Passion Struck with John R. Miles - How to Ask For Advice (and Make the Most of It) | Momentum Friday EP 68

Episode Date: October 1, 2021

One of the questions John R Miles often gets is how to ask for advice (and make the most of it). Asking for advice the right way is one of the most important skills we can master. It’s an asset that sharpens our instincts, exposes us to guidance, and brings us closer to our goals, abilities, and passion. Like this? Please subscribe, and join me on my new platform for peak performance, life coaching, and personal growth: https://passionstruck.com/. Thank you for listening to the Passion Struck podcast. In this powerful Momentum Friday Episode, John R. Miles discusses his six secrets to asking for advice and why asking for advice the right way is half the battle. The other half is being willing to listen to it. To get meaningful advice, you need to be specific, intentional, and explicit in what you need. Acting on advice means using it to decide the best course of action for yourself. New Interviews with the World’s GREATEST high achievers will be posted every Tuesday with a Momentum Friday inspirational message! Show Notes 0:00 Show Introduction 1:34 Asking for help is hard 2:45 Why people don’t know how to ask for advice 3:20 Understand the advice you are seeking 3:58 Tone of Voice is Vital 4:58 Suppress Your Ego 6:02 Come Prepared When Asking for Advice 7:10 Be Open-Minded 7:51 Choose your advisor wisely 11:10 How do you act on the advice you are given? ENGAGE WITH JOHN R. MILES * Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles * Leave a comment, 5-star rating (please!) * Support me: https://johnrmiles.com * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Johnrmiles.c0m. * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles ABOUT JOHN R. MILES * https://johnrmiles.com/my-story/ * Guides: https://johnrmiles.com/blog/ * Coaching: https://passionstruck.com/coaching/ * Speaking: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking-business-transformation/ * Gear: https://www.zazzle.com/store/passion_struck PASSION STRUCK *Subscribe to Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-passion-struck-podcast/id1553279283 *Website: https://passionstruck.com/ *About: https://passionstruck.com/about-passionstruck-johnrmiles/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/passionstruck *Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/

Welcome to Momentum Friday and episode 68 of the Passion Start podcast. And it's been a while since I've done one of these solo episodes because during the month of September, we used all our episodes to feature veterans who serve during the 20-year war on terror. If you haven't had a chance to check those episodes out, please go back. There's some amazing ones in there. Now, I want to use the opening portion of our session today to highlight our YouTube channel at JohnRMiles. If you're new to the Passion Start Podcast, it is an amazing place to go where we have starter paths consisting of playlists in the areas of overcoming adversity, personal growth and self-improvement,

health and wellness, achieving peak performance, relationships, entrepreneurship and startup growth, as well as our full interviews, these momentum Friday episodes, and all of our mindset moments, which are two to five minute short videos from the different podcasts. And you'll notice when you go to the YouTube page that we have over 180 different videos that you can consume and we've already had 300,000 downloads. Now I'll start today's episode out with a quote from Samuel Taylor College who said, longer it dwells upon and the deeper it sinks into our mind. And that is an incredible setup for my solo episode today that I'm gonna do on how to ask for advice and make the most of it.

Now, let's become passion struck. Today I wanna talk about how do you ask for advice and make the most of it? Let me start today's episode out by asking you a few questions. Do you find seeking help at work or home repulsive? Do you get a feeling of inferiority asking people for advice? If you answered yes to either of those questions, you are not alone. It turns out that the majority of people believe that asking for help actually symbolizes weakness.

They don't wish to feel dumb or seem needy. As author Brunei Brown puts it, we mistakenly fall prey to the myth that successful people are those that help rather than need and broken people need rather than help. Harvard Business School professors David Garvin and Joshua Margulese gave this guidance. The whole interaction is an intricate and subtle art. It requires emotional intelligence, self-awareness, restraint, diplomacy, and patience. But the problem is that most people don't know how to ask for help, especially in this world of help yourself, but it's a fact that sometimes your hard work

and planning and foresight alone just isn't enough. Successful people know how to ask for advice and realize that they need help. Asking for advice is not the problem, especially if you follow these six keys that I'm gonna give you on how do you ask for advice is not the problem, especially if you follow these six keys that I'm going to give you on how do you ask for advice without annoying the person who you were requesting it from? The first key is to understand the end goal of the advice that you are seeking. Why do we ask for advice? There are certainly aspects that we need to take into account when we think about it in order to identify what you are looking for, ask yourself, what is the problem I am trying to solve?

What advice do I seek? Am I looking for counseling, coaching, or mentorship? Because the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one who's not the only one and humble tone. And let me put the emphasis here on being humble. I recently did an entire episode on this titled Why Humility is Vital to Your Success. In fact, it's my most watch video on the YouTube channel. Even if you're in denial, it's important not to argue and not to state that upfront. Instead, have a positive approach towards it. Show your interest in it rather than looking bored. When we use a positive tone of voice, it is a credibility builder. And it's important to realize that being positive is not the same thing as being nice. When we positively express things, it makes the message clearer and it will encourage others to buy into our ideas. This positive approach has always been the foundation for my own personal success.

The third key for asking for advice is to suppress your ego. Don't try to be Mr. or Mrs. know it all. When we are ruled by our ego, we become self-centered, self-righteous, and self-congratulatory. Never assume that you are someone who is so perfect that you leave no room for improvement, especially when you are asking for advice, refrain from criticizing other suggestions, advice, or console just to prove that you are superior. Those who are egotistical fail to learn from their mistakes or the advice that's given to them.

Instead, they tend to defend their ideas and opinions. When we let the ego take over, we fail to be vulnerable, which closes us off from listening to others' views. Don't let personal ambition power status or self-worth drive how you ask for advice. Be sincere when seeking the guidance of others. It's important to understand to only ask for that guidance when you genuinely need it. The fourth key to asking for advice is to come prepared. A common mistake

people often make is that they come empty handed without any plan or research. Consequently, you will end up dragging the conversation by stating random thoughts and deviating from the main problem that you're seeking advice to solve. And what it ends up doing is misleading that advisor that you're going to into giving you misleading or incomplete advice. So it's always important to come prepared, right? Detailed notes on all your issues, and bring forth ideas on your thoughts, on how to solve the problem you are seeking advice on.

This will help the advisor to understand your situation. Ultimately, they will be able to identify your key issues and advise you accordingly. Moreover, they will be able to identify your key issues and advise you accordingly. Moreover, even during a conversation, I highly recommend you grab your notepad or your ipad or whatever you use for notepad and jot down the essential points. It will show your willingness and also your seriousness to achieve your goals and help you carry them out. The fifth key to seeking advice is to be open-minded. It is very likely that the advisor will surprise you

with new and exciting ideas. Probably some unexpected things that you weren't ready to hear. It might even be something that you didn't want to hear. Even if it confuses you or displeases you, you must have an open-minded approach to it. Your brain might show you red lights. After seeing something that challenged, you're assumed well-thought, perfect idea. So you must have an open mind and be open to new ideas and self-improvement. The sixth key to getting advice is to choose your advisor carefully. Finding that right person for advice is without a doubt

the most crucial step. People tend to ask for advice from people close to them and the people they can most easily open up to. But seeking advice is not a transactional thing. You should not look for a person who you are just comfortable talking to. In fact, that may be the worst thing you can do. What I suggest you do is find someone in the particular field where your problem exists, who is capable enough to help you eradicate your core issues. And don't just go around asking everyone for advice. That will only end up confusing you. It will make you indecisive about who to listen to, and also

who not to. And if you go to that huge group of people for advice, and then don't act on it, people might start to think that you're being disrespectful for not working on the things that they suggest to you. You also must be willing to notice whether the person you're going to for advice is serious and really willing to help you with it. If not, then it's better to not listen to them and never forget to be grateful to your advisor because they are sparing much of their valuable time to hear you out and help you. And so if you are using that time for personal gain only, that's not being kind to them. It's showmanship.

And they aren't there to hear you speak on for hours and hours. So jump directly to the point. Keep your ask precise. And another great piece of advice is don't do it through a phone call. If you can possibly do it, do that meeting face to face. That is because most people don't have the time to go through their emails or their messages or chats. That probably have long detailed paragraphs about the topic you're seeking advice for. If possible, it is always best, as I said before,

to meet the person face to face, have a proper conversation. Be specific about what advice you are seeking and let them know all the different aspects of how you have examined the situation yourself, so it can give them more background. Did you know that Forbes Magazine recently cited that 70% of individuals who do personal development masterminds and one-on-one coaching benefited from better work performance,

increased communication skills, and overall better relationships? And we at PassionStruck are obsessed with self-development, coaching, and mentorship. That is why we've created a free resource to help you unlock your hidden potential. Because people doing great things in business and life are just like you, only they've had a coach along the way. And we've got that covered too.

Let us show you the systems and frameworks that we teach, both minded individuals to help them step into their sharp edges, execute on their passion journeys and get predictable results time and time again. Go to passionstruck.com slash coaching right now and let's get igniting. So now that I've given you those six keys, how do you act on this advice and make the most of it? As we all know, a piece of advice has no meaning if you don't act on it.

It follows the idea that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink it. Meaning, at the end of the day, it depends on you and how you put that advice into practice. If you don't do anything about it, no matter how good that advice was, it's not going to do anything for you. You can turn an excellent bit of advice to dust or mold or a bad one into gold. So my guidance is to treat the advice that you were given

as your number one priority. Put it into action, test its potential, and explore each aspect of it. See what works and be prepared to make adjustments accordingly. And with each step that you take, I think it's vital that you go back to that advisor and give them the progress that you're making. It will help hold you accountable and also give you the ability to ask for more advice

if it's needed. But also remember, don't ask for advice when validation is all that you seek. As Cicero said, nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. And I hope today's episode was enlightening for you or gave you some guidance on our core topic today. And if there are other topics that you would like to hear my advice on or a person who you would like to see me interview on the show, I've gotten a bunch recently.

Please DM me on Instagram at John Armiles. I will do my best to get them on their show. Thank you, as always, for helping us with our mission to spread positivity and make passion grow worldwide. It means so much that you're here today, and thank you so much for your support. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make passion go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the Passion Start Podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to your podcast ad. And if you absolutely love this episode, we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes, and you sharing it with three of your most

growth-minded friends so they can post it as well to their social accounts and help us grow our passion start community. If you'd like to learn more about the show and our mission, you can go to passionstruck.com where you can sign up for our newsletter, look at our tools, and also download the show notes for today's episode. Additionally, you can listen to us every Tuesday and Friday for even more inspiring content. And remember, make a choice, work hard, and step into your sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us. you