Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Mastering the Art of Tact w/ John R. Miles EP 45

Episode Date: July 16, 2021

We all have to communicate painful or sensitive information at some point in our careers. And, while it's important, to tell the truth, we need to think about how we do it. Tact allows us to be honest while respecting a person's feelings. Please subscribe, and join me on my new platform for personal development: https://passionstruck.com/. When we communicate tactfully, we can preserve relationships, build credibility, and demonstrate thoughtfulness. In today’s episode of the Passion Struck, John R. Miles examines what tact is, and looks at how you can develop this important quality. John discusses how tact and diplomacy are skills centered around an understanding of other people and being sensitive to their opinions, beliefs, ideas, and feelings. Developing effective tact and diplomacy skills requires practice and good judgment.  These skills are not limited to use informal communications, such as in the workplace: tact and diplomacy are also important when developing and maintaining friendships, romantic relationships, and relationships in the family. Enjoy! ENGAGE WITH JOHN R. MILES * Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles * Leave a comment, 5-star rating (please!) * Support me: https://johnrmiles.com * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Johnrmiles.c0m​. * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles JOHN R. MILES * https://johnrmiles.com/my-story/ * Guides: https://johnrmiles.com/blog/ * Coaching: https://passionstruck.com/coaching/ * Speaking: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking-business-transformation/ * Gear: https://www.zazzle.com/store/passion_struck PASSION STRUCK *Subscribe to Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-passion-struck-podcast/id1553279283 *Website: https://passionstruck.com/ *About: https://passionstruck.com/about-passionstruck-johnrmiles/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/passionstruck *Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/    

Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders, and growth seekers of all types to the Passion Struck Podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach, multi industry CEO, Navy Veteran, and entrepreneur on a mission to make Passion Go viral for millions worldwide. do so by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing high achievers from all walks of life who unlock their secrets and lessons to become an action star. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener by giving you tips, tasks and activities you can use to achieve peak performance and for two passion-driven life you have always wanted to have. Now help. Let's become PassionStruck. Welcome to Momentum Friday, an episode 45 of the PassionStruck podcast. And we are continuing our series on topics surrounding humility and diplomacy that were at the request of a listener, J. Skubinsky.

And I'm going to start out today's episode by giving you two quotes. The first is by Isaac Newton, who said, tacked is the art of making a point without making an enemy. And David Frost said, diplomacy is the art of having someone else have your way. Both of these are such amazing lead-ins

to today's episode on How to Be Tacked Fall and doing so with diplomacy and grace. So, imagine one of your brightest students in your class, Julie, had just finished giving presentation in your class. And Julie seems pleased with her performance, but it's obvious that she wasn't prepared. The presentation was poorly organized and you can tell it was badly researched.

And you sit there just disappointed with her lack of effort. And before everyone has left the classroom, Julie asks you for your feedback. You tell her that her presentation was sloppy and disorganized and that you expected so much better of her. And unsurprisingly, Julie is visibly upset and you sit there regretting your comments almost immediately. You wanted to be honest, but you didn't want to hurt her feelings. And you especially didn't want to do it in front of other people.

In a short month later, she makes her request to be reassigned to another teacher. We all have to communicate painful or sensitive information at some point open our career and in our relationships. And while it's important to tell the truth, we need to think carefully about how we do it and the approach that we take. Act allows us to be honest while respecting the feelings of the other person. And that's why it is so important a skill that we perfect. When we communicate tactfully, not only do we preserve relationships, but we build credibility. In addition, we demonstrate thoughtfulness. So in today's episode, I'm going to examine what tact is and look at how you can develop this important quality. Both tact

and diplomacy are skills centered around understanding other people and being sensitive to their beliefs, their values, their issues, and their opinions. With that being said, what exactly is tact? Tact is the ability to tell the truth while being respectful of other people's thoughts and emotions. It allows you to give difficult feedback, communicate sensitive information, and most importantly, save the right thing,

preserve the relationship at hand. Tact encompasses many things, including emotional intelligence, different self-awareness, thoughtfulness, compassion, honesty, diplomacy, and courtesy. And that is what makes tact so important. An effective use of it requires that you are able to defend accurately what another person is feeling and then responding in a way to avoid bad feelings or awkwardness. Well, at the same time, you want to assert

or reflect your own ideas, but in a delicate and well-meaning fashion. In fact, it's extremely important when you have to do things such as deliver bad news or provide critical feedback. And that can be in a professional or a personal situation. Communicate and tactfully strengthens your reputation and bolsters your credibility.

It is so important because it allows you to preserve those current existing relationships. And at the same time, builds that foundation so that you can build new and healthy ones. A tactful approach shows character, maturity, professionalism, and integrity. And tact also is a great way to demonstrate good manners. Did you know that Forbes Magazine recently cited

that 70% of individuals who do personal development, masterminds, and one-on-one coaching, benefited from better work performance, increased communication skills, and overall better relationships. And we, at PassionStruck, are obsessed with self-development, coaching, and mentorship. That is why we've created a free resource to help you unlock your hidden potential. Because people doing great things in business and life are just like you,

only they've had a coach along the way. And we've got that covered too. Let us show you the systems and frameworks that we teach both minded individuals to help them step into their sharp edges, execute on their passion journeys and get predictable results time and time again. Go to passionstruck.com slash coaching right now and let's get igniting. Now I'm going to give you seven strategies that you can use, because I need to help you think about and how you can plan for using tact and diplomacy around certain situations in your life.

First is when you are planning on having a difficult conversation, you should first think about what is it that you want to achieve. What is your favorite outcome? I would encourage you to write it down and think about all the reasons that you're doing it. Try to take a step back from your personal opinions and think about the facts surrounding the situation at hand.

Secondly, think about and write down all the possible objections that you can get from the others involved. Think carefully about your answers to their concerns and most importantly, demonstrate that you have considered their opinions, their issues, and their arguments. Third, try not to enter negotiations or conflict in a stressed out or angry way. By to remain calm and keep an open mind, it's so important that you find out all the facts as well as what is impossible before you react. Fork, when communicating,

listen to what the other side has to say. Watch for non-verbal communication. I covered this two episodes when I was discussing the secret stit diplomacy. Listen to their tone of voice as well because it will help you understand the emotional state that they're coming from. Hold back your own opinions and ideas until you have a chance to fully understand where they are coming from and then plan your responses carefully. It's important to do so so that it fits with the

responses that you're hearing back from the other side. If, negotiate, use some diplomacy. If what you seek is in conflict with the other person's opinions or ideals, you may have to discuss what sacrifices can be made, provide a better result for both of you and the long run. And a good thing to think about here is the conflict management styles that I covered in just a last episode. So please go tune into that. Aim to reach a compromise that ends in a win-win situation. Six, it's possible to turn your statements into questions.

And I often find that this is a great technique that you can use. Rather than directly voicing your opinion, simply turn that statement into a question that gets the other person to think about what you were trying to say. This not only creates room for that other person to think about things from your perspective, it also gives room for negotiation and more discussion. This strategy often allows for more exploration of options, a much more open dialogue than simply just stating your opinion.

7. If the conversation gets heated, trying to give yourself room to respond in ways that help rather than inflame the situation. This is diplomacy 101 where you're trying to avoid catastrophe. If you can, try to catch yourself at that moment when your gut wants to take over, just take a breath and give yourself a moment, take that time so that you can answer without being in an emotional state. Now they're the person that you need to think about your response rather than feeling as if you have to answer it immediately. It's important to know that when you're using any of these strategies that all people and all communication situations are unique, developing the proper tack and diplomacy techniques requires both good judgment and practice. And these techniques

aren't valuable only in the workplace. They're even more valuable, I think, outside of work, and in your relationships, both with your family, friends, and with your significant other. It's important when you're using tact that you take control of the situation, rather than allowing yourself to become out of control, and risk doing or saying something that you were regrett similar to the teacher whose example I gave at the beginning of this episode. Taking control of situations in a way that leaves both parties feeling comfortable with the outcome is an important part of showing both tact and diplomacy.

And remember, it's extremely important that you keep an eye on the prize. Keep that preferred outcome in mind. Why not to get distracted? Don't go off on a tangent. Work it bogged down with your relevant details. And remember to be assertive. Being tactful and in turn diplomatic does not mean bound down to pressure. We're giving up on what you want. And I hope you'll take today's lesson and apply it because I think you can have a dramatic impact in both your career and your life.

And I mentioned a few past episodes today. so please check out the one on the secret to diplomacy, which was episode 41, and also the different styles that you can use to manage conflict, which was episode 43 just before this one. And if you'd like today's episode, I would so appreciate it. If you could give it a five-star rating. It helps us so much to spread this word of passion. And please pass it on to like-minded friends. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make Passion Go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the Passion Strike podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to your

podcast ad. And if you absolutely love this episode, we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes, and you're sharing it with three of your most growth-minded friends, so they can post it as well to their social accounts and help us grow our Passion start community. If you'd like to learn more about the show and our mission, you can go to passionstruck.com where you can sign up for our newsletter, look at our tools, and also download the show notes for today's episode. Additionally, you can listen to us every Tuesday and Friday for even more inspiring content.

And remember, make a choice, work hard, and step into your sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us. you