Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - ⚽ You Get What You De Zerbi ⚽

Episode Date: October 26, 2026

We're on a short break for half-term so you'll have to excuse the lack of topical football reactions from this weekends results. In the meantime we go through some of your lovely listener correspondence and discuss the 'String Bean 11', the worst football merch tat you've ever bought, and is the Ballon d'or a load of crap? Enjoy! If you want to get in touch with the show you can; Email us: [e-mail] And follow us on Instagram and Tiktok: @footballinghell FPL team -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ join the Footballing / Parenting Hell mini league ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ LEAGUE CODE: 1a5fc7 Leave us a 5* review and subscribe to the podcast please. You know the score by now. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Footballing Hell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Monday (don't worry - it's business as usual on Tuesday and Friday with the usual Parenting Hell episodes) A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, Intact Insurance. Hello, this is Football in Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Whittlecone. You're fucking kidding me. That is a brummy. So can we hear it again? Rob Beckett and Josh Whittlecone. Is he joking?

He's doing it as banter, I think. You better be. Otherwise, I'm going to knock his bloody block off. We had Jack Gruellyish before. Who did I guess last time? Tyrone Mings? You can't just keep guessing Tyrone Mings hoping to get it. Mrs. Ming's is around.

Mrs. Ming's, oh, it's a horrible surname for her in it. He's, isn't it? Are you going to take his name? No, I'm fucking not. It's not Tyrone Mings, no. Which is swift becoming Michael's catchphrase. I'd rather keep my maiden name, Rotter. How many times did you expect this year to say it's not Tyrone Mings, Michael?

Because it's more than you'd anticipate it. It's not D-on Dublin, is it? Oh, no, it's not D-on-Dublin, I reckon. guys his voice. Right, I need a clue. That's too hard. I love this game. Can I just say I love this game? But also, I love this feeling of not knowing but about to know more than actually knowing. Can we sit in it for a bit? I need to do some research on Tyrone and Ming's. Let's find out if he's married. You can't take Ming's as your surname. I mean, I don't think this has ever been Googled before. Is Tyree? Tyrone. Mrs. Mins. Mrs. Minss. Poor woman.

He's not married, though he's kept his personal life very private. He's a long-term relationship with the British singer Frankie Rose formerly of the girl group M.O. She's called Frankie Rose Mings on Instagram. Oh, is she? Oh, right. Yeah, you'd have to go Rose Mings. Rose Mings sounds all right, but just Frankie Mings. It's not being called Charlie Stinks.

Mrs. Stings. So she's gone for Frankie Rose Mings. Michael, I don't know what this would be weird. Could you DM Frankie Rose Mings and ask her if she could do a voice? voice memo with Tyrone Mings. I'm definitely not doing that. I'll try and get to her a different way. You can do it from the footballing hell.

Yeah, Michael, put a bit of a fucking effort in. Not WhatsApp, Instagram. I thought you meant me personally. Her getting a DM from an account that hasn't posted in eight years. With no face. With no face. Just the AI bicep. If anyone's got any access to the Mingzies, let us know.

Do you know what, Michael? I don't want to come out and say this, but... I think I'll have a lot of go at me and Rob. But you've got to say it starts, I'm going to go full Lissandrae Martiners on this. Jason Wilcox would definitely DM Tyro Mings as well. Not in that way, not in that way. I'm not in the casting aspersions on it. You're saying he's tapping up Mings?

You say he's got his grubby little winger things on Mings? From a minger to a winger, he'd say. He'd try and tap up Tyro Mings, but he'd end up tapping up some inferior Aston Villan Defender. His wife. I'm going to play it one more time to refresh your memories. Beckett and Josh Whittlecombe. And that's definitely not Tyro Minks because it sounds exactly like him.

He's about 45.50, this guy. Yeah. The fuck was that? That was my weekly screen report, sorry. You've got a screen report? It just comes up on my laptop if I'm on at this point, and I don't know why, how to turn it off. You're always on.

Always on. Okay, first clue. You won't get it from this, but just a little bit of texture and context. I might. All right. I was born 5th of December, 1965, in Rowley Regis, England. Could you at least give us where Rowley Regis is?

West Midlands. West Midlands. So he's 60. He's 60 years of age. 60 years of age. Who played for Birmingham? They were playing in the mid-80s to the mid-90s. Oh, it's a bit old for me.

Is it Steve Ball? Incorrect. Oh, that's a great guess, though. Bullies even more black country. He's so thick. Yeah, yes. As in his accent, not his intention. I'm back.

Shots fired. Not the ball. I don't want Tom Parry coming after me. Steve, but Michael needs... Fucking idiot. Oh, thick as shit.

Barely fucking speak the geeseer. Great finisher, though. But, oh my God. You give him a shopping list, leave him in a shop. It'll never come out. Just up and down, up and down,

staring at all the shapes. This is my era. I should get this. I began my career at West from it shall be. Steve Ball, who's back in the game. Starting as an apprentice in 1983. In 1989, I signed for Sheffield Wednesday for £750,000.

I know who it is. Do I? How? I think I know who it is. Kevin Pressman? No. I think I've got it. Go on. It's Colton Palmer.

Correct. Take a bow, soul. It had his voice. The moment you're like that is Carlton Palmer's voice. He's great value on football podcasts. Have you seen some of his stories? He's wild, didn't he? It doesn't give a shit.

Well done, Josh. Was there other clues? I was just going to go through his career on Wikipedia. Right, fair enough, okay. In 1994, Howard Wilkinson signed me for 2.6 million? No, that'd have been a good one. England? Would you have gone with England?

I reckon I might have got him from the... I was trying to work out he plays for Leeds. Clue 4, I probably would have said all of his England caps came under Graham Taylor. Also, he veers into the territory of massive bastard. He does, doesn't he? Gangly massive bastard. Well, ganglety's a bit unfair, isn't it? That's a bit hard. I think if Carlin Palmer is one thing, it's gangly. Is there a subsection of massive bastards that's not gangly, it's almost like Thunderbirdy?

Stringbeen. You know, string beans? String bean bastards. The string bean 11? I'll give you one. Patrick Vieira. String bean bastard. Viera and Palmer. Yaiator, he's got a bit, no, he's quite solid. Peter Crouch up front. He just... He's a string bean bastard. You're right.

We've sorted out the central midfield, Palmer and... Davida Heer. Davida Heyer in goal. He was quite gaugly. He's a string bean bastard, yeah. With the wide players, isn't it? Havert's gang, string bean bastard. Do you remember Ian Ormondroid?

Rob, you're not going to remember Ian Ormondroid. I don't know how, because we're the same age. I don't know why... I swear you were like Nicholas Lindurst. You went back in time to watch the... You know what? Nicholas Lindurst, he wouldn't be bad for our string bean 11. Bellboy little shit.

Google Ian Ormondroid, Rob. Have a look at him. Ian Amdroid. Ormondroid. O-R-M-O-N-D. D-R-O-D. Go to Google Images. Ian Ormond-Dron.

Oh, yeah. His face would get in as a string-beam bastard. Long boy, isn't he? Yes, he's the poster boy for it. I don't remember him playing, but I had him as a sticker, and I remember vividly him being... He's definitely in the string beam... Any more string-been bastardsers, let's send them in.

We've got massive bastards. little shits and also I was trying to think a name of it I can't work out of the name but you know like footballers that you watch that you think deep down

don't care if they win or not oh yeah that's good a bit of a Jimmy Bullard Jack Greelish you know those players that sort of float around Ben White yeah there's a football

that didn't like football who played under Harry Ray Ray S.O. Okoto yeah that's it yeah I don't know what we're going to call those how do you get in that position David Batty David Batty famously

David Bentley David Bentley Yeah. Don't really care. They don't really care. Don't really cares. Hi, Rob and Josh. I thought I'd bring this to your attention.

Apparently there's a big shift happening in the changing rooms of pro football teams right now. Yes, please. This is what we want to hear. This is from a recent podcast featuring German pundit and ex-player Chris Kramer. Never heard of me. He was in the Germany squad that won the World Cup in 2014. All right.

Shire left. Should know him. Back then, we all showered naked. Have either of you heard of Chris Kramer? I thought he was in Seinfeld. Michael, have you heard of him? No, no idea. Who knows.

I mean, it's mad. He's got a World Cup medal, isn't it? Yeah. Do you get one to just being in the squad? Even if you don't play? Yeah, yeah,

you've got to get one for the whole squad, surely. He said, apparently, back then, everyone showered naked. Yeah. Now, at least 80%

shower wearing boxer shorts. No. It really is a generational thing. Towards the end of my career, when 12 men were showing at the same time, two of them were naked, and they were usually over 30.

Yeah, I thought everyone showered naked. I personally, don't shower naked in front of it. I hate... No, no, neither do I. But I thought if you're a footballer... I wouldn't want...

I think I'd wear shorts. I don't want to see everyone's cock. I don't want them to see my cock. I don't like it. I don't want to shower with loads of men naked. Is that okay? But I just thought if you're a footballer, you were so used to it. The bath they used to have is mental.

Oh. Don't want someone's knob to float onto my leg. That's fine. You can say that. It's not going to become disconnected. I don't know. You've seen some of them. Some of them, I reckon.

Imagine the string beaders. In an ormond droid. You're climbing out. The almond droids coming to for you. Like, a shark. We should caveat, Josh, that we are filming this in advance because it's half term and we're not going to be able to do a reactionary one. So if there's huge football news that have happened, apologies.

Should we just pocket some reactions? I'm going to give you some events and I just want your reaction. Okay, go on. Man, you've sacked my. Carrick. Shame if it was a great manager. He deserved more time. I found it mad that Jason Wilcox has appointed himself as the new manager.

Bold move and he's put Martinez as a captain in up front. But can't wait to tune in for Super Sunday. Man City have admitted, you're right. It was a fair cop. It's a fair cop. Yeah, fair play, actually. They burst all the bananas and they took the hit. Yeah.

I can't believe Tottenham won 3-0. Benton Corr's got a hat trick and then Deserby sucked him off in the middle of the changing room. You get what you deserve. You get what you deserve. You get what you deserve. That's what he says. His flat is coming.

You get what you deserve it. You can't always get what you want. Sometimes you get what you're... No, need... No, I fuck that. The pun doesn't exist now. There's the words need. The thought of the top of the players coming in

after every win and him looking around the players going, who's getting a kiss now? Who's about to get what he does? deserbies. Who deserbys one of these? One of these smackers. People are pulling out of challenges so they don't get gobbled up by Deserbe in the dressing room.

It's a 50-50 year. I think I'll leave it. You're going to have that little goatey rubbing my chin. Okay, so we've covered that. We've covered that. Hi, Robert Josh Michael. Loving the podcast, a long-time listener of both. Started in the Netherlands during COVID with one child.

Now relocated to Denmark to work for Lego with two kids. Anyway, one massive bastard for you. Jan Collar. Oh yes, he was a massive bastard He was so good on pro-evo Do you remember him on pro-evo? Yes, he's a Czech guy, yeah? Yeah, played for Dortmund.

Yeah, oh, that's my era. When people say, what do you remember? Yang Colla's my era. He's easy to get him confused with another massive bastard of the time who was Karsten Yanker. Yeah, but Yang Kolar was six for eight. Yeah, Yankov was massive, but Kast and Yanker,

Kast and Yanker kind of represented this period on Germany with total shit, so they had to have cast in the anchor up front. It was six foot four. So who did he play for Bruce of Dortmund? Jan Colla did, I think, for a bit. He played for Bionnuch was his big club, Yanker, and then he moved around Italy.

Oh, Yanker, but what about... Colla played for Dortmund, under 38 appearances, 59 goals, then went to Monaco, then Nuremberg, bit of Andelect. But yeah, he was an absolute whopper of a guy. Wow. Oh, there's a photo of him with Peter Crouch having a big massive bastard photo.

Oh, really? They played in a charity game together. Pop him in the team. Pop him in the team. He was a massive bastard. But also of Crouchy is obviously now in the string being 11. Yeah, maybe Crouch has been moved to the string being 11. He's out of me.

He's not a massive bastard. Massive bastard. No. This is this is a massive bastard. Stig Tofting. I was going to say Stig Ingeby, Orneby, he's not a massive bastard. Stig tofting. He looks like an absolute brute.

Oh my God. Look at him. I don't know if he's big enough. He's only 5 foot 9. He's little shits. Stig tofting. He's little shits. They call him the lawnmower.

because I think he just hacked people down in. I love him. Look him. He's got absolutely no neck. Okay. I can't say nothing. People in glass houses. Shakiri is a bit of a Shakiri build, didn't he?

Oh, Shakiri is an incredible shape, isn't he? Shakiri is like no other footballer. He's got the square his shoulders. He's built like kind of incredibly hard fallback from the kind of 80s, 90s. But he's mad, it's mad, but he's so stocky and brawled. He's so stocky. I still think I'd look like Shakiri if I actually got in shape. Like, that's how my body would go.

I cannot get narrower. I've got such massive shoulders. But obviously, I don't look like that because I'm not in shape. But I think I'm one of them people where I can, I don't think Shakiri can get lean. He's just either overweight or massive. Yeah. It's a human chode. What's a chode?

Chode, something as wide as it is long. Is it? I know what Chowder's? No. Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Shop online and get the same low, No Frills prices delivered. Get your first year of PC Express Pass for just $2.50 a month. Learn more at no frills.ca.

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I exam's provided by independent optometrists. Contact your local spec savers for details. Okay. Irrational team rivalry, Josh? Yeah. I understand when kids pick things based on the color of their football team. However, my 37-year-old partner supports Aberdeen and simply must have red things and refuses anything green or blue. Oh, that's so difficult.

I think this is very pathetic. Also, they're not even your rivals, Aberdeen. You haven't won the league since the early 80s. You last run the league on Alex Ferguson was the manager. Rangers and Celtic and not your rivals. This even extends to the colour of his toothbrush. Oh my God. It often ends up with a pink or purple toothbrush if there are no red ones in the shop.

He once got ginger vitus but didn't get it treated because he enjoyed seeing the red blood in the sink. No. I'm joking. I'll make that up. Also, one of Aberdeen's nicknames is the dandies. Are they the dons? They're the dons, aren't they? Why are they called the dandies?

What, so he won't read the beano? He reads the dandy, it was. Can you find out why they're called the dandies, Michael, please? There's a few interesting not nicknames in Scotland. Hibs are called the cabbage. Are they? My favourite is Brecken City, aka the Hedgemen, as there is a hedge running around the length of the touch lie.

Thanks a laugh. Thanks a laugh, and I'm fairly curious about footy, especially English football. I'm still enjoying the bans, Rosie from Aberdeen. I get not one in green or blue stuff but making it red's a bit much, isn't it? I don't even get nor in green or blue stuff. And I'd say you are more drawn to green than white though than you are red.

I never see you in red really. Yeah, but that's because of my skin tone. Oh, there is a hedge right on the end of the stadium at Brecken. Is that? Looks just that someone's fancy garden. Oh my God. This is the best pitch I've ever seen. I'm actually attracted to it.

So up in Brecken City. Oh, wow. Look at that hedge. Yeah, but look at the actual pitch as well. That mowing? July 2019. So where is there? hedge. It actually looks a bit like an

asshole. So the hedge is on the right hand side? We've got to go. Where is Brecken? You ain't going there.

It's miles away. I'd love to go to that. Brecken. No offence. I'm not going to Brecken to look at a hedge. That's mental.

So I'm currently in Cornwall as this is being recorded. I mean, what's that? It's in between Edinburgh and Aberdeen. 12 hour drive. I could be there by

946 this evening. Well, you can't if you've got an electric car you'll have to stop for half an hour to recharge. Oh my God. Brechin is

is halfway. between Glasgow and Aberdeen. It's actually closer to Aberdeen. It's so far north. I think just stick to the Google image. And what shirt are you wearing today, by the way? I'm wearing St. Paulie today. Oh, a little hipster one.

Show us. I can't really see it properly. Can you stand up? It's brown and white. Ah, okay. What are you wearing? Sunderland? No, this is an Olympiacos

100 years anniversary shirt. I remember you celebrating that, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We went out with smashing plates. had a couple of dolmers and you Fletch and Simon Jordan done a big yamas you sound like Simon Jordan

still didn't know his name yeah yeah smashing plates dancing Stavroff slightly came out I think is this that veering on the races just any Greek things I can think of I went to a Greek night on holiday they smashed plates that's fine

that is a thing they do isn't it I mean I don't know what they just do it for tourists if I'm honest yeah I think they might have done it years ago I think it's probably a bit like Morris dancers yeah I see it at events, but it's not part of my sort of culture and upbringing and history of...

All mine and I live in Devon. We've got like a little local magazine that gets sent out to like the area, like the villagey area. Yeah. And there was a local guy on it that had a whole body painted green dressed as a Morris dance and it's some sort of tradition. That's a bit weird. Green face paint. Morris, the answer. Some board a Morris dance goes to switch from traditional black paint face paint, oh God.

To green to avoid... Oh, that's better? Yeah. So they're still sort of doing this sort of cultural thing of painting their face, but they've gone green instead of black. Is that good? That's good. That's good.

That's better. That's good. That's better. That's better. That's good. That's good. That's progression. Although the Aberdeen fan wouldn't like it.

He'd actually prefer the other option because it's not green like Celtic. He'd have to go red. It'd go red. Yeah, you're just looking embarrassed all the time. But if you're Morris dancing, you probably are. Okay, what we've got next, Rob. Right. worst football merch or memorabilia you own

I told you I've got a Snickers France 1990-98 World Cup watch Oh nice lovely Do you want to see it? Have I showed it to you? I don't know I can go and get it You'll love this And then I'll read out the email

Should we have a bet Michael on where he got it Do you think it's eBay? 100% eBay Should we put a price on it? I think six quid I think a little bit more 25 No that's too much

I'm going to say with postage 14 and I'm basing on tat World Cup tat that I've bought recently it's brand new we were just discussing did you buy it on eBay?

Yeah and we were discussing how much oh my God just got a box Yeah you like that That is nice You can watch it on the video Snickers

Is it back to front on there? No It's never been worn You mean there wasn't someone That was wearing a Snickers France 98 World Cup watch But it hasn't even got the film remove thing

oh wow it's nicer than I expected I mean it's not it's naff as hell can you see it like that see yeah I've fucking zoomed on that well good the stop art is still in the uh that is I mean that is a thing

so you can see snickers in the middle with the logo at the bottom touch a glass roll how much should you spend on it I don't think it's about 40 quid more than we expected I'd actually wear that out should I start wearing it

no why not because he's unworn it can only go up in value. I don't think I paid a lot for it. I've got an Italian-90 swatch, but I'm not at home. He's got Mars-1996 written on the back. Are you aware of the

Italian-90 cars, Rob? I didn't know about Italian-Cos. France-98 is more my World Cup that I got obsessed with... Because you're 98-7, you were born. 86. I'm a bit younger than you, old heads. Rob, Google, Italian-90, Fiat. How many of their own existence,

Michael, you know about this, don't you? I check it, Ponson. Oh, my God. That's my dream car. The classic football shirts guy. I've got one, I think. I think one of the owners or someone who worked there bought it in Italy and drove it back to the UK as a sort of pilgrimage. It's the Italian-in-Fiat Panda.

I've never been more jealous of a car in my life. Do you drive? Nope. You've got to get one. It's just stick out of the drive. They're impossible to find it. I've got a lot of alerts set up on auto-trader and all those websites. Rob, look at the wheels.

Look at the wheels. Well, there's a YouTube video of a guy that had it's fully restored. What's on? Oh my God, the wheels are footballs. Yeah. And they've got the logo on the front. Oh, my God. The problem is the body, the chassis of those cars was so shit.

They've just all rusted away and died, like, in the subsequent decades. Oh, my God. If anyone drives one of them, let me know. Yeah, and if anyone wants to sell one, I will buy it. I've just put a picture on the WhatsApp group talking about your France 98 watch, Rob. This is the T-shirt that I would genuinely am wearing a Franz 98 Coup de Montt T-shirt. Oh, France-98, Coup de Mont. Love it.

I'll say how much my Snickers. watches. I mean, who's going to buy it? Send in your bids. Rob will sign it. Oh, they're up to 100 quid now, brand new ones. Do you know what? Better to put your money in Snickers watches than bricks these days. Now all I want to do is just go on eBay and buy a lot more stuff for France. It's an addiction. It's an addiction.

Hello, gents. Listen to your chat about the pathetic yet pricey piece of old Trafford turf. Made me think about the worst stupid and most terrible football related item I have bought. I have many boring football autobiographies and worse being a tough choice between Theo Walker got an Alan Smith. Some terrible handmade models of Ian Wright and Martin Hayes, faded team marks, football cushions that have been relegated to the basement in a bin bag. The model of Martin Hayes is hell of a thing. He wasn't even a big player.

No. Egregious is a key ring. This is no orderly key ring. It's a weighty, fake gold number in the cumbersome shape of the Emirates Stadium. With the pitch being a piece of match-worn shirt from the house. handsome striker Olivier Giroux from a game against Leicester in 2017. It's horrible. They cut up hundreds of tiny little rectangles from his shirt,

glued them to the key ring as the pitch, and then charged 100 pounds. Oh my God. For this esteemed rarity. Obviously, I wasn't stupid enough to buy this initially, but I was stupid enough to grab it at the discounted price of only 50 pounds. Literally two weeks later, Olivier Jiru joined Chelsea.

That means that it's a limited edition thing. Yeah, but he's just got a Chelsea player shirt. I know, I know. And months to later, he scored against Arsenal in the Europa League final and later went on to the Champions League for our heated rivals. Hated rivals. At this point, it became clear the key ring was cursed, so I threw it out.

Things have steadily got much better for Arsenal and much worse for Chelsea since then. So I feel vindicated. I've attached some pictures I found online and I'm interested in the worst took the lads have bought. There we go. it is awful because it's like the shirt it's like a random bit it's a bit white a bit red

yeah because it's not pitch coloured no and also the immigrant stadium is such an uninspiring shape it just looks like a general pendant that you'd put a photo of like a dead nan in I think we should not the nan dead but the nan yeah yeah yeah yeah of course cool just checking just a little eye or a little eye shut

laying down to the police while you're dealing with the crime scene Could you just, can you print me off one of those photos, please? Yeah, sling me the JPEG, will you? I can get there in time. But if the old Bill are still there, if they can snap a quick one and send it on... Actually, don't put it on WhatsApp because they'll compress it.

If they could then attach it as an email, it'd be a better quality for the pendant. I think an email should be not who's got the most an inspiring stadium, because then you'll just get fans slag of other fans. I want emails from fans saying, I think my team has the most uninspiring stadium. Or the worst bit of your stadium.

Yeah. So not the hedge. The hedge is the best. We want that. The least characterful stadiums. Well, a good example of that is, this is from my time

listening to David Earle's football podcast. The Exeter's Gap at their stadium. Oh, so the houses can watch. There's no space to build a stand. So that to build a little, have you not seen it? Yeah, yeah, I've been there. But it's a massive gap.

Where? Google Exeter City Stadium. Yeah. There's a bit of land that they don't own and then there's a massive gap in the stands. You sure? I'm not talking about a call, like the whole like the lengthways bit of the stadium.

There's a gap. Oh yeah, there is at the end. They should have a full stadium for that club size. You know what I mean? They don't own that bit of land or something. So they can only build half a stand. So at the end, at the other end, I'm looking at a picture. Yeah.

There's some houses in Exeter that can see the pitch and you would see people in the windows watching the matches. Did you go and watch Exeter then when you was at uni there? Right, I wasn't a uni in Exeter. Why do you keep going to Exeter to watch football? Well, Plymouth Argyr.

Right, but you're in the away end? Yeah, no, I've been to some home games. It's at Exeter because it's the local team. One of the local teams. I'd just go to games. But yeah, worst bit of your stadium, from the fans, not opposing fans. Yeah.

This needs to be you are a whatever, like sundland fan and what you don't like at your stadium. Rob, you're aware. that Michael Jackson, David Blaine and Rahad al-Fiad did an event at Exeter City in the early 2000s. And Yuri Geller? And Yuri Geller, yeah.

What is it that brings those kind of people to that club then? Uri Geller, his son was an extra fan because I think he lived an extra in a past life, I think. When you say a past life, when he was younger or... No, I mean, they're trying Uri Geller. So Uri Geller, one of his... previous lives was him living in Exeter. No, no, his son's previous lives. So his son lived before?

I think so, yeah. Daniel Geller, he was called. Right. And so Yuri Geller kind of became attached to Exeter. Daniel Geller, he's a lawyer and trainee barrister. Right. In this life. His son looks as highly like him.

I can't believe I'm looking at pictures of Yuri and Daniel Geller. There was a lot of publicity at the time because his father, Yuri Geller, planted energy-infused crystals. behind the goals to help the team? Yeah. Not buying that? The energy and food? No.

It didn't work, did it? No. Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Shop online and get the same low No Frills prices delivered. Get your first year of PC Express Pass for just $2.50 a month. Learn more at nofrills.ca. Hold music. Not what you want to hear when a pipe dispersed in your basement is flooding.

That's why Intact Insurance answers 2 million claim calls per year within 20 seconds. So instead of hearing this lovely track, you'll hear this in seconds. Hello, Intact Insurance. We make Chevrolet vehicles, but what you do with them makes them so much more. You make them mobile offices, your kids' personal taxi, a concert shuttle, your hockey equipment locker, your recording studio. We make a Chevrolet, but you make it a Chevy. Discover yours at Chevrolet.ca. Josh, faking knowledge about football, weird backroom staff.

That's fun. I didn't know that. Well, let's do it. Faking football knowledge. Hey, Rob, Josh and Michael, just listened to the latest episode. I wanted to chip in with a term I used to make people think I know more about football than I do. I'm more of a rugby league fan in brackets. Sorry, Josh.

I prefer rugby league to rugby union. I think it's a better sport. And also it's more working class. Yeah. Unions are bit posh. Yeah. he's loud isn't it your boy

yeah it's not ideal no he's right it's quite funny if someone made a comment about a player whilst watching a football game I'd say yeah but he's no teddy sharing him

I don't even know where this came from but I actually got away with it a couple of times someone even agreed with me she is Amy from Hull I think she's got to upgrade that reference well yeah so what context would it work

talking about any striker I suppose but he's no I think Teddy Sherryans known as a bit of a swordsman as well isn't they it depends what you're watching isn't it

you're watching Love Island you could still use Sheridanham it's not Teddy Sheridan have you got any more you could share with listeners to fake their knowledge loving the podcast so far stay sexy relatable

and unscripted from Amy from Hull he's no Teddy sharing him I think you just need general points like um i think formation if you go honestly i just think the way they play now they've over complicated i think a four four two might be more effective because it's so direct yeah that's good something like that saying that four four two is like you can't beat four four two i think this would work with any discussion just say i just think you've got always remember

form is temporary classes forever they've got a knuckle down to the fundamentals all right shirley ballast just got to keep it simple shirley ballast always talks about the fundamentals Sorry, I'm going into my other job there, Rock. Sorry, sorry about that. But yeah, but that's why it works. You can use that. Any general complaints about modern football, just a kind of generic,

the players are... They've become sort of like robotic sort of media-trained machines now. I preferred it when there's more personality in the game. Exactly, yeah, I preferred it when there's more personality in the game. That's good. That's good. Weird backroom staff featuring X players. Hello, you sexy beast and mysterious Michael. I support Peterborough United

who have just appointed Robbie Savage as manager. They're kicking off about that, aren't they? Why? Imagine arguing over having Robbie Savage. Yeah. We want him. Anyway, it's not gone down well with fans and came very, very left field.

Please can I have your opinion on this an ex-prose as manager? I know Josh has first down experience of this with Rooney. Love you, both. I'm very excited. you now have parenting a football podcast. Emma, a Peterborough fan who is strapping in for a ride

of our new manager. Just enjoy it. It's going to be mental. He won his first game, didn't he? I don't know what his second result was. Is he doing well? I thought the drama was that he got sort of tapped up from Forest Green.

He's got quite a good record in the non-league area. I'll be savage, from what I read. He drew 2-2 with Burton in his second game with a 96-minute equaliser. He left McElfell. went to Forrest Green now as a Peterborough.

When we appointed Wayne Rooney, I'll be honest. My initial feeling was, oh dear. And then I was like, look, we've got Wayne Rooney as manager.

This is fun. You've got to enjoy it. Is great. Was she tempted to get a Rooney shirt? No. No. Did anyone have a Rooney shirt at the ground? Yeah,

probably. But I mean, obviously he wasn't playing, although he probably could of. I think you've just got to enjoy it. You get these big name managers. At the end of the day, Rob, it's an entertainment product. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Can you teach people to be good at something just because you're good at it? Well, that's what they say, isn't it? Good footballers make bad managers because it's so effortless to them that they can't understand how these people are finding what they did

difficult so they can't teach it because it's like you teaching stand up to someone rubbish you'd be like but it's simple you do this with runy the best he was was when there was no thought it was all instinct and natural not not not not on not playing him not saying because you didn't think about it wasn't good but he had such a natural instinct like when he scored that um halfway line goal for Everton. He hit that immediately, but like there was no time to think about what to do. His body just knew to do it and how

to hit it. And even with his best goals, like, he's long balls. He was so underrated for long balls. I always fear this is a slightly problematic term. But he's what you was as often described as a street footballer isn't he? Do you know what I mean?

Like a kind of player who has learned it on the streets more than like in an academy or whatever. Well, look, but I think street football's a derogatory way to go, you can train players all you want, but if you've got enough for a ability, you're going to have something so special that you could never train anyone to be it or deal with it.

And they add that. Yeah. But that's what Messi, they don't call Messier street footballer, even though he's a similar player to Rudy in a way. Obviously, he's a better player than Rooney, but it's a similar... I think because Messi was he,

in the Barcelona Academy. Wasn't he famously, he was kind of brought across a very young to Spain, wasn't he? Yeah. Didn't they offer growth hormone as well? Yeah, he was ejected with growth hormones.

I feel like, Christian Ronaldo and Frank Lampard are sort of like players that knew exactly what they needed to do worked really, really hard and would set little goals of I need to do this and to do that to do that to improve

and become a complete footballer and they did that. Whereas someone like Runeer felt like it was just the less he thought the better he was, he just felt it. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. He's more of an artist than a footballer

because he's got a shave dead and he's hard and he's from Liverpool. Would you compare yourself to Wayne Rooney? Like a natural stand-up? Yeah, I'd say I'm better instinctively more than sitting down thinking about it. You're a street stand-up, Rob. I'm a street stand-up.

I just learn on the street. You learn on the street. I learn on the street as opposed to going into it. The rest of us did the clubs. You'd just pop a mic down under the underpass and do 20 minutes, wouldn't you? Yeah, well, you guys, you're in the classroom. You're writing stuff down.

You've got pen and paper. I'm just there with work. I'm doing key Piappies in vocabulary. Exactly, yeah. Okay, Ref Watch meeting referees in the wild, if you want that one. Do you want that one? Hi, guys, just following up your discussion

about Mark Clattenberg and his infamous tattoo. Last year, I was on holiday Marbaia at a pool party when in Waltz, a group of 15 bloke for a stagdo, led by none other than Mark Clattenberg. while his mates were having a drink and messing around in the pool Mark sat in his sunbed and was not really getting involved

as the day he went on and many drinks were consumed me and my friend decided to approach Mark and asked him a few questions about football and what certain players were like it was a good sport before my friend asked what was the best game he ever refereed at that point he got up to head to the bar before pointing to his arm with the tattoos

of the Champions League and Eurofinals and said take your fucking pick Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Is a BAFTA award? Should I get a BAFTA toad? I know, like, oh, it depends, like, is a BAFTA that impressive as winning the league or something like that? I don't know. It gives that what... But it's like getting a BAFTA tattoo. I mean, what else is there to win in my, our profession? he's like Oscars or BAFTA. Because ours isn't about winning, is it, I suppose? Certainly wasn't in my career at the BAFTA's. Or get a picture of that, Hammersmith, Hamas of Apollo or like the OTA arena.

The Palladium. Should I get... With all the dates, yeah. You did about 20 weeks. Palladium. And like every date I did the Palladium on my arm. Or the OTA arena. We should get the date of, we should get a tattoo of the OTA arena and the date we sold it out.

Because it's quite iconic image, the OTA Arena, with the date for Lauer. with the date below it. Imagine the comedian WhatsApp groups if we had the O-2 Arena tattooed on our arms matching. Michael Magatard would look like a fucking some sort of gang prisoner. He had all his on them. Is it like Memento?

Michael, what would you say if me and Josh went, oh, we're getting matching tattoos, do you want to get one? I would politely decline. Yeah, you don't want a title of the famous Millennium Dome on your upper arm? When I was 14, I genuinely. like if you could get tattoos at 14 legally, I was going to get Cantonar and 7 on my back like in the same size and placement as you would

on the back of a football chair. When was this? I wish you'd done that. When I was 14. I was actually mad that I couldn't get it done. I loved him so much. Obviously, I would have had it laser off since then. Would you get a small cantonar tattoo?

I would not get any kind of tattoo. No, I would never get any tattoo. Why don't you get a collar turned up tattoo on your neck? With the right shade in it, it looked like it. I don't want to sound like an old person but Edison's neck tattoo always made me think this is a bit much

You do sound like an old buzz Sorry loads of those people have neck tattoos I don't they I know I'd go arms I would go arms Now look I think only a World Cup or Champions League

Now I think World Cup's the only one A footballer should get tattooed on him What my Nation's league Well would Christian Kramer Get a World Cup tattooed on him Because he was a result of goldkeeper in 2014 for Germany. You'd be mad, you'd be like,

why you got that on you? Because I won it. Did you? You're not even a footballer, are you? You basically went on holiday to Brazil for two months. What about Ballondor? Get that tattooed on you. I hate the Ballandor. I think the Ballandor is at such a load of crap. A bit of a PR Swiss, isn't it?

It's so crazy. Yeah, it totally is. And it didn't used to matter. And now they're fucking saying, your mouth's going to get. it over Kane because he's got this PR behind it. You're like, what is this? It's mental. Who cares? It's like Oscars buzz. It is like Oscars buzz. It's crap. The Ball and Door Kane can't get any Oscars buzz going. He cannot get Ball and Door buzz. That man, I love Harry Kane.

I've met him. I've watched his content and it looks like he's being held hostage. Just let that man play golf and football and never speak to anyone ever again because he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to. He doesn't. I'm fair enough, he's got a lovely man, unbelievable football. I've got a lovely family. He's the best England player since we won the World Cup. I've chatted to his wife before. She's absolutely lovely. All his family are lovely. Did they all give their names when you met them?

Yeah, they did. Hello. You know, their full name. I'm Harry Kane's father-in-law. What's your actual name? No, just that. That's my name. That's my full name.

And that's a shame, really. I hope he wins it, Harry Kane. Yeah, but it's the biggest load of bollocks. The ballon door is crap. So what I love most about Harry Kane being so good is it shows you that it isn't a surprise Tottenham as shit now. because he carried them for so long. Yeah.

Imagine if Harry Kane weren't at Tottenham over that last 10 years. Careful what you wish for with Bruno Fernandez leaving, Michael. He could be your cane. He could be your cane. I think, Rob, that's covered everything. Should we just do a couple, just end on a couple of other potential football stories? Go on. Thomas Tuchel has quit as England manager.

He's gone. He's gone. He's taken over. Eddie Howe? You don't like any how, though. I don't mind Eddie Howe. I don't mind. You just don't want him at Man United.

Florian Wirtz scored a hat trick, Rob. No, he didn't. He won't. He can't. I don't think his legs are strong enough. He'll do a little soft assist, but his legs aren't strong enough to score a hat trick in the Premier League. I'm sorry.

I don't want to be an avert's hater, but he's not a bad footballer, but he's not delivering for that price. That's what I'm saying. There we go. See you next week. See you next week, bye. Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery.

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