Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas On How to Improve Your Inner Self Confidence EP 89

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas is an internationally acclaimed confidence expert and 8x international #1 bestselling author. She sits down with John R Miles to talk about how to improve your inner self-confidence. For the full show notes go to For the full show notes go to https://passionstruck.com/passion-struck-podcast/ where we have links to Nathalie's books and other unique content.. New to this channel and the passion-struck podcast? Check out our starter packs which are our favorite episodes grouped by topic, to allow you to get a sense of all the podcast has to offer. Go to https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. Have You Tried Athletic Greens? Athletic Greens is a custom formulation of 75 vitamins, minerals, and other whole-food sourced ingredients that make it easier for you to maintain nutrition in just a single scoop. It tastes great and gets you the nutrients you need, whether you’re working on the go, fueling an active lifestyle, or just maintaining your good health. Visit https://athleticgreens.com/passionstruck to get a FREE year supply of Liquid Vitamin D + 5 FREE Travel Packs with the subscription. Do You Need to Ship Packages? Try ShipStation ShipStation makes shipping the easy part of running your online store. So you can get back to doing what you’re passionate about—growing your business. Just go to ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top, and enter code PASSIONSTRUCK. Like this? Please join me on my new platform for peak performance, life coaching, self-improvement, intentional living, and personal growth: https://passionstruck.com/ and sign up for our email list. Thank you for joining us today on the Passion Struck podcast. Learn how you can improve your inner self and unlock your full potential. New Interviews with the World's GREATEST high achievers will be posted every Tuesday with a Momentum Friday inspirational message! SHOW NOTES 0:00 Show Introduction 3:08 How Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas discovered Neuroscience 8:31 The Olympics for smart people 13:22 Why her self-talk was wrong 19:20 Why we do the reverse of what we should 32:11 How she helps people build self-confidence 39:38 How to be present in the moment 45:48 Why so many people are disengaged 47:37 Creating an unbeatable mind 53:18 How to deal with stuck points 58:50 Her book Adventures of Captain Vic ===== FOLLOW NATHALIE PLAMONDON-THOMAS ===== Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas is the founder and CEO of Think Yourself Academy offering keynotes and training, leading edge online courses, laser focused business strategy, and one on one transformational coaching. She's an international number one best seller on 15 books covering success, communication, wellness and empowerment.  *Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/nathalie.plamondonthomas *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nathalie-plamondon-thomas-6b3262a/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nathaliepthinkyourself/ *Website:thinkyourself.com ===== FOLLOW JOHN R. MILES ON THE SOCIALS ===== * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnrmiles.c0m * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/JohnMiles * Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast   ====== ABOUT JOHN ====== John R. Miles leads a global movement called Passion Struck. He is passionate about being the catalyst who helps individuals expand into the most excellent version of themselves, unlocking the most no regrets life possible. He is a combat veteran, multi-industry CEO, successful entrepreneur, top podcast host, and author who is helping people worldwide regain their passion. John is one of the most-watched, quoted, and followed high-performance trainers globally, and his leadership acumen spans more than two decades. He's founded or co-founded more than half a dozen successful start-ups, was a Fortune 50 CIO and CISO, mentors rising entrepreneurs, and invests in successful tech ventures. He graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy, where he learned vital leadership skills and was a multi-sport Division 1 athlete.  

Coming up next on the Passion Struct Podcast. A perfectly healthy, capable person that is being put in front of a very traumatic situation, they haven't caused it, right? It's the event that will have an impact on them, and then that event will create an emotional connection with something specific, a physiological response. Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders and growth seekers of all types to the Passion Struck podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach,

multi industry CEO, Navy veteran and entrepreneur on a mission to make Passion Co-Viral for millions worldwide. And each week I do so by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing high achievers from all walks of life who unlock their secrets and lessons to become an action-struck. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener.

By giving you tips, tasks, and activities, you can use to achieve peak performance and for too a passion-driven life you have always wanted to have. Now, let's become PassionStrike. Hello everyone and welcome back to the PassionStrike podcast. Thank you to all of you who come back each and every week to listen, learn, and grow. If you're new to the show or you're looking for an easy way to tell your friends about it, we now have episode starter packs. These are collections of your favorite episodes organized by topics. It helps listeners get a taste of everything that we do here on the PassionStruck podcast.

Just visit passionstruck.com slash starter packs. To get started yourself or help someone else who might be new to the show, you'll also get started. And of course, I always appreciate it when you do that. Our guest on the show Natalie Plemundin-Thamis is the founder and CEO of Thank Yourself Academy, offering key notes and trainings, leading edge online courses, laser focus business strategy, and one-on-one transformational coaching. She is an international number one bestseller on 15 books covering success, communication,

wellness, and empowerment. In today's episode, we go into her origin story and how she started to begin immersing herself in neuroscience. How she helps people find confidence to unlock their full potential. What makes people do the reverse of what they should be doing? The three-step process that show layout for how you start doing affirmations and building habits. Why you must become a problem solver and rid yourself of the activities and routines that keep you in a place of being stuck. Emotional dependence versus emotional strength and so much more. Now, let's become PassionStrike. Now, let's become PassionStruck.

So excited to welcome Natalie Flamond and Thomas to the PassionStruck podcast. Natalie, thank you so much for being here today. Thank you, John, for having me. That's an honor. I thought for the audience, a great starting point would be kind of to hear not your original origin story, but what got you into neuroscience? Somehow, what got me in neuroscience is mainly my own voice inside my head. You know how we, the way we talk to ourselves, that's what I mean, right? Like we don't walk around and tell our friends, hey, you look fat in these jeans or, or a whole, you're strutting your own business, it's never gonna work, you're not good enough.

Like we don't talk to other people like that, but we trash talk ourselves all the time. Like, who do you want to be your friend if you talk to them the same way you talk to yourself, right? And I was talking to myself like that. So I remember at a point, I wanted to be a professional speaker. So I created a video, I hired a cameraman, and we had three cameras, one for the wide angle, one for the close-up, and one from the back

to see the large audience. The problem was, John, is that we only had 20 people in the room. So we kept asking them to move from one section to another so that when we would put all the segments together, it would look like there was a large audience, right? And that worked. Like that video actually got me my first paid speaking engagement. I got a call from an organization who wanted me to train their sales force and they asked

for my rate. I didn't have a corporate rate. So I go, uh, 250. No idea what to say. It's okay. So for the four hour training, that would be a thousand. I almost choke because I meant 250 for the whole thing, right? So I said, oh yes, that's correct. $1,000. So when I hung up the phone, I remember sitting in my office, feeling like a fraud, because somehow I was hearing this voice in my head telling me, you're not a real professional speaker, you don't deserve a thousand dollar paycheck for the afternoon. See that the video I had made to make the audience look bigger than it really was, and my made up corporate rate, none of it was real.

I was just trying to look more than I really was because I felt like just me was not enough. So it's my own negative self-talk that got me to realize, who is this voice? It's gotta go. Like how do I change that voice inside my head? And that's what started everything. Because I realized I need to figure out,

how to shut this voice down. Why? And then I discovered that 70% of our thoughts were negative. That 85% of people have negative self-talked that I was not the only one. So I created a system. I spent the last decade studying neuroscience and created that system to reprogram the six

layers of the brain and that's the system I showed in my eight International and the more in this book, the system that's at the base of all my online courses and the system I use with my one-on-one clients as well. So that's that's how it started really. Okay and obviously with your accent that's not a typical Vancouver accent. No. Where are you from originally? I'm from Quebec, that's not a typical Vancouver accent. No. Where are you from originally? I'm from Quebec. So that's the French part of Canada.

It's on the east coast. So it's north of Florida, really where you are. And actually, the voice in my head was right. Because my English was really bad because the voice was something, what? You want to be a professional speaker like in English? Like you don't even speak English. You want to write books in English? Are you kidding me, right? And I remember I was sitting yoga back then and at the end of a class, you know, when you do a relaxation, you might be familiar with yoga and during the meditation

I wanted them to relax their body, relax their face, and relax their jaw. So I wanted them to put their tongue on the roof of their mouth. And I said, put you a song behind your tits. And then everybody started to laugh. I didn't even know why. Obviously, I was not pronouncing teeth very well. But anyway, yeah, long story short, the voice was right.

The English was really really really bad. And I believe that would be, we have multi-ethnic generations in populations everywhere, like in Canada, 20% of people don't speak English at home as their first language. And in the States it's 22%. So you know 20% of the people live what I was living because most business transactions are happening in English. A lot of everything happens in English and if English is not in your first language, you go through this and there's probably a lot of listeners right now that are like, yeah, I know people look at me as if I'm stupid, but it's just that I don't know the word that like I could do it in my own language, but in English it's a second barrier, right? And it does affect our confidence, it does affect the way we come across, I guess, definitely. So, definitely. And what part of the province were you from?

Were you from Montreal or a smaller town? No, small town, just outside of Quebec City. Sainérement, so nobody really heard about this little town. So yes, I'm a small town girl and French speaking. And I figured it out. So if I did anybody can, right? That's the beauty of neuro-summonance is that I have a brain. And you do as well, because did you know there's such a thing as the Olympics for smart people?

You know, like it's such a, there's a thing that's a thing that's a thing. Isn't that the spelling bee? There is that. There's a spelling bee, but there is a memory one. So there is a big contest, international every year. And then they are the people that have the best memory. So they have to memorize a shuffled deck of cards in one minute. Or there is 200 pictures.

And then they have one minute to memorize the names of everybody and then they do it. So what they did, John, is that they studied the brains of the winners of these games. And you know what they found out? Their brain is average. So their brain is average, the smartest people, their brain is average. So what people, their brain is average.

So what that means for you and I is that there's hope. We have a brain too. We everybody has a brain, and I'm sure that all your audience listening to this today, they, everybody's got a brain. So this is awesome. We just need to know to tap into the potential of that brain. And that's what I did in the last gig, is figure out, oh my, wow, I didn't know I could do this.

That's amazing. And that's why sometimes you see people and it looks so easy for them. Well, maybe they're tapping into the right part of their brain, right? The Passion Struck Podcast will be right back. I am so excited about today's sponsor, Athletic Greens, because it is a product that I personally use and love.

In fact, Athletic Greens is completely transforming nutrition and helping so many achieve peak performance. This product is so easy to use and make part of your daily morning routine. And that's exactly what happened to me. I just come down every single morning and the first thing I do is take one scoop of their powder, put it in an eight ounce glass of water and it tastes amazing.

And the product consists of 75 different vitamins, minerals, immune supporting mushrooms, and probiotics. So much here to help your nutrition get the boost that it needs, without you having to go to either the store or eat a salad or whatever it may be in our hectic schedules. And with all the stressors better around us, this is such an easy way to solve your daily nutrition. Now, they are offering my audience a special when you subscribe. And this includes a one year supply of vitamin D and five travel packs. Go to athleticgreens.com slash passion struck to get started. Now let's get back to becoming passion struck. Exactly. Well, what you're saying right now kind of reminds me in some way of a previous guest that I had on her episode just went live. She actually lives in

Vancouver. Her name is Cindy Shaw and Similar to you she had a different profession before she started to study neuroscience. In her case she was a mindfulness or a mindset coach and She went through a lot of the training from Tony Robbins and others and reached this point where for her the mindset training was not working at all. And she went, she needed to go deeper to understand brain science. And for her, there was a physicality aspect of it that the physical health and the mental health and the spiritual health weren't all aligned. And so it wasn't allowing her to perform

to those high levels that she wanted to help coach people to do. So now she's kind of mixing both of them together. So she brings more of a holistic approach. So as you were studying to do this, often think we are best able to serve the person who we once were. So what were some of the things that were going through you at that time that you are now working to help people with? to help people with. So mainly what I learned was one, the way I was talking to myself was totally wrong.

So I had this ongoing negative self-talk all the time. And I realized that although it was a very positive person, that was born into a family of freaks, like they had signs in the house, you can do this, you're amazing. And every Sunday we had to sit down and listen to motivational tapes of Zigg Ziggler and Og Medina, Ajamaak Shaku, and like my parents will brainstorming or brainwashing us into being positive. So of course, I've always been positive. And it doesn't mean that just being positive and smiling works all the time, right?

So what I've learned the most was how the brain works. And maybe we do a little quick brain 101 just to understand there's a lot of parts of the brain that I love. Let's talk about two parts. So the logical mind and then the unconscious mind. So the logical mind is that voice inside our head. It can handle a few things at once. Like you can do between five and nine pieces of information at the same time with your logical mind. That's kind of cool. We multitask, right?

So that's why now you can specifically, in these days, you can grocery shop at the same time that you're in a meeting on your head phone, right? And at the same time, keep your kid from falling off the cart and still notice the guy at the back, winking at the girl in blue in the seafood department. Like you can notice all this going on at the same time. So we multitask.

And if you ever notice, let's say you're driving to a new address and music is on, it's a beautiful day. And as you get closer to that new address, you slow down. And you start looking at the numbers in the houses. Have you ever caught yourself, John, having to lower the volume on the radio as you look at the numbers in the houses. Have you ever caught yourself, John, having to lower the volume on the radio as you look at the numbers in the houses? Does that have ever happened to you?

No, it never has. Oh, it never happened to you. This is very interesting. So a lot of people that are listening to this know exactly what I'm talking about because five to nine pieces of information gets overwhelmed very quickly.

So very often, as you have your foot on the brake, the foot on the accelerator, the red light ahead, there's a kid that's about to cross the street, and then there's a woman that might cut you off, and then there's a guy in the car next to you, winking at you, gross. So when you add, looking at the numbers on the houses, the music becomes the one too many, because five to nine pieces of information is not that great after all. So that logical mind,

the logical mind on this side is not that exciting. So working at a logical level, you feel like you're always just trying to catch up. Like you have your objective, you have your goal, and then you're working hard. So you want, let's say, to build your business and then you're working from 5 a.m. until 9 p.m. and then you have clients between, between 5 a.m. until 9

and then you still have to take your kids to school and sport in between your meetings and oh, and you have to start a podcast or you have to post on social media and now you need a, an kind of clubhouse as well. And then you're working so hard, you're exhausted, you have zero life balance. And then you're like, is that it?

My dream of becoming an entrepreneur, and you feel like you're getting further and further away from your dream life. So living at a logical level, it's like you're trying to go to Los Angeles, but you're in an aircraft that's flying to New York City. You can work as hard as you possibly can, but you're never going to get there if you stay in that aircraft, right? So a lot of people say, well, okay, then how do I get off that plane? And I said, don't, stay on the plane. I talked to the

pilot and say, hey, bud, do you mind turning around? That's where I'm going. I can imagine all fast. You will get there once the pilot is on board. Just get the plane to turn around, right? So that pilot is the other part of the brain. That's the logical, that's the unconscious mind. So the logical mind could handle five to nine pieces of information at a time.

The unconscious mind can handle 2.3 million pieces of information at the same time. That's where the power is. 2.3 million versus five to nine. That on that logical, that unconscious mind, that pilot, is like a personal assistant in your head that is writing down everything that you say or think. And it makes it happen. It's very powerful. It's the most powerful and complex structure in the universe. It controls every moment of your life. It knows everything. And it can observe and make you be at the right place at the right time. The problem is people wake up in the morning, they look at themselves in the mirror and they go,

I'm so tired, I'm so stressed out. I think I'm getting wet. So then your personal system writes it down. Tired, stressed out, getting wet. Okay, I got this, tired, tired. What can I do? Oh, I know, I'm gonna keep her awake all night She's not gonna be able to sleep she's gonna be really tired in the morning check

Stressed out. Hmm. Oh, I'm gonna make her delete a super important appointment in our calendar So that's gonna be stressful check Gaining weight. Oh easy one. I can find a chocolate bar or something deep fried for her to eat today check So your personal system is constantly listening and making sure that everything that you say or think happens. So we have to be very careful when we talk to that personal assistant all the time because they're going to make it happen. Does that make sense? It makes sense. Well, I kind of look at it that the mind and the brain are two different things. The brain is kind of the hardware and the mind is kind of the software. If you think of it from

that analogy, you know, kind of like the one is the computer, one is the software that's running on it. But both influence what you're doing. So if your brain isn't performing to its ultimate abilities, it's gonna affect your mind or mindset. So that's where things like PTSD can come in or traumatic brain injury or neurological disorders or even poor health as what puts in your gut affects the hardware that controls the software. So there's so much of this that is intertwined. And I think as doctors and researchers find out more and more, I just learned recently, I didn't even realize this, that the brain is surrounded by water or liquid.

And so even new technologies like diffusion, tensor, imaging are now giving doctors the ability to see into this and where proteins are getting stuck where things are happening that they shouldn't in this hardware. So it's pretty amazing what science is able to do today to help with this. But you're right, if that pilot inside of you is pushing you in a different direction, then the brain is wanting to go, it's going to create different situations. So why do you think that so many people do the reverse actions of the ones that they

know they should be taking? You know, because I think that's a real problem. Yeah, absolutely. So what happens is that the premise, when we're talking that we all have a brain, so we're all super powerful, right? And we have everything that we need inside. Now, what happens is that it's like, we have all the answers inside of us, but the answers are like inside a drawer. And the drawer has a lot of crap that's accumulated on top, because you know when you were talking that whatever, the way you think may attract some disease or some other trauma and things.

The reverse is also true. A perfectly healthy, capable person that is being put in front of a very traumatic situation, they haven't caused it. It's the event that will have an impact on them and then that event will create an emotional connection with something specific, a physiological response when thinking about this event. So it's not one that caused the other. Sometimes one is the cause, sometimes it's the result, right? So we don't want to to tell everybody that or self-diagnose people by telling them, well, if you're like this, it's because of you, because you didn't talk, you're too personal assistant correctly. Well, we go through life,

stuff happens, and it's okay. So there are some some processes that that we can use in order to disconnect the emotional connection from from these memories so that so that you can move on with your life. So one doesn't necessarily create the other. Now to get back to your question, because we are resourceful, we are awesome. We're absolutely amazing. And there's a lot of stuff that's accumulated on top. And we know what to do. And you said, why are people not doing what they know

they should be doing? It's because they usually respond with what's on top. So you're in your kitchen and you're making dinner and then your daughter comes behind you and says, hey, daddy, and you go, what? And then you're like, what did I just do? You know that you wanted to say, sweetie, what can I do for you? Like, you know that. Why did you say, because maybe you were in your thoughts thinking about something really stressful that you have to deal with right now or an event that happened that work or this jerk that cut you off on your way back home on the highway and that put

everybody's life in danger or whatever it is, we respond with whatever is accumulated on top. So it's very important to get rid of what's in this drawer because we carry stuff with us every day all the time. And it's just normal. It's like, if I go into the dentist, right? Everybody goes to the dentist because everybody eats food, food gets stuck.

And it's normal. Like, no, you've never told one of your friends, what? You go to the dentist? Well, you know, we're not judged people for going to the dentist. We all eat food and get stuck. It's normal.

So if you brush your teeth really, really well, and floss and do the mouthwash and everything, you're not going to get rid of a cavity, right? You need the dentist because it's a special tool and they'll do a filling. So then you can continue to brush your teeth really, really well and then you'll avoid the next round of cavities, right? Because now you know the good hygiene habits to have.

And that's kind of what I do. I'm like a brain dentist that gets rid of the cavities so that you can continue to do what you do because people that come to me are not dysfunctional people. They're very often highly successful people and very positive people too. But if you have a cavity, you can't just brush your teeth at the top and hope it's going to go away. I realize I have not yet answered your question. Why do people do the reverse? It's because they respond with emotion.

is because they respond with emotion. And when you respond to an event with your emotion, instead of responding with the answer that's logically at the bottom of the drawer, that's what happens. So very often we're discouraged, or we have got anxiety, or we're in a panic moment. What happens right then is that there's something in your mind, so you're in what we call a prefrontal cortex overload.

So in that moment, this is what you're going to answer with. So the way I like to explain this is that pretend that you have a truck in your driveway. So all these powerful emotion, anger, fear, hurt, sadness, and guilt. They're like delivery trucks. Their goal in life is to bring you a package. That's it. So there's a truck in your driveway, and then you need to open the door

and open the package and see what is your gift. So your gift is usually a positive learning. It's something that will make you grow and get to the next level. So you need to figure out what you're learning, right? Now, people don't have time for that because we go through life at laser fast speed, right? So the truck is in your driveway and you're like, I don't have time to put this because now you're you're at work, you're in front of your co-worker, so you smile and everything is fine. Oh yeah, and then you come home and then your daughter is like, are you okay,

daddy? Oh yeah, that is fine. Of course, of course, I'm great. And then you're with your clients. Oh yeah, everything's good. Five. So we don't take the time to open the door so the truck stays there and idles in the driveway. Because that delivery guy's job is to give you that package and they aren't leaving. It's not like today what they they shove the package at your door and they leave. These kind of trucks they stay until you open the package, right? So then another truck comes in and then another truck comes in and in soon you're like, oh, I can hardly go by all these trucks to get out of my driveway and eventually there's so many trucks that you can't even bike around, you have to to walk around them or crawl under and eventually there's not even room for that. There's so many

trucks in your driveway that you're stuck and that's when depression and anxiety and deep severe disease even like the cells in your body cannot fight anymore and you start degenerating and then cancer and lots of different disease that are connected with stress are starting to happen because there's so many trucks in your driveway So here's what you do When you feel uncomfortable Understand how emotions work. They last between 30 and 90 second. An emotion should last between 30 and 90 second. That's a proper cycle. So you're going to one loop and then you exit the cycle. So it is normal to feel that discomfort of being scared because you're about to start something

you've never done before. So you experience fear and you're like, oh, I'm not liking this. before. So you experience fear and you're like, oh, I'm not liking this. But you've seen that in kids, right? Children, like they're super happy. And then 90 seconds later, damn potential, I'm in then 90 seconds later, they're happy again, right? And emotion should last between 30 and 90 second. So you're in prefrontal cortex overload. And then the unconscious man comes to the rescue and says, that's okay, John, I'm just going to take this and put it over here. And then it moves it away. And then it takes 90 seconds to do this process. The problem is, every time that it happens,

the first time it happened, you bring creative thread and then it adds a new pearl onto that necklace of fear, for example. So every single time you start your loop, you go through every single pearl. So every single truck in the driveway and people get stuck there for weeks and months and years. I've helped clients that have been stuck for years because they've never opened the packages. So figure out when you start feeling, oh my gosh, there's something going on. I don't like this. I'm panicking.

Tell yourself, ooh, I know what that means. I was listening to the Passion's Truck podcast with John Miles. And there was this girl. She could hardly speak English, but she said that whenever I feel like that, that means I have a truck in my drive when I'm receiving a package. choosing anxiety or fear or any of these emotions where your brain will shoot 1400 chemicals through your bloodstream and pollute you like cortisol and bad stuff that will slow you down. If you say, who I'm curious, I wonder what am I going to learn? What am I learning here? What's my gift? That's borderline exciting. Whoa, I'm getting a package.

Whoa, whoa. So if you, because in your prefrontal cortex, all emotions are created equally. There's no such thing as a good or a bad emotion. I call them powerful. They're just powerful. So your brain doesn't know the difference.

They're all created equally. So if you choose that is excitement, your brain will send some feel good chemicals through your bloodstream. You'll get a shot of dopamine or oxytocin, or endorphin, or serotonin, depending if you're with people, if there's witnesses,

there's a lot of different ways that you get these feel good chemicals. But bottom line is you get a feel good chemical through blood stream. Bloodstream, if you decide that you're excited and curious about, what am I going to become good at? Okay, I'm not liking this. You're you're not going to one loop, 90 second, and then say, okay, this sucks. I don't like this. Okay, that means I'm learning something. Okay, what am I going to learn? Get on, give me that package, open the box,

and then the truck will leave. That the only purpose of this truck is to give you that package. So just figure it out. Okay, well, I guess in a year from now, I will have learned this, and I will become good at this. Like a year or two ago,

nobody knew how to use Zoom. And now everybody does, right? Like we were uncomfortable at the beginning of the year, or two, it was really awkward to be in Zoom, going through one, right? Well, from this conversation, I think you're better at using it than me, but. But.

Well, Natalie, I really, yeah, I really like your analogy of the truck and the packages. In fact, some of the things that you said really resonate for those who are familiar with Martin Luther King Jr. One of the main things when he was alive, he was trying to tell his followers or the community he was trying to serve, is stop being emotionally damaged. It's because of that emotionally damaged that you remain stuck in this racial inequality that you're part of. Instead, you need to have emotional strength to part of, instead, you need to have emotional strength to, you know, do the right activities that take you away from where you are today. And I think it's an important lesson because just like James Clear says in the Tomic habits, you really want to start repeating the positive

habits and you want to stop doing the negative habits because, you know, I think he makes a good point in that book that if you have a negative habit, the first time you do it is a mistake. But the second time and the third time and the fourth time and the fifth time, that's on you. It's such as, I love to do fitness, you were a fitness trainer. For me, if I miss two days in a row going to the gym, I feel like a completely different person.

So for me, I can do it one day, but I have to keep reinforcing that habit because I realize that doing it is not only helping me with my physical health, it's helping me with my mental health because it's helping me get rid of anxiety, it's helping me focus on what I need to do for the day, it's part of my daily routine that I do and so it sets up the rest of the day. And I think the same thing holds true with these trucks.

If you let too many of these trucks and packages fill up, it is going to lead to the things that you talked about because I've been there. It's going to lead to you feeling beaten, broken, battered, numb, hopeless, complacent in your life. And all of a sudden, you're going to subsist where you're at instead of breaking through it. So that's a long-winded thing, Natalie. For me, asking you, I know one of the things you've helped clients with the most is how do you build confidence?

Because a lot of what you're describing is people are feeling self-doubt, which is on the opposite end of the spectrum. And you talked about that analogy of looking in the mirror, and I used to do that. And I would purposely sit there brush my teeth, not wanting to look at the person in the mirror. And whether you use Louise Hayes, not wanting to look at the person in the mirror. And whether you use Louise Hayes, mirror work, or what I like to do that I've had success with is I just high-fived myself. First thing in the morning before I go to bed.

And it sounds really corny, but when you start making positive affirmations about the life that you want, as opposed to looking at your life from the negative ways that we see ourselves through those packages that we don't open, it makes such a profound difference. So, you know, that's a big lead in, but Natalie, how do you help people with confidence? confidence. So I'd like to take your lead on you were talking about affirmations and I would like to let's talk about affirmations just for a second before I answer your question. And by the way, this is one of the way that I do help people. So mainly what I do is I help people reprogram their brain at an

unconscious level. So it's not easy. It's kind of quite the undertaking to try to do that by yourself at a logical level. Like that's what I do at the unconscious level. I have specific processes, techniques, like some of the steps like for PTSD, it's an 89 step process, very rigorous. That is supported by science, by the way way that has been tested over and over on Army vet and on people working at the 9-11, the second tower, some of the firemen there that were working there that saw atrocious things. Now that's what I do, but there are things you can do by yourself, right away, to start the process, right? So affirmation is kind of one of them. However, affirmations don't work if you don't believe them.

So there's a very specific way to do affirmation. Because when, let's say that I work with the Think Youself Thin program, with clients that are highly overweight, I can't just say, okay, look at yourself in the mirror and repeat after me, I am thin. The brain's like, no, we're not. Well, the think yourself wealthy program clients that are in deep financial struggle. I can't just say, okay, put your hands on your head and just say, I am rich. Because your brain is like, no, we're not. So your personal assistant is like, what is she talking about? Oh, she's not talking to me.

She's probably just watching like a vampire movie. Even parties don't exist. I'm not writing this down. End of it. So there's this super easy technique you can do in order to do these affirmations so that they work. So the first step, let's say you hear yourself say something nasty in your head, right? You're in front of the mirror and you say, oh, I'm so stressed out.

Step number one is you rephrase it in the past with I used to. Okay. So you hear yourself say, oh, I'm afraid of flying. I used to be afraid of flying. I used to be stressed out all the time Or I'm so bad with technology. I used to think that I was bad with technology, right? So you repeat it in the past. Yeah, I used to tune out meetings I used to tune out on webinars. Yes. There you go. Exactly. So you repeat it in the past. What happens then is that if you're unconscious minor, your personal system hears, I used to be stressed out all the time. The personal system

is like, it's going to be like, Oh, yeah, yeah, I got this right here. Stress out on my note pad. Yeah, she's talking to me. Yeah, what can I like, why are we talking about this in the past? We're done with this with the deal. What do I do? Perfect. You got their attention. Step number two, you add a progressive statement. A progressive statement starts with, I am willing to learn or I'm in the process of. Okay, so then there's not too big of a disconnect. You say, I used to think that I was bad at trying.

I used to think I was bad with technology. I used to be stressed out all the time. Now I'm willing to learn how to build a calm life for myself. Now I'm willing, or I'm in the process of figuring out where to click on Zoom to be able to see my client. Right, or I used to tune out in meetings, and now I am present in the moment. Exactly.

Well, now I am present in the moment. There's a big disconnect there. So make sure you use it. Now I'm willing to learn how to be present in the moment, there's a big disconnect there. So make sure you use it. Now I'm willing to learn how to be present in the moment. Now I'm in the process of becoming present in the moment, because again, remember we want to make sure that there's a very small gap and then you go on one step at a time. And once you've been willing to learn how to be present in the moment long enough, then eventually you don't have to be willing to learn anymore. You can be present in the moment. Like it's kind of the step three is the fall on statement, right? But the progressive statement is usually more successful when you start with, I'm willing to learn. I'm in the process of. So you need that progressive part. You need, because progressive is the key word here, because we will face that back.

And you were talking about, you know, if you've run in a cornfield, small town girl, so we had cornfields around our house, and then the corn will bounce back in your face if you run in a cornfield, right? I played with with my cousins very often and that's what happens. And then the third cousin that walks by, then the corn doesn't bounce as fast in their face, so it's not as fun. But it kind of breaks a little. And then the next person that walks on, then it's going to flatten out the path and eventually it's like a big highway.

So that's what's happening now is that whenever something happens We have a neural pathway that's created that's like a a path flattened out in a corn field, right and whenever a an obstacle happens That means the corn bounces back in your face. We tend to go back to another field, another path that leads to self-sabotage, because we're trying something new and we're like, okay, I'm gonna do my progressive statement, but then as soon as something will happen,

we might be tempted to run back to the old thing. But remember, it's all about how you react. So how would you react if you drove home one day and there's a tree rocking the road to lead you to your house? Are you going to turn around and say, well, okay, I guess I'm never going to get home again. Oh gosh, I'm, I really love my spouse and my kids. I'll never see them again. I'll miss them. Well, I guess I'm going to go buy a new house now and buy all new furniture. No way, right? Like you would walk home if you have to or find another route or get a chainsaw cut the tree.

There's no tree that will keep you from abandoning your family in your home. And now I'm not talking about your family in your home. I'm talking about you, your life, and you only have one. I'm talking about you, your life, and you only have one. So there's no accepting that life should be this way, and I should just carry this baggage forever because such is life. No, you only have one life. And when there's something blocking the road, it needs to be compelling the reason why you're willing to do what you do, find what your why is, why is it that you're going to keep going?

And this reason should be your purpose. That's why you're here. Like who else beyond yourself could that help? Who else are you serving? And if you find that out, you'll be able to get back up just like infant that are trying to walk, you know, and that fall and then try again and you've never seen an infant saying, oh no, that's not for me. I'm just going to crawl, you know, it doesn't matter, you know, like you just get back up. So remember to always get back up if you have a strong why?

Why are you doing what you're doing beyond yourself? Who else are you serving? And who else can that help for you to get rid of of this baggage really? And that will drive you to keep going. So keep that progressive statement, keep that two step technique because definitely that will get you started in the process.

We will be right back to the PassionStruck podcast. This episode is sponsored by Shipstation. The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year, but if you're running an online store, you also know that it can be the craziest part of the year. I know this firsthand from my experience running both Loes.com and Dell.com. There is inventory to manage, orders to fill, and a growing list of stressed out customers who are waiting for their packages. With ship station, all of that hassle and stress

that goes with managing these packages and their delivery goes away in an instant. Leaving you with happier customers and more freedom to pursue your passion, which is running your online business. What I personally love about using SHIP station is that it gives you love about using SHIP station is that it gives you the purchasing power that I had when I was at a Fortune 500 company with so much ease of use. And they connect you with UPS, FedEx, and USPS. So you have all your shippers right there at your fingertips. No wonder that 98% of customers who use SHIP station for a year keep using it as long as they are in business. It's that good. Make this holiday season a little bit brighter with shipstation. Use my offer code

passionstruck to get a 60 day free trial just in time for the holidays. Just go to shipstation.com, click on the microphone at the top and enter the code PassionStruck. Shipstation, make ship happen. Now let's get back to the PassionStruck podcast. Okay, well, Natalie, I thought that was some great advice for the listeners. I did want to take us down a little bit different path. One of the things I help clients with, and we help clients with similar things, is what I call disengagement. I think a growing amount of society is becoming disengaged, and you can see this in survey results that have come out when Gallup says 85% of the world's full-time workers are disengaged.

And what happens is if you're disengaged in your career, it's going to have a ripple effect. It's going to affect your physical health, your mental health, your relationships, your spiritual health. But one of the things that I think is going on in society, and you talked about the unconscious mind, is I think we need to transition from an unconscious mind to an unbeatable mind. Because I think so many people are living in what I call auto-pilot. They feel disengaged, they feel stuck. And so they go throughout their day, instead of being present and being conscious in the moment,

they're on autopilot and they're just kind of going through their routine without really making deliberate choices to do things differently and to interact with people differently and to change things. Meaning they just leave that tree that you were talking about in the middle of the road instead of, and sometimes they're here, you know, I'm going to wait for help and other times. They just turn around. That's not for me. That's right. That's not for me. You know, they're just. And as I talk about people on their journey, whether it's overcoming trauma, which 51% of females and 61% of males are going

to go through, why does 70% of them get through it and 30% down? The same thing could be applied here. It's, this journey to taking that tree down is going to take work, but it's through the affirmations or the many actions or many habits that you keep stacking that are going to allow you to get through it. So my question is, as you work with clients, does that analogy hold true as well that people are living their lives on autopilot instead of living them with the mindset of having an unbeatable mind. 100% absolutely. And what happens is that when people want to change, they, they're autopilot or whatever is on the list. This, you know, like my clients come to me and say,

I don't want to be stressed anymore. I don't want to be impatient with my kids. I don't want to be rushing everywhere. And I want to be broke. So then on the list, there's rush, stress, and patient broke. I got this. So that's the autopilot because the personal system

makes sure that everything that's on the list keeps rehab re-happening over and over and over. And what people don't know necessarily is that they don't have to agree with the thoughts that they have. So the very first step is to recognize that there are not a pilot. So what you're doing, John, is amazing because you're already preaching this. You're already letting them know, hey, you don't have to live on an auto pilot. And then the second step, once you've recognized, oh, wait a minute, is this my auto pilot kicking in? Do I agree with it?

It is the address on the GPS, the right one, because if the address is not right, even if you start trying little things to help you, it's going to go recalculating, recalculating, recalculating, right? You have a GPS. Right. I've been there a bunch. Yeah. Right. So if you don't change the address on the GPS, it's going to keep trying to send you back to the old address. So the key here is exactly what you're doing, John, is, hey, guys, recognize when you're on autopilot, too, is, does my GPS have the right address?

Is this where I want to go? Is there something else that I want? And now tell your personal assistant what you want. So make a value interview for yourself. Like, what's important to me? What do I want and now tell your personal assistant what you want. So make a value interview for yourself. Like what's important to me? What do I want? That's the first thing I do at all my clients. What do you want?

Because that's the first part of my system. I ask them if they're doing a kitchen renovation, I need to know what do you want in your kitchen, right? So you'll make a folder with samples and you'll say, I want these covers just counter top, this hardwood floor, I want an island in the middle, I want this back splash paint chip, you put all that in your folder and then you'll create a plant and everybody does that. So this is not new, it's the deed, the deed of my DNA system desire. What do you want really? And everybody knows that and does that. You've done a smart goals before and creating a list or vision board. Now that's not enough to just do that

because a lot of people do that, but then if vision boards alone work, we will all be living on desert islands, keeping my teens driving much these beds, you know, right? Like it's not enough, it's a folder, you can't cook in your folder, you can't entertain people in the folder. It's a folder, but a kitchen, right? So then, a lot of people teach skills and how to implement good habits into your life. So how to do things differently, which is a good idea to do, however, it is the third step.

It's like trying to take your cupboards and put them over top of the existing cupboards, or you take that new island and you put it over top of the existing island in your kitchen. It's not going to work. You have to gut out the old kitchen. That's step two. And for new you, you have to remove all the bad habits, negative self-top, limiting beliefs, trauma, anger, fear, hurt, sadness, guilt, all the stuff that needs to go.

You need to remove the stuff before you can actualize the A. You can actually implement your new kitchen. So that's the third step of the system, but people sometimes they go from the folder to installing the new thing. So you need that step two to and that's what I do specifically with the specific processes. We get rid of what is no longer needed. We just get to the learning. What did you learn? Because there's no, the reason why I'm very successful, especially with men, because women like to talk about their problems, guys a little less usually. And in what I do, we don't talk about anything.. Guys, a little less, usually. And in what I do, we don't talk about anything. I don't have a couch and a clinic's box

because I believe that every single time you retell the event or the problem, your brain doesn't know it's not happening again. So let's get to that. Remember the analogy of the necklace where there's a whole bunch of pearls accumulated, a whole bunch of trucks in your driveway? Well, if you talk about something, that pearl will get removed from your necklace, right? So if the pearl gets removed from the necklace, the necklace gets

shorter, so you kind of feel a little bit better. It's kind of like when you, no, it's kind of like when you're going through treatment for PTSD and you go through CPT, what you're doing is you're getting that pearl could be thought of as a stuck point that you're removing. Exactly. So if the necklace gets shorter, it's only temporary because as you are retelling the story, the brain doesn't know it's not happening again. So it adds on a brand new pearl at the top. So your necklace at the end is just the same length. So what I do is I go back to the thread and I remove the whole thread. So the whole necklace falls apart. So we don't talk about anything. We move on. We don't relive anything. There's no need. And

most times I don't even know what happened to the person. I don't need to know because we never talk about it. It's very refreshing because we don't have to cry and we live anything. I don't need to know because we never talk about it. It's very refreshing because we don't have to cry and we live anything. I actually don't want that for myself either because as the person that receives the story, my brain doesn't know it's not happening to me. So it would pollute me and send me 1400 chemicals to my bloodstream. I do that day and day out. Do I want to just get polluted with people stuff all day long? I don't. So that's not the process that I use.

We don't, we need to start the process with doing a PSSI-5 and an evaluation of the subjective units of the stress. Of course, we need to know where we're at, but there's no talking and retelling and reliving. Oh my gosh, not at all. That's not how I believe things get passed or that you will disconnect the emotional connection from a specific event by doing that.

Well, it's interesting. Our methodologies are very, very similar. We have the same first step. I call it becoming a mission angler because if you don't understand the mission that you're trying to solve, what is that problem that you were put on earth to solve? the kitchen that you talked about and what you want in it, you're not going to know how to take things out of it. So for me, the your second step is my third step. I call it a mosquito auditor, but my second step is becoming a reality embraceer because I think one of the biggest things that you've got to realize is if your mission is here, but your reality is here until you really understand the brutal reality of where you're at and you would knit and are vulnerable that you need to make the choice to change. Nothing is ever going to happen.

Unless you make the choice, you're not going to do the following actions that it takes to go from point A to point B. So, but I think what you're saying is definitely I'm point to what I've seen as well. So, I'm going to take this as we're starting near the end in a little bit different direction. So you have written 15 international bestsellers. I wanted to make sure the audience knew that. If there was one book that you would say, this is my favorite book I've ever written

or if the audience doesn't have time to get to all 15, what would be the one book that you would tell them to go to and from there they can explore the other ones? Interestingly enough, a lot of people, I think if you have 15 kids, you're not allowed to have a favorite one, but if you have 15 books you're allowed. My very favorite one just to answer your question first is the Adventures of Captain Vic. It's my children's program. It's definitely my most favorite book because it's a full program of animated stories with pirates. There's Captain Mizrable and Captain Vic and then there's the parrot that repeats what they send their head and then Captain Mizrable goes,

and Captain Vic, and then there's the parent that repeats what they send their head, and then Captain Visibles goes, oh, well, I think that if I try to get to this island, I'm gonna hit the rocks with my boat, and then the parent goes, ah, hit the rock, hit the rock, you know, it's animated cartoons. They go online on the platform,

and parents can do that with their children, and teachers do that with their classroom as well. It's a school program and a home program. This is my favorite. But what I would tell your audience, if they don't have kids, at the point, thank you so grateful is my favorite book for adults. Because the think is of grateful book only has maybe 40 pages of content. It's very short. And then you've got three months of journal page to fill out every day. Because journaling every day with these specific questions that do follow the neurological level to make sure that you reprogram every step of your brain, it talks to your personal system in a specific way that you will actually make things happen and create your future just by writing things down.

It's very short. It's like five or six questions that you have to answer every day. You do that in five minutes. The first day might take you about an hour because you'll be like, I have no clue. I don't know. Then the next day your personal assistant is going to be like, what's the deal here? Why are we being asked the same question? We made up something yesterday.

Well, if I'm going to be asked this again tomorrow night, I might as well make sure that tomorrow I make it happen because I will have to report on it. And then the next night you're asking it again and then your personal assistant is going to be like, I knew it. See, I prepared something for you today. I did create a positive emotion for myself. I did do something one little step to achieve my goal. I am thankful for this thing because now you're, and after a week, your personal assistant is already ready to go. And you're now creating your life that you want just by having to report every night on how you did. So it's very fascinating how the Think Youself grateful journal has helped so many people. And that's the number one thing that I recommend to all my clients.

The Think Youself grateful. Yep. Okay. Um, second question would be, I always like to ask this of yoga instructors. What is your favorite type of yoga to practice? Okay. So, um, I do different things. Um, Vinyasa, um, is a, is a form of yoga that's very moving. So I do also a Yin yoga. I like when it moves. I like when it's flowing. And I also do a lot of power yoga. So power yoga is, and the one that I do

is in a heated room. So then we can really go deep into some moves. And it's fast, it's hard, it makes you sweat a lot and it really builds muscles more than the meditation part. Now I do believe that any practice should have a little bit of everything that if you are first waking up in the morning, you might want to do just a very gentle relaxation stretching type of yoga. If you're doing a lot of cardio because I still teach fitness, I've been teaching for 33 years and I do a lot of high intensity interval training pushups, burpees and my muscles are tight and tense. So I need

to do a lot of the stretching type of yoga to compensate for this. So make sure that everything is balanced, whatever one you choose. If you choose for this to be your workout, so then you can do the power yoga, which will have more body weight, exercise and maybe a faster pace for cardio and lifting and increasing your metabolic rate as you are doing it. Depending on what you do, my husband used to do the yoga for stiff guys at the beginning because it was super stretchy. You would stay in one pose forever like just to loosen up the muscles and now it's progressed to now do more power and exercise style, but you're going to start somewhere, right? So yeah.

Yeah, well, I was introduced to it when I was in my 20s. I was actually, you wouldn't think about it, but I was assigned a Navy SEAL team, Naval Special Warfare Unit 10, and it was incorporated three to four times a week as part of our training. But over time, I always like when they incorporate the swings, because to me it's like the yogi version of a TRX. And so I like that. But my favorite was probably rocket because it was kind of a combination of a stanga and power built into one because you're still doing the set positions like you would. That's some sort of rotation.

And as stanga, but it's also got a faster flow. Okay, so, you know. Oh, we could talk for another hour, I'm sure. What are five things you can't live without? Oh, things, or can I do people? Cause I don't know that there's anything I can't live without. I think I can live with most things, but there's a lot of people I can't live without. Okay, who are five people you can't live without? Am I allowed?

My husband, number one, definitely, my parents, definitely. So you need a cheerleader in your corner, right? My parents have been the pillars, the role models. My husband is my person that's always there for me, like the daily positive and inspiration as well. My husband is very driven and is an example of health. He is 70 and he teaches spin classes. He's the super fit guy that's very, very, very inspiring. Then of course, friends, you need to have friends, clients, because that's my purpose. I need to be able to make a difference in people's life

and then teach what I've learned to make a difference. And then beyond clients, I believe that I need mentors because I'm a learner. I also need to learn. So I read a book every week while I listen to them. I like to audio books, but I need mentors. I need people to direct me, to guide me. I hire cultures myself all the time in order to get me to the next level. So I do hire a lot of people. So that would be probably the five, the five people that I can't live without. Okay and last question is what is your personal motto or advice that you live by? Okay. On my business card in big it says you are awesome. So that's my business card right

there. So that's the motto. It goes for anything that I do myself and everything that I say to others because I don't give advice even with the kids And they say what do you think I should do or my clients are like working you 300 bucks an hour You got better tell me what to do. I don't tell people what to do. I tell them you are very resourceful And you will figure it out resourceful and you will figure it out. You're smart, you're very resourceful and you will figure it out because it doesn't matter what I think. So I tell them, you're awesome, you're very resourceful and you're going to figure it out because empowering somebody to understand that they have everything that they need inside is the best advice you can give anyone all the time. Okay, and Natalie, we talked about your books,

but if someone wants to learn more about thank yourself, or I know you wanted to mention a program that they could download, how can they do that? And I'll put it in the show notes. Absolutely, so you can connect with me on social, or so my email is Natalie at thinkyourself.com. Thinkyourself.com is the website. I'm happy to offer you audience a 315 minute call with me.

There's a lot we can do in 15 minutes. We can tweak a few things in 15 minutes. So thinkyourself.com slash schedule. Or you can go download the confidence guide. If you like the two-step technique, that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that.

Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that.

Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much for that. Thank you so much brain that will set you on the right path to confidence.

Well great, well Natalie I enjoyed our conversation so much. Thank you for coming on the PassionStrike podcast and I'm sure the audience has gotten so much valuable information from today. Thank you so much John for inviting me. During today's episode, I wanted to highlight a few of the past episodes that I brought up. The first is a recent episode, number 71, with Cindy Shaw, who talks about brain science and its impact and helping you achieve success. Episode 2 with MacBrazina, where she talks about how do you best utilize the other 23 hours of your life to move forward on your passion journey. My solo episode number 57 on the seven secrets to build mental strength

and also my solo episode number 19 on how do you apply the power of choice. I also wanted you to know that we will be featuring several of Natalie's in the show notes, along with the comic habits that I brought up. And it would mean so much if you could order these through the show notes and our affiliate links because all the money that we make from book sales goes to help support the show. And if there's someone that you would like to see me interview or a topic you want to see me cover, please DM me at either Passion Struck Podcast or John R. Miles on Instagram. Now go out there and become Passion Struck.

Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make Passion Go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the PassionStrike podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to your podcast ad. And if you absolutely love this episode, we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes, and you're sharing it with three of your most group-minded friends, so they can post it as well to their social accounts and help us grow our passion start community.

If you'd like to learn more about the show and our mission, you can go to passionstruck.com where you can sign up for our newsletter, look at our tools, and also download the show notes for today's episode. Additionally, you can listen to us every Tuesday and Friday for even more inspiring content. And remember, make a choice, work hard,

and step into your sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us. you