Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Sharon Rolph On How to Find Your Essence in Retirement EP 92

Episode Date: December 24, 2021

Sharon Rolph is a behavioral scientist who works as a retirement and essence coach. She sits down with John R Miles to discuss how to find your essence in retirement and how to empower everyone to win satisfaction. New to this channel and the passion-struck podcast? Check out our starter packs which are our favorite episodes grouped by topic, to allow you to get a sense of all the podcast has to offer. Go to https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. Have You Tried Talkspace? Talkspace: The online therapy company that believes that therapy should be affordable, confidential, and convenient. Join over 500,000 people who have used Talkspace for online treatment with their licensed therapist. Get $100 off your first month when you visit talkspace.com and use promo code PASSIONSTRUCK at sign-up. Have You Used ISSUU? Issuu is the all-in-one platform to create and distribute beautiful digital content, from marketing materials to magazines, to flipbooks and brochures, and more. Get started with Issuu today for FREE, or if you sign up for a premium account, you will get 50% off when you go to ISSUU.com/podcast and use promo code PASSIONSTRUCK. Like this? Please join me on my new platform for peak performance, life coaching, self-improvement, intentional living, and personal growth: https://passionstruck.com/ and sign up for our email list. Thank you for joining us today on the Passion Struck podcast.  Learn more about me: https://johnrmiles.com. SHOW NOTES 0:00 Introduction 4:03 Why growing up Sharon Rolph felt invisible 9:48 Why it is important to plant seeds that pay off in the future 15:28 Always have the next thing in mind 20:25 Her fascination with building mental strength 25:17 The importance of finding your essence statement 30:34 How Louise Hay's mirror work is similar to essence work 33:14 Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 36:07 Keeping the main thing the main thing 40:38 Regardless of age, there is a problem worth solving 42:04 Sharon discusses her new book Fresh Courage In Retirement 49:32 What it means to live effortlessly   ===== FOLLOW SHARON ROLPH ===== *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharon-rolph/ *Website: https://effortlessvitality.now.site/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sharon_queenofcourage/ *Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/QueenOfCourage/   ===== FOLLOW JOHN R. MILES ON THE SOCIALS ===== * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnrmiles.c0m * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/JohnMiles * Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast   ====== ABOUT JOHN ====== John R. Miles leads a global movement called Passion Struck. He is passionate about being the catalyst who helps individuals expand into the most excellent version of themselves, unlocking the most no regrets life possible. He is a combat veteran, multi-industry CEO, successful entrepreneur, top podcast host, and author who is helping people worldwide regain their passion. John is one of the most-watched, quoted, and followed high-performance trainers globally, and his leadership acumen spans more than two decades. He's founded or co-founded more than half a dozen successful start-ups, was a Fortune 50 CIO and CISO, mentors rising entrepreneurs, and invests in successful tech ventures. He graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy, where he learned vital leadership skills and was a multi-sport Division 1 athlete.  

Coming up next on the Passion Struck Podcast. Nobody teaches us how to really describe ourselves to our bosses on our interviews. Is this a fit or not a fit? Because we haven't been trained how to describe our inner spark. Kind of like our DNA. So, when people live from their essence, their inner spark, it feels so good because it's an alignment with how we were made and built. Welcome Visionaries, creators, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders and growth seekers of

all types to the Passion Struck podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach, Maltes by industry CEO, Navy Veteran, and Entrepreneur on a mission to make Passion Co-Viral for millions worldwide. And each week I do so by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing eye achievers from all walks of life who unlock their secrets and lessons to becoming PassionStruck. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener. By giving you tips, tasks, and activities, you can use to achieve peak performance

and for too much passion-driven life, you have always wanted to have. Now, let's become PassionStruck. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the PassionStruck podcast. Today's episode falls on Christmas Eve, and I wanted to take this time to especially thank the audience for helping us become one of the top 0.1% of all podcasts globally based on popularity. Thank you so much for helping us achieve that

and helping get the message out about this podcast. And thank you to all of you who come back each and every week to listen and learn to live better, be better, and impact the world. And if you're new to the show or you would like to introduce it to a friend or family member, we now have starter packs. These are collections of your favorite episodes organized by topic,

which gives you a great way to see behind the scenes everything that we do here on the show. Just go to passionstruck.com slash starter packs to get started. And if you haven't had a chance to check it out, we also have a YouTube channel at John R. Miles, which has well over 200 different videos ranging from long form interviews like this to short two to three minute videos that we call mindset moments. Please go check it out and subscribe if you haven't done so. Today's episode is with Sharon Rolf. And when Sharon retired from Boeing in 2016,

she put her skills as a behavioral scientist to work as a retirement and essence coach. Sharon has created 53 retirement podcasts, started a boomers's meetup group, and presented what do I want in retirement, workshops at senior centers across the US. She's focused now on empowering everyone to win satisfaction and triumph in retirement.

In today's podcast, I talked to Sharon about her goals to help people live, grow, and give from a position of passion that produces stronger neighborhoods and communities. We talk about the retiring baby boomers globally and how she feels they can still potentially change the world. We discuss how when you live from the heart, life has meaning and a seemingly effortless. She discusses also how she went from feeling invisible to becoming the queen of courage and so much more. Thank you for choosing the Passion Start Podcast and choosing me to be your hosting guide on your journey to living an intentional life. Now let the journey begin.

Excited to welcome Sharon Rolf onto the Passion Strike podcast. Welcome Sharon. Thank you for having me, John. It's a pleasure being here. I hope to impart some good wisdom for your listeners today. Well, I know it's taken us a little bit to get this one on the books. It's been a very busy past month for me because throughout the month of September, we are doing episodes twice a week in honor of veterans who served during the global war on terror. And so I had to kind of drop everything to get all those in and filmed. But I appreciate that you're here and it's remarkable that it's been 20 years since that fateful day. Yes, yes. Well, I thought it would be a good starting point before we go into what you were doing now

to maybe go back in time and talk about some of the aspects of your career and how you were doing that career while you were raising five children. Actually, I was a middle of five. I've never had kids. I put that straight. You were the middle of five, okay.

Yeah, I, that's the, so we, we're gonna talk a little bit about feeling invisible today. And being the middle of five is the invisible role. I had an older brother and sister that are where all baby boomers in. They, there was abuse in our home and so being invisible was actually a safe thing. I got good grades. You know, didn't rock the boat and didn't want to be noticed for the wrong reasons. But I also at the same time had a high potential for,

I mean, a high sensitivity of potential. So it was kind of one of those mysterious things about, how do you unfold your potential in the mystery of why you're here, you know? So my, and the other thing that made me different, John, was that I love to learn. I was the only one in my family that went to college and I picked up this phrase. He said, well, yeah, you're outstanding. Oh, standing in a field. Yeah, that was me. I was, oh, I grew up on farms, milk cows and all a field. God, that was me. I was, I was sitting, I grew up on a farm,

I was milk cows and all that stuff. So, I- Yeah, where did you grow, and where did you grow at that? That was in Eastern Washington. When we moved to the farm and when I was eight and a half, I guess, and we chopped out the sagebrush and planted alfalfa and irrigated and grew our own little orchard family orchard, but then we before we sold the farm, we had peaches in apple orchards too.

So, you know, there's a lot of for sure. Keeps you out of trouble. Yeah. So I went to college right out of high school, worked a year and then paid for my own education. And so I took baby steps towards getting a degree and was usually on weekends and evening classes. And when I was, I had taken an elective course and I was at the campus picking up braids or something and something, one of my instructors passed me and says, well, sharing, if you love that class that he had led,

he said, well, you should consider this master's program and behavioral science and idea right away, joined a sign up for that. And that's what makes me very unique is that there's not that many behavioral scientists out there but I didn't want to work with addicts that most people work with user education for. I wanted to work with people who are already strong and successful and knowledgeable and and just bring out that golden nugget inside of them, help them believe in themselves more. So I didn't do that really other than with my friends, I remember when I fell out in our singles group that he was debating about his, oh, I helped him with his resume. And I told him the little analogy about a steering wheel

has no value in a car and less as in motion. And that really stuck with him about be making some baby steps forward to be in action for the good things that happen in your life. be in action for the good things that happen in your life. Well, I think those baby steps over time, I call it action stacking, lead to one after another, and then before you know it, you have gained so much momentum

and you keep stacking them. And I think a lot of people think they've got a plunge in and have these huge results every day. And I found that to just not how it works for most people. You've got to pick one task that keeps them momentum going and just build upon them is what I found was to be one of the most successful things you can do to execute on your passion journey.

Yeah, in this process of doing retirement coaching, I keep planting seeds. I may not see the results today, but I'm planting seed with the belief that in the future, it all pays off in those action steps, yeah. Yes, I did want to ask you about your time at Thoing. I know you weren't there, you know, when they had the 737 max issue, but as someone who had worked there for seven or eight years, I'm sure when that news broke, because the Boeing employees, I know, were very proud of that company.

How did that impact you? Well, I didn't follow it much, but I know when I walked in the door, the stock was only about $35 a share, and that was pretty low. It was, in fact, they had just had an incentive to come to work and you got like $3,000 if you stayed for three months.

And the instructor said, I missed that just by just a little bit. But the instructors say most of those people that came in for the incentive walked out the door as soon as they got it. And that just greased me because that means that they were after greed and not really a career. But I walked in the door with a master's degree and worked on the production floor. And I often had people stop me and say, Sharon, what are you doing? And, you know, we were building the triple seven in Everett. But the time I was there four and a half years on the production floor, the stock rose. And there was a lot of, I guess the thing about the

triple seven was there's so much emphasis on perfection because there's people's lives at stake when you aren't doing your job to the utmost perfection. And the feeling that somebody had like, you know, one of your teammates might have let you down and created an avenue for less than our best kind of feels a little bit like betrayal. And I haven't been in touch with created an avenue for less than our best, kind of feels a little bit like betrayal. And I haven't been in touch with people that are still there, but I know the next job I went into was taking promsalming down to the lowest level,

and I was using my behavioral science. And there was, it was, I don't know, peeled battle because so many of the people, and especially the union people, they wanted to blame somebody, not solve something, you know, they were pretty good at what they did, but to blame the management instead of taking ownership was, they were facility people. They were not building the plane. They were taking, keeping the grounds moving and productive and improving the grounds. But the, the old parts as I call them at Bowie, they would rather, they would rather blame management. But the young people coming in, I definitely saw a difference in

their attitude that college was treating them to be a team player and to be collaborative. And I love collaborations. So I was glad to see the young people coming in because it was kind of rubbing those old parts a little the wrong way. And yet, you know, we all can learn something. And that's one of the primary things I want to encourage people in retirement is the keep learning and growing because you keep living longer when you do. I think there's so much to that. And stay active, stay physically fit, all those things.

We will be right back to the Passion Struck Podcast. Did you know that the majority of people who have a mental illness do not seek or receive treatment? I know I put it off for years. Why? Because I thought I would be judged and seen as weak. I doubted it would work. Had too much pride and thought I could solve my problems all by myself

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Now, back to passion struck. I did an episode way back at the beginning when I first launched the podcast with a friend of mine, Jiles Stewart, who he and I worked together both at Lowe's and Dell. And then Jiles ended up retiring. And he said for the next 12, 18 months, he found himself, you know, getting in the habit of being lazy, he had put on tons of weight, he felt like he had lost his purpose. And someone, you know, talked to him about rowing and said, you should give it a try. And for him,

rowing changed his life, so to speak, because not only did it introduce him to a physical activity, he started to really approach it as, you know, how do I become a better roar? And so it started impacting, you know, how we approached each day, the sleep cycle he would get, the foods he was eating. And now it's unleashed a whole other side of him that's now getting into creative writing about his experiences, et cetera.

So I wanted to ask, as you were leaving Boeing and then starting this next journey that you're that we'll talk about, did you have any of those same feelings of, you know, what do I do next? Did you, you know, did you feel lost at all and what would be your recommendation to those who are preparing to retire in the next coming years and how they could take the steps to prepare themselves better for it. Well, a couple of things. I had run a singles convention along with my church leadership back in the mid 80s and one of the things the director taught me

as I was moving up the ladder of responsibility there was always have the next thing to go to that I think he had learned early on because we've already been doing it by six years, I guess. And that once a convention is over because it was wildly successful that first year was 1200 people came and we'd never done this before. That there's a law after you've had this big building up to something and then nothing, you kinda go through a little bit of a depression like Malwater, what's next? And he taught me to have that next thing already lined up so I did that with retirement and

My work to my advice. I make these little art blocks. So do what you do for charity is a great simple way to Think about what are you doing today? That could be done for charity. If you're flying airplanes, who needs something delivered? Or who needs some people delivered? If you're a bean counter, who needs some accounting help? You know, I'd like to see billboards that actually say, boomers, what are you doing to come alongside your favorite charity?

Or charities that say, boomersers we need you to help us. Well so I um what I did it happened to be great timing I was doing this employee involvement facilitator and this email come across that sounded like it was a partnership with the college town you'd like, it was a partnership with the college to do, uh, enroll people in coaching class. And I thought, you know, a facilitator in a coach just seems like the next step. So I started looking at how could I get that training? And at the same time, they were eliminating my job because that's what our good facilitator does is you work yourself out of the job. So the same time, they were eliminating my job because that's what our good facilitator does is work yourself out of the job so the teams are having that new behavior themselves. And I was unsuccessful in getting going to pay for my education because

yeah, they wouldn't benefit from it since I was headed out the door. they would benefit from it since I was headed out the door. I decided to retire about 18 months early since instead of going through a new job search with Boeing. So yeah, I started coaching class a week before I retired. So that building a new plan as you go out the door or even the next that building a new plan as you go out the door or even the next two, three years before you return, like, could you expand on your hobby, you know, or could you turn something into a business that you've always wanted to do? Okay, and then, yeah, and then how, and then how did you find this new calling that you have now? Oh yeah, that was pretty interesting too. Okay, so I had listened to a webinar on out of the UK, just three or four months, it seemed like after I retired and he was saying it was all about mental strength. Oh, it wasn't mental health. It was mental strength. Who teaches on that and I love wisdom. So I signed up and

The guy told a story of having we and you need more confidence and more, you know backbone or you're facing something that scares you, recall a warm memory. Well, I'd always recall the warm memory of being in Christmas program and third grade and somebody complimenting me on being the best reader in there was three of us and I was their favorite. Well, his memory was, he learned to fly a plane and his picture was of his set in he learned to fly a plane. And his picture was of his set in the back seat of a plane.

And he was flying the plane for his, for his son taking his son on a trip. And I thought, you know, after a couple of weeks and I just had one more, warm memory, why don't I have a, something I can pull a list I can pull from. And I made a list of maybe 10 or 12 things and half of them were in front of people. Was I in the wrong career? Was I supposed to be in front of people? And so I started acting as if maybe that was supposed to be my journey and when an opportunity to come up to do a podcast, and when an opportunity to come up to do a podcast, I thought, well, you know, in front of people, I'll try the podcast.

I think I do have something to say. So I started acting as if the truth was, was worth listening to, I guess. Yes, well, there is a huge, I think, reason for all people who want to succeed in love life to work on their mental strength. Because to me, it's the absolute foundation of having a growth mindset and having the willpower to go after your dreams. And recently I've had the opportunity to interview

for former Navy SEALs. And each one of them talks to me about going through BUDs, their training program, their training after B after buds and serving. One of the biggest things they all learned was the ability to have mental strength. And how when even you think your body can't move another inch, can't take another minute in the cold, can't possibly run another mile, whatever it may be. You can overcome that by having mental strength and creating an unbeatable mind.

And I think that is one of the most important things to do, and it's also one of the hardest things, because in order to do it, you have to really start focusing on the brutal reality of whatever your current situation is and face yourself narrative. Because through that journey, which a lot of people don't spend the time doing, because it's hard just being there. I'm sure you've been there with your thoughts. being there. I'm sure you've been there with your thoughts. But to me, that's how you start creating the challenges that start moving you to more and more mental strength. I actually recently did a podcast on it. So, so as you are working with people now, how do you help them get stronger mentally? Well, the thing that makes me so unique from everybody else that deals with purpose, and I love purpose because that's where we are that find meaning and the reason to get out of bed, the reason to get out of the house, the

thing about, let me just slip this in, nobody tells us about retirement that you're the boss now. It's your time to shine. Nobody's going to tell you what needs to get done today. You have to come up with that yourself. But I was going to see you're giving me back to your question again. Well, I was asking, you know, how do you help your clients build mental strength? Mental strength. Okay. So the first thing we learned in coaching school was to write our essence statement. And I was, and mine starts out with I am precious jewel of wisdom. So since I love wisdom, I love collaborating, I then go on to say I am precious jewel.

Well, that I am colorful collaborator, motivator and learner. I am trend quote, authentic and pure inspire. I like fires. Well, I like to light fires in people and help them remember who they are. So one of the things that, you're still that dynamite trombone player that you were in high school.

You're still that educated person that performed lots of dynamic things that work and the tasks that you did, you're still that trustworthy and loyal person, but just because you don't have a job doesn't change you, you've made experiences and grown your talents. So all of that goes, all of that that you've been, the things that you enjoy doing, your values, your guiding principles, and other like goes into writing your essence statement. And we then assess and reflect, I'm often surprised at how much we don't reflect on life

and put it into a metaphor. I often think of a metaphor in this regard as kind of like the stories in the Bible, the parables. And because a metaphor will say different things to us at different times. So my metaphor was taking a set of jewelry that I had described myself as how do I contribute to my team at work and how am I valuable and all that and then I used it in my essence to describe me as a jewel of wisdom. having this essence statement is, it's who I know myself to be on the inside. Nobody teaches us how to really describe ourselves to our bosses on our interviews, and is this a fit or not a fit, because we haven't been trained how to describe

our inner spark, kind of like our DNA. And so when people live from their essence, their inner spark, it feels so good, because it's an alignment with how we were made and built. You know, over the years, I have had to take Breyer's myth, you know, all those types of tests. And I thought none of them was giving an accurate assessment of who I was. And then about eight, nine months ago, I took a test called the Cully Index, K-O-L-B-E. And after I got done, I was like, that is the first test that ever just nailed me. And it really brought out kind of my strengths

and also my weaker points. And I wish I would have known about it much earlier in my career because I thought it was a very accurate predictor of my strengths and weaknesses. So good one for you to check out. Yeah, I have actually, I have a good friend that has done the essence statement with even five and six year olds.

She was called in, I guess, when some of these kids were acting out and being disruptive to the class and the teacher was having a hard time handling them. And once they understood their essence, they settled right down. It's like, now I know who I am. I don't have to compare myself to somebody else. And you know, our younger younger years we did a lot of that comparison and fitting in and wearing the right jeans and right haircut and all that stuff. Well I've talked to a company recently called People of Cutie and they're teaching, well in fact I asked them what are you doing for retirees or people getting ready to retire and oh, we're not doing anything for that. I said, well, he went on to explain that they were doing it for new hires. So they were helping new hires come in and know what their strengths were and their values and that kind of thing. But then you didn't have

to concentrate on your weakness because then you, they like the term interdependence, where you let somebody else's strength complement you, and now it's no longer a frustration of being weak in something, you just will call on the person that's got that strength and you're good to go. So what a difference in hiring and having that knowledge at a young point in your career. Yeah, absolutely.

I mean, the more things you can do to really figure out who you are, so you're not pretending or trying to discover that along the way is very helpful in understanding the types of jobs you would want to get into. Yeah. is very helpful in understanding the types of jobs you would wanna get into. Do you really want that manager position or are you really better off being a coder or doing something else? So I think that those types of tools could be highly effective.

So it sounds like essence work is similar to some of the things that Lewis Hayes promoted around mirror work, where a lot of it is about affirmations. And telling you, when you do these essence statements, do you visit something that you say every single day to yourself? Do you do it in front of the mirror? How does that manifest itself? Well, good question. I, because I do these art blocks and have this, okay, so let color one. I love color. I love sewing and I love words wisdom. So I think it was about 10, 12 years ago that I started putting my three loves on a wall hanging back here.

And okay, so when I got through with getting that social security and the insurance, Medicare papers all while, you know, figured out. And, you know, that took about three, four months. Then I started kind of bouncing off the wall. I was like, how do I know if I'm productive today? I hate wasting time. And there's nobody telling me what needs to be done today. So I would come over and read my essence statement on my wall two and three times a day. And I started realizing it centered me. Every day that was living, lived from that essence of being a Jew of wisdom, a colorful

collaborator was a good day because it lined up with my values and my strengths and who I was. So I, once I realized that that helped center me, but there was probably a couple of months there that I read it a lot. I know one day, I read it three times because it's like, how do I move forward with the rest of my retirement? Yeah, this is a card that I look at every day. I have it right in front of me. Not sure if you can see it, but it says today we'll learn and grow and be present in every moment. In the back, it says life is a gift, wake up, wake up each day and realize that. So, you know, they're good, they're good reminders to have around because I think something off and saying, I don't care if you're a baby blumer or if you're like my my kids and your Gen Z it seems like You know the life I grew up in in the 70s and 80s, you know the life you grew up in before me

It felt like we focused much more on what was important. And oftentimes that was things like family and duty and dedication and things like that. And today it seems to me more and more the world is switching to a society that's focused on urgent versus important. And I often call it, in my book I refer to it as people are living a pinball life. And what ends up happening to them if you like the game of pinball is, you know, that ball,

if you're that ball, you just keep randomly bouncing off of things and let, you know, the noises, the lights, the distractions control your well-being. But you can master the game of pinball, and you can start directing that ball where you want it to go. But it really means you've got to be present in the moment, and you've got to focus on even in that game, what is important so that you can win the game? And I think that is a huge problem.

Why today, regardless of generation, you know, only between 5% and 10% are living up to their full capability. And also a reason why so many are disengaged. Yeah, the book that made a lot of sense to me around that, John is Steven Covey's, the Seven Habits a highly effective people. And they talk about the important versus urgent.

And that involves some of that reflection time too, is to one of my putting my valuable time into focus. So yeah, I was reading that at the time that I was getting transferred to Tampa, Florida, and I live in Washington state. So that was a long ways from home, but it, it's so spoke to, well, begin with the end in mind is where you start. And so I had written my, what do I want people to say at my funeral and then work back from that. So that's how I relate to what you said. Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting you bring up Steven Covey because one of the favorite

homilies you could say or messages I've ever heard of preacher preach was from Steven Covey and it was the main thing about the main thing is keeping and it was the main thing about the main thing is keeping the main thing, the main thing. And it has so many meanings in life because so many of us lose sight of the main thing. It's one of the main reasons that, if you look at entrepreneurs who found a problem to solve,

and then after a while, lose their way, I guarantee you 99% of the time, it's because they've taken their ball off of the main thing that they were trying to solve. And it's so much in our lives, too, whether, you know, what are the main things that you want to accomplish in your retirement? You know, what are the main things that you've got to do every day to stay healthy, to stay cognitively strong, et cetera? It's focusing on that main thing. You know, in a church setting, it's obviously keeping

God the main thing. Or if you're a pastor, a pastor, focusing on your flock. So I think there's so much that can be learned from Covey. And if you look at Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I think she was the epitome of keeping the main thing, the main thing throughout her entire life and her focus on women's rights and so many things that she did.

and her focus on women's rights and so many things that she did. Yeah, I, one of the things that Boeing that I learned, not too long before I left there was, they said, the story was that people die within three years of retiring. What? I mean, that just really hurt to hear that, but I've heard another business, um, retiree, you say the same thing in that myth had been going around their, their, business. And, um, I, I have, I, here on my patio, I have some planters and I love growing

petunias and duraniums and, um, one, one pot, I just, just keep struggling trying to keep it alive. I don't know why, but oh yeah, I have to water it over there. Oh, oh, if it's not growing, it's dying. Okay, that's kind of like in retirement, if we're not growing or dying. So maybe three years is how long it takes us to, you know, go down hill. And, you know, when I, I intend to live to 100 John, I don't know about you. But the, the growing and learning is what keeps us alive and young, you know, if life is tough, yeah, it's probably keeping you young at the same time. We'll be right back to the Passion Struck podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by Issue. I know from me first impressions are everything.

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remember, so we will make sure we put them in the show notes. Please consider supporting those who support this show and make it possible. Now, back to passion struck. Well, I don't care your what age you are, there's always a problem out there that's worth solving that you can invest your time in, whether that is being meaningful in an adolescence life who doesn't have the wisdom of maybe they only have a single parent or maybe they're a foster child or it could be something else, it could be helping them, it could be you know helping veterans and the homeless, it could be you know writing a memoir of your life or writing a different book, you know there's so many things

that we all have knowledge and that could be helpful to other people. And I think there's no time in your life where there shouldn't be a focus on serving others. And I think that's another big issue of society today is we have too much, I call it the contagion of ego, or think of it this way of self importance. And that clouds, I think, so much of the calling that we are meant to have. Because when you're so self-absorbed, the calling doesn't come to you on what you should be doing with your life, regardless of age. And I'm not sure if that's something you've run into as well. And I'm not sure if that's something, you know, you've run into as well. Well, one of the blocks I don't have a year, but I did make one block. I didn't figure it'd be all that popular, but an ego driven person does not ask,

what do you think? You know, a boss or a manager that's that's in control. Having them ask their, their workers, what do you think? Doesn't even occur to them. But talking about writing, this, my book, Fresh Courage and Retirement comes out next week. And this is a full of ideas of exploring possibilities and retirement. So I help people start out with just taking baby steps towards

actions that are leading to their purpose, but I include some of my podcasts that I've transcribed to people that help their city be an age-friendly city. A lady that did volunteerism around the world for a year. A guy that gave nine tips for what you get out of volunteering. And so it's all across the spectrum of helping people go, oh yeah, oh yeah, I guess that is possible. You know, if we all become curious in the three-year-old, we could not, nothing will stop us. That is true. Well, congratulations on writing a book. I know it's not easy for me. It's something I contemplated for years. And then it was one of those things that I never started. And then once I finally started it, because I'd done all the research. It kind of poured out of me over a period of four or five months. Are you self-publishing? Did you find a publisher for it? I am self-publishing. I'm using some local people here. My editor is a lady I'd met a Chamber of Commerce, and then she works with a publisher in about 10 miles away

that EDK distributing. And I am self-publishing. John, I relate to your, I didn't do that much research, I guess, but I definitely felt from my gut. I felt a pooling from, you know, sharing there so many reality shows and so many, you know, tell it like it is. So you got to reach in your gut and give, you know, the darn close the awful truth. And so I, and I, you said adult picture book John, the, the, these little blocks are featured in the book as chapter transitions. And I've heard nobody's really explained it to me, but that when you see beauty with wisdom, it goes in your brain a different way. And that neuroscience is so

fascinating to me, but I had realized that over the years, and like I say, I appreciated it, but I didn't know I can't explain how it's different, but it seems to hit our spirit instead of just our logic. Yeah, I think those are great points. And it sounds like it's going to be a great read. It has been so interesting for me trying to get my arms around this whole book publishing area, because I think the number of books that people are wanting to publish is actually going up. I think the number of books that people are wanting to publish is actually going up. But it seems like most of the traditional publishers, not the indie publishers, but the traditional ones want the authors to have such a huge platform.

And what surprised me is I've talked to a lot of authors is I thought many of these major publications would be doing a ton of promotional work and it's really not the case. Almost all of it falls on the author regardless of if it's a self an interesting experience for me on what direction to go. And it's probably caused me not to put the book out for about 18 months as I was deciding to sit on it. And I think that sitting process was good because through all the podcasts I did, it actually made me test concepts out and some were working

and some weren't. So, you know, I actually was able to use that to refine the book pretty well and I'm sure your podcasts are helping you with it as well. Yeah, I had no idea that they would lead into the book and yet I tend to be quite a thinker and not so much a talker. So, you know, my, my variety of stories was, I felt limited. And my editor said, well, you need some more antidotes and stories to throw in here. And that's when I thought, oh, I've got stories from my, from my podcast desk that will help me fill in and tell the story because they had come from such a variety of directions. But there's a young man that runs past my street here and I actually saw him yesterday in the coffee shop whose self published seven

or eight books. His main topic is on mental, mental health. And he's published like eight books now, all independently. And his main following is on Twitter. And he sold said he sold 35,000 bucks. Wow. I have, I, I, I need to talk to him because I wish I could figure out how to properly use Twitter because it, it is the one social media platform that I just can't crack. I mean, I haven't looked at it. I just recently got on Instagram.

And so I'm becoming, I have become the queen of courage on Instagram, but I'm not sure. I know everything I need to of courage on Instagram. But I'm not sure I know everything. I need to know you then on Instagram and Clubhouse, not yet. Well, Instagram is about the hashtags that you use. And then it's about the likes, shares, comments, saves and other things that people are doing. And that's how through maximizing

those, that's how the algorithms and Instagram seems to start promoting you to more and more people. You know, that's a lot of, you know, I'm up, I think I have 35,000 followers, and that's a lot of the way that that happened was by honing in on those different components, but it is, you know, each one of these platforms takes time to perfect. Now, you have a saying I saw on your LinkedIn page that when we live from our heart, life has meaning and is seemingly effortless. And I was hoping you might go into that a little bit more. Well, effortless to me, like you mentioned in your little card, is being present and living from our heart.

And that's why I think the essence is so profound is that when you're living from your heart, things just flow. I don't know who the writer was that made being in the flow so popular years ago, but it's when your juices are running. You can go that extra mile without a whole lot more effort because it flows from our heart. And I've often been amazed at Brunei Brown and how she did so much research on people who live wholeheartedly. I want everybody to live wholeheartedly

because life is full, man. You've got people around you that support you and you're supporting them and that give and take of life and the flow of being present with everybody is just there. And one of the big things for once you retire is you realize maybe you don't have that support system anymore.

In fact, John, I had it heard from a couple people that first responders and military people both fall into a dire category because in retirement, all those PTSD events that happened to them, they just start replaying because they have lots of time on their hand. And there is a retirement coach, him and his wife were both first responders that I don't remember even what's date he's in, but he's focusing on. helping working with people to heal those PTSD memories. So they can live from their heart and making new choices and moving forward. I know I took a man I was doing lift for a year and pilots are in the same category and they don't wanna retire.

And to me, the logic that I made sense of, they're in a different city every day. Having a support system is like, where, when, I don't have time for that. Those are the people that need, especially, to be focusing on how can I expand my involvement, even though I'm out of town, a book club or golfing partners or something.

That support system is so valuable in that living from our heart. Well, that's great. So Sharon, I did want to give you the opportunity that if the listener of you or would like to know more about you and I'll put this in the show notes. How can they contact you? Well, my my email is Sharon at effortlessfytality.org or G the com domain was taken when I signed up for that my book is available on pre order on

fresh courage book dot now dot side s it pre-order on freshcouragebook.now.site. Amazon does have it for pre-order. And yesterday when I checked the paper copy of the book will be available to 18. So that's next week, I believe. I have a launch event that's happening on Tuesday for the Kindle version. I'm having two Zoom presentations with speakers. The lady that taught me how to write my essence statement will,

I have her on tape to share from her because that's going to be good wisdom. But the Facebook page where that will be showing at 9 a.m. Pacific time and 5 p.m. Pacific time is fresh courage in retirement. A Facebook page that they can easily find there and listen to it. I hope to have sound bites of it, put on various mediums, LinkedIn and so forth, and days to come. But I especially want to work with people who are ready to learn and grow and be all that they can be and return it, because I've got 30 years left. Okay, I actually bred John that I'm 73 and nobody believes me anyway, so I brag about it. Well, my grandmother lived to be 101, so you can do it too.

Okay. Okay. Well, Sharon, thank you so much for being on the show. Was it the light to have you? Thank you. I'm going to follow a passion strike because they're living from our patient. Well, in this little box, I often, when I read this block, a patient has ability to light a spark in all of us.

I think about people that serve us in restaurants and how people that do it really good have their job to fit some like a glove. And don't we all want something that fits us like a glove? What a great way to end. Given tonight is Christmas Eve, I wanted to especially wish all of you

a happy and safe Christmas and happy new year. During today's episode, we mentioned a previous episode that we did also on retirement, which featured my friend, Giles Stewart, and how he is finding passion in retirement. That was episode 12, if you want to go back and check it out. We have some amazing guests coming up over the next couple of months. These include Auralist, Speaker, and Author, Jen Brickerbauer, Former Vice Chairman, JP Morgan Chase, Jeffrey Walker, Banner X, Chief Heart Officer,

Claude Silver, Former Green Bray, Andrew Marr, and actress Haiti Chanakis, who has appeared alongside Nicholas Cage, Robert De Niro, Jennifer Aniston, and many more. And if there's a guest like that that you would like me to interview, please feel free to reach out to me on Instagram at John R. Miles or hit me up on LinkedIn at John Miles. Thank you so much for helping us

grow this passion-struck movement and helping people become their authentic selves. Until next time, be passion-struck. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make passion go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more please subscribe to the Passion Start podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher or

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And remember, make a choice, work hard, and step into your sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us. you