Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Find Your Matter Meter: Create Belief in Why You Matter w/John R. Miles EP 396

Starting point is 00:00:00 Coming up next on PassionStrike. Are you struggling with self-doubt? Do you feel like you're a small fish in the vast ocean of life? Join me as we unravel the journey. Who embracing your true worth, nurturing self-compassion, and building a supportive tribe, get ready to transform your mindset and discover the incredible power of believing in yourself.

Starting point is 00:00:20 Welcome to PassionStrike. Hi, I'm your host, John Armiles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews,

Starting point is 00:00:48 the rest of the week with guest-ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hello friends, happy new year, and welcome back to Momentum Friday, an episode 396 of PassionStruck, consistently ranked by Apple, is the number one alternative health podcast.

Starting point is 00:01:13 And thank you to all of you who come back weekly to listen and learn, how to live better, be better, and impact the world. And PassionStruck Community, I have a special limitation for you. I am so excited to introduce our new Passion Struck Quiz. It's a unique opportunity for you to discover where you stand on the Passion Struck continuum. Are you an orchestrator who's masterfully balancing various aspects of life or are you a vanquisher?

Starting point is 00:01:35 Conquering challenges and turning obstacles into opportunities. Take the quiz on passionstruck.com and find out which one resonates more with your journey to live in a passion struck life. If you're new to the show, thank you so much for being here, or you simply want to introduce this, for a friend or a family member, and we so appreciate when you do that. We have episode starter packs with your collections and our fans, favorite episodes that we organize

Starting point is 00:01:57 into convenient playlists that give any new listener a great way to get acclimated to everything we do here on the show. Either good to spotify or passionstruck.com slash starter packs to get started. And in case you missed it, earlier in the week, we started off the year with two fantastic interviews. The first was with Dr. Anthony Yoon, a plastic surgeon, author, and social media influencer who has over 15 million followers. Dr. Yoon is the author of the brand new book, Younger for Life, Complete Guide, returning back the clock holistically, using a process that he calls Auto-Gevination. I also interview Dr. Amelia Elizabeth Lati, an extraordinary thinker and author of the book Gentle Power, a revolution in how we thank Leed and succeed using the finished art of Sisu. Please

Starting point is 00:02:39 check them all out and I wanted to say thank you so much for your ratings and reviews. We closed out 2023 with over 30,000 reviews globally and we so appreciate your support of the show. If you love either of those two episodes or my solo today, we would so appreciate you giving it a 5-star rating review because most importantly it brings more people into the passion start community where we can give them weekly doses, hope, meaning, and inspiration. And I know we and our guests love to hear from you and read your comments. Now let's talk about today's momentum Friday episode. Ever feel like you're just going through the motions? A tiny fish in an endless ocean

Starting point is 00:03:16 of routines and expectations. We've all been there, navigating this vastness of life, sometimes feeling lost and insignificant. But here's the transformative truth. You are more than just a small part in this vast cosmos. You have the potential to become passion struck, to ignite the spark of self-belief and purpose within you. This realization is your first step towards a life of purpose and intentionality. Your journey towards embracing your true self begins with you recognizing your inherent worthiness. Despite the world's noise and naysayers, it's crucial for you to remember. Your value is not diminished by others' failure to recognize your brilliance. This path is not about ego or arrogance.

Starting point is 00:03:58 It's about discovering and living in harmony with your authentic self, the very essence of becoming Hashan passion struck. Stay tuned as I explore why feeling valued who's self-confidence, how to cultivate self-compassion, understand internal versus external validation, and create supportive networks for success, essentially mastering the art of mattering. Welcome to the path of becoming passion struck, where every individual's unique spark matters profoundly. Thank you for choosing passion struct and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life now. Let that journey begin. Believing that you matter is like having a secret weapon. It's this inner conviction,

Starting point is 00:04:42 an unshakable faith that tells you, hey, I count this belief shapes yourself confidence and molds how you see yourself, but let's delve deeper. What does mattering truly mean? At its core, it's the sense that we're valued by others, that our presence has weight and significance. When we feel like we matter to someone, it nurtures our self-esteem and fortifies our self-assurance. You might wonder how can believe in my own significance, enhance my confidence. Imagine for a moment your life as a ship, navigating the expansive ocean of experiences. Each wave represents the challenges and opportunities that life presents. In this journey, your sense of mattering is like a compass, guiding you through

Starting point is 00:05:23 rough seas while also letting you enjoy smooth sailing. If you ever thought, do I even make a difference? Welcome aboard. We've all been there at some point. Questioning are worthiness amidst societal expectations and pressures. But let me tell you something surprising. This questioning isn't necessarily bad.

Starting point is 00:05:40 In fact, such questions can serve as wake up calls, pushing us towards realizing our true value, an essential step for nurturing self-confidence. So, rather than shying away from these unsettling thoughts, why not use them as stepping stones towards recognizing your significance? But how do you find your matter-meter, that level at which you feel significant? This matter-meter plays such a pivotal role in shaping your self-confidence. But it's not something that you can just get off the shelf of target or order on Amazon Prime. You've got to dig deep within yourself to find it. The perception of mattering is deeply personal, and it varies from person to person. What instills a sense of importance in one individual may differ from another. The key is to discover what resonates with you, whether it's recognizing the

Starting point is 00:06:25 joy that you bring to others' lives, or acknowledging the impact of your contributions. This journey aligns with the essence of becoming passion-structs, about uncovering your unique value, harnessing it, and steering your life's ship with the compass of self-belief and purpose. As we embrace this journey, we not only affirm our own significance, but also inspire others to celebrate and recognize their own. So one of the best ways for you to understand what matters most in your life is through self-reflection. You might be wondering what's so special about self-reflection. Well, let me tell you a little secret. Self-reflection is like holding up a mirror to your soul. It lets you see what others can't. You're a true value. We often overlook our worth

Starting point is 00:07:06 because we're too busy comparing ourselves to others. We often live in what I call the gap because we're constantly looking at ourselves and trying to emulate someone we see instead of living in the game where we're comparing ourselves or our past self and truly recognizing the gains that we've made in our life. Nobody else in existence is like you and that is so vital for you to understand.

Starting point is 00:07:29 As I discuss in my upcoming book, Passion Struck, Self Reflection is a kin, a shining light on your inner world, illuminating your strengths, passions, and values that define who you are. It's about peering beyond the surface, who recognize your intrinsic worth, which often remains unseen, in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Through this process, you gain clarity about your thoughts and feelings, fostering a deeper sense of self-assurance. This newfound confidence becomes your inner compass, steering your decisions and actions towards authenticity, in line with your true self, rather than societal expectations. Discovering your true wealth transcends materialistic measures like wealth or social media popularity.

Starting point is 00:08:10 Instead, it involves understanding the unique blend of skills, talents, and experiences that only you bring to the table. Your kindness could help someone through their darkest days. Your creativity could inspire millions. Your resilience can motivate others to never give up even one time's get tough. If I've peaked your interest now, their darkest days. Your creativity could inspire millions. Your resilience can motivate others to never give up even one time's get tough. If I've peaked your interest now, and I hope I have, here's an easy exercise for discovering your value. First, reflect on three actions, where you have positively impacted someone's life. It could range from offering a listening ear to a friend to preparing a meal for your family. Second, contemplate the qualities that these actions reveal about you. Are they indicative of your empathy, generosity, or compassion?

Starting point is 00:08:50 As you uncover these attributes, you're not just acknowledging your actions. You're embracing the core of who you are. In doing so, you're taking a significant step towards living a passion stark life. One, where every choice and every action resonates with your true self, fueling a life, purpose, and fulfillment. So let's now go through some of the benefits of embrace and your worth. Understanding and acknowledging your worth is not just a feel-good exercise. It's a transformative process with profound impacts across various facets of your life. This self recognition brings about a cascade, positive changes. It leads to enhanced self-esteem. When you recognize and embrace your unique value, hit naturally bolsters your self-esteem. You begin to see yourself in a more positive light appreciating your abilities and contributions.

Starting point is 00:09:35 It leads to enhanced mental well-being. This recognition plays a pivotal role in improving your overall mental health. By understanding your worth, you reduce feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, paving the way for a healthier mindset. It also foster stronger relationships. Acknowledging your value sets a benchmark for how you expect to be treated by others. It encourages you to cultivate relationships

Starting point is 00:09:56 that are respectful, supportive, and aligned with your sense of self-worth. It boosts resilience. Knowing your worth equips you to rebound from challenges more effectively. You become more resilient. Viewing setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. It informs decision-making with a firm grasp of your intrinsic value. Your decisions become more lined with your beliefs and aspirations.

Starting point is 00:10:19 You're more likely to make choices that reflect your true self in advance your goals. And lastly, it leads to heightened life satisfaction, recognizing and embracing your value. Often leads to a more profound sense of fulfillment, as well as contentment in life. It allows you to live more authentically, pursuing past that resonate with your inner values and aspirations. In essence, realizing your worth is a critical step towards living a passion-stark life, a life characterized by intentionality, purpose, and a deep sense of fulfillment. It's about honoring your true self

Starting point is 00:10:50 and allowing that recognition to guide you towards a richer, more meaningful existence. And the journey of living a passion-struck life, learning to cultivate self-compassion, is akin to nurturing a vital part of your inner garden. It involves giving yourself the grace to be imperfect, embracing humanity with all its flaws and understanding that mistakes are universal experiences. Just as a compassionate friend may offer solace, you need to extend the same understanding and self-kindness to yourself. Self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness are the pillars of self-compassion, according to Dr. Christine Neff, associate professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas at Austin,

Starting point is 00:11:31 and a pioneer in the field of self-compassion. These three components can help counteract negative self-talk or feelings of isolation. Practicing self-kindness means treating yourself with the same care and understanding that you would offer a loved one, recognizing our common humanity allows us to see that we are not alone in our imperfection and struggles. Mindfulness encourages us to accept our present state without harsh judgment, facing our experiences with grace and openness. Silence in your inner critic. This internal voice, often critical and undermining can be likened to an unwelcome guest in the party of your mind. It is so important for you to acknowledge this inner critic. Understanding its intent to protect, but then to assertively guide it towards more constructive

Starting point is 00:12:16 and supportive commentary. Replace the harsh self-critical thoughts with words of encouragement and affirmation, treating yourself with the kindness and respect that you deserve by integrating the principles of self-compassion into your life. You not only enhance your self-worth, but also align with the core values of living a passion-struck life. It's about honoring your true self, nurturing your inner-garden with kindness, and acknowledging your worth as you journey towards a life of passion and purpose. Let self-compassion be your guiding light, leading you to a state of fulfillment and self-acceptance. So now let's go into external validation versus internal validation. We often find ourselves

Starting point is 00:12:53 caught in the whirlwind of social acceptance, yearning for the nod of approval from others. This craving is what we call external validation, and assurance coming from outside ourselves to confirm our worthiness. But there's another type of validation too, intrinsic or internal validation. Internal validation, unlike its counterpart, isn't about the nods or applause that you get from your inner circle. It's more personal and profound than that. It's a sense of satisfaction and self-approval, stemming purely out of accomplishing something that you're passionate about. You may be wondering why the alert of external validation can be so captivating. That's because it's tangible in our journey to living passion struck.

Starting point is 00:13:31 We often find ourselves seeking external validation. The applause, the likes, the nods of approval from others. This form of validation is immediate, offering a quick fix of confidence and a sense of belonging. However, this reliance on external validation can be a trap. It leads to a dependency where your self-worth is tethered to the opinions of others, making your confidence and happiness vulnerable to external fluctuations. Contrastingly, internal validation is the cornerstone

Starting point is 00:14:00 of living a passion-struck life. It's not about external rewards or recognition about finding fulfillment and pursuit of your passions and living true to your values. This internal form of validation is deeply personal and enduring. It comes from the satisfaction of doing something meaningful, regardless of external acknowledgement. When you paint for the sheer joy of painting, run a marathon for the personal challenge or embark on any endeavor driven by your

Starting point is 00:14:25 inner passion. That's intrinsic validation. Embracing intrinsic validation enables you to become more resilient against rejection, as well as external judgments. It fosters a robust foundation of self-belief, allowing you to be the author of your own story, in a world that often measures success through external benchmarks. I advocate for shift in perspective. recognize and celebrate your efforts, your journey, and your personal growth, your respective of external validation.

Starting point is 00:14:52 And then let's also talk about the importance of building a supportive network. Your journey into believing in yourself is not meant to be walked alone. Building your tribe or supportive network can help you grow and to stay on track. This team isn't just there for high fives and hats on the back, but also provides a push and things get tough. The strength of your support system can make all the difference between achieving your dreams or letting them slip away. It's like being part of a relay race. Each person plays their part, helping to propel you towards the finish line.

Starting point is 00:15:21 They are the allies who understand and share your vision, who stand by you as you pursue your passions and live out your purpose. And this concept is backed by compelling research. A meta study involving over 300,000 individuals demonstrates that a robust social network doesn't just elevate mood, it significantly enhances longevity.

Starting point is 00:15:40 This finding underscores the passion-struck belief that our connections don't merely enrich our lives emotionally. They are vital components to our overall well-being, so identifying people who genuinely care about you and share your value should be at the top of your list when you go about building a supportive network. You want folks who believe in you, even when self-doubt creeps in. A personal cheer squad ready to rally behind every leap forward. You may already know these people. They could be family members. close friends, mentors from work or school, or they might still be out there waiting for you to discover them. Be open-minded during this process. Sometimes support comes from

Starting point is 00:16:14 unexpected places. And then just as critical, sustaining these relationships requires effort. You've got to give as much or more than what you receive, but believe me, it is worth it. Just remember that everyone needs encouragement now and then. So don't forget to cheer on your supporters as well. Try hosting regular meetup, whether virtual or in person. This will allow everyone to share their progress and to provide advice where needed. As Harvard Business Review puts it, we all need people who will give us feedback. That's how we improve. The presence of a supportive network plays a transformative role in bolstering self-belief. The presence of a supportive network plays a transformative role

Starting point is 00:16:45 in bolstering self-belief. It acts as a mirror reflecting your potential in self-work, especially when self-doubt clouds your judgment. These relationships provide not only emotional support, but also practical insights and perspectives that can challenge and stretch your thinking. Your tribe's belief in you can act as a catalyst, inspire, encourage, and confidence. To take risks and step out of your comfort zone. Their faith in your abilities can help you see your own strengths and capabilities more clearly, driving you to pursue your goals with more convection as you

Starting point is 00:17:14 embark on your passion structuring. Remember that the strength of your tribe is instrumental. They're not just there for the moments of victory. They're also there for the moments of trial. Like runners in a relay race, your tribe members passed the baton of motivation, wisdom, as well as resilience, each playing pivotal role in helping you cross the finish line of your goals. And if you're struggling to find this tribe, another concept that I often talk about is the mosquito principle. And you can go back to a previous episode to find out more about this important element or purchase the book where I have a whole chapter on it. So therefore, is you forge your path towards a life of passion and purpose, cherish and nurture your connections. They are not just a luxury,

Starting point is 00:17:54 but a necessity, foundational pillar, truly living, passion struck life. So I have covered a lot today and I want to sum this up for you so you can understand how to embrace your worth and achieve your goals. Leaving in yourself starts with acknowledging your worthiness. Remember that you are more than a speck in the cosmos. Are more than just a fleeting moment in time. Your self-confidence grows when you embrace this fact and live authentically from that place of belief. It's about aligning your choices and actions with the authentic essence of who you are.

Starting point is 00:18:23 Embrace the truth of your worth, and let it be the foundation upon which your self-assurance is built, reflecting on your core essence is not just an act of introspection. It's a powerful process of self-affirmation, recognize and value, your innate qualities and contributions. However big or small they may seem, your journey to believing in yourself is bolstered by nurturing self-compassion. This practice is not just a remedy for challenging times, it's a crucial element for creating

Starting point is 00:18:52 a passion-struck life in a world that often emphasizes external validation. Remember that true confidence emanates from within. It's an enduring form of validation that persists even when external circumstances are challenging. This internal validation is your compass in the storm guiding you to stay true to yourself and your path. And remember the journey is not meant to be traveled alone. The supportive network plays a pivotal role in this path to self-realization. Surround yourself with people who recognize your worth and who encourage your growth.

Starting point is 00:19:20 This support will illuminate your journey, making it a path not only to personal achievement, but an enlightening expedition towards a deeper, more meaningful existence. As you move forward, embrace your worth, cultivate your self-belief, and build a network of support. These elements combined will propel you towards your goals, enabling you to live a life that's not just successful, but passion-struct, where every step is a testament to your unyielding spirit and enduring potential. I hope you all enjoyed the show and I wanted to thank everyone who wrote in this week, and especially everyone who tuned into this episode. Links to the transcript will be in the show notes. Videos you can find on both our main channel and John Armiles, as well as our clips channel at PassionStruckClips. Please go check them out and subscribe to both. Advertiser deals and discount codes

Starting point is 00:20:06 are in one convenient place at passionstruck.com slash deals. Please consider supporting those who support the show. And if you found this episode impactful, I've actually created a unique ebook around it. It's about 30 pages long, and you can set stuff both exercises, as well as summaries of everything that I covered today. You can get this by going to passionstruck.com forward slash passion

Starting point is 00:20:26 struck book and it's one of the many giveaways that you will get by pre ordering the book. And we've also created a 50 week challenge for the remainder of 2024. And if you want to sign up for that, go join our newsletter at passionstruck.com. If you want to follow me on social media, you can do so on all the channels at John Irmiles. And if you want to sign up for our work relatedrelated newsletter work intentionally, you can do so on LinkedIn. You're about to hear a preview of the PassionStrike podcast interview that I did with Jen Drummond, author of the new book Break Proof, seven strategies to build resilience and achieve your goals. For our discussion, I will guide you on Jen Drummond's audacious goal to conquer the seven second summits.

Starting point is 00:21:03 With no prior experience in mountain climbing, Jen set out to complete a feat that many thought was insurmountable. This isn't just an interview. It's a vivid testament to the unyielding human spirit and underscores the importance of maintaining life balance, setting ambitious goals and embracing the fullness of life. My coach kind of laughed, he's like, hey Jen, I've got the perfect world record for you.

Starting point is 00:21:23 I think you should be the first female to climb the seven second summits. At that point in my life, it sounded like a tongue twister and even nobody was saying. I'm like, the seven what? It was the seven second summits. It's the second highest point on each of the seven continents. It has only been done by one male. It's harder than the first seven. You would be the first woman. And he goes, think about it. Seven continents, seven mountains, seven children. It's a jackpot. I'm like, it does sound like a jackpot. I've never slept in a tent though before. Like, we've got things we got to figure out. And he said, you'll do it. I'm like, okay, let's say yes. To me,

Starting point is 00:22:00 it checked the boxes of traveling and experiencing the world, doing hard things, and I felt it would be an inspirational pursuit for others to step into theirs. Remember that we rise by others, so share the show with those that you love and care about. If you found today's episode useful, then definitely share it with somebody you could use the words of wisdom that I gave today. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show, so that you can live what you listen. And until next week, go out there and become Ash and Struggle. you

Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Find Your Matter Meter: Create Belief in Why You Matter w/John R. Miles EP 396

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