Passion Struck with John R. Miles - 7 Reasons Why Acts of Kindness Are More than Meets the Eye w/John R. Miles EP 340

Episode Date: September 1, 2023

In this thought-provoking episode, I dive into a topic that has the potential to transform lives and the world around us: acts of kindness. Join me as we journey through the science, stories, benefits, and strategies behind the profound influence of kindness on our lives. Full show notes and resources can be found here:  Want to learn the 12 philosophies that the most successful people use to create a limitless life? Pre-order John R. Miles’s new book, Passion Struck, releasing on February 6, 2024. And in case you didn't already know it, John R. Miles (@John_R_Miles) takes your comments and questions for Momentum Friday right here every week! If you want him to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Momentum Friday episodes, drop us a line at [e-mail]. Now, let's dive in! Unleashing the Power of Kindness: How Acts of Kindness Enrich Your Life and the Lives of Others Tune in to this enlightening episode of Passion Struck as I explore the profound influence of kindness and how it can shape a life filled with purpose, connection, and joy. Don't just listen – let kindness be your guide to making a difference in the world around you. Brought to you by Netsuite by Oracle. Download NetSuite’s popular KPI Checklist, designed to give you consistently excellent performance at https://www.netsuite.com/passionstruck. Brought to you by OneSkin. Get 15% off OneSkin with our code [PassionStruck] at #oneskinpod. Brought to you by Lifeforce: Join me and thousands of others who have transformed their lives through Lifeforce's proactive and personalized approach to healthcare. Visit MyLifeforce.com today to start your membership and receive an exclusive $200 off. Brought to you by Indeed: Claim your SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLAR CREDIT now at Indeed dot com slash PASSIONSTRUCK. Brought to you by Hello Fresh. Use code passion 50 to get 50% off plus free shipping!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally! Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMiles and on Instagram at @john_R_Miles. Prefer to watch this episode: https://youtu.be/OT3dB5_VPJc  Subscribe to our main YouTube Channel Here: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles Subscribe to our YouTube Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@passionstruckclips Want to find your purpose in life? I provide my six simple steps to achieving it - passionstruck.com/5-simple-steps-to-find-your-passion-in-life/ Want to hear my best interviews from 2022? Check out episode 233 on intentional greatness and episode 234 on intentional behavior change. Learn more about John: https://johnrmiles.com/  Passion Struck is now on the Brushwood Media Network every Monday and Friday from 5–6 PM. Step 1: Go to TuneIn, Apple Music (or any other app, mobile or computer) Step 2: Search for "Brushwood Media” Network

Coming up next on Passion Struck, whether it's buying a stranger's coffee, sharing a heartfelt compliment, lending an ear to someone in need, or sparking change through charitable gestures. The ways that you can weave kindness into your days are limitless and don't just save kindness for birthdays and holidays.

Make it your daily rhythm because here's the secret sauce. Kindness doesn't drain your reserves. It amplifies your life. Welcome to PassionStruck. Hi, I'm your host, John Armiles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you.

Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guest-ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hello everyone and welcome back to Momentum Friday and episode 340 of PassionStruck.

Incidentally, Ranked by Apple is one of the top 10 health podcasts in the world. And thank you to each and every one of you who come back weekly to listen and learn, had a live better, be better, and impact the world. If you're new to the show, thank you so much for being here, or you simply want to introduce this, who are a friend or a family member, we now have episodes starter packs, which are collections of our fans' favorite episodes that you can organize, and it can be any topics

that give any new listener a great way to get acclimated to everything we do here on the show. Either go to passionstruck.com, slash starter packs, or Spotify to get started. You can also catch us on Monday and Friday from 5 to 6 p.m. Eastern time on your evening commute on the Brushwood Media Network. Links will be in the show notes. In case you missed my episodes from earlier in the week,

I had on two great guests. The first was a visionary nature filmmaker and cinematographer, Louis Swartzburg. Louis breathtaking films from fantastic fungi who as latest masterpiece gratitude revealed have enchanted audiences worldwide, opening their eyes the eye-inspiring beauty of the natural world. In Gratitude Revealed, Louis takes us on a transformational cinematic journey, exploring how gratitude can lead to such a more meaningful life.

The second episode featured Dr. Judd Brewer, who is an author and thought leader in the field of habit change, as well as the science of self-mastery. We discuss his New York Times best-selling book, Unwinding Exziety. New science shows us how to break the cycles of fear and worry to heal your mind. Please check them all out and I wanted to thank you so much for your continued support of the show. If you love either of those episodes or today's we would so appreciate it if you gave us a five-star rating review and please share this with your family and friends. I know we and our guests love to hear from you. Now let's talk about today's Momentum Friday episode.

Take a second and travel back to a time when you either rock to sweet gesture for someone or are on the receiving end of such goodness. I bet you're grinning right now as those memories flood in. Those moments lit you up like a Christmas tree flooding you with all those warm fuzzies. And the crazy thing is, just thinking about them, brings that same surge of joy back. No two ways about it. Dishing out kindness and being on the receiving end are like pure positivity bonds loaded with perks of plenty. But let's be real here, even though we know kindness is a big deal. We're not always pros at dishing it out. Our self-interest often hogged spotlight, dimming the needs of others.

Our lives full throttle in the pursuit of success sometimes blinds us to the simple stuff around. Those everyday needs that we could effortlessly meet if we just paused and gave it am. So in this episode I'm diving deep into why kindness is wired into your DNA. The awesome paybacks for rocking this kindness vibe and some hands-on techniques that seriously jack up your kindness game in your day-to-day hustle. By the time we're done here you'll be all pumped up to slap on a fresh coat of purpose onto your kindness per se. Let's kick off this adventure with a potent tale from the master storyteller himself, John W. Slatter. This little narrative tells a vivid picture

of just how massive a ripple and a tiny drop of kindness can create. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. again. Back in 1993, the literary master John W. Slatter penned a tale that's like a punch in the gut reminder of how a single, unassuming act of kindness can snatch someone from the jaws of despair.

He named it simple gesture, and here's the rundown. So there's this guy named Mark just strolling home from school one day ahead of him Some poor kid spills his whole life books sweaters baseball gear you name it without missing a beat Mark swoops in like a hero and helps the kid collect his stuff They're headed in the same direction So Mark runs a hand with the load and as they walk secret spell kids name bill his loves Video games baseball and some good old history. His struggles, everything else.

Plus, he's fresh out of a breakup pouch. They get to Bill's house and bam. Mark's invited in for some Coke and TV. Afternoon turns into laughter, chitchat. And before you know it, Mark heads home. But guess what? The St. No One Time thing. They start bumping into each other at school.

Grab lunch a couple times and even graduate from junior high together. High school? Yep, same place. They cross paths here and there over the years. Then boom, senior year drops, and three weeks before tossing those caps, Bill hits Mark with a we need to talk, and here is when things get deep. Bill takes a trip down memory lane lane back to the day that they first crossed paths. Turns out that that day was more than just books falling. Bill was carrying

a load way heavier. Didn't away were his mom's sleeping pills and he was marching home with a plan, a dark plan. But then Mark happened. They taught. They laughed. They bonded. And in that shared moment, Bill saw a different path, a path that held more moments, more laughter, more life. So in a way, when Mark scooped up those scattered books, he did way more than just a good deed. He saved a life. This story, oh man, is such a phenomenal example. How potent a single act of kindness can be. And trust me, there are tons of these true tales that are floating around. Not all might be this dramatic, but each one packs a punch, reminding us of the force, kindness wields. So here's the thought grenade I'm tossing your way. Is kindness something that we're born with? Where is it a skill

that we whip up as we age? Buckle up because we're diving in to the answer. I recently interviewed Dacker Keltner, a psychology guru from UC Berkeley, and the brain behind the Greater Good Science Center, who highlights that scientific research has unveiled a neuro network in the brain that's intricately linked to the oxytocin system. Oxytocin, a neuropeptide, plays a pivotal role in fostering empathy and generosity in his book, Born to Be Good, the science of a meaningful life. Keltner delts further into the notion that our evolution as a species has endowed us with innate predispositions towards qualities like kindness, generosity and self-sacrifice. These traits, the brainchild of evolution's grand agenda, survival, gene spread, and

the harmonious functioning of groups. So kindness isn't just a philosophical notion. It's biology at play etched into our neural circuitry. Hold up though, here's the curve wall. While we're born with kindness on speed dial, it's no smooth sail from there. We have to earn our kindness stripes through learning and sweat. See, while we're geared for kindness, we've also got this flip side, a penchant for unkindness, fueled by life's quirky scenarios in the environment's whispers. Think of it like the infamous tale of two wolves ducking it out inside of us. One good, one not so nice, asked which wolf wins.

The answer is Sly, the one we feed. Yep, what we nurture rules the roost within, so it's checkmate time. We have to reckon with our not-so-kind inclinations, serving them up some tough love. Only then can we shower sunshine on our virtuous side through consistent acts of kindness. So I have a question for you. Have you ever caught yourself in the tug of those two wolves? Which one are you feeding these days? So I believe that there's a price tag for kindness. And it comes down to, are you willing to pay? Listen up, folks, kindness, that stuff that we all claim to love. Sometimes makes us flinch, hesitate, or even pull back.

Weird, right? Why would we hold back on something so fundamentally good? Well, let's dive into the grit. Here is the twist. Even though kindness should be as easy as breathing, we often get caught up in our heads. We overthink, second guess, and worry about the emotional fallout. Like what if our kindness isn't needed?

Or worse, what if people see right through us thinking that we're just after some brownie points. These doubts creep in and we end up asking on kindness just to dodge vulnerability. In previous episodes, 118 and 202, I delve deep into empathy and vulnerability. Two monsters that we all grapple with. If you can grasp this truth that you don't need to tiptoe around other people's opinions, and instead focus on your sincere intention to make the world better. Boom, you're ready to throw kindness around like confetti.

So in a nutshell, kindness isn't free. It costs something precious. Courage, a courage to be open, to give, without holding back, to let yourself be seen. Io Angelo, the knowledge powerhouse nailed it. It takes courage to be kind. Courage is the most significant of all virtues, because without courage, one cannot consistently practice any other virtue. Now it's your turn. Are you ready to cough up that courage? How willing are you to give without expecting anything in return? So now let's explore the kindness effect. And why there's more than just meets the eye. So you've heard that being

kind is a good thing, right? But here is the kicker. It's not just good. It's a mind-blowing win, win, win. Let's break it down, shall we? Kindness isn't just some good good. It's a mind-blowing win, win, win. Let's break it down, shall we? Heineness isn't just some good deed. It's a one-way ticket to joy and awe. Picture this. You spread kindness, and suddenly you're swimming in a pool of intense happiness. But it doesn't stop there. You're also hit with awe, that jaw-dropping wonder at the moral beauty all around you. During a previous discussion with Professor Dacker Keltner, the author of awe, the science of everyday wonder, and how it can transform your life. wonder at the moral beauty all around you. During a previous discussion with Professor Dacker-Kelner, the author of A, The Science of Everyday Wonder,

and how it can transform your life, he shared how acts of kindness are like awe magnets. Now, let's talk about fulfillment and satisfaction, which are life's big high five. You know that warm, fuzzy feeling, when you do something kind, and you see the impact on someone else's face. Yeah, that satisfaction on steroids.

It's like hitting life's jackpot because you just made someone's day, or maybe even their life better. And guess what, it's a spiritual power up that boosts your overall life quality. Kindness is also a relationship supercharger. Remember that line by Joseph W. Warthland? Kindness is a passport that opens doors in fashion's friends. It's not just poetic fluff, it's real. Being kind is like waving a magic one for awesome relationships.

It's the ripple effect. Your kindness reaches people, connects dots, and suddenly you're in a network of awesome people and opportunities. Kindness is also a mood buster and stress crusher. Research conducted at Emery University has revealed that your brain loves kindness. When you dish it out, your brain's pleasure zones

light up like a disco ball. And when you see kindness in action, oxytocin, the ultimate mood lifter, floods your system, reducing stress, boosting energy, and giving your heart a high five. Plus, serotonin, the happiness wizard gets in on the action making you chill and super positive. How about pain and anxiety?

Not on kindness's watch. Let's talk about endorphins. Your brain's pain killers. Kindness pushes the endorphin button, giving you a natural high and kicking pain to the curb. Oh, and did I mention cortisol? That stress hormone, kindness crushes that too, leaving you cool as a cucumber. It's your ticket to a zen-like mental state, waving away depression and inviting a mental well-being party. All this goodness,

it's like the fountain of youth. The secret sauce for a longer, happier life. Now it's your turn. Have you ever felt the power of these kindness benefits? Think back, acts of kindness that you have performed and how they made you feel. Drop a comment on this episode and let's keep this conversation going. So now I want to go through one of the most important aspects of this episode, which is how do you live the kindness code, the blueprint, for creating a meaningful life? You know, being kind doesn't need a red carpet event. It's not about grand gestures. It's about small everyday stuff, like helping a kid go across the street or offering a listening ear. The beauty is that kindness doesn't stick to a script.

It's a versatile masterpiece painted in a million colors. So how do you make kindness, your life's rhythm? Here's the low down on the seven keys for living a life ripping with kindness. First, kindness starts with you. The rock kindness you've got to start with numero uno, yourself. If you're handing out self-criticism like candy, that's what you'll spread around. Create yourself kindly, and that kindness will flow onto others like a waterfall. Second, open up and feel empathy.

Kindness demands a dash of vulnerability. When you're yourself out there, despite risk, an empathy that's your backstage path someone else's feelings. Be a sponge for their emotions. You'll have all the tools that you need to rock the kindness scene. For further insights on vulnerability and empathy, check out episode 118 on the importance of empathy in your life. Third, forgive like a boss.

To be kind, you gotta let go of past grudges. Yep, forgiveness is your golden ticket to Kindness Town. Itch old wounds and watch your kindness level skyrocket. For further insights on forgiveness, check out Episode 208 that I did on the power of forgiveness. Fourth, tune into your surroundings. Let's face it, we're all guilty of getting lost in our own little bubbles. Break free. Pay attention to the world around you. Who needs a hand? Whose day can you brighten? Trust me.

Opportunities are everywhere. Five, shower compliments like confetti. Compliments are your magic wand. Wave them around like there's no tomorrow. Genuine words of appreciation? They're like little kindness bombs that explode in smiles. Six, small acts, big ripples. Never think that any act is too small to matter.

Remember what author Scott Adams said, there's no such thing as small acts of kindness. Every act sets off a ripple effect with no end in sight. So go ahead spread those ripples far and wide. Smile at someone, offer to run errands for a neighbor, walk a friend's dog, leave a tip for a waiter, or pay for someone's coffee. You'll discover that seemingly modest gestures have far reaching impact beyond what you can imagine. 7. Meditate Unkindness Meditation isn't just a relaxation tool as we discussed

with Judd Brewer yesterday. It's your backstage pass to the kindness show. A specific kind of meditation, loving kindness meditation, boost, positivity, and kindness. It's like giving your brain a superpower injection. For further insights on meditation practice, either check out episode 339 with Dr. Jed Brewer for my cello episode 160 on the benefits of meditation for transforming a mind and body. Bottom line kindness isn't a hobby. It's a way of life. And guess what? The more that you sprinkle it around, the more that it comes back to you. So gear up,

embrace the seven steps, and let's make this world a kinder place. Now it's your move. Which of the seven steps resonates most with you? I'd love it if you would share your thoughts. Let's dive in and cultivate a life that oozes with kindness. I've discussed a lot today, so let me wrap this up and give you some actionable advice. Here's the deal. Knowing stuff is great, but it's in the doing that magic happens. You've soaked in these insights. Now it's time to roll up your sleeves and spread some kindness.

It's not about holding on to this knowledge, like some prized possession. Nope, it's about living it. It's about turning the knowledge into actions, into real, tangible, everyday acts of kindness. From covering a meal's cost, to throwing out genuine compliments, from comforting the distressed, to making charitable gestures.

Your canvas is limitless. Kindness is in a one-time show, which your daily rhythm, your way of being. And guess what, it's not a resource strainer, it's a life enhancer. And here's the secret sauce. This isn't just about you. It's about the ripple effect.

Your kindness touching lives that you might never meet. It's about a world that becomes a better, happier place because of you. So I'm going to leave you with a mission. Say goodbye to indifference. Let's make kindness an instinct. A reflex. A part of who you are and watch as your everyday actions create a happier world for all of us. Be the change not someday but right now.

I hope you enjoyed that show and I wanted to thank everyone who wrote in this week and especially those who listened. Links to the transcript for today's show will be in the show notes. We are now on syndicated radio on the Brushwood Media Network and you can catch us Monday and Friday at 5 to 6 p.m. Eastern time on your evening commute. I have some exciting news that my new book, PassionStruck is now available for preorder. I've got some great preorder incentives that are going to be coming out and in the book you can learn all about the science of intentionality. Links will be in the show notes. Videos are on YouTube at both John R. Miles and PassionStruck Clips. Evertiser deals and discount codes are in one community place, at PassionStruck.com slash

deals. I'm on LinkedIn, where you can sign up for my LinkedIn newsletter. You can catch me at John R. Miles on all the other social platforms, or you can sign up on either John R. Miles or PassionStruck.com for my weekly newsletter. You're about to hear a preview of the passionstruck podcast interview that I did with Dr. Todd Rogers, a behavioral scientist and professor of public policy at Harvard University,

Todd, along with Jessica Lasky-Fink, has spent over three decades studying the science of writing. And together, they have authored the groundbreaking book writing for busy readers, communicate more effectively in the real world. Often when we start writing, we think we know what we're writing about. Literally, it could even be a text message.

And we think we know what we're writing. And as we write, it becomes clearer exactly what we're trying to accomplish. And it ends with a conclusion. That's the real key point. And we end with it. So writing to be fantastic for clarifying the way we think, helping us understand our own goals and what we end with it. So writing to be fantastic for clarifying the way we think,

that helping us understand our own goals and what we want to accomplish with our writing. Sometimes we confuse that for the final stage of writing. That is the end. It is not the end. That actually helps you realize what the point of writing activity was in the first place, which we then should rewrite everything through the lens

of now that I know what my goal was. Remember that we rise by lifting others. So share this show with those that you love. And if you found today's episode useful, then please share it with somebody who can use the advice that I gave here today. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so that you can look what you listen. Now go out there and become Ash and Strut.