Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Abigail Barnes On: Turn Your Time Into Productivity EP 38

Starting point is 00:00:00 When you understand what you're doing with your time and you track it and you audit it, then it gives you power to start to make decisions and choices because then you can see how much time you'd have then left for your life. And we're born to live. We're not born to work. We're not born to be here working 14, 16 hour days, taking two weeks off for a holiday in that's your life. Hello, Visionaries, Creators, Innovators, entrepreneurs, and leaders of all types. Hi, my name is John Miles and I wanted to welcome you to this episode of the Passion Start Podcast, where it is my job to interview high achievers from all walks of life and unlock their secrets and lessons to become a passion start.

Starting point is 00:00:41 The purpose of our show is to serve you a listener. By giving you lessons, tools, and activities that you can use to achieve a passion-driven life, now let the journey begin. Welcome to episode 38 of the Passion Struck Podcast with our guest Abigail Barnes. And today we're gonna talk to you about effective time management skills

Starting point is 00:01:03 who increase your efficiency and that pursuit your passion driven life. I want to start out today's episode with two quotes. The first is from John Maxwell who said, The secret of your success is found in your daily routine. And the second quote is from Miles Davis who said, Time isn't the main thing, it's the only thing. And those are both so applicable to today's lesson, where you're going to hear from Abigail about the life event that completely changed her outlook

Starting point is 00:01:28 Not only on the way she lives her life, but on the importance of time and why time management became such a passion for her We are then going to unpack her 888 formula that she is using to teach leaders all around the world around how to make their time more effective and going after their most important goals that they want to attain, and so much more in this interview. But let me tell you a little bit more about Abigail Barnes. She is the founder of Success by Design Training an award-winning author, entrepreneur, speaker,

Starting point is 00:01:59 and corporate trainer on time management and productive well-being. She is a qualified coach and creator of the renowned 888 formula that I talked about earlier. The Cessna's design training is on a mission to share this formula with over a million people by 2025 and they want to help entrepreneurs and individuals improve their work-life balance and reclaim an hour a day. Also, she just recently released a new book

Starting point is 00:02:25 about prime management for entrepreneurs and professionals. And we're gonna talk about that and so much more. Now, let the journey begin. I have a gal. I wanted to welcome you so much to the PassionStark podcast. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here. Yeah, I think your story is such an interesting one for our listeners, and I wanted to start by you telling them the story of your early life and specifically your days and university and then how that transitioned into your career and finance. Yeah, so I always wanted to be a business owner, but I didn't know what to do in the only example that I had with people like Richard Branson and you know others of that. I wish

Starting point is 00:03:11 along if you like. So I went to university and studied business and marketing at a university called Oxford Brooks and I absolutely loved it. I loved the course, I loved the people and I loved learning. And when I finished my degree, I was very fortunate that I actually had a job in the city, in the financial district, in London, working for an investment bank. And I love that, and I love the people, and I loved what I did, but there was always something

Starting point is 00:03:40 in me that wanted to do something else. So I then sort of throughout my career, you know, changed and tried different jobs, tried different sectors. I worked in investment management, asset management, hedge funds. I even did a transformation project for High Street Bank, but it was never quite what I felt I was looking for. If I say I felt like I had a hole in my soul, maybe that will make sense to your listeners, but that's kind of where I was. So what you mean by that is you were kind of going through the motion, you were doing these different jobs, but you felt as if something

Starting point is 00:04:14 was missing, your true calling was missing. Yeah, totally. So I think so many of the listeners can relate to that. And I relate to it personally, because for many years, I felt the same exact way. And I got to a point where it was because for many years I felt the same exact way and I got to a point where it was getting hard to wake up in the morning and actually go to work because I was feeling so burned out for one but second that I was spending all this time you know helping this company achieve it it streams but I really wasn't focusing on working on mine and so that was starting to frustrate me more and more. Did you feel kind of the same? Yeah, and if I sort of look back to that period of time, like the late 90s, early 90s, I would have sort of been saying to myself things in my head like, what's the point?

Starting point is 00:04:59 I don't understand what I'm here to do. You know, don't get me wrong. I wasn't, it wasn't suicidal ideation, but very much just has always been a narrative of why am I here. So I was good at what I did. I got it done, you know, I ticked all the boxes, I had all the clothes, I did all the things, but I chased Prada, parties, Prosecco, and it just, it felt like nothing. Until then one day my boss said, Abigail, we're going to send you want to work business trip we're flying a business class to Boston and that was it John I thought I'd made it. Well and before we get to that pinnacle moment I just wanted to go back on a couple of things that you you just talked about. I refer to this as people living a portfolio career where they kind of keep going from job to job never fulfilled, but feeling that they're stuck because whether it's they've received this education that they have and feel that it's going to be too

Starting point is 00:05:49 difficult to learn something else, or maybe they started in something that they thought was going to be their passion and it turns out not to be, but now they're earning an income level that gives them a nice comfortable life with the house, the car, whatever it may be, and except for why do you think it's difficult for people to pull themselves out of that track? So many of us get into this is such an amazing question. And I love that you've asked this, because if I look back to who I was prior to my wake up call that I'm sure we'll discuss in a minute, to where I am right now, I would

Starting point is 00:06:22 say it quite literally is the difference between having a fixed mindset and having a gross mindset. Now I'm sure your audience are familiar with the work of Carol Dwyerk who has an amazing TED talk on this, if you've not seen it, definitely check it out. You always do what you've always done based on what you know. So there's nothing right or wrong with where we are, it just is what it is. But so if I was to look back to who I was prior to this wake-up call, I had a very fixed mindset that this was the path, this was the only way parents, that came from society, that came from religion. It was just reinforced of these are the rules. John, I've never really liked to accept rules. I would kind of say that to your audience, if you can become an scientist in your own life and question everything within the limits of what you're

Starting point is 00:07:21 able to question, but start to ask yourself, how does this feel? Does this feel authentic to me? Does this feel like what I want to do? And if it doesn't, what can you change? And the quality of your questions dictates the quality of your life. But I just want to clarify for the audience, I did not have this level of awareness or self-awareness prior to my wake-up. So do you have to have a dramatic wake-up? I don't believe so. You just have to have a desire to believe that there must be another way

Starting point is 00:07:53 and then just to be courageous enough to investigate what is the other way. Yeah, sometimes I refer to it as, I think we are all filled with these beliefs and I think that's what you were bringing up. And it starts with kind of the zip code you were born into, your family situation, and those early influences that are around you. And because of that, it morphs our mind into what we think we're capable of doing. It kind of puts us in this box of we think we can survive in this box,

Starting point is 00:08:21 but we can't attain things out of it. And I often talk about one of the most important things is learning to set aside those beliefs and start focusing on your values because your values will lead you to where you want to go, which we're going to get to here in a moment with you. So they don't really understand how they can get over those what you call fixed mind sets and really your constant learning, learning a new path to really step into what I call their sharp edges and lead the life that they're meant to live. And I called this, I recently did a podcast episode on it that people are living a pinball life. And instead of playing the game, they're letting the game play them.

Starting point is 00:09:02 And they let all the distractions and everything else similar to the game in life encompass their life instead of playing it with intentionality in the way that they need to. So with that as a backdrop, you're now in your early 30s, you get this amazing opportunity to go on this business trip to Boston, which you think is going to really establish the next chapter of your professional career and then out of the blue, the most unexpected thing happens to you. What was that? So 24 hours after I arrived in Boston, collected from the airport by my friend, taken to her parents' house, we have dinner, Boston clam chowder, I wake up with a headache and find myself in a hospital being woken up by a doctor and

Starting point is 00:09:48 being told that at the age of 32, I'd had a stroke. Oh my gosh. So how did it just come out of nowhere? I mean, what happened when you were at your friends that led up to this? Yeah. So to backtrack then, I wake up on the Saturday morning. So I arrive on the Friday night, wake up on the Saturday morning with a headache, which wasn't to be unexpected.

Starting point is 00:10:09 I'd, you know, consumed some champagne on the flights and wine at dinner. And I, John, just thought it was a headache. And then the symptoms got progressively worse very, very quickly. Black and white lights are flashing in front of my eyes. I felt physically sick. I couldn't make it to the bathroom. And at the point that I was being sick in a dustbin, her mother walked past the door and said, are you okay? And I said, have you ever had a migraine like this where you feel sick?

Starting point is 00:10:38 She said no, I'm calling an ambulance. So at that time, in those moments, I felt like the worst guest ever, and I felt like it was a little bit dramatic that she was calling an ambulance, but two minutes later, when I couldn't move physically, I was paralyzed and I couldn't breathe. I was grateful that she had called the ambulance because then the ambulance crew came crashing into the room, took me off to the hospital to go for a load of tests to actually find out what had happened. And it took them 24 hours and CT scans and MRI scans to ascertain that that had actually happened because at the beginning that they were wondering if I was drunk or on drugs. Because these sorts of things just don't happen to a physically well 32 year old. Yeah, and before this, she were very active, social active, physical active, intellectual active, so we're going to. I still have 26 miles a week. Every single day I get up religiously and run. I don't only take Sundays off. And so physically, I was totally there. And this kind of goes to show

Starting point is 00:11:44 that you never know what's going on underneath the surface. So there was a medical reason for the stroke, but if there hadn't been a medical reason, I probably would have burnt out just from not really sleeping as much as my body needed me to and all our bodies need us to and just eating for convenience rather than eating the right foods for fuel, which I do now. So, yeah. Well, I can relate to you from the standpoint of a little bit about what you were going through,

Starting point is 00:12:13 because for years I've suffered from chronic migraines, but I do get the ones where they became become incapacitating to the point where I do feel nauseous and the world is spinning and everything like that. And it is a very scary feeling because when that happens, you're just completely incapacitated. Everything, in my case, bothers me from noise to light to everything. And I eventually just have to you know, curl up for hours until it kind of passes. So if you had never experienced that before, and yours was far worse, I can just imagine for you what was going through your head. So how long did it determine or how long did it take for them to determine what caused the stroke, was it an immediate thing

Starting point is 00:12:56 or did it take some time? So they had the MRI scan. So after this doctor wakes me up to tell me you've had a stroke, my first thought is what about my meetings and the doctors aren't so as you're going to the intensive care don't worry about your meetings, but all I could think about was work. So they had the MRI scans and then they did tests over the week that I was in the hospital just to sort of rule every single thing out. like, was there a hole in my heart? Did I actually have blood clots in other parts of my body, et cetera, et cetera? It turned out that I'd had a knock on my neck at some point, which had led to blood clots, which, and the chances of this stroke that I had happening are one in a million.

Starting point is 00:13:35 Well, so in Boston, your thousands of miles away from home, you probably feel a little bit embarrassed because of what happened with your friend. You don't know what to tell your work. I mean, what was going through your mind at this moment? Yeah, I mean, this is crazy. So, and you summed it up so well. So, after this, you would expect the person to be sort of infused with gratitude. I've got a second chance. This is amazing. Let's go out there and take on the world. But the reality is that in those first few days after any life-changing situation that anyone's ever had, you're just struck by, what does this mean?

Starting point is 00:14:12 Who am I now? What will people think about me? So my rehabilitation to get out of the hospital, they sort of discharged me within a week and then flew me back to the UK. But it really took probably about nine months before I could actually go back to work again. So I was rehabilitated back to work,

Starting point is 00:14:30 went back to the job, but it just never, I never felt connected to it. Again, and I never felt like it was what I was supposed to be doing, but I went back because I just didn't know what else to do. So when I say to people that I understand how hard it is to move from the fixed mindset to the growth mindset to change your life, I understand because I've been there. So nothing I'm saying is ever just flippantly, oh well, just, you know, just do with it,

Starting point is 00:14:55 just do it because I get it and it's step by step by step by step. So it was a step by step process and then one day in the office, that was it. I was just, you know, out of there. Okay, I'm leaving. I'm starting a business. I've no idea what I'm going to do. I'm going to jump. I'm going to write a book. I'm going to become a speaker. And that was it. It was like something in me was woken up. But there was no plan. There was no reason. There was no logic. I wouldn't recommend to anyone else, but that was just my path and my journey and my way of transitioning from the old me to the new me. And I just want to take a second here because this was a huge changing point in the direction of your life. Had you not had this stroke and gone on and did your job in Boston,

Starting point is 00:15:39 do you think you would have eventually made the change that we're going to get to or do you think you would have stayed stuck there for a longer period of time? A million dollar question, isn't it? It's hard to suppose, but on the path that I was going on, just so your audience is clear, I walked away from a secure stable job

Starting point is 00:15:56 and literally jumped and the net appeared, but there was no certainty in any of it. So sometimes in life, we have to have felt that they say faith, it's not faith until it's tested. Yes, I know when I made my own jump, it's very intimidating, because you know, in my case, I walked away from this prayer that I had built up to the very point of reaching the pinnacle that I thought I always wanted to be at, you know, which was this CEO of a major corporation, only to find that everything that had been building up

Starting point is 00:16:29 inside of me was still there. And when I finally made that choice to do something different and what I felt was my calling, this new chapter of my life passion struck, it didn't just become that overnight. And in fact, when I started to take the step, I started to fall back into,

Starting point is 00:16:46 you know, kind of safety periods before taking the leap. Because when you take that leap, it's as if you're walking off a cliff and you're just looking at the abyss and you don't have a parachute. And so I know it can be very daunting when you think about it, but on the flip side, if you don't take that leap, you'll do what I was doing, and that is use these safety nets to keep hindering yourself from really growing in the way that you need to to unleash your passion. And is that something that you've seen? So I would just say like in all of this, there's a few puzzle pieces that is only the Steve Jobs quote, it's only as you look back that you can see where the dots

Starting point is 00:17:25 how the dots connect. So back in the day, when I was sort of thinking about would I start a business, what I do, what I did, personal development wasn't what it was, the internet wasn't what it was, and mobile phones literally just were for phone calls and text messages. So the world that we are in right now, there has never been a better time. If you are looking for ways to broaden your knowledge base, your understanding, if you are wanting to set up a business as a side hustle evenings and weekends, you can run it from a mobile phone and you couldn't back then. So that's one of the big things that people have as an advantage for them right now. So understand that that the world has moved on. The other thing to say is there are more and more stories

Starting point is 00:18:12 out there of people that show what's possible. So again, back in the day, I literally had, there were maybe five or six books and a lot of the people that are referenced in the books, like Thinking Grow Rich and things like this, they were centuries ago. are referenced in the books, like thinking very rich and things like this, you know, they were centuries ago. You know, they're great fundamental books, but they're not necessarily going to help little old me

Starting point is 00:18:30 right now who lives in the UK. And it's, so whoever you are, wherever you are, I would empower you to go to Google or a browser of choice and ask it your questions, because this was not a possibility for a heck of a lot of people in the past and they were still able to do what they've done which is amazing but now you can find those answers. I feel like this I don't know what to do with that and also find coaches, find trainers, find prime programs, invest in yourself

Starting point is 00:19:02 to learn more just like you would for your academic career going to university and stuff like that. Why do we think that once you've finished college, you've finished formal education, that that's it. That's the start. And even if it's just as little as buying books and reading the books or watching TED talks, these sorts of things, they don't have to have a huge financial investment, but investing in your mind and making the most of that time

Starting point is 00:19:31 that you have, everyone's got the same 24 hours, but they don't all have the same beliefs. So if you want the life of the people you admire, you have to start becoming aware of what their beliefs are, identifying the limiting ones that you have and changing them, belief by belief. And each of those is a step in the direction you want to go in. And I think there's so much truth to that.

Starting point is 00:19:54 And as I was going through my career, I had always thought that emotional intelligence and the emotional quotient were the most important things to determining success or failure. And now, as I look at things, I feel it's now shifted to adaptability and the adaptability quotient. And I was interviewing, I guess, a number of weeks ago, we just put out a podcast yesterday on him.

Starting point is 00:20:19 His name is Dave Snowden. He's a very prominent Welch expert on knowledge management and complexity science. And in our discussion, he was talking about that he thinks society has been forcing people to become specialists. And his belief is we need to do just the exact opposite and become generalist because pretty soon technology is going to displace so many of these specialist jobs. And if you don't know how to be not only a specialist, but understand how to be a generalist and pivot and adapt

Starting point is 00:20:50 and learn how to do something new, you're going to be left on the signlines when some of the fourth industrial revolution starts really going into full swing in the next 5 to 10 years. So I think you're what you just said about, you can't sit there and go, I'm going to change all my beliefs in one day or I'm going to go from this to that, but you can certainly start taking micro steps and those micro steps over time become macro steps along the way.

Starting point is 00:21:16 And you'll see those shifts that occur. And just to sort of hammer that one home for people, there's no magic pill, there's no shortcut, there's no blueprint, there's no one size fits all despite the marketing that you will see. You know, newsflash. It's about what you do incrementally every single day, it's compounding your knowledge, it's compounding your activities. Everyone wants a six pack, but no one wants to go to the gym every day to do the work. But there is no shortcut to a six pack unless you go to the shop and buy one. And that would be a six pack of alcohol because they don't sell body six packs. But the gym analogy is one of the best analogies for life

Starting point is 00:21:57 is because it physically shows you the discipline that is required to create what it is that you want, that you achieve. But it is possible. It is possible. And I think the gym analogy is a great one because if you think about going into the gym and doing a rep, sometimes we're stuck

Starting point is 00:22:13 with emotions versus action and you can't have both. So the emotion may be, you know, I'm feeling really tired or I don't think I can do these reps, whereas the action is using that mindset that I can get through that, forget about that emotion and do that 10th, 11th rep at that weight and not let my mind hold me back from doing it. And the same thing is so true in life

Starting point is 00:22:36 and getting through these beliefs because it's not gonna be easy. I don't care if you've listened to Gary V. Tom Belliou, you know, Jay Shetty, whoever it is, if you listen to a thousand guests, like you've said on your point, every Bellew, you know, Jay Shetty, whoever it is, if you listen to a thousand guests, like you've said on your point, every single one of them is going to say, there's no easy way from going to point eight, to point B without doing the work in between. And whoever it is, whatever they say, it started with one rap, one set, one thing.

Starting point is 00:23:03 So if your goal is crazy and big, which I hope is, how can you break that down into a yearly goal, into a quarterly goal, into a monthly goal, into a daily goal, into what's that one thing that if I just do that one thing today will move the needle. Nothing else, it doesn't matter. If I had to do a million things. What one thing, and holding yourself to self-integrity, because if you said you were going to do it and you do it, you're reinforcing and creating belief and habit muscles in yourself. And this is where imposter syndrome comes up. A lot of the time is because people are out of integrity with themselves, they're saying one thing and doing another. I would agree with that.

Starting point is 00:23:45 And if you think about the path to recovering from a stroke or the path to recovering, in my case, from some dramatic brain injuries I had in combat, it all starts with repetition. It's physical therapy doesn't work and any physical therapist or occupational therapist will tell you this unless you're doing the exercise they give you on a daily basis because your mind relarns itself through repetition and the same thing through learning a new skill, a new trait, a new belief, it

Starting point is 00:24:15 takes that daily work. And then to me, it's like you build one belief upon the other over time and it's those building blocks that get you from where you are now to where you want to be, but you're right. It starts with one rap, or I remember this person and this captain in the military I worked with. He said he had reached a point because of smoking where he didn't even run from one telephone pole to another without having to stop

Starting point is 00:24:40 because he was getting so winded and he had quit smoking and made this commitment to himself that he wanted to get himself back in shape. So he went from one fall to the next to the next to the next. And by the time I had known him a few years later, he was running marathons because he had really made that goal. And the same thing is true no matter of what you want to achieve. And you build it. So if your goal is better health, then it's what can you do every day towards that better health. And maybe the first thing you do is you go through your wardrobe and you find all the things that you would wear to work out in. And then that's what you do one day.

Starting point is 00:25:16 And then the next day you go to a shop and you buy some trainers. And then the next day you try the trainers on. And it might be that it takes you five days to actually get out of the house or get into the gym but it's really about understanding these teeny tiny little micro steps that you're doing. Every single day they call it stacking the habits and it starts to create a ripple effect and what you want is your dominoes when they get pushed you want your dominoes to get pushed in the way you want them to go versus the way you don't want to go. Like, we are not a pinball in a machine to come back to your analogy. We are the machine, so we get to decide, do I want to play this game or do I want to take my pinball somewhere else and stop playing that game because I don't want to be flicked around by the

Starting point is 00:26:01 will of somebody else. I am the master of my my destiny to quote the poet. Did you know that Forbes magazine recently cited that 70% of individuals who do personal development masterminds and one-on-one coaching benefited from better work performance, increased communication skills in overall better relationships. And we at PassionStruck are obsessed with self-development, coaching, and mentorship. That is why we've created a free resource to help you unlock your hidden potential. Because people doing great things in business and life are just like you, only they've had a coach along the way.

Starting point is 00:26:44 And we've got that covered too. Let us show you the systems and frameworks that we teach both minded individuals to help them step into their sharp edges, execute on their passion journeys and get predictable results time and time again. Go to passionstruck.com slash coaching right now and let's get igniting. One of the most common objections I hear or impediments when I'm talking to clients or prospective clients is, yeah, I really want to make this move. I really want to make this change, do things differently, but I just don't have time.

Starting point is 00:27:21 And time management is like their biggest fear. And so I want to switch this conversation now to time because you were an expert in time management. But before you answer that, I kind of want to lead the listener into, you know, how did you become an expert in time management and what got you on this path? Yeah. So you're describing that classic sentence that we call the Yebba. And the Yebba is followed by anything, Yebba, I don't have time, Yebba, I don't have money, Yebba, I can't do it, Yebba, I don't know anyone who does it, Yebba, Yebba, Yebba. So limiting belief, so it's not true.

Starting point is 00:27:55 It's a belief and it's a story that we keep telling ourselves. So how I became a passionate about time management, not sure that I call myself a time management expert, but that's because the word expert, not sure that I call myself a time management expert, but that's because the word expert, what does that even mean? I would say I'm more of an expert around time confidence because fundamentally I really get that it comes down to confidence. So after my wake-up call, I recognised that the most important thing that we had was our time and how we used our time was creating the lives that we had. And so I combined that awakening with my corporate background of sort of time and time management,

Starting point is 00:28:30 my degree, my study, what actually productivity men and what we could do with our lives and how being more productive would help us. So it kind of all came together in a melting pot if you like. I wrote a book about time management for entrepreneurs because at the time entrepreneurs were who I was speaking to, but then it turned out the yeah, but kept coming up. Yeah, but I don't have the money. Yeah, but I can't do it right now. Yeah, but I don't have the team. Yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but so I was being brought in to train people on time management. And then as time went until I was also brought in to sort of train organizations and teams as well, even though the book was aimed at entrepreneurs people were still applying the tools because they are applicable. And so I was doing the trainings John

Starting point is 00:29:14 and the organisers were really happy when I came off the stage and the audience did that whole kind of head on one side arms crossed like and they'd come up to me afterwards and they'd start the sentence and they'd say oh really great training but and it's so disappointing when you put your life, your heart, your soul, your knowledge, your expertise into sharing things that could change their life. But I was not going to be sort of thrown off by that. I started to become the observer so I was watching them and out of all the slides I was putting up when I was doing the training. So there was one slide I put up that they all took their phones out and took a photo of, that they all started messaging me about, that they all started writing

Starting point is 00:29:56 their testimonials around. And I was like, hang on a minute, that's just one slide. And this one slide said eight, eight, eight on it. And I was like, how is this one slide being sort of the most photograph slide, what's going on? And what I've identified, obviously then with learning more and sort of going on the journey and studying neuroscience and just becoming more of a scientist in my own life and of my own clients,

Starting point is 00:30:20 what I started to recognize is that the 888 formula is a pattern interrupt. So it is the simplest way to divide a 24 hour day. We all have to sleep. So scientists say 7 to 9 hours is the optimal sleep and 7 and a half hours is the average. So let's call that 8. Society is saying that we need to work 8 hours. So that's our other eight. So that we've got two eight sandwiching, a middle eight, which is our life. So the middle eights, the jam, in the eight, eight eight sandwich, that's everything else. And then people are like, hang on, say that again, eight hours, sleep. I don't sleep eight hours. Eight hours work. I don't work eight hours. Eight hours for my life. Where does my commute go? Where does my relationship go? Where does my workout go? Where does my house work go? And so then I'm like, yeah, well, this is,

Starting point is 00:31:11 this is the thing, this is the conversation. When you sleep, when you don't sleep enough, scientifically, your body starts to act like you're drunk because you're the chemistry, your body is not having enough time to relax, to recharge, it's not having enough time to regenerate. So you are operating in your life, right, you've got alcohol in your body. And when emotion is high, our intelligence is lower, and this is what happens when we're not getting enough sleep. So the first part of the formula is always around, make sure you're getting enough sleep. When it comes to work, if you're paid to work eight hours, but you're working more,. When it comes to work, if you're paid to work eight hours,

Starting point is 00:31:45 but you're working more, there's something going on there. So you are spending 10, 12, 13, 14 hours doing an eight hour day. That's your choice. So how can you become more productive to do what you need to do, to then prove to your team, your talent, your bosses, that there is more need for head count,

Starting point is 00:32:03 if that might be the case, that you're doing lots of other people's jobs, and obviously we're in a pandemic at the moment, so life is a little bit odd. But when you understand what you're doing with your time and you track it and you audit it, then it gives you power to start to make decisions and choices because then you can see how much time you'd have then left for your life. And we're born to live, we're not born to work, we're not born to be here working 14, 16 hour days, taking two weeks off for a holiday in that's your life, for however many years, or until you retire, which reminds me of a story when I worked in a bank that my colleague kept saying to me, well it doesn't matter about doing that,

Starting point is 00:32:43 I'm going to retire in five years, it doesn't matter about doing that. I'm going to retire in five years. It doesn't matter about doing that. I'm going to retire in four years. It doesn't matter about doing that. I'm going to retire in three years. It doesn't matter about doing that. I'm going to retire in two years. And then we had a market crash. And then they stopped portfolio that they had been investing in as their sort of get out, halved. So then I went into work the next day and I said, so what about this? And they have nothing to say. Because now they weren't retiring in two years, they didn't know when they were going to retire. But the point of that story is that the clock is always ticking, but we're the ones in charge and we're the ones that have the power when we look at the results for the consequences of what we're doing with our time. Yeah, and I want to break this down a little bit more because I'm sure both of us know

Starting point is 00:33:27 plenty of people in our lives and some very famous ones who say, I only need four hours of sleep and that's all I need to function properly. How do you respond to that to someone who says something like that? So first of all, I have to say, I'm not medically trained, so I'm not qualified to actually respond to that I can only share the science that I've learned so the science that I've learned There are about 1% of people in the world that could sleep for less than six hours People who are in the habit of sleeping for less than six hours are in a habit So now whether that's good for their body or not, their body is waking them up So it's just to be scientific for a second. We sleep in 90 minutes cycles. So the first 15 minutes,

Starting point is 00:34:09 we're going to sleep next 15 minutes, deeper sleep, next 15 minutes is our deepest sleeps hardest to wake somebody up from. And then the final 15 minutes is the dream state where we're starting to wake up and we're half asleep, half awake. And then we go back round again into another cycle. So your body has as many cycles as it needs to recharge, to reset, to rejuvenate, to do a huge number of things. If you're interested in it, a brilliant book about, it's called Why We Sleep, I'm Matthew Walker,

Starting point is 00:34:38 will just blow your mind, because the science that he's got in there, it's actually quite scary when you understand the long term consequences of not having enough sleep. And then obviously what people who are insomnia, actually what people who are sort of waking because of what's happened to them in their past, but there are people out there that you can work with that can help you to specifically address it if it's a problem for you. But all I would say is your sleep is your foundation because your body, your machine, as I call it, the thing we live in, the vehicle, without this, we're out of the game. So my whole question I ask to myself every day is, what do I need to do to look

Starting point is 00:35:13 after myself today? I need to put, so I look after myself like a child, I need to put myself to bed, I need to feed myself. What am I feeding myself? It has to help me in my life. So I eat consciously and that's taken time to understand when my body requests what it needs and I know that can be annoying for people who are like yeah, my body requests crisps and chocolate. It doesn't after a period of time and that's a whole conversation about the brain and that's why the brain puts the cravings out. It does but that could be another podcast in itself. So that's maybe to silence your question. Yeah, well, I think if you want to achieve what you desire to in your life, then being at your cognitive best is something you should strive to achieve. And I thank you

Starting point is 00:35:56 my own learnings and experimentation. I think there are three key ingredients to it. One is definitely sleep and that routine that you have of when you go to bed and when you wake up, I think there are three key ingredients to it. One is definitely sleep and that routine that you have of when you go to bed and when you wake up, I think is also very important as it is with any behavior you have of your body getting used to going to bed at a certain time, waking up at a certain time and starting off your day with a morning routine.

Starting point is 00:36:19 Coupled with that, I think, as you said, directly it's what you put in your body matters so much. And I was lucky enough in a prior life to the right 15 or 16 articles on gut health. We're going through that. You start realizing the implications of for gut health has on you. Not only does it cause type 2 diabetes and Alzheimer's

Starting point is 00:36:43 and many other things. It can make the difference on how you sleep, how you don't sleep, your cognitive function and how you feel during the day, obviously weight gain weight loss. And then I think the third thing for me is whether it's exercise, whether it's a yoga class, whether it's a mindset routine you have, having some way to deal with the anxiety and that stress that comes into your life on a daily basis, it's balancing, sleep, what you eat, you know, and kind of that wellness to me that help unlock these other points.

Starting point is 00:37:14 And I'm not going to sit here and lie. I was this person for so many years in my career where I was, you know, at times working 90, 100 hour work weeks. And in some, some cases, I even didn't have enough time then. But I started to realize when I was working all those hours, thinking I was getting all this work done, I really wasn't getting done the most important things. I was spending so much of my time answering the flooding emails that I had staying up late. And what I found, especially in these global jobs, when you're working these different time zones,

Starting point is 00:37:47 is the second people in India would see you come online. They start texting you or taking up your time. And then the US cycle comes on, you know, and then you're spending time in the early mornings with folks in Europe. And before you know it, you're letting all of this control you. And I learned over time that you're right. You've got to work smarter.

Starting point is 00:38:08 And if you don't give yourself time to recharge and do some of the other things that you need to, whether it's reading or spending that time doing exercise or whatever it may be, you're never going to perform as well as you need to. And so to me, I've learned to work much less and accomplish much more. Yeah, 100%. And I just want to say for your audience, so the formulas of baseline to get you started, it's not a ideal recommendation of this has to be your numbers. Everyone's numbers are going to be different and your numbers will change throughout your life as well depending on what's going on. Like if you have a new job or a new family or a new relationship or you're in a global pandemic,

Starting point is 00:38:43 you know, everything is going to change. So it's about recognising that this is, these are the boundaries, the parameters, and then everything after that is up to you. So to come back to what you were saying about the difference between sort of people who are more successful and maybe don't need so much sleep, this is possibly going into sort of more spiritual conversation whereby who knows and it's not scientifically proven when you're in flow, when you're doing what you love, maybe your body can recharge faster and as long as you're waking up without an alarm and as long as you are feeling alert and as long as you are not using stimulants like coffee and things like this to keep yourself awake,

Starting point is 00:39:23 then maybe you're just one of these people who is in flow and you don't need so much sleep. There are no solid answers. And I think this is, if people take away anything from this podcast, take away, be the scientist of your own life. And there are no rules. Okay, I think that's a great transition point.

Starting point is 00:39:42 So, you know, you talked about Richard Branson at the beginning and not having many other influences that you can look at who inspired you, but that has changed over your life. So, can you tell me what are some of the relationships or inspirations that have mattered the most you and have had the biggest impact on where you are now? So, interestingly enough, a man I've never met since or a man I only met once

Starting point is 00:40:06 had probably the biggest impact on my life. He gave me a post at note in a nightclub and John, I just thought his phone number was on it. I put it in my handbag again back in the day, we just used to pan people our numbers on post it, it's on paper. It just was the way it was done. And it was only later the next day when I got home and I looked at it and it actually said winners find a way. And that guy on that day, that quote, became my life mantra. I added the extra word of always to it because I personally need to remind myself there's always a way, always a way, no matter how hard it may seem, no matter whether it's not something I've done before, there's always a way, find a way, find a way. So this stranger

Starting point is 00:40:50 with a post-it note probably was one of the biggest pivotal moments. I've then sort of after that had many spiritual teachers, personal development teachers, I've gone on the journey with a ton of them sort of from the gymroads to the Tony Robbins to the Sixth Zigglers to the Wayne Dyers to the the Marie Fawlios, you know, you name it. Whoever's out there, I've consumed their content to the sort of the Tom Ballos, the people that you were mentioning, all of these podcasts. Like there is so much information. One of my favorite podcasts actually is by a guy called Dr. Huberman and he has an Instagram account called Huberman Lab and his podcast is all around neuroscience, the brain and what's possible

Starting point is 00:41:32 and I just I love that and this comes back to the shared thing that we've both got sort of the brain injury and I needed to know that my brain was able to require itself. And there is a science called neuroplasticity and it proves that throughout our life, our brain's rewire, they used to believe that it was only up to the age of seven, but our brain's rewire throughout our life, maybe slightly slower as we get older, but it's still rewire,

Starting point is 00:41:59 so you can teach an old dog new trick. That's great. And what is the one thing or possibly handful of things that really helped your career take off that the listeners could learn from? By my career or my business? Your business, yes. I would say the biggest piece of advice I could give anybody is no one's going to give you permission. That's the first thing. No one will give you permission to do what it is that you want to do. You will never feel ready. So write it down and as we've discussed, take an action, break it down into the smallest steps and just do something. Turn this word

Starting point is 00:42:35 that we have in our vocabulary failure, turn this word into feedback. So every time you do something, you're not failing, you're getting feedback, because we are testing and adjusting. We only fail if we are working in a job or a career or a sector where there is zero tolerance for mistakes. So this word has been sort of taken out of context and used as a stick to beat ourselves with. So I would say, you'll never feel ready, no one will ever give you permission and change failure for feedback and just give it a go. Become a scientist and what's the worst thing that can happen?

Starting point is 00:43:12 The worst thing that can happen is you'll be successful. And that sounds a bit odd to say, but we are actually more scared of success than we are of failure. Because failure, we can kind of deal with that. Everyone's gonna say, oh, it didn't work out. You're not very good, boohoo, you move on. I knew better.

Starting point is 00:43:29 Like, you can deal with that. But success, well, we've never really been there. So what's gonna happen when we're really successful? What are people actually gonna say? What is our bank account gonna look like? What are our clients? How am I gonna manage it? Who will I become?

Starting point is 00:43:43 So this is where the work is, if there is any work. And the best way to know that success is not scary is to look at all of the people who are doing what it is that you want to do as proof that it's not killed them. They're still doing it and that they've tried it. And if it's possible for them, it's possible for you. So that would be my big tip. OK, that's great. And in the beginning of the podcast, I mentioned two quotes. One of them was from John Maxwell, famous author here in America who said, the secret of your success is found

Starting point is 00:44:17 in your daily routine. And then I did another one from Miles Davis where he says, time isn't the main thing, it's the only thing. And today we've talked a lot about routine and time management. If you're a person who is struggling to make the first step, what would be your advice to them in leading their life with better time management in mind? The first and the most simple thing I would say is get a piece of paper right now, get a pen, and write this down.

Starting point is 00:44:44 It's my time. And then say it in two different ways. It's my time. And then say it in this way. It's my time. And the intonation, what I mean by this is on one side, now is the time. There has never been a better time. You will never feel ready. It will never look good enough. You will never get permission. And on the other side, the clock is ticking and it's your time. It's not someone else's time, no one else owns your time. Thankfully, anymore, we live in a world where the majority of people own their own time. And even if you have to go to a job that you hate, let's change this into a gratitude. This role that I am currently in is helping me to have food. It's helping me to have security and somewhere to sleep.

Starting point is 00:45:30 It's helping me to have water when I turn on the tap. It's where I am right now and where I am. Rock bottom is not my solid foundation. Rock bottom is not where I stay. It's my solid foundation that I build from. So see it like that. Yeah, I recently did a podcast on the power of choice. And in it, I talked about how so many of the choices we make

Starting point is 00:45:53 every single day are based on habit, or ease, or things that we're used to. But we often don't prepare ourselves to make the most important voices in our lives. And you talked about it earlier, where we keep saying, I can't to life-changing opportunities. And in a recent podcast I did with an astronaut, Chris Cassidy, he talks about whether it was his time

Starting point is 00:46:15 as a seal or as an astronaut, we're doing Iron Man triatholons. He said, it's those choices that you make along the way to make yourself better. And the training that you do, which in this case is the work that you do on a constant basis, that when those opportunities come, and he's had some life or death ones and our own lives, it's often just saying, I can do a life-changing opportunity, it's doing those things that prepare you, that when that opportunity comes, you take it.

Starting point is 00:46:45 And so that's some of the advice I give is, oftentimes it's doing the hard work day in and day out, doing the things you don't want to do, to prepare yourself for when that opportunity comes, you're not gonna be afraid to take that leap. You're gonna run with it, and that will make all the difference in your life. Totally, and it's like my post didn't know,

Starting point is 00:47:03 which obviously is my quote behind me, and the bracelet that I wear. I stay to myself every day, I'll find a way because there's always going to be something that comes up. I'll find a way and it's when you back yourself more than you talk badly to yourself and that's the transition. I think that's one of the pivotal things is how you talk to yourself. I'll find a way but what you're going to do, what you're going to do, it's not going to work. Why would you leave way. But what you're gonna do, what you're gonna do, what it's not gonna work. Why would you leave that? Why would you try that? Why would you do that?

Starting point is 00:47:28 I'll find a way. I'll find a way. And if that negative voice isn't other people around you, it's often the voice in your head. So it's about having that sentence. I'll find a way. It's my time.

Starting point is 00:47:38 It's my time. I'll find a way. Well, Abigail, I'm gonna let you give a shout out to the audience now. If someone who's listening or watching to this podcast would like to get in contact with you, how can they do so? So I hang out daily on Instagram with motivation inspiration. You can find me at A-Barn's author. I'm sure John will put all of this in the show notes and also connect with me on LinkedIn because I'm there daily as well. I'd love to chat to you. If you've got any questions, if anything hasn't made any sense, then reach out because it's only through asking questions

Starting point is 00:48:12 that we can evolve. Okay, and so that leads me to the last portion of this podcast where I'm gonna ask you a series of lightning rounds of questions, so you kinda let into that well. So I'm gonna start if that's okay. What is something that you remove from your life that is made you more productive? Excuses. Okay. What are the things that you look for in a good leader or if you want to answer it

Starting point is 00:48:35 this way, the red flags that make a person a bad leader? A good leader to me is somebody who gets in the trenches and gets on with it with you. Okay, if you had the opportunity to meet someone dead or alive that you've never met before, who would it be and why? This is a great question. Oh no, John, I'm on this spot. Maybe Buda, and maybe to ask him like about his top tips on meditating. And once we get all this COVID madness behind us, where is one place that you would love to travel? Um, I really love Bali and I also, I love America obviously and I also love the Middle East. So I think there's a sun lounger with my name on it in Dubai. And more of a personal question, do you feel that you going through this stroke has been a

Starting point is 00:49:25 positive or negative impact in your life? I feel like I've been given a second life. So the person who I was before doesn't exist anymore. So I've had the opportunity to have a rebirth without having to go back to being a baby again if that makes sense. So I think it's been a positive. Yeah. It's what it is. Well Abigail, thank you so much for being on the show today. I very much enjoyed our conversation and I think there's so much here for our listeners to unpack. Thank you for being on the show. Thank you so much for having me. What an awesome interview that was with Abigail Barnes. And it actually inspired me to record still the episode on the Passion Struck Podcast, called The I Don't Have Time Syndrome.

Starting point is 00:50:05 It's episode 27, if you want to check it out. And I wanted to let you know, we have some incredible guests coming on the show that I wanted to talk to you about. I got incredible news yesterday from NASA that I am able to interview astronaut Caleb Arns, who's one of the newly selected astronauts on the Armadis program. We're in the future. She will get the opportunity to go to Moon and Mars. I'm going to talk to her or her main voyage to the International Space Station and I can't wait for you to hear that interview. Additionally, I have Trav Val coming up and Melanne down under who is known worldwide as the bucket list guy.

Starting point is 00:50:41 And we're going to talk about how you can put bucket list not only in your life, but achieve it. And then I have on, Stephanie, another amazing guest who overcame such personal hardships through sickness that she developed six or seven years ago. And now how overcoming that disease has changed for life. And the passion-driven pursuit that she is after today. I also wanted to let you know

Starting point is 00:51:05 that we have now surpassed 40,000 downloads of this podcast since February and are now at over 100,000 views on the YouTube channel. Thank you all for making that happen and remember, make a choice, work hard, step into your sharp edges. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make Passion Go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the Passion Start podcast

Starting point is 00:51:36 on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to your podcast at. And if you absolutely love this episode, we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes, and you sharing it with three of your most growth-minded friends, so they can post it as well to their social accounts and help us grow our passion-struck community. If you'd like to learn more about the show and our mission, you can go to passionstruck.com where you can sign up for our newsletter, look at our tools,

Starting point is 00:52:05 and also download the show notes for today's episode. Additionally, you can listen to us every Tuesday and Friday for even more inspiring content. And remember, make a choice, work hard, and step into your sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us.

Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Abigail Barnes On: Turn Your Time Into Productivity EP 38

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