Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S9 EP22: Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell... Volume 15

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

As we take a very short break for the autumn half term - here’s a selection of some of our favourite chats about (mostly) parenting misadventures with previous guests…  Episode Playlist: S7 EP32: Kevin Bridges S7 EP34: Scarlett Moffatt S5 EP30: Simon Gregson S7 EP26: James and Clair Buckley S6 EP24: Fin Taylor If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday.  Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.

And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with advice and of course tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Metrolinx and Crosslinx are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Cross Town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert as trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe.

This episode is brought to you by RBC Student Banking. Be aware and stay safe. Only at RBC. Visit rbc.com slash get 100, give 100. Conditions apply. Ends January 31, 2025. Complete offer eligibility criteria by March 31, 2025. Choose one of five eligible charities, up to $500,000 in total contributions. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Whitacombe. And you're listening to Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell.

Kevin Bridges, we are honored to have you on the show. An old friend, colleague, you don't do much. What's going on, Kevin? We've managed to get you. You've done me a favour, man. Remember all the two of you signed a book for my wife's birthday? Oh, yes! She's a massive fan. I should actually say hello. I should say a wee shout out to Hayley.

Big up, Hayley. I think it should be reciprocated, but I don't mean I'm doing you guys a favour coming on. No, I'll be honest with you, you really are. Yeah. I've seen everybody's got a podcast, don't they? Well, yeah. I think I'm maybe the only comedian

that's not got a podcast. You and Limey should do one. Everyone in Scotland would listen if you and Limey did a podcast. Aye, that's highly inflammatory content, I would say. Yeah, that's highly cancelable. He can invent it online. Comma du Roi, didn't online comedy so he's got that in his favour but no I never thought I'd be doing except in a gig at 8 in the morning. This is mental, it's 8am. This is what time it is we should get that across. Yeah it's 8am and we started late because my laptop had no charge. Yeah.

Because I come back from holiday and I've been working Josh, you had something wrong with the nursery or something? Let's not let it bleed into the interview, Rob. Let's not let... Let's keep it upbeat. It's 8am. My reason for being late, I was like, I don't know, both of you got dogs? Yes, I've got two dogs now, yeah. I've been 10 years in the dog game. And this is the time of the year that when your dog does a shite, a shit

or whatever you want to call it in the morning in early November in the autumnal foliage it was really difficult to locate it so I was like about five minutes I seen her squat and I never seen her and I was like where is it man she's just trying to find that shit in all these leaves so that was my excuse for being sick. That was why you was a bit like I mean do, do you know what? It makes you really appreciate a dog shit in summer. Does it? You can just sit on that green grass like a beacon of hope. Yeah, that's the shit.

Get it in the bin, let's crack on. That's how I managed to locate it. It's not quite cold enough yet to see the steam. Yeah. December, January, it's easy to find. Yeah. This is easily the most difficult month to locate a dog shit is November. Especially after it's been stormy and windy down south.

So when the leaves are everywhere, you've got no chance of finding a shit. They should actually mention us under the weather shouldn't they? Yeah, it's... LAUGHS Man, just tell you the pollen count and the humidity. LAUGHS So how many weeks have you got where it's bad dog shit weather? Speaking as someone who's not in the dog game.

Pretty much as soon as the clocks change, I would say, man. Right, okay, yeah. You've got a proper dog though. You've got like a Labrador type dog. Yeah, I've got Whippets. They're proper dogs, but they hate going outside when it's cold and wet and rainy.

So they'll do everything they can to hide a shit somewhere in the house. Do you need to put a jacket on them? Like a coat? Well, yeah, I know, but if you open the door for them to go, they will try and get rid of it early doors before they go. They don't want to be outside at all. With jacket, no jacket. So that's the danger of it. But yeah, they've done a shit outside today, which is good. So that's one pro. Let's focus on children, Rob. Let's focus on children. Sean Walsh and Jack Deedoo dogs.

Well, that's first thing I noticed when my son Liam was born is how much your morning is shit, isn't it? You've got a couple and a half You've got the time. You've got a couple of napkins during the night and then you've got, by the time half seven in the morning comes, you've probably dealt with like four shits. None of them belong to yourself. That can be the segue into the kids in a shit segue. How old's your son, Kev?

He is two, just turned two. It's quite good you can just say two because I'm getting fed up. That was a difficult, having to say months. Consolidate these problems in your head. You've got the year, then you've got 18 months, but it's in between, but oh, he's 19 months. So I'm quite good, we're just now a round number.

So you could probably hear him. This is his room, I should mention. I didn't know if it was a kid's room or if he was a Hindu. There's elephants everywhere. It's getting changed, because this is his baby theme so we're going to get it kind of put into him, our young Thor Lord theme. I'm in his room so I actually get cut into this wee section. This was originally my office kind of room and then I've just been put in this wee corner.

So basically he might rampage around at some point and interrupt this. Yeah, I'm in the corner of the house. You sort of get pushed to the side once the kid comes along. Everywhere that was your area slowly slips away. So is this your office now? This is my office. I never thought I'd be a guy who had an office because he even says, daddy office, daddy office.

I don't know if he'd call it an office. No, I'd call it your child's bedroom. I'd say it's his now. I kind of ceded the land to him. Because in my head, obviously, I mean, we were talking before we started that we all slightly feel like we're old now because it doesn't feel that long ago that you were you weren't 17 on Macintyre's Roadshow. How old were you when you did Macintyre's Roadshow?

That was 2009, 22. 20,000. Yeah. So you broke through because you were the same age. I think Josh, you're a couple of years older, but you're 37, 22. 20,000 and 90. Yeah, so you broke through, because we're the same age. I think Josh, you're a couple of years older. But you're 37, 38, Kev, is that right? I'm 37 this month. We're the same age. I remember starting comedy

at like 23 or something like that. And you were already like on MacIntyre's Roadshow and doing all this stuff. And I was just thinking, how is he dealing with all this at that age? Because I was struggling to do like five minutes open spots in pubs and you were like your rise was massive. I don't know if I could have handled that if it was to happen right now because you

overthink it. I think when you're that young you're just enjoying it. Yeah. The pressure side doesn't quite take over doing live at the Apollo but you're not really thinking about it as like a big thing. Obviously at that age you're just kind of going this is amazing. you're living the dream almost. And then I think if it was to happen right now, I'd be like, oh my God, there's TV execs coming to watch the show tonight

and you would start kind of- Panicking about it. I'm grateful that I've done it at that time, but it is 20 years I've done standard. Bloody hell. February, next year will be my comedy birthday. It feels mad saying that on stage. 20 years.

You've been doing comedy longer than you've not been doing it. Yeah, that's it. I started just turning 17. Like a kid, like a baby. And it's only when you have kids, you're sort of like, it's only 15 years away from Liam.

He's such a baby at 17. The proper kid still, at the time you feel grown up, but you were a baby. Didn't your parents used to drive you to and from the gigs and stuff like that? My dad took me up to my first gig, first to open spot. And then it just became me and his kind of thing.

He would drive me all over Scotland playing these pubs and I would just be trying to get as many gigs as possible. And then there would be some kind of nicer places we would go. We'd be kind of east of the towns and my dad would go, oh, I should bring your mum, she'd love it here. Then she'd come. Then my mum would go, oh, the next time you should bring your uncle, George and Auntie Maureen and it'd come and then my mom would go, the next time you should bring your uncle George and auntie Maureen and it'd be like, geez, how many people am I taking here? But the gigs are like at the start, like there's kind of single figure audiences

and then you've brought fucking half the audience yourself and then you're performing to your auntie and your uncle and then a lot of your material when you're 17 is about the very master buttery. So you're having to. I've never heard it called that before. You're so rigid and scripted that you don't know how to drop your wanking bit. You know your auntie and your mum are in the front row and so it was all that kind of learning

process. Is that why you had such a good one on Comedy Roadshow? It was just all your family, the whole audience. It was just pure bridges. When did you start? Just because we... I started 2008. By second till you done a lot of the supports. It was just pure bridges. When did you start? Just cause we... I started 2008. By second till you done a lot of the supports. Yeah, God, that was years ago. That's when you was probably would have gone for a drink after the gig.

Yes. Now have you found your lifestyle has completely changed in the last two years? I had a gig last night, my mate, got a new material night in Glasgow. So I popped up to that. Then after the gig, as soon as I came on stage, I was like, I'm staying for a pint. I was like, you fucking nuts.

Straight back in the day, obviously, you'd be staying for a bit. That's the thing with you need to kind of readjust your whole, is it your circadian clock or whatever? Yeah, yeah, yeah. School and then a bullshit college course and then stand up. It's the most nocturnal of lifestyles. Yeah. I've known as late nights and having your dinner at one in the morning and suddenly you're up.

It's pretty military. I know it's like five, six in the morning or whatever, but my wife, I mean, she does a lot. I should obviously credit you like we should. Can I just take, this is from nursery. I've just got a call from nursery. Can I take, I know that's bad. I'm so sorry.

Yeah, no, you can take it. That's the beauty about this podcast is the perfect one. If you just have to run off and take a call about your kid's childcare. I think it'd be bad if they just ignored it on the podcast. I've got a call from nursery, but I'm doing a podcast. I think that was the first one. Well, he's trying to get the kid into nursery. I imagine if his kid was in nursery and they rung, he'd swerve it and let them have him for another hour. Sorry, I thought that was what was happening. I think the babysitter is ill, can't turn up, so he's trying to get his boy into nursery for the day. Because that's the thing though, your world,

when they go to nursery and school, is he in nursery yet, Liam? He's just started going twice a week, he was going on a Friday. Yes! Got him into nursery. He's saying that as if it's Harvard or something. He's been accepted into nursery, yes. He's got the grades. He's got the grades. He's managed to build a wooden train set.

Good stuff. Sorry, Kev. I'm so sorry that's the most unprofessional thing I've ever done. We were just saying about being unprofessional as a parent, if you just ignored the nursery call, then everyone knew it was just to get put in the nursery call, I never knew it was that. Just to get put in the nursery, I thought it was actually your nursery calling about something that was up with the kid or whatever.

So, Liam's in twice a week now. How was that dropping him off? Was he all right with it? Initially. See, I used to like chase... I vaguely remember this, right? When I went to nursery, my mum said I used to like hate it. Like I would look proper, had meltdowns every single morning. And I kind of carried that on

into the first few years at school. So when I first took him, Liam is the only child. My brother has not got any kids and Kerry's the only child. So he's, Liam's the only child and the only grandchild. So he's not gonna be surrounded by any kids growing up really. So we thought we better put him into a nursery at least once. When he turned

one we put him in once a week. And I was kind of nervous about taking him because I was like what if he was just another me to be. He was only one. And I went to nursery when I was like three or something. We just went right in, absolutely no problem at all. And then the next few times he gets a bit upset. I think if we take him away somewhere, if I'm going down to London and we take him or we go on holiday and he misses a few weeks, then he can get back.

Are you taking him to gigs and stuff? Cause you've just finished a sort of massive UK tour, haven't you? Cause you've done your tour in the UK and you filmed it and you're going off to Australia next week, but you released it in the cinema. We should mention this as well. This is mad.

Your tour is going in cinemas in the UK and Ireland is that right? I saw I finished the UK tour and then I was going to just leave it based on a bit of family stuff happened at the start of the year so we never got to finish the dates but I just thought we'll get back we'll get it recorded yeah and then I thought every other tour that I've done I've took it to some European cities and I've done Australia and I thought it'd be a shame just to miss it and going to perform with people over there because you build up a following in these places and you don't want to just skip an entire tour. So I actually fly out to New Zealand in the morning so I'm not going to take Liam there because I think that would just be a bit much man. Yeah it's a brutal schedule when you're over there

it's amazing but for kids it's not ideal at all. Every day's a flight. I know. But I don't want to be away for too long from him and Kerry, so I've just pretty much got a gig every night. But I think next time when I go over I would space it a lot more and take them. He's not even going to remember it, like he's not going to get much out of it. It would just be selfish for me to take him, but it's not even the flight, it's having to go forward about 12 hours. Yeah. But also when you're there though,

everywhere's a two hour flight, it's like going to Spain every day. Yeah, it's a continent, isn't it? So it's not just the same. So I've been taking him away to see some of the new, you do a work in progress tour before the big tour, because the hotels are always cool, they're always in farms or whatever.

So I took him to a couple of them last summer, and he loved it. I think it would just be a bit much to take him that far. And obviously it's different when you go away because you've, I know you've got the gigs at night, but you're still, you're not quite yourself. You're a bit on edge the whole day. I totally agree. So I'm due to do Australia again 2025 and the kids will be like, you know, nine and seven. And so it's a nice age to take them. But the way we're doing is I'm going to go out and hammer like two weeks of gigs, gigging every night, and then they're going to come out and we'll sort of do

the last few in Sydney and then finish in Brisbane. And then up there's really good for families and stuff. And then have a couple of week holiday, then fly back and do it that way. And that's something Emily said to him, it's real what that is. Exactly. And crucially, Rob, you don't have to take them on the flight over there. Lou's got to deal with that. I'll get hammered on the way back. Scarlet Moffat. Is it Moffat or Moffat? You know what? It just depends where you're from.

You can call us out. Because I always say Moffat. I say Moffat. That's like a northern dink. Well, yeah. Perfect. I panicked. Should we start again? I like it. I like it. Just keep it in. Yeah, people will finally, finally find Perfect. I panicked. Should we start again? I like it. I like it. Just keep it in.

Yeah, people will finally, finally find out. Huge exclusive. Before we start, Scarlett, congratulations on getting engaged. I know. I can't believe it, honestly. This was last night. I looked on your Instagram and said, I was speaking to Scarlett tomorrow. Brilliant. And I saw that. I was like, is she going to cancel? No, no. It was so lovely. Like, Scott knows that, like, as much as I think people think that, like, is she gonna cancel? No, no, it was so lovely. Like Scott knows that like, as much as I think people think that like I'm very outgoing,

like my favorite place is the house. So like as soon as I walked in and he had the lights and the rose petals and stuff, and then we just got our favorite Chinese, it was lovely. Oh. Yeah, it was really nice. And the baby was there, wasn't it? Yeah, little Jude, he had like a little top on saying, mommy will you marry daddy?

That was cute. How old is he? He's four months now. Oh wow. Oh my god so still early days. Yeah he's just dinky. How have you got such a tidy, because you just showed us your office before and you've got loads of like models and stuff, everything's very tidy and sorted with a four month old baby.

How are you so composed and doing so well? They don't crawl yet, do they? So I suppose you still have time to be able to tidy up and stuff. So if he plays with one toy it can go back in the box. I'm sure eventually that won't be the case. Well because we saw the collection of the little Warhammer figures, right? And are they yours or Scott's or both? They're both. So you're both into painting little models.

Both just geeks really. No shame. No, fine, I'll work with Josh. I'm used to it. Oh, come on now. But how protective are you over that? At what age do you reckon Jude will be allowed to play with the figures? You don't play with them, you sort of paint them and put them on the side, don't you? Oh, they're not for playing with.

No, no, come on Rob, bit of respect. No, they're not for playing with. I don't know, I suppose we'll have to have like a lock on this door, because like the figurines are very tiny, they are a choking hazard. They do sort of look like kinder bueno toys, there's that sort of thing. And they're quite low on the shelf. Yeah, I know. You'll have to lock that room. That room will have to be locked. But he will eventually be allowed in here.

Maybe it's when he's like five or something. Eventually, when they're a bit older and do it properly. But they'll be desperate to get in there and start painting them all. But then I'll be one of them mums that's like, now, now, paint properly. Make sure you're doing it properly, Jude. None of this mess in the...

It's not for fun. It's a very serious hobby. Is it Warhammer where you get them little like figures that you paint? People take it quite seriously don't they? Very intricate. You've got to have the big light on, sometimes you use a magnifying glass, very tiny, tiny, tiny brushes. So yeah, it's not for kids. Serious stuff Rob.

Am I making this up Josh, but did you do Warhammer stuff and Games Workshop? I did Warhammer from about the age of 11 to 13. I liked the playing I was no good at the painting my painting was shameful it was really bad. I bet it wasn't. Oh. But that tells me a lot about you Josh because the fact that you would rather play me and Scott paint it because we have no one else to play it with. So I think that says even more how geeky we are that we have no one to play the game with, so we have to just paint them. So is it a game then Warhammer as well? Yeah, there's rules.

How do you play the game? It's like Dungeons and Dragons and stuff, there's lots of dice rolling. Okay, well how do you play that? You can't say it's like Dungeons and Dragons and expect me to know how that works. It's like a war with dice rolling. Like Risk? Yeah, like Risk. Like a Vegas stag do? dragons and expect me to know how that works. It's like a war with dice rolling. Like Risk? Yeah, like Risk.

Like a Vegas stag do. Exactly. Well, Warhammer aside, Scott, how's it going? Four months old. You enjoying it or how's it going? Honestly, I love it. Like all of my family were like, I really hope you have a kid like you. I think they meant that in a bad way.

I think I must have been a really naughty kid because my mom and dad then waited 16 years to have another one. Right, okay. So me and my little sister have 16 year age gap between us. Well, he's just, I don't know if it's because he's temperament is like Scott's, but he's just wonderful.

And like I'm one of those really annoying people that when people go, oh, are you getting no sleep? I'm like, no, actually he sleeps 12 till seven every night since he was about two weeks old. What? Yeah. Really? What? Yeah. I must've been lovely in the past life

cause he's just so chill, honestly. He's just the most chill baby ever. Does he wake up for a feed? He like did before. Sometimes he still does now at about four. Then he just goes straight back to sleep. Oh my god. Can I just, your parents wished you had a difficult child like yourself that's what they said. Yeah that's awful isn't it when I actually say that out loud that's horrific. But yeah like I was the type of kid that even from about the age of four I remember like being sent to my room and writing letters

and posting it underneath the living room door. Yeah. Being like, I'm so sorry family, that I'm your child. Oh God. Take me back to the shop, get a different one if you want. And then my dad would be like, come on back in the living room. Manipulative, I think is the word I want. So they used to send you out the room? To see if I got in trouble.

And that, just being a bit naughty or whatever. Or it was my bedtime. And then I'd write letters to make them feel guilty about sending me to my room or like I wanted to watch Crystal Maze and I'd like just write a lovely letter and then knock on the living room door, post it under the door, then run back upstairs. And it worked every time.

They'd be like, come on, run back downstairs. I think that's the thing when you have your own kid you start to think back of what you were like as a kid. I used to moan about my kids getting up early then my mum was the same as yours would say like we used to gap at 4.30 every morning good luck and laugh along. We were like yeah excellent great news. I would do things like I remember not being allowed another penguin biscuit. I think we had seal biscuits though. They didn't have the joke on the back. They weren't that fancy. I remember being at school and having to pretend it had a joke on the back like,

oh yeah, what does yours say? Knock, knock. Who's making a joke of? But I remember putting a whole packet of them in my pyjama bottoms and then sitting by this like three bars on the gas fire and it looking like I just shot everywhere. I was that sort of kid. Oh, so you're stealing them to take to your room and then they melted in your pajama bottoms. I was that type of kid. So I'm hoping that Jude is just like Scott and is very chilled and not a penguin thief. Well, it seems that you've got an absolute winner with the sleeping. How was the pregnancy and the labor and stuff like that?

Was that as straightforward? Honestly, I loved it. I think for the first time in my life, I could wear bando dresses and not feel like I had to breathe in. What's a bando dress got? It's like a very, very tight dress. Right. Not very forgiving. It shows everything. Oh, I know them.

Yeah. And I purposely wore them because I was like, I'm never going to be able to wear these ever again in my life. So I can wear them throughout my whole pregnancy, breathe out, not be bothered. So yeah, I just lived in dresses the whole pregnancy. I absolutely loved it. Did you? This is the most positive episode we've ever recorded. I mean, I feel like I should maybe throw something like it is that. Well, the thing is, like I was just genuinely lucky. Like, and I feel like I have to say that because I've had loads of friends who have had morning sickness.

I didn't get any of that. My craving was funny, Jew melon. It wasn't anything weird like charcoal. I do feel very blessed in the pregnancy that I had. Actually, I suppose the actual birth didn't go to plan. So Jude came at 35 weeks. Blimey. Is that seven weeks early? Five weeks early, yeah. So I heard like a pop and then, well, Scott thought I'd weed the bed, which is not something I do on a regular basis. I don't know why he was like, oh, Scar thought I'd weed the bed, which is not something I do on a

regular basis. I don't know why he was like, oh, Scarlett, you'll be... Oh, here she goes again. Yeah. I was like, I think that's my water. He was like, nah, that's not enough water. Like I think because we've watched so many movies, we were expecting like a proper tsunami of like water. Yeah. I thought it was going to be a bit like bit like you know like in the films in like the summer in New York where they hit the fire hydrants and the water's come back. I was expecting like a powerful surge. I'm pleased it wasn't like that. No so then we went to the hospital and they were like oh yeah yeah active

labor hasn't started yet basically without I know like years of blocks but you've heard all this before my water broke, but then Jude's head was acting like a plug. Oh, what? I've not heard this one before, so it's plugged it up. Yeah, so he was like, no, I'm staying in here a bit longer. So every time I like walked or moved, a bit more dribbled out. Oh my word. So I was just walking around as if I was like just casually wee-ing.

Yeah. So then I had to have a C-section. But again, it was lovely. I could even joke myself. I would say that you're so positive. Where really in another person's hands, how was it? I was a nightmare. Baby was early and I had to have an emergency C-section because his head was a plug inside me. But you're like, yeah, just had a C-section.

Yeah, it was like honestly the nurses and my doctor was lovely she was called Jodie and she wore like a Disney hat and had pink crocs on she was just wonderful and then the music we had on Jude was actually lifted out of me to Shania Twain, Man I Feel Like a Woman. It's not the opening line, Shania. Let's go girls. It's perfect for me because all of his godparents are actually drag queens, so I just couldn't have wrote it. Amazing. And then my placenta was born to the Macarena.

Now, there's a couple of things I want to put you off, but born? Is it being born, the placenta, or is it coming out at the end? Because obviously the baby's being born, but when the placenta was born, that implies it lives as a life. Like it does that thing like how the Lion King where it gets lifted out, it sort of feels like it was born. I suppose with Caesarean, do they pick that up themselves then? They just pull it all out. And honestly, it's the weirdest thing. Like I thought when I looked into C-ero and do they pick that up themselves then? They just pull it all out and honestly it's the weirdest thing like I thought when I looked into C sections and stuff because I thought I best prepare myself in case this happens. I thought like you'd just not feel anything at all but you can feel everything but it's

just not painful. Yeah I thought it would be completely numb so you can feel them rooting around. Oh yeah you feel your organs like sort of drop after like Jude came out and then there's more room for your organs. I sort of like felt everything drop. Honestly, it was amazing. And they were playing Barbie Girl at that point.

No, I think I zoned out at that point. Please welcome to the podcast Simon Gregson. That is the introduction. Is that all right? Is that all right? That was perfect. It is correct, wasn't it? It was very correct.

I can't say nothing about it. You can't leave this with the ump after that. That's the other reasons for the day. Yeah. Where are you today? Oh yeah. Where are you at home? I'm at home, yeah. I've been up quite early helping my wife bake.

She's just started doing a cafe up the road, so. Doing a cafe? Running a cafe? Yeah, yeah. She's taken over a cafe at Garden Center, and so I'm making scones this morning for the first time ever in my life. Oh right okay well good luck to the people eating those scones. Exactly yeah we'll be sued by Wednesday.

Now Simon we've met before because you was on Queen's, well you're on Queen's for the night which is on ITV this Saturday in your first sort of performative role outside of Steve MacDonald on Corrie. Absolutely right yeah. And so how long have you been Steve MacDonald for this Saturday in your first sort of performative role outside of Steve Macdonald on Corrie. Absolutely right yeah. And so how long have you been Steve Macdonald for on Corrie? 33 years. Wow. 33 years and then you've done like a lot of the celebrity shows like Catchphrase and Family Fortunes and those sort of things yeah after 33 years you've taken on the role as a drag queen. So before we get on to the kids, I just was so shocked. Well, it's a natural transition.

How was that the first thing you did outside of Steve McDonald? It was really fun. You know, my agent, you know, gave me... He asked me whether I wanted to do it or not. And I was like, well, yeah, why wouldn't I? You've got a show, you've got range, Rob. This is the opposite of what you believe. Now he's making scones. He's a change man.

It's it, yeah. I was in me pinny this morning. I've not stopped. So, Steve, anyway, you was brilliant on that. We can talk about that a bit more later on. It's on, I think, Saturday night on ITV. But point of the episode, let's talk about your kids. How many kids you got? What are their ages? I've got three boys. I've got Alfie who's 15.

I've got Harry who is 13, and I've got Henry who is six. They're the most amazing boys. We're so very, very lucky with them, most of the time. Most of the time? They get on really well. There is a lot of testosterone there. So there is a lot of fighting, not to the point where there's blood drawn

or, you know, they get out swords or anything. Or typical brothers just rolling around and winding each other up. But apart from that, they're great. They're really great. We are blessed with them. They're very good boys. And you said you're not very good at computers

when we were setting up this Zoom. And I can see on your Zoom, it says Alfie. So are you on your son's laptop? Yeah, well, it was originally my laptop, but now it's ended up as Alfie's, like most of the things in the house. He's got a very small bedroom with all of our stuff in it. And how old's Alfie? 15?

15, yeah. And what's it like with teenagers? Has it hit that teenage angst yet? Do they sort of hate you now or is it a bit not as bad as the people make it out? You know what it's not as bad as people make out with us. I think because I have a friend who had a teenage daughter, who obviously she's not a teenager anymore, but when she was, she was not impressed with her dad at all. I think boys are a lot easier as teenagers. You still get that kind of, oh, do really, do I have to? And they do walk into things a lot.

He's very gangly, he's forever stubbing his toe. Really? Yeah. Because they're still not grown into their bodies yet? Yeah, absolutely, yeah. He's got no cut. He doesn't realize that the toes have got bigger, the arms have got longer, and he's finding it hard to navigate, you know.

So it's a lot of that. And you say that it's not that they're not impressed. Are they impressed by Steve McDonald? No. No. No, they're not interested in it at all. It annoys them actually. When we go out it annoys them. Me and Harry, my middle boy, we went out to supermarket the other day and of course people stop and they stare and you know

the usual one is that they kind of double-take and they're wondering whether it's you or not and they're going is it isn't it is it isn't it they even say it out loud sometimes no it isn't yes it is no it is like i can hear you i'm not dead i mean you guys must get this all done but harry finds it fascinating and starts to copy them and like walking around after them doing what they were doing what like them well yeah some of they can see he's like why do they do this, Dad? And then walk around and look at you like this. Why do they do that? So they can hear and they're all terribly embarrassed and walk away.

He's being defended, he's being protective of you. They are very protective of it, yeah. Yeah, they kind of don't, it doesn't compute for them like it doesn't compute for me, even after all these years. I kind of get it, you know, on a kind of logical level. But I really don't understand it somehow. There is a level of that fame that I think of being on a soap like Coronation Street for that long, is that everybody knows who you are. It's sort of like, you know, a few people will say hello to me and Josh if they watch odd programs and stuff, but everyone knows who's on

Corrie. It's crazy. It's almost like being a prime minister. Like if you're in one of the prime minister or one of the cabinet offices, everyone sort of knows you because they're always there on the telly every night. Yeah. I've made it in mind, during the show, we've done a lot of films, like really big films, and he'd done a lot of drama. You know, he was a very well-known actor. And he said, God, when you get recognised all the time,

you must do your editing. You must come to London. It does not as bad there. I don't get any my there. So I said, London's just as bad. I said, listen, wait until your character's on TV. Sure enough. He was getting hassled everywhere.

I said, that's so, you know, you're in people's front rooms all the time. And so your sons would never watch, would they ever watch Cory? I mean, I suppose it'd be weird for you. You don't. Do you ever sit down and watch it? That'd be weird. You know what? I don't. I used to a long time ago because a friend of mine, or a couple of friends of mine in the sound department used to set challenges for me, saying, I bet you can't do this. And I'd say, well, I bet I can.

And then I'd see if it's past the edit and gone out. And it always did. Like what? Well, for some reason, I started going, ah, before every sentence. Just for something to do, because after 30 odd years, you get really bored. So I was like, ah, I think I'll have a pitalargy. You know, stuff like that. So we made coin in, we made etch, God rest his soul. He said, I bet you can't do an er from the door all the way to the other side of the rovers bar.

And I did. And it went out. Stuff like scratching my bum and sniffing my fingers, that's gone out as well. Really? Amazing. It's just sneaked through the edit, yeah, it's great. So when you do the, from the door to the bar, did the director not go, what are you doing? Well, more than often, I'm going back quite a few years, more than often we kind of been out with the director

the night before, so we'd all had such a good laugh, nobody really cared. I was like, yeah, we're gonna do it. But people seem to like that anyway, so. Yeah, I know. I think your character sort of gets away with that a little bit, doesn't he, though? Because he's a bit more, you know, it feels just scary. You know, there's always like a scary one who's gonna be like,

end up killing someone or attacking someone. If they start going like, into the bar, it would be... Yeah, I seem to really get away, especially when Anchorman came out and I was like religiously watching The Simpsons. I was introducing those. I just got away with murder, yeah. And it's just made life very, very easy for me at work. But I suppose your kids aren't going to watch it.

Not many teenage boys sit down and watch Corrie every night, do they? How dare you, Rob? Did you when you were young? I used to love EastEnders when I was a teenager. It was the biggest thing with teenagers at my school was Cory. Are you joking? Really? Yeah of course not. I was getting into that now, really. I'm gonna go down to Devon, do some, mate. It's about Cory V. Emmerdale in my school. That was the big rivalry. So your boys aren't into it, but we will obviously come to real life parenting,

but on the Cory thing, what's it like acting with the young kids on Cory? Well, you know what? When I was acting with Ellie, Ellie Mulvaney who plays my daughter, Amy, she was about eight when she started. And very, very sweet, very lovely girl. But was would bully me kind of into playing with her all the time. So it's like, right, we're gonna do this with a doll or coloring in or whatever it was. And I'm like,

well, I'm just gonna know you're not. So we do this, do that anyway. But she made me want to have a daughter. Oh, really? Yeah, because obviously, so when a little girl like that plays your daughter for so long and you watch them grow, you become very protected of them, you know? I've known her all my life. I'm like, you know, her older brother, I guess. But in the early, because I've always wanted a kid since I was about 18, really. I always wanted like a mini me.

And now you've got three of them? Now I've got three of them. What have I created? I've created things that should not have been created. Well, yeah, she made me want to have a little girl because she's such a gorgeous, cute little thing, you know. And I was like, I want one of those at home, you know. So, but you're not going again?

Are you all done? You're six-year-olds youngest? Yeah, I've got the doctors to get his scissors out. So, but you're not going again. Are you all done? You want your six year old's youngest? Yeah, I've got the doctors to get his scissors out. Yeah, three is enough. Did you? Oh yeah. Talk us through that. Well, not two, not two.

Actually, go for it, yeah. It was absolutely painless. Absolutely. Apart from the big needle that goes in your plumb, so to speak. That was a bit of a sting. Dave, basically a big needle in the balls. Big needle in the sack or the actual ball? In the sack of the testicle.

In the actual, I don't know, because they won't let you look, you know? Oh, all right. So I've got this needle. But you're awake for the whole thing. Yeah, you're awake for the whole thing. Yeah. But you know, whatever they put in there, it's so numb, you can't feel a thing. And then they actually make the incisions and they kind of cut the tube, then they cauterize it and tie them together. And then they sew you

all up. But at the head end, there's a nurse holding my hand. And she's like talking to me about the Lake District, for some strange reason, to try and keep my mind off things. But she kept looking down the business end and pulling this face as like disgusting. I'm not helping. Right, Josh, you want to do the intro? Hello, James and Claire Buckley. That's the intro. Rob always says, do you want to do the intro? Not a lot to say, is there? There isn't. Well, we don't want you to sit there while we describe you. We think that's weird. So we do a little bit while you're not here. We intro you not in

front of you because that's awkward, isn't it? James loves people. I do. I don't mind it. Although it does get embarrassing when the intros obviously an intro to me is ever so small. It's very short. Did the in between us. What have you been up to for the last 15 years? You like channels? Not much. Well, you're smashing it with your YouTube channel. You two got your YouTube channel. Yeah, you are. We're not smashing it.

I've seen it. I've watched it. I like it. Oh, thank you. And I know it's good because it, you know, when a YouTube channel's big, because I wasn't a subscriber straight away, but your videos kept on popping up on the algorithm. I was like, oh, this is a good one because it's spreading.

Just keep throwing enough shit at the wall somebody will see it. Pretty much, yeah. You sure it wasn't pissing you off a little bit? No, no, I like it. Beating into watching it. I liked it. And you've got your podcast as well now, haven't you?

Yeah. You joined the pod revolution. You listen, I wanted to see how this podcast thing played out before I decided to get involved. Give it a good 10, 15 years. Yeah. I suppose if you and the Inbetweeners lads had started a podcast straight after the Inbetweeners. Don't get me started, bro.

Don't even get me started. Just those four lads chatting. I'm just saying. It must have crossed your mind. There was a little conversation that I may have mentioned to the boys. Listen, I'm just saying. It must have crossed your mind. There was a little conversation that I may have mentioned to the boys. Listen, they're like me, all four of us, the thing that we've all got in common the most

is that we hate leaving the house. Yes. So if we did a podcast together, me and the other boys, it would turn into a whole curb your enthusiasm situation where we'd have to definitely find the exact equidistant between each other's houses and... You can do it from home though, can't you? We're literally doing this from home. I don't even think Simon Bird has a television.

Really? Okay. He's got books where his TV should be. I think he's one of those guys. He lives near me, doesn't he? I sometimes see him in the park. Mmm. Just wandering around on his own, looking for a podcast host. Your podcast is much easier to edit than a YouTube video. It is for us because we don't edit the podcast. So that's why I like doing the podcast.

Editing stuff is awful. On the YouTube channel, everything's done by us, which is the... Yeah, all right. What's that? Claire? Claire's pointing herself. Yeah, I just did a strong one. So who's that, Claire? Claire's pointing herself. Yeah, ours is a strong word. So who does it, Claire?

It's us. I've done a lot of editing. You've done some, but I do most of it. Yeah. That's why I wanted to do YouTube. I wanted to just do whatever I wanted to. And are you a trained editor, Claire, or have you taught yourself? I trained you. I do, you can do that. James showed me once the very first video we did.

James sat with me and showed me how to do it. So I just sort of learned while doing it, learned on the job. But I'm all right now. I mean, I'm very basic. It's just basic. It's just YouTube videos, isn't it? Listen, any good stuff that I'm gonna come up with, I'm gonna see some money.

We're not putting our best stuff out on the YouTube channel. That's just free shit that we're giving to people. Yeah, there's no money in YouTube, KSI skin, are there? Yeah, I don't know where these guys are finding all the cash, mate. I don't know. I don't know. I think we didn't fill out a form or something. I've got a theory because there's obviously a market in making yourself look... By the way, I'm not doubting that he's not very wealthy.

But there is a sort of thing to make yourself look a bit more wealthier than you are on Instagram. And you're posed by a Lamborghini and stuff and it's just rented and things like that. You go, oh, I've picked up the new car today. And it's like, well, you've rented it for three months, haven't you, mate? Whereas we're the total opposite of that, aren't we? Yeah. We like to really highlight how awful and terrible our life is. How things have panned out for me personally.

It's just always. So don't tell me you dragged me into it. No, I'm not going down with a ship on my own. Career aside though, your personal life, you've got a lovely family though James. That's the light of your life now, isn't it? Personal life's great got no complaints I've made two little mates I get to play video games with and wrestle and beat up not beat up you gotta be careful about everything you say because that can just be printed that James beats up his kids that doesn't look good. Yeah and you've actually said it so you wouldn't

have a leg to stand on in call. Absolutely, yeah. And how old are your kids? How old are they, Claire? Go on, James. 10 and 11. Yeah. One's just about to turn 12.

Harrison's about to turn 12, just turned 10. Oh, so you had two under two for a bit then? Yes. What's the gap? 21 months. 21 months. Blimey. That's a quick turnaround, that, innit?

Do you feel like you're a bit out of the woods now? Well, we certain stuff, you know. Yeah, they do sort of start to become more self-sufficient, don't they? Yeah, maybe let me finish those things because I just said bum really loudly and then nothing else. Yeah, you just shouted bum and then James started talking. I didn't know what happened. I didn't know if he was trying to save you from something. I was going to say like the bum wiping, the tantrums, that sort of stuff, but we are heading into the, they call it the tween. So Harrison's going to be 12 in a couple of weeks

and we're getting a bit of attitude. That's creeping in. We've been told from parents that are a bit further along the line than us to enjoy the time now because pretty soon they're not going to want to talk to you and stuff like that and just go to their room and that's going to really break my heart. Yeah, we do keep talking to Harrison, we're like, will you promise not to be a stroppy

teenager like still hang out with stuff and he's always like, yeah, no, of course, of course. But sometimes, like when I've started more recently, getting him up for school in the morning, you know, sometimes you can just tell he hates me right now. Yeah. He does not have time for me at all right now. And you really see that little shift happening. And then obviously once they discover wanking, you're never going to see him for ages, are you?

Oh, no, you won't see him again. No, they won't do that. They won't do that. They won't do that. They won't do it. You're going to have the only two teenage boys in the world that never wank. I'd say that would be more of an issue. That would be more problematic. Yeah, I'd send them to see someone about that.

Yeah, you get to 21. You've never had a wank. Oh, my God. Who the hell would you send them to see for that? I don't know, but I'm at, well, it's people. Careful. Careful they can help you. You can put the word out, someone should be able to help. Also, yeah,. But I'm at well, there's people.

Put the word out someone should be able to help. Also, yeah, they're going to discover wanking. They'll probably discover the in between as well, which how do you feel about that? Because that is some of the words in that you don't really want a 12 year old saying clunge. They're very aware of the in between. Yeah, of course they are. They've never seen any of it. They know it's very rude. And they're not supposed to watch it. So our eldest has started secondary school now. Yeah, of course they are. They've never seen any of it. They know it's fairly rude. And they're not supposed to watch it. So our eldest has started secondary school now.

Yeah. He's getting a little bit of street cred. Is he? Being Jayee's son, your dad's a legend and stuff like that. And he keeps turning around saying he's not. He's really not. I was talking to Blake Harrison about it, who played Neil. I was talking about the UFC thing and it's like, it's so ingrained, it's like a cultural thing more than just a popular

show. It's like people of a certain age know everything about that show. So it goes beyond just being on telly for a bit and it will sort of be around forever because it was such a big hit. But I didn't know if it was carrying on with younger audience members as well. Is it still growing with the younger lot as well, James? I get loads of kids coming up to me and I'm like, mate, you must have been three when we started making it. What is going on? James is getting the thing now that really sort of hurts your heart a little bit where it's like,

I grew up watching you. Yeah, and the bloke is about 34 or something. We're the same age. What are you talking about? I grew up watching you and I'm like, did you have a paper round on the N25 or something? I suppose it's a great show for like, if a dad who's in his mid-30s is trying to connect with a teenage boy, like if you're 15, 16, the in-betweeners is the funniest thing of all time, ever. And if you loved it as when you were that age and then you're trying to find something to watch for your kids,

that is a great show to watch, isn't it? I wouldn't watch it with my kids. I wouldn't watch it with my kids. Whoa, it's different for you. Yeah, because you're in it, obviously. You don't know what to watch with your kids. But Claire, would you sit down and watch it with the boys while James sits in another room?

No, no, no, thank you. No. I've heard it's very funny, but nah, it's too weird. Obviously I've seen clips and stuff, but it's too strange. Do you find that people are like, what, you've got kids, but you're only like 18? Cause you're kind of like, it's like you've been locked into this thing.

Do you know what I mean? Where everyone sees you at this stage. Definitely in the beginning. Yeah, in the beginning. I mean, I suppose in this day and age, we did have our children quite, we were in our sort of early twenties. And I suppose that's quite young these days to have kids because how old are you? I'm 36. So yeah, you're pretty young. But yeah, there was a lot of like, comments online and stuff. It's like kids having kids,

stuff. It's like kids having kids. Absolutely terrible. Like, broken, 16. I'll be paying for those kids as well. So how involved are you at school and the drop off? And how do you split the because your work is very sort of ad hoc, isn't it? You work together, you can film when you want. So how do you split the parents and is it 505050 or does it swing more one way? Annoyingly I used to do because they're now both at different schools. So we both on the school run now. Right, oh catanoid. It is terrible. It's awful because it... What sort goes through the school run then? Well it used to be that you like,

I would do the school run. If I wasn't working, I would do the school run because I feel like I can handle that. I know where I am. I can drive in a car. I love the school run. I've not gotten too late that I before I love it. Yeah, get them to school. They're already dressed and everything and they're gone. Yeah, pickups are worse because you have to have them. Yeah, the pickup. I stare at my watch during pickup because there's a time and it's like half three or something like that. It're supposed to come out.

And when it gets to 3.33, I'm like, well, this is, I've got stuff to do. I've got a life as well. I'll tell you what, I'm going to start dropping them off three minutes later. That's cool. See how that works out for you. What?

Clare, are you involved with like the mums and dads? You and the WhatsApp groups or? Yeah. Is James taking the lead on that? No, I'm not. No, I thought so dads, you're in the WhatsApp groups or? Yeah. Is James taking the lead on that? No, I'm not. No, I thought so. I'm not in the WhatsApp groups. I'm desperately trying my hardest not to turn up to like assemblies and things like that.

Really? It's great and everything. I get to see my kids sing a song or something like that, but it's 30 seconds of watching my child do something and then about two hours of sitting there bored out of my night. Like honestly, during sort of post COVID, when we had to wear masks, I loved that because I could just sit there yawning.

Without offending other parents. Now you gotta be on the WhatsApp groups these days. To be honest, the WhatsApp groups are more helpful than the actual school because you get these cryptic emails about all these different things throughout the year. And like, there's always those couple of mums who really know what they're talking about. They're organized, they're ready to go.

I'm always like, what's that thing? What do they need? When is that? And then like one of the organized mums will just tell you what to do. It's because they've done away with the letter home. Because then if you didn't get the letter, you can really lay it into him and go, it's your fault.

You were supposed to give me that letter. I get about three or four emails from the school. I'm not reading them all. Of course I'm not. It's impossible. There is a lot. It's like a full time job trying to read school email. Yeah, I'm a bloating admin officer.

Did less stuff happen when we were at school or did they put it in the letter? Well, no, but they had to really want to tell you, didn't they? So now they're like, well, I might as well pop it in an email. Yeah, true. But I do think less stuff happened. I mean, the stuff they do know, like odd sock day and I'm just like... Oh, yeah, fuck all that. You've got to take a quid into air tights.

Fuck off. Don't care. It's ten quid. Leave me alone. Yeah, you've got to take a quid into air tights. Fuck off, don't care. It's ten quid, leave me alone. Yeah, you've got to pay money to wear your own clothes. I don't know what the book day comes dressed as a book... Why do we only find out about that the day before? Every single year, that day sneaks up on us. And you've got to run around trying to find a Where's Wally costume. And they really are to find actually.

Yeah. There's the clip for Instagram. I'm going to be laughing about that tonight. I'm going to be just for a second. That was a good one. Yeah, I enjoyed that. All right, take the next five minutes off. Hello and welcome to the podcast, Finn Taylor, comedian, parent, coffee drinker. Yes, guilty on all fronts. Hand me in.

What would you describe yourself as first? In order? Wreck, I'd say. I'd say sort of husk. Well, you do look a little bit wired today. Are you all right? Is it been a stressful day? Well, it's because we're staying in a, we're having building work done because we bought a fixer upper because my wife, well, that's, that's the end of the sentence because my wife, she likes that sort of thing. Put your own stamp on it. Yeah. Yeah. I just quite like a place to sit down in. The thing is you're adding value, Finn. Have you heard the phrase adding value yet? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, can we do with that phrase, that concept? We bought it just before the whole Ukraine thing. So we're now just kind of trying to

level out the mortgage increases that are going to hit us next year. Yeah, good God. Yeah, so it means that the commute to nursery is like 35 minutes, 40 minutes traffic. That was my life, Finn, for three years. So I'm getting up early, getting her in the car. I'm just like passing snacks back sort of constantly. So you're further away from the nurseries you were then now. Yeah, the nurseries at the end of our roads where we live,

but we're in Tooting at the time being while the work's happening. Where do you live? Sydenham. Oh, really close, yeah, I'm close. Everyone's coming to South East, it's the future. Yeah. Great sanctuaries you've got in Sydenham.

Supposedly the biggest in the southeast. Oh, it's like a stand at a football stadium. It's got a lint door pick and mix. Oh, wow. Yeah, sushi. It's an unbelievable sangeries on a big round one way system. I imagine the locals didn't take kindly to the sushi counter. Rob, I imagine you all sort.

So what's all this then? The kind of thing. Yeah, I think it was a bit like that. It just looked like a fishmonger's having a breakdown. Just let him crack on. Don't know what he's up to. He keeps wrapping it in rice. Tiny bits of ice. I've got to go back to this lint pick and mix. This is a Josh Whiddicam routine, if ever that's all right.

A lint door pick and mix in a science braise. Yeah. No, I'm excited. Who's coming in the Sultan of Brunei? Wait there, let me get a pen and paper. So how many different types of lint is there kicking around? Yeah. I'd probably say there are maybe seven or eight colors.

Surely the red ones are lowest in stock. Do you think? I like the white. Yeah. Yeah. You can tell a place is going up in the valley when the dark chocolate starts going. You know, Southeast is getting gentrified because the fucking shit stuff is starting to sell.

It's quite fun thinking what your routine would be, Josh, because I think you could do... I don't know if it is. I think it's a character assassination. That's what it is, Rob. Because you could go, oh, is it like the King of Abu Dhabi, and then do a dib dab, and that would bring back a bit of nostalgia with like an Abu Dib dab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What I do is a piece of piss. That's what we're getting down to. He's fucking fish in a barrel, choosing an old thing, take it apart, put in a funny reference, tour with your eyes dead. Okay, I actually did go the wrong way. Finn, how are you? You alright? Tor, with your eyes, dead. D-...

OK, that actually did go the wrong way. Finn, how are you? You all right? Yeah, well, I'm fine, actually, compared to Josh. Yeah, remarkably long fuse, it turns out. That's why most guests leave happy on this show. Yeah. How old is your daughter? Well, listen, I've been saying 18 months for a few months now.

Yeah, me too, yeah. I really resent the months thing. In my head, it should go one, one and a bit 18 months, nearly two, two. Yes. You know, when people, you saw how old I was here and they're like 22 months and you go, I don't actually care. Like, why are you, do you know what I mean? It's normally because they say that because if they say two and a half and they're not at the developmental point they want them to be, they don't want

you to think they're kids slow. Yeah. So I've just been fudging for a while. I think, what is she? She'd be 20 months, but because she was premature, she's still actually 18 months technically. So I guess there is a bit of a fudge. It's like the aggregate away goals. This is.

Yeah, it is. So how premature was she? Seven weeks. Fucking Laura. Bloody hell. Spicy entry. Yeah, that is the spice. That's the medical term. Three chilies. Does the doctor turn to you and go, I'm afraid this is going to be a spicy entry.

This is not a lemon and herb birth, I'm afraid. This is the subio. You're looking at a Diablo subio section. They have three chilies on the whiteboard, yeah. So she has two ages until they're two, supposedly, where all where all the development like is caught up. So for the first seven weeks, you're like, well, that was a lot of fucking parenting to get to square one. Yeah. Getting yourself out of a hole. Yeah.

We were in a neonatal unit for yeah, nearly two months. So let's go. Let's go from contractions. Yeah. Didn't get to them. Didn't get to contractions. So let's go from- Let's go from contractions. Yeah. Didn't get to them. Didn't get to contractions. So what happened?

No, so my wife had a thing called preeclampsia, which is, have you had anyone on? Do you guys, you must be well versed in women's stuff. Preeclampsia, I've heard of it, but I don't think we've had a guest talk about it. We've covered Brevels extensively. Brevels? Yeah.

Has that passed 35 weeks? I don't think we made it to Breville's. Yes, but they're overdue. Right, okay, you've got to get the Breville out to you. She's absolutely Brevelled out this one. Get a sweep in. Smoke them out. Yeah, so pre-eclampsia, well, they don't really know much about it because obviously it's women's medicine and they sort of seem to concentrate on prostate cancer and veterinary science more than they do medicine. But it's something to do with placenta. And it basically, the only cure is delivering the baby. Right. Fuck.

Lucky she was pregnant then. Well, yeah, it would have been a real job to go back nine months or seven months as it were. I mean, I would have done it. But anyway, yeah, so she just kind of started swelling up. I mean, they missed it. The problem was that normally what happens is if you get preeclampsia, they like, they catch it because your blood pressure goes up and then you're on bed rest, basically while the baby carries on growing and then they deliver close to term. But because they missed it, they still don't really know why. But anyway, she was like, she was really swollen, like swollen face and ankles and hands.

How long for? Like for months? Well, no, she always had quite a bad carpal tunnel with the hands. Because it was the first pregnancy, I was like, well, women get big, don't they? So I, you know, you don't want to, you don't want to. You can't bring it up. You don't want to go blow it out. Look at you. You're glowing. You're glowing. You are three times the size, but you're glowing. More of a kind of Chernobyl glow than a H2-1. But it's fine, isn't it? You keep it to yourself. You're the hype man, aren't you? You got to support them.

Yeah. It turns out there was quite a bit wrong with her. And we went for a, in hindsight, quite a bad idea. We went for a sort of little pre-baby holiday in Cornwall. hindsight, quite a bad idea. We went for a sort of little pre-baby holiday in Cornwall and she had a funny turn. I mean, she's also, she's type one diabetic. Went to Lisgard instead of St Ives. Lovely stuff. Lindor's back. He's back in the room. This is his wheelhouse.

Funny place names. Here I am. I just want to let you know, Finn was talking about diabetes as well though, Josh. It was quite serious actually at that point. All got a bit serious, but then, then door pops up. Hit ultra, right? This way is here. He's just floating in the space like Thomas Muller. The Plymouth punchliner. Can't stop him. He'll be absent for ages and then bang. No, she's got a type of diabetes. So like,

I just sort of called an ambulance and then they sort of settled her. They said sort of, she's fine. And then later that night, she just like started vomiting and her face was like, it was like a sort of almost like an allergic shellfish kind of reaction. Her face was really puffed up. So we drove to Truro hospital and they were like, yes, probably preeclampsia. And then they kind of stabilized and then they were like, we'll let you go. Basically they were like, do you live in Cornwall? We were like, no. And they were like, well.

It's not the time to get into that debate about out of towners guys. Yeah. You're just down here looking at a few properties actually to buy to alert. So then they basically discharged us on the condition that we went straight back to King's where we were. Fuck. So did you have to then just drive back that night? Like drive back the next day, eight hours without stopping.

Muggins here. Oh my God. That wasn't great. And then got her into King's and they did a bunch of tests. And so bear in mind, this is sort of, this is coming up to 33 weeks. Then they were like, I was thinking, okay, so we'll be in the hospital for like a month and then they'll deliver. And then they came in and said, yeah, we're going to have a go tomorrow actually.

And I was like, have a go is quite a loose. I was hoping we'd say we'd get her out, but have a go. All right. We'll muck in. That's exactly what you need, isn't it? An eight-hour drive from Cornwall just before you have a premature baby had to go out. Have a go. Yeah. So yeah, then they're like, we're going to go tomorrow because she's actually, she's quite unwell. And then that's when I opened my first parenting book was the night before. Yeah. I was sort of cramming before an exam. You thought you had seven weeks, didn't you? Well, yeah, I was like, we hadn't bought a pram or anything. It was, yeah. They delivered

the next day. And were you worried about, did it feel like it was kind of scary? Yeah. But the whole thing was sort of to save Amanda's life as much as it was like a birth experience. Yeah. I haven't really worked out a way to talk about it. You know, when other parents are sort of sharing their birth war stories. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't really know how to talk about it in a way that doesn't kill the room, much like my act about five years ago. I haven't quite ironed out the tone. Obviously, because the first year was quite a lot that happened. And of everyone we know, we've had the toughest entry as it were. So we're the ones that they use as an example when they want perspective. Could be worse, could be worse. So how did you get on with hypnobirthing? It's difficult. I mean, obviously men, you sort of learn to not really have an opinion

on how women give birth, don't you? It's not really our place. But there's been a couple of times when friends or people have gone on about how they were annoyed at how medical their birth was and it wasn't the experience they wanted. And I'm just a bit like, I'm just going to have to leave. I don't really know how to, I just sort of get a bit angry because I don't really know how to. Oh, get a bit angry because I don't really know how to I'm so sorry that you didn't feel like it was spiritual enough for you But yeah, I was sat there after an eight hour drive like you are gonna die if you don't get a baby Yeah, exactly. You're like fuck. Oh, I'm sorry. They forgot to get your crystals out

Very sterile the hospital wasn't it? I just don't... Yeah. They didn't even light a candle, you know. The real stress was that I was trying to connect to the Bluetooth speaker for about 10 minutes. And then because it was an emergency C-section, I think you've only got 10 minutes to try and connect before they go, you know what, mate, let's give up on the music. Let's just get on with it. I'm going to scrub some, mate. I think I ended up playing Spotify out of my phone by Amanda's face.

Great app choice by the way. The perfect app choice I'd say. Oh Christ, just an A-cast. I'm going to throw the cat amongst the village. No, we're not podding. We're not podding. That's it for this special Best Of episode. for this special best of episode. I'm Natalie Cassidy, and I've been wanting to do a podcast of my own for a very long time. And here it is.

I'm gonna be talking each week to family, friends, most importantly, you. I wanna talk about the issues that are bothering me, things that make me smile, and how we get through that washing basket without having a nervous breakdown. This is a podcast for the general public, for the normal people. So get on board, become part of my community and let's have a laugh.

Hello, it's me, Jessica Knappett and here, here, here, here, brand new podcast alert. I've got a new show for you. It's called Perfect Day and yeah, you've figured out the premise already, haven't you? Because you're so smart and because it's obvious. Every Thursday I interview a guest about what constitutes their perfect day. So if you like hopes and dreams, fantasies and sweet memories. You're gonna love this stuff. Ah, we have got so many lovely, funny, nice people on. You're Ramesh Ranganathan's, you're Dolly Alderton's,

you're Jamali Maddox's, Arabella Weir, she's doing it. Don't worry about the quality of the guest. Just worry about when you're gonna listen to it. Or don't worry about when you're gonna listen to it, just actually listen to it. See you soon. Jess Knapp here, signing off, wishing you a perfect day.