Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S9 EP46: Jack Dee (The Return)

Episode Date: February 7, 2025

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian, actor and presenter - Jack Dee. You can find tickets and info on Jack's new tour 'Small World' here; jackdeecomedy.com Insta: thisisjackdee X: therealjackdee Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: @parentinghell  Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course,

tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Wealthsimple's Big Winter Bundle is our best match offer yet. Get a 2% match when you transfer over an eligible RRSP. For a $50,000 transfer, that's a $1,000 cash bonus. Enough to buy a fancy parka. A ticket to somewhere you don't need a fancy parka. Or just be responsible and top up your retirement fund.

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you can make your investing steps count. And if you're like me and think a TFSA stands for total fund savings adventure, maybe reach out to TD Direct Investing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... maybe reach out to TV Direct Investing. say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. Good boy. And can you say Josh Widdecombe? Josh Widdecombe. Fantastic, well done. She was surprised with that, he nailed it. This is my 27-month-old Zachary. Two and a bit. He's recently become big brother to Oscar who was an unplanned home birth. Was the baby unplanned or the home birth unplanned? Home birth was unplanned because it left us with quite a story to tell and a large stain

on the living room floor. Oh. Cleaners are on Tuesday. We absolutely love the podcast. It's got a professional job, though, that, isn't it? That's a special bit of equipment to clean up. It's a deep clean, isn't it? Yeah.

It's like Dexter, kind of. We absolutely love the podcast. Thank you for all the laughs and for keeping us sane during all the sleepless nights. Alice 400 months, Chris 440 months, Zachary 27 months and Oscar 3 months. From Sutton Coldfield, originally Lincolnshire, hence no Brummie accent. I didn't know Sutton Coldfield was in the Midlands. Oh played Sutton-Colefield, Rob? No, I feel like I've been there on a football team. No, Sutton are. That is South West London. I think Sutton-Colefield are a team as well, aren't they?

Sutton United caused a huge upset and the bloke ate the pie. Do you remember that? Yeah, but Sutton-Colefield Town are a team as well in the non-league Div 1. Non-league Div 1. Non-league Div 1. Shout out to Plymouth Argyle who are playing Liverpool tomorrow, Rob. Oh, in the FA Cup? Actually on Sunday. They're playing Liverpool on Sunday.

They're on the telly? Yeah. Do you want to know where I'll be, Rob? Where will you be? Taking my daughter to see Strictly Come Dancing live at the O2. Wow. Doesn't that make me a wonderful dad? Hang on, so what time is the football?

Three, we're going to the matinee. Oh yeah. You can have it on your phone can't you? Yeah, I mean I'm in the box so maybe I can actually. Sat there on the phone not watching. Get you up there, replace Winn Evans. He's off it now. Do you know what, I've been waiting for the call. I've been waiting for the call.

Because Chris McCauldsons, I think, is the first winner not to do the tour ever, isn't he? Yeah, I was talking to him. He was gutted, actually, genuinely. He wanted to do that and his tour, but he'd already rescheduled his tour for the original Strictly and he thought, I can't reschedule it again. That's a p***stack. Do listen to Chris and Diane's podcast, which is out now if you're a Strictly fan or Chris McCausland fan. Oh, absolutely. By the way, Rob, yeah.

Can I ask you a question about O2 tickets? Yeah. So my daughter is a become a mega fan of Sabrina Carpenter in the last two weeks. Yes. She's doing the O2. Yes. I think Viagogo is the spawn of the devil and absolute scum. Yes. This episode is sponsored by... If you don't know Viagogo, it's a website in which people buy tickets

and then sell them for a greatly inflated value. It's a touting website. I'm going to say it. You're better off, especially if like comedy tours and stuff, just ringing the venue and asking to put a waiting list because there's always at least 2030 tickets released on the week because they're held back as guest list tickets. They'll always put like 2030 tickets on sale. And if you speak to the box office, they can put you on the list for them. Do you think I can take my daughter to Hyde Park because I

can't get tickets to the O2. She's doing Hyde Park. It's seven going to be a nightmare. Tyrone Hyde Park? Paul You know like British summertime, you know those British summertime gigs? Tyrone So I went there, yeah, and saw Adele and it was brilliant. There's an area though, if

you get in the front area bit where it's a bit more of an expensive ticket. Paul The golden circle. Tyrone I think that's what it's called. It's a little bit more space. Paul Yeah. Tyrone

And that's where we were stood. Whereas the further back bit, you're not seeing much and she probably have to go on your shoulders for most of it. Oh, God. And then you'd have to go on someone else's shoulders as well. It's a bit of fun. Pay one ticket. I just noticed a lot of standing up as well. I think for that age group, you'd be better off at the O2, but is it just completely sold out?

It's completely sold out. Anyway, there we go. If anyone's got any Sabrina Carpenter tickets they want to sell, contact Josh. I'll pay face value. Pay face value, no more, no less. I'll chuck in tickets to my tour. Yeah, or just face value. Or just face value. They don't have to have a moral obligation. Once they've got the cash.

The worst would be if they said, I'll sell you some face value and I don't want the tour tickets. Or I'll sell them to you half price if I have to go to you. Will you be checking whether I use your tour tickets? Because I'm happy to accept them. But we'll use it. Is there a spotlight on the two empty seats when I don't turn up? Can I just say I definitely don't want a meet and greet. That would be the worst case.

What you been up to Josh? Any news? What's going on? Gigging, working, families feeling better, feeling good? Sorry, I never got around because of Lou's incredible voice notes. Go back and listen to Tuesday's episode because it's an absolute corker. There's a lot of goat chat to get through, but it's worth it. Yeah. Then the goat appears. Am I right? So what did you say? What didn't we get around to? Cause of all the voice note stuff?

First ever sleepover. Oh yes. How was that? Well, they were incredibly well behaved. Yeah. So she came around, uh, her friend, they'd stole a load of snacks from the cupboard, but that's deal. You know, you're like, I want them to do that. Cause I want them to have that feeling. Do you know what I mean?

I don't want to say it was okay to Nick the Snack. So they just sort of sneaked in and got them. They sneaked in. That's fun. Yeah. It was fun. Yeah. I think they might've gone through a whole packet of milk chocolate digestives, but that's life. So do they, are both the kids out your bedroom now? Yeah. So they're both in their own rooms. Yeah. All night. No, my son comes in. He trundles in. My wife said to him about him trundling in. Now he thinks trundle is the actual terminology for coming into our

bed. So he's like, I'm trying to live. Yeah. So he could trundle in anything from three to seven 30. Sometimes he doesn't trundle in. Sometimes he comes in at three, which I quite like, to be honest, we both agreed we quite like it when he gets in bed. His bed etiquette's got better. Right. He's not as hoggy. And he is, after all, quite small. He got to hang out with them. So basically, it was easier than if we hadn't been doing a sleepover. And then in the morning, woke up to them coming up and downstairs and a lot of crashing about. And then I went up and they'd taken all the cushions and built basically the whole room was a bed by this point a bedroom. Right. Her room was a fucking state. Her room was absolutely horrific. But

they were very well behaved apart from that. Do you know what I mean? So they they were very gonna make a bit of a mess, but she can tie it. She's old enough to tie it now, isn't she? It was beyond saving. And she had a friend coming around an hour after her first friend left. Fucking hell. I know. That's so you.

You are zero buffer, man. I'm zero buffer. You know, after this podcast, I've got to do that. You allow yourself very little time between things. Well, it's because they basically, that was the first thing booked in was the friend coming around on the Sunday. And then last weekend, she was this other friend over that she had sleepovers. She's like, can we have a sleepover? We're like, not today because it's out of nowhere, but next week. And then suddenly, Zero Bufferman kicks in.

Was there any crossover or did they all come at the right times? No, it came at the right times. She's talking to someone like, Hey, I'm coming from a play date. And it's like, someone else already here. Yeah. And the whole room's a bed. Yeah. We had to say, look, this isn't good enough. The room is a fucking state. Cause it was like sequins from a box everywhere on the carpet with the box still open, two pricks sticks that have gone dry, all that just like times a million.

Yeah. And then this is so like, I know it's good that your children are talking about their feelings. I think that's a good thing. It's so Gen Z or whatever generation she is. She was like, when you get angry, it makes me sad. And you're like, you can't go, well, that's the point. Because you're like, Oh, God, oh, God. And you're like, I would never have said that as a kid. Do you know what I mean? I've never had the...

But then what are you angry about? Because don't you just expect that mess? I can't tell you how bad the room was. back. Don't you just expect that mess? I can't tell you how bad the room was. Like, so it was more it wasn't just it was messy. It's like every single box had been emptied. So if I go in and it's some state, and I go right, this is a mess you need to tidy. I'm not angry straight away at the mess. No, I'll say right, okay, you've had fun. It would have been physically impossible for her to

tidy this up in less than five hours. I wish you had a photo. I can't imagine a room that bad. I might have a photo. I can't remember. What I'll say is I would say like, all right, you need to tie this up. And then I can't put them check. And if they've done nothing, then I will get slightly more aerated. You know, you're taking a piss now. Kind of thing. But this is, I'd say, but you stress cause you've got the other friend coming slightly.

Cause it's like, you can't have a child. It would have been say, but you stress because you got the other friend coming slightly because it's like you can't have a child. It would have been fine if we weren't going straight into the other friend. But then you get to the point you're like, well, I shouldn't have got angry. Do you know, I, we didn't get that angry. I think we made it sad was the sleep over had gone really well. Yeah. And then it's that thing of it's slightly ruining it for her. Well, that's what the thing is. If, if I'm having a sleepover, I've done, I know it was because it came last minute,

you don't want another play date straight after because you need time to tidy up and sort out the mess. Yeah. And for the kids to have a little calm down. Yeah. So you're going, Oh God, someone's coming around a minute. It's a state. Yeah. Where if they weren't coming around, you could just go, right, tidy it up and she does it in her own time. Yeah. This isn't as bad as it was. This is like during the tidy. This is probably 20 minutes into the tidy. And this is adults helping.

Yeah. I can't tell you how many sequins there are on the floor. Out of shot. Fair enough. The problem is the other person coming, isn't it? Yeah. Because if they weren't coming, you just go, right, your friends left at 11am or whatever.

You need to tidy this up today before, you know, this needs to be tidied up. Yeah. Oh, bless her. They look like they've had fun though. But it's great that we're having discussions about emotions and all of that. But it's so Gen Z. You make me feel sad. You make me feel sad when you get angry about something. And if you know what, fair enough. That's why I did it. So you'd get fucking upset and sort it out. Because you don't want me to do it because I couldn't control my emotions because I was so annoyed at all the sequins. You don't like this feeling. So don't do it again. But it's rare. Right. Shall we bring on our guests? Yes. Oh, this is brilliant. We love this guy.

Parent as kids have flown the nest now I think though so an empty nester is he now? I think he is. I don't know because we're recording this just before we don't know. We'll find out. Due to London prices. They might still be in the house. But it's the brilliant Jack Dee one of the greatest comics this country's ever produced. And a lovely bloke even though he doesn't want the world to know it. Great guy, lovely guy. Great guy. Here's Jack Dee. Hello, Jack Dee. Welcome back to the podcast. You look like you're in a hotel, and I'd say you don't look like you're happy there. What is it that makes you think this is a hotel?

Because it's just curtains that no one would have at home, is it? Now it's all good if this is your home. If it's your home, question one, why have you got an orange stripe down the middle of your curtain? I know it is quite a strange thing. It's a trim rather than a stripe. I think you'd have to say if I wanted stripy curtains and you'd ended up with that, you'd

be disappointed. You would have had to specify no more than one stripe. I missed the S off the end of the word on the email. Thanks for coming back on, Jack. How you been? I'm very well, very well indeed. I'm speaking to you from Exeter. Oh, are you?

Yeah, I'm on tour. You're in the DuVan? Yeah, I mean. I was in the DuVan last week. Oh, were you? Yeah. Okay, there's lots of signs saying they won't accept rudeness to staff or rowdy behavior,

which must have happened to you. We're here, I think. The breakfast was very busy when I was there last week. Was it? You must have gone down too early. I went down about 9.30 and it's all right. I had a question. As you can see, Jack, our podcast has really grown into some really high level chat. It really has. I think it's what people tune in for though, isn't it? I was going to steer it by saying I still enjoy being able to have an uninterrupted breakfast, which is what I had this morning. I didn't have to kind of answer questions. So we were discussing this beforehand. Do any of your children still live in in Shes Dee?

I've got one staying with us still, and he's about to move out. So we will be an empty nest then, technically is the term, isn't it? And I, they all come back and sort of stay periodically, you know, but that's as guests rather than, because, you know, they're in trouble or something, but touchwood. How do you feel about it?

I like it. Sorry, was I too quick answering that? Of course I like it. I can remember they're in their 20s and 30s now my kids, you know, I didn't want them to stay forever. It's weirder to be desperate from to be there in their 30s, isn't it? Like, please don't go. You don't want to be that guy. They have to go and find their own thing. And, you know, it's great. It's difficult actually when, because we, they've all lived in London all their life.

So it's quite difficult to do that thing that lots of people do, which is I'm going to leave home and go and live in London. Because they're already in London, you know. And so one of my sons, he sort of broke it to us. He says, I've got something to tell you. What's this going to be then? He says, I'm going to go and live in North London. That was his way of being a rebel and running away from home. So he's, he actually likes it. So he's, he's there up in North London. Yeah. Cause that's the thing of like, if you're moving out, the point of moving out is to go somewhere else different or whatever, but they're essentially

standing in the same place, but I imagine just in a shitter house. One would hope so. Yeah. I don't want to be outstripped at this point. I want them to pace their trajectory of success so that they become multimillionaires just at the point when I'm going to need that kind of support. A couple of months. Yeah, not long.

And would I be fair in saying that you've upped your work? It feels like you're on tour a lot more now that your kids are in their 20s. It's a massive tour, this. I think that when the children were quite small, I sort of was looking for something else to do other than constantly tour. And although I made light of the fact that when they were very tiny, I actually booked a tour just to get away from them.

I make no apology for that. I had four kids under six in the house. I couldn't stand it. So I just, I took my agent, just put me a tour and where do you want to go? Anywhere. I don't care. So this car would turn up and I'd crawl into the backseat and sleep and then wake up at any venue and just do the show. But when they got slightly more, you know, enjoyable to be around,

took about 10 years, to be honest. But that's when I started doing sitcoms and lead balloon and stuff. One of the big drivers for me was to be around and be at home a bit more. So for about six years, I didn't do standup during that period. You managed to time it as well with the, with the standup and DVD money boom.

You really managed to pick the right time to get out the standup game. We were very fortunate with being able to do it in the nineties. And so, yes, it was, it was great. You can do your standup and then make a film of it and sell it to the TV station, and then sell it as a VHS or a DVD

or whatever it was gonna be. And so that part of the market has fallen away, but it's not, this is gonna sound disingenuous. We don't simply do it for the money. It's to see the smiles on people's faces. It was worth a try. It was worth a try. It was worth a try. You made a conscious decision then when they got a bit older.

So when they were like around 10, you had like their teenage years and their early teens, you were at home doing jobs at home more than the traveling. A bit more. And the other thing I did was I didn't do Edinburgh Fringe Festival because it's August, it's a summer holiday and I just think, you know, I can't, I just don't want to spend every August in Edinburgh doing that surrounded by people moaning about their careers. I could actually be at home and having a nice time going to the beach and doing stuff like that.

So I'm not painting myself as some great martyr, but a little bit of getting the priorities right at that stage was probably the right thing. Yeah. Did you miss stand up when you were doing that? Do you know what, it took me quite a long time to get into it again. It really did. It was funny enough. The late Jeremy Hardy said to me, you must start again, you've got to do it again. Whether that was a compliment, or he just wanted me to stop making lead balloon, I don't know.

But he took me along to this little gig and it was like my first ever gig again. It was horrible. I couldn't, I just didn't know what to do. But of course it bit me again and I couldn't leave it at that. I couldn't leave it at not being able to do stand up. But I had to learn again. I was quite shocked at how you deteriorate as a comedian if you don't do it regularly.

On Jeremy Hardy, you once told me, could you just tell Rob this if he hasn't heard it. When you visited Jeremy Hardy and you told him about Sean Walsh, your podcast partner, Sean was going through a strictly debacle. And you visited Jeremy Hardy, who was in hospital with cancer. And you said, it's terrible about Sean Walsh, isn't it? And he said, Jack, there's problems. And then there's problems. I probably did. It's very hard to think of things to say, you know, he was pretty robust anyway. I remember I took him because he didn't know he couldn't drive. I took him to an appointment at the hospital and we walked into this ward,

take it of his chemotherapy and he introduced me. This is my friend Jack. He's here on work experience for when he gets cancer. It was like when Harry Hill phoned Sean Lock when Sean Lock was in a hospice and he said, what's it like? And Sean Lock said, the sex is incredible. Well, you know, it's that stuff that gets you through those moments, I guess. Go back to Sean Walsh slightly, because you do your podcast together about your dogs, but obviously your personal life comes up as well of what you're up to. Talking about you having that break of six years or so when your kids were older and

you wanted to see them and now they're at empty nest or whatever, you're back on the road and doing stuff. Sean is now right in the eye of the storm of he's got a two-year-old daughter, a baby that's due next month, and a dog and they're trying to move house. Yes. What's it like from the position of you've been there, done that and seen that, like, you know, chatting to him every day and watching him go through that. Do you offer him advice and talk to him about it? Honestly, one of the most enigmatic things about Sean Walsh is that he unless it relates to his dog Mildred, he very rarely talks about his child, his daughter. I'm always amazed how

little it comes into his talks endlessly about Mildred the cockapoo. It's a strange thing. And see, I talked to him every week, obviously, on the podcast, and I'm in touch with him. And I didn't even know that the next one was coming along next. I didn't know so soon. I just next one was coming along next. I didn't know it so soon. I just thought. So he doesn't talk about it. I think that's his way of coping.

Yeah, head down and plow on. What's it like? And I suppose this is a question for both mine and Rob's future. What's it like to kind of be in a relationship again with your wife where the kids aren't the center of it. Cool. That's heavy. I know. Sorry. I think that's telling us more about is everything okay at home, Josh? It gets better, Josh. I basically want you to tell them it's going to be okay.

Because obviously our whole life is like kids at the moment. And then you go out for dinner and you'll try not to talk about your kids or whatever. There's like a great episode of Outnumbered where they go out for dinner and all they do is talk about their kids. That's a brilliant episode. As they all are. It's just, I kind of imagine rattling around in the house and the kids have gone. One thing is that it happens gradually.

So I suppose you have time to adapt generally if, unless you just pack them all off to boarding school on the same day or something. And then I think that would cause its own crisis. I've seen Ivo's play. Let's put it that way. So I think that, you know, if the relationship is good in the first place, and if you've always made time for each other and those conversations when you've got the children, when they're not there, you can pick up from where you're, you know, carried on. But I'm sure you're quite right. If you've just spent your whole

life not really talking to each other, because you've got these kids in the middle, when they go, that agent that bonds you together is going to be missed in the relationship. And I can see why things can fall apart at that stage. Yeah, so as I feared. Yeah, yeah. It's potentially good news for Rose. She's only got another 15 years to put up with me. What's behind the Blue Cow Quality Milk logo?

Proud Canadian dairy farmers. Is Canadian milk produced to high standards? You bet. And what about sustainable farming practices? It's our commitment. We're behind the Blue Cow logo. Dairy farmers of Canada. Well, you'll do strictly properly once your youngest is at uni.

Straight into the fire. Because we're on a stage with young kids where it's like, oh, daddy, I want a hamster or strictly properly once your youngest is at uni. Straight into the fire. Cause we're on the stage with young kids where it's like, Oh, dad, I want a hamster or daddy can go to the park. Dad did that. And it's constant. Do this, do that. What are your kids ringing for you now? If at all, what's, is it very often? Is it just for a catch up? Is it dad, I need money or can you do this as a, you use like as a service provider? Obviously because it's a normal, healthy family, I don't get asked my opinion on anything.

Jane is constantly being referred to and she's on the phone to them all the time. Right. I'm not very good on the phone. My father, who's 94, is equally bad on the phone. So when I ring him, it's just so difficult to get a conversation going. It. It's partly my fault, but it's, I blame him as well, because I've got his jeans, but Jane is one of those people who, who, who's good at chatting, you know, she's good at conversations. I've got this theory that part of the reason we do what we do is we're better at

communicating with audiences than we are with individuals. So that's the thing I'm conscious of. And I'm always trying to sort of correct that balance. But yeah, so they're always talking. Look, on the negative side, their problems can get bigger and can get to the point where you just can't fix it for them. If you're one of kids coming home from school and I had a bad day because I, you know, I think I'm being bullied or something, you can help out. You can sort things out. You can beat up that kid.

You can do that. There's all these things for them on their behalf. But when they get bigger, that kid that's bullying your kid is frankly too big and you be putting yourself in danger. So you can't. And it's up to them. But one of our daughters is getting married this year. So there's a huge plan.

That takes up a lot of time. And it's all about seeing, I don't know, the rites of passage are kind of playing through our life. Now we're sort of seeing these quite sort of grown up things starting to happen and they're getting their own homes together. It's great thing. You know, this is funny when you go and visit your child in their house. And are you doing a speech at the wedding, Jack? Yes, I'm already kind of thinking how am I going to, I think I'm going to get a good 20 out of it or see what happens. The poor best man trying to do a speech and then you're there to do the father and the

bride. Look, it's one of those things where actually I hate doing speeches. There's even more pressure on you because I don't want to just make light of it and make a sort of turn it into a joke. And it's traditionally not not the father of a bride's job to make jokes, but it's going to be difficult not to. So are you good at sincere? I am often sincere, but people because they're not used to it think I'm just being sarcastic.

I've honestly I've done things, you know, like, you know, speeches and stuff where you go and say, and you start by saying, Oh, I'm really pleased to have been invited here. And people start laughing just because I've said, I just somehow don't manage to communicate sincerity when I'm talking. So it's something I have to work on. Did you get asked permission by the, um, son-in-law to be, or is that old school now asking permission? It is old school, but it's actually a son-in-law to be, or is that old school now, asking permission? It is old school, but it's actually our son-in-law to be

did speak to me and Jane first. And I like to think it's not asking permission, but it's a nod to the tradition. And it's a kind of respectful way of breaking that piece of news. And I did the same with my father-in-law. It wasn't depending on his consent, of course, at all. But I'm still always glad I did the same with my father-in-law. It wasn't depending on his consent, of course, at all. But I'm still always glad I did that because I think it's a respectful thing to

do and I think tradition can be very helpful in those things. Mason Higgins I think what's interesting about that though, Jack, is you did it to the father-in-law, but your son-in-law to be knows the power dynamics. I did it to both of you. He didn't feel just you would be enough. I was expecting a fireside chat where I could go through his finances with him. It was a very nice way to have done it that he chose. It's very touching and it's a very bonding thing to do. It's better than just saying, by the way, we're getting married.

It's a major thing, marriage, I think. It's a way to make people feel included in it all, rather than just like telling them without them knowing. Not permission, it's more just like a nice gesture, isn't it really? Cause I remember doing it and like, my mother-in-law was like, what do you mean you're meeting Rob for lunch at work?

Well, you're just gonna go for pizza together. And it was obvious what was going on. We had pizza and had a couple of beers and we talked about it. He was like, yeah, I'd love for you to get married and stuff like that. Ordered another beer. And then I was like, oh, you're going to tell Theresa, because you get to ringing him. He went, no, I'll give her another hour. Why spoil a nice evening? He never gets asked anything because he's got three daughters.

He never knows anything first. His moment. Yeah. So he milked it to be fair. Are you taking any part in the organizing of the wedding? Well I am in the I'm on tour and I'm saving up. I'm saving up so there'll be a couple of beers on the night. But yeah, so there's a quid behind the bar. I'm very happy to what I would I might casually call delegate what I really mean is step away and let them do it all. It's all about choosing wedding dresses and things like that. I don't need to be involved in all that. It's not my... you may be surprised to hear it's not my fault. You've always

been a man who likes a suit, Jack. Yeah, very well dressed. Yes, I like a suit and I've got a great place. I get my suits now. They're incredibly cheap, which is what I like about it. Where do you get your suit? They don't look cheap. Well, thank you, but I get them altered so that they fit properly. I've noticed that Keir Starmer, even though he was given these expensive suits by that bloke who was funding him, but his suit jackets, the sleeves,

come halfway down his hand in quite a lot of press shots you'll see. And that absolutely drives me nuts. You should see, why have you done that? You look like a teenager who's gone and bought something from a pound shop, it's awful. So you must always get it altered. And if you get an inexpensive suit, get it altered.

You've still got an inexpensive suit and it'll fit nicely. That's my tip. Great tip. I know this isn't really, I know it's interesting for people. I've never actually directly asked you this. There is a myth that your late agent and our late agent, he ran off the curb the company that you're in, and you were kind of one of his first big acts.

He would sign an act and then he would take them straight to a place called Mr. Eddie's that was a tailor's and put them in a suit. And is that true? Yes, that's right. Is it? It is absolutely true. It was called Eddie's. It's still there actually.

It's not called Eddie's anymore. It was taken over by his nephew. You get a suit made, which I thought was quite fun. We went in there. I remember when I went in there and there was one huge suit hanging up. Is it called Chris Kerr's now? Chris Kerr, yeah. Because I was in there once and there's loads of suits and photos from the 90s of all the

different Canadians in suits. Yeah, he's a brilliant tailor, brilliant tailor. But I went in there and there's this huge suit hanging up to be collected, you know, that's why it's on display. And then there was a really little suit, a little tiny suit. And I said, what, who are these for then? And he said, oh, this is a, this big one is for Robbie Coltrane. He hasn't come into Keddit yet. And I said, what, who are these for then? And he said, Oh, this is a, this big one is for Robbie Coltrane. He hasn't come into credit yet. And the other one is for the PG Tips chimpanzee. I said, based on that, I'll probably have a medium. So my first suit was made at the same place as the PG Tips chimpanzee. I don't know if you need to spend that much money on a chimpsuit, but there we go. Oh yeah, no, they've got good taste.

You know, fair enough, there was a lot of money in advertising, there still is. When you talk about delegating for the wedding, and that's not your skill set, organizing the wedding, apart from obviously being a brilliant comedian, what is your skill set in the family unit though? When would they come to, like Jane or the kids go, speak to dad about that? Where do you step up to? What's your role?

I'm very capable of cooking, taking over on the cooking front. And I like doing that. But I'm also aware that when you treat it somewhat as a rest and relaxation thing, and you come home after you've been away and touring and you fancy doing a bit of cooking, I do understand that that is pretty irritating for Jane,

when the kids were younger and she's constantly cooking. And then I come back and treat it as like, oh, it's my hobby, I'm going to do this. I it's, I just think he got on her nerves to be honest. I had to reign it in a bit. Enjoy yourself in the kitchen. Yeah, it's not fun. You know, none of this is fun. Sorry, my mistake.

Yeah, but it is. I can understand that now when I come home from tour, I don't know if you two are the same because I've been away so much. I've been in hotels or restaurants. I just want to stay in. I want to stay in and cook and not leave the house. But then obviously Lou and the kids are bored of the house. I want to get out. So let's just stay over there. Let's your ideal thing. That's to get an evening off is a bit of a treat, you know, and you think, oh, that's great. And you realize there's tele on in the evening that everyone watches and you get used to doing that again because we work the other end of the clock, isn't it?

But the good thing used to be that there was no one around in the day so you could get stuff down. But now people work from home slash don't work. It's fucking busy everywhere. The shops, I used to remember at Monday, we'd be desolate. Sometimes the kids come home, you walk downstairs and they've got the laptop on the kitchen table. And you know, you say morning and they go, shh, I'm on a call. Oh, sorry about that.

It made me though, because I remember my son Charlie when his first job he had, and he was working from home for this big multinational company. And he was stuck in his bedroom on the laptop all day. And I'm thinking, I'm paying for the Wi-Fi for this multinational company. That's not right. That is not right at all. So I think we have to sort of think about that.

And it's quite anti-social, isn't it? Everyone on laptops everywhere, especially in cafes and stuff. I just didn't like it on your nerves. Well, there's a gym cafe, there's people with full on headsets, laptop out in the gym clothes, they've done a session and they're not just like doing a bit of admin or sending a couple of emails. They're having full blown meetings. I heard this woman go, well, we've looked at your numbers

and if you can't contribute more to the business, we might have to let you go. You can't fucking sack someone on Zoom at David Lloyd. That was my agent talking to me actually. The days of the PG Tips soaks are gone Jack. I'll never get one again. Yeah, it is an irritation, isn't it? I actually, I would rather see people with their kids in a cafe than see people with a laptop in a cafe.

Yeah. They're being industrious and working when we all know they're not. I suppose another thing with like your kids being in their 20s and 30s is Christmas as the pendulum swung that you're now going to them for Christmas or are you still hosting? That hasn't happened yet, but this year Miles, one of my sons, he stated that we'd all be going to him for Christmas this coming year. I think it's quite unlikely to actually materialize that way. Why do you think it's unlikely?

Well, he hasn't yet got the flat that he said we'd have it in. it's really he's not quite there yet. There's quite a lot of us when we all get together. There's usually sort of nine or 10 of us. It's going to be quite a lot. If he does it, I would be absolutely delighted. It'd be great. And maybe one year it will happen. So no, it hasn't happened yet that we we get Christmas done for us. We're always doing that. And you're going to eventually because you've got four kids, eventually you'll be one of those touring, you know, the touring grandparents that kind of go from house to house, different Christmas each year. The other side of that is that you'll be, you know,

looking after grandchildren as well. We haven't got grandchildren yet, or at least none that I know of. well, we haven't got grandchildren yet. Or at least none that I know of. You can tell he's in a hotel room. He's on top. He's still firing from last night. Do you have a tour support? Yes, I do actually. Yeah, but it's Charlie Baker. So you don't want to spend any time with him. Sometimes it's Charlie. We've got Alex Kighley and sometimes it's Jake Lambert.

Oh yeah, great. It rotates. Annie Robinson does some. Oh, great guys. Yeah, they are. They were talking about being a grandparent, having grandchildren to look after. Well, that's it. Yeah.

So, and I've always thought I'm not going to be one of these uncalled grandparents. I'll let me look after them every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday so you can have a nice life. My parents never did that for me. I'm already quite a soft touch when it comes to looking after my daughter's dog, you see. So I absolutely love having her over. So I think if when it gets to grandchildren, I know I know I'm going to fold and be my thing.

Although if I get too many at once, then I'll just start going on tour again. You'll know what's happening. Do you see yourself as kind of a never retiring Ken Dodd figure? Cause I see Rob as that just to be clear. Just slowly, slowly smaller and smaller crowds on my own. Yeah. It's difficult because I don't understand how you can be a comedian and then stop being a comedian. You can't, I don't know what you do with all the stuff you think of.

And that would be the frustration. I could happily give up having to be hours in the car and travel all over the place so much. It's a very wary lifestyle. But the actual performing thing is just always a pleasure. It's a great thing to be able to do. And I love doing it. And I can't imagine, you know, deciding that that's it, I'm hanging up my microphone, that's I've done my last gig, not doing it anymore. Because if you think about comedy all day long, which we all do,

really, what am I gonna do? I'll put it in a notebook and then never see the light of day. But the whole point of being on stage is that those ideas come to fruition and you get that kick of having connected with an audience with a thought that you had that had never occurred to them and it makes them laugh. And that's one of the most rewarding things I can think of. That is a lovely speech that has made me so sincere. Just answered Yes, I am going to be a 90 year old Ken Dodd figure. You sincere bastard.

You can do sincerity Jack. He's getting ready for the wedding. I was sincere. It's pre-enticing. I was sincere, exactly. But the problem with the wedding is it's going to be a 20 minute speech about how much he loves stand up, which is going to be hugely misjudged. Yeah, the father, he just talked about himself for 20 minutes. It was, I enjoyed the chimp suit anecdote. That was good.

It didn't seem related, but it was good stuff. Yeah. I didn't expect him to be wearing it. Underneath the Robbie Coltrane one. That's more like it probably. Hi, this is Chris McCorsland. And this is Diane Buswell. And we've got a new podcast, haven't we, Diane? We do.

What's it called? Winning... Isn't... Everything. Every week me and Diane are going to be having a little catch up on the back here strictly, aren't we Di? We are. I've missed you Chris.

I've missed you too. We're going to talk some nonsense, so why not tune in? Available everywhere you get your podcasts. I don't know if we talked about this last time because it was about four or five years ago, but you were someone who had kids almost a bit younger than your peers or certainly you were a father when a lot of the kind of people that you were on the circuit with maybe Frank Skinner or David Baddiel or Joe Brand weren't parents. Did that feel weird or did you?

Yeah, because it pulls you away from the circuit. It certainly, I remember doing, we did Edinburgh a couple of years with babies. Yeah. And that is really, really hard work. And I became aware that, you know, when you've done the gig, you don't just go to the union bar or whatever it was where everyone was collecting.

You go back, because you've got a baby and you're going to be up early in the night, it'd be up in the night and early in the morning. And so your lifestyle changes. And I definitely noticed that I was, I drifted away from all the people that I was working with. I was contemporaries wise. I wasn't with them anymore.

I was out on my own a bit. We did start having children quite young, but I'm really glad now. Yeah. I mean, Frank Skinner's got a 12 year old now. How would you enjoy that? Well, 12, I think is an amazing age in many ways. I'm sure that he's enjoying that. I wouldn't want to start having, you know, babies now or something. I mean, just terrible, wouldn't it?

I mean, I'd love it if I found out that you had a baby on the way and getting you on the podcast when it was a year old. Not so much dog content these days, Jack. Now you've got a baby. Yeah. I think one, one go at it is good, but they're doing that second thing and, you know, in their late life, like the Rolling Stones or something, I just, I'm not that it probably impacts them that much.

Yeah. Al Pacino. Yeah. Well, he's doing night feeds in between pissing. It's unlikely. I've had seven pisses. I can't do a bottle. Come on. The world famous said, well, I've got to get out and change Al. You do both at the same time. Why don't we just all shit in the bed and then change it every morning? It's difficult. I just think sometimes it feels like you're chasing after something

other than becoming a parent again. You're sort of trying to redo your youth or something. Yeah. I can't help feeling. Do your kids come to watch you perform? Actually, I did a gig with you where we both, it was a tough gig for both of us and your son was in the audience. Yes, he was. Do they come to watch you perform? Is that in your head when they're there? It was early days, wasn't it?

It was the Bill Murray, which is a very small club in Islington, very small. It's only a 60 seater. So, Charlie was and his girlfriend were working in the city. And so I said, do you want to come along? Which is unlike me. I never do that, but I hadn't seen him for ages. I was a great chance to see him. He said, yeah, I'd love to. I said, it's just work in progress, but come along. Put his name on the door. And because he arrived late, the only two seats were

right in front of the stage. And it's a tiny, tiny room. It's honestly no bigger than a bedroom or something, is it? That room is with a load of sort of village Churchill chairs and stuff. And it wasn't an easy gig either. So it's quite difficult. It's quite a test actually to do it with him. But yeah, they've been coming since about 14 or 15. Any younger than that, I didn't let them come. Yeah. I didn't want them there. Does your son-in-law, was he aware of who Jack Dee was when he came into the family? And has he ever kind of brought that up with you?

I don't know, actually. It's an interesting question. I've never had that conversation with him. It's quite intimidating listening to parents in law anyway, I should think. Well, I know it is. You're aware that you're on best behavior. And I suppose if you have a preconceived idea of what that person would be like through social media or telly or something like that, that could possibly make the experience more difficult, especially as in real life, I'm not as friendly as I may appear on telly.

Jack, now your kids have got their own houses. Obviously you've been in charge of the rules in the house for years. So when you go and visit their house, are there new rules and what's it feel like to be the person being told what to do, rather than the one making the decisions? Jason Vale Well, apart from Miles, who's in the process. They've got their own flats now, but it's not the same as when you stay with them. The power dynamic is very different. If they come to stay with you, they pick up from where they left off. As far as they're concerned, it's their house. I wouldn't be surprised if Jane and I just move just to make the point, but it's not.

Are their bedrooms like a kind of like mine was? My parents moved when I was probably about 23, maybe a bit younger than that, maybe 21. But until then, it was like I'd come back and it's a time capsule of my teenage bedroom. Yeah, there is a bit of that. And we sort of did move her house when they were teenagers. So it's not like they've got Thomas the Tank Engine curtains and stuff that they come back to. It's not quite as bad as that. Although we still use their bed linen. Jane and I, because this is a dog thing, but our little dog sleeps on the bed with us. And we a long time ago realized it's much more comfortable

if you have single duvets on a double bed. Because all the kids had single duvet covers. And now I've still used their duvet covers, but we were, this is some about 12 years ago, we were trying to sell our house. The cleaning lady said, I'll change the sheets for you. And these people came and looked around the house and said they didn't think it was for them. And I went up to our bedroom and she had put a SpongeBob SquarePants duvet cover on my...

They just thought, oh, it's a bit tragic, you know, with all this mess. And do you think she was aware it was your house? Is she walking around with an anecdote? It'd be interesting to know, but if I wouldn't be surprised if someone out there doing a podcast about people's houses, I've looked around and what I found and one of the most alarming was Jack D's really strange episode of through the keyhole. Yeah. Very, very, very old sponge, Bob Squarepants, single duvet on a double bed?

Because two single duvets is against the norm, even though a share of a duvet is insane when you consider it for like eight hours a night. It is. You're fighting over a rag. For the rest of your life. You don't need that. You just sort it out early on. It's not that uncommon on the continent.

So I like to think on the continent. Well, that's an old phrase. The Jerry's. Yes. Our friends in the common market are very used to the single duvet. Imagine sharing a massive pillow. Yes, good point. It's a very, very good analogy. You wouldn't do that. Very long. So why would you share a duvet? It's much better. And then the dog can sleep in the middle. You've both got enough on top of you. And then when I get kicked out in the morning, because I wake too early, so Jane kicks me out and I can just take my duvet with me.

What? Sorry, we're gonna have to dig down into the timings here. Where do you get kicked out to? At what time? I very often, I'll wake up very early, about six or something. And then Jane, Jane complains that I'm doing things that annoy her, like, you know, breathing. And she's quite, she's quite intolerant of it. Basically, I take my duvet, I go downstairs and quite often the funny thing is I'll fall asleep. I'll fall asleep on the sofa with my duvet. And then she'll come in with a cup of tea about 8.30. But I wouldn't have gone back to sleep if I was in bed. I don't know what it is.

Yeah. And so have you considered, because I'd find a single duvet, even if we both had single duvets, I'm thinking it might be a bit small. Have you considered two bigger duvets? Have you ever slept with a double duvet on a single bed? You get swamped, it's overwhelming.

It's like being in a ball pit. It is, you can't put your leg out to cool off. There'll be a double duvet on a single bed? You get swamped, it's overwhelming, it's like being in a ball pit. It is, you can't put your leg out to cool off. There'd be so much duvet there, you'd get lost underneath them. You need something in between though, don't you, that just, the single's not quite enough for yourself. Yeah, for me, I think I need a duvet and a half. Do you know how Josh sleeps, Jack? How does he sleep?

Well, he shares a duvet with his wife, but then he gets the corner of the duvet, covers it all over his head. I sleep in my head under the duvet. Yeah, the only thing that's popping out is his nose. Really? Why is that? Was it a trauma or something? Yeah, I don't know Jack. Your guess is as good as mine. I find it cozy. Yeah. And it sends me right off to sleep. I find myself protected. I'm just under there in my own little cocoon. And one of the consequences is I can't wear woolly hats or beanies because it makes my ears hot, which makes me associate with sleep and go to sleep. How extraordinary is that?

There's a lot going on there, isn't there Jack? There is a lot. I can't, that's a whole podcast in itself, that is. I mean, do your children sleep a bit like that, Josh? Do they have the same habits? My daughter doesn't, but my son has started playing a game where we're waiting for Father Christmas, he's three, so we're waiting for Father Christmas to come. And we both go totally under the duvet at his best. I see right. So I don't know. That one's still up for grabs either way. But my

daughter doesn't sleep like that. Okay. She sleeps the opposite with a fan on. Oh, right. Like Wayne Rooney sleeps with a hoover on. You know, Wayne Rooney sleeps with a hairdryer on his face. Hairdryer, sorry. Why? Why? So it can distract him. I don't know the noise. It's the white noise, isn't it? And it caught fire once because he had it.

He normally has it on cool setting, but he put it on the hot setting and it caught fire because he has the hair dryer on laying on the bed face to his face. Oh my word. Why did we appoint him? Yeah, that's a very strange thing to do. It's probably a bit like that. Now you see people going around with prams and they've got those egg shaped things that make a white noise. Oh, for the baby? Yeah, obviously for the baby. Yeah. It's meant to replicate the noise of the womb. Have you seen

them? Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I do. We had a sheep that we put in the cot that makes a noise, you and the sheep. You and the sheep. Okay. But you've got to get to a point where you go, look, you've got to get over it. You're not in the womb anymore. Yeah, exactly. You've been born.

Get on with it. Get up the route. Grow up. Yeah. But then I also remember how desperate you are for your child to sleep. Yeah. If you do anything, you can't wait for them to be born and then they're born. You can't wait to go to sleep.

Can I ask a dog question, Jack? So you've got a little chihuahua, is that correct? So what's your view on dogs in prams? Oh, okay. Cause you've got the kind of dog you could put in a buggy. Yes, I have. Yeah. We have this thing, a backpack, uh, for when we go on longish walks in the country so that Dolly can go into that and it's specially made for a small dog. And that works very well. But then Jane said, I know I'm going to get a little pram for her. And so Jane bought this pram on Amazon

and put Dolly in the pram. And I went out and I said to her, you can't do this. I just can't let you, I can't let you become that person just yet. It's not yet. A, she doesn't need to be in one really. And B, you certainly don't need to be pushing that around looking, looking like a just a nutter really. But I also do know of dogs who benefit greatly because they're too big to go on your back and they still like to get out and about. So what's wrong with putting them in a little buggy and pushing them around? They can't walk anymore.

Well, if they get tired, they're old dogs and stuff. Why not do that? You can get them out and about. They can get out and do their business and then jump back in. It's quite nice. I think we overlook how when dogs get older, they can struggle a bit without you realizing it. What you're saying is you will eventually push that pram with a dog in. Eventually it'll happen. I just didn't want it to happen yet, you know what I mean?

I just saw my optician said you can have bifocals, you know, with a stripe along the middle of the glasses. Yeah. So I'm not ready for that yet. I know it would make sense, but I can't. Do you know what? I got advised, Jack, by my optician was going bigger type on my phone, which was a real slam. Wow. Have you

gone bigger type yet? Jack? No, I haven't know. Good work. Again, I'm a bit embarrassed to do that. It's pathetic. I think when someone's bigger type, I think I just think, do you know what? fucking had to dig the test. Let's believe the name is unfair unfair but the biggest type I've ever seen I am talking two letters per screen it was fucking meant it was like you know and people like put that right of like something on their phone that then scrolls along like free beer or whatever it's like that she was trying to do an email and I reckon I could have read all of her email from a mile behind her. Wow yeah yeah. Jack I'm gonna Steve Wright rest in peace your tour dates I normally do this but

the amount of tour dates you've got is and I'm gonna say fucking insane. It is I mean I've never, I haven't counted them. And I've never, I've never thought, is there a point going through all the difficult bit of getting an act together and then only doing 25 shows? I don't see the point. I totally agree. So if it's the only thing you're doing,

you're only doing two, three or four a week, and then it's just all year. And it's just called going to work. It is exactly. I don't like to get this when people go, you're doing so many, I don't go, you're working at that company in an office now. I'm going to go through your dates.

You've got fucking hell. Monday to Friday, next week, London. Monday to Friday, the next week, London. To be honest, I didn't mean it as a criticism because I've got loads and I have this same conversation. Rob's got loads. But when you're reading the map, so you can count them as you go, Jack. I'm going to run through.

Go and see Jack Deeks is incredible in Exeter, Northampton, Leicester, Canterbury, Basingstoke on Valentine's Day sold out. You've missed three months. Yeah, I know. Well, this is the website I'm on has just started on today. Eastbourne, Melbourne, Newtown, Newtown is where Joe Norris is going to come and see you and you're going to die in your ass. Lynethleigh, Cardiff, Lowestoft, Ipswich, Ramsgate, Nottingham, Stevenage, Lincoln, Milton Keynes, Yeovil, Western Supermaeor, Bristol, Portsmouth, Birmingham, St Albans, Douglas, Dunfermline, Edinburgh, Aberdeen, Inverness, Dundee, Glasgow, Norwich, Brighton, Hastings. I'm bored listening to this.

I'm just freaking you out. There's more. Euronian Junejack, Southampton, Dunstall, Buxton, Leeds, Blackpool, Durham, Chesterfield, Peterborough, Kings Lynn, Bromley, Southend, Swindon, Isle of Wight, Chatham, Cambridge, High Wycombe, Aylesbury, London, Wolverhampton, Stockport, Newcastle, Harrogate, Chester, Coventry, York, Liverpool, Belfast, Dublin, Salford, Shrewsbury, Crewe, Woking, Croydon, Oxford, and finishing with the big one, Shrewsbury. Yeah.

Yeah. How big's this wedding? Yeah, it's gonna be a nice one, I think. But as you already say, you know, it's what we do. It's not like I'm fitting it in between jobs or something. It's what I do. So I never even look really, and I'll be adding more next year, I think. it in between jobs or something. It's what I do. So I never even look really. And I'll be adding more next year, I think.

I hope I will. Because you've got three more kids. Yeah, exactly. Got more weddings to deal with and do the Middle East. I was going to go and do Australia, New Zealand this year, but I couldn't fit it in and hopefully do that next year. So it's great. I just think I've worked and obviously you have as well.

You work to get to a position where you can just go around and fill a theatre and then you can turn up and do whatever you want in it. And you've like earned a couple of quid and then done your jokes and got the buzz out of doing them and then you go home. That's the point of all the other work. Exactly. Everyone has a job. We're so lucky that people are generally very nice to us about what we do.

It'd be unusual for someone to go up to a cashier and say, do you know what, you've done a really great job. Thank you for helping me with my shopping today. It doesn't happen like that. And we get lots of praise. I just think comedians who complain about their job should just be whipped or something. Just, you know, totally. Yeah, a million percent. Fully in favor of that whipping. But I think also as well though, like we all love doing stand up.

There's lots of people that do stand up because they don't mind it, but there is a differentiation. There's some people that do it because, oh yeah, I probably should do a tour. And then like, I would be doing it anyway. You know what I mean? To go into like the white shark spots and stuff. It's exactly what I would always want to do. I'd always want to have a go at it. And yes, you're right.

There are some people who do it because they feel they ought to and be seen and get other stuff out of it. How do you deal with it though, when like, do you ever get to a point now because you're so experienced and you're so good on a place bucket, you're so good and a hero of mine and Josh's. I'd like to speak for myself on that. I respect him. I respect him. I respect him at what he does. For his era, he was solid. Oh, it's like that, isn't it? The messy maradona in the boat.

What an epitaph. Do you get to a point where you can't be bothered? Like, when you've been in the middle of a long tour, or is it always exciting? Or how do you get up for it when you feel a bit forlorn? I think I rely on that moment when it's, you know, you've got five minutes and then you're going to be on. I rely on getting into the zone. And I very often will kickstart myself

with thinking of something I'm going to open with other than my usual line or a line that I'm going to put in. I know I'm going to put I'm going to do this instead of that tonight. Yeah. And that that gives me that sort of tension that is so useful, isn't it? Because there's no doubt, once you're on show number 65 or something, you're not as nervous. And your performance can sometimes miss that. It needs that energy, doesn't it? It does need the energy.

You need to feel it every time you step on stage. It's a mistake if you don't. People say, well, what's it like if you die on stage or something? Well, it's not about that really. It's about whether you die inside when you're on stage. And that's the most painful thing. Even the audience could be laughing and you're just thinking, I'm phoning this in, I'm not having a good time and I should be doing more than this. Will Barron And if you're not a little bit nervous and you don't really care, because there's plenty of jobs I've done where I'm no nerves at all in the sack, because I don't give a shit. But to have that little excitement in your

belly means, Oh, actually I care about this and want it to go well. Exactly. You're not, you're not down the pub with your friends. It's people who have paid to see you at your best. And that's what you've got to remember. And that's what you need to get yourself in the frame for. Exactly. You're not just chatting away any old shit on a podcast. This has got to actually be good. Yeah, exactly. It's got to be thoughtful and clever.

You can practice being sincere in it at all for the wedding or are you doing that in your private time? You're not doing that on stage. I'm going to have tutoring, I think, on that one. Like when people have a wedding dance tutor. Keep supporting live comedy. Just say that at the end and that'll be a sincere message. It's a great club. Come out and support it because they have some great people down here

at this village hall. I think I'll do the wedding on a bit like a free fringe, you see. So I'll do 20 minutes and then people can donate whatever they think is appropriate. See if I'll pay for some of the beer. It's quite expensive to come up here too. you know, we've got accommodation, we've got everyone's paid for a meal. It's dangerous out there because if you're really shit, if they pay what they think it's worth, they might take a fiver out of the bucket.

Actually I think I deserve. Yeah, wouldn't be the first time. Jack, it's been a joy. What is your tour called? It's called Small World. It's at the bottom. Small World World Tour 2025. Join the newsletter for tour updates. Rob's here. I'm going to sign him up right now.

Yeah, do that. And which of those dates are you least looking forward to? Well, I don't think there's anyone I'm not looking forward to. I've actually had a good time because there have been towns I've gone back to this year already that I previously thought I'm never going back there. But actually, it's always been because I didn't like the venue. You know, you change venue and it's not a town at all. Sometimes it really is just a venue. I'm very loathe to blame the audience ever. I always think it's something I could have done different that would have made that better. And the day of the week makes a difference to a town or a place. It can make a difference. It really can.

It's like a Tuesday night. Yeah. I'm looking forward to tonight's gig in Exeter, as you can imagine. Monday night. It'll be great. If people are up for it and have bought tickets to come out, I'm confident they'll be good. Yeah, no defo. And if you are listening and you're into kind of spreadsheets, plot Jack's tour dates now with his previous tours and see which venues he's changed within the same city to see which venues he thought was a bad gig. Your challenge. There's definitely a couple of venues I'm like, that's definitely a smaller room.

I mean, Jack could have sold that bigger room. You won't have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure that one out. Yeah, I like the Princess Theatre in Torquay and the Nottingham Pond. I also like that one, I've got to say it wasn't that but um... Jack is always a pleasure. Good to see you. Good to speak to you both. Oh, quite like you've said it's a pleasure for you as well, but that's fine. Yeah, it's good to see you as well. Cheers Jack. Thanks so much.

All right. See you. Bye. Jack D. Love Jack D. He's a wonderful man. Did I go in too hard? That's when you're familiar with someone, isn't it? He didn't go in too hard. I love Jack. I look up to Jack. I respect Jack. Mentor's not the right word, but he's someone I look at their career and the way they've operated. Similar to like Jonathan Ross as well, where I go, oh, that's how I'd like to operate my career. You'll be canceled way before the point Jack's had now though, Rob.

Well, my plan is to, at the end of this tour, which finishes next year, sort of early 2026, have a long break from stand up because my children will be... Too embarrassed by your sets. No, they'll be 10 and 8. I'm sorry, I've got that all wrong. And then if I have five years off, then by the time they're bored of me when they're teenage, I can go back on tour again. Yeah.

I'm going to do a Jack D, Gabriel. Shall I run you through the dates one more time, Rob? Yeah, if you have to. Thanks for listening, guys. Exit Corn Exchange, Northampton, Leicester, Canterbury, Basingstoke, Eastbourne. People know how to use the internet. I'm going to go. Bye guys. Hi, this is Chris McCorsland.

And this is Diane Buswell. And we've got a new podcast, haven't we, Di? We do. What's it called? Winning. Isn't. Everything. Every week, me and Diane, we're going to be having a little catch up on the back here

strictly, aren't we, Di? We are. I've missed you, Chris. I've missed you too. We're going to talk some nonsense, so why not tune in? Available everywhere you get your podcasts.