Passion Struck with John R. Miles - 8 Ways To Get Comfortable Doing Uncomfortable Things And Growing Through Them EP 72

Episode Date: October 15, 2021

In today's episode, John R Miles discusses 8 ways to get comfortable doing uncomfortable things and growing through them. When we get comfortable being uncomfortable, we put ourselves in situations where we force ourselves to address our self-limiting beliefs. You might even actively pursue activities you never thought you would. Huge thanks to Podcorn for sponsoring this episode. Explore sponsorship opportunities and start monetizing your podcast by signing up here: https://podcorn.com/podcasters/. Like this? Please subscribe, and join me on my new platform for peak performance, life coaching, and personal growth: https://passionstruck.com/. Are you interested in having John R. Miles as a keynote speaker at your next event? Enquire today about his speaker fee and availability. Thank you for listening to the Passion Struck podcast. New Interviews with the World's GREATEST high achievers will be posted every Tuesday with a Momentum Friday inspirational message! GET COMFORTABLE DOING UNCOMFORTABLE THINGS SHOW NOTES 0:00 Show Intro 2:29 Are you feeling hopeless or complacent? 3:30 It's is normal to fear being uncomfortable 5:00 What is the comfort zone? 5:46 8 ways to become comfortable being uncomfortable 6:23 Clear your mind and initiate 7:58 Observe and write down your progress 9:25 Do not give up 11:48 Find out what really drives you 13:03 Failure is ok 14:44 Treat yourself for the progress you make 15:30 Make others part of your discomfort journey 17:04 You have to own your discomfort 18:20 Steps you can take to put these tips into action RESOURCES FROM THE SHOW *How to Ask for Advice: https://youtu.be/EAbe2LweM90 *The Power of Choice: https://youtu.be/Btipq-S07Eg *Atomic Habits Book: https://bookshop.org/a/61530/9780735211292 *Box Breathing Techniques: https://youtu.be/GZzhk9jEkkI *Breathing for Beginners: https://youtu.be/0BNejY1e9ik ENGAGE WITH JOHN R. MILES * Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles * Leave a comment, 5-star rating (please!) * Support me: https://johnrmiles.com * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Johnrmiles.c0m. * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles ABOUT JOHN R. MILES * https://johnrmiles.com/my-story/ * Guides: https://johnrmiles.com/blog/ * Coaching: https://passionstruck.com/coaching/ * Speaking: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking-business-transformation/ * Gear: https://www.zazzle.com/store/passion_struck PASSION STRUCK *Subscribe to Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-passion-struck-podcast/id1553279283 *Website: https://passionstruck.com/ *About: https://passionstruck.com/about-passionstruck-johnrmiles/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/passionstruck *Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Passion Struck Podcast and thank you so much for being here. I love, love, love it when I get to sit down and do these solo episodes for you. Now I get to channel and transfer my positive energy to each and every one of you as you're walking your dog, doing chores in the house, doing yard work or whatever it may be. Thank you for choosing Passion Struck and choosing me to be your guide and host. I have been seeing some incredible reviews on the podcast and I am so thankful for each and every one of you who has left one as they are so inspirational and proves to us that we are helping our audience go from being passion-stuck to unstoppable.

Today's episode is something that I feel is very important. I got the inspiration for this episode from a series of recent interviews I did during the month of September with Navy SEAL veterans. Today's topic is all about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. But throughout our lives, we have been conditioned to do just the opposite. We want to postpone or avoid the uncomfortable. We create lives where we go about our daily routines,

our rituals, our habits, avoiding the very things that benefit us when we do that uncomfortable work and truly focus on our own self-narrative. When we sit with the challenges, the pain, suffering, tolerance, whatever it may be, so I'm going to unpack all of that in today's episode and so much more. Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders, and growth seekers of all types to the Passion Struck podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a Pete Performance Coach, Malti Industries CEO, Navy Veteran, and Entrepreneur on a mission to make

Passion Go viral for millions worldwide. In each week, I do so by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing high achievers from all walks of life to unlock their secrets and lessons to become an passion struck. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener. By giving you tips, tasks, and activities, you can use to achieve peak performance and for two, a passion-driven life you have always wanted to have. And now let's become passion-struck. Do you ever find yourself stuck in your circumstances? You're disengaged at work, unhappy with where your life is currently at, and overall you might be

having a feeling of hopelessness or just utter complacency. You watch your friends and others on social media or whatever it may be building their lives. And you wonder, what are they doing that I am not? And how can I change my life from where it's at right now? Are you afraid to do something that you haven't done before or is hopping out of your comfort zone worrisome? Does doing something new make you think twice and sounds like such a bad idea

that you eventually give up on it, even before you've hit midstream and taking action? Well, I can't blame you. The majority of people feel exactly the same way. We get so used to our comfort zones that we have forgotten how to approach things that make us feel uncomfortable. Let's face it, whether in the storm has never been easy. You must realize that growth and discomfort follow that same exact path. You won't feel any progress at all.

If you keep doing the same habits, same rituals, same activities, hang out with the same people over and over and over again. As Peter McWilliams once said, comfort zones are most expanded through discomfort. And I am well aware that that is so much easier said than done. It takes willpower and courage to step outside of your self-limiting beliefs and doing something that you are afraid of doing, thinking that you may fail. Get rejected or end up letting people down. And I can tell you from personal experience, as I have been writing the manuscript for Passion Struck, that I have faced failure, denial, refusal,

rejection at almost every corner of my journey into publishing. But you know what? I could let them all get me down, or I can choose to move forward in discomfort and with the conviction that I'm on to something here, something that can change people's lives that needs to see the light of day. Just as with that example, the most effective thing that you can do

is get comfortable with being uncomfortable. But how do you do that? I'm going to provide you eight ways. I coach my clients on how to do just that. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. But before we start going through these eight different ways, I think it is extremely important to understand what the comfort zone really is. Basically, the comfort zone is a state of mind

in which we feel at ease with the familiar and live in complacency with our current situation. We feel like we are in sync with our environment and in total control of everything. However, in many ways it is just the opposite. We are just in control of feeling complacent and stuck where we are today. So here are eight ways that will help you get outside of this state,

remove the comfort zone from your vocabulary, and help you move to creating an unstoppable life. So the first one is in order to start getting discomfortable, you need to clear your mind and initiate doing uncomfortable things. Everything starts by making a choice. And if you haven't heard my episode on the Power of Choice, it's one of the most popular ones I have ever done. And my article that accompanies it, which is on medium,

is one of my most read articles. Because let's face it, it all starts by making the choice that you're willing to accept discomfort. Every time something new and challenging comes up, take a deep breath, calm yourself, get rid of negative thoughts, and think about how good it's gonna feel when you get done. Now, the most challenging part of all of it is to initiate,

and the best way to do that initiation is by starting with something small. Starting something can often be difficult because you're doing it somewhat against your will and comfort. But once you have taken that first step and made the choice, a large part of the work is already done.

Yes, I know doing something for the first time can really feel like a drag. It's unpleasant, but isn't almost anything that you do that is hard, just like that. When you first start, you start a new routine. It feels terrible at first. You start a new exercise routine. It's dreadfully tiring, and you have to force yourself to go change your sleep habits. At first, it's exhausting and I could go on and on, but you get the point. Everything works out eventually. Once you create a habit loop around it,

and if you haven't read the book, Atomic Habits, it is a great book on how you create these habit loops. Because the more you start stacking those habits, or as I often say, actions, the more progress you're going to, whereas I often say actions, the more progress you're gonna make and the easier it will become. So trust me, it is really worth it.

As Katie Davis said, Courage isn't about knowing the path. It's about taking the first step. Now, the second way that you can confront being comfortable and doing uncomfortable things is to observe and write down your progress. When you feel uncomfortable and confused, you need to address it head on.

One way to do that is to write about it. Let your stress and tension out by journaling about those feelings that you're having, about those inner demons, those self-limiting beliefs that are causing you to not want to move forward. Writing is a great way to release that pressure and helps you sketch a clear picture of what you have done, but more importantly, what more needs to be done. This helps you grow your confidence and as a result builds momentum. Check your progress. You will find that you are not the same

as you were before. You have improved. You are making steps to change your life. You'll know it because you'll start seeing results from those tiny steps that you started to take. Momentum will start to build. It will feel like you were pushing a car and it's starting to go from being an uphill battle to starting to be a flat road. And before it, it'll feel like you're going down a hill. This will surely boost your confidence and enthusiasm, allowing you to face that discomfort that you found so hard to tackle before. The third way to do uncomfortable things is to not give up. It's human nature that we want to explore our potential and find out what we are truly capable of achieving. But when it comes to situations

where you aren't comfortable or familiar with the task at hand, you start to question your ability, your potential, and your overall ability to accomplish it. You often sit there and ask yourself, why am I even attempting this? I've never done this before. I don't know how to do it. There is no way I can do something that I'm not familiar with. The thing you have to remember is everyone thinks that way at some point. But here's the thing. The trick you have to remember is everyone thinks that way at some point. But here's the thing, the trick is to not give up. You start something and maybe at first

you don't see a lot of progress. It's okay. When I started this podcast for the first couple months, I wasn't seeing the growth in the audience that I was hoping for. It would have been so easy to give up and abandon the idea. I wasn't yet comfortable interviewing guests. I wasn't comfortable doing these solo episodes. Everything was feeling hard, but I made the decision not to give up. And now 130,000 downloads later, we are gaining momentum just like you will as well if you don't give up on this journey of becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable. So let me give you some advice.

If you're feeling anxious, if you're feeling that this is causing you tons of emotion, pause and take a moment to slow down, take a deep breath. When we get into this fight or flight mode, it is so important to just keep going. And I know when you're moving fast or anxious, your heartbeat is racing, and it can cause you to feel panic. This is where it is so critical to learn some coping skills and breathing exercises are a great way to start. And I will make sure I will put some resources in the show notes around different breathing techniques that you can use. The important thing to realize is you will get there eventually.

Once you get out of your bubble, you will face challenges. They're necessary challenges. They are challenges that will be the cause of your growth. And when you make it, you'll look back and say, I am so glad I took a step outside of my comfort zone. So the fourth way you can get uncomfortable doing uncomfortable things is to find out what really drives you. Indeed, doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable

takes courage. That is why so many people tend to give up on it at the beginning of their journey. So you must know why you wanna do it. What is that burning change that you wanna make? And what exactly is it that drives you? It's essential to know this because when someone is about to give up, the question that comes up in their mind is always, why am I doing this? Why am I putting myself through this?

So when that time comes, we have better have a clear answer to it. That's why it is so vital to ask yourself, am I making this change out of pride, out of acceptance, to test my abilities, to improve, or something else? Whatever the reason is, it must be enough to keep you going all the way despite the challenges that come up. My advice to you is to start things on your own. Don't always rely on others to set the stage and keep reminding yourself, once you've made that choice, it's your decision. There is no going back to the way that you used to be. The fifth way to start doing uncomfortable things is to know that it is okay to fail.

And I think this is one of the most important lessons. It is understandable that when you are doing uncomfortable things, you are going to doubt yourself. And on top of that, the fear of failure can really take over and engulf you. That is precisely when you need to get a hold of yourself. Fear a failure is going to make you think of different ways that you can escape and prevent you from facing any forms of humiliation or possibly embarrassment. Do you know how many navy seals I have served with and spoken to? That tell me failure is the only way

to achieve peak performance. That is because it is only through failing fast and failing often, that we make adjustments and improve. Don't give in to that fear. Instead, learn ways to fight it. Limit your options by telling yourself, it needs to happen, whether you succeed or fail. Learn to accept failure and take it as what it is,

a learning experience, and a way for you to become better. As Albert Einstein wrote, a person who never made a mistake, never tried anything new. It is okay to fail, rather than giving in to the fear and not doing it at all. At the end of the day, at least you tried and you learned something new. That's all it takes. Sooner or later, your experience will help you and you will find yourself comfortable in uncomfortable situations because you have done the hard work to get through them. The sixth way to do uncomfortable things

may not be one that you're expecting, but I call it treating yourself. You are doing something that takes guts and hard work. You are leaving your present circumstances to improve yourself. Not everyone can do it. In fact, most can't. So let yourself know that you deserve it

by treating yourself to a fine meal, new clothes, a cup of coffee, maybe a trip to somewhere nice, whatever it is, reward yourself on your journey. This will encourage you to keep going, gives you things to look forward to achieving, and will cause you to feel so glad that you took that step outside of your comfort zone and became a better version of yourself.

The seventh way is to make others part of your discomfort journey. This road is demanding and challenging, but that doesn't mean you have to go through it all alone. Let your friends and family in on everything that you're trying to do. Share with them your success and failures. I recently did a great episode all around this

on how do you best ask for advice. If you haven't had a chance to listen to it, that would be a great episode for you to go back and listen to. Leave your ego at the door and focus on being present and being vulnerable to the feedback that you're seeking. You tried something, perhaps it didn't work out.

So what? Be part of the conversation. Share your experiences because I guarantee you you're not the only one who's experienced failure and learn from others. Always remember that being a good student is essential on your self-growth journey. If you don't know something, just ask someone who does or who has experienced it before.

If you're in a workplace, that may mean sitting down with a colleague who may be going through the same change that you are. Share your ideas and experiences with them. Be a good storyteller. It will help you get rid of feeling that you're isolated and also give you a platform to encourage others and get help and encouragement back from them.

Stay open to advice and keep interacting with people along your path because you will never know what or who may age you in your journey. And finally, the eighth and maybe the most important is you have to own your discomfort. To get comfortable with discomfort, I have the saying that you must step into your sharp edges every day. Do something daily that scares you

and get used to being uncomfortable. Through this daily habit alone, you may even start to crave discomfort. I know I do. Those who become passion struck are never satisfied with where they are today. Instead, these innovators are focused on constant improvement. Escape your little bubble, find pleasure in the thrill of discomfort, and instead of complaining about it, look at it as a blessing. Because it's there to bring improvement in you. Converting uncomfortable things into comfortable things

is a skill set that you can master by doing it repeatedly until it becomes your second nature. As Tony Robbins said, repetition is the mother of skill. So now that I've given you those eight ways, As Tony Robbins said, repetition is the mother of skill. So now that I've given you those eight ways, let's talk about now some steps that you can take to put them into practice immediately. My first big piece of advice here would be to start slow

and don't rush things. Because if you take that approach, you may get off to a quick start, but in the end, peter out because it becomes too much too fast. Take one step at a time. These little improvements are massive. They build over time and culminate in making a huge difference.

An example of a small improvement that you could take is the simple act of making your bed in the morning or stop watching the daily news and instead start journaling. By starting small with examples like these, it will help you build up your confidence so that you can move on to the next change you need to make. Document your progress, reward yourself, and continuously remind yourself of what is driving you to do what you are doing.

It will motivate you and keep you going. Even if you fail, don't let that fear take over, because fear destroys more dreams than failure ever will. What better way to learn than by nature itself? Take a tiny insect, for example. It gets rid of its exoskeleton, allowing its body to expand and grow. And the same way, you need to get rid of its exoskeleton, allowing its body to expand and grow. And the same way you need to get rid of your shell, that box we put around

ourselves by doing so, it would allow you to also grow, experience new things and learn. Once you start following these steps, you will find your passion journey. Because if you are here today, you are already working on it. And I hope today's episode has given you inspiration that you can learn and grow from. And if there's other topics that you would like to hear or guess that you would like to see me interview, I've had a few requests on both fronts recently.

Please DM me on Instagram, a Passion Start podcast. And if you haven't checked out our YouTube channel yet, please go to John Armiles, where we have over 6,000 subscribers and over 190 different videos to give you a daily dose of inspiration. These range from being full episodes, like the one I'm doing today, to being bite-sized chunks of information that we call mindset moments, which are two to five minutes long.

They're all grouped into playlists to help this be more digestible for you based on the topic that you are seeking. Thank you is always for joining us. Now, go out there yourself and become PassionStruck. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make Passion Go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the PassionStruck podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to your podcasts at. And if you absolutely love this episode, we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes,

and you're sharing it with three of your most growth-minded friends, so they can post it as well to their social accounts and help us grow our passion start community. If you'd like to learn more about the show and our mission, you can go to passionstruck.com where you can sign up for our newsletter, look at our tools, and also download the show notes for today's episode. Additionally, you can listen to us every Tuesday and Friday for even more inspiring content. And remember, make a choice, work hard, and step into your sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us.

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