Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Dr. James Doty on the Magic of Manifesting a Fulfilling Life EP 452

Starting point is 00:00:00 Coming up next on Passion Strike. When we look through the lens of what I want, this is about acquiring things. And the problem is that when that is your focus, those things become very important because that defines who you are, you believe. And it results in only a very shallow sense of happiness and one that's quite transitory. You have to keep feeding that machine versus eudaemonic happiness, which I believe most people want to aspire to. And that is having a sense of purpose and meaning in your life that drives your behavior. And that is a type of happiness.

Starting point is 00:00:43 It's not as exhilarating necessarily as hedonic happiness, but it is very deep. And it is one that supports you in the sense that when you just think about who you are as a human being, what you have accomplished, what you've done to improve other people's lives, it gives this very warm, deep, calming feeling. And I think that's what everyone ultimately strives for. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power

Starting point is 00:01:25 of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes.

Starting point is 00:01:47 Now, let's go out there and become passion-struck. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to episode 452 of Passion Struck. Consistently ranked the number one alternative health podcast, a heartfelt thank you to each and every one of you who return to the show every week, eager to listen, learn, and to discover new ways to live better, to be better, and most importantly,

Starting point is 00:02:08 to make a meaningful impact in the world. If you're new to the show, thank you so much for being here. Or you simply want to introduce this to a friend or a family member, and we so appreciate it when you do that. We have episode starter packs, which are collections of our fans' favorite episodes that we organize in convenient playlists that give any new listener a great way to get acclimated to everything we do here on the show. Either go to Spotify or

Starting point is 00:02:28 passionstruck.com slash starter packs to get started. I am so excited to announce that my new book Passion Struck is a finalist for the Eric Hoffer Grand Prize as well as the first Horizon Award for Debut Book of the Year. And you can find it on Amazon or on the Passion Struck website. In case you missed it, earlier in the week I interviewed Paul Rabel, who is known as the Michael Jordan of lacrosse and the co-founder of the Premier Lacrosse League. In our episode, Paul dives into his new book, The Way of the Champion, where he shares the essential philosophies and practices that helped him reach the pinnacle of a sport and beyond.

Starting point is 00:03:03 He'll discuss the wisdom glean from icons like Bill Belichick and Steph Curry, and how these lessons can be applied not just in sports, but in every walk of life. And if you liked that previous episode or today's, we would so appreciate you giving it a 5-star rating and review. They go such a long way in strengthening the Passion Star community, where we can help more people to create an intentional life. And I know we and our guests love to hear your feedback. Today, I am thrilled to welcome guests love to hear your feedback. Today I am thrilled to welcome a very special guest, Dr. James R. Dottie, a trailblazer

Starting point is 00:03:30 at the intersection of neuroscience and human potential. Dr. Dottie has been a part of the Stanford University School of Medicine since 1997, where he's made significant contributions to the field of neurosurgery. He is not only a distinguished professor, but also the founder and director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, with none other than His Holiness the Dalai Lama as the founding benefactor. His unique blend of expertise in neurosurgery, neuroscience, and compassion has positioned him as a leading voice in both the scientific and spiritual communities.

Starting point is 00:04:03 Today, we dive into his new groundbreaking book, Mind Magic, the neuroscience of manifestation and how it changes everything. In this work, Dr. Dottie challenges the traditional dismissals of manifestation as mere pseudoscience, revealing its profound implications for personal and global transformation. Through the lens of attention, meditation, visualization, and compassion. He teaches us how these practices can alter our brain structure, enhancing our ability to see clearly, reclaim our agency, and realize our dreams, all while contributing to the healing of the world's

Starting point is 00:04:36 most pressing problems. In our interview today, Dr. Doty welcomes us to an open-hearted call to action to harness our inner power, not just for personal gain, but as a vital contribution to the collective wellbeing. So get ready as we explore the magical interplay of mind and manifestation with Dr. James Doty and discover how we can all participate in creating a kinder, more compassionate world. Thank you for choosing Passion Struck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life.

Starting point is 00:05:03 Now, let that journey begin. I am absolutely thrilled and honored to welcome Dr. Jim Doty to the Passion Struck podcast. Welcome, Jim. It's great to be with you, John. Thank you for having me. And actually I'm looking forward to our conversation. Jim, I wanna start with your backstory.

Starting point is 00:05:24 You had a really tough childhood. You even say that life felt like a punishment or a curse. Your father was an alcoholic and your mom suffered a stroke. Neither was able to give you the attention that you deserved. How did that impact your self-esteem and self-perception to the idea that external forces controlled your fate? Well, I think, unfortunately, that is the tendency of people to feel that way, that you have no control, you don't have any agency.

Starting point is 00:05:51 And of course, with that type of background, my mother was chronically depressed, attempted suicide, we were on public assistance. It really is quite hard to expect that somehow in that type of an environment, you're going to believe you have any self-agency because you don't feel you have any control. And in fact, it's a chaotic situation. You never know what's going to happen next. So your threat mode is always turned on, which of course makes you tense. And you're always waiting for the unexpected.

Starting point is 00:06:22 So it's also hard to focus. And this is why so many children from these types of backgrounds actually are not able to succeed in life. They don't have the tools, they don't have the guidance. And unfortunately, now it's called adverse childhood experiences. A lot of these people, unfortunately, become addicted to drugs or alcohol or have mental health issues. Now, of course, there's also a few that quote unquote succeed, but unfortunately for a number of them, it's from the perspective of nobody cared about me. I had to fight to survive and I don't have to help anybody because nobody

Starting point is 00:06:57 helped me. And of course I'm the antithesis of that actually. Thank you for that, Jim. I understand that when you were around 12, you met a woman named Ruth at a magic shop. Can you tell us how her mentorship started to change your life? Well, as we were talking about, at that age, I had this sense of hopelessness and despair. What's sad for a lot of children is

Starting point is 00:07:19 when they're in that type of environment, oftentimes they blame themselves that somehow I did something that caused this, which is a type of baggage, which of course nobody wants to carry with them, but unfortunately a lot of people do. When you don't have access to mentors, if you don't have access to the resources necessary to get over the hump,

Starting point is 00:07:40 if you will, or these types of disadvantages, it's very hard and often disempowering. What happened was that I ended up at this magic shop because I had an interest in magic, but in this particular case, what happened was when my parents would get into arguments or there would be significant chaos at my house, I would get on my bike and ride as far

Starting point is 00:08:04 and as fast away as possible. And in this particular instance, I ended up at a strip mall where there was in fact a magic shop. Now the interesting thing about that interaction with her was that this is a person who had this radiance about them, this smile that just made you feel comfortable. And the type of interaction wasn't one which oftentimes in the context of going into a store and you see a kid who is either shy or clearly disadvantaged

Starting point is 00:08:34 where you're looking down on them, you're suspicious, you don't know what they're gonna do. This lady treated me like an equal. She looked me in the eye and she created what I would call a sense of psychological safety. And when that happens, actually, your threat mode is diminished and you feel okay. And in this context, her and I began having a conversation. And after about 20 minutes, she said to me, I really like you.

Starting point is 00:09:01 I'm here this summer for another six weeks. And if you show up every day, I'll teach you something that could, I think really help you. And that led to her interacting with me every day for about an hour and a half to two hours. And it was profound because what happened was she taught me a technique of meditation or mindfulness. And of course, at that time, which was in the late 60s,

Starting point is 00:09:28 this terminology was not used at all. And in fact, to my knowledge, nobody was using these types of techniques. And the other aspect was ultimately she taught me a manifestation practice. And the combination of the two of those in many ways liberated me because I had this mindset, and if you want to call it a limiting belief that I was not worthy did not deserve or I couldn't achieve what I wanted to.

Starting point is 00:10:01 That story is from your first book into the magic shop, a neurosurgeon's quest to discover the mysteries of the brain and the secrets of the heart. In that book, you describe a number of tricks that Ruth ended up giving to you. Can you discuss the one that's about how to reframe your situation? That's interesting because all of us carry a perception of ourselves and whether it's true or not is irrelevant because your brain doesn't process things that way. But for many people, especially in a situation like mine, you have a inner critic which is repeatedly telling you're not worthy or you don't deserve love or it's not

Starting point is 00:10:38 possible. And what I thought was that was truth. But what I ultimately learned is that, by the way in which we evolved as a species, we have this negativity bias. And what I mean by that is that as we evolved as a species, the most important thing was our survival. So we are highly attuned to situations which put us at risk. So we turn to negativity. And this is why, of course, you don't see TV shows or, let's say, the news doesn't

Starting point is 00:11:13 focus on positivity. It focuses on negativity because that's what you naturally turn to, because that's what puts your life at risk, or at least how we evolved as a species. But we also have a tendency to take that reality and then turn it in on ourselves and process this narrative that tells us that we're not good enough or we're not worthy. And it's a side effect of that. And I know from talking to so many people

Starting point is 00:11:43 that this essentially affects everyone to greater or lesser degrees. And certainly at that time, that was a big voice in my head. And she taught me a way to look at the world in a different way. And part of that was to realize that was not truth and that I was limiting my beliefs and in some ways creating a prison for myself that I was building and the walls got higher and the room got darker, which of course aggravated my lack of belief in myself. She taught me to look at the world through a different lens. Once I was, if you will, kind to myself, it actually changed how I saw the world, which was actually through the lens now of compassion,

Starting point is 00:12:28 recognizing that everyone is suffering, and that all of us should focus on how we can relieve the suffering of others, because when we can get out of our own heads and stop ruminating on our situation and see that others are suffering, they can be extraordinarily powerful. As the Dalai Lama has said If you want to make others happy be compassionate if you want to be happy be compassionate Yes, it rings. So true. It reminds me of the work that Dacher Keltner does at UC Berkeley. He's a good friend of mine. I

Starting point is 00:13:02 Absolutely loved his book, Ah, and having him on the podcast. And we talked about how he discovered in his research that we find ah, most often when we are observing or performing acts of service. No, and in fact, as you probably know, I have my own podcast called into the magic shop shockingly, but actually Dacher and I had a conversation about that exact same thing. And it's interesting, you may or may not know Karen Armstrong. And Karen won the TED Prize in 2008.

Starting point is 00:13:32 She's our former nun, and she's written a number of books about actually religion. But what she did when she won the TED Prize was that she actually met with 19 spiritual and religious leaders. And at the core, fundamentally, of every religion is compassion. And again, so many things that have spanned thousands of years are actually what has been learned experientially. And in the case of religion, oftentimes, dogma wrapped around it. But it also supports many truths that have now been proven by neuroscience.

Starting point is 00:14:11 And that is that when you're kind and compassionate, when you're thoughtful towards others, this actually stimulates release of oxytocin and other neurotransmitters, transmitters which actually stimulate the reward centers or pleasure centers in our brains and Makes us feel better when we care but more importantly it also shifts from our threat mode or stimulation of our sympathetic nervous system to stimulate our Parasympathetic nervous system, which is our rest and digest system. But in this mode, we're open, we're thoughtful, we're caring. Our creativity, our productivity is increased because we have access to this part of our brain called the executive control network. And that's like the CEO of making things happen, but also is the part that responds to caring and thoughtfulness

Starting point is 00:15:07 when it is, if you will, activated in its best way. In your new book, Mind Magic, the neuroscience of manifestation and how it changes everything, you tell the story of a woman named Anula, where you describe how her chronic anxiety and overwhelming stress hindered her ability to focus and manifest her intentions. From the neuroscience perspective that you were just bringing up, can you describe how mental states like anxiety disrupt the functional connectivity within the brain's large-scale networks that are actually crucial for manifestation? Sure. So as I was saying, if you look from an evolutionary perspective, our physiology works its best when you're kind and thoughtful, when you care.

Starting point is 00:15:50 Now, what do I mean by that? You have to understand that as a species, we're one of the few where our offspring don't run off into the forest or the jungle. We actually have to care for them for well over a decade. Well, of course, that costs in terms of time and resources. That's why we have a genetic imperative to care. Well, what stimulates us to care? When we care, we release these neurotransmitters, which fill us with pleasure. We're happy, we feel good about ourselves. But it also shifts again, as I said,

Starting point is 00:16:25 from engagement of our sympathetic or threat mode, our sympathetic nervous system, to our parasympathetic nervous system. But this has a huge effect on these large cognitive brain networks. And many people don't appreciate that understanding how these work actually can be extraordinarily powerful in actually self-agency or a manifestation. As an example, when your stress mode is stimulated, your sympathetic nervous system, it actually limits your ability to have access to the executive control network. But it also does other things. As an example, we have an area or cognitive network in our brain called the default mode network.

Starting point is 00:17:14 And when we're mind-wandering or daydreaming, this actually is focused on self-referential knowledge, who we are, but also aspect of daydreaming, it is creating narratives about who we want to be or what's possible. When the sympathetic nervous system is stimulated, this oftentimes leads to rumination or this negative self-talk, which then has a detrimental mental effect on the other three and what we call task positive networks, which are the executive control network, what we call the salience network, and the attention network. So if you start out with this rumination or negative aspects,

Starting point is 00:17:58 it can limit your ability to manifest. But the other aspect about it is that the nature of what our Western society calls success, which oftentimes is translated into wealth power position, for many people is an aspiration, but oftentimes it's an aspiration based on fear and insecurity. You want to do these things to get outside affirmation that you're OK in the context of the baggage that you carry or the experiences that you've had or the maladaptive bonding that you've had that then leads to negative self-talk. And so you believe, especially when you get this information as a child, you believe that if I do this, if I do that, then everybody's then going to look

Starting point is 00:18:53 at me and admire me and give me the self-affirmation, and that is going to fill the emptiness that I feel inside myself. And this is where traditional manifestation goes awry. And you look at books as an example, like The Secret, which is all about I. And the problem is, and this happened to me, when I was 12, Ruth asked me to make a list of 10 things that I wanted.

Starting point is 00:19:20 And as a 12 year old, I was looking through that lens and it was all about the eye. I didn't understand at that time, or at least have enough clarity to understand deeply, that I could get all the eye stuff, but it wouldn't fill me. And so on that list, it was, I wanted to have a mansion. I wanted to drive a Porsche.

Starting point is 00:19:42 I wanted a Rolex watch. I wanted a have a mansion. I wanted to drive a Porsche. I wanted a Rolex watch. I wanted a million dollars. And ultimately I manifested every one of those things. And imagine here I had a house overlooking the ocean and Newport Beach on a bluff. I had a penthouse in San Francisco at the top of a building.

Starting point is 00:20:00 I had my private elevator. I had a villa in Florence. I had a Porsche, a Ferrari, a Range Rover, BMW, Mercedes in my garage. I was dating all these beautiful women. And all my friends were telling me what a great life I had and how wow, you've done so much. Yet, I was never more miserable than at any other time in my life. And the reason was because it was all centered around me and it was all centered around trying to fill the void and the insecurity and the shame that I carried.

Starting point is 00:20:37 And ultimately, I reflected and then realized that the way to make these brain networks work their best actually is if you focus on being of service or caring for others. And two things happen. One is when that is your focus, you shift from what you think you want to understand at a very deep level what you need. Thank you for that, Jim. I want to explore that just a bit further. How do you feel that what you just described relates to Henry David Thoreau's famous words,

Starting point is 00:21:11 quiet desperation, that I feel so many people are feeling today? Well, I think it very much relates because in some ways you're lost and you're trying to understand what is it that I'm missing or what is the destination where I need to be going. And oftentimes we don't have a mentor, a guide to help us get there and then we go and choose the wrong path. And then of course, as I described for myself, I went down this path and it was a dead end in terms of fulfillment.

Starting point is 00:21:47 And in many ways, this relates to this concept of hedonic happiness versus eudaemonic happiness. And what I mean by that is when we look through the lens of what I want, this is about acquiring things. And the problem is that when that is your focus, those things become very important because that defines who you are, you believe. And it results in only a very shallow sense of happiness

Starting point is 00:22:19 and one that's quite transitory. You have to keep feeding that machine. Versus eudaemonic happiness, quite transitory. You have to keep feeding that machine versus udamonic happiness, which I believe most people want to aspire to. And that is having a sense of purpose and meaning in your life that drives your behavior. And that is a type of happiness. It's not as exhilarating necessarily as hedonic happiness, but it is very deep.

Starting point is 00:22:50 And it is one that supports you in the sense that when you just think about who you are as a human being, what you have accomplished, what you've done to improve other people's lives, it gives this very warm, deep, calming feeling. And I think that's what everyone ultimately strives for. And it's not that the acquisition of stuff is horrible. Listen, I certainly appreciate nice things.

Starting point is 00:23:20 I like living in a nice house. I like being able to do what I want to do in the sense of having freedom, but that requires financial resources. I am in no way condemning somebody working hard to achieve, again, what our modern society says is success. In fact, I drive a Porsche. The point, though, is, and the big difference is,

Starting point is 00:23:45 none of those things define who I am as a person. What I mean by that is, while I enjoy them, they're wonderful, they're fantastic, I have no attachment to them. If they are all gone tomorrow, I will wake up having gratitude, feeling incredibly happy and thankful that I have been able to do what I've been able to do in this world.

Starting point is 00:24:09 And it's okay not to have them anymore. And that's the difference because a lot of people, their identity, their ego is so defined by things that they're terrified of what will happen if they lose them. And I think that's the big difference. That's the big insight. And that in fact is the change in perspective, which actually allows you to maximally manifest a life and one that you can be proud of. You and I have different careers, but share a very similar story. I was also on a rocket ship in my professional career.

Starting point is 00:24:47 Like you, I prescribed myself to a single-minded, unrelenting path of material achievement, driven by the prodding of my inner critic. Therefore, I really liked in the book how you used the analogy that the life that you were leading was like a heart blockage, where the common treatment is angioplasty, which only provides temporary relief. You use that analogy to describe how what you really need to be focused on is the ignorance about habitual behaviors and emotional distress that are causing the plaque in your heart in the first place. It's very true. And the problem is that the behaviors that we're taught, as an example,

Starting point is 00:25:24 this striving for achievement, which we're talking about for yourself, in some ways we get programmed on that under this false belief that if we just get that, everything's going to be fine. And in some ways it also relates to Buddhist philosophy that attachment and craving are the source of all suffering. But the problem of course is, as you were just noting with this metaphor, is that unfortunately we always try to take the easy way out and meaning that your brain is lazy oftentimes

Starting point is 00:25:58 and takes what's familiar versus the unknown. But when you keep doing the familiar, you keep getting these heart blockages, if you will, the cholesterol, if you will, keeps building up. Then you have to keep going back for this temporary procedure and you could say that the acquisition of things cleans the arteries you think.

Starting point is 00:26:20 But the problem is you keep clogging them again with things versus in some ways, it's like changing your diet and understanding that the things or chasing things only leads to narrowing of your arteries that will require an intervention versus if you actually change your diet, well, then the arteries not only will clear, but they will stay open. And that is the changing of your diet from the perspective of I want to how can I be of service. And that is a very powerful thing. And it is truly an analogy or metaphor that does represent this oath. Jim, I think that is a great one. And an analogy that I often use is that of the kitchen stool.

Starting point is 00:27:18 And I talk about this as if my life has been two different kitchen stools. My previous kitchen stool that I was sitting on had multiple supports, but there was one that was much larger than the other supports underneath it. And that was the constant grind that I was living in. And then I decided that I had a choice. I could create my ideal life, which consisted of different supports

Starting point is 00:27:39 underneath my stool that were in balance. And I chose those supports to be things like physical health, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, relationship health, financial health. And then I started to manifest. How do I go from the actual self where I was at to this new version that I pictured in this new stool with these different supports that were in harmony with each other? And I bring this up because manifestation can be a tricky thing. A lot of people don't want to believe in it. And you mentioned in the book about the unfortunate misunderstandings surrounding manifestation

Starting point is 00:28:10 that are often skewed towards materialism. How does your approach in magic mind aim to correct these misconceptions and realign the practice with more meaningful life outcomes? Well, what we were talking about earlier in some ways about religion through hundreds, if not thousands of years, through repeated experience, there are certain truths that we have learned that are deeply embedded in us. But because of our lack of knowledge,

Starting point is 00:28:38 we wrap a dogma around them. What we find is that things, as an example, like manifestation, they do have a kernel of truth to them, but it is wrapped around what you could call or pseudoscience. As an example, if you look back to a term that's frequently associated with the oocyte

Starting point is 00:29:01 of manifestation, it's this law of attraction, which began in the first and second century AD with the hermetics, who had this concept of what's above connects with what's below. And this was looking for something outside of yourself or some sort of magic or power or omniscient being that will judge you worthy, and then you get what you want.

Starting point is 00:29:27 If you're only aligned with quote unquote the universe. Of course, the problem with that is on some level, you can actually beat yourself up or creates a negative because you're saying, well, it didn't happen. Therefore, I'm the problem. And of course, that's not true at all. The reality is that the universe could care less about you. What we don't understand is the power within ourselves

Starting point is 00:29:56 to change our lives. And this power is extraordinarily powerful and we have to reclaim our agency. As an example, I was telling you about I kept looking outside for the universe to make me whole or these external affirmations. And the reality, as you have learned, and I have learned, is that you are the only person who can make you happy. But what the interesting paradox is,

Starting point is 00:30:27 you're the only person that can make you happy, but you have to then look outside of yourself for those actions and interactions in the world and with others that will give you that gift of happiness and you can understand how powerful that is. A minute ago, we were talking about goals, aspirations, or attachment to a goal. The problem with that, as you were pointing out for yourself,

Starting point is 00:30:54 your existence was based on this stool that was held up by this belief that to make you whole was to accomplish. The problem with that is in many ways, that is an I or me focused narrative. And the problem is when you're so attached to attaining those goals or climbing that mountain it comes at an extraordinary cost. And often that cost is lack of relationship with those around you, your loved ones. This is why often so many people who have been so driven have been through multiple divorces. They don't know how to have relationships because

Starting point is 00:31:34 everything about them is focused on the me I want, and this false narrative that if I get it, then everything suddenly is going to be perfect and it doesn't happen because the power of these achievements actually must be looked at in the context of by achieving this. One, how does it benefit the greater world? But also understanding that on that path, it's not the endpoint, it is the path itself.

Starting point is 00:32:07 And it is on that path where you develop relationships, connections. And we know from looking, as an example, at the blue zones, where these villages are places in the world where people live routinely over 100, which represents how we lived a few hundred years ago or a few thousand years ago, or the work that's been done at Harvard over the last 85 years on the adult development study, which many people call the happiness laryngevity study. What we know is that the way to decrease engagement of our sympathetic nervous system, our flight, fight, or fear response is through what? It's through connection.

Starting point is 00:32:50 It's through support from others. It's from depth of relationships. When you have that, that shifts you from engagement of your stress mode to engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system, which is that system when one is engaged, makes you happy and fulfilled because you're caring for others, but it also makes your physiology work its best.

Starting point is 00:33:16 When I said earlier that attachment or craving or this desire that goes deep into you to achieve, when that is what you're focused on, that in and of itself is going to create suffering. There's nothing wrong with having the goal. It's what you're attaching to the goal and it's important. And if the cost of achieving that goal is at the sacrifice of everything else, what is it that you've done and why are you doing that? That's a really enlightening way to think about it, Jim.

Starting point is 00:33:52 I recently had Angela Duckworth on the show where we were discussing West Point, and I wanted to use this as an opportunity to thank you for your Army service. Well, yes, and same to you. And I actually have to say my experience in the military, and it may be counter to other people's was an extraordinary gift for me. It allowed me to go to medical school without a huge financing of it. It allowed me

Starting point is 00:34:16 to learn something about life and about myself. And in many ways, what happened there actually was even a gift in regard to manifesting, not only obtaining my residency, but also actually being stationed in Honolulu for my tour. And so I am very proud of my service and very happy and thankful that I had the opportunity to serve. Thank you for sharing that. And going back to Angela Duckworth, for those of you who are unfamiliar with her book, RIT,

Starting point is 00:34:53 she starts it out by talking about cadets at West Point and what allowed them to have the fortitude to get through beast barracks. I happened to go through the Naval Academy, which is very similar. And in our interview, I was talking to her about passion and perseverance, which are the two ingredients that she say relate to grit. And I told her that I thought from my own time at the Naval Academy,

Starting point is 00:35:13 that those were two extremely important things. But I thought she was missing the core concept of intentionality, which to me is all about manifesting the life that you want. It's really understanding when your life is not going in the direction that you want it to, and course correcting yourself back under the right path. To me, this is very similar to the behavior science that Angela studies on self-control. I wanted to ask you, Jim, is this the same way that you look at this interplay between intentionality and passion and perseverance? Absolutely. It's funny, I just had a conversation.

Starting point is 00:35:45 I don't know if you know a woman by the name of Kyra Bobanette, and she's a physician, but she also used to be the chief wellness officer at Aetna, which is of course a large insurance company. But we were having this conversation. And again, as you were talking about what Angela has promoted, unless you have a mindset that understands these other aspects, and in some ways, what Kyra

Starting point is 00:36:12 talks about is an iterative mindset, then you can get lost. And I think that's an important insight. And I think that's one of the things that's missing. Because again, if you look at the popular narrative also of the woo woo pseudoscience aspect of manifestation, especially as promoted by the secret, it's a very self serving aspect. And yes, you can achieve. But if you're standing on the mountain by yourself alone with nothing else, what is it that you've achieved? I absolutely love that, Jim. And I wanted to go through some of the steps in your book.

Starting point is 00:36:51 There are a total of six of them. And as I mentioned to you before we came on the show, my new book, which came out in February, titled Passion Struck, is very complementary to your book. Your first step, you title, Reclaim Your Power to Focus Your Mind. In my book, I had a very similar principle to that, which is actually the last principle that I outlined in the book called conscious engager. This chapter is really about how to make the main thing, the main thing in your life. And I feel like you do that by intentionally focusing

Starting point is 00:37:18 on the main thing in your life that you want to manifest. Can you describe what you're relating to in this step? Well, I think there are a couple aspects that intersect with that step. One of them is to understand what you have been manifesting. And I think this is necessary to really look at your life in its totality to that point.

Starting point is 00:37:41 And we were talking about adverse childhood experiences and trauma from childhood. What so many people don't appreciate is that those experiences become baggage that we carry throughout our lives and become patterns of behavior that on one hand can be very good if the circumstances are there, but also one that can be very self-limiting in terms of your belief and possibilities. And I'm sure you're aware of the fact where people sit there and say, they're trying to examine their life and they'll say, gosh, I don't understand. And I've been married three times and I keep marrying an alcoholic abusive person.

Starting point is 00:38:22 And you're going, why does that happen? Well, it happens because on an unconscious level, you have programmed this into the type of person you want to be with unconsciously not knowing it. Because what happens is, as an example, if you have an abusive parent who is abusive and then comes to you and says, I really love you though. Then you get locked into this thing between love and abuse. Then that's what you keep seeking. One of the first things is to examine the life you're living presently and understanding what have been the barriers that have stopped you from living the life you want.

Starting point is 00:39:03 Then the other side is understanding that what you've done is you've put your happiness outside of yourself, meaning that many people from those types of backgrounds also are trying to fix people in the hopes that then they'll be fixed and then our relationship will be OK. And you have to actually also understand that when you do that, you're giving your own agency away.

Starting point is 00:39:31 So you have to take yourself agency back and then understand one, why you chose the path you've chosen, but also two, what is it that you actually want to manifest? Thank you so much, Jim. This leads me into your step two, which is similar to the first principle that I read about in my book, which is all about the concept of life crafting. Your second step in a similar way is clarifying what you want. They are both really aimed at trying to find out what it is that you want in life.

Starting point is 00:40:01 How do you recommend that listeners can clarify what they truly want? Well, I think it has to come back to actually seeing. And what I mean by that is if you are filled with the repeating narrative of who you are as being unworthy, not worthy of love, I'm not able to do this, I'm limited, I'm not smart. Well, then you paint a picture of that. And remember, your brain doesn't know the difference between truth and reality. It's as an example, if you were to consciously focus

Starting point is 00:40:35 or visualize yourself being a weightlifter, actually your muscle mass will actually increase simply based on that belief. Now, you're not going to be Arnold Schwarzenegger because there are many more aspects of that. But my point is that you have the ability to change your brain, but you have to understand what is it you need to make you happy or to make you have the life you want. And you have to understand that if you reflect on your life, what are the things that are most powerful? And typically it is who cared about me, who gave me love, who made me feel comfortable, who gave me the gifts of their time

Starting point is 00:41:16 or resources to be with me. And those are the things that are the deep things within most of us. And when you sit there and reflect, you say, well, then if those are the things that are the gift to me that have allowed me to achieve or feel comfortable, well, isn't that what we're here for? And isn't that what everyone wants? And then when you reframe it from this constant I want with this ultimate understanding that the I want is unhealthy for you, not only in the

Starting point is 00:41:52 context of your physical and mental health, but it's unhealthy for you in the context of living a full life, because that you're always judging yourself, you're always judging others. You're always judging others when you let go of this attachment and see through a different lens that everyone is suffering and that you have the ability to improve the lives of others by the actions and choices you make in life and realize that when you do so, when you're open, when you give to others, that you actually get this immense benefit back. And oftentimes it changes your perspective from one of self-interest only to one of how can I be of service? And then you change what you want.

Starting point is 00:42:41 And as I said, chasing the hedonic side of happiness, which is the I want things, that chasing leads to a shallowness and a transience versus chasing of, I want to be of service and care for others. And then I get all these other gifts. That is powerful. It's deep. And it's long lasting.

Starting point is 00:43:07 Thank you so much, Jim. The last one of your steps that I really wanted to go into since this podcast is all about intentional behavior change is step four. How do you recommend embedding intention into your subconscious? I think that's really the most important question, because all of us are manifesting all the time. And in some ways, it's like an individual who says, I want to be a runner. I want to run a marathon. Well, every day we get up and walk around,

Starting point is 00:43:35 and we could sit there and say, well, geez, I want to be a marathon runner. But one of the aspects is you have to show up, and it takes work. It's not a one and done or, okay, yeah, I said it, okay. So you have to understand that if you want to manifest, it takes work. Well, what is the work?

Starting point is 00:43:55 One of the first aspects is understanding. And we see this in some of the woo woo neuroscientists stuff of what you need to do. But again, it's wrapped in this dogma. But the first thing you have to do is clarify the intention. What is it that I want? But also, how do you embed it into your subconscious? What so many people don't understand is that who we

Starting point is 00:44:17 are ultimately comes down to how we define ourselves. If you then create an image of who you want to be and understand that 99.99% of who we are is from our sensory organs, inputting information of which all of that goes to maintaining homeostasis of the functions of our body, but there's a small percentage of which we have the ability to consciously interact with. The reason that's important is because there's something called value tagging. Value tagging is where you define an intention and you're able to put it into your subconscious.

Starting point is 00:45:00 This is where these other two networks come in that I mentioned earlier, the salience network and the attention network. Once you value tag something, then it becomes important to you. As an analogy, and I'll give you maybe a couple. One is, I'm sure you've been to parties that are noisy. Yet, if your name is mentioned,

Starting point is 00:45:23 no matter how noisy it is, you turn to that. The reason is because who you are, your identity is deeply embedded within you. Even if it's the lowest sounding thing, you will turn to it. Another example is a few months ago, there's a project I've been working on that has been important to me that I, if you will,

Starting point is 00:45:44 I'm attempting to manifest. I value tagged it. And I was at a coffee shop, very noisy. Yet, in the din of all of that noise, I heard some words associated with that project, which then led me to interact with these two individuals who are now working with me on this project. And the reason is that it was value tag, and it became salient in that it became important to me. Once it became important to me, this then focused my attention network, and the two of those then resulted in empowering the executive control network or the CEO of our memories, experiences, and the drivers of making

Starting point is 00:46:32 our beliefs reality to act. How do you embed this? Well, one of these ways is very traditional ways in which we manifest actually, and which is in common popular culture, but it has to be for the right reason. And that is you write down your intention, you read it silently,

Starting point is 00:46:56 you read it aloud, you visualize yourself in that position. And the important thing is to understand that the most critical aspect is repetition. So that by repeating it over and over, it's as if you're looking through a window that is initially fogged. But as you further and further empower your subconscious to manifest, that window gets clear and clear. And you mentioned Anula here. She was a student who had failed at getting into medical school, had all this self-doubt. And once she shifted from why she was doing what she was doing, which initially it was in some way self-serving, she wanted to make her parents

Starting point is 00:47:43 happy when she shifted how she looked at the world to say, I want to be a doctor, to be of service to people, which secondarily will make my parents happy, everything changed for her. She changed her perception, the window cleared. And ultimately this resulted in her, through this type of mind training, if you will, or what's outlined in the book, to develop a calmness and a sense of agency regarding her purpose.

Starting point is 00:48:13 The other analogy which I use is Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey used to look at the audience and it was, well, I'm here and they're giving me something. That's how he looked at this. He changed completely when he reframed it and said, I'm here to be of service, to make my audience feel better. In some ways, another analogy, and I'm sure you're familiar with Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin.

Starting point is 00:48:43 He used to express a great degree of anger because everybody wanted him to play Stairway to Heaven. He thought that these people were being selfish and that he should have the right and they should want to listen to his latest music. But ultimately, what he understood was that song meant so much to so many people in terms of experiences they had in their lives that they held closely to them and they so wanted to just hear it

Starting point is 00:49:14 again from the guy who created that. And when he changed his reference points and understood that his job and actually what made him successful was giving people what they wanted and needed. The anger and hostility he had towards doing that dissipated and he was actually joyful that he was able to give that gift to people. Funny enough the first concert that I ever attended was Led Zeppelin with my uncle when I was two years old. He put me on his shoulders for the show. When I think of a modern band in a situation like you were describing, I think of the Dave Matthews band. And I love going to see him in concert, but I have to go to four or five concerts in a row to hear and play all the songs that I want to hear.

Starting point is 00:49:58 Exactly. Yep. I want to conclude today by asking you in terms of practical application, what are some of the immediate exercises or routines that a listener can start doing today out of your new book, Mind Magic? Well, in some ways this very much intersects with mind training. And I think so many of us are so distracted by social media and living in this modern world, that we always have this jumble of things in our heads and it's hard to focus. I think one of the first things is being able to sit quietly and calm your mind.

Starting point is 00:50:37 There are many resources, including my book, of course, that gives you a path to do so. What I think confuses so many people is, especially if you're already anxious and stressed, is this view in your head that somehow you have to sit on a mat with your palms up like this, and that's the only way you're going to get access. But the reality is, you can get this without stressing yourself, because again, this isn't a contest that you're there to win. You have to simply relax and whether it's standing up,

Starting point is 00:51:10 whether it's lying down, whether it's walking through a forest, simply not being distracted and being with yourself and understand that's okay. Looking as you're doing this through the lens of how can I be of service? The very nature of thinking about how can I be of service to others? How can I improve the lives of others? What magically happens is the very nature of doing that when you think about who cared for you is very calming.

Starting point is 00:51:41 And then once your brain is calm, you can see the true nature of reality. Instead of being so distracted. And that's one you deserve love. You are worthy. And that you have immense power within yourself to change not only your life, but the life of so many people around you. Jim, your book is absolutely fantastic. Thank you so much for joining me on the podcast today. And I wanted to tell the audience,

Starting point is 00:52:11 I highly recommend this book and that you pick up a copy. Well, thank you, John. And really what a gift to hang out with a fellow veteran. Yeah. And thank you for your time. I do appreciate it. And for all of you, I do hope you enjoy the book and I look forward to seeing you again, John,

Starting point is 00:52:29 and hopefully we'll have other interactions. Sounds fantastic. Thank you again, Jim. Take care. What an incredible honor that was to interview Dr. Jim Doty. And I wanted to thank Jim, Emma Cepella, Alyssa Fortinato and Penguin Random House

Starting point is 00:52:43 for the honor and privilege of having them appear on today's show. Links to all things Jim will be in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Please use our website links if you purchase any of the books from the guests that we feature here on the show. Are you curious to find out where you stand

Starting point is 00:52:55 on the Passion Struck Continuum? Then dive into our engaging Passion Struck Quiz. Crafted to reflect the core principles for my brand new book, Passion Struck. This quiz offers you a dynamic way to gauge your progress on the Passion Struck continuum. Just head over to passionstruck.com right now to take the quiz. It consists of 20 questions and will take you about 10 minutes to complete. Take the quiz today. Videos are on YouTube at both our main channel, John R. Miles, and our clips channel, Passion Struck Clips. Please go subscribe and join over a quarter million

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Starting point is 00:53:50 or my personal website at johnrmiles.com. You're about to hear a preview of the Passion Struck podcast interview that I did with Mimi Bouchard, a trailblazer in the wellness industry and the visionary behind the innovative Superhuman app. In this episode, Meanie shares her secrets to transforming yourself through mindfulness,

Starting point is 00:54:07 self-discipline, and embracing a lifestyle that aligns with your deepest desires. This is not a meditation app. As much as meditation can be beneficial to help you de-stress, this is a transformation app. This is for the type of person that wants to literally become the highest version of themselves and to transform

Starting point is 00:54:27 from being the old self to the future self. So I needed everything about it to embody this understanding that this is for transformation. Remember that we rise by lifting others. So share the show with those that you love and care about. And if you found today's episode with Jim Doty intriguing or inspirational, then definitely share it with those who could use his message. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, go out there and become passion-struck.

Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Dr. James Doty on the Magic of Manifesting a Fulfilling Life EP 452

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