Passion Struck with John R. Miles - 7 Secrets to Build Mental Strength w/ John R. Miles EP 57

Episode Date: August 27, 2021

In this episode, John breaks down his 7 secrets to build mental strength. He describes how mental strength is having the capacity to deal with stressors, fears, pressures, obstacles, and life challenges, regardless of the circumstances that you find yourself in. It is understanding that you are so much more powerful than you realize you are. Like this? Please subscribe, and join me on my new platform for peak performance, life coaching, and personal growth: https://passionstruck.com/. Thank you for Watching the Passion Struck podcast. In this powerful Momentum Friday Episode, John R Miles discusses why mentally strong people can adapt to new ways of thinking while also being able to unlearn self-limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns that no longer serve them and are not relevant anymore. New Interviews with the World's GREATEST high achievers will be posted every Tuesday with a Momentum Frida inspirational message! 7 Secrets to Build Mental Strength Show Notes 0:00 Show intro 2:52 What does it mean to have mental strength? 5:00 How do you become mentally strong? 5:49 Setting clear goals 8:00 Identify areas where you need to focus on yourself 10:26 Avoid the compare and despair trap 12:06 Practice self-gratitude 13:35 Set healthy boundaries 15:01 Surround yourself with positive influences 16:23 Practice self-kindness 17:37 Key Takeaways on becoming mentally strong ENGAGE WITH JOHN R. MILES * Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles * Leave a comment, 5-star rating (please!) * Support me: https://johnrmiles.com * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Johnrmiles.c0m​. * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles JOHN R. MILES * https://johnrmiles.com/my-story/ * Guides: https://johnrmiles.com/blog/ * Coaching: https://passionstruck.com/coaching/ * Speaking: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking-business-transformation/ * Gear: https://www.zazzle.com/store/passion_struck PASSION STRUCK *Subscribe to Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-passion-struck-podcast/id1553279283 *Website: https://passionstruck.com/ *About: https://passionstruck.com/about-passionstruck-johnrmiles/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/passionstruck *Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/

Welcome to episode 57 of the Passion Struck Podcast and today's momentum Friday episode. And I wanted to thank you so much for being here. I know that there are 2.6 million other podcasts that you could be listening to, so it means so much that you come in weekend and week out to check our podcast out. And if you have friends who don't know about the podcast, it would mean so much if you could share it with them. And if you love today's episode, please give it a five star rating. We passed a huge milestone recently of achieving over 1,000 five star ratings, which is a huge positive sign of our goal of making passion go viral for millions being on its way. I'm going to start today's episode with a quote from a recent guest, former Navy SEAL commander, Mark Devine, who said,

it takes discipline to focus only on high-value targets. Instead of giving into the temptation of the low-hanging fruit, life serves up daily. I picked that quote because it is a great lead-in to today's episode where I'm going to cover the seven secrets to build mental strength. Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders, and growth secrets of all types to the PassionStruck podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach, multi industry CEO, Navy Veteran, and entrepreneur on a mission to make passion go viral for millions worldwide. In each week, I do so by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing high achievers from all walks of life

to unlock their secrets and lessons to become an passion struck. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener. By giving you tips, tasks, and activities, you can use to achieve peak performance and for two, a passion-driven life you have always wanted to have now. Let's become passion-stuff. I want to start out today by asking you a question.

Do you quickly bounce back from personal failures and setbacks or is dealing with the harsh realities of life something that you have always struggled with. Can you pick yourself up and adapt to circumstances? Or do you find yourself completely taken back by the curve balls that life throws at you? Especially in times like today that are so chaotic and there's more uncertainty than ever.

Being able to withstand hardships and regulating your difficult emotions has become a crucial and essential requirement for living a passion-struck life and achieving peak performance. Mental strength is more important now than maybe it's ever been before. But how do you define mental strength? How do you achieve mental strength? What are the steps that you can take to become more mentally strong? All things I'm going to cover in today's episode. Now, let's take a look at what it means to have mental strength. I have always defined mental strength is having that capacity to deal with

stressors, fears, pressures, obstacles, and life challenges, regardless of the circumstances that you find yourself in, it is understanding that you are so much more powerful than you realize you are. Mentally strong people can adapt to new ways of thinking while also being able to unlearn self-livening beliefs and negative thought patterns that no longer serve them and are not relevant anymore. Mentally strong people only compete against themselves and don't let other people,

especially toxic ones, failures or circumstances, define their self-worth. They don't need approval to feel capable, because their opinion of themselves matters more to them than anything else. They set realistic and long-term goals and don't rely on external motivation to move forward in life. They realize that if you are going to achieve your goals

that along the way, it can be scary. You can have very uncertain times, but they realize that with each struggle, it allows them to gain more strength. They are brave enough to go against the flow, have their own sense of their personal core values, which matter the most to them, and stand apart even in the face of opposition or rejection

to reach their goals, to put it simply, mentally strong people, are self-sufficient individuals. They train themselves to bravely face the difficulties that life presents, develop the confidence to know that they can step into their sharp edges, overcome their fears, adapt to different circumstances, say focused on their goals, believe in themselves,

and pick themselves up when life puts them down. So now that you understand what it means to have mental strength, how do you become mentally strong? Mental strength is not something you're born with. Instead, it's something that you have to develop over time with effort and self-discipline. You get mentally strong by getting in tune with your body, your emotions, and your mindset. Ultimately, it's changing your outlook on life to one of possibility and positivity, even in the face of immense challenges. Like physical exercise, anyone can build mental strength and resilience

by training themselves and putting in the time and effort. However, it doesn't happen in one day. It takes a series of daily actions as well as intentions to get you there. So what are some things that you can do right now to become more mentally strong? Here are seven practical methods that I've used myself that will help you

gain in mental strength. The first is set clear goals and be clear on what you want in life. Before you start your journey, you have to decide what your destination is going to be. This is something I call creating your personal contract with yourself. Other people say to create a vision board,

whatever it is could be a bucket list. You need to create a document that you can put in front of yourself that has long-term goals and aspirations for the life you want to have in the future. It's critical because you need to know what you want and why it's worth the daily actions and effort that you're gonna take to achieve it.

Only then will you have a strong enough will to evade whatever life throws at you to reach that goal. Most people fail to develop mental strength because they don't know what they want or follow something that they're not interested in. Following meaningless goals will get you nowhere. So be true to yourself and pursue things that genuinely interest you. Following your dreams does not mean you will always be happy. There will be tough times. There always are when you're pursuing your goal of becoming passion struck. But by becoming mentally strong, you will have willpower at your disposal. And that's because mentally strong people know that in order to achieve something great, they have to work at their goals,

despite not having motivation all the time and not always constantly being in a happy place. For them, happiness is a bonus. And they realize that they don't always have to be happy to push themselves to move forward every time. Whether it's a professional goal, learning a milestone, a health standard, your relationship, or whatever, if you are pursuing something that truly matters to you and gives your life meaning, you will automatically be more inclined to put in the effort, overcome obstacles, and pick yourself up whenever you face challenges. The second step is to identify specific areas that you would like to change in your life, and then start working on them one by one. Every person is different, and we each have our own set of strengths and weaknesses.

Start by identifying and directly working on your weaknesses. For example, you could be an empathetic person. Still, you might face difficulty when it comes to asserting your needs. So you can highlight that one area of your life where you face the most trouble and start working on it by reading books, looking at YouTube videos, talking to friends that you trust, or engaging in exercises that help you to become more assertive. Similarly, see all portions of your life that

regularly cause you problems. It could be unresolved trauma, the inability to stay calm and stressful situations, an addiction to alcohol or drugs, or anything that is damaging to your mental health. Instead of continuing to be a victim of them, make actionable plans and start improving them one by one so that you can develop a resistance to your stressors over time, but it is so important that you break them down into manageable steps. And as I often say, with each action that you take, you start stacking one upon another.

And before you know it, your life will shift in so many ways. Did you know that Forbes Magazine recently cited that 70% of individuals who do personal development masterminds and one-on-one coaching benefited from better work performance, increased communication skills, and overall better relationships. And we, at PassionStruck, are obsessed with self-development, coaching, and mentorship. That is why we've created a free resource to help you unlock your hidden potential. Because people doing great things in business and life are just like you,

only they've had a coach along the way. And we've got that covered too. Let us show you the systems and frameworks that we teach, both minded individuals, to help them step into their sharp edges, execute on their passion journeys, and get predictable results time and time again. Go to passionstruck.com slash coaching right now and let's get igniting. Third, avoid the compare and despair trap and understand that because each of us are unique, we all have a different journey. Don't let the successes or privileges of others demotivate you from your path. Your only reason to look at the lives of others should be to take on inspiration and not base your self-worth on how little or how much

someone else has. Making comparisons with other people's lives is a sure-fired recipe for damaging your self-esteem and draining your mental strength. There's always going to be someone that appears happier, better, more successful than how you imagine yourself. If you rely on comparisons to feel good in life, you will always end up short. Another reason why comparisons are harmful is that they are

completely unrealistic. We often compare someone else's outside world with our inside world. Everyone has their own challenges and struggles in life, but people rarely show it on the outside. Instead, they like to paint a picture of someone who appears to be successful. In some ways, they may be better than you are, but in so many other ways, they are likely struggling so much with the inner demons that are confronting them.

When you come to the realization that everyone faces difficulties and we're all on a different journey, you no longer see your life as unfair. You don't let the success of others demotivate you and you understand that the only person that you can realistically compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Fourth, be grateful and acknowledge all the good things in your life. Gratitude, like happiness and like kindness are choices we always have. We become so consumed by the bad things in life that we completely ignore the good parts and fail to realize that despite our hardships, life is good in so many ways and we have so much to be grateful for.

A gentleman I used to work with at Lo's named Steve Sylogy put it to me this way. He said when people asked him how he was doing, he used to tell them I'm okay, I'm fair, et cetera. And he realized that by himself giving those statements, he was causing his mind to feel that way. Instead, he chose to start telling people, I'm outstanding, I'm incredible.

I'm having the best day I've ever had. And it brought so much more positivity into his life. And he became more successful overall by just taking that small step, which is a great reminder of the fact that you have food, you have shelter, you have good friends, you have your health, the core blessings in life. It's so important that we keep ourselves balanced and don't let hardships or let downs get inside our hearts. Being grateful improves your mood, gives you hope and often serves as a tool

to look at the bright side of life. When at times it can be as if our plans are all going against us. Fifth, practice self-care and set healthy founders. Taking care of yourself is so important because if you don't, no one else is going to do it for you. Self-care doesn't mean that you become selfish. It simply means that you put your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing first.

It's choosing a life that doesn't go against your morals, or one that is harmful to your overall health and well-being. If you commit to something that doesn't sit right with you, you will only end up sacrificing a crucial part of your happiness and the peace that you have in life. To become mentally strong, we have to make changes to both your inside and the outside world. This often means getting rid of toxic people or influences that are impacting both. That could mean saying no to something that doesn't matter to you or an activity that is keeping you from pursuing your dreams. Cutting off those relationships with toxic people

that are making your life miserable. It's choosing professions that align with your morals, eating a good diet, getting weekly, if not daily exercise, getting therapy if needed, and sharing problems with close friends, prioritizing and making choices to take care of yourself allows you to nurture your well-being and thus increase your mental strength. Sixth, surround yourself with positive people. As the saying goes, your life's direction is the average of the five people that you spend most of your time with. While we may choose to make individual decisions, we can't ignore the fact that the people that we spend the most time with

have the most significant influence on our behaviors, belief, and attitude. And they are so critical into our overall self-esteem and self-care. If you surround yourself with negative, unmotivated, or resentful people, I can tell you right now that they will bring you down. They will deplete your energy, distract you from achieving your goals, and inhibit your ability to explore new and exciting possibilities. That's why I say it is so critical that you conduct a mosquito audit of those people, those influences,

those actions that are keeping you from pursuing your dreams and aspirations. On the other hand, having positive, resilient, practical, and successful people around you will start to bring these qualities into your life as well. So filter your circle, do that mosquito audit, and prioritize the company you're with. Those things will help keep you motivated, keep you on a positive journey, and help you not only become better, but feel better about yourself. Seventh, and maybe most important, is be positive with yourself and remember all your successes. I recently did another interview with Travbell who calls himself the Bucket List guy, and

we talked about the concept of a reverse bucket list, a concept that I really love. Because when you do a reverse bucket list, what you are creating is a done list. It's documenting all the things that you have already done in your life, which can be so powerful to your self-esteem and your self-confidence. It's so important that we don't be unnecessarily harsh on ourselves

and give yourself credit where credit is due. The first step in being kind to others is being kind with yourself. Even if you fail, don't let it define you, let it strengthen you. In times of hardship, go back to that done list and remind yourself of your accomplishments, your successes, and how proud you are of your past achievements. The good things about yourself are there to remind you that you did in the past achievements. The good things about yourself are there to remind you that you did in the past what probably seemed impossible to you at

that point in time. So there's no reason why you can't take on additional challenges and even greater challenges in your life. So now that we've gone through those seven steps, let me give you the key takeaways from today's episode. Focusing and improving on an area of your life, it could be just a single one, can take you from ordinary to extraordinary. You don't have to change everything about yourself. It could be one thing and from there,

you move on to another and then to another. That concept of action stacking that I mentioned earlier in the episode, often the only person who is holding us back from living that passion-driven life that we want so badly is the person who's looking at us in the mirror. That person who criticizes that image that they see, which allows self-limiting beliefs and setbacks to take hold of us.

You have the power within you to change that, to build mental strength each and every day. Because when we start strengthening our minds, it starts to work with us instead of against us. Implementing the strategies that I mentioned throughout this episode can help you find the missing key that unlocks your true potential. Get you on this path to becoming passion struck. And it can serve as that one huge leap

you take towards making the choice that you are going to change your life for the better. And I hope this episode today brings you inspiration. If there are other topics that you would like to hear, please DM me at John R. Miles on Instagram. And if you haven't checked out our YouTube channel, you can also go there at John R. Miles where you will find hundreds of videos that can help you overcome adversity, achieve peak performance, work on health and wellness, focus on entrepreneurial pursuits and so much more. Remember, you have it within you to become passion struck. And I know you can do it.