Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Master Self-Awareness by Becoming the Best Version of You w/John R. Miles EP 292

Episode Date: May 12, 2023

Embark on a journey of self-discovery as host John R. Miles guides listeners through the power of introspection and personal growth, exploring the vital components of self-awareness to unlock the mysteries of the inner self. And in case you didn't already know it, John R. Miles (@John_R_Miles) takes your comments and questions for Momentum Friday right here every week! If you want him to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Momentum Friday episodes, drop us a line at [e-mail]. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://passionstruck.com/master-self-awareness/  What I Discuss About the How Knowing Yourself Leads You to Become the Best Version of You In this episode, I will be embarking on a profound journey of self-knowledge. I delve into the multifaceted dimensions that contribute to personal growth. In this exploration, I unravel the intricate tapestry of our being, uncovering invaluable insights to navigate life's intricate pathways. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [e-mail]! Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMiles and on Instagram at @john_R_Miles. Prefer to watch this episode: https://youtu.be/2dRZ0VFtIjg  Subscribe to our main YouTube Channel Here: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles Subscribe to our YouTube Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@passionstruckclips Brought to you by Fabric. Go to Apply today in just 10 minutes at https://meetfabric.com/passion. Brought to you by Hello Fresh. Use code passionstruck16 to get 16 free meals, plus free shipping!” Brought to you by Indeed. Head to https://www.indeed.com/passionstruck, where you can receive a $75 credit to attract, interview, and hire in one place. Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally! Want to find your purpose in life? I provide my six simple steps to achieving it - passionstruck.com/5-simple-steps-to-find-your-passion-in-life/ Want to hear my best interviews from 2022? Check out episode 233 on intentional greatness and episode 234 on intentional behavior change. Learn more about John: https://johnrmiles.com/ 

Coming up next on Passion Struck, have you ever found yourself feeling lost? Unsure of who you are and what you truly want. It's time to discover the power of knowing yourself and unlocking the key, living a limitless life. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John Armiles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance

of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guest-ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hello everyone and welcome back to Momentum Friday in episode 292 of PassionStruck. Ranked by Apple as one of the top 20 health podcasts.

And thank you to each and every one of you who comes back weekly to listen, learn, how to live better, be better, and impact the world. And if you didn't know, PassionStruck is now also on syndicated radio. We are part of the AMFM247 National Broadcast, and you can listen to us every Monday and Friday from 5 to 6 p.m. on Apple Music, Tunin,

or a number of different channels across the country, which will be in the show notes. If you're new to the show, thank you so much for being here, or if you would just like to introduce this to a friend or family member, we now have episodes starter packs. These are collections of our fans' favorite episodes that we organize in convenient topics. I give any new listener a great way to get acclimated to everything we do here on the show. Either go to passionstruck.com, slash starter packs, or Spotify to get acclimated to everything we do here on the show. Either go to passionstruck.com slash starter packs or Spotify to get started.

And in case you missed it earlier this week, I interviewed Dr. C. McDermott, who is a precision wellness practitioner and holds a doctor of philosophy and integrative nutrition. C focuses on preventing disease and optimizing lifestyle through nutrition, behavioral change, mindset, and stress management. C is the author of the International Best Selling Book, Your DNA, Your Life. I also interviewed Tunday, Subbomahine, and Sam Sidel about their book, Creative Hustle. We discuss how to harness your creativity, blaze your own path, and make work that matters. Please check them all out, and if you liked either of those episodes or today's, please consider giving us a five-star rating and review.

Those reviews go such a long way in helping us improve the popularity of the show, but more importantly, bringing people into the Passion Struck community where we can teach them how to live a Passion Struck life. I also wanted to acknowledge our fan from the week Yeppie from Australia, who writes, a wonderful and inspiring podcast. I enjoyed listening to the Passion Struck podcast very much, and I've learned so much. I find his talks and interviews gin-win, inspiring, and uplifting. I highly recommend this podcast to everyone. Thank you, Yepi, for taking the time to write that review. We so appreciate it. Now, let's talk about

today's episode. Aristotle was right. Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. Who are you really? It's a question that we all ask ourselves at some point in our lives. But when did you last really spend time doing self-discovery? In a world full of distractions and expectations, discovering your true self can seem like an impossible task by delving into introspection and reflection. Today's episode will examine various aspects of self-knowledge, to aid in personal growth, I will explore how identifying your strengths

and weaknesses and help foster self-love while aligning personal interest with professional pursuits. By breaking free from destructive thought patterns and cultivating mindfulness techniques or managing negative emotions effectively, you'll enhance empathy in relationships, while building stronger bonds with loved ones. The journey of self-discovery is not only liberating, it's essential, so take a deep breath and join me on this journey to unlock the mysteries of your inner self. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey,'re creating an intentional life now. Let that journey begin. [♪ process may be challenging, but ultimately you will find that it is so

rewarding. To begin this journey of knowing yourself, it's crucial to identify what truly matters to you. Reflect on the ideas that guide your choices, as well as your actions by inquiring, what do I believe in? Or what am I willing to fight for? I recommend creating a list of personal values that are non-negotiables in your life, and I'll provide an example list in the show notes to help get you started. Who are the highest values based on their importance to you, and then regularly revisit the list and make necessary adjustments as you grow over time. Acknowledging both our strengths and weaknesses is vital when striving towards greater self-awareness.

Recognizing areas where we excel allows us to build upon them while being aware of our shortcomings provides growth opportunities and breaks all aspects of yourself without judgment. And remember that nobody is perfect. So here's an exercise that I recommend you do. First, list five things that come natural or easy to you. Think of these as your strengths. Then, note any areas where you struggle or feel challenged.

These are naturally your weaknesses. Then, develop a plan, leverage your strengths, and address your weaknesses, continuously revisiting your personal growth journey, and being willing to adjust as needed. We'll ensure that you are developing and understanding yourself. Remember that knowing yourself is not a one-time activity, but an ongoing process, requiring consistent reflection and evaluation. By committing to self-examination, embracing your positives, and recognizing where

you can grow, you will be better positioned to develop meaningful connections with others both professionally and personally. A crucial aspect of knowing yourself involves understanding how others perceive situations differently based on their unique experiences and perspectives. Developing empathy permits us to envision ourselves in another person's place and better comprehend their sentiments or feelings without passing judgment. In order to do this, there are three steps that I recommend. The first is to practice active listening, practice truly hearing what other people are saying by giving them undivided attention during conversations.

This means putting away distractions like your phone or laptops and being fully engaged with the other person. The second is cultivating mindfulness by staying present during interactions, rather than getting lost in our thoughts. And this is something that is in particular hard for me to do. So don't feel alone if this is difficult for you as well. Cultivating mindfulness helps us to remain open-minded when considering other people's viewpoints.

Instead of immediately dismissing them. Third, cultivate compassion, recognize that everyone has faced challenges that have shaped who they are today. Try extending kindness towards those around you, even if you don't always agree with their actions or opinions. We can deepen our self-knowledge and build more meaningful connections by fostering understanding and sympathy for those around us. Exploring one's inner self can be beneficial, enabling you to realize your full potential. Now, let's explore the understanding of your vitals, to further refine and empower yourself. Developing self-awareness is a journey that requires you to dive deep into your inner world.

One way to navigate this process is by understanding your vitals, an acronym that was coined by Meg Selig, which stands for Values, Interests, Temperament around the clock, Activities, Life Mission, and Goals, and Strengths. Let's take a closer look at each one of these components and how they can help us better understand ourselves. Values are the principles that guide our actions,

behaviors, and decisions. By identifying our values, we can make better choices and ensure they align with our beliefs and convictions. Knowing our values also helps us to set priorities and decide what is most important in our lives. Interests are the things that spark our curiosity and excite us. Knowing our interests helps us find our passions and engage in activities that bring us joy and fulfillment. Pursuing our interests makes us more likely passions and engage in activities that bring us joy and fulfillment. Pursuing our interests makes us more likely to find meaning and purpose.

Temperament refers to our natural tendencies and inclinations. Understanding our temperament helps us work with our strengths and our weaknesses and find ways to manage our emotions and reactions in different situations. By knowing our temperament, we can also improve our communication, collaboration, and relationships. Attitude is our mindset and outlook on life. It's how we approach challenges and opportunities. A positive attitude can help us overcome obstacles and solve problems.

It can help us to cultivate resilience and maintain a sense of hope and optimism. Life mission is our purpose in life. It's what gives us meaning and drives us forward. Knowing our life mission helps us to align our decisions and actions with our goals and aspirations. It also helps us to stay motivated and focused on the most important things in our life. Strengths are our natural talents and abilities. By identifying our strengths, we can find ways to develop and use them.

It also helps us to identify improvement areas and seek opportunities to learn and grow. By exploring these aspects of yourself, you can make decisions that are aligned with your authentic self and create lasting relationships. This understanding can help you make better decisions, pursue your passions, and find fulfillment. We can refine our vitals by regularly reassessing them and adjusting as we grow and change. Next, I'm going to go through a few of the components of vital in more detail. Understanding your temperament and its effect on how you relate to the world is essential for making decisions that align with your true identity and fostering meaningful relationships. It's critical to understand where your energy comes from, whether through socializing or spending time alone, and how you also handle life stressors.

Various personality frameworks are available online, such as the Myrors Briggs type indicator, or the Enagram personality types, and I'll put links to both of those in the show notes. These tools can help you identify key traits that shape your interactions with others. Next, let's go into discovering your life's mission. Finding meaning in life is crucial for personal growth and developing better self-awareness. Reflect on past experiences that have been the

most meaningful to you. What themes emerge? Are they recurring passions or goals? Identifying these patterns will help you to clarify your purpose moving forward. Here's an action step that you can take. Over the next week, take some time out of each day to reflect on moments where you feel truly alive. You have felt awe in the past, or things that bring you immense joy. Jot down notes about those different experiences, and see if any recurring patterns emerge. Now that you better understand your character and life's same, let's inspect how to adjust these understandings with your hobbies and job objectives. Your passions are the driving force. Behind what makes you feel alive, identifying activities or hobbies that bring you joy

or fulfillment makes it easier to incorporate them into your career or find ways to share those experiences with others. For instance, if staying in shape is something that you're passionate about, why not think about teaching at a fitness club, or perhaps joining a running club. When we pursue our passions in both personal and professional realms, we experience greater overall satisfaction as well. So I'll give you an action step to do here as well. Make a list of three activities that genuinely excite you.

Brainstorm ways to incorporate them into different aspects of your life, your career, and relationships. Beyond knowing yourself on an individual level through vitals exploration, developing self-awareness also involves how external factors impact us emotionally. This includes being mindful of our reactions, when faced with challenging situations and understanding other people's influence on our thoughts and feelings. By understanding your vitals, you can gain clarity on who you are and what makes you unique. Now it's time to develop self-worth through introspection. To overcome self-doubt and cultivate self-confidence,

it's no secret that self-worth plays a significant role in the quality of our relationships. The higher our estimation of ourselves, the more capable we are of selecting companions who show us esteem and affection. But how do you develop this elusive self-worth? One powerful method is introspection. We all experience moments of self-doubt, but when these feelings become chronic, they can seriously damage our ability to form healthy connection with others.

By taking time for introspection, examining your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs about yourself, you can begin to challenge negative assumptions and build a stronger foundation for lasting relationships. A great way to start is by practicing mindful meditation. This practice helps you to observe your thoughts without judgment or attachment, to identify patterns that may be holding you back. From fully embracing your worthiness, a great resource for learning about mindfulness is headspace, an app designed to help you develop your meditation skills step by step. Jotting down your reflections and sentiments regularly can assist you in understanding how your mind works, thus making for an outstanding way of increasing self-awareness.

Another area to look at is vulnerability. René Brown's research on vulnerability has shown that embracing our imperfections is crucial for developing deep connections with others. By being open about our struggles and insecurities, we invite others into a space where they feel safe and able to share their own vulnerabilities, which ultimately leads to stronger bonds that are based on trust and understanding. To practice vulnerability in relationships, try these different tips.

First, share your feelings, open up about what's going on inside, both the positive emotions like joy or excitement, and the challenging ones like sadness or frustration. Another thing you can do is show empathy. When someone shares their feelings with you, listen attentively without judgment. Validate their experience by acknowledging that it's real for them, even if it's something that you've not personally experienced.

Incorporating introspection into your daily routine can lead to significant improvements in self-worth over time, paving the way for healthier relationships based on mutual respect, love, support, empathy, and other essential qualities that are necessary for long-lasting happiness. By delving into our innermost deaths and examining ourselves, we can develop a sturdy basis of self-esteem. This will help us to break free of destructive thought patterns and cultivate genuine confidence. In our quest for self-awareness and personal growth, we must recognize the power of our

thoughts. Tiktok not Han said, The mind can go in a thousand directions, But on this beautiful path, I walk in peace. The key to walking that peaceful path is breaking free from destructive thought patterns. That cloud our judgment and prevent clear thinking. Some techniques that you can use to manage these negative thought patterns and emotions are the following. The first is cognitive restructuring.

This technique involves identifying irrational beliefs, such as, I'm not good enough, and replacing them with healthier ones. That is, I have strengths and weaknesses like everyone else. You might find Dr. David Burns' book, Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy, helpful in learning cognitive restructuring techniques. You could also look at the work by Byron Katie. This method involves questioning your thoughts and beliefs to determine whether they're true or not. By examining the validity of our thoughts,

we can often discover that many negative thought patterns are based actually on false assumptions. You can check out the works website in the show notes for more information. A third technique that you can use is mindfulness-based stress reduction, otherwise known as MBSR. Developed by John Kabat-Zinn, MSBR is an eight-week program designed to help individuals cope with stress, pain, and illness through mindfulness practices. You can find online courses at the University of Massachusetts School Center for Mindfulness, which will also be in the show notes. As you work from breaking free from destructive thought patterns, remember that it takes

time and practice. So be patient with yourself as you learn new techniques. Personal growth is a lifelong journey. In his book, The End of Your World, Uncensored Straight Talk on the Nature of Enlightenment, Adia Chante, a renowned spiritual teacher, suggests that living behind layers of assumptions and unexamined beliefs prevents us from seeing things clearly. In the quest for self-awareness and lasting relationships, taking time for self-reflection can be a powerful tool in uncovering our true selves. Not only does it help you identify your core values, but it also allows you to make more well-informed decisions about your life, dedicating time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and actions has numerous benefits. First, it leads to better decision-making. Reflecting on past experiences helps you learn from mistakes and avoid repeating them in

the future. Second, it increases self-awareness, analyzing your emotions, enables you to understand yourself better, and recognize patterns that may hold you back. Third, it promotes personal growth. Identifying areas where improvement is needed, encourages continuous development towards becoming the best version of yourself. Fourth, it fosters emotional intelligence.

Understanding how others perceive your actions, enhances empathy, and essential skill for developing strong relationships. Set aside time each day to reflect on your successes and areas for improvement. Ask yourself, what did I do well today? Where could I have done better? How did my actions affect those around me? Let's face it, sometimes we need external guidance when reflecting upon ourselves.

This is where professional coaches and psychologists come into place. These experts provide valuable insight by helping individuals reflect on their inner thoughts and patterns while offering actionable steps for overcoming impulsivity and weakness. Some popular coaching methods include life coaching where the coaches help their clients identify their goals, create action plans, and provide support throughout the process of achieving them. Another way is cognitive behavior therapy, which is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on changing negative thought patterns and behaviors through problem-solving skills. Learn more about how CBT can improve your self-awareness from this comprehensive guide from the American Psychological Association that I'll put in the show notes. And another one is MBSR, which I talked about earlier. No matter what method you choose, seeking professional guidance can be instrumental in developing

better self-awareness, paving the way towards healthier relationships with yourself and others. Let's face it, knowing yourself is not only crucial for personal growth, but it also plays an integral role in cultivating healthier relationships with others. Developing better self-awareness allows individuals to live more authentic while boosting confidence levels, leading ultimately towards happier and longer lasting connections between partners, family members, friends, and colleagues, as well as greater overall satisfaction within one's own life experiences. After all, isn't this what we're all striving for?

The first step in fostering healthier relationships is enhancing empathy and understanding of those around you. Gaining insights into one's own attributes can assist in recognizing the special characteristics that each person brings to a connection. This increased awareness helps us to become more patient and tolerant of our loved ones' quirks or shortcomings. As we develop greater self-awareness, we become more attuned to our own needs and boundaries. This allows us to communicate these aspects more effectively within our relationships, fostering a sense of mutual respect and understanding. Dr. John Gottom's research on successful relationships

has shown that healthy communication is key in maintaining strong bonds between partners. By knowing ourselves better, we can identify when certain triggers or stressors are affecting our interactions, allowing us the opportunity to address them proactively before they escalate into conflict. And on that note, here's some actional both steps that you can take.

The first is to practice assertive communication by expressing your feelings using I statements, such as I feel hurt when you don't acknowledge my efforts. A second action you can take is to establish clear boundaries for yourself and communicate them effectively. For instance, I need some alone time after work to recharge. Remember, setting boundaries, as I discussed in my interview with Terry Cole, isn't selfish. It's essential for maintaining balance in any relationship. And a third action you can take is to develop a habit of checking in regularly with loved ones or friends about their emotional

well-being. This fosters an environment where everyone feels heard and supported. Incorporating these practices into your daily life will not only improve your existing relationships, but also attract healthier connections moving forward. As Mark Manson put it, the people who enforce their personal boundaries are the ones who experience true love. Exploring oneself and increasing consciousness is an ongoing pursuit, but the advantages of this labor are plentiful. By cultivating healthier relationships, through enhanced empathy, understanding and communication skills, we can experience greater happiness and fulfillment in all aspects of our lives. So in conclusion, knowing yourself is a journey that requires patience, self-reflection,

and a willingness to confront one's strengths and weaknesses. By identifying these traits, we can learn to love and accept ourselves while aligning our personal interest with professional pursuits. Reflecting on oneself is an indispensable part of achieving relationship success. By fostering healthier relationships, through understanding, we can uncover our true selves for lasting happiness by peeling back layers of assumptions and building meaningful connections. At PassionStruck, we believe that knowing yourself is the key to unlocking a limitless life. By understanding your passions and interests, you can create a life that is fulfilled and meaningful.

So take time to explore your interests and passions. What makes you happy? What are your strengths and weaknesses? Reflect on your experiences and how they have shaped you. What have you learned? What would you like to change? And lastly, embrace your true self. By following these steps, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself and create a life

that is aligned with your values and interests. Remember, self discovery is a lifelong journey, and it's never too late to start. Thank you for joining us on today's episode. Please use our website links if you purchase any of the books from the authors that I mentioned in this interview or of any of the guests that we bring on the show, all proceeds go to supporting Passion Struct. Evertiser deals and discount codes are in one convenient place at PassionStruct.com slash deals.

As I mentioned at the beginning of the episode, we are now on syndicated radio Monday and Friday from 5 to 6 p.m. on the AMFM 247 broadcast network. Links will be in the show notes. Videos are on YouTube at both Passion Struck Clips and John Armiles. You can find me on LinkedIn and sign up for my LinkedIn newsletter. You can also find me on Instagram and Twitter at John Armiles.

You're about to hear a preview of an episode that I am so excited about. It's with a person who really needs no introduction and who I have wanted to have on this show since day one. That person is Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, who is the number one ranked executive coach in the world. And we discuss three of Marshall's books, all which are New York Times bestsellers, including triggers. What got you here won't get you there. And it's latest

book that earned life. The people listening to us right now tend to be focused on ambition and achievement. They tend to be goal achievers, they're listening to learn things, and hopefully help them achieve more. And one of the things I talk about that is very important in the earned life is never become addicted to results and never place your values of human being based on results. That's always a mistake. For two reasons. One, you don't control the results. And two, how much longer in peace and happiness do you get after you choose results? A day? A week?

Remember, we rise by lifting others. So share this show with those that you love. And if you found this episode useful on knowing yourself, please share it with somebody else who can use this advice to improve their life. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so that you can live what you listen. And until next time, live life, Ash and struck. you