Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Gail Swift On: The Power of Taking Action EP 77

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

Gail Swift is Speaker, Kolbe Consultant, and Certified Life Coach. She sits down to talk to John R. Miles about the power of taking action. When people know how they take action, it's their, ideal sweet spot. It's the nirvana of productivity. New to this channel and the passion-struck podcast? Check out our starter packs which are our favorite episodes grouped by topic, to allow you to get a sense of all the podcast has to offer. Go to https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. Like this? Please subscribe, and join me on my new platform for peak performance, life coaching, and personal growth: https://passionstruck.com/. Athletic Greens is a custom formulation of 75 vitamins, minerals, and other whole-food sourced ingredients that make it easier for you to maintain nutrition in just a single scoop. It tastes great and gets you the nutrients you need, whether you're working on the go, fueling an active lifestyle, or just maintaining your good health. Visit https://athleticgreens.com/passionstruck. Get a FREE year supply of Liquid Vitamin D + 5 FREE Travel Packs with the subscription. Like this? Want passion-struck wisdom delivered to your inbox weekly? Sign up for the FREE passion struck email at: https://passionstruck.com/. Thank you for Watching the Passion Struck podcast. In this powerful Episode, Gail Swift discusses how everyone is born with a pattern of taking action. It's called coordination, the third part of the mind. New Interviews with the World's GREATEST high achievers will be posted every Tuesday with a Momentum Friday inspirational message!  Show Notes 0:00 Introduction 3:35 Gail's career in Television 9:42 Being born with the power of taking action 14:16 Working with how people problem-solve 17:45 Helping children to take action 20:47 Being a contributor to the world 30:39 Can you have passion without pain? 35:49 The power of the Kolbe Index 41:02 The Kolbe Index Modes 45:01 Finding a career based on how you take action 48:50 Don't be afraid to allow kids to have success 50:57 Natural Consequences 52:50 What is your threshold? 54:30 How Freedom breads passion ENGAGE GAIL SWIFT *Website:https://www.planstoprospercoaching.com/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/plans.to.prosper.coaching/ *Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gail-swift/ This is Gail’s calendar link to a 20-minute Discovery Call: https://calendly.com/how-you-work-when-free-to-be-you/20min?month=2021-10   ENGAGE WITH JOHN R. MILES * Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles * Leave a comment, 5-star rating (please!) * Support me: https://johnrmiles.com * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Johnrmiles.c0m. * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles ABOUT JOHN R. MILES * https://johnrmiles.com/my-story/ * Guides: https://johnrmiles.com/blog/ * Coaching: https://passionstruck.com/coaching/ * Speaking: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking-business-transformation/ * Gear: https://www.zazzle.com/store/passion_struck PASSION STRUCK *Subscribe to Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-passion-struck-podcast/id1553279283 *Website: https://passionstruck.com/ *About: https://passionstruck.com/about-passionstruck-johnrmiles/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/passionstruck *Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/  

I don't regret anything that happens when I go with my natural grain and go with my gut. When I ignore it or dismiss it for who I think is a bigger, better person, that's when I start to have potential regrets is when I start to do things the way other people do them because I see them having success. Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders, and growth seekers of all types, to the Passion Struck podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach, Malt-Bin Industries CEO, maybe veteran, and entrepreneur on a mission to make passion go viral for millions worldwide.

And each week I do so by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing eye achievers from all walks of life who unlock their secrets and lessons to become an action-struck. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener by giving you tips, tasks, and activities you can use to achieve peak performance and for too a passion-driven life you have always wanted to have. Now, let's become PassionStruck. Welcome to the PassionStruck Podcast and thank you so much for joining us today. I know how important your time is and the fact that there are over 2.6 million different podcasts out there that you could be listening to, so it means so much to us that you're here today spending your time with us.

And if there is a specific topic that you want to hear about or guess that you want to hear on the show, please DM me on Instagram at John R. Miles or Passionstruck Podcast. And if you haven't checked it out yet, please go and subscribe to our YouTube channel at John R. Miles. We have a great episode today with Gail Swift, and I'm going to start as I always do with a couple of quotes. Aristotle said, knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. And Kathy Colby said, I dare you to dare me.

And that's pretty much the way my life has been. You tell me I can't, I will. Two great quotes that form a great foundation for today's episode with Gail Swift. Now let me tell you a little bit more about Gail. Gail is a speaker, Colby Consultant, and Certified Life Coach, who is fiercely committed to guiding students and families to take action in their natural abilities.

And today we discuss why she left her six-figure career and pursuit of the Holy Grail. Why is so vital that people have the freedom to work their way? Because they will have more effort and mental capability to contribute to their work. My lives are continuing to change as people uncover their superpowers and doing so by asking the right questions. How you will never know the day or time that an empowering question will reveal personal transformation. How she got into using the Colby Index, what it is, and how you can apply it to your life, and that of your child.

How she uses it to coach kids and families, and so much more. Now, let's become PassionStrap. Gail Swift, I am so excited to welcome you to the Passion Start podcast. Thank you for coming on today. I am so glad to be here. Thank you for having me, John. Well, I had the chance to listen to a number of podcasts that you've done recently before the show and and did some research on you along the way. And I thought a great place for us to start the show. So the audience could really get a deep understanding of you

is the transition you made into what you're doing now. Because as I was reading about you, you were living what many people would aspire to live. A six-figure job where a lot of people think that that is their aspiration. And for you, you were living it and you decided to give it up in a very visible way. So I was hoping you could kind of talk to the audience

about how did you get into that position and then what made you take that leap to do what you're doing now? How did I get into the position of doing what I was doing or the leaving part? Well, doing what you were doing and then why did you decide to leave? I wound up doing what I was doing because in college, when I, first of all, I realized for the first time that I was really good at theater, I was really good at producing shows.

And when I started organizing and producing and directing shows, I would ask people questions bringing out the best characters for my plays. I was good at it and it was the first time I'd ever realized that I had that talent and I wanted to be a stage manager. So I came home from college and I said, Hey, dad, I'm going to be a stage manager and he said, Hey, pumpkin, how are you making even doing that? That's not a real job. People don't do that. And he was in sales for IBM for a number of years and I thought, well how can I combine theater and sales? I'll go into television. So I went and I had an informational interview at WMACU in Chicago with a sales director and the news director and I said if you had a daughter

my age who wanted to get into the business, where would you tell them, where would you tell them to go? And they said target your market small, like 200 and 140 television stations out of 215 markets. And so I did. And I got a job offer. My first one was in Duluth, Minnesota. And when you start off in a small market,

you just want to keep moving up. And you want to keep rising and getting into the top three, which are New York, LA, and Chicago. My goal was to get back to Chicago by the time I was 27, so I have arrived at that point, right? I will have made it getting to that really top market. So that's how I got into television in the first place.

Okay, and you know, a lot of people love that career in television because it's fast-paced. You get to have a lot of different experiences, get to meet a lot of influential people. You know, what were some of the things that you ended up loving about that career? people, you know, what were some of the things that you ended up loving about that career? I did love that aspect of it. You're right. I was in sales. I filled in sometimes for news people or commercials. I would make a lot of those because I was already talent. And so the flexibility in the meeting people and the lunches and the events were you're right. Super exciting and enticing. It was, in some days, you could live by the, like, the things to do, like, the events, taking clients to these places or going out to these shows. There was always that energy

like you put it. It was always there. And that was exciting to have. Yeah, I also hear it can be pretty cutthroat in the industry. Is that something you experienced as well? Absolutely. Yes. Of course, I had a really hefty budget and I work best with freedom. So if you basically stay away from me, I will perform. If I am feeling smothered or too much like hovering over me, like where is this, where is that? It's like a, it's a deterrent for success for me.

And so I had some managers that happened to say, you know, Gail, you are great when you're on. If you could just be up here the whole time, that would be fantastic. Can you do that? And I can't do that. I sold and then I took a rest. And I sold and then I took a rest.

And it was like that. I was 100% commission pretty much actually 80% to 90% for probably 12 years. And I wasn't a position of television station where I made, oh my gosh, John, I made, it was a salary for a year and it was the worst year of my life. It was the worst. Yeah, I did not like it. So is that part of what started to give you this idea that you wanted to do something different? It actually isn't it true that when you are doing something

you love and then you realize that it's not that way anymore, you really know what you love that much more, makes it sweeter. So that situation taught me what I needed to be successful. If that makes sense. I realized when it was gone, that I needed that freedom to be successful. Yeah, and I was looking at your website and you had a phrase that went along the lines of,

you know, people are so much more effective when they're basically doing their job in the way that is unique to them and allows them to be, you know, to have the freedom to job in the way that is unique to them and allows them to be, you know, to have the freedom to form in the way that they're built to perform. Could you talk about that a little bit more? I know I'm paraphrasing, but what did you mean by that? Everyone is born with a pattern of taking action. That's what I work with right now. It's called co-nation, the third part of the mind. And what I mean by that statement that I said

is when people know how they take action, it's their ideal sweet spot. It's the nirvana of productivity, I would say. And when I knew that, because I can only speak, I can speak for myself very clearly, when I know that and I fight for it, I never, I don't regret anything that happens when I go with my natural grain and go with my gut.

When I ignore it or dismiss it for who I think is a bigger, better person. That's when I start to have potential regrets is when I start to do things the way other people do them, because I see them having success. And as I've gotten older and realized, there's a filter that I so need to have to sift through the information of all of the other successful people say that I need to do. And if it's not through my lens, John, it's not going to work. That's what I mean by that phrase. You need to know how you work for me. I need to know how I work, and I need to sift and filter through the information my way.

And then I'm most successful. Does that make sense? It makes sense. And I know a lot of people say, there's Simon Sennick and this and that and 20,000 books out there that are about finding you know your purpose or your why or your passion or whatever it may be. What makes your approach different from those because that was something that I liked

about your background is you help people discover some of this at a much earlier age. And maybe looking back, I wish I would have had more of that technique applied to me because I found as an adolescent and then through high school, you know, it was very difficult to understand what your strengths are. And I don't think it was unique to that time when we grew up. I think it's still happening today. So how was this approach you're taking a bit different? Well, it wasn't around when we were in high school. That's for sure. It wasn't around. It is around now, but it wasn't around then. It actually was discovered in 1980, well, 1987 is when it came out. And, John, my head's scrambling with everything, because I was thinking about different things. I want to get back on. I want to get on the

exact track. So can you ask me that question again? So I want to be succinct with my answer. track. So can you ask me that question again? So I want to be succinct with my answer. Yeah, I guess what I am, okay, I'll say it again. So there are a ton of different books, different podcasts that all go into, how do you find your why? I even did my own podcast episode on this and I think this whole concept in many ways gets overplayed but my my version that I came up with is I think one of the things regardless of your age that you can do is look back at when you were younger, when you were an adolescent, when you were in high school, et cetera. And what were the things that you loved to do?

What could have been playing sports or it could have been being very creative or it could have been you liked to write? Because I think if you go back in time to what energized you when you were young, you probably still have that same passion and it may have gotten buried somewhere. So I know the technique you use is working with,

maybe I, I know you work with different groups, but one of them is with children and adolescents. So I was wondering, how do you go about helping them understand what their gifts are and where they can operate to be most comfortable with, what brings them joy? First of all, you're so right. I agree with you 150%.

Your gifts and talents and passions are there when you're on the playground. You are so right about that. And I think that people, they, you're right. It gets crusted over by life. But they're there. I loved asking people questions. I loved being random. I loved, yeah, I love interviewing actually. I do like asking people questions. I like asking people questions that matter. But on the playground, I got looked at like I was a crazy person. Like what? She's switching gears again. And so that's that was the beginning of the crust of life that encompassed and covered up my gift. Is because I started reacting to other people's reaction from me being me. And so making

that more important than what I wanted to do, and that's where the crust starts to come over. And I don't work with the personality. I don't work with people's personalities. I work with how they solve problems. So for example, and there's crust over both. When you have your motivation and you have your passion, when you have your why, as you've said, and you find that there's a pattern of how you continue to take action every day. That's the same. You're born with it and you're gonna die with it. And that's what I work with. Thank you for joining us today on the Passion Start podcast.

We'll be right back. This episode is sponsored by Athletic Greens, the health and wellness company that makes comprehensive daily nutrition so easy. As we talk about all the time on the show, there are so many stressors in life from crazy careers, busy schedule, sleep issues, lack of exercise, and maybe most importantly, the lack of getting great nutritional support. And that ultimately impacts how we perform both in our careers and in our daily life. I first learned about athletic greens a few years ago from Tim Ferris. And I used to take so many vitamins each and every day. And athletic greens has simplified that because all I do now

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Now, how that transfers to keep the cross to offer kid? Let's just go there. So the cross can start to form, in my opinion, John, when other people's way of working is descended on your way of working. Meaning, they are telling you that that way isn't right, that you need to do things my way, a teacher, a parent, it doesn't matter.

Or a kid, and you start to listen to that. You're like, oh, okay, maybe they know it better, and then the crust starts to form. So what I do is very early on, I established that child's pattern for taking action. And then I teach the parents to fight, fight for the child to have that freedom to keep the learning alive, to keep the excitement in the eyes. Because about third grade is when the lights can go out. If you are different from most teachers. If you're different from parents, like if the if the way you work is different, it could get very difficult. So at a very young age, I established how people work.

And then I encourage them to keep that open, the lines of communication, the curiosity, the learning through how they work, if that kind of makes sense. It does. And how does that then influence the career that they can get into? Is it because of what they're most comfortable doing kind of leads into certain pathways that they can take, where they get to continue to express themselves in that way? Is that kind of the idea? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yes, exactly right. If you're born with a pattern of taking action and you can identify that in a three-year-old, and if you know that three-year-old is not into the details at all, but you are as a parent,

I will tell you that reading time will be disastrous for you because it was for me. I have a child that is not into the details and reading time was horrible. And we were fighting constantly, fighting until I knew how he worked. And when I knew that, Mike, oh my goodness, he doesn't have a need for the details. He needs the information in a different way. He pays attention to it, but he needs it in a different way. So when I knew this talent about him, I adjusted so he could get the information his way, and then it worked out. That's just one example. So you're right.

If you are naturally not in the details, you're not going to be a patent attorney, or you're not going to be an attorney, probably at all, or an accountant. You need to be into the details. If you're not, it's going to be tough and you have to have other reasons for it. But based on your natural way of taking action,

there are careers that naturally dovetail into your way of doing things. Yes. Okay, so I know one of the biggest challenges today is the peer pressure that kids are facing. And I think when you get into this, they start operating in a different way. I think a lot of it is because whether it's social media, peer pressure, whatever, it could even be the zip code you grow in, grow up in your parents, they're giving you all these beliefs.

They're influencing your persona and how you see yourself. Which, I think too many of us, especially when we're young, we take on these things because especially if we're different from others, you wanna fit in. So when I know today in this social media age, that both our sets of kids are growing up in, I think it's made it even worse than perhaps when we were growing up because everything seems

to be constantly on. And not only, you know, was it your friends who were influencing you, but other things that you're seeing on the web, other messages that are getting into your head. So as you're working with kids who are going through this, and there's a parent who might be listening to this, what are some techniques that you use to help those kids, you know, stick to more of their self-narrative or looking inside themselves instead of feeling like

they have to be part of the mob or the community, whatever it might be. All right, so I'm moving over and doing another lane, John. This isn't... Cognitive, the part of the mind that I work with does not... It doesn't have anything to do with social media. It doesn't have anything to do with social media. So I'm gonna answer your questions as parent to parent.

Right? Just parent to parent. Right? Just parent to parent, because I have a son that is influenced by that, and I have a son who's not influenced by that. And different kinds of music that you may or may not agree with or being on social media wouldn't be great if what I said next was the answer to it all. I can speak to what has worked for me. And when they were little, I simply, when I noticed their response or their attitude after they were on something, listening to something, watching something, looking at YouTube or Instagram or whatever they're doing.

I asked them to pay attention to how they're feeling. If they want to contribute and give back, do you feel filled up right now? Are you in a position of contributing because that's super important to me to raise contributors. Did this help you be a contributor? Does it help you be a respectful person? If the answer is no, then we need to rethink that. Because my husband and I agreed on three things that we wanted out of our kids before we even had kids. One of them was to be a contributor to the world.

And the second one was to have respect for yourself and others. And the third was to have integrity. If what happens on the ground, like matching socks, straight A's, social media, if it doesn't contribute to one of those three things that were our important to us, then it needs to take a back seat. And honestly, that takes time for us. It's not, it's not like a one and done. It's not like a conversation.

It takes time, John. There's no easy, that's not easy for me at all. Yeah, how do you navigate that? Well, I think like many parents, I have two children who are six years apart. Most people probably have them closer, but unfortunately my wife had a number of miscarriages and then had some other things that made it difficult for her to have children. But regardless of the age split,

they both learn in very different ways. My son, who's older, was the type who many things came easy to him. Whether it was learning music or sports or other things. He was just a natural athlete, just a natural musician. But for him, life really changed when he went to middle school because we moved from Charlotte to Austin and he went from a relatively small school setting into a West Lake school system in Austin

where I think in his grade alone he had 1,000 to 1,200 kids. And not only that, but they're one of the top school systems in the country. So the level of education there was much higher, not know, not to be little what he experienced and, you know, like Norman, but it was considerably different in the quality. But in addition to that, he was having a ton of peer pressure because at that time he was going into middle school and he didn't necessarily know kids and he started kind of getting into the wrong groups of kids so to speak. And then when we moved here to the Tampa Bay Area, we put him in a private school and to be honest, just first few years, he really bombed. But we came to realize He really bombed, but we came to realize he was bombing

because he had never really learned how to study, how to focus, how to organize himself. And so for him, going into that smaller private school, long-term was the best thing for him because he kind of figured it out at the end of his sophomore year and now has just excelled over time. Whereas my daughter is kind of the opposite, not very much comes easy to her, but she's an extremely hard worker, so much to the point that we were wondering why

So much to the point that we were wondering why does it take her to much longer times to grasp things or why does she have to put in more work. And it turns out she had sensory and auditory processing issues that, you know, luckily we caught when she was in elementary school. And so because she was treated for it, she's gotten a lot better. I still think she still learns differently because of that and has to work harder in some ways to do it. But I would agree with you.

One of the things that we have tried to instill in them is the idea of humility, because I think, I think I say this a lot on the show. It's part of my book. I thank right now we are facing three major contagians and I call them the contagion of the human mind, human spirit, and human ego. So it's apathy, comfort, and showmanship. And I think so many people are growing up in

different, to serving others, serving the world, etc. So, you know, we wanted to teach them humility, we wanted to teach them, you know, serving others. You know, we wanted to teach them empathy and compassion and those things because, and also not be self-critical of them, but let them be themselves because I, you know, I think the more you can let a person, early on, make mistakes, maybe like my son did, I'd much rather have him learn that now than when he was 15 and 16 than when he was in college or 23, 24. And so those are some of the ways that we've managed it. But to your point, I think each kid is very different. For me, I had always hoped, because I grew up in the family where we all played football and we're into the big sports and, and, and neither of the kids were, were necessarily like that they were more artsy. So, but rather than force them into, you know, what works for me, we kind of just let them focus on the interests that bring them joy.

What you said about your son, I recognized it so clearly. You said that he had a hard time for a couple of years when you moved to the private school in Tampa, but after that, he figured it out. He figured it out. He figured, well, he figured it out. He learned through that school school how to study, how to apply himself that he was going to have to put in the work because their academics were really tough. In fact, when he went to college, he thought it was a heck of a lot easier than some of

the stuff he did in high school, but when he came into it, because he didn't grow up like many of his classmates growing up into a system like that, it was much more difficult for him to have to meet those academic standards without having the study habits and maybe focus and organization that many of us classmates had. Do you think that you can have passion without pain? No, I mean, I think if you've ever listened to any show that David Goggins has been on, Navy SEAL David Goggins, been on Navy Seal David Goggins. I just did an episode with another Navy Seal Commander Mark Divine.

I don't think that I don't care if it's passion or living a no-go-regard's life or whatever it is unless you're facing obstacles, challenges, fears, whatever they may be in your life, unless you face those have failures, learn from them, you're never going to excel to the point that in fact if I meet someone and they tell me it's always been an easy ride, they've never had setbacks, things like that. To me, I call BS. Or something's going to happen in the future because no one who is a strong leader or a strong human in life

gets there without the pain of emotional struggle, as well as other things that they have to overcome. Here's what you did, John. Here's the beauty of it. It's so exciting, sorry, it's so exciting. It's so exciting to see. If you picture a balloon full of confetti, right?

And there's so much in that, like the irritating stuff that your friend might send you in a card or find all over your table. If you have a balloon that's full of confetti, and it's the kid, and it's floating down to the bottom. And as soon as it hits the ground, the parents kind of reach out their hand to try and touch it and protect it

from hitting the ground, which is the pain. But it's not until that child or student balloon experiences pain in the popping that you see what's inside. And so what you did and I do completely agree with, we watched the mistakes in the pain happen under our roof. We watched that pain, we experienced that pain with them, were there alongside them, not to get them out of it,

but then and only then can you see how they solve problems and what they're made of on the inside. And you did that, which is pretty rare to see. Well, my daughter had a similar experience this past year or so. I don't know how some of these kids are doing it because COVID and the restrictions has placed so much other pressure and in some ways isolation on them at a time when they're

in their formative years where community is so important to them. And in her case, you know, when you took away some of her outlets, which she used to play in rock bands, social clubs, and others that you're no longer able to do, you lose this whole complete outlet for your anxiety. And obviously, she's not alone. I'm sure there's hundreds of thousands, if not millions of kids who were impacted, but in her case,

you took the person who is a valedictorian, had a 4.7 average, and part of it was her own doing because she tried to take on seven AP classes in her junior year, but she struggled through it, ended up getting almost all straight A's, but it was not an easy path for her. There were periods where she got a ton of anxiety, not as much from the classes, but I just think the pressure that she was putting on herself, herself, because her mom and I weren't putting that pressure

on. In fact, I was like, you're crazy to be trying to take this on. I wouldn't do it. If you bomb this, it's going to only impact your ability to get into some of these colleges that you want, but she was dead set on wanting to do it. I'm not. I think similar to my son, sometimes you've got to learn the lessons by going through these periods of time, and it was a tough year for her, but, you know, already

this year, she's, you know, hitting her senior year with a much different attitude. And, you know, I think, core strength that she's built up inside her, that, you know, she can overcome adversity. And I think it's good to have adversity. Way to go. Way to go, dad, yes, I would agree. So can you talk a little bit about then, how I know you're certified in Colby. I have taken a Colby test myself, it's been a little bit, but I know that the whole Colby model

is all about taking action. So for someone who doesn't understand it or who might not have taken one of these tests, why is this something that you would want to give, you know, either to your children or why could it be, you know, say you're a Gen Zier or a millennial out there and You've never taken this before. Why would you want to take it? What's it gonna tell you about yourself that you might not know? It might tell you that you do things differently than your teachers and it has nothing to do with your IQ or your personality and when you know that That it has nothing to do with your teacher. So my son really felt stupid because he was opposite of the teacher. So he came home and he felt dumb and less than. And now knowing this about him, we can go into the classroom equipped.

So that's one thing it does is it equips you for how your student is talented because they are talented and we had a meeting. And the meeting was how can you be successful being so different, taking actions so differently than the teacher. And the three of us came up with a brainstorm. Tyler wanted to be the go-to guy. He wanted to be the fix it guy for the school in the classroom.

So because the teacher said, yes, he started fixing things. And he got up and he would move around and he would fix lights and clocks and desks. And now he's in welding school. He wants to be a master carpenter and welder by the time he's 18. Like, and he's in a construction technology track. If I didn't know how he worked, John, if I didn't know that, I would still be banging my head against a wall to tell him to plan.

Don't be last minute. Pick up your room. Why do you do this? Why do you do that in shaming instead of celebrating and highlighting? That's huge. So we stopped fighting about the things that we're going to change in him, because they're not. There's no way I could overrule or overturn his innate pattern for taking action. So as a parent, I learned to go with it. And when I learned to go with it, he learns to go with it and grows his confidence. And then slowly knows how to respectfully request what he needs to be the best student every single day that he can. That's one advantage of knowing how you work when you're young. No, that's terrific advice. And I think, unfortunately, for many kids, and I probably put myself there, I, in some ways, had so much micro-management happening in my home.

That, you know, I think you launch out into the world. You know, if you would have looked at me when I was in high school, you would have thought, I was a perfect person. I was doing top five in my class, varsity athlete. All the leadership things you would want, I would volunteer, look great on paper. But in my case, I don't think my siblings and I had that opportunity to really face adversity and get to know our own inner narrative.

And you know, for me, then I came out of that, went in the military, where they're creating an internet for you, so to speak, because the military is gonna ingrain you into their traditions and how they want you to function and operate. So for me, I think it took well after I left the military to I started really practicing more mindfulness and self-interrespective. And it's something that I wish kids could do earlier on because, you know, the longer you take to do it,

the more work it takes to get rid of all the baggage that you've built up. to get rid of all the baggage that you've built up. So, I wanna go back to the Coby analysis just for a second. If I remember the test correctly, it has buckets such as fact finder, follow through quick start implementer. Wow. That's impressive. And I'm wondering, what does it mean? You know,

because I hear something like quick start. Like, what does that mean as far as this model goes? When did do you remember when you took it? Probably four or five years ago. Okay, okay. So the modes, do you want me to explain what they mean? Sure. So the fact finder mode is your need for information. So it's one through 10 in each of the modes. And the only difference, John, is time. So if someone gets a one or someone gets a 10,

that just means they spend a lot more time in that mode if they have a 10. So it doesn't have anything to do with good or bad or right or wrong, it just kind of is on a, so each of the sections have 10, one through 10. And so a fact finder, if you're a one, you need bullet points. If you're a 10, you need a lot of details and you dive into what's been done in the past.

The second mode, like you said, is follow through. That's six systems in organization. So if you're in the one, two, three category, you will shortcut, skip steps, circumvent, cut through red tape and bureaucracy. How do they make it? How do they make it? Okay, have piles, have piles all over your office

or your house and you know where everything is, but you have to have things out in front of you to see it to know it's there. On the other end of the file through the second line of the organization, the 7th or 10th is your need to finish what you start. Do not interrupt these people. They they don't work. You need to let them finish what they start and then they can move on to the next their planners. They are systematizers. They create long term, long range plans for businesses and they're long-term, long-range plans for businesses, and they're very good at it, very good at it. They work with timelines and calendars.

And the green is risk and uncertainty, and up at the top of the green, the 123 category is where you want to keep things stable. You don't need a lot of surprises, so you will work to keep things status quo, right? Why change something? It works this way. Let's keep it this way. And on the other end of the spectrum, seven through ten and green, they're going to change things because they're bored. They're just going to change it for the sake of change. They're very last minute. They do things randomly. They show up in the middle of your door and start asking questions. They're very random and they need a lot of options. So they're innovators. And then the last is implementer. This is always the confusing one for people. Implementer is your need to get your hands on the environment, like physically need to get

your hands on the environment. So if your daughter is in a band or she has her hair colored or she has tattoos or piercings, I'm not sure. But in the one, two, three category of the yellow, you can envision how something's going to look. On the bottom, you need to physically get your hands on it and make sure it's a viable quality product. So at the bottom of implementer 7 through 10, these jobs would be pilot, race car driver, surgeon, craftsman, jobs that require you to physically get your hands on things. Does that make sense? It does. Okay. Yeah. So that person is very quality-driven.

If they have implementer in them, they're touch-oriented physical things matter to them. And my kids and my family are all over the place. And we assess literally, we assess jobs and responsibilities based on their modus operandi or their MO. Well, I think the last thing I would want is to have a surgeon who was not detailed warrant. Yes.

Right. Absolutely. Yes. Yes. So how many school systems are across the country are now giving something like the Colby to help kids Analyze and when do you think if you were going to recommend it is the best time that a A person as they're growing up would first start taking this test. I Would love to see it in young young young kids. I work with families privately,

but as far as school systems, eighth grade to sophomore year is ideal. And honestly, it's been all over the world, John. It is all over the world. Myself and there were originally 15 in our group who could handle and work with kids. So I'm especially trained to work with kids in this capacity. And high schools and Montessori schools, it's all over the world that it's been in schools. It's not in this function to work with the undeclared students because with the Colby comes a job opportunity it's through OpGIG. So OpGIG finds a career based on how you take action. So when colleges can have 200 undeclareds

and now I come in or someone will come in and work with them, then they know exactly the lane of all of those kids that didn't know where they were going to go. And that's super helpful. It is. Well, I'll just go back to my kids for a second and just they're the way that they approach music because it was completely opposite. Both kids started playing piano probably when they were three or four. And both are very good at it, and they're both able to play other instruments. Now my son is the type, he is a phenomenal drummer and percussionist overall, but I could

have, let's just pick a song, he could never have heard a song from the food fighters, and he could hear one for the first time, and after hearing it, one or two times, he can play the whole song. Whereas my daughter is my daughter plays piano, she can play other instruments, she ended up picking up the bass. And her reasoning was actually awesome. She wanted to play in a band, and she's like, dad, just think about it. If most bands are mostly boys, and what are they going to want to do? They're going to be the lead singer, the drummer,

or the lead guitarist. So if I become a really good bassist, everyone's going to want-to-have-me-and-band. But her way of learning it is she goes on to YouTube and she can read music very well. And so she'll just read the chords for different songs and she was able to pick it up very quickly because of the way she learns.

So it, you know, just that small experience, and I'm giving this for the audience out there, you know, are two different learning styles, but you know, it gives you an indication of how each child, you know, learns and applies themselves. Which I think it's important to have kids or young adults, whatever they may be, realize how they learn and because learning and then how you perform in your job are, I think there's such a parallel to them. Yes, absolutely. Yes, there is. Absolutely. Yes, there is. So what is some advice that you can give the listeners then about as you've been applying Kobe now to different groups of kids working with families, what are the common things that

you see, you know, if there is like a one, two, three list of things that you help people work with, what are those? And can you give some of the experiences that you've had? I would say take advice from you, John. Don't be afraid to let them make mistakes under your roof. Don't be afraid to make them let them make mistakes under your roof so you can help them. Have them know how they work, so you know what you're working with. And they are totally and completely capable,

more capable than you think. Just because they're young, doesn't mean they don't know how to solve problems. They might need to learn how to do things. So for example, I have your child make a bed Hey, can you go make your bed and the child goes back and they put hospital corners on their bed And everything is really taught and you can bounce a quarter off it like my dad used to like he was in the military And so then my son comes and makes his bed and he just flips one cover up on the whole thing

See I made my bed. So you step back as a parent and you ask yourself, what's the point? Is the point that my son makes his bed or is the point that my son makes his bed his way? What's the point? And you'll save yourself a ton of headache if you realize that the point is that he does the thing,

not does the thing your way. Okay. And I know one of the biggest issues for parents is the whole idea of punishment or, you know, what do you do if kids are acting out or not doing what you, you know, they're doing things in a different direction than you think might be healthy for them.

So what's your thought on how do you punish kids? Because when I was growing up, I would just get grounded or get the belt or things like that. But I know there's a lot of different thinking on this approach on what provides the best benefit. Again, John, yeah, you and I went through the same thing. I went through the same thing.

I had to write things out 100 times. I'm like, why am I doing this? Like, what's the point? I don't understand. So, I am a firm believer of natural consequences. And I have, I give age appropriate decisions and allowances to kids. So you can have the red one or the blue one, right, depending on how old you are. But I guess I would need like a specific example. My kids know that if they find themselves in jail, that they got themselves there and they're going to get themselves out. Like, that's kind of the way it works. But if they're heading down, like, have they been dinged on ditching? Yes, my son went dinged on ditching. Did we find out

about it? And did he have to go apologize? Absolutely. But natural consequences are I find the most effective for sure. I don't know how else to say it, but that's how I've generally done it. Well, let's take an example that you find out. You've got a high school student, you find out that they're skipping classes

and not attending school is frequently, is they're telling you that they are. What do you do in a situation like that or what would you recommend? So and it's so interesting, what's your threshold is what I would ask the parent. And I would ask the child this too, are you okay to repeat? Freshman here? Are you okay to not graduate? Are you, how are you going to make money if you'd like? Are you okay with taking, retaking software here or retaking this class in the summer?

Depending on that answer, so if they're skipping classes, what else is going on behind the scenes? There's always something underneath, right? Temper tantrums and tirades are usually an outward expression of what's going on behind the scenes. That's the same with, I think, really bad behavior. When I've seen my kids have super bad behavior,

there's usually something going on underneath. So I try and address that because that's just the external thing that's a result of what's going on at least in our house. It's been. So I try and find out what's going on. And then if they're skipping class, then they may have to repeat that class. The tricky part comes in, John, is if they don't care. Right. If they don't care. That's a bigger issue. That's a such a bigger issue if they don't care. I mean, then stop all expectations, stop everything. Like, let's figure out why. What do you care about?

Like, let's get down to it. Cut the swap out, cut the crust away. What's going on? Do we need to have some more fun? Like, what is happening? And find out, because that's worth the fight. That is worth it. OK, and I kind of want to end on this last question. I know you're big on

asking questions and that questions can lead to different things so So what types of questions do you recommend asking to help people uncover their superpower? Hmm, you mean of their kids with themselves Let's tackle both. Let's start maybe with the kids. Okay. My son was just bouncing on the trampoline a couple months ago, and he was bouncing and bouncing and bouncing,

and he said, I'm so glad I stuck with hockey past the five month mark. And I was like, why do you say five months? And he said, because in wrestling, when I was in wrestling, I quit at five months. And when I was in karate, I knew I wanted to quit at five months, but I stuck it out and I in basketball,

the same thing happened. So I knew it was coming in hockey, and I just, this is what he said, I just persevered through the five months. So if he didn't have the freedom to choose and decide how would he have known that he has this five-month obstacle, he wouldn't have known. So based on the freedom, then he knows and asking him how he knew that and how he discovered that and something just happened the other day. Oh, as far as picking things up or around the house, it's summertime.

So there wasn't school and he was feeling a little lazy. So when he was cooking things, it was just for him or he was picking up just his thing. And so I say things like, I've noticed that when you're cooking or when you're cleaning, it is just for you. And in my mind, John, I'm saying, pick it up. We work together as a family. What are you doing?

Like you're being one. I kind of was like that. But I thought, how can I phrase this in such a way? And so I'd say I've noticed. And he's like, yeah, mom, I'm super lazy. I'm just not feeling like doing anything. I'm really lazy this summer. And I thought about it.

And I said, tell me about the season when you kick it in. When is the season where you're not feeling lazy? What does that look like? And he kind of thought about it. And he's like, well, there isn't a season for that. I said, I know that when we work as a family on all cylinders, we're rock stars and everyone benefits when we're on all cylinders.

And so we appreciate your input and we need your input. And so the next day, he stepped it up without the shame. And he came forth and started doing more chores, right? And so questioning instead of shaming to get out of it for us has helped. for us has helped. Yeah, I could write a book on questions. I could write a book on what to ask. The alarm didn't go off. My husband so wanted to get my son out of bed. I was like, no.

Like, and so it was this, it was this battle, right? Because I've had parents say, you're gonna let, you wanna let my kid fail. Gail, you wanna let my kid fail? Freedom breeds passion. So if they have the freedom to choose and then deal with the consequences, you're gonna find passion like you did in your kids, John,

earlier on. So the alarm didn't go off. My husband did wind up waking him up and that was the last time he's going to wake him up for high school. So he'll deal with the consequences, and he's been getting up ever since. OK, well, Gail, thank you so much for being on the show today, and sharing so much of your wisdom for the audience.

Really appreciate it. Thank you for having me, John. I've loved it. And I was so pleased with how this episode today went with Gail Swift because it took a completely different direction than I thought it would when we sat out on it. And I'm so glad that we were able to spend so much time on advice that parents can use with their kids,

both through her personal examples and mine. And if you haven't checked out the Colby Index, I will put some links to it in the show notes. I've used it myself and it is a great tool I have found in understanding how you function and more importantly, how you take action, a skill that we need, whether we're an adolescent or an adult. And I did want to highlight some episodes that I think,

if you like today's, you'll like these as well. One is with Derek Hertz, where we talk about how do you create a crazy, perfect life? And similar to Gail, Vera also was living what many would think was a great life being a financial advisor. But then she was diagnosed with breast cancer and her whole life changed. And now she has dedicated her life to speaking, is the author of three books and so much more, a great episode for you to check out. Another one is with Sasuke Lightstar, who was living a party girl life running a software company in South Africa where she too was diagnosed with cancer and then used that experience to write her

book, The Cancer Missed It, about what happens not when you're going through cancer, but after you've gone through it and how you get through that stage, how her life has changed so much because of her focus on self-love and how you too can learn self-love by asking yourself the right questions. And as I said at the beginning of the show, if there is a guest or topic that you would like to hear, please reach out on Instagram at either Passion Start Podcast or John Armiles. And thank you so much for continuing to give us such great ratings. A number of weeks ago we broke through a thousand five star ratings and I can't tell you how important it is to

our show that we get ratings like that in the comments below. We read each one, and they are so important to our future and our goal of making passion go viral for so many out there. Thank you as always, and I appreciate your support so much. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make Passion Go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the Passion Start podcast on Spotify, iTunes,

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