Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Amy Malin On: Living Life From a Place of Love EP 79

Episode Date: November 9, 2021

Amy Malin is a social entrepreneur, human trafficking survivor, philanthropist, and the co-founder of Trueheart, a search engine funding dreams worldwide. She sits down with John R Miles to talk about how she is living life from a place of love.  New to the passion-struck podcast? Check out our starter packs which are collections of our favorite episodes grouped by topic, to allow you to get a sense of all the podcast has to offer. Go to https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. Like this? Please subscribe, and join me on my YouTube channel for peak performance, life coaching, and personal growth, where we have over 200 videos: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles. Thank you for listening to the Passion Struck podcast. In this powerful Episode, John R. Miles and Amy Malin discuss human trafficking awareness and the essential things all parents need to know and pass on to their kids how her traumatic experiences impacted her life but more importantly, how she did not let them define her and built the resilience to overcome them and do social good for world impact. She also discusses her unique dating approach that led to her meeting her husband and co-founder of Trueheart. They also discuss how Trueheart is doing good for so many around the world through its unique model of supporting charities while you search the web.  Go to Passionstruck.com for the full show notes of today's episode. New Interviews with the World's GREATEST high achievers will be posted every Tuesday with a Momentum Friday inspirational message! Show Notes  0:00 Introduction 4:41 Living a life of service 8:17 A long cycle of being stuck 12:02 Creating the life she deserved 20:00 Everyone's healing journey is different 28:03 Addressing the hurt inside 30:37 Confronting your brutal reality 34:43 Always be on the alert 44:08 Putting 110% in your personal life 50:06 Creation of Trueheart ENGAGE WITH AMY MALIN *Website: https://trueheart.com/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wearetrueheart/ *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amymalin/ *Twitter: https://wwww.twitter.com/wearetrueheart/   ENGAGE WITH JOHN R. MILES * Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles * Leave a comment, 5-star rating (please!) * Support me: https://johnrmiles.com * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Johnrmiles.c0m. * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles ABOUT JOHN R. MILES * https://johnrmiles.com/my-story/ * Guides: https://johnrmiles.com/blog/ * Coaching: https://passionstruck.com/coaching/ * Speaking: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking-business-transformation/ * Gear: https://www.zazzle.com/store/passion_struck PASSION STRUCK *Subscribe to Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-passion-struck-podcast/id1553279283 *Website: https://passionstruck.com/ *About: https://passionstruck.com/about-passionstruck-johnrmiles/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/passionstruck *Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/  

Coming up next on the Passion Struck Podcast. Probably the most transformative healing tool in my life was acts of service. When I was volunteering and giving back, whether it be with wounded servicemen and women or foster kids or other survivors of trafficking and sexual assault or helping to feed the homeless or volunteering with animal rescue groups, I knew that I wasn't alone. I heard other people share their pain and be vulnerable and it enabled me to create a safe space

for others to be their selves around me. And that led me to understand that I'm not the only one in the world who's gone through something difficult. Everyone has some sort of tragedy trauma or pain in their lives. But when we come together and when we bond and we connect in deep and meaningful ways, it lifts us up from that pain. Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders and growth seekers of all types to the Passion Struck Podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach, multi industry CEO, Navy Veteran, and entrepreneur on a mission to make Passion Go viral for millions worldwide. In each week, I do so by sharing with you an inspirational message

and interviewing high achievers from all walks of life who unlock their secrets and lessons to become a passion struck. The purpose of our show is to serve you, the listener, by giving you tips, tasks, and activities. You can use to achieve key performance and for two, passion-driven life you have always wanted to have and help. Let's become passion struck. Hello everyone and welcome back to the PassionStruck podcast. Thank you all of you who come back to the show every week

to listen, learn, and grow. If you're new to the show, or you're looking for an easy way to tell your friends about it, we now have episode starter packs. These are collections of your favorite episodes, categorized by topic. It helps new listeners get a taste of everything that we do here on the PassionStruck podcast. Just visit passionstruck.com slash starter packs to get started or help someone you know get started. And of course, I appreciate it when you do that.

May you angle who said, I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it. And that is exactly how social entrepreneur, Amy Maylin, has worked at the intersection of Hollywood and Pallanturpe. Amy and her husband Scott are co-founders of the True Heart Social Impact Engine, where you can change the world for every search you do at TrueHeart.com.

In today's episode, we discuss Amy's experience as a survivor of domestic violence, sexual harassment, and human trafficking that led her to leave a life of pushing forward, looking at herself in the mirror and repairing her life. We discuss her advice of others who are struggling with trauma and the steps that she recommends to help you recover from that trauma. Why hurt people, hurt people, why we all need to be so vigilant about sex trafficking.

And the unfortunate aspect that it exists in so many places that you wouldn't even think about. How 101 dates in a month led to her finding lasting love and we talk about the true goal of True Heart. Such a great episode today. Now, let's become Passion Struck. Welcome to the Passion Struck podcast, Amy. I'm so excited to have you here today. Thank you, John, for having me. I also want to thank you for your service. I think it

takes a very special person to protect and defend the freedoms of people that they will never meet. So I appreciate what you've done for this country. Well, thank you for saying that. I know for so many veterans right now is a difficult time as we watch what has unfolded in Afghanistan. And I to get some context about your life kind of before true heart and what what is led you on this progression. So, you know, kind of wherever you want to pick that up, why don't we start there. Absolutely. My personal and professional life are inextricably linked. And like most people, I've overcome a lot of pain and tragedy and trauma in my life. I was a survivor of domestic violence and sexual assault and human trafficking, and at two points to flee those situations, I was homeless. And what I learned from going through this ordeal of having so many times in my life where

I thought I would never live to see another day, I made a commitment to myself that if I did, that I wouldn't waste that precious time and that gift that I was given, and I would dedicate my life to giving back and making a difference in the world. And one of the biggest parts of my journey of healing that was really transformative for me was living a life of service. When I was giving my time and really forming these meaningful connections

and bonds with other people, I realized that I wasn't alone. I wasn't the only person in the world that was hurting. And I think a lot of times people experience pain and it feels all consuming. And it feels like there might not be a way out. But I want people to understand that there is. You have to walk through the fire to get to the other side.

But when you do, there's that happy, beautiful, safe life that you deserve waiting for you. And so if you baby step it and you think of it like, I just have to make it through till the morning, it doesn't seem so overwhelming. You can make it from the evening until the next morning. Don't think of it like, I have to make it through my entire life. Just take it one small step at a time. And so in really understanding on my journey of healing, that I was able to use my time and talent and energy and passion to connect with other people in meaningful ways, I discovered that one of my talents

is rallying people around a good cause that I'm a really good communicator and I know how to fire people up and get them inspired and passionate about coming together to make a difference. And when I discovered that, I realized that was my purpose for being here and I needed to lean into that.

It provided so much joy and fulfillment for me. But I actually saw that I was making an impact. I'm a spiritually curious person and I've done a lot of studying and reading lately about purpose and Dharma. And instead of having anger and resentment and sadness over the things that I've survived and endured in my life, I'm now able to look at it through another lens. And I'm grateful for the lessons that I've learned

and that I discover that I am unbreakable, that I've been through all these difficult things, but nothing was going to break my spirit. I was still able to wake up every day and choose love and hope and positivity and find ways to turn my pain into powerful opportunities to help others. And I think that's a choice that's accessible to everyone. And I'm so sorry to hear that those things happened to you. What age range were you at when they transpired? Yeah, it started at the beginning of my life until I was about 30 years old

so it was unfortunately one long cycle of being stuck in interpersonal violence and toxic and abusive relationships. And I think at that point, I didn't really believe that I deserved better. I had this very unhealthy remix playing in my head that was telling me that I was worthless and unlovable. And you know, when you hear something long enough, whether it's good or it's bad, you start to believe it.

And so I was programmed with all of these negative things about myself that weren't true, but they really had an effect on my mental health. And so it became, unfortunately, too easy for me to draw in people that were very abusive, physically, sexually, emotionally, financially. And that just became the pattern that I was used to. And when I was 30 years old, I had this amazing shift in my mindset and I woke up one morning and I don't know what kind of precipitated this happening, but I walked to my mirror in my bathroom and I just looked at myself in the mirror and I started kind of chanting, I am worthy, I am love, and I

kept repeating this over and over and over for hours. You know, sometimes whispering it, sometimes shouting it, sometimes just talking it in my normal voice until I had nothing left to cry. It felt like I had run a marathon. I was bringing it sometimes shouting it, sometimes just talking it in my normal voice, until I had nothing left to cry. It felt like I had run a marathon. I was exhausted. But by the time I was done, I believed it. I believed that I was worthy and that I was love. And that created this shift in my mindset

where I said, okay, things have to change. I have to start pulling people into my life that treat me with a love and respect that I give to others. And it was amazing because just a few short months later, I was blessed to meet my incredible husband, Scott, who now is also my business partner. And we've created a beautiful family

and two--driven companies. So the power of the mind is incredible. I think once you understand how to make it work for you and be a tool that you know how to use in an effective way, you can really start unlocking all of these beautiful and amazing gifts that you have. Yeah, I had a guest on the show. Her name is Sasquia Lightstar a few weeks ago. And Sasquia is a breast cancer survivor, but more than that, she describes herself as living this out of control life where she was partying,

but to those who were observing her, they thought that she was living her best life and inside she was living her worst life. And she actually credits Louise Hayes and her mirror work as being a huge changing point for her. It took much longer. I think it took a, you know, a number of months of everyday waking up in front of the mirror and she was just saying, Saskie, I love you. You know, I love you so much, and her whole life has changed. Where I'm going with this is many people on the show that I talk to, their life is in status quo,

kind of like Sasuke's, and then they have something that happens that causes them to change, which could be illness, it could be divorce, it could be a job firing. In your case, that wasn't it, which is unusual. And I guess I wanted to ask, why do you think it's so hard for people to take that step without an event that happens like you did in your case?

Yeah, I mean, my events, bad events, were happening for the first 30 years of my life. So the change for me was recognizing that I was dealt a bad hand, which you don't have any control of when you come into this life. And so instead of letting those experiences break me and falling into this pit of despair, that the choice I had to make was to wake up and choose myself and decide that I wanted to create the life that I deserved. But first I had to believe that I was worth it, that I was enough.

I think it's beautiful what you shared about Sasquia's journey and how she was able to realize that she was enough and she was love and looking yourself in the mirror and truly seeing who you are, like on a soul level and understanding that your being is just pure love and light and it's possible to radiate that because we're all made up of energy and I'm a big believer.

I've always been really intuitive and empathetic my whole life that you know just when you meet people even if it's in this experience over zoom you can feel people's energy. So when you're putting out positive energy other people can feel that and that's where we form these beautiful connections. I think for people wanting to make that positive shift in their lives and start to see these blessings happen coming from a mindset of abundance rather than fear. You really have to look inside your heart

and see if there's anything that you haven't yet faced or conquered. And it's gonna be difficult in the beginning, but you have to show up and face down those fears. So whether it's issues of addiction, trauma, abuse, illness, loss of a job and not feeling like you have enough to support yourself and your family, you have to walk through the fire

and confront those issues in order to heal and get better. And as I said earlier, it's baby steps. Right now during the pandemic, unfortunately, we've seen a rise in mental health issues. And most of us have been kind of staying apart to stay safe for almost two years. And so that's not kind of staying apart to stay safe for almost two years. And so that's not kind of normal to our human experience.

We're used to being together in the same physical space and there's kind of comfort and joy in that. So when we're kind of apart, there's a lot of people that are left to sit with their mental health issues and they're lonely and they're depressed and they're having anxiety attacks or PTSD episodes. And so, you know, I would say to those people who are facing these challenges, you are not alone. And if you can make it through to the next day, it's going to get better.

And I think for those of us that are in a healthy and safe space, one of the most important things we could do now is call and check on our loved ones and our friends. Literally pick up the phone, it takes five minutes, it's free to do it, and ask people how they are, and really pay attention to the answer, and offer love and support, because what you might not realize is the day that you're making that call could be one of the lowest points in someone's life and they might not want to keep going. But because you stuck your handout and you said, I'm here to support you, that could change everything for them and give them the hope and let them know that they

are not alone in somebody cares. And if you can show up for somebody, why not do that? That's the most beautiful gift I think that you could do in this life is create a real bond with another human being. So I just encourage people to make those calls and check in on the people that you care about because it really does make a difference. Yeah, I think that's a very good point. And to me, when you start looking at people who have faced trauma, whether it's sexual assault or physical assault, they have a much higher chance of suicide risk, especially if it's happened multiple times.

I think for both, it starts out at about 22%, but for sexual assault, it doubles if you've had multiple physical assault it actually triples and I don't think people pay enough attention to how much the suicide rates are rising just in the last VA report that was done there were 46,500 people in the United States alone who had committed suicide in over 800,000 globally. And interestingly enough, studies have been done that look at what is one of the biggest missing ingredients to people who take their own lives. And it's actually not having enough omega-3s, which I found out talking recently to Dr.

Michael Lewis who's been studying this for years. So I completely agree with you. The other thing we don't do, which you brought up, is we aren't kind to ourselves, which is where the healing process really starts. And so something I try to do each week, which may be something the listeners may want to try, is I send out an email to someone who I don't even know. And I put the head in, I typically I don't even know and I put the heading. I typically randomly pick someone on LinkedIn and I'll just put Amy, you're awesome. And then I just write them a note, you know, you've had an

amazing career and you've accomplished so much. Thank you for what you're bringing to the world or something to that. And then I try to reach out to a friend and family member each week just to bring them some positivity and kindness in their life. That is really beautiful that you're doing that, John, getting that what I call fan mail or email really brightens up somebody's day. So I think whether it's a friend or a stranger that you're hearing that someone recognizes that you're putting goodness into the world. That really lights people up. And

as you know, it's it's free to do it. It takes just as much time to live a life of kindness as it does with rudeness. So why not choose kindness and love? When you put that out there, you get all of that back and more. It's it's really fulfilling. It is. And I'm glad you're telling your story because I think for so many, it's difficult for them to do. I know for me, it was difficult to do for decades. You and I are different age groups that I grew up at a time when mental health was really looked down upon upon to the point that there was a stigma against you, whether it was

you were depressed or that person's always anxious or God forbid they have ADD or ADHD and they're taking something to help help themselves. You know they were really a lot of negative connotations to it so I know I felt alone in my own head and I just tried to suppress them and eventually I reached a point where you know another event happened and it kind of brought everything back to the surface. And I've spent the past four to five years really concentrating on taking the steps necessarily that are necessary to get yourself out of that trap. And it's not easy when you're doing something like cognitive processing therapy or PET or EDMR.

None of these are easy things to do, but I will tell you as you point it out, coming out this side of it, it's so much better than the numbness that I was feeling before because when you don't deal with it, you cause yourself to have depression and other things. So I think that was a beautiful message. And do you have advice to a listener on on where to start if they're in the start place and they don't know how to make that choice? What would you suggest to them? Everyone's journey of healing is different. Not everything is going to work for everybody. So I've tried a lot of healing modalities

to help deal with the invisible wounds of my trauma. Like you, John, it took me decades to be able to even put a name to the things that had happened to me. Rapping my head around the concept that, at one point in my life, I was literally someone's property property and I was sold in traffic was a very scary thing for me to reconcile. And then once I did, you know, I was flooded with all of these scary and traumatic memories coming back. And I was constantly living in this cycle of anxiety and depression and dealing with panic attacks and PTSD episodes.

I would hear songs or see people out in public that would trigger me. And I would literally have these events where I thought I was gonna die. One time I completely lost my sense of sight. I thought I was blind. I didn't know if I was gonna be able to see again. I froze up. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I literally was dripping in sweat while I was

standing still. It felt like I, you know, just did the iron man and I hadn't even moved. And so my body was going through all of these very intense reactions of reliving this pain. And boy, did it feel so overwhelming. And how was I going to find my way out of that? So once I finally decided that there was a name for all of these things that I had experienced. And I wanted to not let my future, I had to be in the driver's seat. I had to take control. And the first step in that was realizing that I could leave my past in the past, if that makes sense. One of my favorite yoga teachers said, the past is history. The future is a mystery. The present is a gift. And I thought that was so profound and beautiful. And so the things that have happened to me, they're in the past. I cannot change them. And I will not give them the attention

to hurt me now in this moment. What I can focus on in the present moment is how I choose to show up with love and gratitude and hope and positivity to make it and create a good day for myself. And so some of the things that I tried were traditional talk therapy, you know, seeing a psychiatrist and sharing the things that I had been through. I know that that works for a lot of people. On my journey of healing, it wasn't the most effective thing for me. And I think that was a function of the fact that, unfortunately,

I just had some therapists that were not very good at their job. And we're not very good listeners. And we're not very sympathetic to my situation. I ended up kind of trial by fire, trying a lot of different modalities that I found did work for me. Being out in nature is really therapeutic. Connecting with our beautiful earth studies have shown. It's very calming and healing for our nervous system.

So I would hike twice a day at the height of when I was really working through my trauma. And I found that that brought me a lot of peace. I also did music meditations, and I've recommended this to a lot of other survivors of trauma who found it to be beneficial for them. And that is, I would take a song, and I would listen to it like 30, 40 times in a row,

and I would cry out all of my feelings associated with that pain in the moment. And I would attach the trauma to that song. So I knew this was a safe song to just release all of that too. And then that became kind of a ritual. And then it was a way to let the trauma and the pain go with that song. Okay. And then I put it away and I don't have to listen to it anymore, but music is also really powerful form of healing. I also did laughing, crying meditations that were really powerful for me

where I would cry until I had nothing left and then I would laugh until I cried. And that was also really powerful going to kind of those extremes of emotions from joy to pain. Another thing that was really beneficial for me and I mentioned at the top of our conversation, probably the most transformative healing tool in my life was acts of service.

When I was volunteering and giving back, whether it be with wounded servicemen and women or foster kids or other survivors of trafficking and sexual assault or helping to feed the homeless or volunteering with animal rescue groups, I knew that I wasn't alone. their pain and be vulnerable and it enabled me to create a safe space for others to be their selves around me. And that led me to understand that I'm not the only one in the world who's gone through something difficult. Everyone has some sort of tragedy trauma or pain in their lives. But when we come together and when we bond and we connect in deep and meaningful ways, it lifts us up from that pain.

And it became a positive addiction in my life, giving back. Every time I was giving, I felt like I was receiving so much more, and it just lit me up. And that's when I realized, wow, this is my purpose for being here, is to connect with other people and to understand that the things that I had experienced, they were not in vain. That pain that happened to me, I

was going to use it as a powerful way to help other people. So they knew that they were not alone and they could create the beautiful life that they always deserve. And you can find that inner strength and be a survivor and not a victim and shifting from that victim to survivor mentality was crucial for me in my healing. And so I want people to know, you know, as I keep saying that they're not alone. And I would say to people in your life,

family, friends, co-workers, it's your beautiful and awesome responsibility to show up with love and support. Let people know that you care and be there to help them. Do not come from a place of judgment because each of us has a unique life experience. No one will ever understand what it feels like

to spend a minute in somebody else's shoes because there is only one of us that'll ever be here on this planet who has our own unique experiences. So just show up with love, compassion, and support, and that is going to make a difference in somebody's life. Yeah, and I think that showing up is one of the biggest things that's missing today. And if people listen to this podcast, I say this time and time again,

I believe people more and more today are living a pinball life where instead of playing the game, they're letting the game play them, and it starts when you start focusing on what is urgent versus what is important. And that starts and ends with how you show up with other people. You know, are you present in the moment or are you not? Are you there to serve others? Or are you constantly trying to serve your own intentions? Because doing something that appears

to be kind for personal gain is not kindness at all. And I happened to listen to a recent podcast you did. It just came out a couple of weeks ago. And you had to sing on there, but that really caught my attention. And it was hurt people, hurt people. And I was hoping you could just go into that a little bit because I really thought it was a powerful line. Yeah, it makes sense when you think about it.

It's really simple. If you're hurting, you cannot operate from a place of love and kindness. And so then unintentionally, you're out there hurting other people and sometimes you don't even realize it. And so you have to address the hurt inside and go through the healing process to be able to show up every day with love and kindness, first and foremost for yourself. Self-care is so important, and as you said, John, you know, we don't talk enough about mental health issues and taking care of ourselves. I recently read something that really stuck with me, and it was that if everyone just made five minutes a day to do something that brought them joy,

it would create an incredible shift in our lives. And so just to think, I am worth it for five minutes out of my day to do something that makes me happy whether it's taking a walk outside, reading a book that you enjoy, whether it's stretching, whether it's meditating a walk outside, reading a book that you enjoy, whether it's stretching, whether it's meditating five minutes. I mean, we're all worth a lot more than that, but to clear your head and get into that space where you come back to yourself, you turn inwards and you say, I'm able to show up for me

every day. That means that you could heal. And you won't be walking around as a hurt person who's inadvertently hurting other people. And so, yeah, I thought that was a really powerful thing to share because a lot of times people aren't realizing that the issues that they haven't dealt with are then manifesting in these toxic and negative ways that bleed into their personal and professional lives. So you have people who say, gosh, I don't understand. How come I can't cultivate a healthy, successful relationship with a romantic partner?

Well, you haven't dealt with your own issues first. So if you have trust and abandonment issues, which I've dealt with my whole life, well, of course, it's going to come up in your romantic relationships. And inadvertently, you could be taking that out on your partner, and you don't want to punish good people for the mistakes and actions of people in your past. You want to treat everyone the way they deserve to be treated, and for the way that they're showing up and in treating you on a daily basis. So you really have to deal with those events from your past in order to be healthy and feeling good in your present. I think that's an extremely valuable point. And when I coach people who come to PassionStruck for help, The starting point I often address with them is I call it

conferred confronting their brutal reality because until you do that you're not going to be able to move on to do what you aspire to do. And I kind of got this saying from I'm not sure if your memory was a vice presidential candidate Vice Admiral Stockdale happened to be a Medal of Honor winner who spent seven or eight years in the Hanoi Hilton. And it's interesting, I got to meet both him and former Senator John McCain. And they both said that their time as a prisoner of war

ended up being one of the most valuable experiences that they had throughout the rest of their life. And, you know, Admiral Stockdale told us when I was at the Naval Academy that if he had to face that brutal reality of what was happening to him and at that point he had a choice. Either he could let it get the better of him or he could learn how to be mentally strong and overcome it. And I think that's a great point because until you face that rudorality and start really looking at yourself narrative, you're going to struggle to get out of that darkness whatever it may be,

whether that's like you said, it's drinking or you've been a victim of sexual events of some type or whatever it may be until you can figure a way to stop letting that trigger point consume your life, you're gonna be consumed by it and it's gonna prevent you from really living at your full capability and getting anywhere close to your cognitive potential if you wanna achieve peak performance.

I want people to understand John who are listening, we are not what happened to us. Those are events in our past. We already have all of this greatness inside that we just need to unlock. And so separate yourself from those events and see the lessons that you've learned from them because it's not what happens to us, it's how we react and how we bounce back from it. And so the fact that you're still here and your standing means you are stronger

than everything that tried to take you down, you beat it, you survived. And so focus on that, that is beautiful, that is a huge win. Instead of focusing on the pain and the tragedy and trauma, focus on how you rise like a phoenix from the ashes and you are still here. Nobody can take that away from you. And so it's just a shift in mindset, right? Going from the negative to the positive and what a difference it makes in your life when you do it.

Couldn't say it any better. And so I had one more question along the lines here and then I wanted to get into the story of True Heart. I think it's very sickening, but when the Super Bowl was held here last year in Tampa Bay, the occurrence of sexual trafficking was going up significantly, and it was due to the people who were coming into town to attend the Super Bowl, which is even more sickening. But as I started looking at that, I started looking at Tampa Bay as a whole, and it's actually one of the highest regions for the occurrence of sexual traffic and which shocked me because they don't talk about it on the news. You don't hear it when you go to your chamber and I have a

a teenage daughter. So it made me, you know, fear for her. And so I was just wondering if you could give some advice to, you know, if there were females out there or were parents of young daughter who might be susceptible of this, what would be some of your advice for them? Because I don't think people are thinking about this enough. And what I worry about is someone could grab you at any time. And I think it happens more than people would like to admit it does. Yeah, you're absolutely right, John. And as a parent myself, I would give my life to protect my kids. So you always want to make sure that they're healthy and they're safe. And it's important to always be on the alert.

One of my favorite books that changed my life is called The Gift of Fear. And it was written by Gavin DeBecker, who's one of the world's foremost experts on personal security and safety. He's protected some of our presidents, world leaders, athletes, celebrities. He's a survivor of interpersonal violence himself. And he's studied that this fear is actually our body's way of warning us about some things that we need to do that could save our lives. So he talks about tapping into the gift of fear, not letting fear consume us where then we can't live, but listening to those signs that our body gives us, when your stomach is in

knots or you get the chills or your heart starts palpitating out of your chest. And you recognize something seems off or someone's energy is kind of rubbing you the wrong way to really pay attention to that because you might have seconds to make an important decision to save yourself or the people that you love. So I recommend to everyone, especially parents, to read Gavin's book. But as you said, John, we're not talking enough about the fact that human trafficking is happening in every neighborhood of this country, from the richest to the poorest. A few years ago, I co-hosted a salon with the special advisor to the United Nations on human trafficking, Ronnie Hong, and we both shared our stories of survival.

And that event took place in Beverly Hills, California, and we had about 500 guests that joined us that evening. And let me tell you, they were shocked when we looked them in the eye and said, there are people being trafficked, literally blocks from where we're all sitting. And people couldn't believe it. And I said, yeah, you wouldn't think one of, you know, the ritius most glamorous in quotes, you know, cities in this country, will there are people

that are being forced to work or participate in sex acts under the threat of violence, who cannot get out of this situation? So it's happening everywhere. There's over 27 million people enslaved in the world today, and that figure is staggering. I hope and pray that in my lifetime, that this is a problem that we could solve. And one of the things I'd say to, you know, young people and their parents who are looking to keep them safe is you have to learn how to spot the red flags

and the warning signs. You know, one of the things that got me into this unfortunate situation of being held captive and trafficked as a young person was I was invited to someone's house for what I was told was going to be a business meeting. And, you know, I had like eight or nine jobs to pay for my college. So I thought, wow, someone's taking an interest in me and they think I'm smart and I'm talented. Okay, I'll go show up at this home for this business meeting.

And I brought, you know, my portfolio of the work that I had done. And I brought my portfolio of the work that I had done. And that was the beginning of the nightmare and hell that I lived through being assaulted and held prisoner and traffic for over a year. You really have to be smart. I'm a big believer in the buddy system. So even if you're in adult and you're

parent yourself, if you're going out with friends or colleagues, I always make sure that people walk in pairs to their cars. Or if you're alone, ask the manager or security at the restaurant or the bar to walk you to your car to make sure you get there safely. Always call someone who you care about and let them know that you arrive safely. And if you don't arrive by a certain point, tell people, call the police if you cannot get a hold of me. There's apps that you can have on your phone, track my iPhone or if you have an Android phone. Those are great things for parents to have on their kids phones phones or spouses put it on, you know, your partner's

phone, not in some nefarious way because you don't trust them. And you think that they're cheating on you, but do it because you care about their safety. You know, and if your partner doesn't come home at the time that you are expecting them and they're not answering the phone, immediately track their phone and then go call 911. Ladies, especially if you're walking to your car in its dark outside, never be distracted. Ever. Don't have headphones in. These predators are looking for people who are easy targets. So always be on high alert. There are safety key chains that you could buy where you can hold the key chain in between your fingers and it becomes a sharp object if you need to defend yourself

and kind of poke someone to get away real quickly. I also recommend self-defense classes. So you know how to take care of yourself in the event that you have to fend off someone who's trying to attack or abduct you. When you're in your car and you make it there safely, don't sit there for a half hour making calls or reading a book or doing something to pass the time.

You leave right away and go to your destination. And if you think you're being followed, drive to the nearest police station or fire station or public place that's open, don't be in a dark place that's isolated where nobody can help you. I had lots of experiences years ago being stalked and followed and I learned that if you show up in a well lit place with lots of other people, these folks will just leave, right? They thrive in the darkness. So when the cockroaches come out into the light,

they scurry. They don't like to be seen. They want to be doing their kind of evil dirty deeds and private. So make it difficult on them by having a buddy system, not being alone, making sure you're in close communication with your family and friends, and always be checking on people. And if you can, take some basic self-defense courses, I actually recommend that parents take them with their kids. When they start to be 11 or 12 years old and you have to have these conversations on safety and consent and knowing how to say no

and how to protect and defend yourself as a mom or dad to go through these classes with your child is extremely valuable. And it's going to build this trust in this relationship that you have, this parent child relationship. And I would also say to parents, show up for your kids with a place of love never from judgment. Let them know that no matter what,

they can come to you because this is how you establish that foundation that if heaven forbid, they are a victim of sexual assault or domestic abuse or if they're a victim of human trafficking, you need for your child to come to you and tell you everything openly and honestly so that you can help them. Do not put a wall up between you and your child. There should be nothing that they share

where your love is conditional. Show up unconditionally with love and support and let them know that even if the conversation is hard, you are there to do everything in your power to help them heal and to love them and support them. I can tell just how passionate you are about that topic. So thank you so much for giving those words of wisdom from your direct experience and perspective. I know and my family we use, I think it's called Life 360 to help you track everyone.

But just to hammer this home, just a little bit more, I have a friend who's a Navy former Navy SEAL commander and he speaking of Beverly Hills was getting recruited in going in and trying to get those hostages back. And I was talking to him and I said, well, that would be pretty interesting because each season you could document a hostage situation. He goes, you don't understand. There were 400 to 500 going on at any single day. So it would be more like we would need 20 series to cover how many we were

dealing with. And that was just in Iraq with what was going on there in the Middle East. Well, that said, I want to get on to, you know, some happier topics. And so I want to jump to how you met your husband because I don't know how you can do 101 dates in 30 days, but I'd like to hear about it. And I'm sure others would be curious. I was doing the math in my head and I was like, that's like three and a half a day. Yes, it was.

Yeah, to make a long story short, after I had that massive shift in my life at age 30 that I shared earlier in the conversation. I was talking to my Nima, my grandma, who raised me, and I said, I really want to meet my soulmate, the love of my life. And she said to me, Amy, you know, you put 110 percent into your business and you've created all the success in your professional life. If you just showed up for your personal life with the same intention and energy and passion,

you will draw in and attract the person that you know you're meant to find and that beautiful love that you're looking for. And my Nima and Tata, my grandparents, were married for 67 years before they passed. So it was always something that I aspire to achieve in my love, a great love like that. And so I decided to just go for it and date like it was my job. And so yeah, I was meeting three, sometimes four people a day for breakfast or coffee or lunch or dinner.

I'm not a drinker, but you know, what other people said were drinks and I would show up and like have a juice or water. And I knew that it was just going through the numbers. You can even apply this in business to sales, right? Because it does not matter how many knows you get. All you need is one good yes. So I actually was excited when I'd meet someone and they were not the person for me, I said, okay, it just means one down, I didn't know I'd have to get through, you know, over a hundred to meet, to meet the right one. But what's actually really interesting was when I was 18 years old, true story, I wrote a poem,

and it was about dating a hundred guys, the wrong guys, to meet my mister, right? And I still have that poem. So you could say it was almost like foreshadowing or some sort of divine intervention that this plan would be laid out for me, that, you you know 12 years later, that would be my reality. And I am a big believer that you know you always give everyone at least an hour to meet them right every human being deserves that show up in a good space. And you just learn something from every interaction you you have with somebody. So even if I didn't have that romantic spark in chemistry, some of the men that I met were really good guys and actually ended up introducing them to some of my girlfriends and they went on to date. So that was positive. Some people ended up talking to me like I was

their therapist and I was just someone that could listen and show up and kind of help them with some of their issues and I was happy to be there and do that. Others not such good guys. And the date ended after a half hour hour. And all right, I didn't like the energy. I was not going to move forward and see that person anymore. But I was really blessed having gone through that sort of experiment. I learned so much about myself, what I want, what I

deserve, what I don't want, what I don't deserve. And so by the time I was able to meet my amazing husband, Scott, I was able to recognize this is everything that I was hoping for and dreaming about. And I was able to recognize it and realize, wow, this just feels so different. I had never in my life before meeting Scott had a positive, healthy, truly loving relationship. All of my relationships previously were abusive and were toxic.

And so I had this warped idea of what love was. And it wasn't until I met Scott and he showed up for me with unconditional love and learned about what I've been through in my past and wasn't afraid of it. Didn't run away, but embraced it and wanted to help me heal that I discovered. Wow, that's what real, healthy love feels like. And it's beautiful. It's amazing. And it healed my heart and transformed my life. So yeah, that was a fun wild ride. And I would just say to people if you feel in the Romantic Department that you're kind of stuck and what you've been

doing hasn't been working for you, shake things up. It doesn't mean you have to go out with 100 guys in 30 days to meet your handsome prince or the woman of your dreams. It doesn't mean you have to go out with 100 guys in 30 days to meet your handsome prince or the woman of your dreams. It could just be taking some small steps, you know, and changes in how you're meeting people that will make a big difference. Or if people say, I have this type in quotes, let go of that, right? Because ultimately the person who sees you for who you are and accepts you for all of your, you know, good points and the things in your life that you're working on and shows up for you with love and support, that's a person that you want in your life. So let go of, I only date tall guys or I only date skinny women or I only date white people or I only date

people with blonde hair like let go of all of that and just be open and willing to give love and receive love and be open to the experience of meeting and connecting with other human beings and you will find an incredible shift happens in your in your life and being able to draw in a good partner for yourself. That's great and I think a whole bunch of the listeners right now might go out and try to apply your advice. Well I've got time for one more question and I and we have to get to true heart so I went on the site and to me it seems like a search engine that connects you to social causes that would endure to your own self-calling.

Is that kind of what the idea is behind it? Yeah, so, you know, after working at the intersection of Hollywood and philanthropy for the last two decades and connecting celebrities and purpose-driven brands to team up with us to raise millions of dollars for good causes. Scott and I were thinking, how do we help democratize philanthropy and make it more inclusive? We're big believers that there are billions of people

in the world with big hearts who want to transform their local communities, but most people do not have disposable income to donate to charity. So we said, let's harness the power of tech for good and create a free and easy tool where anybody can give back without taking a dollar out of their wallet. So something as simple as searching the web every day. Now you can do it and know that your searches are powering donations to the six amazing charity partners that we support. Smile train, action against hunger, global green, for pause for ability, PFLAG national,

and variety boys and girls club. And these are organizations that work tirelessly on the front lines to save lives, feed the hungry, protect the planet, promote animal welfare, fight for equality, and support our youth. So we're donating 80% of our net profits to our charity partners, and we fund very specific what we call fund dream projects. So rather than donate the money to a general fund, as part of our community, you get to see where every dollar goes to make a difference. So with our friends at

Global Green, we're planting healthy saplings in the Amazon rainforest to combat the devastating wildfires there and to fight climate change. So you literally get to be a part of saving the planet. With our friends at Action Against Hunger, we're providing meals and essential services to families in over 46 countries around the world. With our friends at Smile Train, we're providing free cleft surgeries and essential treatment to children in need in countries around the world. So those are just three of our six projects that we're funding. And I think most people don't realize that the global search engine industry makes hundreds of billions of dollars a year.

And there's just a few big companies that are accumulating all of that global search engine industry makes hundreds of billions of dollars a year. And there's just a few big companies that are accumulating all of that wealth. So we thought, well, why not create a way where we can redistribute some of that wealth to these charities that are changing the world. And the more our community grows, the more charities that we can support, and the more pillars we can add to our platform. And so the more impact we can make and the more lives we can save and transform. So, you know, if you're searching for those cute puppy videos or you want to make a dinner

reservation, whatever it is that you're searching online with your phone, your tablet, your computer, it takes less than 30 seconds to make us your default search engine. And now you can take your power back and consciously commit to having your searches online, make a social environmental impact. What a wonderful idea. Thank you. It's kind of like what Amazon does with their nonprofits who participate with the Amazon, taken to a search level. Yes. That's great, incredible idea. Well, Amy, if the listener or viewer would like to get in touch with you,

what are some ways that they can do it? And I'll make sure they're in the show notes. Thank you, John. Well, we love everyone to join our True Heart community and search to change the world with us. And you could do that at trueheart.com. And if you want to keep up with our social impact campaigns and join us in doing a little bit of good every day, you can follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter at We Are TrueHeart, exactly as those four words are spelled. And if you ever

want to, you know, team up if you're a Pur a purpose driven brand or company or a celebrity or an athlete that wants to link arms with us and do some good for your favorite cause, you can go to our Cause Agency website, which is we are trueheart.com and email us through the website. We're always really excited to meet other people who have a passion for service and giving back. Yeah, and I like your verbiage that you use that by using True Heart, you're allowing people to take their power back in the way

that they're wanting to do searches and who it's impacting. So I thought that that was a great way to, and today's episode is for all the listeners and viewers out there take your power back. Yeah, Amy, thank you so much for being on the show. It was truly at the light. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to have made a new friend today.

And grateful for the positivity that you're putting out there into the universe and helping people unlock their passions so they can go on and do amazing things. So it was really an honor and a pleasure to be on the show. Thank you so much for that. What a great episode with Amy Nalen, and it took a number of twists and turns that were different than I expected,

but I think made it such a more powerful episode. And during our talk today, I mentioned a few previous episodes that you might wanna check out. One is with breast cancer survivor and author of the Cancer Misfit, SES Sasuke Light Start. And this is an incredible episode if you want to talk about self-inspection, looking in the mirror, and completely changing the direction of your life. I also discussed another episode that I did with Dr. Michael Lewis, where we spent

the time talking about PTSD, brain trauma, and also how to prevent suicides. And we also discussed a solo episode that I did which happens to be episode four on facing your brutal reality. We appreciate it so much that you're here. We hope you will return, and if you love today's episode, please give it a five-star rating. It means so much to us and helps us continue to spread the word about this podcast. And if you've truly found inspiration, please forward this episode to like-minded friends who could use a weekly dose of inspiration. Thank you so much for learning how you can become passion struck in your own life. Thank you so much for joining us.

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