Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Flory Seidel On: How to Create a Happy Life EP 81

Episode Date: November 16, 2021

In 2013, Flory Seidel’s life and career changed in an instant when he was hit on the left side of his body by a large truck and suffered damages to almost every portion of his entire body. He shares with John R. Miles his incredible story of recovery. Subscribe to the Passion Struck podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-passion-struck-podcast/id1553279283. Like this? Please join me on my new platform for peak performance, life coaching, self-improvement, and personal growth: https://passionstruck.com/ and sign up for our email list. Thank you for listening to the Passion Struck podcast. In this powerful Episode, John R. Miles and Flory Seidel discuss how to create a happy life following a tragedy. Issuu is the all-in-one platform to create and distribute beautiful digital content, from marketing materials to magazines, to flipbooks and brochures and more. Get started with Issuu today for FREE, or if you sign up for a premium account, you will get 50% off when you go to ISSUU.com/podcast and use promo code PASSIONSTRUCK. ShipStation makes shipping the easy part of running your online store. So you can get back to doing what you’re passionate about—growing your business. Just go to ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top, and enter code PASSIONSTRUCK. New Interviews with the World’s GREATEST high achievers will be posted every Tuesday with a Momentum Friday inspirational message! SHOW NOTES 0:00 Introduction 2:46 What made his childhood unique 6:17 His personal sacrifice to care for his sick father 10:45 How his life abruptly changed in an instant 18:46 The worse car ride home of his life 21:40 Florey's road to recovery 24:08 The small wins and devastating losses 28:08 The path to self-fulfillment and a happy life 30:48 Discussing his doctoral research 35:00 Answering the quintessential question 36:41 Focusing on life's intangibles 40:16 Discusses duality of single parenting 46:46 His advice on paying it forward FOLLOW FLORY SEIDEL *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/floryseidel/ *https://www.uagc.edu/blog/flory-l-seidel-success-story   ENGAGE WITH JOHN R. MILES * Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles * Leave a comment, 5-star rating (please!) * Support me: https://johnrmiles.com * About: https://johnrmiles.com/my-story/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/John_RMiles * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Johnrmiles.c0m. * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles PASSION STRUCK *Subscribe to Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-passion-struck-podcast/id1553279283 *Website: https://passionstruck.com/ * Gear: https://www.zazzle.com/store/passion_struck *About: https://passionstruck.com/about-passionstruck-johnrmiles/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/passionstruck *Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/  

Coming up next on the Passion Struck Podcast. The way I see it is you follow what makes you successful in that money isn't everything. Follow yourself in that what can make you happy. So right now I'm doing my doctorate, I'm just about finished with it. And that is a way for me to possibly be able to give back to others. I have other different avenues where I could be helping children scholastically, helping children through government programs, stuff like that. So my advice would be to align yourself in a way that if you can't make your dreams happen now,

put yourself in a position where you potentially have the ability to later on in life. Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders, and growth seekers of all types, to the Passion Struck podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach, Maltkei Industries CEO, maybe veteran and entrepreneur on a mission to make Passion co-viral for millions worldwide. And each week I do so by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing eye achievers from all walks of life who unlock their secrets and lessons to become an passion struck. The purpose of our show is to serve you, the listener,

by giving you tips, tasks, and activities, you can use to achieve peak performance and for too much passion-driven life, you have always wanted to have. Now, let's become passion struck. Hello everyone and welcome back to the Passion Struck podcast and thank you each and every one of you Let's become PassionStrike. Hello everyone and welcome back to the PassionStrike podcast. And thank you each and every one of you for coming back every single week to listen,

learn, and grow. If you're new to the show or you want to introduce it to someone you know, we now have episode starter packs. These are collections of our favorite episodes grouped by topic so that you can introduce someone to the show and they can quickly get a grasp of everything that the show has to offer. Just go to passionstruck.com slash starter packs to start your journey today. We have a truly amazing show today

that was requested by a friend of mine, Ted Smith, upon learning about our guest, Lori Sidell's story. In 2013, Lori Sidell's life and career changed in an instant. When he was hit on the left side of his body by a large truck and suffered damages to almost every portion of his entire body, but that didn't stop Flory. From that point, he went on to complete two undergraduate degrees,

an MBA, and is now in the final steps of completing his doctorate. Such an inspirational story for you today. Now let the journey began. I am so excited today to have Florie, Cidell, on the Passion Strike podcast. Welcome, Florie. Thank you, sir. How are you? I am doing great. And you are here because one of our listeners, Ted Smith, reached out to me on Instagram and had met you, heard about your story and said,

you would be an amazing guest for the podcast. So I'm so excited for you to be able to share your story with the listeners. Well, it's a pleasure to meet you and I look forward to having everyone get to know me. So. Okay, well great. Well, I always like to get a starting point

on any guest on the podcast so that the listeners can kind of get a sense of your DNA where you came from, etc. So I thought a great starting point would be, Lori, what was so different about your childhood from the one most of us have? Absolutely. Well, for starters, I grew up in a, you know, in very humble means. So we didn't have it easy. We struggled a little bit, although when I was growing up, I didn't understand what that struggle looked like

compared to where I was raised. So my family moved us to a rather affluent area, which was great because of the school system and just the community and the culture versus where I was originally born and where I was originally raised. So what made that different was, I guess trying to connect and trying to understand what made us different from my siblings and not my siblings, but my peers from school and from people used to work with growing up.

So what was different was the fact that we were living I guess, peer students, even within the school. So I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to be part of the school system most from, but there certainly was a disconnect with both, I guess, you know, monetary disconnect culture. It was just, it was very different than what, I guess, most people that growing up in my situation would have dealt with being where I went to school. And where did you grow up that? Originally I was born in Patterson, so we bounced around a lot.

We moved around a lot as children, unfortunately. But ultimately, we managed to migrate to Oakland, New Jersey, which is in Bergen County. It's a rather affluent area. OK, and why did you feel like looking back that you were less fortunate than others or you know what was so different about that experience for you than you know when you think of the the peers you had at the time in classmates. Well you know classmates that I went to school with

they didn't have to build their first car. I had to build my first car. You know they didn't have to wear hand-me-downs. I had to wear hand-me hand me downs. They had all the highest fashionable clothes. I didn't, even though I didn't really understand it until now. I didn't really, wasn't really into the whole niche clothes and, you know, the fancy everything. But, you know, that was definitely a disconnect that I had with a lot of those peers. Okay. And how old were you when you started to work? I was probably around 12 or 13. I faked it a little bit just to start work a little earlier

with my father in the school. Okay, and what kind of jobs did you do? I did, I was pretty much a part-time summer custodian in slash maintenance. So I would clean classrooms, I would do summer preparation. During the year, actual school year, I would actually do, you know, custodial work, cleaning up schools, bathrooms, you know, it was pretty good. I learned the experience I had to be honest with you.

Okay, and then you left high school and then what happened then? All right, well, I mean, I can delve back just as I was leaving high school. I started, you know, my first semester in Bergen Community College, which was pretty much the starting point for everybody who wasn't sure what they wanted to do, or if they weren't accepted into a very prestigious school, or even if their families couldn't afford to put them in somewhere affluent. So right after I left high school, I started, you know, Bergen Community. And at this point, my father had just started to get really sick. So he had a suffigial cancer, and it took a toll on our whole family.

So I ultimately had to get, I had dropped out of college and I worked full time to take care of my family, to take care of my father, all of us did the same. So it was a tough time in my life. Well, your story in some ways is very similar to my dad's story growing up.

His first car, he had to buy and he tells me the story that when he originally bought it, it didn't have any floor to it. So, he had to buy plywood and made a makeshift bottom for the car, so that he wasn't doing the Fred Flintstone when he was driving it. I make the same joke. I did the same thing. Yeah, and he, it's funny. You know, he started working in an early age as well. As did I. I got a paper route around the time that I was 12. So, so your father's health now starts deteriorating and you're trying to take care of him.

Yeah. And is this when you start having to do jobs that he was once doing to support the family? Exactly. So it was a very tumultuous time. So I was a custodian at the time, but I also transitioned to working at Toys Rose Corporate in their security

division. So, my brother was in, he went to the Marine Corps, so he went away. I was working more than full-time. My other siblings didn't really understand what was going on because they were young and that's kind of how, you know, my mom wanted it to be. We didn't really let on what was going on. I didn't talk about what was going on to family or anything. I mean, not family, but peers or colleagues. No one really understood the severity of what my situation was. But I started working at Toys Russ. And it was tough working there as well, because it was a fast paced corporate world,

but also dealing with my own family issues. So like I said, I kept it to myself. You never really knew I had a problem. I didn't bring it to work. You know, I was working there for a long time. But my father right before he passed away, literally right before he passed away. Two things happened, which is interesting for your viewers. I think this is a cool story. Maybe I should make a book.

But Adam came back. Which you can relate to during the military service as well. He came back from his, you know, initial, I guess it was was bootcamp and he was going to go on his deployment to go for, I guess, the off, there's a school right after it's a 10 after 10 day leave, you get you to go to your actual MOS school. I don't know the name of it. So he got back and a couple days later, my dad passed away. So we all say that he waited for my brother to come back, just so my father could see him one more time.

Interesting caveat to the story, but to delve back a little bit before that, my dad convinced me while I would come home from, I would spoon feed him like a baby while working full time. It was tough. He eventually convinced me to go back to school. So at this time, I went back to Berkeley College. They accepted me, which was awesome. I paid for myself. So I went back to Berkeley College and right before I grabbed, like right before I graduated, passed away. But I was also still working more than full time, taking care of him, doing everything with the family that we could to get by, and then, unfortunately,

he passed away right before I graduated. A couple months, I would say. passed away right before I graduated. A couple months I would say. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Yes. And then once he passed away, did you at that point go right into finishing your bachelor's degree or did you take a pause? Truthfully, I went right back. I didn't take any breaks from college. So at that point, when he passed away, I jumped from my associates to my bachelors. And that's when everything went awry from my bachelor.

He passed away right before I got my associates, and then I jumped right into my bachelors. So at this point, when I jumped into my bachelors, I was trying to find my niche. So I took the Port Authority Police Test in 2007. This was long before that time and I forgot all about it. They accepted me to go through all the processes. With that test, it was like 51%.

I believe it's what they said, fill rate. I'm not exactly sure how much the fill rate was, so I passed. And then they drag you on for years, going through different phases. And then right as I got my letter I was going through the process I got in that accident in 2013 that you were there you spoke of before in which I was walking across the street and I was hit by a vehicle. So that changed. Yes, yes, okay so you know we're kind of jumping right into that. Yeah, just you're right but you're you're right at this point where you, you know, you decided you wanted to go

into criminal justice. That's the degree you were pursuing. Exactly. You've been on this six year journey of trying to get into the court authority. You finally get the letter that your dream's gonna come true. And then you find yourself just routinely walking across the street.

Now, what time of the day was this? I was actually, I'm, I'm, the police report actually says it, but I remember like it's vividly 5.30, 5.30 at night. So it was still light out, but it wasn't, you know, super bright out. So I'd say bright dusk if that helps paint the picture. Okay, and what ends up happening at that point?

So you were hit by this car and what happened? All right, so you ever see those Ford Econoline fans, the gigantic ones that are retrofitted for like taxi service or transporting large amounts of people? Of course, yes. That's the vehicle. So he was pulling out and I was in the crosswalk. I had the light and the next thing I remember is stepping off the street and I remember hearing a bang. I didn't know that I was the bang at the point. So what had happened from witness testimony because I was completely knocked out, he struck me twice. So he hit me once. I went flying across the street and then he drove over me. And I know this because I had the tire marks

over my leg and my pants. So I tried to figure out what was going on. I had no idea what had happened. I had no air in my lungs. So I abruptly stand up. I look over and I see the guy who had hit me and all he did was have his hands like this like, and he didn't come over to me,

didn't check if I was okay, nothing. He just, and then then I collapsed and then it was in an out of consciousness at this point. So but no one came to help me. The only people that helped me were the ambulance. That was right next to the hospital that saw me. No one came to help me. So you're laying on the ground. They're they're actually witnesses who see this. The driver of the van does a hint run. And no one stopped, but he didn't help me. Okay, but he didn't stay there either until police or paramedic showed up. He was in a distance off the side,

but he didn't come to my area. So he was significantly further than me, but he did stop. Okay. Last time you wanted to. Was he the person who called the paramedics or. I. Truthfully, I think that they were there because it was at the hospital where I was working and right around the corner was the was the ER. So I happened.

I think that they were just driving by and sold me on the ground. To be honest with you. Okay. And then can you tell the audience What were the injuries that you suffered? All right, so initially My back teeth my jaw was just completely I couldn't talk much. I couldn't everything was just mangled My ribs from what the ER told me that three of my ribs were broken My knee. I needed surgery on I wrist, into my arm, trying to think what else.

There was just a lot of stuff. Head was completely swollen. Inside all my organs were, a lot of them were swollen from what the ER doctor told me. They were fantastic over there. We will be right back to the Passion Struck Podcast. This episode is sponsored by ShipStation. The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year. But if you're running an online store,

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Now, let's get back to the Passion Struck podcast. And how long did you have to remain in the hospital for? This is the interesting part of the story that I don't like to admit to anybody, but I guess your audience is gonna enjoy this. Being that I was in the Bronx, I was brand new to the Bronx, I was afraid to be honest with you.

I ended up checking myself out that night, and it took me an hour to get to my car. So I was walking to my car, crawling on the side of the walls trying to get to my car. I should have stayed. They wanted me to stay over. They wanted to check me in, you know, overnight or for a couple days with morphine drip, but I didn't want to do that because I was afraid. So I ended up leaving. And it was a terrible car ride home. And then how long did it take you to heal from from this accident?

how long did it take you to heal from this accident? I mean, it was on and off. There was no set time. So initial surgeries, I had a couple of different surgeries, the recover time on those wasn't too long, although I did make one mistake. I was trying to take care of my family, which I told you in the audience a while ago and through this conversation,

but after my initial surgery on my wrist, I went back to work the next day. And I went to pick up something and I ripped all the stitches out of my hand. Because we had to eat, I had to take care of my family. I didn't, I wish I had another way different way, but I didn't have medical insurance at the time. I was struggling to get by. So what were my choices?

Pretty much was my cause. Yeah, as well. I guess you probably never went after the driver because possibly they would have had insurance that would help with your medical bills and whatnot. Well, the thing was I didn't want to do anything initially with them, so I'm not like that. I just wanted to honest days work, honest days pay, let me go home. So initially, like I got sued from the city of New York Fire Department.

They wanted they were coming after me for collections for the ambulance ride, which was literally 13 feet from where I was to the front door. The initial ER visit they were coming after me for and those, they're significantly expensive. So eventually I was, I had to go do those things to recover that for them, but I didn't do anything to make money for myself or that's not who I am as a person. Okay, so I think you're, you're kind of low playing the extent of the injuries because as I understand it,

you had hand surgery, then you had to go get knee surgery, then you had to get arm surgery, and then you had to also go through eight hours of surgery on your mouth where you had to get graphs in all quadrants of your mouth. And having watched someone close to me get the graphs for their mouth, I'm not sure if you had to do it out of the palette out of the top of your mouth or not, but she said it's probably the most painful thing that she's ever been through.

Well, it's actually a little more complex than what you're saying. The surgical team that took care of my face and my mouth and my teeth were the best ever. They actually am really guy that I know that likes to go to the dentist now because they're that good. They're amazing at what they do. So pretty much what they did was they did several different things. Bone grafting consists of taking material, whether it be your own or cadaver or otherwise, to implement into your face so your face can heal and you can grow bone material and thus growing graph for your gums and stuff. So I had a series of bovine

pig and my own material being used for both my gums and my jaw. So it was way more extensive than what I was saying and you are right. It was a long, long period of time for different surgeries and different abilities like these teeth were crushed, but now with their their help and just going through it, I feel like a whole new person. I still can't talk 100% as you can probably notice from me talking, but I feel like so much better with their help. So yeah, it was extensive and it was very painful. Yes, and in addition to having that risk surgery where you went back to work, I I think you went right back to work also after the knee and arm surgery. Is that correct? Yes, I did. Day later, even this, I went back to work the same day, but I ended up going home because it was just too much. I know I'm crazy. People will be say that that was crazy, but you have to do what you have to do.

So. Well, you were crazy because when she had her, she was out for an entire week or more. It was tough. I did all four at the same time. So by time they got, they started this side and worked the way across and then went down. So when they got to this point,

this was starting to wake up. And by time they got to this section, this was on fire. So as you can imagine, they were chasing with, it was, it was awful. To be truthful. Wow. So. So you go through all of this and coming out of it now. You find out that you can no longer go to the port authority. So you know how are you feeling at this point? You know here you have this this dream that you're on the verge of

doing all this work, your father dies, you're about ready to get what you always wanted, you get hit by a car, now you have to go through all these surgeries. I mean, you must have at that point felt so dejected. I was just going to use the same word. I was so dejected. It was a very low point, but in retrospect, it wasn't the lowest point. So if you to look at it that way, like I was, I felt as if what was the point to keep going. So you figure, I have one, one small win, it gets taken from me. I have another win, it gets taken from me. So at this point, what's the point of going for any wins?

So that's kind of where my head was at. And thank God, so the support structure that I have and some friends, family, a very good friend of mine, his name is Frank, and he wouldn't mind if I bring him up. He was a very devout Christian. So I was raised Catholic, when I was big, I was a big time Christian. I was big into religion. I have a Bible, and I thought I was doing everything right.

But then all these things happen, so it's like, okay, where was God? And that was one of my big pivot points. Where was God? Because you figure a guy who conceivably is doing all of the right things just keeps getting bullied and picked on by whatever whatever power you believe in. And that's where my head was at unfortunately. And I hate to admit that, but it's true. And how long did this period of time last for you? Truthfully, my whole life growing up till now, because I would always have small wins and then devastating losses. Small wins, devastating losses. So at this point, it was every win was met with some kind of adversity.

So let's say I would have a win, it would develop into, okay, when is the shoots and ladder effect going to happen? When am I going to get knocked off of my little pedestals? Yeah, and I'm sure many people in the audience can relate to how you're feeling, whether they've had this accident or not. They feel like they're trying to make progress in their life. And yet, it feels like the universe doesn't open up that opportunity that would allow them to break through. I'm sure many people have that feeling.

It's you were probably feeling stuck with where you were in your circumstances. Absolutely. And it was sad, but I mean, another thing is like you said, other people do feel the same way. And it's hard for a person that's going through. It's understand that. So I understand it now, but you are 100% right. So you end up finishing your degree in criminology. Yes, sir. And, and then, what made, what possessed you to then go after getting an MBA? All right, so this is a cool part of the story. I was working at the hospital and I was talking to somebody in management and I remember exactly what it was, but they had an MBA and they were doing very well for themselves. So with the hospital, it's more public policy, you know, initiated. So I was thinking about

either doing an MPA or an MBA. So this person in particular has an MBA and I wanted to follow their footsteps, being that it's a very marketable degree and, you know, with certain issues I can make it happen financially. After doing a little bit of research I jumped right into an MBA program and that's pretty much how it started and that's how it you know it didn't finish obviously I'm still going but that's how I got into my MBA. Okay and so you were you were doing the MBA while you were still going through treatment for these injuries or had that all been in the past at this point. For the MBA, I was still, I was getting treated for my injuries,

but I was also still working full time. So I would still be working while doing other parts of my life. Nothing I never ever stopped, none of it ever stopped. Whether it was school treatment for my injuries or everything else in between. So I kept going all of it at the same time. So if you had a listener out there and they're you know saying to themselves you know I'm down on my luck you know how does this guy

with everything that's transpired keep trying to move ahead you know what would your advice to them be you know how do you muster the courage to keep moving forward? That is a great answer. I guess a lot of it might be just, in a way, it's not courage. I would say it's a lot of itself fulfillment to be honest with you. I did these things as a way to, it's a self-medicating process as it were.

A lot of it I did just to put myself somewhere else. I mean, there is a courage element I suppose, but I did it in try to get the the right way. And I was just really trying to get the right way. And I was just really trying to get the right way. And I was just really trying to get the right way. And I was just really trying to get the right way.

And I was just really trying to get the right way. And I was just really trying to get the right way. And I was just really trying to get the right way. And I was just really trying to get the right way. And I was just really trying to

get the right way. And I was just really trying to get the right way. And I was just really trying to get the right way. And I was just really trying to get the right way. And I was just really trying to get the right way. And I was just really trying to get the right way. If I kept myself so inundated with everything, then the reality of other things would just be too busy to be dealt with, to be honest with you. Okay, and so what would in addition to that be some of the advice you would give someone on why it's so important that you pursue your dreams no matter, you know, what the

circumstances. Well, I love that question, and a lot of people will give you the cliche answer. You know, follow your passion, follow your dreams. The way I see it is you follow what makes you, makes you successful in that money isn't everything. Follow yourself in that what can make you happy. So, right now I'm doing my doctorate. I'm just about finished with it. And that is a way for me to possibly be able to give back to others. I have other different avenues where I could be, you know, helping children scholastically, helping children through, you know, government programs, stuff like that. So my advice

would be to align yourself in a way that if you can't make your dreams happen now, put yourself in a position where you potentially have the ability to later on in life, which was my goal because of all of these terrible things. I was able to move the chest pieces on the board that eventually I knew I knew that they would line up. Okay, and what is the doctorate program in? Well, right now I'm doing a doctorate in the PSYD which is clinically focused. It's criminal psychology. Okay, and can you tell us more about the topic? Absolutely. So now my doctoral research, which I actually last night, that's knock on wood, I just submitted it for hopeful getting my methodologist

to approve it for me to give my final oral defense. My topic is criminality in the fatherless home, which is a huge topic, especially, you know, being housed as I grew up and from where I work, I work in the South Bronx. So I see all these different things that I would really love to change in children, more than anything else, need our help and need our, I guess, our awareness at the very least. And as you've been doing this research and writing this paper,

what are some of the things that you've discovered about single parent homes without a father? Well, there's a couple things I discovered that go beyond that as well. For example, one, it's a super polarizing topic and it shouldn't be because it's a real world issue and that would be the number one. It's a real world problem. Now, if you look statistically, children in America or around the world in urban areas, statistically have, it's more likely to see that they don't have a father or they're in a single parent home. So like picture Detroit, let's say 71% of the children in Detroit don't know who their father is.

And if you look statistically within the populations of both race and beyond, they're more prone to being part of the criminal justice system in a negative way. It's just very, very sad. So, you're trying to make the link that if a child grows up this way, there's a higher potential occurrence of them sometime going to jail or having trouble with the law. And or not even doing well in school, just living in poverty and also perpetuating the cycle. Now, the reason I connected this myself, which I'm sure some of your listeners can relate to,

is the fact that granted, I grew up in very humble means, but my parents were always a great support system. My father always harped on getting your education. My mom was being on manners and respect. And those things beyond education were the most useful tools in my life, regardless of how I grew up. So this is what I would hope to do for children that are, you know, possibly live the way I did, or for people trying to raise their kids to understand that these are real real world issues that need

our attention, they need to be addressed. Sir, is there anything in your dissertation that you found really intriguing that the listeners might want to hear about? Because to me, it's a pretty fascinating topic because with the rise in divorce rates that we have and these urban environments, et cetera. I can see why it's such a big problem. What are some of the intriguing things that you discovered? The intriguing things I discovered through this research, both qualitative and quantitatively,

I would have to say would be the institution of mental health awareness. So you see that children who are raised in these situations, they don't understand what causes them to do what they do, rather they just react to it. So what happens is they become part of this overwhelming system with mental health. So you see a children that are in these situations are more likely to need mental health, need therapy, stuff like that, which is something that people don't often realize, but mental health is a major caveat to this picture topic, particular topic, which is just, it's fascinating,

it's intriguing, but it's also alarming. Yeah, and what are some of the solutions that you see to, to dealing with this? I would say program mitigation. I would say we need, we as a culture in a society need to be more aware of this is a world world problem. So today, you'll see that they made it a political issue or a polarizing topic, whereas they won't talk about it. So if we have awareness that these children need institutions like the P.A.L., the New York

City, the police, athletic league, where, you know, officers and older, you know, older guys who have the ability help take these kids under their wings. So they won't be at risk youth. This is what we need to do as a culture and society. We have the ability to, we should just take advantage of this as we know what's the problem. Okay, great. So if someone in the audience is more interested in this topic, what are some ways that they could reach out to you? If you'd like, I can leave my contact information. You can look up my name on the internet, and you can see that I have my doctoral information,

my contact information is all out there. But if you'd like, I can send you a brief that you can submit to your audience, and they can feel more than welcome to reach out to me. Maybe I can give them the statistics or information on programs near them. Okay, I'll make sure I put something in the show notes. Perfect. So, so now, you know, you're at this point where you're about ready to finish this doctorate, you're still working at the hospital, you know, we're, you know, I guess one of the things I'd like to understand is aspirationally,

where is it that you see your life going in the future? This is the greatest and I guess the quintessential question that I've been asked. And I mean, I don't want to admit that I don't know at 36 years old, but I'm sort of lost in a lot of different ways. So, for example, as you know, I've been applying for positions everywhere, both operationally, governmental, and you know, with the I've been of COVID-19, things have certainly changed. People are not as responsive as they once were. They have their own issues to deal with, and I see that there's a big disconnect in how people are relating to others. So aspirationally, I want to somehow land a position or an idea or a role that would allow me to be more communicative to people because I'm a rather good talker or a very eloquent speaker in a lot of different ways, but some people aren't.

So if I can possess, take these tools and possess them forward, I would love to do that, but in the meantime, I'm not really sure where this doctor was going to take me, be honest with you. Okay, so I hear you. So you've been on this struggle for so long now. Yes. You're doing this degree now. You're having the negative consequences from literally applying to hundreds as hundreds of jobs, which, you know, you keep hearing these jobs reports where there are 15 million available jobs across the United States, yet you're not getting hired. How, I guess I come back to what keeps you going because it's a lot of frustration hitting you. Well, to give you a little more insight, not to, you know, say too much, but I wake up at 345 in the morning, I drive into the city, which takes me probably an hour and 20 minutes without traffic and about two to 2 and a half hours every day home because of traffic. So I mean, granted I'm grateful for my time at the hospital and grateful for what I've learned, but at the same time, it's time for me to have more time for myself, which I've never had.

And I'm also looking to hopefully maybe one day have a family and all these other wonderful lives caveats. But what keeps me going is the hope, I guess, of just me finding my niche, me being able to have the things I want, like the trivial intangibles. I would love a family of my own. I would love to have a career that would let me help other people. But those are intangible in a lot of ways.

So people often try to find the tangible in life, but it's beyond that. They want the Mercedes-Benz or the big house, the brand new iPhone. Those things mean nothing to me. They're frivolous. I'm looking for something that just has something that I can take with me because in the end of the day, you cannot take it with you. Does that make sense? No, it makes sense and I think that there are many people out there, you know, I know some personally

who kind of feel the same way you are, you know, whether you're your age or you're in your early 40s or it could be your 50s, you know, you're like they've never had a family. They've done all the put in all this schooling. They have this aspiration for where they want to get to. They go out and throw themselves at these opportunities, volunteering, if that even, if that gets them in the door because they know if they can get in the door, their personality's gonna win the people over, yet they don't get the breaks.

And it is such a hard thing to see, being their friend, just getting to know you because you're putting in all this effort to make yourself go in a positive trajectory, which I applaud all the steps you're taking. But you're right. You know, the purpose of this whole show is, you know, how do you find those ways to focus more on your own self-narrative, to work on those things that we all need to work on if we're going to improve and achieve the life that we want.

So, I guess it leads me down the line of, you know, you're living in New Jersey now. You're open. If a listener somehow had a job opportunity and it's in Atlanta or Charlotte or Tampa here, to opportunities outside of where you're at right now. Absolutely. Okay. So I did wanna go into a little bit. No family has been extremely important to you.

And, you know, from that standpoint, what are some of those things about family that mattered the most to you, you know, and some of the things that, you know, the single family homes that you're now researching, what are some of the things that, you know, if you could wave a wand, you wish some of these kids who are struggling, who are likely

headed into this criminal system, what are some of the biggest gaps that we as a society need to help with? All right, that's a great question. And beyond my doctoral research, I would say there's a concept of duality. So for example, let's say you were raising a child and you're a single parent. You know, first of all, I applaud you for it. I know I don't know personally, but I can imagine how difficult it is. So I don't want the listeners or anyone to think that I would be knocking single parent homes. I am absolutely not, and I commend them immensely. But there is a gap in

that, you know, you're getting one person's perspective, you're getting lessons from one person, one life's experience, one personality type. So in multiple parent homes or sibling homes, you're getting different types of personalities and ideas flowing that help melt the person to who they are. So seeing that my mom and dad are very different people, I was able to pick up different nuances from both. Manors, respect, you know, respects, you know, there were some negatives as well,

because we're not perfect, but we're getting duality. I'm getting different types of ideas and concepts with, you know, certain single-parent homes or not. And then other instances, that single-parent has to work extra hard just to provide for them. So who's the teacher when they're not around? Peers, both good and bad, media, both good and bad,

you're getting different concepts. And they're just, it might or might not be good for that particular person, or even a culture or a region. So that's what my research leads me to believe. And just what I could see for my own, with my own two eyes. OK, and I wanted to just ask you a few more questions so that the listener can get to know you a little bit better. Are there any current books that you're reading right now or may have recently finished?

Truthfully, I used to be big on books. I like, I like, you know, I used to love the Harry Potter books. They're not really anything big on that. I like reading lots of my science based books. I'm big on quantum mechanics, astrophysics is a hobby. I read a lot of those books. I read a lot of different books based on science and you know astral, astral phenomenon. I'm big on that, which is a hobby, but I never really went to school for it even though I should have. Well on that topic, what are some of the things that interest you the most?

Hmm, I love seeing how large the universe is. I like seeing how it's, it's just so amazing and so confusing that you wonder who started it all. So, and there's one thing I've learned growing up until now. A lot of people try to find answers in anything that they can, both for God and away from God, to bring up religion. So in a lot of ways, people use sciences to refute God. I see it the other way around because there has to be something that made all this amazing mathematics, all this amazing clockwork of life come together.

I don't see it happening like this by itself. Well, a couple months ago, got into this series called Project Blue Book. I'm not sure if you're familiar with that or not, but it, I think it was a history channel series. I caught it on Amazon Prime, but Project Blue Book was an outfit in the US Air Force that over a period of probably two decades was trying to explain UFO phenomenon and basically they were trying to come up with anything they possibly could to classify these experiences as being anything

but extra terrestrial. So you know, they would come up with whatever scientific means they possibly could. But during this whole thing, the research scientist who was from Ohio State, although he was being ordered to come up with these things that would give the Air Force ammunition to say, no, this was in a UFO, he was becoming more and more convinced the entire time that everything was absolutely correct. And it leads you all the way through what happened at Roswell. It was amazing to me that in the late 50s, there was actually eight to 12 spacecraft that were seen by tens of thousands of people over Washington, DC,

and they were explained away as being some sort of Soviet technology, although in 1954, they were moving at clips of 3,000 to 4,000 miles per hour, which is just laughable, power which is just laughable because no one had that technology. So it's interesting because I firmly believe you know it is next to impossible that we are all alone in this universe. So a great series for you to watch if you haven't had the opportunity. Check it out. So, Florian, if you were going to give any, you know, last bits of advice to the audience on, you know, if they are struggling and they don't know what to do, you know, what would be your advice

for them to move forward? That's another great question. And apart from all the cliche answers of, never give up your dreams or a prey or anything that will prey and helps, but apart from everyone else just coming up with these frivolous ideas of just believe on it or make it happen or work, those aren't real answers. So what I did and what I would suggest is do something because that will lead you down the rabbit hole of finding your niche.

So I didn't always think that I would have an MBA. I didn't ever imagine myself doing a doctorate. So all these things were just part of the stages of me just doing something to find something else. And in a way that brought me to here to meet you, that wouldn't have happened if I didn't have those things. So different transitions of life happened through different transitions of life. You do one step to the next. So my advice to them would be do something. That something might lead to something else, which could lead to something else, which

has brought me so far in life in so many different ways. Okay. And a question I I like to ask guests, just to see where their head is at, is if you were selected as an astronaut and you were one of the first people who landed on Mars and you could establish one law or a role, whatever it may be, that would be doctrine from that point forward, what would it be?

whatever it may be that would be doctrine that from that point forward what would it be? Okay, I have a really good one. The person, I mean, I'm going to lead to a story that's going to answer this question perfectly. So as I struggled with my doctorate, I was looking for answers everywhere, including YouTube. I ended up meeting this gentleman. He's a doctorer himself and he was also, he's also started a company or a program called Resoprocity. And what that did is it helped, it's a program that helps other doctorate students like myself and like he was to get help or push forward. He's not affiliated with me in any which way other than the fact

that we became friends on LinkedIn after me looking him up and trying to understand his company because his work helped me so much. He has one rule on his show. And that is after you watch a show and if something on the show helped you, pay it forward. So with that, my rule on Mars would be when something does something nice, do something nice for someone else or don't ask for money in return, pay it forward. So for example, a guy was broke down, not too long ago in his truck, and I ended up buying a gas can, filling it with gas,

and putting it in his car, and I gave him everything, and he wanted to pay me, and I said, no. When someone else is in the same situation, pay it forward. And that's all I would ever do, or I've never asked anyone to do. Okay, well that is great. And I think it shows so much about, not only your personality, but your DNA and who you are.

Because I, you know, just in the short time, I've gotten to know you, I know you're the type who pays for all the time. And well, any last bits of advice before we close up shop? Like I said, everyone else just do something. You know, don't ever stop moving, don't ever stop trying to do whatever it is that you think you want to do

because it will lead to something that you'll love to do. That's my only bit of advice in closing. Okay, well, Flory, thank you so much for being on the podcast. It was great to have you here today. It's my pleasure and it's nice to meet you and I hope I was able to help your listeners in some way, shape or form. What a truly amazing story that was that Florida shared with us today. And now I wanted to highlight our guest of the week who comes from Australia. Rose Jackabin writes,

excellent podcast. Your advice on the five ways to keep your attention focused offered some amazing tips. Thank you so much Rose, and thank you for our growing audience in Australia and New Zealand. We're downloading this podcast each and every week. It means so much to us to see this show, go viral, go worldwide audience. We have some great episodes coming up

over the next couple of weeks. One is with Lily Walford who is a dating expert but she does it in a unique way. My help and her clients learn how to read body language and how to do profiling so that they can get the match they've always wanted in their life. And then we have on my friend, retired Greenberry, Andrew Mar, who will talk to us about how he overcame tremendous trauma from his second or they did in Afghanistan. Why he founded the War of Angels Foundation

and how it is helping thousands of veterans across the country overcome chronic traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress disorder. Thank you as always for joining us on the show. Now go out there and become passion-struck. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make passion go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the Passion Start podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to your podcast ad. And if you absolutely love this episode, we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes and you sharing it with three of your most

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