Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Jamie Kern Lima on the Power of Believing You Are Worthy EP 418

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

https://passionstruck.com/passion-struck-book/ - Order a copy of my new book, "Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life," today! Picked by the Next Big Idea Club as a must-read for 2024  and winner of the Best Business Minds book award. In this episode, I had the pleasure of speaking with Jamie Kern Lima, the self-made entrepreneur and former CEO of IT Cosmetics, who sold her company to L'Oreal for an incredible $1.2 billion. Jamie shared her profound insights on self-worth, authenticity, and overcoming self-doubt, which she delves into in her latest book, "Worthy: How to Believe You Are and Transform Your Life." Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://passionstruck.com/jamie-kern-lima-on-believing-you-are-worthy/  Sponsors Brought to you by The Perfect Jean. Ditch your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15% off with the code [PASSIONSTRUCK15] at https://theperfectjean.nyc/passionstruck15   #theperfectjeanpod Brought to you by Cozy Earth. Cozy Earth provided an exclusive offer for my listeners. 35% off site-wide when you use the code “PASSIONSTRUCK” at https://cozyearth.com/ This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/PASSIONSTRUCK, and get on your way to being your best self. This episode is brought to you By Constant Contact:  Helping the Small Stand Tall. Just go to Constant Contact dot com right now. So get going, and start GROWING your business today with a free trial at Constant Contact dot com. --► For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to: https://passionstruck.com/deals/ Unleashing Your Authentic Power with Jamie Kern Lima In our interview, Jaime opened up about her personal struggles with feeling inadequate and how she overcame these challenges to achieve extraordinary success. She emphasizes the importance of authenticity in both life and business. Jamie recounted her experience on QVC, where she sold over a billion dollars of product by being true to herself and her vision, despite facing immense pressure to conform to traditional beauty standards. All things Jamie Kern Lima: https://jamiekernlima.com/  Catch More of Passion Struck My solo episode on Why We All Crave To Matter: Exploring The Power Of Mattering: https://passionstruck.com/exploring-the-power-of-mattering/ Listen to my interview with BJ Fogg On How Tiny Habits Can Transform Your Life: https://passionstruck.com/bj-fogg-on-transforming-lives-with-tiny-habits/ Catch my episode with Saskia Lightstar On How To Be Your Best Self  Listen to my interview with Victoria Humphries On Saying I Can-Do To Life Tune in to my solo episode on Find Your Matter Meter: Create Belief In Why You Matter Listen to my interview with Dr. Gabrielle Lyon On The 3 Keys To Being Forever Strong Catch my interview with Jen Gottlieb On How To Create Your Own Success By Being Seen Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally! How to Connect with John Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMiles and on Instagram at @john_R_Miles. Subscribe to our main YouTube Channel Here: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles Subscribe to our YouTube Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@passionstruckclips Want to uncover your profound sense of Mattering? I provide my master class on five simple steps to achieving it. Want to hear my best interviews? Check out my starter packs on intentional behavior change, women at the top of their game, longevity and well-being, and overcoming adversity. Learn more about John: https://johnrmiles.com/ 

Coming up next on Passionstruck. I wrote a chapter in Worthy called, You're Not Crazy, You're Just First. And I want to share that with everyone because it is for anyone who feels like who they are is not enough or is odd or quirky or doesn't belong. It's one of my favorite breakthroughs I've had personally because I used to think I didn't belong

or I didn't have what it takes or great things happen to other people but not people like me. Welcome to Passionstruck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you.

Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become Passionstruck. Hello friends, and welcome back to episode 418 of Passionstruck,

ranked by apples the number one alternative health podcast. A heartfelt thank you to each and every one of you who return to the show every week, eager to listen, learn, and discover new ways to live better, be better, and make a meaningful impact in the world. I am so excited to announce that my new book, Passionstruck, is now available and you can find it at Amazon or on the Passionstruck website. I am so excited to announce that my new book, Passionstruck, is now available, and you can find it at Amazon or on the Passionstruck website.

If you're new to the show, thank you so much for being here, or you simply wanna introduce this to a founder or a family member, and we so appreciate it when you do that. We have episode starter packs, which are collections of our fans' favorite episodes that we organize into convenient playlists that give any new listener a great way

to get acclimated to everything that we do here on the show. Either go to Spotify or Passionstruck.com slash starter tax to get started. And in case you missed it, I had two fantastic interviews last week. The first was with Morgan Hossle, a mastermind in the world of finance, behavior economics, and psychology, and the author of the international bestseller, The Psychology of Money, which is resonated with over 4 million readers globally. I engage Morgan in a thought-provoking conversation diving deep into his latest work, same as ever, a guide to what never changes.

I also interview Nate Clempe, exploring how to thrive in a world overflowing with information and distraction, in an era where our natural response is to shut down our own emotions to others into the wider world, due to the constant bombardment of stimuli. Nate Clempe's groundbreaking book, Open,

offers a beacon of hope and a roadmap to a more expansive, creative, and wonder-filled way of life. And if you liked either of those episodes or today's, we would so appreciate you giving it a five-star rating and review. I know we and our guests love to hear your feedback. Today, we're thrilled to welcome an extraordinary guest, Jamie Kern-Lima, whose story of grit, resilience, and the power of self-belief is like no other. As a self-made entrepreneur and a beacon of inspiration for women around the globe, Jamie co-founded It Cosmetics from the comfort of her living room. Her journey, fueled by unwavering determination and a vision to challenge the beauty norms,

led to selling It Cosmetics to L'Oreal for a staggering 1.2 billion, marking her as the first female CEO in L'Oreal's century-long history. Not only is Jamie on the Forbes Richest Self-Made Women's List, but she's also a fervent philanthropist, an empowering keynote speaker, and an active investor over 15 companies. Her story isn't just about achieving financial success, it's about overcoming hurdles, battling self-doubt, and rewriting the narrative of what it means to be a successful entrepreneur. Today, Jamie brings us insights distilled in her latest groundbreaking book, Worthy. How to believe you are and transform your life. This episode just isn't a listen. It's a journey and a playbook for anyone yearning

to believe in themselves. In our interview, we address a question that resonates with so many of us. What has self doubt already cost you in your life? In our interview, Jamie guides you through the transformative process of building unshakable self-worth, unlearning the lies of self-doubt, and embracing the truths that awaken worthiness. This book is your roadmap to letting go of past mistakes, overcoming limiting beliefs, and most importantly learning to believe that you are enough just as you are. As we sit down with Jamie today, we delve into the essence of her book and her life's work. We discuss how to stop dimming your light, overcome the fear of rejection and failure, and embrace who you truly are.

So prepare to be inspired to challenge your own doubts and discover how you can transform your life by simply believing you're worthy of your dreams. Thank you for choosing Passionstruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am absolutely thrilled and so honored today to have Jamie Kern Lima on Passionstruck. Welcome Jamie. Thank you so much. I am fired up.

I am filled with passion. This is going to be an incredible episode and I'm so excited to be here with you. So thank you for having me. Jamie, you just happened to be one of the most requested guests we've had from our listener base. So I know they're going to get so much value from this. And today, we're going to be discussing your brand new book, Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life.

A copy of it is right behind your shoulder there. Someone's watching this on YouTube. But congratulations. I understand that this is one of the things you are most proud of in your life. Yeah, I feel like every single thing I've gone through has led me to this and it is a book for right now as you and I are talking 80% of women don't believe they're enough, 73% of men feel inadequate and they're not enough.

And this is really a book about, believe this idea that in life we don't become what we want. We so often become what we want. We so often become what we believe we're worthy of in every aspect of our life. And this is a book that is just really granular and tactical about like, how do you build true self worth? And why does it matter in every area of your life? So I am really excited and just honored to be here and thank you again. Yeah. So I think what you're saying is so true. I'm not sure if you've heard of the study, but Cornell University did research in 2018 and they ended up interviewing thousands of older adults who were nearing their death. And it sounds like a morbid topic, but what they were trying to get from them is what was their biggest regret?

And what struck me was 76% of them said that their biggest regret was that they didn't live their life trying to aspire to the dream that they had. And to me, it resonates with this podcast because it's really a sense of if you're living your life like that, you're not living your unique purpose that you were placed on earth to fulfill. And therefore, you're lacking in significance. And I can't even imagine going through life like that. It's so easy to. I know it's funny because so many people, they Google my story, they're like, Oh, Denny's waitress builds billion-dollar companies. She must just believe in herself and all the things. And most of my life, most of my life, and maybe so many people listening to us can relate to this. But so much of my life, so many moments, I doubted.

My self-doubt was so big that I doubted myself out of my own destiny. And I think if we're not careful, it's so easy to do that. We start showing up in rooms as only part of who we are. We almost start living our life in a way, hiding in plain sight, because we start to doubt who we are. And I don't know if you have this memory

or not in your life for anyone listening, but I remember the first time as a little kid, I remember the first time as a little kid when I was in the classroom, and I knew the first time as a little kid when I was in the classroom and I knew the answer, but I decided for the first time ever not to raise my hand. And I remember that moment so profoundly. The moment of just doubting all of a sudden,

well, maybe I'm gonna get it wrong. Maybe I don't know the, maybe I'll be judged. Maybe I'll get made fun of. Maybe I'll stand out and get made fun of if I'm right. Just all of the sudden that sense of awareness and that self-doubt kicked in. And I think for so many of us that can look like we're now adults not raising our hand on that zoom at work

or we're CEOs hitting every metric that says we're successful, but we're not sharing our actual real ideas that might move an industry forward because we're still hiding in plain sight or dimming our light or playing it safe and really underneath it all, not believing we're worthy of it, which can kill so many, you know, kills more dreams, I think, than almost anything else. And I am, you know, a lot of moments in my life, I always believe that if I achieved enough,

then I would be enough. If I achieved enough, then I'd finally feel enough. And I spent decades of my life, and one decade in particular, a hundred hour a week, just achieving every possible metric of what the world tells me success looks like, only to arrive still feeling like it wasn't enough. And so for me, and a big reason why I wrote

Worthy, the book is because I felt like I believe this life for so long that I needed to achieve enough to feel enough, or that would be what the thing is to help me live a fulfilled life or become the highest truest expression of myself. And I think it's only part of it. I think the growth and contribution and self-confidence that we build when we're going after the things as we really important. But if we don't also underneath it all, and I love how powerfully you talk about this, but if also underneath it all, we aren't

living in alignment with who we truly are and actually have self-worth underneath all of it. We never arrive at fulfillment and I've just I've had that experience now even in moments in my life after achieving so many things and after building this billion-dollar business and selling it and all the things that and I remember realizing a huge moment in my life where I realized I have a lot of self-confidence but I don't have a lot of self-worth and they're very different and when we don't underneath it all believe are worthy of thing oh my gosh it impacts the way we sabotage or don't go after things in our career our relationships our friendships our goals and hopes and dreams it's like the one

thing that changes everything so I've just become obsessed with studying self-worth and just how do you build it? And so it's such an important thing. And to what you just shared with the Cornell study, it's, I think most of us can relate to that right now. I think most of us don't need to be at that age or at that stage in our life to right now, whether we're in our 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, right now be like, am I not the person I'm truly born to be? Am I hiding from my own potential? Am I hiding from my own dreams and ideas and possibilities?

Am I doubting myself out of my own destiny? And I think that the beautiful thing, and another big reason why I wrote Worthy the Book, is because it is not too late. It is never too late. We are never too old. It does not matter what past mistakes you've made. The most beautiful thing, I believe in every answer my being, is every single one of us, exactly as we are, regardless of our failures, regardless of our successes. We are fully worthy, and it's about learning those lies that lead to self-doubt and igniting those truths that wake up worthiness and to kind of step into it, but it's never too late.

And every person listening to us right now is fully worthy and enough and can start to live in alignment with their assignment and the person that they're born to be. And that to me is the most exciting thing. And I'm excited about Worthy the book. I am excited about passion struck the book. The time for change has come because it is so many of us to just have gone way too many years and maybe have are just starting to realize what has self doubt already cost me in my life. And for so many of us, the answer is like way too much. So the good news is we can change it. So, and just to honor the work you're putting out in the world as a force for that as well. Yeah, I'm going to get fired up today. This is a passion struck. Jamie, I actually found that your book and my book coincide in so many different areas. And I started out my preface talking about my own self-doubt. And I remember I was at what many would have thought would have been the pinnacle. I'm a C-level and a Fortune 50 company. I'm 39 years old. I have this job that I never thought I if I was wearing a mask of pretense.

I felt like I was living so inauthentically because I was doing all the things that externally I was told to do to craft the life that I had built at that point. But I had this inner voice that was telling me that it wasn't the true representation of who I was that I was bringing to the world and it was holding me back. Yet I was struggling with what do I do at that point? Because fear, imposter syndrome, everything else enters you. What do you encourage listeners who might be feeling the same things I was feeling?

How do you encourage them to break free from that and to take that initial action, which is the most difficult thing I think there is to do is to have that confidence that you can break out of that situation you're in. Yeah. I wanna also honor you sharing that with everybody. A lot of people in a position like that

who are at that level in their career of esteem, a man, all of it, to have the strength and courage to share that so vulnerably is so powerful because what I know to be true is that most people hide those feelings and then they feel alone in them and they feel like something's wrong with them. And it is so powerful to share that and just help people feel less alone and more enough. So, oh my gosh, which tool do I even dive into? So, in Worthy, there are so many. One of the big

ones I would love to talk about if we have time is the difference between self-confidence and self-worth and how they play out in our life. But one thing I wanna share just to go granular on your question for anybody, because you mentioned the mask and the imposter syndrome. And so many of us believe that we are not enough as who we are, or that if we show up in this world as who we truly are and share what we really feel and we're our true selves, we won't be loved.

We'll no longer be celebrated. People will be like, oh, like they're not as cool or as smart or as whatever as I thought they were. And it is a lie. And here's a couple of things that are so important. We all know you cannot fake authenticity. And here is what I have learned to be true in business and in life and in how I built a billion dollar business

from my living room and connected with millions of customers all over the country is that, while authenticity, meaning who you truly are, like fully all of you, not just the mask, not just the highlight reel, not just the part you think fit that role or fit the uniform that everyone else expects you to show up as that day.

But when you show up truly authentic in this world, whether it's in your business, whether it's as a leader of your teams, whether it is in your marriage or your friendships, what I know beyond a shadow of a doubt as well, authenticity alone doesn't automatically guarantee success. Inauthenticity guarantees failure every time, over time. And we're in a world right now, especially online where there's no barriers to entry anymore. Everyone could be an expert to everyone, all of these things.

And people that, whether it's in a company or a business or a role or whatever, they shoot to the top really fast. And something kind of just doesn't feel quite like something feels off over time. They're gone over time all the time. It does not work. And to take it just to an individual level, you cannot have a true deep connection with another human being unless you're showing up fully authentically, is who you truly are, like all the parts.

And that goes with your customers as well. And I wanna go into a chapter, so I wrote a chapter in Worthy called, You're Not Crazy, You're Just First. And I wanna share that with everyone, because it is for anyone who feels like who they are is not enough, or is odd, or quirky, or doesn't belong.

It's one of my favorite breakthroughs I've had personally because I used to think I didn't belong or I didn't have what it takes or great things happen to other people but not people like me. So I'll share that in a second but one thing I wanna make sure I don't forget to say is that when I look at some of the things professionally

I've gone through and a lot of people are like, how did you do a thousand live shows on QBC where after one show, like QBC's broadcast to 100 million homes and their sales numbers are so astonishingly high because every one minute of television time, you have to hit a sales goal there. If you don't hit that goal, they'll put Apple iPhone or Dyson vacuum or another beautiful brand, Dell, IBM, any of the companies right in there. And their sales goals are very high. So most people I'd say 99% get maybe one shot live on air and the companies will either put their founder

or their best sales person or whoever it is on the air. And I'd say 98, 99% get one show and don't hit numbers. They never come back. And so I sat in this green room and did over a thousand live shows on QVC. I sold over a billion dollars of product direct to camera myself. It was a wild experience in this eight-year window. By the way, we went from getting three years of hundreds and hundreds of rejections, including from QVC, saying, we don't want to give you a shot. You're not the right fit for us or our

customer. Years of no's building my business. Everyone's saying it's never going to work. And we finally got one shot on the air, which I can share that story if you want as well. It's all about the power of authenticity. But really quick, just from a data perspective, after sitting in that green room doing over a thousand live shows for an eight year window and watching leader after CEO, after founder, after company come in and out and almost none of them making it and watching the very few that do the very few that hit the sales numbers came back again, came built meaningful connection with customer and built a significant

business over time. When I thought about what's the one thing they have in common, what's that through line that makes the very few people make it? And what I realized is it's not that they have the best product. It's not that or the most well-known product. It's not that they are the best funded or are giving the biggest, most significant discount. Literally the only thing they have in common is that the people going on live on TV, on the air, are the same on air as they are in the green room. They are exactly who they are and fully authentic.

Whether they're introverted and love geeking out over their stuff, or they're like over the top and a little bit oyster. It doesn't matter. It was the ones that were exactly who they are. And it's because they're able to go on air and people trust them, and they form a connection with their customers because they're who they fully are.

And to me, that was one of the most freeing lessons because so many of us think, well, who I am, I got to hide who I am. People knew who I really was. Like they wouldn't buy from me or they wouldn't hire me or they wouldn't believe in me or they wouldn't date me or they wouldn't want to be my friend or we tell ourselves these lies. And the truth is it's the only way to have a true human connection. And including in your business, the only way to connect customers. And just to go a little granular, friend of mine, Ed Milette always said that when you're selling anything, people don't need to believe in what you're selling.

They need to believe that you believe in what you're selling. And I love that analogy because it's the same in success in interpersonal relationships or business. If you aren't showing up as who you are, first of all, you're automatically telling yourself you're not worth showing up as who you are and it chips away at yourself worth slowly but surely. But also, if you're not showing up as who you are, people can sense that you don't believe in who you're being. And it will form a barrier of disconnection, whether it's in friendships, relationships, in our businesses, with our customers. It is such a thing.

And so for anyone, and I feel like all of, and I love that you shared your experiences, because I think so many people have, they just think they're alone in it. But for anyone who thinks, oh, if people knew how odd or strange or quirky or inadequate or deficient or out there, I was, they would not like me anymore. They wouldn't want me in this title and this job title. They wouldn't respect me

all the things we tell ourselves. I remember growing up, I used to I was adopted and I have five families. It's a whole thing. Amazing families, by the way, so blessed. But I was the only one out of all of them who would have these ideas about, what if I could change the world or end world hunger or I'd have these just big kind of God-sized dreams always. And they would tell me things like, oh, you're crazy.

Things like that do not happen to people like us. Who do you think you are? And they were loving when they were saying these things, but they always would call me words like crazy or odd or different. And when I was in my 20s, I was the first person I'm aware of to ever go to therapy. And I remember talking to my therapist and I said,

I always felt like I don't fit in or like I don't belong or that am I crazy? I point blank out, they call me these words, am I crazy? And she said, you're not crazy but I'm really glad you're here and she explained to me this and this is for everyone listening. When you are one of the brave ones willing to show up in

this world as who you truly are like you're the first ever you and don't be surprised if not everyone gets it. When you're the first in your family to have big dreams or the first to want to break generational cycles or the first to want to do things differently. Don't be surprised if not everyone gets it. And I remember having this light bulb moment,

like a light bulb so bright it burst, where I was like, I'm not crazy, I'm just first. I'm the first in my peer group or in my family to think a little differently, to wanna see the world, to wanna do great things. And what I wanna share quickly with anyone listening is that every single person listening to you and me right now is first.

There are the first ever you that's ever been created. There's never been another you before. There will never be another you again. No one else has your unique fingerprints or tongue print or heartbeat or iris of your eyes. No one has experienced the experiences you've had in life or have the same emotions that you feel or see art or beauty the way that you do.

And so don't be surprised if not everyone gets you and don't be surprised if you sometimes feel like you don't belong. It's because you're first. And here's what's beautiful. This is the last thing I'll say to wrap it up is, because I'm telling you this is also how I built my billion dollar business is because so many people think,

oh, my ideas aren't innovative. A million other people have done that idea. Oh, I want to launch this business, but thousands of people have already. Someone can do it better than me. It's already been done. Literally, if you are willing to, because I launched a makeup company, there's thousands of those, but if you are willing to do something, whether it is your art, your ideas, your business, your leadership, your vision, if you are willing to do something, whether it is your art, your ideas, your business, your

leadership, your vision, if you are willing to do something as who you authentically are, it's never been done before. You're first. And so many times in building this company where I got hundreds of nos and all this rejection and people saying it's never going to work, I literally had to remind myself, okay, it doesn't mean I'm going to fail. I'm not crazy. I'm just first. And I

would remember those lines. So I wrote this, there's 20 tools in Worthy on how to build self worth. There's one poem in the entire book and it's called, you're not crazy, you're just first, because my hope and prayers, everyone has that as a tool and their toolbox on the days they're tempted to think who I am isn't enough, or my ideas already been done. It is impossible and it's indisputable. But if you are gonna do anything authentic, it has never been done before. And so I think it's just like a powerful way

to think about it for every person as they start to embrace who they are. Because in life, none of us wanna be that stat you mentioned off the top of the show where we get to the very end of our life. And we're like living in regret that we never stepped in the person we're born to be. And the beautiful news is we can right now literally one step

at a time today, everyone listening to you and I right now it can start by just saying what you mean when someone asked you not the answer is going to be people play the truth right or sharing how you really feel. Or just sharing one thing about showing up authentically in one way in that work meeting today. Or with a colleague over lunch. It starts one step at a time.

And when we step into who we are, we start to step out of the fear of that. It starts to feel like joy and taste like freedom. So I hope everyone listening takes one step today. Jamie, I love that because it coincides with the first chapter of my book, which I titled Mission Angler, because to me, I love to fish.

And if you're gonna go out there and you're gonna hunt the fish, you don't wanna be sitting on your boat all day twiddling your thumbs. You want to figure out there and you're going to hunt the fish. You don't want to be sitting on your boat all day twiddling your thumbs. You want to figure out where they are so you can have the most plentiful result while you're out there. And I don't think enough people think about that as their life crafting. And in this chapter, I ended up interviewing someone you probably know, Jim McKelvie, my friend who started Square. And Jim told me

that the biggest thing that people either get right or wrong is finding the unique problem that they are only called to solve and then going 10 times deep on it. And it's interesting because I interviewed this gentleman, Andreas Widmer, who you probably don't know, but Andreas now runs the business school at Catholic University in DC. But when he was 18 and 19, he was a Swiss guard for Pope John Paul II. And I asked him, what was your biggest takeaway from interacting with the Pope? And he said, you think about a Pope and all the things that he has to deal with, yet anyone who worked with him would tell you that when we were with him, we were the only thing that mattered in the universe. And he could tell I was listless, he could tell I was lost,

I didn't know where to go, and he became my greatest mentor. And the biggest lesson he told me is that God created you because you're unique and you have been put on earth to exploit that uniqueness to serve humanity and you need to spend as much time as you can exploring your worthiness and exploiting that true gift to others and when you do that you will feel so much joy and everlasting happiness in your life. And I think he is so right. And it's what you just echoed. I love that so much. And one thing to add to that too that I found is that so many people think that they're trying to find that gift that they can exploit. And they think that it might be in their profession or in their skills and abilities or they keep spinning their wheels thinking why haven't I found

it? Why don't I feel purpose? I have found that sometimes I believe our steps are ordered in life. I believe that things like I can remember by the way waitressing at Denny's watching the disastrous kitchen that was failing in the operational side of it. Customers leaving so mad that their pancakes took an hour. If I was lucky, I got a penny or a dime thrown at the table for a tip. But I remember that day realizing if you don't get your operations right, nothing else matters. And you fast forward to me launching a business years later. And I'm

like so focused on the operations, even though that's not the fun part for me, because I believe our steps are ordered in life. And I believe to add to that, for anyone listening right now, what is my unique gift? What is that thing I can exploit? How can I find a deep sense of purpose that I feel passionate over? And I have found often it's actually not your profession. And a lot of people keep switching jobs or thinking like that's where they need to find it. But I think it's actually not your profession.

And a lot of people keep switching jobs or thinking like that's where they need to find it. But what I've learned is when you can take the things you have made it through. And by the way, there might be people listening to us right now who are going through some hard things. When you go through hard things, they become the things you make it through.

And when you can take the things you make it through to actually help someone else make it through those things. Oh my, and this may have nothing to do with your career or profession or anything else. It could be something that happened in your personal life, in your childhood, a setback, a bad break. It could be any number of things. But I have found when you take that thing, you had to go through and you made it through and you help someone else make it through it. That is in so many, it could be positive or negative thing. It could be a great thing too.

But that is so often our deepest sense of joy and purpose and how we're uniquely positioned to find that sense of fulfillment. A friend of Rory Vaden has this quote that is just, I think so poignant where he says, we're best positioned in life to serve the person we once were. And for me, it's, oh, most of my life I struck, I was crushing it, even on the Forbes list, all these professional accomplishments, not realizing why I didn't fill enough is because I didn't have self worth. I had self confidence, all these things, but I didn't have self worth. And so

it's like I've spent three years being obsessed with how do you build self worth. And now I am so passionate about sharing that with other people. These are like the thing I've gone through that I'm making it through and I've made it through in big parts. When he says that so many of us are best positioned to serve the person we once were, I think that it is such a secret to like, how do we truly find purpose in life? And it doesn't need to be in a huge, big job like you've had and I've had that the world celebrates. I've learned you get no more purpose in that necessarily

than when you're like, wow, that thing I made it through that one other person now, they understand that they're not alone in it. Here's how I got through it. Here's what they can, and you all of a sudden feel the sense of your life's purpose. And I think looking at it that way is huge because I feel like so many people feel lost

that they can only find that professionally. And you might have a profession that you're really good at or that you love that you're growing in, contributing, but that doesn't mean that's your purpose. It can mean it's a big part of your life that's important, that's filling the need for growth and confidence and contribution, which is all important, but your deepest sense of purpose, it might not be that. And you know, for anyone listening today

who's how I don't know my unique qualification, I think that's really another great consideration, is to be like, huh, that thing I made it through, I would never want to relive it again, I would never wish it on my enemy, I just want it to go away, but maybe actually I can help someone else make it through it. And that is a life well lived. That is the most I think. That is when we achieve, as Oprah would say, the highest truest expression of who we are

is when we use the things we've made it through to help other people get through them and every single one of us can do that, which I think is really beautiful and inspiring. No, that's awesome. And Rory and AJ are personal friends of mine. And I love, yeah, and I love the one world, one word problem exercise that he does

because that was critical for me for finding my uniqueness. And it's interesting, I was working with Hillary Billings. I'm not sure if Hillary, but she's the CEO of a company called Attentioneers and is a whiz bang on short content and how you utilize that. And I had just started this podcast and I'm going to go back to you talking about being authentic. And I had studied Edmellette, Lewis House, Jay Shetty, Tom Billio, you name it, Dax, as I was starting out because they are the best. And when I started doing the podcast, Hillary listened to a few episodes and she goes,

John, you're trying to be everyone else but yourself. And a light bulb clicked because, and I'm just using my personal example, but what I learned is people don't go to listen to Jay Shetty because I'm on his show or Oprah's on his show. Maybe he'll get a little bit of a lift, but they go there because they love Jay Shetty and they love what he represents and how he approaches things. And I think it's such an important lesson for us to take with us. And now I'm going to go back to your story about QVC. So I've known Mike George, who you probably know for years and years because I was a C-level at Dell,

or where he came from. And he actually was interviewing me to be the CIO. And along the way, when I was living in Austin, I met this gentleman, Steve Lavagy, who, like you, sold millions and millions of dollars on QVC. But he told me the first time he went on, and they don't really prepare you for it, like you were saying, he said, there's this clock there. And then they have the clock, and then they put up this number of units that you need to be selling. And you see this clock ticking down,

and you're just almost going into panic mode. Well, he's known as the artist of hope, and he leaned into his faith, and he just told his story of why he was making the jewelry and the artwork that he was making and how it was inspired by God and by these visions that he was having and how he was supposed to God and by these visions that he was having and how he was supposed to

bring hope to the world. And he ended up blowing away his cells quota. But my quote for you, or my question for you is often when we're faced in moments like that, even before we get on that stage, that nasty fear starts kicking in that we're not good enough, that we don't belong there. How do you encourage people when they face life moments like that to turn that fear into a superpower? Okay, I have so many tools I use and I feel like I have built a toolbox. Literally, a toolbox over the years because I've had to pull from it so many times and a couple of the tools in case they're helpful for someone today. One of them I used in a very similar situation to him. So for everyone to imagine this scenario, I built this company out of my living

room, went through years and years of no, was teetering on bankruptcy for the longest time, barely staying alive as a company. And after three years of hearing No from QVC and you're not the right fit, I finally got a yes that meant we got one shot, one shot only to go live on air, broadcast to 100 million homes. And I learned I was gonna get a 10 minute window, John,

10 minute window to hit their sales goal or not come back. And then, and by the way, we were selling about one to two units on our website today. I learned I'd have to sell over 6,000 units, six figure amount in a 10 minute window live to hit their sales goal. So I thought, okay, I'm going to go for it. Then I learned it was a consignment offer, which meant that somehow we had to pay for, manufacture, ship in, pass the regulatory compliance, legal compliance, all the things, all the inventory,

get it to them in their warehouses, and then I would go live on television for 10 minutes. If it didn't sell, we'd have to take it all back. I would get paid nothing and we would go bankrupt. So you should never say yes to this. But at this point, we had been, oh my gosh, the hundreds of rejections over and over for so long

that I didn't know how we were gonna make it. And so I'm like, it's this or I don't know what else. And so we went and applied for SBA loan because we had no money. 22 banks said no, and they should have. The 23rd bank, California Bank and Trust, gave us a loan for the purchase order and a little bit more. And we went full speed ahead. I knew everything was going to come down in this 10 minute window. And my self doubt was so loud. And here's what we did. We used the extra money

that was covered a little because the loan covered the purchase order plus a little bit more. We use that a little bit more to hire third party consultants who are amazing and they help so many people sell their products in stores and on television. And here's the thing, they all told me the same thing. They said your authentic vision for this brand is not going to work because at the time I have a skin condition called rosacea and it's bright red and bumpy and there's no cure. And I had realized in part of my building of this brand, I had realized I'd never growing up. I love the beauty commercials and the magazines. I loved them. I aspired to look like them,

but deep down inside, they always made me feel like I wasn't enough. So I had this vision. If I could create an amazing product, that would be part of it. But what if I could launch this brand and use real people as models, like me with rosacea, every age and shape and size and skin tone and skin challenge as models

and call them beautiful and mean it. And my big God size dream was to try to shift the definition of beauty in the entire beauty industry. For every little girl out there is about to start doubting herself and every grown person who still does. So it was this big God size dream, but for three years, everyone was saying no. The department stores would always say, no one will buy makeup from images like that.

You have to use unattainable aspiration, meaning low-toe shop pictures that aren't real. And it was just so many no's. So I finally get this yes. We get one shot on TV and the consultants that I hired are saying, no, no, no, here's what you need to do if you even have a shot at success. You cannot do it your way. That will not work.

You need to do it this way. And they explained to me to book this type of model, which was flawless skin early 20s look like they're 12, like a whole thing. And I get that's how it's always been done. But I know remember we started this conversation talking about how you cannot fake authenticity. I know that my gut and I said to them, okay, here's my vision for this. What if I put models in their 70s and 80s and then someone a mom in her 30s who's dealing with hyperpigmentation and acne and every skin tone and size and

I go what if I take my makeup off on national television and I prove the product works and I show my bright red rosacea and they were mortified. Like mortified. And so I remember flying out to QVC one week before my one big shot. I sat in this rental car in the parking lot all alone, literally watching the front door of the building, which somehow made sense at the time. I was just watching people go in and out,

knowing the next time I walked through those doors, I'm either like my entire life's gonna be changed and this is gonna work, or I'm going bankrupt. It was one or the other. And I remember praying and crying in the car and my self-doubt was so loud. be changed and this is going to work or I'm going bankrupt. It was one or the other. And I remember praying and crying in the car and my self-doubt was so loud. And all of us feel this, whether we're walking into a boardroom to do a presentation, whether we're putting our ideas out in the world, sending a manuscript out, we all go through these things when we're one of the brave ones willing to put ourselves out there. And I remember sitting in that car just feeling so much self-doubt

and praying and crying. And the truth is there were moments where I'm like, okay, I know you can't fake authenticity, but so far that's not working out for me so well. So what I would have thoughts like, okay, maybe if I do it their way, that's how it's always been done. That's inauthentic to me. And then I make money, then I can do it their way, that's how it's always been done, that's inauthentic to me, and then I make money, then I can do it my way. Like I had all these thoughts, and I sat there in the car, and I remember this moment where I imagined

who is that customer on the other end. And I don't know why, but I imagine a single mom in Nebraska. I imagine her turning on her television and blessing me with a few seconds of her time. And I just imagined her way too busy to remember that she matters and that she's beautiful. And I had this moment where I'm like, you know what? If she is going to bless me with a few seconds of her time, I would rather have her look

up at her television, see women that look just like her, hear me calling them beautiful, meeting it, even if she buys nothing, then sell a whole crap load of product and stand for nothing. But doing the right thing and being who we fully, truly are can be scary, especially if we feel like it hasn't worked in the past. And I remember in that car, literally imagining myself turning down the volume, almost like a volume dial on the radio, having to turn down the volume on my own self doubt

and like turn up the volume on my knowing, on my intuition, on my gut feeling. When I pray, it's how I hear God is through my gut feelings. And every time I would get still, I just knew in my gut I was supposed to do this and I was supposed to be authentic. It was not supposed to show up as how other people are who have had success there

when it's not authentic to me because you cannot fake authenticity. And I know we talked about this earlier, but I've always seen this to be true that authenticity alone, it's not enough. It doesn't automatically guarantee success, but in authenticity guarantees failure. And I just, I knew what I had to do. And I remember walking in to QVC, literally shaking. And I'm not nervous for television, but I felt the entire company on my shoulders

and I walked into QVC. Then I learned, oh, you're not even guaranteed you're 10 minutes to sell your products, right? And remember, everything was on the line for me. We still weren't paid. So I learned, yeah, they said I'm getting 10 minutes. But if I go live in a minute or two in, it's not hitting numbers.

You think you have eight minutes left on that clock on the floor? It jumps down to one minute. And you know, you're done. You know, you can do the math in your head of what you just lost, like all of it. And so I learned that. And I remember the moment that this giant red light for on air went on. I walked in the studio and I see the big clock on the floor that says 10 minutes. I remember the moment this giant red light came on and the clock started ticking down. It was like 9.59, 9.58, 9. And I was

freaking out. I had practiced this demonstration on my wrist to show how our product doesn't crease. And I was trying to do it, but my hand was shaking like Scooby-Doo and the whole card to like shaking like a leaf and the host grabbed it and she's like, thank you, sugar. And she took over and I remember the moment my bright red bare face before shot came up on national television. I remember walking over to the models and every age, shape, size, skin tone, skin challenge, calling them beautiful and meaning it.

And I remember a few minutes in, I didn't know how we were doing, but I knew I wasn't cut yet. And I remember getting down to the last, the one minute mark left, and hosts said, the deep shade's almost gone. The tan shade's almost sold out. And I remember freaking out.

And then literally at the exact 10 minute mark, this giant sold out sign came up across the screen. And I started crying on national television. And they cut from me and went to Dyson vacuum or something. And I remember my husband running through the double doors of the QVC studio. I'm like crying. I thought he was going to give me a hug and he's like, we're not going bankrupt. He was like so excited. I'm like bawling and I'm like real women is spoken. And that one airing turned into 101 the

next year and eventually over 250 live shows a year and we built the biggest beauty brand in QVC's history it is still right now to this day and the only reason I share that is because it was years where they said no you're not the right fit. And what I know for sure is I not turn down the volume on that self-doubt, prayed, tried to hear what is my intuition telling me, and turned up the volume on that knowing. If I hadn't have done that, I do not think we would have sold out that day.

I don't think that we would have built what became the biggest speed of brand in their history, which then all of the exposure there started getting us yeses and all the retail stores around the country that have been telling me no for years. which then all of the exposure there started getting us yeses and all the retail stores around the country that have been telling me no for years. We grew to over a thousand employees and eventually the largest U.S. acquisition in L'Oreal's history. And, you know, and continued after L'Oreal bought my company, I agreed to stay on for three years and we doubled the size of the business two years post acquisition. It was this whole mission and through line of authenticity. And so I think that everyone who's today is going,

what do I do in a moment of self doubt? I think the first question is, do what has self doubt already cost you in your life? Because here's the thing, as human beings, we are wired to avoid pain at all costs. It's why we know if we work out, we're going to feel really good and get healthy, but the pain of getting on the treadmill. We will avoid it.

A lot of us will avoid it. And so we're wired to avoid pain at all costs. And so a lot of times we think, well, if I show up authentically, if I go out there and be who I truly am, well, I might fall flat on my face. People might not like me. And we're thinking of it from a position of the pain that could come from it. I think the most important reframe here, that's also something people could do today right now, is you reframe it to what has self-doubt

and lack of showing up as who I am already cost me. And the pain of that regret, because for so many of us when we think what a self-doubt cost me in my life and my relationships and my career and my joy and my fulfillment, that is, the answer is way too much. And so one tool I use is I'm about to walk out on stage and think, oh, should I shift to who I am to make a whole room of CEOs happy and think I'm credible. I will

instead realize, oh, what a self doubt and not being authentic already cost me my life. I do not want to be one of the stats you opened up this episode with at the end of my life going, I played it small. I only lived up to part of who I am. I have a life of regret. God gave me all these gifts and I didn't trust him with them. I trusted my own self-doubt over him. I don't want that.

So I will reframe it and focus on the pain of that because I know as human beings, we are wired to avoid pain at all costs far more than focusing on the pleasure or the joy we'll get from something. And that will give me like that edge. She'd be like, okay, I'm going full out or I'll tap into stories like the one I just shared where I know what I know, which is that authenticity alone does not automatically guarantee success, but in authenticity guarantees failure every

time over time. And for anyone who has faith, by the way, in your life, oh my gosh, I go into a whole chapter and worthy about for people with faith. If you believe what you say you believe, it is the quickest shortcut to overcoming self-doubt. Because a lot of us say we believe, like for me, I'm a Christian and I believe, oh, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made in his image.

I can do all things through Christ, he strengthens me. But then if I'm about to doubt myself out of my own destiny, I might call it self-doubt, but really I'm trusting my own thoughts and doubting God's word. So it's actually God-doubt, oftentimes self-doubt. So there's a lot of tools that they go into, and I believe that, by the way, is applicable even for people who believe the universe has their back, all of those things. If you believe what you say, you believe it can be a beautiful self-worth shortcut. You can instantly, you can use it as a toolbox,

a tool in your toolbox on this journey. And by the way, it is, I think you and I will agree on this, at least for me, it's a lifelong journey. I have to apply these tools every day, work hard to build new habits and carve new neural pathways every day. It's like this lifelong journey. So everyone listening should also,

as they pick up my book, where the yearbook passions start doing all, like give yourself grace with these things as well. Because it's this, I don't know anybody who has shifted the world, shifted an industry, helped heal humanity through love, is an incredible thought leader, a world changer. I don't know any one of those who is not a lifelong student

and also just always on this beautiful journey forever. You know, I love it. And it's such an important thing for us to end on. And I just wanted to touch on a couple of things that you just said. I often talk on this show about intentionality. One of the key things I think people need to understand that you just highlighted is we have our core values. We have these beliefs, whether it's the Christian belief like you and I share, or other deep-rooted beliefs. But too many

of us make easy decisions instead of hard decisions. And to me, the easy decisions are when we're not being intentional, when we're making this decision to do something that goes against our core values, because it's the easy way to do it, instead of something that might bring us ridicule from our friends or from the outside world, instead of doing the harder thing that truly aligns to our beliefs, to our long-term aspirations, to our spiritual backgrounds. And I think another key thing that you brought up is that oftentimes we don't allow ourselves

to dream our dream. And you gave yourself that opportunity, even though at that time with KVC, you were faced with taking one of the biggest risks of your entire life. If you didn't go and give yourself that shot, how would you have felt about it for the rest of your life? And you went in there and you trusted your gut instinct. And it's something that I try to do on my show as well. I could have Tony Robbins on the show or people like that.

But to me, the listener resonates with someone that they see as themselves, someone who's struggling, someone who was where they are and is now trying to come out of it. And that's why I think your story is so powerful because you live that life. You worked at Denny's. You started out barely being able to keep your business alive. And it was just through dedication and facing rejections and staying tough that you kept yourself motivated to keep going. So for the audience, this is an amazing book that you all want to read. You're going to pick up so many things such as how to be an action creator and take that leap from idea and overcoming self-doubt,

taking action to put it into place. As Jamie was just talking about, you're going to get into faith and knowing how to utilize timing, harnessing your perspective. I was interviewing Jen Gottlieb. She teaches something similar to what you talk about in the book about seeing rejection as a form of protection and so much more. Jamie, I know it's important for the audience to understand that this book, you're not making any profits off of it. I was hoping you might be able to share where the proceeds are going. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, for Worthy, it is packed with 20 tools on how to build unshakable self worth. And yeah, I'm super grateful to highlight a bunch of them. And yeah, 100%

of the proceeds are being donated. So both defeating America and then to charities that build self worth and girls and women. One of the partners is Global Leadership Network that I funded leadership training and over 100 prisons and shelters. And I just think for me, at this point in my life, I feel so blessed to be able to just, for me, it's my greatest work. But this book worthy, had I learned how to build self-worth

sooner in my life, oh my goodness, the things I would not have sabotaged, the ceilings I wouldn't have stayed stuck at, because our self-worth is our ceiling in so many areas of life. And I even talk about in this book, you wanna double your stuck at because our self-worth is our ceiling in so many areas of life. And I even talked about in this book, you wanna double your success, double your self-worth, you wanna double your net worth, double your self-worth.

It's literally our ceiling in so many areas and we don't soar, we so often don't soar to the level of our goals and dreams. We stay stuck at the level of our self-worth. So I'm very grateful to get it out there. And it's a really different and special kind of a book. And I actually put this old school library card in the end of it, in the back of it, because my hope and prayer is anyone who gets it,

when you are done with Worthy, pass your copy of Worthy onto another person who you know. Oh my gosh, if they just believed in themselves, you know what I mean? The ideas that would be birthed and the businesses that would be launched and the unhealthy relationships that would end and the art and creation that would be put out in the world. And so I'm just, I'm very excited about this. And there's lots of free bonus thank you gifts

and all that at worthybook.com. I'm just really excited. And you know the journey of launching a book out into the world. It's this very, really special. It's almost like you're putting your whole soul out there. And you're like, here it is. This is for you, it's all for you. So I'm just celebrating you doing that as well.

And I'm grateful to be sharing this with you. Thank you so much for that, Jamie. And thank you so much for coming on the show. It was such an honor to have you and to spread your great advice. I know it's going to help so many of our listeners. Thank you. Thank you for having me. What a fantastic interview that was with Jamie Kern-Lama. And I wanted to thank Jamie and Hayhouse for the honor and privilege of having her appear on today's show. Links to all things Jamie will be in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Please use our website links if you purchase any

of the books from the guests that we feature here on the show. Advertiser deals and discount codes are in one convenient place at passionstruck.com slash deals. Videos are on YouTube at both John R. Miles, our main channel, and Passionstruck clips. You can find me on all the social platforms at John R. Miles, or you can sign up for a newsletter at passionstruck.com. You're about to hear a preview of the Passionstruck podcast interview that I did with Harry Buddha Magar, who's a figure of awe-inspiring strength, a man who has turned adversity into triumph in a way

that not many of us could possibly fathom. From the remote farming fields of Nepal, to the battlefields of Afghanistan, to the mountain cliffs of Mount Everest, Harry's life is a testament to the unyielding power of the human spirit. I was rescued in 17 minutes and my friends who did a managing job to pass me up and called the heli on time. I think those heli were going to another, I think, things, but I think I was more seriously injured. So I think it was a divert. This is why I think I was picked up so quickly.

Anyone who's listening to those pedro call signs, I don't know who they were, but I appreciated for helping me out and keeping me safe and bringing me to the best and saving my life. Remember that we rise by lifting others. So share the show with those that you love and care about. If you liked today's episode with Jamie, then please the show with those that you love and care about. If you like today's episode with Jamie, then please share it with those

who could use her inspiring message. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, go out there and become Passionstruck. Music