Passion Struck with John R. Miles - 6 Ways to Build Resilience EP 78

Episode Date: November 5, 2021

In today’s episode, John R Miles reveals the most important ways we can develop resilience and learn to use pain for positive growth.  Whether you struggle with resilience or not, this podcast will serve you. You'll learn what it means to build resilience and how we can build a stronger legacy on the foundation of struggle. Miles offers practical steps and encouraging insight backed by science on how you can overcome adversity. If you want all the resources, including recommended books from this episode please go to: https://passionstruck.com/six-ways-to-build-resilience/. Like this? Please subscribe, and join me on my new platform for peak performance, life coaching, and personal growth: https://passionstruck.com/. Thank you for listening to the Passion Struck podcast. In this powerful Momentum Friday Episode, John R. Miles discusses 6 ways to build resilience in your life. New Interviews with the World's GREATEST high achievers will be posted every Tuesday with a Momentum Friday inspirational message!   Show Notes 0:00 Intro 3:12 Consumed by your Past Trauma 4:50 How you can rebound from adversity 6:36 Fight permanence from adversity 8:08 Find social support 10:32 Focus on your health 12:57 Get to know the inner self 14:17 Cultivate positive thinking 16:28 Reframe adversity or stress as a challenge ENGAGE WITH JOHN R. MILES * Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles * Leave a comment, 5-star rating (please!) * Support me: https://johnrmiles.com * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Johnrmiles.c0m. * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles ABOUT JOHN R. MILES * https://johnrmiles.com/my-story/ * Guides: https://johnrmiles.com/blog/ * Coaching: https://passionstruck.com/coaching/ * Speaking: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking-business-transformation/ * Gear: https://www.zazzle.com/store/passion_struck PASSION STRUCK *Subscribe to Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-passion-struck-podcast/id1553279283 *Website: https://passionstruck.com/ *About: https://passionstruck.com/about-passionstruck-johnrmiles/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/passionstruck *Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/

Welcome back to the PassionStruck podcast and thank you so much for being here and supporting this show. I am so excited today that I get the opportunity to channel my positive energy to each and every one of you. As you're doing chores around the house, taking your kids to soccer practice, walking your dog, making dinner, or whatever activity you might be doing. Thank you so much for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on unlocking the keys to living a no regret's life. If you're new to the show, I want to tell you about something that we have just introduced called Starter Pams.

What we've done here is we've taken some of our most popular episodes and we've grouped them by topic to make it easier for you to get acquainted for all the great things that the show has to offer. You can finally starter packs at passionstruck.com slash starter packs. Now I wanna to recognize the Passion Struck podcast and of the week.

And today's comes from the United States. Gene Fulmer writes, Good Podcast, an awesome podcast with great topics that are clearly well-fought out and reserved. Thank you so much, Gene, for your kind words about the Passion Start podcast. And for recognizing that we do try to support our episodes with scientific, packed research. And that's something you will hear today in today's episode. The topic for today came from one of you, a listener of this podcast, who reached out to me on Instagram.

And if there's a topic that you would like to hear me speak about, or a guest that you would like to see me interview on this show, you can DM me at Instagram at JohnRMiles. Last week, I discussed what resilience is and isn't. The concept of post-traumatic growth, the difference between resilience and strength, and what makes some people more resilient than others. And today, I'm going to go into six ways that you can build resilience in your own life. Now, let's become PassionStruck.

Welcome Visionaries, Creators, Innovators, Entrepreneurs, Leaders entrepreneurs, leaders and growth seekers of all types to the PassionStruck podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach, multi industry CEO, maybe veteran and entrepreneur on a mission to make Passion Go viral for millions worldwide. I do so by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing eye achievers from all walks of life who unlock their secrets and lessons to become an action-struck. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener by giving you tips, tasks and activities you can use to achieve peak performance and for too much action-driven life you have always wanted to have. Now, let's become passion struck. Do you feel like your present is getting consumed by your past? That your stuck feeling is though you were lost on a ship at sea, surrounded by misfortune

you were lost on a ship at sea, surrounded by misfortune and no way to escape. You are not alone and a lot of people feel that way, especially after the last two years that we've all gone through. Most people can recover from adversity. However, some never bounce back. And this is something that boggles so many scientists trying to discover the underlying cause of why some people do and some people don't. Our memories cause us to experience certain emotions and whether they are positive or negative.

And thus, when we remember them, it brings back the sensation of feeling happy or sad. Some make us laugh while others make us feel despair inside. However, there are some memories involving adversity that affect us more seriously and subconsciously. And we've had many past guests on this show who've overcome different types of adversity, ranging from illness, such as Sasukea light star, dara curts, steffley and sydney hooper childhood abuse like nape dukes or living a party lifestyle in hitting rock bottom like philip anthony mangan painful memories bad experiences negative emotions or deep pain caused by them can linger and affect us in ways that feel irreversible.

This is where resilience enters. Resilience is that unique skill that helps us overcome swiftly. As I discussed on last week's show, if you are resilient, you can rebound and keep going, when life throws obstacles in your way. Often the challenges that you face in your life will ultimately make you stronger. And although some of these adverse situations may be permanent, we don't have to keep letting them affect us today in the present or affect us in the future. In fact, we can learn and grow as a result of them. And that's exactly what it means to build up resilience. And don't worry, you can do it. It is possible.

And I will provide you some scientifically back ways that I have used myself to overcome adversity and build resilience. The ability to cope with adversity isn't something that we're born with, nor something that we inherit, nor are we born with a fixed amount of resilience. It's like a muscle that everyone can develop. By working on yourself, tackling your fears, self-limiting beliefs, and self-doubt. Possessing resilience is far more than surviving unfortunate conditions. We require resilience every single day and every walk of our life. And that's because we

all have stressors all around us as we raise a family. Overcome work situations deal with health problems, navigate issues with others, heal from broken relationships where the loss of loved ones, but it's having that willpower to keep going that really determines your resilience. So with that, as a backdrop, I'm now going to give you six different ways that you can build resilience in your own life. The first is to embrace the reality and fight its permanence. It is so natural to want to push adversity to the side and absolutely not want to deal with it. After all, who wants to let adversity linger? But that shouldn't be the mindset of someone who has the desire to become passion struck.

In fact, there is a lot of data that illustrates that we often overestimate how long grief or pain will not only persist, but also its gravity. Morton's top rank professor, Adam Grant and Facebook's COO, Cheryl Samberg, wrote the New York Times bestseller, Option B, Facing adversity, building resilience, and finding joy. The book discusses how sometimes we get in our heads that the pain from adversity will last forever and we need to fight the permanence and embrace the reality that whatever pain or grief you are currently experiencing, it will not last. With that perspective, your hardships will only strengthen your state of mind enabling you to be flexible enough to adapt to any crisis and make the most of it.

As Martin Luther King Jr. said, we must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. Now, the second way that you can build resilience is to find social support. One of the main things that gets lost when we bounce back from adversity is the importance of connections with caring, connections with caring, supportive, empathetic, understanding, and positive people, lost in all of the research that's been done on building resilience is the essence of social circumstances. However, recent 2015 research, published

in the journal of Ecology and Society, demonstrates that if support is provided by social systems in times of adversity, that support is directly linked to building resilience in the individual. Elliott Friedman, a resiliency researcher, says, the availability of social support in all its forms, instrumental support, emotional support, support with how you think about things, they all matter and help us in facing a challenge.

Look around and remind yourself that you are not the only one who's dealing with difficulties. Good social connections are tied to elevated psychological and physical well-being. Thus, it's not surprising that social relationships also matter when it comes to resiliency. Partly because they help us feel less stress when we are in those times of suffering. Just because your pain feels personal doesn't mean you have to go through it all alone.

Share your feelings with trustworthy friends, family members, behavioral therapists or counselors. I have found personally that how resilient we are has as much or more to do with our support circle than potentially even our personal strength. Consider being a part of a group of your interest, interact with people, share and exchange ideas. Through that, you will get the social support that you need to regain hope and also a sense of purpose. It will also go a long way in helping you to not think about the adverse situations that are part of your life. Their third way to build resilience

is to focus on your health. With all the stressors in our life, self-care is something that we tend to deprioritize. Stress interrupts, as I talked about before, both your psychological and physical health. By working on the betterment of both, you will find yourself capable of facing stressful situations. Some of the measures that need to be taken include

getting proper sleep, aerobic exercise, and a healthy diet. Efficiency of sleep can result in fatigue, loss of memory, the inability to make decisions are learning capabilities and the strength to cope with difficulties. So as a guideline, make sure you try to sleep seven to nine hours each night. It is scientifically proven that anaerobic exercises

releases stress hormones and regulates the chemicals in your body so that your mind gets sharpened, your blood pressure gets optimized and ultimately stress levels decrease. So whenever you are tense or stressed, go for a walk, go for a run, take a ride on your bike, go to the gym and do a high intensity workout. Anything that you can do to exercise your body. And when it comes to healthy foods, according to the research of Edith Cohen University, people who eat 470 grams of fruits and vegetables each day

have 10% lower stress levels than people who consume less than 230 grams. The World Health Organization also recommends that we consume 400 grams of fruits and vegetables each day. So I've talked about some of the things that you can do for your physical health, but your mental health is also the key to all of it. And it has a direct correlation with your brain health. One of my podcast guests, Cindy Shaw, a few weeks ago, talked about this correlation between brain health and mental health by describing it in these terms.

Your brain health is the hardware, whereas your mental health is the software that runs upon that hardware. And both need to be operating at their highest levels. Prayer, meditation, yoga, and self-inter respective can help you remind you of all the good things that you've got going on in your life. They can help you relax your mind and rekindle the hope to overcome the setbacks that life throws at us. The fourth way that we can build more resilience is to get to know the inner self. As a result of adversity, many people are strengthened and become better versions of themselves.

Their continuous steadfastness supported them and gave them a better sense of the importance of relationships, values, and purpose. If you adopt this approach of appreciating what life has to offer, you will get another step closer to being resilient. In her book, It's grief, the dance of self-discovery between trauma and loss. Psychotherapist Edie Nathan provides guidance on how to overcome grief, engage with it, and allow the experience to be a time of insight and post-traumatic growth.

I recommend you reading that book if you'd like to understand more about self-discovery and grief. I find that for me, there are three keys to establishing foundational self-discovery. These include becoming comfortable with discomfort. An episode I recently did on this podcast, self-education and spending time with yourself and your thoughts.

As simple as it sounds by knowing who you are, you can get such a better sense of coping with adversity that life has thrown your way. The fifth way to build resilience is to cultivate positive thinking. The way your mind operates is going to play such a significant role in how you're going to face a setback. If possible, try to approach these setbacks in a realistic manner and focus on realistic dreams, goals, and aspirations. Get rid of irrational and wishful thinking and devise a plan to cope with these hardships. Assuming that a specific event that life has thrown your way is the end of all your hopes and dreams is not going to get you anywhere. A resilient person accepts the fact that obstacles no matter their gravity are a part of life and life's learning. And they find a way around these obstacles by developing a healthy mindset.

According to research, your brain operates at such a higher level when it's in a state of positivity. From the fundamentals of the broadened and build theory of positivity by BL, Fredripson, upon meditational analysis, it was observed in students that positivity has a significant role in building resilience. So what are some ways that you can be positive? The first is to identify things or habits that bring negativity into your life and look for ways to change them.

Another way is to put yourself in a positive surrounding. Be with optimistic people and learn from them. Think about the things that you have and the things that you lack and work on building up the things you want in your life. Another way is to keep smiling even if you were just faking it. It is proven research that smiling can help you feel more positive inside and on a similar vein, humor and spending time with funny people can also create positivity in your life. And staying positive doesn't mean you ignore the problems and obstacles that you're facing.

And mindlessly continue moving forward. It's all about staying positive. It's facing the issue with hope and solving them instead of being afraid. Once you start to trust your abilities, you'll find that problems start to solve themselves. The sixth way that you can build resilience is to change your approach by reframing,

adversity, or stress as a challenge instead of a threat. Rather than taking stress, trauma, or adversity as a problem, take it as a challenge. Kelly McGonigal, a health psychologist at Stanford, says that we spend a lot of time worrying about stress and not enough harnessing it to learn and grow. Think of your stress as a way to improve yourself rather than getting consumed by it.

Mark, each of these adverse situation as a task and learn from them. So when a new task comes, look behind you. What measures did you take to tackle your previous problems? What were the mistakes that you made in doing so? What can you do this time not to repeat those same mistakes? Move forward knowing that with each challenge, you are learning, growing and rising.

As Nelson Mandela once said, the greatest glory in living lies not with falling, but in rising every time we fall. When times get tough, recall your hard earned strengths and tell yourself you're up for the challenge and don't think that you have to go it alone. Let your support system help you and freely give yourself to them.

And remember, the hill feels so much less steep when we're standing together. And I covered a lot there today and in the past episode from last week. I also discussed a number of episodes today that I will put in the show notes from personal episodes that I've done to episodes that I talked about today

with Sasuke Lightstar, Derek Kurtz, Sydney Hooper, Stephanie, along with Cindy Shaw, Philip Anthony Mangon, and Nate Dukes. And today I also mentioned a number of books, and I want to tell you that on our website, we now have books that I recommend from guests that have come on the show or topics like today's that I've researched.

We do have an affiliate program associated with them and you can buy those books at Amazon or bookshop.org and all the proceeds go to supporting this show, go out there yourself and become passion struck. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make passion go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the Passion Start podcast on Spotify, iTunes,

Stitcher or wherever you listen to your podcast ad. And if you absolutely love this episode, we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes and you sharing it with three of your most group-minded friends, so they can post it as well to their social accounts and help us grow our passion start community. If you'd like to learn more about the show and our mission, you can go to passionstruck.com where you can sign up for our newsletter,

look at our tools, and also download the show notes for today's episode. Additionally, you can listen to us every Tuesday and Friday for even more inspiring content. And remember, make a choice, work hard, and step into your sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us. you