Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Marie Butler on How to Create Confidence in the Pursuit of Your Dreams EP 434

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

https://passionstruck.com/passion-struck-book/ - Order a copy of my new book, "Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life," today! Picked by the Next Big Idea Club as a must-read for 2024.On this episode of Passion Struck, host John R. Miles delves into the captivating journey of Marie Butler, a woman whose life story embodies the essence of passion-driven transformation. From navigating challenges in her upbringing to excelling in various career roles, Marie's journey is one of relentless perseverance, adaptability, and the pursuit of passion across every facet of her life.Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://passionstruck.com/marie-butler-on-confidence-in-pursuit-of-dreams/In this episode, you will learn:Marie's upbringing and how it shaped her determination and drive for success.Defining passion as a burning desire that influences every aspect of one's life.Marie's career transitions from hospitality to marketing and real estate, driven by a strong work ethic and a desire for personal growth.The pivotal moment that led Marie to pursue bodybuilding as a means of reclaiming her power and identity.The challenges and mindset shifts required to excel in bodybuilding, from meal prep to intense training routines.Balancing a career in real estate, motherhood, and bodybuilding through intentional time management and prioritization.Dealing with self-doubt, obstacles, and external criticism while staying motivated and focused on personal goals.The significance of competing in the Olympia bodybuilding competition and the prestige associated with the event.All things Marie Butler: https://www.instagram.com/mariebutler.14/SponsorsBrought to you by Indeed. Head to https://www.indeed.com/passionstruck, where you can receive a $75 credit to attract, interview, and hire in one place.Brought to you by Nom Nom: Go Right Now for 50% off your no-risk two week trial at https://trynom.com/passionstruck.Brought to you by Cozy Earth. Cozy Earth provided an exclusive offer for my listeners. 35% off site-wide when you use the code “PASSIONSTRUCK” at https://cozyearth.com/This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/PASSIONSTRUCK, and get on your way to being your best self.This episode is brought to you By Constant Contact:  Helping the Small Stand Tall. Just go to Constant Contact dot com right now. So get going, and start GROWING your business today with a free trial at Constant Contact dot com.--► For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to:https://passionstruck.com/deals/Catch More of Passion StruckMy solo episode on Why We All Crave To Matter: Exploring The Power Of Mattering: https://passionstruck.com/exploring-the-power-of-matteringCatch my episode with Dr. Anthony Youn On How To Feel Great And Look Your BestWatch my interview with Dr. Gabrielle Lyon On The 3 Keys To Being Forever Strong.Listen to my interview with Dr. Casey Means On Unlocking Limitless Health: Metabolism’s Key RoleCatch my episode with Dr. Mark Hyman On How Personalized Medicine Is Revolutionizing HealthcareListen to my solo episode On 10 Benefits Of Meditation For Transforming The Mind And Body.Like this show? Please leave us a review here-- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally!How to Connect with JohnConnect with John on Twitter at @John_RMiles and on Instagram at @john_R_Miles.Subscribe to our main YouTube Channel Here: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMilesSubscribe to our YouTube Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@passionstruckclipsWant to uncover your profound sense of Mattering? I provide my master class with five simple steps to achieving it.Want to hear my best interviews? Check out my starter packs on intentional behavior change, women at the top of their game, longevity and well-being, and overcoming adversity.Learn more about John: https://johnrmiles.com/

Coming up next on Passion Strike. When you're a strong independent woman, and you've got someone who's trying to take that away from you, it becomes deep, deep, deep rooted. So from that point forward, I was on a mission, I was hell-bent to figure out what I could do to get my power back. And I started going to the gym again, and I was like, man, I remember what this feels like. This is me. This is what I do, this defines me and who I am. On top of being successful, it was just something, if you're successful

and then you look successful, you're even more powerful. So that was just kind of like where that all started. And then I got a wild hair up my rear one day and I'm like, I'll do a competition because how hard it could be. I've already done a million bikini contests, I've already been on TV, I've done all this stuff, it can't be that difficult. Little did I know.

I hired my coach and then I learned really quickly what the difference between somebody who just goes to the gym and a bodybuilder was. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom

into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become passion struck.

Hello everyone and welcome back to episode 434 of Passion Struck, consistently ranked the number one alternative health podcast. A heartfelt thank you to each and every one of you who return to the show every week eager to listen, learn, and discover new ways to live better, be better, and make a meaningful impact in the world. If you're new to the show, thank you so much for being here or you simply want to introduce this to a friend or a family member and we so appreciate it when you do that. We have episode starter packs

which are collections of our fans favorite episodes that organize and convenient topics that give any new listener a great way to get acclimated to everything we do here on the show. Either go to passionstruck.com or Spotify to get started. Are you curious to find out where you stand on the path to becoming passionstruck? Dive into our engaging passionstruck quiz, crafted to reflect the core principles shared

in my latest book. This quiz offers you a dynamic way to gauge your progress on the passionstruck continuum. Just head over to passionstruck.com to embark on this insightful journey. In case you missed it, early in the week I had a fantastic interview with Eric Edmead, a revolutionary thinker in the world of health and wellness. Eric, who's the author of Post-Diabetic and a renowned speaker, delves into the transformative power of understanding our relationship with food and the pivotal role of metabolism in

achieving unparalleled health and vitality. And if you liked that episode or the one today, we would so appreciate you giving it a five-star rating and review. It goes such a long way in bringing more people into the Passion Star community. And also, we and our guests love to hear feedback from our listeners.

Today, we delve into the captivating journey of Marie Butler, a woman whose life story embodies the essence of passion-driven transformation. Born in the heart of Kansas City, Missouri and later making her mark in Florida and North Carolina, Marie's path is a testament to the power of embracing change, pursuing personal excellence, and living with intention at every turn. From her early days navigating the challenges and opportunities of her upbringing, to her dynamic career that spans from the vibrant atmosphere of Houder's corporate training

team, the competitive world of real estate, Maria's story is one of relentless perseverance, adaptability, and the pursuit of passion across every facet of her life. Not content with conventional success, Marie ventured into the manning world of professional bodybuilding, rapidly ascending to pro status and setting her sights

on the prestigious Olympia competition. In this episode, we explore how Marie's journey reflects the core principles of being passion struck, a life where actions, ambitions, and aspirations are not just aligned, but are also deeply infused with an unwavering dedication to personal growth and self-actualization. We'll uncover the pivotal moments, mindset shifts, and the intrinsic motivation that propelled Marie through

various career transitions, the challenges of balancing professional success with motherhood and her bold leap into the world of bodybuilding. Join us as Marie Butler shares her extraordinary journey, offering insights into how she navigated the twists and turns of life with grace, courage, and an indomitable spirit. Whether you're seeking inspiration to embark

on your own path, passion-driven transformation, or looking to glean wisdom from someone who's courageously crafted her life in the image of her ideal self. This episode promises to be a compelling exploration of what it means to live passion-struck. Thank you for choosing Passion Struck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey

to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am absolutely thrilled today to welcome Marie Butler again. I am absolutely thrilled today to welcome Marie Butler to Passion Struck. Welcome Marie. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Well Marie I always like to give the audience an opportunity to get to know the guest. And I think for you exploring a little bit about your upbringing makes a lot of sense. You grew up in Kansas City. Yes. And from the way you and I talked about it you had an interesting upbringing. Can you tell us a little bit about that and how it shaped you. Yes. So I didn't have the ideal situation growing up. We moved around a lot. My mother kind of dated around and we were kind of just doing

what we could to make things work. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and just kind of bebopped around until high school when we ended up moving to Florida. Okay, and was there any key things that taught you or is it more you learned what not to do? Correct, yes. So it's more of, I think children are little sponges. So you look and you adapt to the people around you. I was able to at a very young age look and say this is not what I want for my life and I was able to kind of mold and make turns to do the opposite.

Okay. Well one thing I wanted to ask is for you what does passion mean for you? How would you define passion in your eyes? Passion is something that you wake up with that burns inside of you, that you do everything in your day around that. So if you have a passion for something you just live, breathe, eat it and immerse yourself in it into something. Okay well it's gonna be a core theme of your interview today because you've certainly been passionate about a number of things throughout your life and your career has spanned various roles. You started out really in hospitality then got into marketing now real estate. Can you share how your passion

guided these decisions? Sure. So the upbringing that I had you learn really quickly that it's kind of like a dog eat dog world. Nothing in this world is given to you. You have to work really hard for it. So when you have nothing you have to work that much harder to of like a dog eat dog world. Nothing in this world is given to you. You have to work really hard for it. So when you have nothing, you have to work that much harder to get to a neutral position. So for me, it was always a fight to have a better job, to get promoted in that job that I'm in, make more money, travel more and do that.

So I think that's just kind of what has always fueled me is that I wanna be better, I wanna grow. What can I do as a person to make myself and everyone around me better. OK. And on that quest to rise did you ever feel like you were out of balance with your authentic self like you were trying to achieve but something inside of you was calling you to do something different. Yeah. So when you work for a huge corporation like I did, they mold you into what they want and need from you. So you get into kind of a celebrity mindset, if you will, of I have to do whatever I'm

paid to do. So if you're at this gig or you're at this marketing job, you're kind of molded into what they're paying you to do. So you kind of lose who you are as a person. So through that, I constantly just tried to ground myself with my faith and with reminders of my upbringing of who I was and who I ultimately wanted to be. Okay. And I think that's great. And I know something I found in my own life as a corporate executive was I just reached a point where I felt I was doing so much to help other people

make money and other people's dreams come true, but I wasn't doing the same thing for myself. Did you ever feel like that? I actually just had last year my coach, my bodybuilding coach, pulled me to the side of the gym and he said, I need you to stop doing everything for everyone else and I need you to do what you need to do to succeed. And I never until that moment of 30 plus years on this earth looked at it that way. I was always a lover and a doer because I never had anything. I always wanted to give people what I never had.

And that moment I was like, you're right. And that changed so much in my life. Well, I wanna go back to your earlier career just to touch on it. So you ended up starting, working for Hooters corporate. And for those of you who might be tuning in, we're talking today from St. Petersburg, Florida, and Hooters actually was founded in this area.

And then you ended up shifting to marketing. How did you navigate the challenges and opportunities that came with these roles? So, I've always been a fighter and a go-getter, and one of the cool things about Hooters is if you stay in front of the people who matter, then you're obviously going to grow over the company. So I started in a little tiny Hooters restaurant in Jacksonville, North Carolina.

It was the hub of Camp Lejeune. So it was, nobody really knew about it unless you had to be there. So one year the owners all came through to do a wellness check of the restaurant, see how it's doing, seeing why it was so successful, why we were putting out these big, huge numbers that we were. And at the time, I was a lead server or a trainer for our store, so I got to wait on that table. So it was my opportunity, like an interview, right?

So you get to wait on it, you get to show them what you're made of, and from there, I just kind of like got to know them individually, and they said, hey, do you want to start traveling with us? Well, yeah, duh, of course. And so from there, it was just the same thing. Every time we got to a place, I just want to elevate more and more and just open and do as many opportunities with them as I could.

Okay. And as I was looking into your background, I love doing these interviews, especially with friends, because you learn things about them that you never knew. And I learned that you won the best damn dream girl title with Fox Sports. And for those who aren't familiar with this, if you've ever seen the background of a shoot for Sports Illustrated, it reminded me very much of the same thing. So that was a really big achievement because you

competed against 14, 16 other women? Yes. So it started way back at the restaurant. So locally you do a local bikini contest. You win your local, then you go to your regional bikini contest. Then you win your regional, then you go to your state. And then from your state, that's when you go to the actual international pageant. So I represented Clearwater at the international Hooters pageant. So I represented Clearwater at the international

Hooters pageant. From there I placed top 10, and those top 10 girls go to the Best Day of Dream Girls show. And so they took us to Colorado, which was so cold and miserable. We went skiing in the snow, we did all these cool things in the snow, and then we went to the the Bahamas which was way more up my alley. And did some stuff there and filmed with them but it was just, it was an incredible experience,

it really was. Yeah and when you went into the competition, did you know any of the other girls and as you started to compete, did you know in the back of your head that you had this or? No, so the cool thing about it is America voted we had no control over it And we had no clue who was winning which was really cool So the girls you get to know them just from the pageants and whatever because they're all from different areas of the country So you don't know them personally so we develop a relationship we go into this whole thing together and week by week It was like a basketball bracket

So you had to beat that girl and then beat the next girl and then you get into the top four and then the top four is when America does the big vote. And then that's when they announce the winner. But it was crazy because we had no clue the whole time who was winning until we got to Hollywood. Wow. That's incredible. Well doing something like that. I personally have never done anything like that but it's it's got to be a little bit nerve-racking to approach it because you are really putting yourself out there for the world to see. How did you go through the thought process that you even wanted to pursue something like that? I had no choice so our marketing director for the Clearwater office was like you need to do the calendar you need to go I'm like no I just want to

serve chicken wings and have fun and make money and go home at the end of the day. So at that time, I was doing modeling gigs here and there. I was doing trade shows here and there, just little things on the weekends. And I had a portfolio. So he took my portfolio and submitted it to the calendar committee.

And then they chose me. So I was kind of like pushed into it, which is kind of cool. I look back on it and I'm thankful for it now. But that it wasn't my personality. I was just like a very much I want to sit around and you know mess around at the restaurant and just work and do my thing and go. I was never a flashy person who was going to be on a yacht or in this fancy place in Bahamas. It just wasn't me. But it was just you kind of got to remember who you are and where you come from in moments like that because it will go to your head really quickly.

Well, as I was going through it, and I'm really segueing here because this kind of just came to me, I heard that at the time and that you love to play poker. Yes. And I don't know if you know who Annie Duke is. No, I don't. Annie Duke is one of the most famous female poker players.

I think she's won five million dollars and she's stopped now. But interestingly enough, when she was at her height, part of the reason she was so good is she was one or two classes away from getting a PhD in behavior science. And so she really used the core learnings of what she was doing to understand how to play poker. Is it something you still do? No. And the funny thing was, when you go on these shows, the producers sit down with you and they kind of grab something

that they want you to be representing. So at the time, we were just having Tuesday night poker games at the house, like $10 buy-ins. We'd have our chips and we'd play until the end. You win like 80 bucks. It wasn't really a big thing. It was just something fun to do. But for me, I never played poker.

So I learned and then I was starting to like learn how to like mess with people or trick them or whatever. So it was just kind of something fun. And then the producers grabbed that and ran with it. And I'm like, I'm really not that good. I promise. You know, Lady, I'm really not that good. I promise. You know, and Lady Gaga's song was really popular then. So it was like this whole thing. But I don't play poker.

I enjoy it, but I'm not good at it. I think my favorite part of the video was when you give your poker face. That was pretty funny. We had a good time. I mean, the one thing that's cool about that that you never realize is there's so much that go into these big productions. It's not just them filming and then they put it out. Like there's so many cuts and editing and questions and things that go into it.

And I was really taken back because I'm like, wow, they took all the best parts of me and made them visible to everyone else. So that was really neat. Well, I mean, you don't even see it on this show. One to two minutes of taping turns into a whole bunch of editing that you don't even know about. Because you get the tape then you've got to go through it. Then you've got to go through the edits. Then you get it back. Then you've got to go through it again. So it's a lot. And then you've got to figure out how you want to use it in shorts and everything. Well how do you think that this whole winning the competition. How did that influence you personally from a personal growth

standpoint. And how did that have bearing on where your career ended up going. So not to keep beating a dead horse. But when you grow up the way that I did you always feel like you're not enough or you always feel like I could never do that or I'll never be successful like that. But in that moment, it was so emotional because I was like, man, I just beat out thousands of the most beautiful women on this planet, right? Cause it's international. And that was just a moment like, man, I had such a strong support system from the internet. Clearly the internet liked me, which I was thankful for.

At home, we were in a really good position. Things were just kind of taking a turn. So that moment was kind of like the fire that lit me. It's like, if I can do this, I can do anything. And then from there, it was just, I did that. Everything I've done or worked on, I've just always tried to go to the top. Yeah, and you made a significant career shift after this,

and you ended up going into real estate and I don't think you and I have ever discussed it, but I have a real estate license and I was actually the CEO of a company called By Owner and By Owner. And once I got into it, I didn't realize all the different aspects of real estate and depending on if you're doing commercial or residential how much it entails. So it was a significant shift. What motivated you to want to get into that and make that your career?

In my life, people have always influenced me so I've never really like made a decision like I'm going to be a real estate agent now. I was in a group of people, you know, in'm like, you'd make a really great real estate agent. And I'm like, what? Real estate's for old ladies with white hair and big cheetah print shirts. That's what I thought a real estate agent was. They're like, no, no, no, real estate agents are sleek

and they're cool and they're young, and young people are getting their real estate license. And I'm like, all right, I'll think about it. And then I had some downtime. I was in between jobs. I was like, what can I do to get out of this rut of selling beer, being in a restaurant, not that there's anything wrong with it.

I just wanted more for myself. So I was like, well, let's do it. It took me so long while I was working because real estate's a lot of law. So studying has never been my forte. School was definitely never my forte. So I'm like, oh my gosh, I have 19 chapters of all this law stuff to learn. That was a lot.

So did that, and then finally when I got my license, I think it was just like the moment where everything I learned in the past and what was ahead of me in the future collided because it clicked. I was like, man, I love this. I did my first transaction in the first 30 days and it was game over after that. I've always loved it clicked. I was like, man, I love this. I did my first transaction in the first 30 days, and it was game over after that.

I've always loved it now. I have to tell you, and I've never talked about this at all on the show, my first three transactions, I worked so hard to get them, and each one ended up having a different issue, and not one of them went through. And probably the most disturbing one for me is I was representing this person who didn't disclose to me

that his property was on a sinkhole and that he had done repairs, et cetera. And there's this young lady who's buying the house. She's 27, 28 years old and very naive. And I'm talking to this gentleman because he doesn't disclose it to me. I found out doing my own research, and I go to him and I said, I have to disclose this. We have no other choice.

Or else I can get sued, you can get sued. And he goes, and he was gonna have me do 14, 15 other jobs. And he said, if you disclose this, he goes, I'm never gonna work with you again. And I think some, we all think about these choices that we have to make. And you know I talk a lot about it on the show that it's so important to follow your values. Absolutely. And this was one of those things that to me it was a black and white. But I mean in the end it did cost me that relationship. Yeah. But I don't think I could have slept with myself if that.

Have you been faced with situations like that? Yes, so I mean, every real estate transaction is very risky, and people think real estate agents are just like car salesmen, we're a dime a dozen, we don't really serve a purpose, AI is gonna take us out, but there's never anything that will be able to replace intuition, values, and just overall care and concern for another human being.

So real estate's not just facilitating paperwork to sell a house, you know this. You're a therapist, you're a babysitter, you go down the line of all the things. And so I feel like in those situations, because I've definitely been faced with them with new construction builders or different people who are like, well if you do this we'll give you these ten other deals but you can't sleep at night because you're like, well you cut that corner and I just saw what you did there and you're not telling them the full story and we are, you know, we're stuck in a position where we can't tell them information without being unfaithful to your fiduciary

duty or your client per se. But yeah, it's very scary. It's not just as easy as people think it is. There's a lot of risk. Now, well, the other thing that I know is that while I was doing it and people like yourself that I know who do it, I mean, there's a lot of work. You're working weekends, you're working nights. If you're trying to pull a deal together, you kind of have to get that bid in and everything.

In order to achieve success. So how did you balance your whole real estate career with raising your son Logan I didn't. I was you 100% honest, I mean he was my assistant for the first 2 years he went everywhere with me he opened doors with me he did you know showings and stuff with me. He was like my little sidekick because I didn't have any option.

I didn't wanna have him be with a babysitter or anything else. Thankfully, his father is there and takes good care of him, but still, I didn't wanna lose all that time. And like you said, real estate's 24-7. So I could have easily said, take him, and then I could have every minute of every day filled with something real estate related. So at a point after I got into it said, take him, and then I could have every minute of every day filled with something real estate related.

So at a point after I got into it and was doing well, I had to take a step back and take like a little hiatus to say, what am I doing? What's important to me? How do I navigate this? That this is gonna be a long-term thing. Yeah, and for someone who's listening, because I think this is something

that a lot of listeners probably are faced with is, regardless of what career you're in, a lot of times you wanna give your all to it, but it's got ramifications, it did for me. How did you go through that process of coming to that conclusion that it was in the best interest of everyone to take that step back, and what would you recommend

to other people who might find themselves there? For me, it was a client that was just unruly, that demanded every ounce of me, and it was not for that much money. I mean, yes, it's not fully money-driven, but we have to pay our bills. And so this person I was just hanging on for dear life because I didn't want to lose the sale,

I didn't want to lose the contract, didn't want to lose the commission, and it just got to the point where when it closed, I like I'm never answering that person's phone call again I don't care what they come to the table with because I had to put a hard line in the sand you know you are allowed to have hours you allowed to have your own personal life and people that want to work with you and respect you will respect those boundaries so that was something that I had to kind of tell myself and tell everyone around me because you know you're nurturing new agents that are hungry and they want to

do anything and everything, as did I. But at some point, your mental health is priority, your family is priority, and your own personal physical health, and that is a priority. So you have to, no matter what, as hard as it is, you have to figure out what you need and what can just be kind of done later.

Okay, well, I love that answer. And in the book, I have this chapter called The Mosquito Auditor. And I picked this term, the mosquito, because I was thinking about the invisible influences that get in our way. These people who just seem to derail us from the course that we wanna take in life. And I'm going to talk a little bit more

about this as we go into your next chapter. But what you just reminded me of is when I think about mosquitoes I define three of them. There's the blood sucker the invisible suffocator and the pain in the ass. And that one that you were just describing is the blood sucker where it's like they want every ounce of blood that they can get from you because they think that no one exists besides them. Or that no one should exist other than them which is another hard thing too because you have to balance that relationship of the emotional expectation of each person and what that looks like because some buyers and sellers don't want to be messed with they just want you to do your job and then give them the check at the end. And then other people want to be involved

in every single line item of the transaction. And then some people trust you fully. Some people want, there's so many different things so you have to really learn how to, as a good agent and as a good human, learn that person before you decide to take them on as a client. You know, that's a big thing.

Because you'll run into those bloodsuckers more often than not. I remember I was interviewing for this high profile job one time and they asked me, what's your leadership style? And the answer I gave them was, it's situational. And they didn't like it. But I said, every single person's different.

So how you approach a situation or an individual, it's different depending on the situation itself and who that person is, because you gotta understand what motivates them and use that as. Yeah, you have to, and a lot of people use the word chameleon in such a bad term, but you really do have to be a chameleon in this industry, because you have to kind of adhere to the situation

that you're in, of course, still holding your values and your core things, but you do have to adapt to each one. You know, you might need to be a little bit more emotional and sensitive for a woman who's going through a divorce and needs help, or, you know, someone like a businessman who doesn't need you as much, kind of be off and just give them the black and white of everything. So it's just, it is very situational. I agree with you 100%. So now I want to jump into what is going to be my favorite part of this discussion, which is discussing something that I love, which is fitness.

And you and I originally met probably at 5 o'clock in the morning at the gym where I see you five days a week. For those who listen to this show and don't believe that I get up that early in the morning, you've got a witness here who sees me all the time. And she's in there before me. Yeah. 4.30 every morning, usually about two hours a day. So when I first met you, I knew that you loved to do fitness and that it had been a constant in your life.

But where in this world did this interest evolve into your serious pursuit of bodybuilding? Oh yeah. So ever since I was in high school, I had food poisoning when I was a sophomore in high school, which I lost 82 pounds. I was hospitalized because I couldn't eat, they couldn't really figure out what was wrong with me. I ended up getting strep throat along the way, which was even harder for me to eat and recover.

So, when I got out of the hospital, I was like 117 pounds, which I was a pretty hefty young kid. I ate what I could when I couldn't, you know, whatever. So they put me into physical therapy, and at that time, which I was a pretty hefty young kid. I ate what I could when I could, you know, whatever. So they put me into physical therapy, and at that time, physical therapy was in a lot of these big gyms. So Gold's Gym had its own physical therapy section. So I go in there, I've never stepped foot in a gym

in my life, and I walk in and I'm like, who are all these beautiful people? You know, where do you hide every day? And so back then you get three free workouts with a trainer and the whole thing to get you to join. I fell in love. It was instant. So it's always been a staple for me

as part of mental health and physical health to take care of myself and prioritize my health. So as the years went on, it's always been there. And then I got married before and my husband was into fitness as well, so that was something that we had in common. And then as we got further into the relationship, it became an insecurity for him.

So me going to the gym became an insecurity for him, so he wanted to do what he could to keep me out of the gym. Long story short, I fell out of it, I gained a lot of weight, I was really unhappy with myself. The marriage ended and I had to kind of take my power back. It didn't end in a good way. Unfortunately it was a physical altercation. And when you're a strong independent woman and you've got someone who's trying to take that away from you it becomes deep deep deep rooted. So from that point forward I was on a mission. I was hell-bent to figure out what I could do to get my power back.

And I started going to the gym again. And I was like, man, I remember what this feels like. This is me. This is what I do. This is how I, this like defines me and who I am. You know, on top of being successful, it was just something like if you're successful and then you look successful, you're even more powerful.

So that was just kind of like where that all started. And then I got a wild hair up my rear one day and I'm like, I'll do a competition because you know how hard it could be. I've already done a million bikini contests. I've already been on TV. I've done all this stuff. It can't be that difficult.

Little did I know. I hired my coach and then I learned really quickly what the difference between somebody who just goes to the gym and a bodybuilder was. Well, I remember when you started and people can't see you because you're sitting down, but I remarked to some of the people we were talking to before,

you were like a third smaller than you are now because you've put on so much muscle mass. And when I follow you on the socials and I see you in the gym and how many hours you're devoting, this decision to turn pro in bodybuilding, it's like no joke, it's no small feat at all. What were some of the major mindset shifts and different things you had to do throughout your day

to achieve this level of success, because you went from basically not even being a blip on the screen to all of a sudden winning competitions in a matter of 12, 18 months. Yeah, so you have to think, like, our world is so inundated with unhealthy things. On the go, quick and easy, fad things, you know,

this is a quick way to lose weight, this and that. So you learn really quickly when you're preparing for a bodybuilding competition what really is healthy and what's not healthy, which you'd be very surprised if you looked at our food that we take in. Activity versus resting because so many people think you have to just work out, work out, work out, work out, work out without resting, which is another huge thing.

And then just prioritizing how you're doing things in the gym and what level of intensity that you're doing. So all of those things were a huge wake up call when you really truly learn what it takes. But once you get in that pocket, it's almost like you never see anything the same ever again and you just get into that mode. So you have a formula, you follow the formula,

you get to A. You make a new formula, you get to A. You make a new formula, you get to B. You make a new formula and you just learn your body and what it does and how it responds to get you to each new level. Well, I was recently watching the Arnold Schwarzenegger documentary, which I thought was great. Yes, he's amazing. Well, because I don't think people realize, like, the amount of effort that he put in. I think a lot of people think, well, he just had this build and it was natural and it kind of a mission

well when that's how I look at you like you are on this mission to be the best and coming from where you were to this it I think people have these goals and they think that it's too lofty a goal to pursue and when I look back from where you were to where you are now, you could say the same thing about your journey. Like, what would you be your advice, like, if someone, it doesn't have to be bodybuilding, but whatever they want to achieve, like, how do you start? And like, how do you keep it going?

It's about the little wins. So people will sometimes look at things like, when I started, I didn't say, I'm gonna be an IFBB pro. That's a really far away goal. First you gotta step on stage, then you've gotta win something, and then you can, you know, so it's about winning small things each day, and that's in anything you do.

If you wake up and you check off everything on your to-do list that day, that's a win. You can start the next day with a fresh slate, or if you have a couple things left, put those on another list and start your new list. But it's about just being consistent with the things that need to get done and checking the boxes.

It doesn't need to be a huge grand thing. It doesn't need to be something that's like a major undertaking. It doesn't have to be life-changing. It just needs to be small little things that you see over time become really big things. Yeah, and I love that because so many people come to me and they say, I don't have the confidence to take the action to do it or I don't have the courage to do it.

And what I tell them is you've got the equation wrong. You've got to take action to create courage and to create the confidence that's going to make you start taking bolder action. Yeah, but if you don't take action at all, you're gonna just sit here spinning. Do you think that's accurate? Absolutely, and how many times a day does somebody say I just wish I had a body like you or I wish I could do what you do and I look at them and I'm like if you really wanted to you would and that's the bottom line Like I'm a no BS person when it comes to that because you can 100% do anything you put your mind to.

Anything. But if you don't think you can do it, of course you're never gonna achieve it. And if you don't think you can do it, you're not gonna take the steps that it takes to get to that level either. So there's people in the gym that have better bodies than I do and they would never think of competing.

But if they did and they wanted to, they'd probably be know be a little bit further. Just depends. So when I think of bodybuilding it's really an intense discipline and it requires eating habits sleep habits. You probably can't drink because you're trying to keep your body fat. But it takes a lot of time because it's not just going to the gym. It's the mental preparation, it's everything else. How do you balance being a pro with your career in real estate and motherhood? So for me, I had to draw a hard line in the sand that the things I needed for myself came first. So meal prep comes first.

I do it once a week. Everything with my schedule, the gym is a non-negotiable. So I'm up at 4.30 before anyone else gets up. That way I can get it done and move on. Because at 8.30 people start waking up and that's when the phone calls start coming and everything like that. So it's just adjusting things on my end and giving things on my end and then having other sacrifices. But in the end it works out for everyone because now I get up early, go to the gym, I'm done for the day so when my son gets home from school, if I don't have any work stuff, we can spend the evening together.

I don't have to worry about going to the gym and doing all that stuff. And my meals are prepped, done and ready so I know exactly what food I need at what time of the day and then it just becomes a routine. And your body will actually start telling you when it's time to eat. So if you're sitting there, it's like 12 o'clock, my stomach's rumbling, I'm like, man, I'm hungry. And I'm like, oh, that's why, because it's 12 o'clock. You know, and it becomes something that your body will tell you.

Same thing with rest and recovery. If you're feeling tired and you're feeling worn down, rest. You're not going to accomplish anything if you go to the gym and push through it or do it anyways. You're hurting yourself. Take the day, sleep for 16 hours if you need to, and start over again the next day. You know, it's just, it's learning your body and what it needs. Yeah, and one of the things I like to talk about

on the show is I think there's this triangle, I like to say, of the combination of passion, perseverance, and then the third ingredient to me is intentionality, because You have to be intentional about aligning your actions with your ambitions and your aspirations How have you learned to get that equation right? Oh boy. I Think it just kind of what I just said it's just figuring out what that routine looks like for you How that works with you know, everyone in your family your work and all that stuff, and then just committing

to it. Yeah. Well, I know that when you want to do anything that's personal growth related, it's going to come with obstacles. And I remember for you, and I'm going back to the mosquitoes, as I saw you start to get success, I started seeing mosquitoes coming out of the woodwork, starting to try to dampen the progression that you were making.

So can you talk about that? Because I don't think it matters whether it's doing what you're doing, or anything else. But I think when you start creating this new life you envision for yourself, and then you start going to reinvent yourself, because that's what it entails,

all of a sudden you're showing up differently. Yes. And I think for some people, it's jealousy. I think for some people, it could be there's this Maria we don't know anymore, but I myself, as I've gone on this journey, have gotten just a ton of pushback. And sometimes it's been shocking to me

because it comes from the people who you would have thought you were closest to. What has happened in your situation and how have you had to deal with that? So when I first started training it was almost like we'll see if she ends up doing it right we'll just kind of sit back and watch and I did it and I got I did my first show and everybody was so proud of me right everyone's yay she did it she did it And then it was the next step. It's like, okay, I've got to go back into an off season. Still, everyone's supporting, everyone's supporting.

But then when I committed to competing for my qualification to GoPro, people were like, oh, what does that mean? What do you have to do? And then you're answering questions. And it's like nothing different than what I was doing a year ago. It's just a little bit more, like my body's different now,

so it responds differently. But when I got into that point that I was going to Texas for my qualification and I was fully depleted, I was just sunken face the whole night, people were like, you look disgusting. Why would you do that to yourself? Then all the people that were supporting you were going, well, you're doing too much.

You shouldn't go that far. You don't need to do that. You that, what are you doing this for, you're not making any money, and it was like questioning all the things that they once supported. So for me I was really confused because I was like, well hold on, I thought you were supporting me, and then it became a really dark place. But in that dark place is where you dig

and you really figure out, do you really wanna do this, is it really worth it to you, and you really figure out who loves you really wanna do this? Is it really worth it to you? And you really figure out who loves you. And that was a big thing for me because I lost a lot of people when I transitioned from a regular person to a bodybuilder because people don't understand it. And it also shines a light on the dark places

that they don't wanna look at themselves. Yeah, well, to me, a lot of it gets into self doubt or fear. And I would think anyone who's making a change has got self-doubt. I actually find that the higher achiever you are, the more imposter syndrome and some of these things come in. But to me, bodybuilding would be one of these things where self-doubt could really creep in

because it's so easy to look at another bodybuilder and say, oh my God god look at how great they look this and that. How do you maintain motivation especially when you've got doubts about... I just look at Instagram. No honestly I learned this past year was a huge year of growth for me. I just learned that you got to focus on what makes you happy and what caters to and care you love on the people around you. You want to support them and love on them too. And then it will all full circle come back to you.

Once you weed out all the bad people, you'll really find that core of what you need to. But to keep that motivation, you just got to think of like, what am I doing this for? And you always have to remember and remind yourself that this is why and then constantly asking yourself, do you still want to continue to do that? I mean, there's plenty of people who get pro and then they stop they quit because they achieve that goal and they don't have to Prove anything anymore. But you know if you want to continue there's another Yellow brick road down the road you can go to so it's personal but personal So you have been extremely intentional about achieving this goal

So you have been extremely intentional about achieving this goal, but I don't think that this is the only place you're intentional because, like you said, I know a lot of people who practice real estate, but I think it's like any career. There's only a fraction of them who really know how to blow it out. And I think the level of intentionality that you have in bodybuilding, you also take to your real estate career, am I wrong? Nope, you are not wrong. And it was funny because when I first got my license,

I said, I'm gonna make a million dollars, because I thought that $800,000 contract was like me making $800,000. Don't ask me why, it was, whatever, I get it. But I was like, I'm gonna make a million dollars, instead of saying I was gonna make a million dollar sale. So once I got that all figured out, those were my goals. So I wanted to make a million dollar sale, then I wanted to make a million dollars, instead of saying I was gonna make a million dollar sale. So once I got that all figured out, those were my goals. So I wanted to make a million dollar sale,

then I wanted to make five million dollars, and I wanted to do 10 million, to where my ultimate goal was 50 million in a year. And it just took doing the hard stuff to get there, the check in the boxes every day, being intentional with who you're speaking to. And I always tell people, time is money, is what you're doing making you any money.

People sit there all day long and do other things than income producing activities. I always joke around and people around me always say, is that making you money? Is that making you money? Because they know that's what I always tell people, is what you're doing every single day getting you to your goal and making you more money or making you more successful. So I now know you and two other people who are bodybuilders completely, one's a male, and the woman I know competes in a completely different area than you do.

But the one gentleman is doing the Arnold this week, and he's won it the two past years, so this is his third year. You are trying to go for Olympia. Correct. For someone who might be listening who has no idea what we're talking about, what is Olympia and why is that so prestigious?

So Olympia is the very biggest award you can get in the bodybuilding community. So Mr. and Mrs. Olympia goes back way, way back in the day. So for me, being an NPC competitor as an entry level competitor, you win your first show, you become an MPC competitor. Then you have to qualify, and then you win your pro show, which that's what I'm trying to do now,

is to win an actual show as a pro, and then you get an automatic invitation to the Olympia. And then at the Olympia, that's where the big bucks are made. So Mr. Olympia got a half a million dollars, Mrs. Olympia, same thing, you know, each division has a very, very big purse. And anyone who's in bodybuilding knows, the big bucks are made. So Mr. Olympia got a half a million dollars. Mrs. Olympia, same thing. Each division has a very, very big purse. And anyone who's in bodybuilding knows

we don't make any money. We spend way more than we bring in. So to get that, it's not only to be the best out of thousands of athletes from international, again, it's international, and then to say you're the best of that whole division on top of just the best of that whole division on top of you know, just The accomplishment of doing it, you know, that's a that's a huge feat and it takes a really long time to get there

Yeah, so to put maybe Arnold Schwarzenegger's accomplishments into perspective I mean the fact that he kept winning it back to back to back It was no small hurdle because you would think after winning in a couple times You might lose all the motivation to keep on competing. No then you got to be careful that the young ones don't come to your title. So I'm a master's competitor. So that's 35 years old and up. So as a master I didn't go pro as a master which a lot of people get mad about because like oh you're old. You should be in the old people class. But like I got my pro card in the open division, which is all the young girls. So that was really cool So for me that was just a validation that I could go to the Olympia and still feel very confident that I have a long

Road ahead of me not being a Masters competitor so What is next for you, you know, I know for you balance in life is extremely important What do you hope in the future for your ambitions, your fitness goals, your family responsibilities? Like, where does this go from here? So this year, after going pro, I was able to kind of like pump the brakes for a second.

So when I came off stage in September, I was under the impression that we weren't really going to do anything this year because I still have a lot of growing to do to compete with the girls that are at the Olympia and pro status. Come to find out, I'm not really that far off. So we're kind of like chipping away. So the training and all that stuff was still as intense, all that. But I also got engaged over Christmas, which didn't see it coming, but kind of knew it was going to happen because once Matt and I met it was just instantaneous and he is a bodybuilder as well. So that's kind of like a unicorn to find something like that, someone who understands you. But it was just kind of a moment to say, all right, well now I've got to plan a wedding.

I've got a teenager who's going into high school. And you know, life and real estate, this market is insane right now. So you can't just get a deal and close it. A couple years ago, we were just raking it in. But now, you've got to put more work and more effort. You've got to really get out there and put yourself out there and rise above everyone else that became a real estate agent in that time.

So it's just been a lot of taking back, reassessing everything, and then reprioritizing things. Okay, well I think your story is a great one, and part of the reason I wanted you on the show today is because I try to bring people on the show that people can relate to. Because I think sometimes if you bring someone on who's too lofty, it's hard for people to realize

how do you make those changes, but to me, you're a real-life Example of trying to live your dream in progress And so I think a lot of the stuff you talked about today was really relatable to the audience Now I have two final fun questions So the late late night show which you and I don't get to watch because we're in bed a long time before that But one of my favorite things on it is they do car karaoke Okay, if you ever were the host of the show and you got to do car karaoke

With another person artist who would it be? Oh, man So I don't listen to mainstream music. I listen to Christian music. So for me, I would go definitely on the side of elevation worship or a group, because these groups are just so full of energy and so exciting. So I would definitely go with elevation worship so we could pack a van and really get some good tunes going. Interestingly enough, about six months ago, I happened to be

out at a restaurant with a friend of mine. And he goes, I want to introduce you to this guy named Jonathan. And Jonathan just looks like a rock star. I mean, he's got the tats, he's wearing that. I mean, you can just kind of tell. And so I asked him, I'm like, what's your background? He goes, well, I just moved here from Nashville. And he goes, I was a touring lead guitarist for many years. And it turns out he was the lead guitarist for Chris Tomlin.

And he lives here in St. Pete. And I didn't realize they're on the road 250 days a year, and it was just too much. But yeah, he lives here. Because not only are they singing, but they're also doing sermons and all the other events and everything else. But yeah, they're busy, busy, busy. Okay. And then I have one other fun question for you, and that is, we just put, for the first time since the 70s, a rocket on the moon. Oh boy.

So my question is, if you got selected by NASA to be an astronaut, and you were one of the first astronauts that got sent to Mars, you were that first group, and when you land, they said, we're gonna hereby anoint the five or six of you to set the laws and edicts for Mars. What's one that you would wanna set? Oh boy. A law that I would wanna implement. Or principle. No politics.

No politics. Nobody's gonna reign over anyone. We're all gonna figure this out together. Okay, no politics, no politics. Nobody's going to reign over anyone. We're all going to figure this out together. Okay, well, that's great. Well, Marie, thank you so much for joining us today. It was such a pleasure to have you. Thank you so much for having me. I thoroughly enjoyed that interview with Maria Butler.

And I wanted to thank Marie for joining us on today's program. Links to all things Marie will be in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Our videos are on YouTube where we have over 250,000 subscribers. You can go to either John R. Miles, our main channel, or Passion Struck Clips to subscribe. Advertiser deals and discount codes are in one community place at passionstruck.com slash deals. Please consider supporting those who support the show. I'm at John R. Miles on all the social platforms where I post daily.

And you can also sign up for our weekly newsletter titled Live Intentionally and join over 30,000 subscribers. Each week throughout 2024, we are doing a Boundary Expanding Challenge to help you grow on your own journey of becoming passion struck. You're about to hear a preview of the Passion Star podcast interview that I did with Sean Foley, who is a golf instructor who has coached some of the biggest name pro golfers that you know, including Justin Rose, Tiger Woods, Lee Westwood, Steven Ames, Danny Willett, Sean O'Hare, Hunter Mahan, Lydia Ko, and Son Yolno. And in this episode, we do a deep dive into his journey to becoming a coach, his philosophies and his life advice. Absolutely an episode you don't want to miss. When you look at the brain and its function, or you look at our ancestors and how they

behaved and why they behaved and what it was all about, I think what it does is allows me now to have kind of less shame and guilt for being what I've been designed to be. And so being insecure is completely necessary to survival. It really is. When you become secure that you're insecure, it's all good, right? When you can show weakness in front of a camera to the whole world, that's a superpower.

It's not a problem. And so I think that's really what we need to look at is what is it that we need to do? But unfortunately, our economy works on a robotization of human beings. And as Chomsky discussed, an assembly line, who's your favorite sports team, sweet 16 birthday, and we all just run through the same narrative that just builds consumption and it's an economy.

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