Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Jaime Bronstein on How to Manifest the Love of Your Life EP 251

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

Are you sick and weary of being single? Are you prepared to overcome obstacles, claim power, and let go of your old baggage? If so, our guest today Jaime Bronstein, who Yahoo Finance recognized as "The Number One Relationship Coach Transforming Lives," is here to teach you how to manifest the love of your life. Jaime is the author of the new book which launches today, "MAN*ifesting: A Step-By-Step Guide to Attracting the Love That is Meant For You." Jaime Bronstein discusses how to manifest the love of your life. Jaime, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach with over 20 years of experience, shares her expertise and real-life examples from her work and personal journey to help our listeners overcome blocks and find the love and life they desire. This episode showcases Jaime's proven techniques and blend of psychological and spiritual tools that guide readers to their authentic selves and the love of their life. Get ready to learn the lost art of manifestation through an immersive and insightful experience. Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://passionstruck.com/jaime-bronstein-manifest-the-love-of-your-life/  Brought to you by Shopify, Green Chef, and Indeed. --► For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to: https://passionstruck.com/deals/  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally! --► Prefer to watch this interview:  https://youtu.be/5BC3-rTBJUE  --► Subscribe to Our YouTube Channel Here: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles Want to find your purpose in life? I provide my six simple steps to achieving it - passionstruck.com/5-simple-steps-to-find-your-passion-in-life/ Want to hear my best interviews from 2022? Check out episode 233 on intentional greatness and episode 234 on intentional behavior change. ===== FOLLOW ON THE SOCIALS ===== * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnrmiles.c0m  Learn more about John: https://johnrmiles.com/ 

Coming up next on the Passion Stork Podcast, we can't control what's going to happen in our lives necessarily. However, we can control how we relate to it. We have a choice. So the issue isn't the issue, but how we relate to the issue is the issue. And life happens for us, not to us, meaning that everything that happens in our life happens for our growth and upliftment and our learning and for us to get closer to ourselves versus life happening to somebody is victim mode. Welcome to PassionStruct. Hi, I'm your host, John Armeils, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice

for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guest-ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Episode 251 of PassionStruck.

Recently, wearing an interview valet is a number three podcast, for mindset, and the number four for conversation. And thank you to each and every one of you come back weekly. But listen and learn, how to live better, be better, and impact the world. And if you're new to the show, thank you so much for being here.

Or you simply wanna introduce this, friends or family members. We now have episodes starter packs, which are collections of our fans. Favorite episodes that we organize in convenient topics that give any new listener a great way to get acquainted to everything we do here on the show. Either go to Spotify or PassionStruct.com slash starter packs to get started. I also wanted to thank you for your continued support of the show and your ratings and reviews. You don't know how much they help impact the popularity of

the show and more importantly bringing more people into the PassionStruct community. And I know we and our guests love to hear comments from our listeners. Now let's talk about today's episode. Are you sick and weary of being single? Are you prepared to overcome your obstacles, claim your power, and let go of your baggage? If so, our guest today, Jamie Bronstein,

who is recognized by Yahoo Finance as the number one relationship coach transforming lives, is here to let you know that you're not alone and that you can and will find the appropriate partner. You will learn how to remove the dating personas based on fear that have been holding you back. We unpack how to connect with and develop your intuition or inner compass so that you can begin to trust yourself and live a life free of regret and poor choices. She discloses the final element, retracting the love you deserve,

the ideal person for you, not just any person. We will also go into how you can recover your real self, the self you were born as before life and difficult relationships got in the way. Jamie will help you to discover your inner resources to change your lens of perception, to spell self-defeating beliefs and adjust your lens of vision.

Jamie Bronstein is a licensed therapist, relationship coach, and author of the new book Manifesting, which releases today a step-by-step guide to attracting the love that is meant for you. Jamie works on Zoom and in-person with singles couples and people navigating breakups and divorces. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am ecstatic today to welcome Jamie Bronstine to the PassionStruck podcast. Welcome, Jamie. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.

Well, and I wanted to just throw out a huge congratulations to you on manifesting your brand new book, a step-by-step guide to attracting the love that is meant for you. Congratulations. Thank you so much. It's been a journey as we were just talking about before the show. And congratulations on your book. However, I'm just so grateful to be here.

It was a year ago that I got this publishing deal and now February 7th, it's getting published. So it's very exciting. We all have defining moments or periods in our lives who shape who we become. And in your case, you didn't end up meeting your husband until you were 34 and you didn't get married until you were 37, which as a professional

relationship therapist, you must have been wondering what was occurring. And I wanted to ask, why was it taking you so long to find the person that you were meant to be with? Well, I believe the reason, which I'll say in a second, is literally what I teach in my book, which is that I wasn't going to settle. I wasn't in a hurry to just marry any man. I wanted to marry a man that fulfilled not every single thing that I was looking for. However, life is short, and I wanted to be happy. And so I had tons of boyfriends before my husband.

And until it felt right, I wasn't going to just settle. So I believe that I just hadn't met the right guy yet. And that's what I teach in my book. To really, one of my greatest messages will probably get more into this later, but really is your intuition and trusting yourself and Trusting the universe and knowing that when you have an intention for something That it will happen you'll happen in divine timing need to be patient

And how did you end up meeting Brian and what can others learn from your story? So I wish we had this I'm such a romantic romantic, my, I'm a Pisces, my birthdays and march. I wish we had some amazing random romantic story, but it is kind of simple because we met through match.com in 2011. It was before the apps, there weren't even dating apps yet. It was the, it was a website, just the website match.com. And also a unique thing about it is that I reached out to him, which I always encourage my female clients to reach out.

You don't have to wait for the guy to reach out to you. The truth is he hadn't been aware of my profile, and so if I hadn't reached out, then maybe we wouldn't have met. So we met on match.com. So big fan, do the dating apps, because you never know. Well, it's interesting. I used to work with a gentleman named Will Garden Swartz, and Will was a student at Stanford,

and he was in one of his classes, and he was bored out of his mind, and he started thinking about how could I possibly meet someone? And so he ended up coming up with this algorithm for how he could find his personal match. And match.com ended up licensing his patent off of him for how they match their clients. Plus a couple other dating sites.

So he started match.com as what you're saying. He didn't start it, but they licensed his patent that he had on the algorithm, which drives their matching balls and process. So he gets paid by these different dating apps that use his patent, or at least he used to. Well, I should have him on my show and thank him. Well, I know a lot of people, myself included, read the thought of being on

dating apps and meeting someone that way. What is your advice to the clients that you work with on their use? Well, I think that it's a wonderful and positive thing that I always looked at at dating as fun and hopeful and exciting because I'm the one that's teaching it versus who a coach or a therapist who maybe didn't or doesn't have the most positive experience. Because to me, like I said, it really was always fun. It was an evening activity to go online

and I was full of hope. And so my advice is once again, to just trust it's a numbers game, it's going to happen. If you put the effort in, it can't not happen. If that's what your soul desires and it is your birthright for it to happen, you have a soulmate out there,

if you're birthright to have love, then it's all about your attitude. I'm a big fan of not just thinking, like buzzword, positive thinking. I can't really think yourself into things. You need to feel and know. And that's also what I talk about on my book. Believing it's going to happen, knowing it's going to happen,

visualizing it happening, living as if it's already happening. So these are all these concepts that I teach, which are a little deeper, but on a more service level with the apps. It's about confidence, just loving yourself, having no attachment to the outcome, going into dates, saying, if it's not this one,

it will be someone else. Just gotta trust. Okay, and I always loved to ask authors this question, how did you come up with the title for your book, Manifesting? So at first, it was called something different. I started this journey probably four to five years ago. I'm very fascinated by how ideals come to us and where they come from is fascinating to me.

When I first tried to figure out what my title was going to be, I was trying. And then one day, I really don't remember. I was either driving or I was in the shower. I don't remember. But it came to me. And the thing about ideas is that if you don't utilize your idea, it will go to somebody else. So, I mean, I was so excited about my idea and I was thinking, how has nobody ever done this before me?

And I wanted to publish it the next day, but it had to be a process. I'm like, is somebody going to publish it before me? So, it just came to me. And even though my book, Man of Hosting, it's a play on the words, Man, how to manifest a man. However, all of my concepts, you can use these manifesting concepts to manifest a job and anything. They're all just manifesting concepts.

I was just using my personal stories and I think it's quite a unique name and title. Yeah, it's a great cover of the book. So whoever did your design did a great job on that. Well, it was kind of me actually. They and we can talk about this later, but actually the publishing house, which now you are part of also a postal press, I actually decided that I was going to hire my own designer because I am very particular and I wanted to have a little control over the process. Well, I think we're a little bit similar in that regard, although I'm trying not to put anything out there, so what I get back will be things that I'm not even thinking of and then we can go from there. I wanted to jump into manifesting and in your

introduction you describe a client that you had and I know a lot of person like your client are searching for the one. But what happens when we dictate that our love story has to look a certain way like your client was trying to do? Yes, so this is what I was saying before which is having no attachment to the outcome and also not being laser focused I talk about that a lot in my book when somebody is laser focused and it has to be this and nothing else the universe doesn't love that because it's more of a desperation energy. But when you open yourself up and you say this or something better for the highest good of all concerned

and you really know that to be true, then what actually is supposed to come forward for your highest good and that is most aligned with your soul and the flow of life, you can allow that to happen. This desperation energy, this, I need this to happen energy. I want, it's more like I want this to happen because what I believe is that the universe gives us what we need and that is certainly what we want. So to trust that what we need will come forth if we're not to have too much of a tight grip on anything. Okay, and I know a lot of us end up getting stuck in our own patterns. How did you determine

how to bulldoze through that muck that was keeping you stuck and holding you back from finding the love that you wanted? Yes, and for instance, this is I think one of the reasons why I did make it more specific for with my story and dating guys. And I don't know if guys can relate to this, but maybe they can. One of the things that I kept doing was I just had all these misbeliefs about one of the things that I talk about is I was such a romantic an am such a romantic that I would believe that a late night call from a guy that I had a situation to chip with would mean that we would bond where we saw each other late night and he'd just fall in love with me that way. So, because I just was so confident that I was like, I will just woo him.

I'll just love spending time with me when in reality situations, really, they're not proper dating and they don't really change. That's not a mature man that's just gonna have a the situation ship and not take me out and date and stuff. So, of course, I had boyfriends and I had those proper days, but I also had a lot of these situations where it took me a while to learn. I always thought, well, I'm going to be the different one.

I'm going to be the girl that changes these guys. And so it was a lot of journeying and modeling. Well, I don't think it's just females who do this. I have lots of male friends who end up over analyzing and trying to perfect what they want this relationship to look like. And I'm jumping ahead, but I know one of the things that you talk about in the book is non-negotiables. And I have this friend of mine who, as I see it, doesn't look at himself in the mirror to understand his own faults, but puts this list of non-negotiables on the table that he's looking for that almost no one on the planet is going to be able to meet, yet he doesn't want to see his own faults and understand that other people might have non-negotiables. So if you're stuck in this situation where

you're trying to find this perfect match and have all these non-negotiables, is there a certain amount that you should have and is it overkill if you're trying to do too many? Well, ironically enough, or synchronistically enough, I love that you just use the word certain because I do have an acronym for non-negotiables, and it's C-E-R-T for certain. So, you want to feel comfortable. This is just an example of non-negotiable. You want to feel comfortable with the person. You want them to have display empathy. You want to feel empathy towards them. R is for respect. You want to have respect. And then T is for trust. And in terms of the number of non-negotiables, of non-negotiables. Three is ideal. Sometimes I allow my clients to have five, but really three. Like, and they need to be big. For instance, alignment in religious beliefs, if that's important to you. Alignments in lifestyle. Someone who is not judgmental. Someone who is not a homebody or someone who is a homebody. So everybody is so unique.

And so that's why I encourage people to really sit down and think, what are these things that they like can't not have? And then after that, like if they have those three to five, that's big. Because no one is perfect. But those three to five, that's big. Because no one is perfect. But those three to five things need to be those sacred yeses inside. Things that will make your heart feel at peace. Yeah, I think it's interesting how many people go into living together or even going to marriages without really answering some of the most difficult questions.

Some of the ones you brought up, but also finances and other things that really need to be thought about, even long-term where you want to live or not live and how that will represent itself as you grow as a couple. Yes, I love that you just brought up finances. I've been doing this for 20 years and what I've seen also being alive for over 40 years, let's say, I'm 45. And yeah, just living and professionally being a therapist and a coach. Financial issues, I have to say is I think the number one problem in relationships. And so as hard as it is to an uncomfortable it might be and vulnerable, it's really important to have these conversations before you get married. And it doesn't mean you're a superficial person.

There are deeper meanings and deeper reasons why people look at money the way that they do. Some people look at it as security. I mean, a lot of people do. Some people look at it as security. I mean, a lot of people do. Some people look at it just as I want money to have money. So it's a psychological spiritual thing. It's not just a surface thing. Yeah, I happened to interview a number of months ago,

another therapist who lives in Los Angeles, Abby Medcalf, not sure if you know her, but I asked her what she thought was the number one issue. And typically she said people will bring up finances, but she said, I think there's something underlying that is even more degrading. And that is jealousy. And that one of the partners ends up for one reason or another getting jealous about the other.

Whether it's one making more than they are or one staying at home and the other person is working or whatever it may be. But do you think that also plays into things? Yeah, I think that underlying jealousy is this feeling of not unconditionally loving yourself. I think confidence is more of a the service word, but it's really not unconditionally loving yourself. I think confidence is more of the service word, but it's really about unconditionally loving yourself. And that's what I teach also because when we unconditionally love ourselves, we are showing up authentically.

We are not feeling insecure and we're trusting once again, we're trusting ourselves, we're trusting life. And I believe that someone who is unconditionally loving themselves would not, they've resolved their unresolved issues. And so they wouldn't be insecure. So that problem would not be around. So when it is around, it's because there are unresolved issues,

whether it's from your childhood, past relationships, something a parent said to you, something that somebody said to you in the sandbox in kindergarten. And what I do is I help people with these stories, these negative narratives or limiting beliefs, whether it's, I'm not worthy of love, I'm not capable of love, I can't trust,

and we do compassionate self forgiveness, which is a series of statements where you say, you put your hand in your heart, I forgive myself for banging to the misbelief that I'm not worthy of love. What is the truth? I am worthy of love. And my clients do this with their eyes closed

and they're really, really connecting with themselves with the truth. And so it helps, that's one of the things that I do with people to help them heal and to help them know the truth about themselves versus what society, the world, somebody in seventh grade said to them. So it's almost similar to overcoming a stuck point if you're going through cognitive process and therapy, for instance.

Yeah. It's also, sometimes I, it's not a joke, but I can relate it to. It's like going to any type of like, alcolex anonymous, any type of thing where you say, I'm admitting there's a problem. You have to see that there's a problem first in order to fix it and change it and shift it. Yeah, it's interesting. I recorded an episode last week, episode 241 for the listeners on the value of pain for our growth.

And I believe that we all experience pain and healing from it is an integral part of our experience in our growth. And in the book, you write that if you want to heal, you must change your story. And what I wanted to ask you is, how do you recover your real self? Well, part of that is what I was just talking about. It's rewiring your brain. It's changing the stories that you're telling yourself. And just like alcohol, because the first step is really awareness, starkening aware of these negative things that you're telling yourself all the time, all day long. And the reason why we as humans have this epidemic is it's our ego, it's our mind.

And our mind all it does is it likes to spew out lies and fear-based thoughts. And so you need to have a talk, you need to drop from your head into your heart. Your head is your mind, your ego. Your heart is your truth, your authentic self, your soul, you, your core. So you need to say to your ego, take a step back, sit in the driver's seat. I'm the driver of this bus, meaning your heart, your soul right here. I'm pointing for

the people that are watching. This is, I got this. I know you're trying to keep me safe because that's what the ego does. By telling you you're not worthy of love, well, it keeps you safe from getting rejected, from putting yourself out there. Or the story is, I need to lose weight. I'm not skinny enough. You can't get hurt if you don't put yourself out there. So once again, that gets back to the loving yourself unconditionally. Either stay where you are.

If it's a health reason, you want to lose weight, do that. Or just love yourself the way that you are and trust that's a health reason, you want to lose weight, do that, or just love yourself the way that you are and trust that your match is out there regardless. All about loving yourself and knowing the truth about yourself and your worthiness. This is the Passion Struct Podcast with our guest, Jamie Brownstein. We'll be right back. This episode is sponsored in part by Shopify. Hear that little chitching. That's the sound of another sale on Shopify. And the moment another business dream becomes reality. Whether you're selling vintage clothing,

fresh roasted coffee, stylish footwear, or the newest skin care line, Shopify simplifies selling online, and in person, so you can focus on successfully growing your business. And it's packed with industry leading tools ready to ignite your growth, giving you complete control over your business. And it's packed with industry leading tools ready to ignite your growth, giving you complete control over your business and brand without having to learn any new designer coding skills. I remember when I started my own business how crucial it was to find trusted partners like Shopify who is there to empower you with the confidence and control to take your business to the next level, giving mere mortals like you or me the resources once reserved for big businesses. And thanks to 24 by 7 help and an extensive business course library, Shopify

is there to support your success every step of the way. Now it is your turn to get serious about selling and try Shopify today. This is possibility powered by Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash passion struck all lowercase go to Shopify.com slash passion struck to take your business to the next level today shopify.com slash passion struck. Thank you so much for listening to the show. I love hearing from all of you and I love the fact that you have all been great to our sponsors because they are the ones that keep the show going as well. You can check out all the sponsors at passionstruck.com slash deals. You'll find all the codes and URLs,

all the things are there. So please consider supporting those who support the show. Now back to my conversation with Jamie Bronstein. The passion strike podcast is all about behavioral change and the importance of our daily choices and achieving our long-term aspirations and ultimately creating an intentional life. Why is it that we all have the power in every moment to select the frequency we wish to vibrate and manifest at? That is because we always have a choice. We can't control what's going to happen in our lives necessarily. However, we can control how we relate to it. We have a choice. So the issue isn't the issue, but how we relate to the issue is the issue. And life

happens for us, not to us, meaning that everything that happens in our life happens for our growth and upliftment and our learning and for us, not to us, meaning that everything that happens in our life happens for our growth and upliftment and our learning and for us to get closer to ourselves versus life happening to somebody is victim mode. So we always have a choice. Am I going to stay here in victim mode? Or am I going to do something about it? And I was watching a beautiful, are you familiar with Caroline Mees? Yes. So last night I was looking on Instagram

and a video of hers happened to come into my feed or all of it's called. And she was talking about this exact thing. She said, you're alive today. That's a blessing. And it's a way to stay present. It's and it's this as humans is really hard to do this, but when you're living in the past, first of all, she wasn't saying this, I'm saying this, when you're living in the past,

that's depression. When you're living in the future, that's anxiety. So she was just talking about being grateful for the moment and being grateful that you're alive. That's a choice She was just talking about being grateful for the moment and being grateful that you're alive. That's a choice. Versus looking at everything as doomsday because our energy is really important because we're constantly manifesting. So if we are walking around and everything's doomsday, we will literally keep manifesting experiences of people, situations in our life that will

just validate that everything sucks. But if we walk around and we say, I'm grateful to be alive first of all. Thank you, God. Thank you, universe. I'm healthy. Even if you're not healthy, I will be healthy. I see it. Whatever your journey is. And I see things happening for me. And I see things happening for me and I see things coming my way that are beautiful, peaceful things. And I also am going to take action to manifest these certain things that I want to manifest. And then at the end of the day, you surrender. And you say, and then universe, I give it up to you to take care of the rest. Well, I happen to agree with you that I think the current environment we find ourselves in and our presence in it has such an important effect on manifesting anything we want, whether it's love, career, success, just relationships in general, our health, you name it. It's interesting that you brought all that up because I think we all have an innate ability,

given the choices that we make to either stay in that environment that we're allowing ourselves to be in, or changing it based on what we want our future self to be. And it's interesting. I recently did an interview with Dr. Benjamin Hardy and he wrote a book on the psychology of the future self. And one of the things that I thought was really interesting about it is he said, our present self is measured more by our future self than it is by our past self. And I think so many of us get caught up in looking at the past. And we're not manifesting the future that we want to live. And all that. I go on. had Rachel Hollis on the show and Rachel had brought Ben on her show because as you probably

know, she had gone through a difficult period in her life and was trying to manifest a different future that she wanted. And so she used the psychology of future self to look at the setbacks that she had as huge learning opportunities for what she didn't want her future self to have and manifested a different way that she was gonna approach it, which I think are many of the things that you talk about throughout the whole book.

Yes, absolutely. We need to live as if, and I mentioned that briefly before, living as if means that you're live as if, and I mentioned that briefly before, living as if means that you're living as if it's already happening. However, you want to be showing up, whether this is a confidence thing, I tell my clients that want to work on their confidence, they say, fake it till you make it. It's another way of saying living as if, because the world is going to respond to you if you are already that person that you see yourself as

But you actually already are inside you don't have to become more or less of anything It's already you it's getting past the barriers like negative narratives that are in the way limiting beliefs on resolve issues So living as if show up in life as that person show up in life with more of a hopeful show up in life with more of a hopeful attitude. But you've got to change that inside in order for the outside to reflect that. And yeah, I love this concept, because we as humans, we also have this negativity bias, which goes so much hand in hand with being depressed

because of the past, this negativity bias versus what if things actually aren't gonna work out for you? What if you can be the hero of your own story? What if there's gonna be a happy ending? What if? And that is available for everybody. It's just a matter of us believing it and knowing that. Or if you don't, you're life will either stay the same

wherever you are or could get worse. So why not think. But what if it is going to be incredible? I know it's going to be incredible. Well, it's great that you brought those things up because if you do research on. The science of what causes us to be stuck, two things typically come up. And one of those is negative thinking patterns as you just brought up. And the other thing that goes hand in hand with it are the habits that we allow ourselves to undertake. And they really do go hand in hand because as you just pointed out, if you've got these

negative thinking patterns that are going on, they're going to lead to the habits that you've pertaken every single day. I love that you're bringing up habits also because part of growth and upliftment and change is changing things up. Even if you drive a different route to get somewhere, you wear different clothes, eat different foods. There is something very spiritual and psychological about changing habits. And once you do something for 33 days, it becomes normal.

Like, they're just studies that have been done. Do something for 33 days. And then it doesn't feel uncomfortable or different anymore. It just is what it is. I love building healthy habits. It's the one of the absolute keys to creating behavioral change and creating a difference in the life that you want. So it's that innate ability for us to really be focused and intentional about how we want those habits to manifest themselves as we'll talk about more here in a second. But I also wanted to add a tool

that people can use in terms of living as if and visualizing. It's called an ideal scene. If you get a piece of paper and you put, I am in the middle with a heart around it. And then you make sentences all around that heart, whatever you want to manifest. So let's say you want to manifest love. So in my book, one of the sentences would be, I am so grateful that I found a man who loves me and sees me for everything that I am. I am so happy that my man and I are living a life full of abundance.

Whatever you want to manifest, do you put those sentences all the way around the heart, like spokes of a wheel? And you make a title for it. This is my ideal scene for whatever it is. And ideal scenes happen. They come true. So just morning you, be as specific as possible, but also it's just funny because

sometimes people when they meet their person and they're so happy because ideal scenes work, they'll say, wow, if I had known that they really do come true, I would have had it more self or something like that in a cute way, but they really, that's a good way to live as a, because it's, as if it's happening now. Well, you're living that way. How do you connect with and develop your intuition or inner compass so that you begin to trust yourself and live a life free of regret and poor choices? Yeah. So to me, trusting your intuition, trusting yourself, all it means is that you are connected with yourself. It means that you already know the answer, you don't have to ask a

million people. And when we are connected with ourselves and we are connected with our intuition, I believe that you will never have a regret ever again in your life. Because the reason why we have regrets is because we made choices out of fear versus out of love. We made choices based on anything else, but what we felt in our heart and our soul was right for us. So you are getting connected with your intuition, which I teach you how to do. It's just like a muscle. Some of us have naturally a stronger one.

Some of us need to practice a little bit more. But in my book and in my teachings, I website, my Instagram, I show, if you want to work with me, one-on-one, this is my favorite thing to teach people because it's the most life-changing aspects in the world when it comes to manifesting and just living a peaceful, happy life. And what's the first step if a listener was out there and they wanted to do more to develop

their intuition that you would recommend. So I just mentioned making choices out of fear versus love. In life, all there is is fear and love. Everything, fear or love, every choice, every word, every action, everything is fear or love. So I would say the first step is to focus and to ask yourself, what is the fearful choice? What is the loving choice? I kid about this, but even when you start practicing your intuition, when you're at a restaurant,

and you're thinking, what should I order? And you're asking the waiter or waitress, you're asking everybody at the table, what they're getting. You know what? You know what you want. It's just a matter of just taking a moment and asking yourself what you really want. And this is also a fear love thing. Well, if I get the cheeseburger, that's what I really want. But I should probably get the salad. Well, the loving choice is the cheeseburger. Because that's what you really want. The salad is the fearful choice. This is just a silly example. But also with asking someone else what they think you should get, what's the best thing on the menu,

what someone else is going to be their favorite thing is not going to be your favorite thing. That's also why my client sometimes a new client, because my regular clients already know this, but a new client will come and they'll say, I need advice. What should I do? I think I learned this second day of graduate school, I was shocked that a therapist is actually not supposed to give advice. The reason is because you want to empower your clients to get connected with themselves to

make their own decision. I help them get there. But what I would do is a complete different person than you. So this is all that goes back to intuition. Getting really connected with yourself. And one exercise that I have my clients do is seem simple, but it's really impactful is make a list of 10 items and they're I am items. So I am smart, I am funny, I am attractive. Whatever the 10 list is, and look at it before you go to sleep at night,

and ask the universe to help you know this about yourself, to help you connect with yourself, little by little, you'll see your life starting to change because you will feel more connected with yourself. When you go to the restaurant, when you're on a date, when you're choosing which facial soap to buy, whatever, everything in life. When you're choosing, is this a yes or no?

Do I say yes to this? Do I say no to this? The answer's always there. To me, this stuff is, well, I'm smiling, for whoever's not watching, but I'm smiling because this is the answer to life, getting in touch with yourself. What absolutely is and along those lines, what is the golden ticket or secret then if you

have these fears defining your partner. So getting back to resolving unresolved issues, changing the negative narratives, showing off authentically, loving yourself unconditionally, believing, trusting, visualizing and knowing that it's going to happen. And these are all I go way more in depth in my book. And etc. But really it's all of those things. And you can't once again, you can't just think yourself. Like think positively. You need to feel it and know it and see it happening. And once again, you say to the fear, I see you, I hear you, I'm human. I know you're not going anywhere, you're just trying to keep me safe. Take a seat. Take a seat. I'm driving this bus. I am the driver. Thank you for showing up. You just enjoy the ride, whatever. And thank you for trying to protect me, but I got this. Well, it's interesting. I loved in your book that you use personas,

and I interviewed this gentleman, Kurt Wilken, who used them in his book, Who's Your Mike, and it was the personas that you meet on your entrepreneurial journey. And Mike is one of them, but he had doubtful, Betty, dependable, Debbie, and a list of other ones, but it was great because once you understood the personas, you could really work through them. And I wanted to ask you, what are the seven dating personas that you lay out? Well, I don't want to go through all of them because I want to keep some of them a little like teas or secret, not secret, but I just, I want people to get excited about the book. I mentioned a few.

They're more of an end up explanation, but one of them is the chameleon. So this is a dating persona. This is the chameleon. This is that person that just anybody they start dating, they change for. Now, what we were just talking about, when you are connected with yourself, you don't need to be changing out of anything. You're just knowing that person is going to love you for who you are. So, the chameleon is somebody who really needs to work on staying true to themselves.

And if that person that they're dating doesn't like that, then that's not their person, and to know that, and to feel empowered with that. Another one is the repeater. This is very common. This is the person who dates the same person every time. Every time they have a new significant other, it's basically the same person, but different name, different clothes. You were talking about someone before the show.

You were giving an example of somebody who isn't really looking at themselves to see, well, maybe I'm the common denominator. So the repeater is, she keeps stating a guy that she eats on her. Okay. And maybe that's because she's not trusting herself, not knowing her worth. Maybe she's constantly saying to the guy,

oh, I've been cheated on, so it becomes a self-affilling prophecy. That's just an example. But it's that repeater. Instead of healing and changing the course of the rest of your life and saying, I have acknowledged this is going on, I want to show up more confidently next time. I'm going to do the healing work before I meet the next guy. So those are two. If you want more, I can give you more. But those are two. No, as a follow-on, I was going to just ask, why is it important if you want to have a strong relationship not to be the settler, or someone who tries to convince themselves that they've met the right person, even though they know deep down that they're the wrong person?

Yeah, I always say if you have to talk yourself into or out of something, it's a no. If it's not a how he asks it's a how-no. This goes back to you asking me why I didn't just settle and get married younger and I didn't mean my husband tells 34 because ultimately we want to be happy. The problem is that I think that so many people don't even know that really what they're looking for exists, because maybe they've never had it. They've never really fallen off yet, or they don't think it's for them.

I'll just plug a little bit of a documentary. I've been interviewing couples, and I would love to make a documentary at some point and put it all together and to show people that what it in quotes looks like because I think people settle also because they don't know that there really are relationships that are filled with joy and fun, not perfect, but they're really right for each other. I would say it's some advice. This isn't like therapeutic advice, but this is just like statement advice. Ask yourself, if you're dating somebody you're not sure, ask yourself, for instance, like if somebody said, oh, of course, Debbie and Daniel, of course,

they're supposed to be together, they make sense. If you see that with you and whoever you're with, then that helps you to know, like, does this feel like home? You don't want to settle. You want to feel at home. And when I say at home, that can mean different things to different people. But it's an overall sense of this feels right, basically. Well, and a follow-on question to that is, how does imposter syndrome get in the way of us finding the relationship that we desire? Imposter syndrome means that you're feeling like you're not worthy or you can't believe that this person actually loves you when indeed you are worthy of love. And so you don't want to be showing up surprised that someone's loving you or they must not really know

who I really am. Nobody's an imposter. You just need to show up as you and the right person is going to love you for who you are. When you are showing up as fear, that's the real imposter. Versus showing up as love, that's the you. You're absolutely right. And one of the things I talk about a lot on the show is the power of perception. And that by changing your perception, you can change so many things that are going on in your life. How through changing your lens of perception, can you dispel self-defeating beliefs

and adjust your lens of vision? Yes, changing your lens of perception, how you see things, it makes such a difference. And this kind of goes back to shifting your negative narratives and your limiting beliefs. But it's also a little bit more of an umbrella. What is your perception of something that just happened in your life?

And this kind of goes back to also how you relate to the issue is the issue. It's a choice of how you look at things. There's an author, David Singer, on Tyler's all. Have you heard of that book? Yep. So things are going to happen in our life.

But it's what, if we attach an emotion to it, that's what keeps us stuck. That's what engraves in us a perception. But when we make that choice to say, I'm going to let this pass through, not that I'm going to ignore the emotion, I'll feel the emotion, and let it pass through, that can help you to change your whole perception of to change your whole perception of from this is the worst thing in the whole world to okay, this happened. What am I going to do about it now? I'm going to heal and then let it pass through and move on with my life and then getting back to that future bias versus past bias.

Wow, being present is the key. You want to be moving forward while being present. That should be the title my next book. Move forward while being present. It's a tricky one, but it's available for all of us. The book and... Yeah, that's kind of like that saying, the things that we resist persist,

which is so important when for us to not forget the beauty of surrender, especially when we're trying to manifest something into our life. Yes, and acceptance, acceptance of the past, accepting it versus resisting it or wishing that it didn't happen. Because really, there's nothing we can do about it. We can't do anything about what happened's nothing we can do about it. We can't do anything about what happened, but we can do something about changing that stockness. It's called a crystallized energy. It's called a samsqara in a certain language of mantra. But anyhow, that samsqara,

chiseling away at that crystallized energy and saying, I want to be free from this. I want to be free from my past. I want to be free from the jail that I'm putting myself in because there's so much richness and beauty in life that is waiting for me. Well, and Jamie, I'd love to end on this question. If a reader picked up manifesting, what would be the things that you would most want them to take away from the book? I want them to feel empowered. I want them to feel that they're not a victim, that they do have a choice and they can take action with all the tools and the exercises that I provide. I want them to know that there is a happy ending waiting for them. It's just a matter of figuring out what that missing piece is, which I provide tools to help you

figure out what that missing piece is. And I would say the overall the missing pieces are either doing the same thing over and over again, not healing on resolved issues, and also not being in touch with your integrity and your intuition. So once you do all that stuff and you go on this journey, there's nothing that's going to hold you back from you and the rest of your life and your person. I really just want people to know that it is your birth, right, to have love in your life, not just any love, but the right love for you. And I'm just so excited for anybody who's going to be going on this journey. Well, that's great. And if someone would like to know more about you or potentially reach out to you to be a client, where's the

best place for them to find all things, Jamie? Yes. So my website is straightforward. It's very easy. It's the relationship.uxper.com. My Instagram and all my information is on there. My Instagram is at the relationship expert, but there's no e at the beginning of experts. So it's at the relationship letter x p r t. My weekly show is called Love Talk Live on L.I.T.O.K. Radio. All the information is there. I'm also going to be giving you a link to Seven Days of Manifesting Love. It's a free gift so they can, in your show notes, you can put that there if you'd like. And my book, however, regardless if you go to manifestyourperson.com or manifestinyourperson.com Or just head on over to Amazon,

put Jamie Brownstein, J-A-I-M-E-B-R-O-N-S-T-E-I-N, Man of Fasting, the book will show up, and put all this information on my website and Instagram. Okay, well Jamie, thank you so much for being on the show today. It was such an honor to have you and congratulations again on this great book. Thank you so much for being on the show today. It was such an honor to have you and congratulations again on this great book. Thank you.

Thank you so much for asking me to do the show and congratulations on all of the work that you are doing and your podcast and you changing life's also. Well, thank you very much for that. Thank you. I thoroughly enjoyed that interview with Jamie Bronstine and I wanted to thank Jamie, Hostel Press, Jessica Reda, for the honor of interviewing her.

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