years of her going out with a comedian, it's fucking rubbish. When we're a... I didn't quite realize how annoying it is when I must

go away. Yeah, of course. But now the shoes are the other foot, it's annoying, isn't it? No, I've been very supportive. In the house? Well done, mate. Yeah. No, you've got to be, you've got to be supportive. You've got to be supportive. Can you not just not fucking go? But yeah, I'll have great time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he woke up as you were leaving the house because you slammed the door. But then you want to say, do you want to just sort of close a little bit quieter when

you leave before you go? And then you know that you're going to get 15 of different occasions where you came back drunk from the last leg waking up kids back in the day. Oh, your lover was revving his Lamborghini outside when you left the... Lover? I don't think anyone said your lover was revving their Lamborghini as a sentence ever. Do you know what? I met a girl from school. Okay.

So you're both glad to see other people then? From a girl I went to school with, yeah, I met 15 years on. Right. And she used the word lover consistently. But that's because she was from the West Country. No, not like my lover. She'd say, she said about the rose, is this your lover? And you're like, no, that's why?

No, that's why. No you're like, no, yeah. That's, no, that's, yeah, all right, my lover, that's fine. And she'd say, so you'd say, she was saying about her lover, so as if you met me and you went, this is Lou, she's my lover. No, that's mental. It's fucking weird. You say, you say, you then I also, I've got a gig in the evening, always be comedy. I'm doing both the 630 and the 8 p.m. show. Right. Okay. Cool. So what's going on with the kids? So they were at school or nursery? Or was a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their the the the their their their their their their their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. I. the. the. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the both the 630 and the 8 p.m. show. Right, okay. Cool. So what's going on with the kids? So they were at school or nursery? They were at school. Yeah. And then...

So, have you dropped them off? So, my daughter's at school. Yeah. I'm working all day. Shell, our nanny is doing, looking after our son. Right. She has to go. I know, she can't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi. thathe. tho. tho. tho. tho. the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the their. the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. to. to. to. to. to. to. theea. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooo. know, she can't do the evening. Right. I've got another person, Martin, who's taking over in the evening. You're like Lou Baga, Mambo number five. I know, mate. Little bit of Martina in the... A little bit of nanny,

Martin's not done it in a few months. What times Erica starting? Tina does nights, isn't it? So, Martine's not done it in a while. My daughter doesn't want, oh sorry, it doesn't want to be put to bed by anyone that isn't me or Rose. Yeah, I get that. That's what's difficult, isn't it? Because it's it's hard for them because you can't, it's not like chopping, changing someone that, you know, yeah. So I'm like, it's fine. She really gets on with Martin. You can stay up late with Martin until I get back. Right, okay, cool, fair enough. She's having a late night because there's literally... And there's literally... No, no, other option.

Well, Catherine Ryan used to take her daughter to the gigs when she was solo parenting and stuff so... Yeah. No, no, the that no no exactly and also I can't do that because I've got my son there as well so I'd have to leave him asleep in an empty house and you Martin and your daughter were all going to the gig yeah that's not a good idea either so shell can stay late enough to put my son to sleep early and then Martin can hang out with my daughter for the evening while I do the gig. And you're doing all the sadistics just to go to work? Just to go to an unpaid new material sludge twice.

You're making a loss. I'm making a loss because you're having to pay for child care. Childcare and the Uber. On the subject of the Uber, obviously, so Shell picks up from school and she says, Josh, I didn't have time, by the way your petrol's very low, I'm like, it's fine, I'm not using the car tonight. Is she driving your car then? She does use your car for the school drive? So we're like, I'm like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, she, she, th. th. th. th. th. Sh. Sh. Sh. Sh. Sh. Sh. Sh. Sh. Sh. Sh. Sh. Sh. Sh. Sh. Sh. Sh. She, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she. She. She. She. She. She. She, she. She, she. She, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she's, she's, she's, she's. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. She's. She's. She's. She's'm like, don't worry about that. I'm not using the car tonight because I'm going to just Uber to the gig so that I can, because I've done no, I had no time

to work on the material, so I'm going to write some material in the Uber to the gig to make this worth time. Yeah, exactly. So, I still deal with microphones, huh? Yeah. What's the deal with this room? And then I'm on with Stephen Merchant who's like absolutely word for word perfect. In half an hour of observational material. And it's absolutely, I'm literally like...

He's so well. This is a paper paper everywhere I can't remember whether I've written it on my phone or on a piece of paper like he's so tight with his stuff it's so solid yeah and it's unbelievable I think he must practice at home he turns out and he goes it got some new bits and it's like he's doing a one man play I stumble on and go back aren't badgers weird and they're like yeah and I go yep that's all I got so far I'll find I'll the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the thi th the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the to the the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the't badgers weird? And they're like, yeah, and I go, yeah, that's all I got so far. But I'll find out a reason why in a minute. Are you all aware of badgers?

Okay, I'll go away and write a bit on badgers for next time. He seems to me into the badger stuff, so I'll have a little Google of to sleep, she overlaps with our team. Yeah. The Uber, I can't get an Uber. And my, I'm on stage at 7 p.m. and I, if the Uber arrives, now I get there at 6.57. So I'm like, well, I've just got to jump in the car. I'm just going to have to drive. Yeah, because really for a gig, you should be there about half an hour before stage time. But because of all this overlap, I'm like, of course, yeah.

So I'm jumping in the car. And you can just say it's Rose's fault. I'm joking. I'm joking now. It's not, I'm joking myself. I'm joking. I'm joking we're not here, we're not, yeah, I've overcommitted myself. Yeah, that's fine. When I marry Rose. Oh God, you're fine. Bit of fun. Bit of fun. You're being like divorce lawyers in the office just saying, It was just banter. It was just locker room.

On episode 43 of series 7, you said, it was a bit of, I was playing the character of Josh Winnikir. Exactly. Talked to my tax man. But, um, You just strike me t-shirts, don't go, that's a tax benefit. Shows how much I know about finances. Talk to my tax man. You don't's a tax benefit that shows how much I know about finances to my tax man you don't have a tax I try to riff something about tax I don't understand I couldn't do a Jimmy car because I don't understand it's well

enough but anyway not not and I wouldn't want to but anyway just now that now that wasn't fun that was that was yeah so I have to drive to the gig to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the toy. to to to toy. to to to to tas. I tas. I to to tas. I to to to t. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I te. I te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. tttttb. I t be good at that now that wasn't fun. That was that was yeah. So I have to drive to the gig on the way to the gig. I'm trying to think through new bits. Yeah, I've got a new bit about running a petrol being late. I've got two new bits. I can't even remember what they are. I get to the gig, I go straight on, do the gig. I have, by the way, nine miles on my petrol thing. Yeah, because it's got a digital display. And it's six miles.

Yeah, I know, big shot, hey. It's got six. Pay in mind, I've got two nannies. Neither of them are helpful in this situation. Then the petrol is six miles to Kennington so yeah it's nine miles left and then I'll just get back I've got to order Martina pizza between the two gigs. Surely she could order that and then you just pay for it. Well we've kind of settled into that as our thing whenever we... So...

I'm a mushroom. So you're driving... You're driving to this gig. I'm just got a try and I've got another one in half now. We'll quickly get get deliverer up. Let's get her a pizza. My fucking life. So you're driving, nine miles in the tank, six mile drive.

Not only do I not have any new material, yeah. But I watched Stephen Merchant, and he's got some material that is other new material I've got so I have now lost a routine. Yes. I'm down the routine. I'm not even up a routine. You've lost one. I'm just seeing someone do it better than you could. I'm just seeing someone do my windbreak stuff better than my right so that's gone. Who's my was my there? Get back in the car. Obviously I'm gonna enjoy this by the way. I can't be too late. I. Right. I. So, so that's. I, that's. I, that's. I, that's th. I, th. I, th. I, th th th th th th th th. I, I, I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've the the th. I've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I, I, I, I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've the the the the the the the the the the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I there. Get back in the car. Obviously, I'm going to enjoy this by the way. I probably too late because my daughter's way beyond bedtime by this point. Yeah.

Um, get in the car. I think, how are the gigs? All right? Yeah, they were good actually. The first one was easy in the second. So why do I say that? But the first one I thought, I'm a god here, the second one I thought, I've got nothing. You know, and the truth is somewhere in between. Yeah. Really? I'm talking about something in between. What is it ordering a pizza? Yeah? And so I get back in the car. I think, I'm in London, I'll put the route home and I'll just pass a petrol station. Of course, yeah, you're in London, you're a big city.

Yeah. So as I approach the rather high tunnel, Rob, I didn't even know it could do this. It, it, the miles thing, yeah, it's just a dash now. It doesn't say zero. It's gone into a dash like you've turned off a digital, like a digital clock is reset. The panic. To be going, because you're thinking, I'd now take breaking down but not being in the tunnel. Because if I break down in the rather high tunnel, this is just the disaster to end all disaster. I'd say it's probably the worst place in London to break down. Yeah.

Oh my God. So anyway. Are you not tempted by the Woolage ferry? If I've ever told you about the like Ways or Google Maps and he didn't know London and all of a sudden I'm like hang on the Woolwich ferry here go to an airport. Right everyone might John Candy. I'm like hold up and but he don't know he's done it yet and all of a sudden he's in like, when you get, once you get on the Woolage Ferry, you can't, there's no way, you're on. When there's a boat, he starts going, boat,

I'm like, yeah, but you're the Woolage Ferry. It's a Woolage Ferry, and I went, and I went, my flight in about 45 minutes and now. Oh, God. Hopping across. Fuck it out. That was so stressful. He blessed him. He was so upset and panicked. Because he didn't know, imagine following your sat and having you end up on a boat.

Oh my God. In London. Anyway, so you're in rubber I've. I then I think I've just got to put petrol station into my, um, into my app. Yeah, it's so so hairy. so. I. I so. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's so so th. I's so I think I've just got to put petrol station into my, into my app. Yeah, it's so hairy driving through a tunnel typing petrol station into a phone. But what the fuck could I do? I'm panicking at this point. I know it's bad.

But I've got to... Surely the signal was not good enough to search a petrol station under the Thames. No, it's not. I can get the words, thia thia the word, thia thia, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, ty.a. ty. ty. ty. ty. I have to make a decision at the end of the tunnel because at the end of the tunnel that's the key moment. I... It's the windy one as well isn't it? Yeah, it's so so. You know why it's windy, little fact? No. Built for a horse and cart. Oh, that is a good fact. Yeah. that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a good, that is a good, that is a good, that is a good, that is a good, that is a good. Oh, that is a good. Oh, the the that is a good. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoomoom, the the thoom. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thu. tunne. tunne. tunnene. tunnenene. tunnenenene. tunneneuune. tunnene. tunne. tunne. tunne. tunne. tunne. t and up. Someone's done QI this series. I actually got a question right on QI by accident. Did you? Oh? Yeah. That's pretty impressed. I knew it though. Because I always say don't get the question right I'm like, yeah. Don't why it's not going to happen. Because if you get it right, then there's no banter around it. Yeah. I had to apologize. I went on it this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this time. Didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't this time. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I didn't thi. I didn't th. I didn't that's pretty th. I didn't that's pretty th. I didn't that's pretty th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I'm pretty pretty pretty th. I'm pretty th. I'm pretty thi. I'm pretty thi. I'm pretty thr thr thr that's pretty thr thr that's pretty that's pretty that's pretty that's pretty throeee. I that's pretty thi. thi. I's pretty there was a question about music and what vinyl has been pressed the most. I said, Blue Monday by New Order is the best-selling 12-inch. Sandy Toxfick, who knows everything. This is, she hadn't heard of New Order.

Really? And you're like, what different world do I live into Sandy Tockfic, where we've got no overlapping knowledge at all? But you look exactly the same? Exactly! Exactly! It's weird! It's so weird! It.... It's. It's. It's so? It's so? It's so? It's so. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi the the the the the thi the the the the the the the the the thi, thi. But you look exactly the same. Exactly. It's weird. It's so weird. Anyway, it looks like you've met at a convention. It does. Maybe we were separated at birth and we've got half that we just total. Anyway, unlikely.

I got to the petrol station. Yeah. Treat myself to a dime bar to calm myself down. Is that the one th?? th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th that, that, that, that, that, exactly that, exactly that, exactly that, exactly that's that's that's that's that's that's thate. thate. thate. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thia. thia. thiaa'. thia'. tha'a'a'a'a'a'a'a. thia. thi. Treating myself to a dime bar to calm myself down. Is that the one that's next to the McDonald's? I don't know by now. Yeah, I think it was next to McDonald's. Yeah, it's like a BP one that's on that road. Yeah. There's probably only one around there. There's not many. No. Made at home. A quarter to 10. 10. 10. to 10. that. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then she's still awake. She's still awake. I'd take her to bed, get her to sleep about 10.15.

Yep. And then that was my day. Oh, and then I had dinner. How would you have? Well, because there was meat on the pizza. So, Martin didn't finish that. So, um... Oh, so Martin didn't finish a pizza? No, it was fair enough. Was you attempted to just order a mushroom I don't go, oh, they'd run out of ham?

Maybe I'd do that next time. You just like mushroom, didn't you? Coo-Ch-oh-yeah, so that's stressful day of parent thing anyway. Well, yeah, it's because, you know, if someone's away and you've still got a work, it is just... Oh, my word, it's hairy, isn't it? Very, very hairy. I mean, what, I've been... Anyway, Rob, two things.

Rose's away and I'm working doing the same two gigs again tonight, so that'll be fun. It's the same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same the same same same same the same same the same same same same the same same same same same the same same same the same be fun. It's the same set up again. Yeah, but Rosie's mom's coming this time. Oh, that's good. So she can just have them both from the off. Yeah, I think that's good. Oh, that's good. I've been doing. We've been watching classic old films with the kids. Oh, nice. Oh, nice. Chindler's list. No. basic instinct. Honey I'll shrunk the kids. Oh, how is it? Great. Do you know what I found?

They put it on? They've ever seen Baby's Day out? Yeah, yeah. Great thing. They loved that one. And then I thought, oh, these sort of like, John Hughes did honey, I'll shan't the kids. Yeah, but that kind of it. They's kind kind they they they they they they they they they Yeah, but that kind of it, they love it and it was so fun watch it.

It was funny though, on honey I shrew at the kids, they've got Rick Moranis, obviously. There's a bit where you're just like, the opening shot of him just looking at his machine that he's building. They just pissed himself laughing. Just at his face. Poor bloke. That's a living. It's a lip-stick. Tell that to the Plymethar girl fucking message board, mate. I should have gone on and gone. What do you think of hunting?

Have you done home alone? We did a bit, but it's a little bit scary for them. Ah. Did a little bit. So my dogs, one of my dogs been humping the other dog, but they've had their nuts off. But it's still the dominance thing, where they just sort of hump the other dog.

Anyway, my daughter's like, oh, look what they're doing. They're doing the gonger. Well no they did not join the gonger line. Well no they did not join the conga line. Yeah that's been cracking us up. I want to ask you this just well right on your alarms right in the morning. We've been getting up early right this last couple weeks for different things. I don't well, right? On your alarms, right, in the morning, we've been getting up early, right, this last couple of weeks for different things.

I don't have alarms now? On your phone? Because my children just wake up. Yeah, do I have a million alarms? Well, not just a million, but I've got so I get up my alarm at the moment is 6 a.m. yeah and it just says fall off the turkey from when I lose went off the other day and it said buy a Glastonbury ticket so obviously it was it was a time set for another reason yeah I just wanted if you've got any anyone else got them on their alarms I think it's a funny thing. That's a good one. Four minutes past midnight. Yeah. Remember driver's license. I think that, I remember driver's license paper. I think that is

early flight and renting a car. That's my guess on that one. Yeah. Let me find the other ones. There'll be more. I've got medicine, antibiotics. That's a good one. But just for reminders to do that day. Tickets, national tickets. That's tickets to watch the national, presumably. Two minutes past eight in the morning. They must have gone on sale that day. Now because the time changes though. So that's the thing about, so I'm having foil off turkey. I just click I just a a the the the the to. to. to. their. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. their. tooe. tooea. thahaphaphaphaphaphaphapy. thahapy. thahapy. thahomenk. thahomenkiovue. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. tha. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. t. t. t. t. t. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. And. So. So. I'm just just just just. I'm. t. And. And. And. So, I'm. you just change it. Whereas I've got, look at this. I never delete them so I've just got every time I've ever woken up. Just listed. And there's some really weird ones like, why am I setting an alarm for like 9 p.m. or 9.45? Or I've literally set alarms. I do it for getting stuff out the oven. 3, 4 p.m. Or? Or? Or. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.m. th.m.m. th.m.m.m.m. I. I.m. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I've th. I've to. I've to. I'm to. I've to. I've to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. t. t. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. the. I've. I've. I've. I'm do it for getting stuff out of the oven. 3, 4 p.m.

Or sometimes I've got like 6.30 p.m. which is like I'm having to sleep before my gig. That'll be when you're doing last leg. Oh yeah, Visha money. Visha. 9.20. Visha was a cleaner I had in 2006. When we moved to London, and that was the first time in the contract, we were told to get a cleaner, like as part of the house. Right, okay.

And it was a transform moment in my life. Because I, yeah, so Visha, I had to get money out for her at 9.20 a.m. 15 years ago and I've still got the paper DVLA form similar similar similar situation. Can I ask you something Josh I mean to do one past you because I don't think I'm getting old and angry like an old man but the but you've been off the job and talk sport. No the pothole situation at the moment seems to be off the chart and I don't know if it's moved to the country Rob even when I'm like in London London. in in in in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. the the the to. the the to. to. to. to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I don't know if it moved to the country Rob even when I'm like in London or in Bromley there's luck it's like it's gone up a level and I don't know if it's because I'm just getting older noticing or if there are more but it feels like part was again I think you're getting older did you know a bit of a fact go up that pot holes is the biggest the biggest topic in terms of what th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. tho. tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi-nnnne the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thooo tho theotholes is the biggest, it's the biggest topic in terms of what affects votes in an election is

potholes. Yeah, because it's just the thing you see the most where it's decaying. The thing people care about most in society's potholes. Right, so maybe that's why the try, but it does, I don't know if they're like a line about it to try and get the votes to swing in a set way way way way way way way way way way...... But the vote. What, what, what, what, what, but, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, but is, what is, but is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, they. they. What is, they. But, they. But, they. But, they. And, they. But, the, the, they. And, they. And, the, the, they. the, the, they. they. they. the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, is, try and get the votes to swing in a set way, but... What is a hole in the road? How does it, I know, but how does it, why is there suddenly? They don't wear away? So what happens? Why does a hole suddenly pop? I don't know, but I've seen people go around, but what they do is they fill it now. the whole, like, lool the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the hole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. I. th. th. th. th. Who but there was what like loo anyone the other day and broke her tire. But anyway I don't know I just wanted to run it past you I just wonder if I'm getting old turning to an old gammon man. Well I don't think so I quite enjoy them it feels like you're a Mario car. I don't I don't not enjoy that. I not. Particularly if I'm on zero petrol, God,

it's exciting driving with me. Oh, Josh, I took a leaf out your book the other day. Oh yeah. I've been, like, so you know you said you always go away when you do the school drop-off. Yeah. I need, I had a busy school drop-offs, I needed a and I went in and I was like it's not quite nice actually isn't it? It's and it feels like I just feel like but then I feel like it's almost like drugs like once your bladder knows it's there yeah it's hard not to go but it's just a toilet there it's an oasis in the

middle of all this madness as well and you think when you're stood in that to thi thoo the the th and the th and the th and th and the the th and th and the tho the tho tho tho the tho tho tho the tho. tho. It's tho. It's tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tolde. I tolde. I tolde. I tolde. I'm the tolde. I'm the toldo. I'm toldo. I told. I'm told. I told. I'm to to to in that toilet and you think, how many teachers have just walked in here and gone, lock the door and gone, oh that's better. Oh, God, there's no children in here. I have alone. I presume none, because they're all wonderful professionals. Yeah. Now I know it's there. Every time I go now, I'm like, I could have a quick piss here. Yeah. He's told me the piss man. So here's a question, Rob. Go on. What would you have done in this situation? So I did the one show, yeah? The same day as talk sport. Yeah. So there's no polite way to say this. I needed a shit after the one show. I was looking at your diet. He was very busy that day. He was out with Dara all day. He was doing 7 a.m. on the radio up till 7 p.m. Yeah. And I know we've got the same agency

that can schedule brilliant scheduling work. However, I feel and I'm, there must be like these like politicians or like CEOs whose days like this every day where they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I to th. I th. I th. I to th. I th. I to th. I to the. I to to to to to th. I to to th. I to to to th. I to to the. I the. I'm th. I there must be like these like politicians or like CEOs whose days like this every day where they have to say to their PA, I need to have a shit as I've had to say that before to like my agent, I said Rich, I've got to have a shit at some point and at the moment I'm back to back. And he said and I quite need a ship I don't think. But then it gets the Under the One Show. And the toilet's quite close to the studio so you want to make a noise. You've just got to make for one. Puh. One.

Duh. Duh. Just doing it in the time of the intro show soundtrack is fucking mental by the way. I know it's it. What even is it? One! It's not a two! It's not a two! It's not a two! Um, anyway, it gets the end of the one. What will you on with?

Stacey Dooley. Right, okay. Oh, you know Stacey. Yeah. Which, thank you for watching. Thank you. Those people have watched it. So keep watching it.

It's been really successful. So keep watching it. The more you watch it, the more you talk about it, the more you talk about it the more chance you'll get coming back so please keep supporting it we appreciate it don't we Josh we do we bloody well do appreciate it. So I was on Stacey I was on the one show that was that was a Freudian slip I was on the one show I always was on Stacy Doon I was on the one show with Stacy Doole I was on the one show with Stacy do yes so it all finishes their car and I'm like well I did it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's did it's did it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was on the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the show with Stacy Dooley. Yes. So it all finishes. Everyone wants to get their car. And I'm like, well, it's a long way. She needed a poo on the show. Well, it didn't, you don't clock it when you're on the show,

do you? It's like what absolutely. But you need it before you went live. Yeah, but a poo though, rushing a poo's bad? You don't want to rush a poo. Well then, you only have to sort it out in about an hour. Yeah, afterwards, what's Dr. Theatre is something people saying comedy and TV, I'm sure you must, which is that however shit you feel,

oh, when you go on stage, you feel totally fine and then you feel rubbish so you can do most things You can perform feeling awful and then you're the adrenaline gets you through. Yeah Yeah and so I then everyone's leaving and I'm thinking I just want to go to the toilet here Who's hosted Lauren and Germain. First names. Great, great, great, sorry, Lauren Laverne and Jemaine Jeanne Ginas. Jeanne Cleans, cleaner and you're always anyway. Oh, that's good stuff. Do you know what? He was in the toilet afterwards and I thought I can't go in because he's at the urinal. I can't go in. So for the people that know, he's downstairs downstairs is downstairs is downstairs is downstairs, downstairs, down is downstairs, down down down is downstairs, down down down down down is downstairs. It is downstairs. It's down. It's down. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to's at the urinal. I can't go in. So for the people that know is downstairs by the it's very small dressing rooms so everyone's on top of each other for the one show and there are two urinals two cubicles. Yeah and it's

that you they know and only really only the people in the show go on it. So it's not Stacey and so it's not Stacey and so it's either you or Dara. Yeah, of course. Having a dump. And so I'm like, I'm going to go to the toilet, you guys go. And then there's a runner that's tasked of getting me to my car. And I'm like, it's like a junior person of production, I mean, I'm patronizing anyone, but if you don't know, normally you're at entry level job, at a cliff, entry level sort of like the first job you're doing TV where you're normally about 18, very, very young, very excited, very excited, and you basically go, can I get you anything,

coffee teas and you run around doing odd jobs and stuff, and they're really attentive, sometimes too attentive. Well, I want, I was just like, I just, I just, it's all right. I don't know how I want to have a shit. Please stop asking if I want a diet coke. But I couldn't, so in the end, I just had, they were just stood outside the toilet. Oh no, no, no, no, but not in the toilet outside the cubicle. But then, they're like, it's all right, I'll wait. Because obviously it's on there, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, I don't, I don't, I, I don't, I, I, I, I don't, I, I, I don't, I don't, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. tho. tho. tho, I'll wait. And I'm like, you don't have to, no, it's fine, it's fine. Because obviously it's on there, they can't go and go,

they've got to say, is their job. Yeah, their job is, that'd have been told, don't let Josh out your site, make sure you're always there whatever I've watched some YouTube videos or whatever. Yeah and you're like they know I know I know I started just going art can I have a minute I'm gonna I need a shit have you that's what I need to do I think it's just easier for everyone yeah because people all people shit I know why am I embarrassed I was it I was in the chemist there was a lady in there trying to get like she was for a husband or a son or something she's a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th I I I I I I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I I I th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was thin thin. I was th. I'm th. I'm thi thi. I'm theeeeeeeeeeee. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. lady in there trying to get like she was trying to get a husband or a son or something that and she was trying to get that's that he's got bad stomach and you get it's really windy and

all this stuff you know and he feels a bit sickie like that and just getting us like busca pan or whatever it was and then she was all but then oh it was all the oh it was not for me oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh it's oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh it's oh yeah oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh the the the the the the the the the th so so so so so so so so the the the th so so so th I the the the the the the the the the the is that for him as well? She went, no, that is for me. I was like, oh, Oh, God. Anyway, I don't know why I started talking about that. No, they didn't, but um. Having a shit at work so difficult, especially when it's always a new office. That's the self. The freelancer's biggest issue is not working out. Because once you're in a company and you've got the same office, you can work out a system. Yeah, yeah. Another one, I don't want it to be too in TV, but when you go turn up at a show,

they'll, producers will come intermittently, wardrobe will come and say, what are you wearing? Someone will come and say, can you go to makeup? Can I just taught you through the show? Yeah. So if I turn up at a show and I need a shit. Right. I can't go because my door could be knocked on at any moment. Well, yes, normally they put you in a dressing room with a toilet, but it's basically like, there is a door. But if you have to have a thin, thin, thin, thin, like, like, like, like a thin, like a to have a to have a to have a to have to have to have to have to have to have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be, to be, to be tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom, too th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. too, toa, to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, whole room sinks a shit. So then you have to try and find another toilet somewhere in the building. Oh my word. And then you get lost and then sometimes you need a little key card.

Yeah, you're just a man wandering around trying to have a shit. Oh my word. Before you know it, you're on the set of East Ender. I thought it was a real toilet! Oh God, that's great. Next week I'll talk a lot more about parenting. Give us some trails what we're going to talk. Well, okay, so basically... We did, we did. It's all about what we've been up to. Well, it's been super busy because I've been promo in the tour,

but that's all done now. Lou is starting a course at the London College of Fashion. Oh, that's good. She's doing a course on bag, design and production. She's got an idea for a business she wants to do. So she's going back to college to sort of learn about the industry properly. So she's starting that next week and she's like in London all like office hours, nine till six like Monday to Friday. So I'm picking up a bit more of the slack with the school drops and stuff like that. So yeah, it's... Lose away. Lose away.

Here we go. I'm going to have a bowl of porridge to live Josh's life. My wife's not here and I'm soaking in oats. So yeah, so that's going to be a, I've got a very busy couple a couple of weeks coming, busy than it would be normally because I'm doing a bit more of the child care. So I'll be reporting back. That's exciting. That is exciting. Yeah, so funny. It's so funny. It's really funny. It's so funny. It's so funny. It's really so funny. It's really, so I'm just really. the to be thin. to. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thin. I'm thin. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's a. I's a. I's a. I's a. I's a th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm too many it's almost feels like I'm just sort of letting it get on with it I don't have you got this if you got that and stuff so I'll report back and she was keeping

people updated what she's doing on her Instagram but yeah report back on the parent inside next week Josh excellent excellent yeah Rose away next week but to the told me to the to the told to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the they. I I'm not joking two days. She goes away two days a week for it but for some reason they always fall on record days of parenting hell. So I don't know, don't know what's going on there. That's not I'm not blaming her. I'm just saying... I'm just saying... so if I spoke to on another day she, so tomorrow is she at home? No that's one of her two days? tod. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's one that's one that's one that's that's that's that's that's that's one that's that's one that's one that's one that's one that's one that's one that's one that's that's that's one that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. So that's th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the one of her two days. Right, okay. Yeah. Right, okay, cool. So yesterday, if I said... She was here yesterday. Oh, right, okay, cool. That's it wasn't in the house. No. But... She was in London. Yeah. Oh, by the way, you've got a porridge porridge goblin friend. Who? Joel Dommet? Oh, that's the Leon porridge. And actually I was giving a bit stick over the porridge goblin, but he's so fit and musselly that I'm like, well maybe I should be having porridge like Joel Dommet.

Why don't you have porridge next week and report back? Have it with some honey, a bit of banana. Do you know what, we've done worse features than Rob having porridge for a week and seeing how he reacts. I don't think we have th I I I I have I I have I I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th. Yes. Yes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thea. to thoooooooooooooooo'a. to thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo he reacts. I don't think we have. Bear in mind I once recorded myself approaching a red light and kept a, uh... Oh, because it took so long to change. Yeah. Well, let's, I'll tell you what, let's put it down as a potential. I'll have porridge every day for a week and see if I get ripped like Joel Domit.

Yeah, I think he is, yeah, yeah, the Goldie Bucks diet. Maybe I'll get Joel, like schedule of fitness and food. I think it's quite simple, whereas I will have a Raman a pizza probably twice a week from Peter. Oh my God, I had a pizza on Thursday for lunch, not on Thursday, whenever I was with Dara. Yeah. Yeah. Yeahto Pizza Pilgrims. I felt like I'd been punched in the fucking face. I fucking pizza at lunch and then had to talk to Johnny Vaughn for 20 minutes. I just barely keeping my head above water. You're a sensitive soul, at your job? I am! Right, let's do this small business shout out, shall we? Yeah. There we go, here we go.

Hi guys, I'm a bit behind, but catching up currently on series four, episode seven. No idea where that is. Love the podcast. Whilst I don't have any kids now, I enjoy listening to the trials and tribulations of parenthood. We did at one point have four dogs.. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoes. thoes, thoes, thoes, tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let tho, tho, tho, tho, tho tho tho thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe, tho th have any kids now, I enjoy listening to the trials and tribulations of parenthood. We did at one point have four dogs. So in a way at some points it was just as crazy. I think that's harder work than kids, four dogs. They're basically like six year olds forever.

Yes. Although Rose claims she was joking when she said this. What gone? The other night, I, my daughter, my, my, my, my, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, in the middle of the night. Yeah. And I had to go and lie, she was like, couldn't go back to sleep. So I went and lay up there with her. Yeah. Yeah, she fell asleep. Then, every time I woke up in the night to leave, she woke up and I had to stay there

all night. Yeah, right. And in the morning I'm like, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, to, I, I was, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, she, she was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I was, I, I was, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, thi. thin. thin. tho. tho. tho. tha. tha. tha. thooo. tha. tooo. too. too. too. too. too. like, well I had the cat all night. And you're like, mate, what? That's a very, she claims she was joking. I was not in the mood for that joke, Rob. No, I don't think, because like, even if the cat is keeping you up, fucking launch it out. Well, our cat, it pours at our face, it pours at night. It will shut the door. Bob, we just love that cat too much. Well, I think if you've got a problem with the cat wake you up, shut your door and put the cat, and put the cat out the child, you can't just put your child in the garden and shut the door.

Yeah. Right, here we go. This is the lady. Oh Oh yes, did they say you had four dogs? Oh Gershift, Josh. Sadly we lost two of our dogs close together. My partner took up making items for home and hound to keep her mind busy after the sad loss of two of our beloved pooches. She works so hard and I'm immensely proud of all she has achieved. She is self-taught and her finished products have an amazing finish and top quality feel. Her business is craft creations by Jenna, lovingly handmade in Colchester but all items can be posted. She makes, yeah it's tough to run a collection-only business. Right, I'm just driving to Colchester pick up some poo bag holders.

Now she makes everything from peg ba-s, Right, I'm just driving to Colchester pick up some poo bagholders. She makes everything from peg bags, reusable hand warmers, reusable food and snack bags, reusable food covers, and for the dog walkers, poop bagholders and dog treat bags, plus much more. She is on Etsy, Craft Creations by Jenna or Instagram at Craft Creations by Jenna. In your basket, quote, save 05 for 5% off. Keep up the great work and thanks for the shout out if we get one Craig from Colchester. So that's nice she turned the sadness of losing her dogs into a new business good on your Jenna. Thank for listening everyone. Yes and we'll see

you on Friday for a guest and back on Tuesday where I'll report in the world of parenting. Exciting times. Right, see you that mate. Bye.