Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Fading into Insignificance: The Impact of Un-Mattering in Our Interconnected Era w/John R. Miles EP 359

Starting point is 00:00:00 Coming up next on PassionStruck, the ripple effects of un-mattering are profound, shaping not only personal experiences, but also the larger fabric of society. It's paramount that we understand the importance of valuing every person, not solely for the individual's well-being, but as the foundation for a just, inclusive,

Starting point is 00:00:21 and unified world. Welcome to PassionStruck. Hi, I'm your host, John Armiles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show,

Starting point is 00:00:45 I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guest-ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become passion struck. Hello everyone and welcome back to Momentum Friday, an episode 359 of passion struck, consistently ranked by Apple as one of the top 10 health podcasts in the world and the number one alternative health podcast.

Starting point is 00:01:18 And thank you to each and every one of you who come back weekly. To listen and learn, how to live better, be better and impact the world. If you're new to the show, thank you so much for joining us here today. the fact that we have a new episode of Starterpacks, which are collections of our fans' favorite episodes, that we organize in the convenient topics. I give any new listener a great way to get acclimated to everything we do here on the show. Either go to Spotify or PassionStark.com or slash Starterpacks to get started. In case you missed it, earlier in the week, I had on two of my favorite episodes, to get acclimated to everything we do here on the show. Either go to Spotify or passionstruck.com or slash starter packs to get started.

Starting point is 00:01:47 In case you missed it, earlier in the week, I had on two fantastic guests. The first was Martinez Evans, a man whose life is a testimony to the power of intentionality. Martinez has embarked on a life-smission to make running a sport for everyone, which is fueled by his unwavering commitment to inclusivity and to the empowerment of others. He is the author of the Slow AF Run Club, the ultimate guide to anybody who wants to run. I also interviewed Dr. Evo Bergman, who is a renowned philosopher, management consultant, and author of the groundbreaking book, paradoxical leadership, through his practical methodology and extensive toolkit, Evo unveils how to transform diverse dilemmas into creative solutions and paralyzing polarization

Starting point is 00:02:31 into constructive dialogue. Please check both those episodes out and we feel like them, or today's, we would so appreciate it if you gave us a five star rating in review. Those go such a long way in bringing more people into the passion struck community where we can teach them principles of meaning, significance, hope, and provide weekly doses of inspiration. I know we and our guests love to see your feedback. Now, let's talk about today's Momentum Friday episode in the troblizing words of philosopher, psychologist William James from the principles of psychology. If no one turned around when we entered, answered when we spoke or minded what we did, but if every person we met put us as dead and acted as if we were nonexisting things. A kind of rage and impotent despair would before long well up in us, from which the cruelest

Starting point is 00:03:22 bodily torture would be a relief through this haunting imagery. James amplifies the torment of being socially invisible. It's not just about physical pain, but the deep emotional scars that come from lacking human connection from not mattering. In last week's solo episode, I embarked on a reflective journey into the essence of mattering, unraveling its intricate tapestry and its pivotal role in weaving the threads of our social and emotional well-being. Today, we plunge into its shadowy counterpart, anti-mattering. In this episode, I'll illuminate the sinister undertoes of un mattering, exploring how

Starting point is 00:03:58 its tendrils may insidiously oil around the realms of relationships, workplaces, and communities. Affixiating our intrinsic need or significance and belonging by entangling the web of anti-matter and we aspire to better understand the barriers for venting genuine connection and significance. Join me as we navigate to provocative stories, at Peelback, the layers of anti-matter impact. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your hosting guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. Picture a tranquil suburbia where Sarah resides. A beacon of warmth and a micability.

Starting point is 00:04:44 For years, she has been the sunflower in the garden, turning to every voice, smiling at every face, and extending her hand in generosity. Yet, this sunflower felt overshadowed by tall, dense trees of indifference. Neighbors really pulled her into their social orbits. Conversations with her neighbors. However, as the day of the picnic arrived, Sarah noticed something disheartening. While most of her neighbors attended, they formed tight-knit groups, chatting in the air, and were able to communicate with her. The first time she was in the air, she was able to communicate with her neighbors, and was able to communicate with her neighbors. However, as the day of the picnic arrived, Sarah noticed something disheartening. While most of her neighbors attended, they formed tight

Starting point is 00:05:28 knit groups, chatting animatedly amongst themselves, seemingly oblivious to her presence. Sarah wandered around the picnic, trying to join conversations, but she often found herself standing on the fringe of these groups, like an outsider looking in. As laughter and conversation swirled around, Sarah felt more like a spectator than a participant. People occasionally smiled and made small talk, but their attention soon drifted back to their circles. Sarah couldn't shake the feeling that she was merely a peripheral figure, someone who didn't quite belong every attempt to join the merry circles, met with fleeting acknowledgements, leaving her feeling more

Starting point is 00:06:05 adrift. When the days festivities dimmed with the setting sun, Sarah retreated, nursing a heart heavy with the anguish of invisibility. Her story starkly illustrates how anti-mattering, and manifest in everyday life where individuals like Sarah, despite their best intentions, can feel excluded and undervalued within their communities. Now, let's examine the tale of Emma, dedicated and sincere. Emma excelled as a customer service representative for a leading tech firm. She wasn't just another voice on the line.

Starting point is 00:06:36 She was the human touch that resonated with customers, going above and beyond to address their concerns. However, a shift in the wings of progress saw the company leaning into automation. Designed to enhance efficiency, this system sidelined its most valuable asset, the human workforce. Once at the forefront of client interactions, Emma and her peers now found their roles diminished. The warm, empathetic exchanges, which had been Emma's signature, were replaced by cold automated responses. The ramifications were immediate. Emma's sense for once electric connection with clients dissolving, replaced by a pervasive feeling of insignificance.

Starting point is 00:07:13 It wasn't merely about tasks becoming redundant. It was the erosion of genuine relationships and human essence at once defined her role. The sense of disposability lingered beyond her professional role, shattering Emma's sense of purpose. Her personal fulfillment deeply rooted in the meaningful bonds that she had built now seemed a distant memory. Emma felt reduced to a mere cog replaced in a vast technological machinery. Emma's tale is a poignant reminder, while innovation and efficiency are crucial in a tech-driven world, they shouldn't eclipse the irreplaceable human touch,

Starting point is 00:07:47 regardless of technological advances, the need to be acknowledged, seen, and cherished remains paramount. So with those two potent stories as a backdrop, let's dive into the concept of anti-mattering, introduced by Dr. Gordon Flette and his team at York University in Ontario, Canada, the notion of anti-mattering centers on the feelings of insignificance and invisibility.

Starting point is 00:08:09 Their research emphasized that feeling, like you don't matter, isn't just an absence of mattering, but it's a distinct negative experience in itself. They aim to quantify this sensation, and thus develop the anti-mattering scale, known as AMS. At its core, anti-mattering scale known as AMS. At its core, anti-mattering implies sense of insignificance. Invisibility were feeling unimportant to others. It's not just about being unnoticed, but feeling that one's presence or contributions are deliberately disregarded and undervalued.

Starting point is 00:08:39 Resistant feelings of anti-mattering can manifest in a myriad of ways, including feelings of isolation, diminished self-worth, and even depression. In contrast, positive feelings of connection and significance, which are evoked by mattering, anti-mattering conveys a sense of isolation, disregard loneliness and unimportant. The quantify and differentiate anti-mattering from mere feelings of non-belonging or lack of support leads team developed the anti-mattering from mere feelings of non-belonging or lack of support leaks team developed the anti-mattering scale.

Starting point is 00:09:06 This tool not only provides a measurement, but also dissects anti-mattering into identifiable components, offering a structured lens, a view, and understand this otherwise intangible experience. Here's a glimpse into the five item anti-mattering scale, consisting of questions that delve into an individual's perception of their own significance in the eyes of others. The five questions go like this. How much do you feel like you don't matter? How much do you feel like you will never matter to certain people? How often have you been made to feel by someone that they don't care about what you think or what you have

Starting point is 00:09:41 to say? How often have you been treated in a way that makes you feel like you're insignificant? And lastly, what extent have you been made to feel like you're invisible? Each item is then evaluated on a scale. For instance, one equals not at all and five equals very much, providing a tangible metric to an otherwise nebulous feeling. Through these introspective queries,

Starting point is 00:10:02 the AMS facilitates a deeper understanding and awareness of the instances and intensities of anti-mattering experiences, paving the way for insightful research and potential interventions. So with that all as a backdrop, let's now take a look at how COVID-19 impacted the silent struggle of anti-mattering. The COVID-19 pandemic unveiled more than just a health crisis and economic instability. It unmasked the pervasive undertone of anti-mattering.

Starting point is 00:10:28 The sentiment of feeling overlooked and insignificant spreads stealthily throughout societies, harryling the very virus that instigated it. The pandemic protocols, social distancing, lockdowns, quarantines, triggered widespread social isolation. This sudden detachment from the familiar left many feeling lost, undervalued, and invisible. While digital platforms tried to fill the void, they couldn't entirely replace the warm and death of in-person interactions. Alarmingly, the pandemic's consequences weren't evenly distributed.

Starting point is 00:10:59 Vulnerable groups, already on the sidelines, found themselves further sidelined, intensifying their feelings of anti-mattering. They bore the brunt of health impacts, feeling abandoned by the very system that was meant to safeguard them. The economic repercussions only deepen the sense of neglect as jobs disappeared and financial futures became uncertain. The sensation of not-mattering surged individuals felt marginalized by the economy and overlooked in recovery initiatives.

Starting point is 00:11:27 Furthermore, the abrupt shift to online learning magnified educational inequalities. Those lacking adequate resources felt cast aside, watching peers progress while they remain trapped behind a widening digital gap. As the virus took lives, it also robbed us of our usual ways to mourn, hope, and to find closure. The collective and yet deeply personal grief intensified healings of being alone and unheard. Psychologist Gordon Flett captured this sentiment when he observed, due to the pandemic's isolating nature and overwhelming external pressures, healings of insignificance have become alarmingly commonplace.

Starting point is 00:12:04 His observations highlight an imperative. As we navigate the aftermath of a 19, addressing the silent, emotional, and psychological toll, it's taken on individual self-worth and belonging, becomes just as important as healing the invisible scars. Now, in addition to COVID-19, let's look at text double-edged sword, which is advancing the rise of anti-mattering. In the digital age, as technology accelerates, its impact on personal connections and self-worth unfolds with striking complexity, illustrated by Emma's narrative, modern technologies ranging from social media to artificial intelligence, has shadows over our sense of mattering. Often, leaving individuals feeling sidelined in an ever-expanding digital world, let's

Starting point is 00:12:49 examine some of the ways it's doing so. The first is social media's deceptive promises. Social media platforms appear to bridge distances, enabling us to broadcast our lives globally. But beneath this veneer, they can intensify feelings of obscurity while we chase virtual validation through likes and shares genuine human recognition, the kind that truly resonates and often slip through the cracks. Second, we get caught in an algorithms web in the realm of artificial intelligence. Algorithms mold our digital footprints, intended to curate personalized experiences.

Starting point is 00:13:24 They often inadvertently narrow our world views. Such filter bubbles can sideline those whose perspectives veer away from the mainstream, fostering feelings of exclusion. Third, there's the automation paradox. Automation with its promise of efficiency brings about challenges in job security. As machines take over routine tasks, the relevance of certain roles dwindles. In fact, McKenzie estimates by 2030 automation could affect up to 30% of the current US workforce, particularly impacting black and Hispanic workers. Oldman sacks, paints, and even starker picture, suggesting a threat to over 300 million jobs globally. Fourth, then there's virtual spaces and the loss of empathy.

Starting point is 00:14:07 The digital frontier, while expansive, can be a breeding ground for detached interactions. A cloak of online anonymity often magnifies behaviors like cyberbullying, which amplifies feelings of insignificance. In virtual arenas, a lack of human touch and diminish empathy and understanding. In summary, while the digital revolution carols unprecedented connectivity, it paradoxically amplifies the challenge of anti-mattering. As we embrace technological progress, we must also be acutely aware of its human implications. Prioritizing genuine human connections and ethical tech practices ensures a digital world where everyone feels acknowledged,

Starting point is 00:14:46 validated and truly seen. So now that we've looked at the impact of COVID-19, as well as the impact of the digital age on our sense of matter, let's unveil the forties of disconnection. In a world that's tightly woven by technological advances and social networks, the hunger for authentic connection and validation is more palpable than ever. However, contrasting this web of interconnections is the haunting specter of anti-mattering, creating a dichotomy in our lived experiences.

Starting point is 00:15:14 This complex phenomenon unravels into a series of profound consequences, aptly termed a four Ds. The first D is personal devaluation. This pertains to an individual's diminishing sense of self-worth. It's the internal narrative where individuals start to question their very significance, relevance, and even their existence in the world. This devaluation is not merely a fleeting sentiment, but can deeply embed itself in one psyche, influencing thoughts, behaviors,

Starting point is 00:15:43 and overall mental well-being. The second D is relational disconnection. The innate desire to form and maintain meaningful relationships is at the core of human existence. Anti-matter and creates chasms in these connections, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. People begin to feel like they're out of sync with those around them, leading to strained personal relationships, a lack of social belonging and a pervasive feeling of being othered or excluded. The third D is work disengagement.

Starting point is 00:16:12 In the professional realm, anti-mattering manifests as a growing detachment from one's work roles and responsibilities. Individuals may begin to feel that their contributions are inonsequential, fostering a sense of purposelessness. This can result in decreased productivity, lack of motivation, and even a complete withdrawal from one's professional life. The fourth D is community disintegration. On a macro level, when individuals or groups

Starting point is 00:16:37 consistently experience anti-mattering, there's a ripple effect on the larger community. Cohesive community ties begin to unravel, leading to fragmentation, the shared sense of purpose, unity, and mutual respect that binds communities together becomes compromised, making collaboration and collective advancement challenging. In essence, the repercussions of antimatterin encapsulated by the 40s serve as a stark reminder of the importance of fostering environments where every individual feels

Starting point is 00:17:05 valued, seen, and heard, in an error defined by its connections. It's imperative that these connections are genuine, meaningful, and inclusive. So now that we have gone through the four Ds, let's unpack the ripple effects of how anti-mattering impacts are well-being. While un-mattering may not immediately seem like it's a pervasive issue,

Starting point is 00:17:24 it can give rise to several challenges and dangers, both on an individual and a society level. I'm going to dive into some of the significant dangers of unmaidering. The first is mental and emotional well-being, as demonstrated by the stories of Bocera and Emma, feelings of insignificance and lead to negative mental health outcomes, like anxiety, depression, and reduced self-worth. Constant undertow of feeling unimportant and erode one's emotional equilibrium. Individuals grappling with anti-mattering often report feelings of sadness, hopelessness,

Starting point is 00:17:55 and desolation. Over time, this can culminate in chronic mood disorders, additionally the perpetual feeling of being overlooked and result in heightened anxiety, especially in social settings, leading to increased alienation. Second, anti-matter and creates social isolation, stemming from the perception that their existence or contributions are trivial. Individuals may retreat from social engagements. Loneliness and isolation have correlated with a myriad of health detriment, spanning from

Starting point is 00:18:23 cardiovascular issues who impaired immune functioning to suicidal tendencies. Third, there are physical health consequences. The link between emotional and physical health is well established. Persistent emotional distress, like that stemming from anti-mattering, can lead to sleep disturbances, reduced immune function, and a heightened risk for various ailments. Additionally, the stress with feeling perpetually undervalued, and manifest in somatic symptoms, such as headaches, gastrointestinal problems, as well as fatigue, or th, anti-mattering, and cause issues with self-perception and self-worth.

Starting point is 00:18:56 Repeated experiences of anti-mattering can influence how one perceives themselves, if consistently made to feel unimportant by peers, friends, or family, individuals might internalize these external cues, resulting in dwindling self-esteem and a compromised self-concept. This altered self-view can influence every decision that they make from career choices to personal relationships. Fifth, anti-mattering impacts, social interactions, and relationships. Given that anti-mattering originates from perceptions of social neglect. It's not surprising that it profoundly impacts one's social interactions. Individuals may

Starting point is 00:19:30 withdraw from social situations, fearing further instances of exclusion or marginalization. Relationships can become strained, especially if one party doesn't feel like they matter to the other. And then there's number six, anti-mattering, impacts, coping mechanisms, and resilience building. In the face of these challenges, many individuals develop coping mechanisms, both adaptive and maladaptive, while some might channel these feelings into productive avenues, like art or community service. Others might resort to substance abuse, or other self-destructive behaviors as an escape, recognizing the signs and seeking support early on

Starting point is 00:20:05 and make a world of difference. Further, societal structures and cultural pressures intensify the quest for significance, the drive to ascend societal ladders and sometimes induce depressive or aggressive tendencies. Marginalized communities that are seeking a renewed sense of significance might align with ideologies that promise validation, even if there

Starting point is 00:20:26 are xenophobic or nationalistic in nature, in essence, understanding and addressing the intricate web of anti-mattering is paramount in our journey towards a more empathetic, inclusive, and cohesive world. So now that I've gone through all the implications of anti-mattering, let's address the challenge of anti-mattering head-on. And before I dive into this topic, let me just tell you that last week, in episode 356, I did a deep dive into ways that you can foster the power of mattering in your life. A shift in mindset and proactive efforts are required to combat a negative impacts of anti-mattering. First, we need to value the individual. This starts with recognizing and affirming each

Starting point is 00:21:05 person's unique worth, simple acts of acknowledgement, such as active listening or expressing gratitude, and go a long way in making individuals feel valued. Second, create inclusive environments, in communities and workplaces, fostering an environment where everyone feels that they belong, and have a voice as paramount. This involves cultivating spaces where diverse opinions are encouraged and respected. Third, we need to be mindful about technological advancements. As in MSK's, technology should be a complement not to replace human interaction. Finding a balance between efficiency and maintaining the human touch is essential. Fourth, we need to empower voices. Encourage for individuals, and express their feelings,

Starting point is 00:21:45 concerns, and needs. When people feel that they have an avenue to be heard, it combats feelings of insignificance. And then lastly, fifth, champion mental health. Recognize the signs of mental distress, resulting from feelings of unimportant. Ensure that resources, such as counseling and support, are readily available for those who need it. I have given you a huge download today on anti-mattering, so let me summarize this and bring it home for you.

Starting point is 00:22:10 Anti-mattering, though, are relatively novel term encapsulates a feeling that's age as old. A society continues to evolve in an era of digital communications and viral interactions, understanding and addressing. Elings of insignificance becomes paramount. The way forward is to build digital and physical environments that foster inclusivity, recognition, and validation. For in the act of making someone feel like they matter, we strengthen the fabric of our collective humanity.

Starting point is 00:22:39 The ramifications of anti-mattering are multifaceted, affecting individual and collective well-being. It not only erodes social cohesion, but also undercuts the very foundations of equity and harmony, grading a breeding ground for division and polarization. When systemic inequalities persist, and certain demographics are continuously sidelined, it perpetuates the milieu that undermines equitable principles, making a harmonious society even more elusive. Acknowledging mattering is not only pivotal for individual well-being, but also essential for sculpting a harmonious balanced society.

Starting point is 00:23:14 In this digitally woven era, understanding and alleviating feelings of insignificance is not merely imperative, it is the very foundation to our collective advancement. I hope you all enjoyed today's show, and I wanted to thank everyone who wrote in this week, and especially those who listened to today's episode. Links to the transcript for today's episode will be in the show notes. Videos are on YouTube at both John Armiles and PassionStruck Clips. Advertiser deals and discount codes are in one convenient place, a PassionStruck.com slash deals. I have some exciting news that my brand new book, Passion Struck, well, powerful principles that will help you

Starting point is 00:23:49 unlock your purpose and create your most intentional life is now ready for pre-order. Links will be in the show notes or you can go to anywhere where you purchase books. I'm at John Armiles on all the social platforms and you can also sign up for my newsletter at either JohnArmiles.com or PassionStruct.com. You're about to hear a preview of the PassionStruct podcast interview that I did with Dr. Gabriela

Starting point is 00:24:09 Lyon, who is an acclaimed medical practitioner, author, and the founder of the Institute for Muscle-centric Medicine. We discuss her new book, Forever Strong, a new science-based strategy for aging well. Growth comes from cultivation, not comfort. And oftentimes when we hear stories like how you used to be, you were much more comfortable in the grind because everything else is foreign. The calmness, the steadiness, the capacity, each season has positives and negatives. At the end of the day, though, I truly believe that the actions and the person that we are today will show us the person we are going to be in the future, and that it's the actions and the discernment of thought on a daily basis that truly cultivates the individual's trajectory.

Starting point is 00:25:01 And you do have to become deeply intentional. Remember that we rise by lifting others, so share this show with those that you love. And if you found today's episode on Unmattering Useful, and please share it with those who could use our words of advice. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so that you can love what you listen. Now, go out there this week, and become Ash and Strut.

Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Fading into Insignificance: The Impact of Un-Mattering in Our Interconnected Era w/John R. Miles EP 359

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