Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S8 EP5: WORMS IN THE HOUSE!!

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond... with Rob and Josh. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

I'm going back to university for $0.00. I'm going back to university for university for $0.00. to the to-neuvre. th, $ $1 thoom. thoom. thoom. I thoom. I thoom. I students thoom. I thoom. thi. I thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I'm thae. I'm thae. thae. I's thae. I's thae. I's thae. I's thae. I's thae. I's tha. I's tha. I's tha. I's tha. I's tha. I's tha. I's tha. I. I's tha. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm thae. I'm ta. I'm ta. I'm ta. ta.a. ta.a. ta. ta.a. ta.a. ta.a. ta. ta. ta back on rides. Not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber won for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $499 a month. Savings Mayfair, eligibility and member terms apply. Hello, you're listening to Parents in Hell, with you.

Ready? Yeah. All right. Elsie. Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Whidicam? Josh Widdickham. Well done. Either you have a turn? Can you say Rob Beckett? Ah.

Yeah, Josh Widdickum? Ah, lovely. Oh, lovely. Oh, cuddles. Well done. Good one that. The second one, I think she could be a BBC commissioner the way she reacted to our names. Hello this is my three year.

Oh not sure about that. Not sure about Josh. We don't do much of the BBC, do we do much of the BBC, do I do? I do much the radio. I do a lot of promo. We got to get the beeb, well no, we got banned for the one show, didn't we? Well, I got banned from the one show, didn't we? Well, I got banned from the one show. And then they got banned from the one show and then they wouldn't let me on on my own because of radio too. And they're the radio their their they're their their to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be on, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the their. We their. We their. We their. We their. We their their their their the the the the the the. the the the the the the the. to the to the to the to to to to, I'm apparently I'm going on with Allison Hammond without you to promote smart TV. So it's like you do trouble with Alice and Hammond without you.

What the... This is how it starts, is it? It's that the management game- Oh, my word. They're playing us against each other. I'll be honest Rob. I'll be honest Rob. I'll be honest, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, I'll the the the the the the the the the th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll the th. I'll the th. I'll the th. I'll tho, I'll tho, I'll that, I'll tho, I'll th. I was th. I was th I was going, I was going th I was going I was going I was going I was going I was going, I was going, I was going, I was th. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll thi. I'll that, I'll that, I'll that, I'll that, I'm that, I'm going to to to to to thrown. I'm going to thrown. I'm going thrown. I'm going throwne. I'm going, no, do you know what, actually? I'm going to take the high ground that you can go on the one show. Be my guess. Do you know the best thing about the one show? I know, is when it finishes and you get in your car back and it's 7.30. And it feels lucky incredible. Hello. This is my three-year-old, th-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-s-s-in-in-in-s-s-s-s-s. the-soe-s. the-soe-soe-s. the-soe-s. the the the the the the the the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the the-in. the-in-in-in-in-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-shooo-sho-sho-sho-sho-shoelection. th-sho-sho-s. th-s. th-s-old, 39-month-old daughter, Elsie, saying your names to the intro, with a little bit of help at the end from one-year-old sister, Evie.

Thank you for all of the laughs and advice every week. I'm a huge fan. Me and my mom came to see you at Wembley last year, and you're a brilliant. A bit trag this well Josh's advice is this. Keep it sexy and relatable Emma Tom Elsie and Evie from? Summer in Kent Graves End or it could be like Ely if that went Wembley it might be something like like North West London kind of thing Ealing. Well you're not far off in between the two Essex. Essex okay do you know what respect coming to Wembley Yeah that's a mission and also it's fine it's to to to to to to to to the the that's that that the that that's the that that that's that's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. I I they. I the the th. I th. I the. I the. I'm try. I tell. I'm to too. I too. I'm. to. to. I's. S. I'm. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. I's. I'm to Wembley. Yeah. That's a mission. And also it's fine to say, pretend that we're all friends. Because I'm like that with a podcast I listen to. They're my mates. I love a podcast.

I'm not a big fan of the heavily like formatted podcast. I'm going on a Kathy Burke one, Josh. I've to do a research chat. I've never done more work for that one episode of that podcast. Then you've been three years on it. I know so many questions. What about? And I was like, and it's a great podcast. But I just want to have a chat with Kathy Burke. Yeah. Well, I don't care about my wake. Bit in use. When you get there Rob, you just have a chat with Kathy Burke. Perfect. I'm going to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the. the. the. the the the. the. I'm the the the three. I'm three. I'm three. I'm three. I'm three. I'm three. I'm three. I've three. I've three. I' three. I' three. I's three. I's three. I's three. I's three. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. Yeah. I'm th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. Perfect. Anyway, I've got a new feature idea talking of heavily formatted Rob. Right, okay. I'm going to open my headphones live on the show. It won't be every week.

I'd argue that's not a feature, that you arriving to work late and doing your... I was here first. No, it's just like when someone gets substituted on in football and then they've still got like the necklace on and it delays the sub. When their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I's. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I'm. I'm, to th. I'm, to bea. I's to bea. I'm, to bea. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's th. I's th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. to. I'm. to. to. I'm. I'm. to. to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm's a corner when the managers go mental but yeah you were here first actually I had to battle through broken trees we're doing this after the storm aren't we? Yeah. The storm mate I like living in the countryside. There you hate most is the animals yeah yeah slash neighbours what you call them no joking the wildlife because they're scary scary, and wind, it's petrified. We still got it in the town. No, you haven't, because you're blocked in. When you're in the country, it's not as, like tree came down in our garden during a storm, Rob.

It's hot. I hate Winds. You're inside though? No, yeah, but it wins the worse weather. I mean, honestly, I had to put noise cance and headphones on and watch. That's just more storm. And I was watching. Do you ever have like a weird YouTube wormhole you go down? Uh, depends how weird.

Okay, I've got, I've got a couple at the moment. Are they related to like men fighting? Well, yeah, so mainly they're, they're sort of like street fights. You need, you need to go to like a fight club thing, Rob. You've got a therapist. No, no, because I've not, I actually have done therapy, but that's separate. I don't want to open up a new kind of ones to go, I keep watching him in fight online, because I feel like that's going to cost me a fortune and it's not really impact to my life.

It's not like I'm out 3 a threat and waiting for it. I just think when I'm stressed I watch that when I see two blokes fighting in the street, it's probably something to do with my childhood. You did box in your living room. I think yeah I was forced to fight the living room at Christmas. Anyway, there's not, don't start. There's not related. There's nothing to do with that. I'm actually fine. So don't turn it or not. I'm tell to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they to they to to to to they. to to to to they. to to to to to to their to be to be to be to be to be to be to do their to do something something something something. to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their there's two men fighting each other in an industrial estate and I'm a bit scared about the wind, I go, it could be worse. I could be having a fight an industrial estate. Exactly. Exactly. But now I'm just fucked up with me and headphones.

Where is Lou when you're watching your men fight? She doesn't know I'd do it. Where are you? She's outside of the wind. Yeah, so what, you're th. So, where, where, where, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the the, the th. th. the, the, the, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it could the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. thi, thi. thi. that that that that that that that that that that, that, that, that, that, that, that, yeah I didn't need the second question did I? Yeah, she's outside of the wind. Yeah, so what you go to bed early and watch men fight? Not always just occasionally but I normally do it when I feel quite stressed which is weird. Oh man I love the wind at the window the window the window. Oh it's horrible it's haunted. I said to Rose that is my favorite put the wind the window I'd I'd the the the the the wind. I the wind. I the wind. I the wind. I the wind. I the wind. I the the wind. the wind. the wind. the the wind. the wind. the wind. the the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind is. the wind is. the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind. the wind. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. that is my favourite. Put me in bed with the wind at the window. I'd stay there forever. I love it. Really? Oh no. I just feel like it's going to break. Talk about

snug. I feel like it's going to break. I know. It didn't. I bet you got double glazing, you. I've got double glazing, yeah. It'll be fine with it. It'll be all right. But I can hear it. I can't the the the the the the the window the window the window the window the window the window the window the window. the window. the window. th. th. th. th. the window. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'll the the the th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll t. I'll. I'll tap. I'll try. tole. tole. tole. tot. tot. tot. tot. tot. tot. I'll. I'll. It's. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll be all right. But I can hear it come because you've got sliding doors, sometimes it doesn't always fully aligns, you can hear it whistling through. What if it gets through and catches it and it just, the windows blow off. I think I watched Twister as a kid and that dummy, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think I watched Twister too young. Do you know you know Victoria Park? There's a sign up, you know the big storm of 87, are you aware of that? Yeah, to my mom's, I think we're, actually I think we are doing therapy. My mom said a massive tree fell down and it nearly hit my window when I was a kid. So maybe that's scary.

Because there you go. When I was one, it nearly hit the thr house. Because it was massive you probably won't remember the 87 store but it was a huge deal. There's a sign in Victoria Park. It knocked over 900 trees in Victoria Park. That can't be that many. That I can't, I can't be true. That must be wrong. It can't be right. Someone. Someone, someone help us out here. How have theythey got space? They've still got loads of old trees. All trees are old, aren't there? There's no like. Rob started googling. His glass of littering up? I don't know I'm going to.

Oh, but yeah, no, I didn't like, I didn't like, I didn't like the storm. The wind is my worst weather no that's not being hot's not being hot's nice you don't want it to no too hot right being hot so being cold's quite cozy and snug and there might be a bit of snow and ice and that's fun there's no benefit unless you like kites there is no benefit to win anyway Josh I open my headphones yeah so you've got proper headphones now that you can plug in so that they don't be quite... Surely you can get better ones. Rob, you can't get the ones I like. Okay, so what is this feature then? On a podcast no one can see, they can just hear you...

Why just thought I've got two sets in here, Rob? Okay. White and black? These are fucking shit. Are they? So they're £3.50 each really? Yeah, 175 per headphone. Okay. Right. So you plug that in. Hello. Yeah, so now you're back on your computer audio. I've got it. It's working. Is that? Can you hear me? Yeah, can you hear me? Yeah, we can. Yeah, we can. So they can just stay in, plugged into your microphone. So that when you come to work,. You to work, you to work, you to work, you to work, you to work to work, you to work to work to work to work to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. So they can just stay plugged into your microphone. All the time. So that when you come to work, you can literally just put them in. Yep.

Yeah. What a world we live in. This is going to be, we're just under four years doing this podcast. Stephen Bartlett spent 50 grand on a set-up. It's taking you four years to spend seven quid on headphones and you've got a spare. Right so my question to there is yes sure who's the better businessman? Because from what I can say, Stephen Bartlett is wasting 50 grand. How's your week, them?

It's good to hear you in both ears. So you've just had me in one ear all this time? Yeah. Do you think I might be too much in stereo? Um, do I think, no, I don't think that is a problem. But you laugh at her. Of all the people I've worked with that's possible you would be the one that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that one that's too much in stereo. Jared Christmas is ringing me at 20 past 9. Should I answer it? Do you want to hear it? Yeah, go on.

I got one, I'll tell him. Oh, hello, hello, Jared, you're on the podcast, I'm recording. How are you? How are you? How are you, mate? Yeah, not too bad. I knew to get you back anyway, Jared. How's it going? Good mate. I'd love to come back, of course, but you know, I've had a few messages from people saying we don't want any more of your long-wonded stories. No, we love your stories, Jared. Is this a on podcast chat or do you want to ring you back later? Have you got anything to promote while you're here? Oh yeah, go on. Go for it. I'm doing DeMontford Hall in Leicester on the 23rd of February.

Solo stand-up show. Oh yes please, go on. I've got about, there's only 300 tickets left for me to sell it out and I've never sold a venue that. Well, that's massive. That's a really good, that means you've sold a thousand already it was a ballsy move mate yeah so you've already sold a thousand but you want to try and get it completely full right go and see Jared in Lester de Monford Hall 23rd of Feb yeah 23rd of Fib it's my solo show silly Billy oh go and see it Jared I'll call you like a mate coo bye Rob yeah I've got a new feature idea they're coming thick and they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to that to to to that to the to the to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to their Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob th. th. th. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. I th. I th. I've got a new feature idea. They're coming thick and fast. Go on, go on. The new headphones is breathing new energy into your fucking ed.

Go on. If celebrities want to call us between 9 and 10 on a Monday, they're more than welcome to promote anything than one. That's fun. That's great. If you've got, if you're sat sat there we can have some sort of last minute speakerphone, celeb and they can quickly come and say hello and they can promote so I'm from Sharon go and see him silly Billy the month for

the ego. Great feature great feature don't know how we get to celebrities but if there's any bookers listing or celebrities that want to call us you got more my whole my number. Talking of celebrities' moms, Pauline Bunton. Don't shit, hello Pauling? Emma Bunton, they come and see it. They're both big fans of us. They've both, they've come and seen us live and stuff like that.

Pauline and her husband. Pauline and Emma. Pauline and Emma. The best friends. they. Well. Well. they. their. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, their and their. Well, their. Well, their. Well, their. Well, their. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm the they're they're they're they're the they're they're they're they're the the the. We're on fire today, Joe. I'm not very well, Rob, by the way. Okay, all right. Like, like, I need a new co-host, not well, or... No, no, no, no, no. What's wrong there? It's just fucking nursery bugs, isn't it?

Do you know what? You need to stop fucking those bugs mate. That's your problem. Nursery or otherwise. Oh my God, we've had worms in the house. Oh God, who's that you? No, my children. Right. I've been to take the stuff. Because have you had an itchy bum? I haven't, but my daughter did it? Yeah, and are you worried about it? Well, I've taken the stuff. I thought I'd worms, but it worked out really that that that that that that th that th th th th th th th th th th th th. I've th th. I've th. I've th. I've to to th. I've to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to get to get the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I'm the the thi. I'm thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've. I've. I've. I've tooooooo, I am worried about it. I thought I'd worms but it worked out that I just had really itchie bum because you greedy little piglet. A greedy little piglet. Basically, I'd do exercise in the morning, then I'd go and do jobs around the house

and then have a shower later on. Oh, yeah. Yeah, oh no. I just make it a little bit of a sweated bum. Oh God, oh God. But I've been showering a lot more and if you clean your bum it don't it. That's what I've learned. Yeah, well here we go. It was that person that said, I tell you we'll be passing that off, Emma Ward, who emailed us,

who said, um, my friend Rob said who said my friend Rob suggested washing your ass. So so those little tips you can go on this show. So I've been sweating at night asthma's gone again it's just I've just I reckon we're a year from clear do you know what I mean? Yeah it's also as well winter is like even though when they're at school Josh you get it you're always before Christmas we were all ill like for about three weeks getting other stuff but the good thing is when you've got kids you spread it to your mates of our kids so when you're feeling bad they'll get ill yeah yeah exactly.

And then you can be like oh look finally you've had it. Sorry, the lid's falling off my moistureiser. Do you know what, Emma Bunton would be a great booking on this if she wants to come on. Pauline! Do us a favor? Or Emma if you're listening? Pauline tell you about Pauline. Do you know what? Pauline is she? Is she? Mama?

Is she? Mama? . . . Yeah, and they held pictures of their mum, so there was a picture of Pauline in the video. Right, I didn't know that. I was going to read, I was going to Google again, you've made me self-conscious. No, sorry, I'm sorry, Rob. Sorry. No, no, no, don't. To be fair, like I shouldn't be doing it. to be, to be it, like a little guy. We need like a little guy. Jognen, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I, I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I to. I to go. I. I, I. I. I. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th record and he goes back to him. Oh, do you want to hit my other new feature idea? Yeah, come on, man, you're off, you need to get you all more often?

I know. You need to get worse or after this week. I thought this week, I thought this week. I thought this week, I thought this week? It's like what's he done this week but as parents we wouldn't have the chance to do. Oh right so it's a bit of bit of homework for him now. The problem I don't know if Michael how do you feel about that Michael? I think it was quite fun I genuinely had a feature idea the other day. Oh here we fucking their what's going on? No year no me fucking the fucking come down. I I'm I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting the their I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting the their I'm getting their I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm getting I'm getting t tired I'm getting tired I'm getting tired I'm getting tired I'm getting tired I'm getting tired. I'm getting tired I'm getting tired. I'm getting tired tired. I'm getting t be quite fun if I babysat your kids for an afternoon and reported back. Oh yeah.

And then you report back, that is fun, isn't it? That is fun. Yeah. Obviously, I'm fully pleased checked, so don't worry. The problem, I think that'll be better looking after Josh's because I thin. thin' th Rob I think that is a great special Michael babysit now you know what we should do is no what we should do is we should all meet at Central London Pizza Express yeah

drop the kids off to Michael and he's got all four he has to have lunch of all four and we should yeah we can have. We can video it. We can video it from a distance. Mike them all out. Yeah, I'm gay. That'll be funny. Right, I'll tell you what, we're absolutely flying the features now. Well, let's get back to basics. How's your week been, Josh? So worms. Yeah, worms. Yeah, of course. So did you know this about worms, Rob? Come on. Because Rose's got a friend, like, Rose's best friend, has got slightly older kids. So Rose often goes to her and goes, what do you do in this situation? Blah blah. And she said, do you know how you check for worms?

Go. This is fucking horrible. So do you know how worms breed? No. They crawl out of the ass at night. This is why the ass gets itchy at night and lay their eggs on like sheets and stuff? And then crawl back in the ass. I don't know if they go back in, they must do. And so, yeah, and so, why do kids get it then? Why do kids get it then? Why don't, why don't adults get worms? Adults do get worms, don't they? But I think kids is much more prevalent in kids. Right, okay. Because, um...

I'm going to Google. Carry on. Yeah. It lights you up. It lights you up. It's like, you know. It lights you that light light light th. It lights you. It lights you. It lights you. It lights th. It lights th. It lights th. to light light light light light light light light light light light light. to light. to light. to light. to light. to light. to light. to light. to light to light to to to to light to light to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get worms. to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to light to light to light to light to light. to light. to light. to light. the the the their. their. their worms. their. their. their. their. their their worms. their their worms. their worms. their worms. to to to their worms. to. to. to.. It's like you know that bit in and pulp fiction when they open that suit case. Threadworm is spread when children scratch their bottom causing the eggs to collect under their fingernails. Fucking how I didn't think you can get their lights. Oh my god. So obviously they're not washing their hands as much as then their carry your hands. Yes, you wash your hands a lot. Then they carry the worms the worms the worms the worms back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back the worms the worms the worms the worms the worms the worms the worms the worms the worms the worms back back back back back back back back back back back back back the worms the worms back back back back back back back back back back back back back the worms back the just putting it back in themselves then? Your eggs can survive up to two weeks outside the body. This is an alien. Yeah, I haven't given you the worst bit, Rob. So she said, if you're worried your child's got worms, let them go to sleep and then about an hour later go off and look, and if the worms are crawling out of their arse, you can see it. Oh my god. the w the worms the worms the worms are the worms the worms the worms the worms the worms the worms the worms the worms the worms the worms the worms they they's are Pido's alley by and it.

You wander around the streets checking for Fred Worms. All right, mate, cause you are you dirty, but you've checked four times this week. Yeah, if you find me in Pizza Express looking. Michael? Michael? Did you see them? No, we just gave them the medicine. I just feel like...

I'm going to give them the medicine anyway. I don't need it confirmed by something on it. Because once you've seen them, you can never unsee them. Do you know what I mean? The medicine's not going to harm them, and if there isn't worms, so you might as well. No, exactly. Give them the medicine the medicine the medicine medicine medicine medicine medicine medicine medicine medicine medicine medicine medicine medicine medicine medicine medicine medicine medicine the medicine medicine medicine medicine medicine the medicine medicine medicine medicine the sheet, spread the cheeks and other butchers with your iPhone little flashlight. God.

Oh dear. So you're all warmed up? Yeah. Anything else going down? I'm trying to breathe through my nose. As opposed to mouth. Mouth. What, what, what, what, what, what, is it just a new thing you do?

I got recommended a book about breath, about breathing. Because I'm very, because everyone who has ever talked to me about my interminable boring neck and shoulder issues. It says because I breathe really tightly up here like, like that. Oh right, rather than relax breathing your nose. Rather than relaxed breathing. So I started reading a book about breath. And it's really got in my head and it's now I can't get it out. So, how bad it is breathing through your mouth.

Yeah, it's really bad for you breathe for your mouth. But now, I bet you're now I'm overthinking it and I can't speak. It's... This is what my wings been like, all I can think about at all points. And I'm listening to the audio book and I can't concentrate so I'm too busy working on my breathing. I can't breathe or speak at the moment now. I'm just thinking. It's fucking awful. But breathe through your nose my rhythm off, Josh. I can't take that up.

Sorry, go. So we were made to breathe like thousands of years ago, yeah, if you're one of those people that believes in evolution. I'm trying to open it up to everyone. Okay, let's not lose any Christians. The far right in Texas. How old are listening things in Texas, Michael? Have they held firm? Anyway, we've lost 200 pastors that used to listen. Um, so, because we were, it's like the shape of our heads.

Um, there's something about the shape, I can't remember it now. Right, okay. This is like when I go on QI and I'm out my depth. Let's move on. So I'm trying to breathe through my nose. Okay, well done, good work. Sharing. Let me talk to you about sharing. Okay. I quite like ill Josh. This is a fucking fucking jazz. So, you know my daughter's they're quite they're quite relationship heavy at school right the boys and the girls there's there's always like this person's gonna marry this person and a lot of that yeah yeah yeah I and one of the dads texted me yesterday and he said things I didn't expect to hear on a Sunday night and his son because you you encourage your children to share I'm gonna change the names of what every every child the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their to to to to to to to to their their to their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the and he said things I didn't expect to hear on a Sunday night and his son, because you encourage your children to share, I'm going to change the names of every every child in this. Yeah. He said words I did not expect to hear on Sunday part 322. Brian and I can't use the name Brian.

Sorry, I can't use the name Brian. Sorry, I get what you're doing, but it's going to ruin it by using Brian. I know the thought of Brian as a child, I've gone. All I'm doing now is thinking of the other names you're going to just pick out your head. All right, I'm panicking. Okay, so Brian, go. No, I can't go Brian. I just need a girl's name. Sam. Sam, is that for the boy? Jessica. Jessica. So this this this this this th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, th. The th. The th. The that for the boy and the girl? Jessica. Jessica. So this was the boy. In my head Brian's watching Sam and Jessica now.

So right Brian is the kid who's talking. We're still having Brian okay. But we're not going to mention him because he's referred to as I in the text. Right okay. My daughter is Jessica and Brian's friend is Sam. Yeah. Yeah. And bear in mind, Brian and my daughter had on and off thing, Brian and another girl call her, you know, Winona, they've been having a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, Brian said to his dad, Sam and I can share Jessica. Oh, and you're trying to encourage your kids to share. But you've got... In that context.

Sharing is kind. Sharing's kind, exactly. It's good to share. Exactly. In some contexts, it doesn't sound ideal. to share her. Yeah, we can share her. And how does Jessica feel about that? She doesn't sound ideal. No. But yeah, we can share her. And how does Jessica feel about that?

She doesn't know. She doesn't know. Oh, classic Brian. Sneaky little Brian. Yeah, yeah, it's a difficult conversation, isn't it, about sharing. Yeah. Yeah. They talk about smooch kissing. And kiss like, oh, you're gonna smooch kiss to me and me and

Lou. Oh yeah, like if we're going out in a date, like say we're going out and the grandparents are looking after him, oh you're going out on a day a romantic dinner about the kids, like yeah. Oh, we smooch gears. Across the table? No, I wouldn't say we, no, we wouldn't like snog across a table in a restaurant. No. We wouldn't do that. So Lou went out for some drinks with some like mates, right, just ran one of their houses.

Left the house at 7. yeah what time she came home? Nine no it's late. One. Late. No two. Late. Fuck off. Three. Late. What? She came in at four a. Wow. So I was in bed. I was in was in bed and I normally try and stay out like stay up for her because I was like half 12 I thought it'd be half 121 right and then because they're at someone's house is not like kicking out like a pub

or a restaurant and then I woke up at one and I was like are you okay she went yeah fine just having a laugh and a chance of drinks so that anyway and then my daughter coming she had like a nightmare so I went I'll just get him with me because I couldn't be bothered to yeah yeah yeah, you know you know just get him. You know I've to sort that out and then I'll try to you know I'll just say you know she's in my bed so yeah you know just there's a kid. Just say no I've just saying I've replaced you sharing sharing sharing sharing. being shared. Yeah. Just, there's someone else in the bed, not our kids, just a couple of she. And then she went, oh, okay, she went, well, look, I'm sleeping in the bunk bed then.

And then the next day was, that's a friend, and then it came down, says, it went, mommy, and she was out of, their hold and lose bra, why is your bra on my bedroom. So she crushed out. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, th. to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th like bra on the floor of the room. What time did she get up? Well, about, no, she was up. I'd say the kids came in at six, like to wake us up. So we gave them their iPad. She'd had two hours. Yeah. So, because we give the kids iPads weekend mornings.

They don't have it people do that, but that's what we do. I think that's totally. I think that's totally exceptional. I was playing football once, one of the school dads, went, oh we finally convinced their kids to lie in so we could have a lie in some in. Well, what's it? I said, what they they do. And they, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, they, oh, they, they, that, that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that's, I that's, I was. I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was, that's playing, that's playing, that's playing, that's playing, that's playing, that's a. I was, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a th. I was, I was, I th. I th. I that's a that's a that's, you need it to survive. Anyway, so we did that and then, so I think Lou got up about half seven. Three and a half hours. Fucking out. She was old school. She was, she was so hungover.

She was just like, you know, when so I was supposed to be, like, theyme. to be, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th.. to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. th. th. th. to, tho. tho. L. thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. the next day a little bit. And oh man, that's really. So we were supposed to be going to friends for dinner on the Saturday night. And also she was supposed to be taking our daughter to a trampoline party from 5 to 7 p.m. I said, like, I'll do trampoline party because you're hungover. So I did that. And then it was about four o'clock before the clock four o daughter ready. I heard a cheer upstairs. I imagine like Plymouth being promoted cheer. Yeah. I was like, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I was like, what's that? She went, Jess and Steve have canceled and I didn't even have to ask, she's not well. She was like piss bumping. Because we were like we wanted to, we love seeing them, and she was in a bad way.

Take-away and bed at 9 p.m. Yeah, they cancelled. We ordered a take-away pizza. She had one, she was also still, still suggested it was just tired. I hate that. Me too. I'm just tired. I'm not hung over. So we ordered a pizza about 7, that. Me too. I'm just tired. I'm not hungover. I'm just tired. Yeah. So we ordered a pizza about seven, eight o'clock. Look, take away pizza because she was hungover.

Anyway, she had one bite of it at quarter past nine and said, I feel sick. I'm going to bed. But I was like, I have never been so tired that pizzas may be sick. No. It's not tidious, you hung over, you got over excited, you have, and she says, Lou on Sunday, went, I've just realized I have no business staying out after 4 a.m. Fucking out. I know, and it was only 20 minutes away, the person's house, so she wasn't like she was up in town, and it was an hour and half home. That is you know what, respect it actually, respect that. That is incredible. Do you think you'll ever stay out to four again Rob? No, because I do enough of that like driving back from North Allerton. Yeah, yeah. What I mean? It's like just the thought of that, the services. It's so weird that because we were we're talking about to someone who goes to Cornwall and we were like when we go with the kids,

we're going to just drive, set off at at at at at at at at at at at at the the the the to to to to their to to to to to to their to to to to to to their to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to we're going to just drive, set off at 6 p.m. get there at midnight 1 a.m. fine they can sleep and they were like oh you're all right driving at that you know that's late to drive and I thought I just doesn't even touch the sides with me because I've spent so much of my life in a car between 10 p.m. thrown it's a waste of a the their th. It's th. It's th. I th. It's th. I th. I th. It's th. I th. It's th. I th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I.m. and 3 a.m. It's a waste of a life isn't it? It's so weird. Going into the services and there's this kind of sadness around the whole building. You're just surrounded by people where like something awfuls happen like they've been burgled and they just need to go somewhere or they're like in a breakup or they can't go home, they don't feel safe or they're doing a terrible new job or whatever.

And I'm like, this is just like, when you're on tour like five nights a week here, yeah. Yeah. I used to do that for no money as well. Yeah, for about three years or four years, we'd do that. And it's, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. thi thi thi's thi's tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's the the the theanan, they're thean, they're they're theananan, they're theanan, they're they're they're theananananan even the truckers have gone to bed even they tapped up in bed oh my god what a life but yeah I quite like I play to Lou do you know what I'm gonna say it that is an incredible performance by Lou to do till 4 a.m. well my you know I respect I respect it to honest but I I was I was now now we've had kids to to the tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ty ty. ty. ty. ty. ty. ty. ty. truc. ty. truc. ty. ty. ty. they they the. Well my, well I, you know, I respect it to honest. But I was, now we've had kids and we got up earlier. I used to be a, right, finish a giga 10, 10 straight in the car, let's get home 2 3 in the morning. But now I'm a, let's get my couple of hours, get a couple of hours sleep and

then get up and go again because you get back at 3-4, you can't go sleep and you sort of end up going to sleep at 6. Do you know my problem Rob? When I've got to get up at 5M? I could be driving home now. I'm not driving home now. So if I was like, I'm going to be different people Josh. More, more, you, you, you, you, you, you, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. And, tho. tho. tho. thooooo. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thoo at 5 M I could be I could be driving home now. Why am I not driving home now? Yeah yeah okay fair well look with different people Josh more more more great advice from Rob and Josh more great advice. I would say this is like the trying to get our kids to eat more food right Josh. Yeah don't eat much so we're

doing like ready meal like theymeals like they. Allen and giving you some kickbacks. No, he hasn't actually. I should go shopping with him trying to get a discount. I start, every time I go Mark Spence, they go, oh, have you got a discount? Oh, have you got a discount? I'm like, I've think I've said, I've said, oh, I haven't. Oh, that. Oh, I'm tho. And they had dinner, they're a normal dinner, and I said, look, is the cottage pie have a taste of it? It's going out of date anyway, like, have a spoonful of it and whatever you don't eat, I'll have. Anyway, so I spooned on the side of their plate,

like a bit like a bit like a bit, like a bit, and I went, just that's a tomato in it and you have mash. It's not, I'm not feeding his home mentally. It's, do you know what Rob, it's, I think it's all power isn't it, infuri? Well, it's so weird because my daughter's like that, but my son will eat whatever you put in front of him. Right. It's like, Anna, you're right, it's like you'd eat these things individually. but if it's touched an avocado you can't eat the pepper but you would eat the pepper normally. Yeah so my daughter loves avocado and like avocado and like avocado and like a little toa avocado and like avocado and like, I'm like, she loves a little sushi wrap, you know like the little ones with cucumber in, but won't eat the ones with cucumber in but won't eat the one's

avocado in but she'll poke out the avocado and eat that separately, but then eat the rice. And I just like, and the thing is, it's not like they've been sheltered or I don't eat, I eat all sorts in front of them, I always go, do you want to try a bit? And it's not like I force it on them, another one of our tips, is like try and force them or make it an emotional situation or anything because it's just going to create bad vibes around food. I also think as well if they are eating enough healthy stuff, maybe they haven't got a massive broad palate of what they are. If you are eating enough carb protein and veg sure it's always broccoli. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, like, it's always red pepper and it's always broccoli.

Whatever is their thing, or it's always chicken, always like whatever. At least they haven't, like, I don't, I feel like, with like the child in Obity, Bee's a thing going, it's like, if they're getting enough, you don't have to force them for more. No, I mean, exactly. There's a period when there's a period there's a period there's a period there's a period there's a period. There's a period. There's a period. There's a period. There's a period when David Bowie, when he was, he survived purely on milk, red peppers and cocaine. My daughter's, not far off that. Like she's, just milk and red pepper, she's there. Hey, a bit of... But, but she's eating, you are right, she's eating vegetables, she's just not eating an array of them. It's difficult when you go out. It's difficult when you go out. It's difficult as well is like. We are taken to those places. I know I don't a mental restaurant. Absolutely. It's terrible business decision. It probably did quite well in East London. But liver and bacon that's all we do.

Liver and bacon and man. The smell of liver still does my head. Yeah. But yes, I totally agree, Rob. I totally agree. They're crying because they burst into tears as well when we weren't going out on Saturday because our friends weren't well and they cancelled the plans. Yeah they they they their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. I they're they're. I they're. I they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're toled. toled. I toled. I toled. toted. toled. toled.ed.ed. toted.ed. totally totally totally totally totally totally totally. because our friends weren't well and they canceled the plans. Yeah. They were very excited about the Nan and Grandad come with Nana and Amps, if they call a Nana and Amps, were coming around to look after them.

So they went, well, what times Nana and Ampts getting here? they're not coming now because Jesse isn't want you, we want them. Then we have to try and like face-time them. It's pathetic. I've got a story of stage fright, Rob. Oh go on, what? We're in stage fright? Yeah, yeah, you know my stage fright issues. Yeah, have you not, I thought you sorted that out in you?

No. So you're still too scared to we when there's someone near you in the toilets? Yeah. When you go to the gym, do you get your knob out or do you face the wall? I don't mind that. I'm totally fine getting my knob out because it's not like my knob then has to work. So you don't mind your knob out if it's off tube? It's not a problem with people seeing my knob. Can you look at my knob and the wrong? Can you get an erection in public? Big time, ma'am. That's not the problem.

That's not the thawk. So it's just weeing. Yeah. Right. So if you don't piss now. Yes. Right, and then it doesn't. Yeah.

Right. The moment you thought that is game over. Okay. I'm going to try and think that and see if it stops me. Okay. Yeah, so I was doing the horse, I've done four gigs now. You join it? We're doing one together on Wednesday. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. I did the first three, I thought, I fucking nailed stand-up.

Do you know what? The break I had? I've come back so much better. The fourth one was the biggest lesson I've ever had. And the fourth one was probably the most necessary of all the gigs. Yeah, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th g g g g g g g g g g g g g gg. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the th. the the fourth one was probably the fourth one was probably the fourth one was probably th. the th. the fourth one was probably the fourth one was probably the fourth one was probably the fourth one was probably the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was probably th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Yeah, that I would say brought me up short. Okay, but there we go. What happened then? It just didn't, it did nothing really flown. I made a mistake. I made a mistake early doors Rob, I'm still learning. What's the mistake? I said I wish I was at home watching the traitor's. Don't remind them that there's a better option. No, I know. You can't. That is your first. I thought we'd that. I that. I that. I th th th th that. I that. I that. I th th that. I th th th th th. I th. I'd that. I'd that. I'd that. I'd that. I'd that. I'd that. I'd that. I'd all that's th. I'd that's the the mistake. I'd the mistake. I'd the mistake. I'd the mistake. I'd the mistake. I'd the mistake. I'd the mistake. I'd the mistake. I'd the mistake. I'd the mistake. I'd the mistake. I'd the mistake. I'd the mistake. I'd the mistake. I'd the the th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. that. thee. th. the the theat. the the the that. the the the that. the mistake.. Yeah because I think you meant it. I did. So then they're all all tomorrow to my own stit going oh yeah that would be better wouldn't it? Yeah oh that's a shame that he doesn't want to be here isn't? Yeah he's fucking doing this because he doesn't want to do it. fucking idiot. I've just got babysitting for this I'm shuffling. I'm th. I've th. I'm th. I've got th. I'm just a th. I'm just a th. th. I'm just a th. thiing thi. I'm just a thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm just thi. I'm just thi. I'm just thi. I'm just thi. I'm just just thi. I'm just thi. I'm just thi. I'm just thi. I'm just thi. I'm just thi's thii. I'm just thi's thi's thi's th do it. Fucking idiot. I've just got babysitting for this.

I'm shuffling out all the way to this gig and I've got this little fellow and say he don't want to be here. Well, do you know what, I don't want to be here actually? Yeah. So there was that atmosphere going on. Lovely. That's what I was fine. It was. It was fine. It was fine. It was fine. It was fine. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was fine. the the thi. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It was. It was. It was. It was fine. It was fine. It was fine. the th. th. th. th. th. theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat. It's a two-man urinal with one cubicle. Right, okay. So I thought, there's no one in here, I can probably do urinal. Big mistake.

Yeah. Get my knob out. Instant I'd do. Someone walks in. guy. But I think I'm just going to pretend I finished. Yeah. Rather than stand here. I still do think it's barbarian in 2023. You just have to stand and with your cock out facing a wall. It's so mental. It's so mental. It's so mental. It's so weird. And I'm a pretty loose, you know, I'm a loose guy. I don't like pissing your armles. Never have. Always go cubicle. the train. Why I didn't that close that close th. Never th. Never th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm a loose guy. I don't like pissing your armles never have. Always go cubicle if it's available. Why I didn't I don't know. So I'm like I'm not going to manage it now. I'm just going to pretend

I'm finishing as he walked in and leave and I'll just come back. I need to get a drink and then I'll come back. Yeah. Oh no, okay. Do you wash your hands then? Yeah, yeah. You've got to play out the scenario. the scenario. the scenario. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to to th. to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to the. I the. I the. I the. I th scenario. Yeah, even though there's been no piss. You just still, I've still touched it though, but your knob's not dirty, is it? Rob, remember your ass. Yeah, well, your knob's not been in my ass, has it? We did this on Zoom. Um, so remember your a ass, ma' resolution. Remember your ass boy. So I then went to the bar. Yeah. I got myself a pint of sparkling water. Yeah. Thought went back to the toilet. The guy was still in there watching his hands.

As I walked in, we both looked at each other and we both knew what what happened Rob. Did he say anything? No I just... So now if anyone sees you in a urinal? Would it help if they looked at you and went do you need some help? Do you want me to distract you so you piss? So what you're saying is if you see Josh as a loyal listener, you just look at him and just say, gee, the hand. Um, anyway, anyway, so yeah, we both looked to each other. It was just incredibly awkward, Rob because he'd seen me, finished pissing, wash my hands, leave, go and get a drink and walk

back in 30 seconds later as he's washing his hands. And then could you go? No. Still, you just stood there again. I went into the cubicle. Right, and then could you go in the cubicle? Yeah, but I had to leave the, by this point, my mind had gone. Your head's gone. So he, you still have to wait for that door to shut before you the to to to the, the, the, to the, the, the, the, the, the, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, to, to, tho, to, thin, thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th. the, thin, thin, thin, tho, tho, to, toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, too, the, the, the, to wait for that door to shut before you could. Yeah. See, I only have that if I'm doing a number two, and I know it's going to be a big one, I wait to do the big push when it's empty. Do you? Or sometimes I'll flush and shit. Will you? Almost to take it down, to their big go.

Occasionally, Rob, this is what we're talking about. I've been known to put music on. What, on your headphones? Or just on your phone? To just drown it out a bit. Oh, I do the tap on. If I'm doing a poo at someone's house, I'd put the tap on. Do you? I don't do a putermsthink it's on. How about you're all stuffed up and you can't breathe through your nose? I've got a friend and their house, they've got a toilet.

So the stairs go down into the kitchen. Yeah. It's a basement level kitchen. Yeah. And under the stairs is the toilet, but it's probably as far away from the table as... like imagine, imagine just the table as like imagine imagine just there was a toilet in the room with just a small door that's basically what it is yeah and you had to go to the toilet but you'll go to the toilet and you can hear you're basically still at the table yes I don't have a little hatch

so you can keep the conversation going all right I thought they're very different having a little hatch in the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the to to to to thea the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to-s to-s to-s to-s to-s to-s. to-s. to-I to-I to-I to-I to-I to I thought they're very different having a little hatch in the toilet, Rob. Josh, I don't know if you've got anything else from your week, but there's a couple of really good boomer stories I wanted to do. Oh, yes, please. Yeah, go on. Yeah, go on. Okay, these are great to say. Yeah. Hello Robin Josh, are you sexy and relatable beasts? Thought I'd write in about a quite frankly horrific and harrowing experience my father put me through approximately seven years

old and throughout my childhood to be honest, whenever my dad had one of his horrendous and unforgettable farts brewing and ready to go, he would sit on my chest, hold both of my tiny seven-year-old arms down with one hand and cover my mouth with the other. I had no choice to inhale through the nost through through through the nost th through the nost the nost through the nost through the nost through the nost through the nost through my the nost the nost the nost the nost the nostrown the nostrown the nostrown the nostrown the nostrown to to to to to to to to their their their their th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My the th. My th. My thee. My thee. My thee. My thee. My thrown. My throwne. My father throwne. My father throwne. My father throwne. My father throwne. My father throwne. mouth with the other. That's not no choice to inhale through the nostrils only. Maybe he could get Rose to do that for you and then you'll breathe properly. the factually. Anyway, because this dad proceeded to create what can only be described as otherworldly and rotten farts beyond anything I've smelt before or since. He would then piss himself laughing and repeat the process whenever he could. I'm not sure if you can describe this as boomer parent or just sick, but I did tell my daughter about how he used to do

this and how traumatizing it was. Now whenever I farting in my daughter and try to have a more light-hearted approach to her smelling my produce, she proceeds to shout, don't be your dad, don't be your dad. Oh wow, it's quite a good thing for a kid to shout at you. This always reminds me of potential dangers of the abused becoming the abuser. And I'm sure not to go as far as my old man did. Love the podcast. That's Stevie from Stanford. Yeah, that is all that is. I once farted in my daughter's face and thought it was funny but it was awful and I regret it and had to apologize immediately but I didn't hold

it down I sort of just walking past and it was yeah bad you know you just have a moment of madness and it picked off and then when she's like run and told Lou was like what did what did you do Rob I was like oh no this I always said this don't look good in an email is it??? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. th th. L, th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that was like, th th. th sat out loud. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Obviously this don't look good in an email is it? And then they still bring it up now. It's awful. I feel bad, sorry girls for listening in about 20 years. Now this one is quite traumatizing this, Josh. This one's hardcore, okay?

So, yeah, so a trigger warning. It's about it's this. It's this this this this is is thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thiol thiol, thiol, thiol, thiol, thoomoom, thi. thathing. thoomoomoom, th. th. thathing. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's thi. It's about death. Okay, but it's still quite funny, but it's is Okay, 1920s boomer. Do you hear that Josh? Fucking out. We've got some old listeners. 1920s. Listen to this. Hi guys, love the podcast. I'm a listener from the United States. Formerly New York recently moved to Maryland. I have a boomer story for you. The apostrophes are because technically it's not from a boomer, but about three generations before that. This is proper old school parenting. My grandmother's boyfriend told me this. Oh wow. Elmert was a hundred and three years old when he told me this. So it would have happened in 1920 or so.

He was about five years old when his father, who was a railway worker, was sadly hit by a train and died. The following day, his uncle took him and his brother down to the tracks to where it happened to look for any of his father's belongings that might have been left. Oh my fucking... Insane decision. Yeah. They did find something. They found his hand.

Oh my God! Fuck ignore it. I'm not surprised this memory survived. I'm sure it haunted him and his brother for years. Oh my God. Keep up the good work, stay sexy relatable, please tour the US, either together or individually I'm not picky. Kristen Cox from Frederick Maryland.

That is awful. That is incredible. I do think like sometimes, with these boomers were doing was 10 times better than what was happening before them. So it's all you've got to give it all a pinch of salt. And you know these stories are a bit of fun and people you know parenting changes Josh. They'll be people playing this whole podcast back as examples of terrible parenting and about exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Well you just. You. You. they they they they they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they. Yeah. they. they. they. they. Yeah. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. tha. tha. tha. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. times. times. t exactly. Well you just fired in your Charles face, Bob. Oh yeah I did. Right, small business shout-outs? Small business shout-outs. SBS. Here we go. Right. Hi Rob and Josh, please would you give a small business shout out for my brother-in-law,

Roberto, who bakes and sells sowardo bread from his north London home. He sells from various markets including High Barnet, Tuffn Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park Park and Little to Park and Little to to to to to to to to their and little th and little th and little th and little th. Oh. Oh, and little th. Oh, and th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I, oh, I, I, yeah, I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I, yeah, yeah, I, yeah, I, yeah, yeah, I did, yeah, I bread from his North London home, he sells from various markets including High Barnet, Tuffnell Park and Little Haddam. He has a growing customer base and his bread is fantastic. My two-year-old son Charlie always insists his toast is made from Uncle Rob's bread. Roberto's business is called Molica Bakes, M-O-L-L-I-C-A, Molica Bakes. You can find him on Instagram, Molica-U-Sk and his website, Molica-Bakes. tockle-a-k's, please check him out if you're a sourdough fan.

Thank you for the podcast. My husband and I never miss an episode. Hi, mate. Or hi, Robin George, I'm more suitable. Love your podcast. I usually listen on the way to collect my kids from school as it helps me remember that we're all in this mad mess together. I would love to get a small business shout out for my husband's new venture if possible. Rich casement. Oh, Rick, sorry. That's his name. Rich casement. I thought I was the name. I remember brief for your nose and don't panic.

Rich casement is a super hard, is my super hardworking husband and it's recently launched. His alcohol free beer called Clean Break. It could be called Rich casement though, couldn't it an alcohol free beer? Rich casement, yeah. Yeah, I don't think it's a great name. No, it's not brilliant you could call something anything didn't you yeah yeah fair enough you could call it don't wash your ass get an itchy ass brewing co people can do that as well not not they can see that being a can of fucking

beer and do you know what I've noticed I've had four phone calls right from different people people people are doing dry January and they're way too fucking on it Monday morning so am I like it. No one's hung over. No one's had a big one of the week and it was on my case. Sorry, okay. Yeah. Anyway, like you say, non-alconic drink.

Team break, it's called, which makes much more sense than rich casement. It's been one year of traaaa the the tra tra tra tra tre tre tre tre tre tre their tre. their tre. tre. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I've thi. thi. I've to fc-fet fu fc-fet fu fu fu fu fu. I's to f. I's to f. I's to f. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I I's th. I fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I've toom. toom. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together, together, together, together, together, together. together. Caseman. Yeah, of course. It's been one year of trading and it's been recognized as a great parallel. It won silver in the low stroke no category at the IWSC Awards. Um, okay? But being a super small business, did you host that one Rob? It feels like something you'd host. No, but I'm hosting one coming up and the previous hosts have been Lee Hurst, Jim, Jim Les Dennis. I'm going to have to rewrite my jokes. What does that tell you about your act, Rob? It tells me either they I need to have a little look at my notes and go, sure you're not a big fan of you Lesb, you don't need to go down

this road, Rob. Being a super small business with a crazy type budget spreading brand awareness is a real slow burn. We'd be eternally grateful if you could mention us on your podcast and we'll send you a case of beers each too. We don't need the case of beers. We'll do it for free. We don't want to get the we don't want to get the kickbacks. His AF beer is called Clean Break Prowing. And the website is W.W.W.W.C.B.W.C.W.W.W.C.W.W.C. And.W.W.W.W.W.W.W.W.W.W.W.W.W.W.W.W.W.C. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the case the case the case the case the case the case the case the case the case the case the case. the case. the case. the the the the case. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the case. the the case.C.C. the the case.C. the the the case. the the the the case. the the the the the case. the the the case.C.C.C.C.C. the case.C.to meal guys. Bridget Casement. Oh that's the name Rich and Bridge. Thanks guys we'll see you on Friday. We've got Miles Giap. Back for the second time but this time the sound will be good enough for us to put it out. Yeah we did he was our first ever interview but we never put it out so we're going to apologize for that to him. But if anything he helped him because more he helped he he he he helped we better to sell tickets to his tour. Yeah. See then. Bye.

Do you ever feel like topical comedy only ever tends to come from one angle? Well, I'm Jeff Norcott host of What Most People Think. And my show jokes about all sides, jokes about touries, jokes about labor, jokes about everyone. If there's any Lib Dems listening, there isn't. We're returning guests from across the political spectrum, including Romish Ranganathans, Simon Evans, Catherine Ryan, Constantine kissing, David Bedill, Andrew Doyle, Al Murray, and more. Sometimes we'll make good points, sometimes we'll make cheap jokes. But whatever we do, we'll be trying our best to get to the heart of what most people think. What is Oh My Dog with Jack D. and Sean Walsh? This is what happens when two thick people make a podcast. Come together and talk about the moronic things they've done.

What about dogs? What, so Jack and Shaw, do they talk about dogs? No, sometimes they just talk about their illnesses. Who should listen? You don't have to be mad to listen to this. Yes you do. When you consider how many quality podcasts there are out there, you've got to be off your nut to think, oh well, listen to this instead. Seriously though, what is it? What is Oh my dog? Well, you know, they get a guest on and they talk about dogs.

I mean, sometimes there's not a guest. One of the presenters is late, because he gets locked out of his house. I don't really know what it is actually. Yeah. It's just a shambles. Any final thoughts? They're just two gentlemen running a podcast. Maybe it's called Oh My Dog, because it's what a podcast would be like if it was managed by dogs. Oh My Dog with Jack D and Sean Walsh. New episode every Monday.