Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Steph Lee On Meditation Benefits for People with Chronic Illness EP 40

Starting point is 00:00:00 I love walking now. Like, I never used to be like, I'm so glad I can walk today. But now I wake up and like, oh my gosh, I'm going to go walking today. I can walk. And like, it's so nice to be able to breathe and get oxygen. And it's like all these things that, I mean, there were times when, like, lifting up a spoon was too heavy for me. And like, the repetitive movement of doing that would burn my muscles like when i was doing ski races, which is ridiculous but you know it's,

Starting point is 00:00:33 there are just so many small things like every day when i have a good day i try to live it out to the fullest i, I, and I don't, it's hard because I still run my company and I still have to work, but I try to make sure like on my good days that I get to go out and do something that fills my cup. Like I get to go out and go gardening or walking or go get, you know, take a drive in the car, like really crazy stuff, you know? Hello, Visionaries, creators, innovators,

Starting point is 00:01:01 entrepreneurs and leaders of all types. Hi, my name is John Miles and I wanted to welcome you to this episode of the Passion Start Podcast, where it is my job to interview high achievers from all walks of life and unlock their secrets and lessons to become in Passion Start. The purpose of our show is to curb you, the listener, by giving you lessons, tools, and activities that you can use to achieve a passion-driven life. Now, let the journey begin.

Starting point is 00:01:31 Welcome to the Passion Start Podcast and episode 40. I can't believe we already have 40 episodes in such a short time. Thank you all of you in the audience for listening and watching our program on a regular basis and helping our goal of making passion go viral for reality. And we're already so far on our way with over 150,000 downloads and views already. Thank you so much and I would ask you as always if you love today's episode please give it a five-star rating and share it with some growth-minded friends who could use inspiration in their life.

Starting point is 00:02:11 I'll start today's episode with a quote from motivational speaker John Schiff. In this quote, he says, you either grow bitter or you get better. It's that simple. You either keep what has been dealt you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you.

Starting point is 00:02:33 What an amazing and powerful quote, and what a great lead-in to our guest, Steph Lee, who is leading such an adventurous and fulfilled life, and then out of nowhere, everything for her changed. And we're going to go through that change and the drastic impact it had on her life. But through that hand that was dealt her, she has come out so much stronger and more powerful in her conviction to help others and to change the world. We're going to go through her complete journey, what she's doing now, and how she inspires others through what she has done through.

Starting point is 00:03:09 Now let me tell you a little bit more about Steph Leigh. Steph is the founder of Post Agency Reviews, a website that connects over 70,000 travel advisers a month to travel industry resources. Post Agency Reviews helps people looking to join the travel industry and provides them a roadmap to successfully start and grow travel agencies. Byrd starting this company, staff was a director at a $50 million travel agency, which she developed a deep appreciation for the specific challenges that independent advisors face when they

Starting point is 00:03:46 who are starting an agency. And thus, her company was born to address those challenges and to help usher in a new era travel advisors to get their start with those agencies. Describe as the match.com or Yelp for travel agents looking for larger travel agency to align with. Fars resources also include popular travel events, calendar, podcast, and depth blog and more. You should go check it out and I'll put it in the show notes. In her free time, you can usually find staff gardening, mediating, exploring with her two adorable pups. We're eating warm, delicious chocolate chip cookies.

Starting point is 00:04:27 I am so excited to introduce you to Steph and now let's become a practical start. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUT Welcome to the show, Stephanie. I'm so excited to welcome you to the Passion Start podcast. Thank you so much, John. I'm really happy to be here. Well, it's so great to sing you again, and having this opportunity to speak with you. And I was trying to figure out the best place for us to start. And I think it may be sharing something you and I have in common, which is global travel.

Starting point is 00:05:00 Let's go back in time. You had started a new business. And I think the listeners would really love to understand this and also get some experiences that you had doing some of the global travel. Yes, so I started my company. I think that was maybe like 30 or 32. It's all so long ago.

Starting point is 00:05:18 But so I work in the travel industry, and my family had a travel agency growing up. My dream was to create this remote working. I could work anytime and from anywhere. So I created this website and it's similar to kind of, you could think of it as a match.com for travel advisors looking to align, similar how realos hers align with a larger company.

Starting point is 00:05:41 Travel agents do the same thing. So it's kind of like a Yelp directory of that. And then there's a blog portion of it. And you know, at the time when I started my company, I was living such a charmed life. Like, I'm a naturally very happy and optimistic person. And I loved it. I was, you know, I was traveling around in the travel industry. You get to go a lot of places. So I was traveling around. I got to, when I was home, I loved playing tennis or cross-country skiing in the winter. And I would play during the days, maybe do a little bit of work, but I was more of a night owl

Starting point is 00:06:16 and would do my work at night. It was just this beautiful life of traveling all the time. Like in the travel industry, it's tricky because you're working when you're traveling, but you're not, it's not the way other people work. You're not typically in a conference center unless you're going to a conference, but you're like experience the different product. So you, you're going to the resort. So you're going to the destinations and going on, you know, you're seeing the turtles and Costa Rica come at night and lay their eggs in the sand and like that's an amazing experience for work, like quote unquote work.

Starting point is 00:06:52 A lot of people look a lot more boring than that. Or you're going on like an Alaskan backpacking thing or a helicopter ride in Alaska. It's just really fun things. I was very much envious of my mom and her brother that she took after all of us had moved on and went to college, but the family moved to Chant Nuga, Tennessee, and at the time,

Starting point is 00:07:16 they announced that they were doing a groundbreaking for the Tennessee Aquarium, and she applied very early and became the second employee of the Aquarium and was in charge of membership. So as the membership director, she got to go on all these trips to sample them before she was going to take the members on them. So I remember her going to the Galapagos Islands and she got to go to Africa a few times in the early portion of her career because she was there 20, 25 years. She would get to do the pre-scouting trip and then she would go on the actual trip with all the members and I was like, what better job could you possibly have? It is. They're amazing. I mean, I don't want to paint it as

Starting point is 00:07:58 this all-playing and no work because it's very much like when travel advisors or like travel media go on a trip. Like sometimes you're seeing 10 resorts a day and you're walking like when I went to Ireland like we were off at like six in the morning and didn't go to bed till 10 and we were walking all day like to see as many of the properties and the castles as we could but it's still really fun and it's it's glorious and in a of ways, but it can be very tiring. Well, I have to tell you, and my trips to Ireland, I have never seen a country as green as that country.

Starting point is 00:08:36 It is just an it's hard to explain because it every where you go, it is at the time I was stationed in Spain and we got to go to Scotland and the UK and Ireland, but we were in the middle of a drought at that point in southern Spain. And then having seen all this just red clay and dirt everywhere and then you fly into Ireland and it was almost as if you were in this unbelievable photo synthesis of green pastures and greenness everywhere you looked. And that's one of those.

Starting point is 00:09:08 You just wanted to roll in the moss. You were like, oh! All these different travel locations, what were some of your favorite experiences you got to enjoy? So this is interesting. So I love cold weather destinations. I'm not, well, this is precickness,

Starting point is 00:09:23 but I love cold weather destinations. I've always loved cold. Like I was a big cross country skier. So my favorite trips were probably I went to the Polar Bear capital of the world in Churchill, Manitoba. And that was, that was so much fun. It's in the middle of nowhere. Like there's no railroad. Like there's no way to get there except for flying in because it's just in the middle of nowhere. It's on the south side of Hudson Bay. And in the fall, the polar bears come out of hibernation, start doing ready to the sea, going to the sea ice. You know, I've seen polar bears and zoos and I've always loved polar bears. I just, I think they're adorable. I know they're deadly, but so adorable. And we, like, it's this really small town, and you go in there and it's just centered around polar bears. There's people from the, like the park service in Canada on kind of the outskirts of town, and they have these rifles and they shoot up, they call them bear bangers,

Starting point is 00:10:18 because there's polar bears wandering around all over the Tundra, and they to try to scare them away and keep them away from town. There's like signs everywhere about about if you see a polar bear call this number, it was it was so much fun. There's they have like polar bear jail outside of town where it's essentially like an airplane hangar. I think it's official name is the polar bear holding facility, but they call it the polar bear jail. And there was like airdropsrops so they wakes up too early. They'll tranquilize them and then they'll airlift them to the polar bear jail to hold them there until it's time to go out

Starting point is 00:10:52 and see ice. And so it's just crazy like you'll see like this helicopter with these cargo nets below it. You can see the polar bear inside but it's just such an interesting place and the beauty of the tundra is, it's very subtle, but at the same time it's very majestic. The fact that so much life happens and such a desolate looking place is really remarkable. But that was, that was my, by far, my favorite trip. Well, sounds like something I got to put on the bucket list. Oh, you should. Don't pet them now. Don't pet, yes. People ask me the same question and I give them an answer that they're not really prepared for. I actually enjoyed going to India, but not necessarily into the tier one cities that

Starting point is 00:11:36 you would think of like Bangalore, Chennai, etc. Which I had her bad. I, which I've been to many, many times. But when I was at Dell, we had a vendor called UST Technologies who they were headquartered in the US, but their main base of operations was in Southern India. And one of my good friends who was there said, one of these trips that you take over there, you've got to make the flight down there and come visit us. And so I flew down to

Starting point is 00:12:05 the state is called Trevendrum. It's in the southernmost tip of India. And I remember correctly, it borders two or three different bodies of water that converge. But what was amazing to me about it was they have all these backwaters. And so I would go there, do my official business on a Thursday and Friday, and then have the weekends there. And similar to the Pacific Ocean, many of the boundaries on the water are on cliffs. And so you got to have that experience, but you could rent your own houseboat. And what I would do is I'd rent the houseboat. And at that point, you could rent it for about $75, $80 US a night. Have this whole houseboat to yourself, or you'd have a crew on board who would serve you all your meals.

Starting point is 00:12:53 But then I would invite all my Indian friends, and for the weekend, we would just cruise all around the backwaters. And it was a great experience. So at Dell, we would make all these around the world trips. And so you'd have multiple stopping points. And as I was going between Europe, I spent time in India and then to Malaysia Singapore, I started always going to prevent them because it was such a relaxing and beautiful place. Yeah, because I mean, there is the there is the difference between the business work and the relaxing, like going off and you're actually getting to connect

Starting point is 00:13:27 with the locals and going at your own pace. Yes, as we talked before the show, I think that's one of the things people see is you get to do all this travel. And yours and mine were a little bit different because when you're doing professional travel, I was always so jet lagged because you're immediately getting off the plane

Starting point is 00:13:42 and then having to go into work. So oftentimes you don't get to enjoy it the same way, but I really did take the opportunities to enjoy that part of India. So you're having this great career, this absolute career that you wanted and had built for yourself and then something happened. Can you kind of walk the listeners and watchers through that? Yes, so as you've probably gathered from my story that I've told so far is that, you know, I was a very motivated like my career was the the site was taking off. I had already one a bunch of awards in the industry. I was very well known and I was a very driven and very active.

Starting point is 00:14:24 I had oftentimes I was told I had more energy than anyone they've ever met. And then I just got back from a trip from Costa Rica. And I started like my cross-country ski. I was on a woman's club team. Our training season was sturdy. And I was like, I'd gone to some practices and I just, I wasn't feeling more like running was really hard. And the fatigue was just kind of different than normal. And I'd

Starting point is 00:14:51 had like some aches in my joints, which I thought was just, you know, getting older at whatever 32. Little did I know there's a lot worse to go. And then like I had, I started having a lot of like, I couldn't sleep. Like like could not sleep for three days And I finally went to the doctor because I don't know how to describe it But there's something neurological like I was so exhausted my body, but neurologically I felt super fired up and Just felt really off. So I went to the doctor. She gave me some sleeping pills so I could sleep and Then that weekend like my legs, like from my waist down. And that was scary. And I called the doctor and, you know, they came in and saw me, didn't couldn't find anything wrong,

Starting point is 00:15:36 but got me in to see like a neurologist or something, but it was further out. And then, but then as I was one thing I noticed, it was when I was walking, I didn't notice the tingling in my legs as much. And so I like to try to walk. So I was out walking with a friend, and they had told me like, if it starts moving to call in, and it started moving up into my face,

Starting point is 00:15:58 but I think it was the right side of my face. You know, I wasn't familiar with stroke symptoms at the time, and it just wasn't on my radar. So I was talking to my friend and we got home, and I called the nurse and she said, you need to call the ambulance right now. And so I got kind of hysterical because I was like, I was just so healthy before that.

Starting point is 00:16:20 And we called the paramedics and they came up and they did some tests. And there was one where they have you put your arms out and hold them out and close your eyes. And so I closed my eyes. And I'll I remember with opening my eyes and my right arm had fallen and I didn't know it. And I like freaked out. And I was hysterical and crying and didn't know it was going on. They're like, okay, we're just going to take you to the hospital and they put me in the ambulance

Starting point is 00:16:48 and then they were doing some more tests and they didn't have the lights on and we did some more tests in the ambulance and then they had me stick out my tongue and I don't know what happened but something happened that they turned on the lights and this was my first parade into the medical world. I'd never really gone to the doctor. So they brought me to the ER and it was just like everything I'd seen in the movies. Like they're throwing my clothes off. They're like there's like seven people coming at me and lifting me and you know things being attached to me everywhere and I was just like what is happening. But they did a CT scan and they're like, there's no stroke that's happening.

Starting point is 00:17:26 They didn't really diagnose it. So I went in to see a neurologist. And I was having more and more symptoms. Like my heart would be doing weird things. Like my body essentially just started falling apart. And I became like, some days I couldn't walk. Like I couldn't lift my feet properly. I looked like maybe someone with Parkinson's but without the shaking like, you know, just shuffling and I didn't know what was wrong and I was getting these sensations all over my body.

Starting point is 00:17:54 It felt very neurological. He did some tests and he was like, there's nothing wrong with you. I went to two other neurologists for second opinions and was told, I need to see a psychiatrist and like, why do you keep coming to us? And so I was bedbound for that happened in September and it wasn't until March that I was able to get into a rheumatologist and she tried me on Pregi's own, which cuts down inflammation,

Starting point is 00:18:28 and within a day and a half, I was able to walk. I felt like, I felt amazing. And I was like, why doesn't everyone stay on Pregi's own all the time? This is so great, but it's not. And so that was kind of the beginnings of the disease, but I didn't get a diagnosis. It took like seven years to get a diagnosis,

Starting point is 00:18:48 or six years to get a diagnosis, a firm one. Well, I actually have a guest that's coming on the next couple of weeks, and she was about your same age. She's from the UK, and at that time had traveled to Boston, and was staying with a friend of hers, and then out of nowhere,

Starting point is 00:19:06 started having these weird symptoms and it turned out to be a stroke with her. It was kind of the same thing you went through. She went through years and years of them trying to figure out what caused the stroke and the ramifications from it. So how much different after that event and over the next seven years did your life become from what it was before?

Starting point is 00:19:28 180 degree difference like I went I Didn't travel for years. I actually was just on medical leave from the site for my first two years like in rheumatology the treatments it's not like when you get an antibiotic and the treatments, it's not like when you get an antibiotic and, you know, a week later you're feeling fine. It's like, well, let's try this medicine. It takes four months to work. And then, okay, so that's not working. Let's add this one. It takes six months to work full effect. Let's up the dose a little bit. It just takes forever to find the right treatments and they didn't know exactly what I had. So they diagnosed me with undifferentiated connective tissue disease, which is essentially we know you have a rheumatological disease, we just don't know what it is. It's tough because there's a catalog of drugs that they'll use for them, but they obviously work much better when you know what the person has.

Starting point is 00:20:22 So for me, I was just trying all these different drugs, and they're pretty toxic. But I mean, my quality of life was incredibly poor for the five or six years before getting diagnosed, because I would have these terrible flares. I would be in a wheelchair, wouldn't be able to walk sometimes and needed like a power wheelchair, because it was, it was even hard for me to hold my head up. I needed like a neck rust. In hindsight,

Starting point is 00:20:51 the stroke that I was having was more of a TIA or a transient ischemic attack, which means the blood is just cut off for a little bit, but doesn't do any lasting damage. But through the years, cut off for a little bit, but doesn't do any lasting damage. But through the years, I would have a lot of brain fog and different problems because blood wasn't getting to my brain or different body parts. And so I wouldn't, there was no way I could work. Like sometimes I couldn't even talk well. Like I couldn't find the right, I used to be a writer, that's what my site was, like I was a prolific writer. I wrote a lot for the blog and was an educator, but I couldn't even think. So, but in many ways, I was very lucky because I'd started this site. And my goal was when it got off and running, I would be able to travel through whatever I wanted, but instead I ended up being home

Starting point is 00:21:41 sick, but I was still had this income coming in. Like my traffic on my site stayed the same or grew during that time and my advertiser stayed on. So I had that going for me, but it was it was a challenging time and a lot because they didn't know what I had and the drugs weren't working well. I would flare all the time in my, you know, one of my really bad flares affected my lungs and they, like I couldn't breathe, I couldn't talk, I couldn't get out of bed. It was, and it was scary, that was the first time I literally felt like I was dying. They didn't know what it was. They did it like a CT scan on my lungs and they there was there was some they're called ground glass opacities and they actually like with COVID patients they'll get

Starting point is 00:22:28 ground glass opacities in their lungs. They they called me one day and said you have oh what was it? Interstitial lung disease which like when you google it it's like oh it's like essentially you're not going to be able to breathe and die and I was just like crying. I was so upset. But then I got a call like the next day. And they're like, actually, so the pulmonologist doesn't agree with us.

Starting point is 00:22:53 And so I think the rheumatologist thinks it's still like some damage was done. And it's interstitial lung disease, but the pulmonologist wasn't on board. And so you just learn a lot when you're in the medical world. Like the doctors don't often don't agree, like in different, especially when they're in different fields. But that was, you know, the flares were really bad

Starting point is 00:23:15 and they put me on Pregisone a lot to keep it under control. So I was on high doses of Pregisone. And I was very much active before I got sick. I was always an athlete and I gained 70 pounds because Prejazone does terrible things to your body. One of which, just one of which is like, it blows you up like a whale and you, you know, your Google photos will be like,

Starting point is 00:23:40 who is this person? You're like, that's me. Okay. And so. Well, and I imagine, I mean, not only you were this active person, but it changes your whole lifestyle because you're not able to go out to dinner with friends. You're not able to socialize. You can't go to concerts. I'm sure it impacted your relationships.

Starting point is 00:24:00 Yeah. Yeah. And it's hard to because the like with some diseases, they're more steady, but mine was so unpredictable. So it was scary like there was no way I was traveling because like do I bring my power wheelchair because it literally can be one day I wake up and I can't walk. And you know, I could have a great day and then the next day like not be able to breathe. It was just like, there was just no firm footing for me. So, yeah, so I'm sure while you're going through this, there are all kinds of fears that start going through your mind. I do even remember what some of those were. I mean, will I ever live a normal life again? Will I be able to have my career back? Will I be able to do activities? I'm sure lots of things were going through your mind. Yeah, I kind of depended on in the beginning, I was incredibly scared.

Starting point is 00:24:49 I just, I didn't, there were so many new sensations in my body and, you know, I was being told, this was psychological and it was in my head by every single neurologist I saw. And even up until I was diagnosed, the neurologist didn't want to do any tests on me. But I think one of the graces of it is the brain fog was so bad. A lot of times I couldn't even think.

Starting point is 00:25:13 Like I would listen, try to listen to, you know, as bed bound for so long. So I try to listen to books on tape to pass the time. But I couldn't remember what was being said. So I just rewind and like listen to the same thing like 17 times because I was like, who is that person again? I mean, I just was not myself, but there, there were just fears of like, I would say the big fear in the beginning was this sudden realization, like, what if this isn't my head and what if my friends and family think I'm

Starting point is 00:25:41 faking this? Which I like, I didn't know what people were thinking. I had no idea what was going on. And I couldn't explain, I thought doctors knew everything, which I realized now they don't. And that there's a lot of gray in the medical world. But I was like, I can't explain why I'm totally different. But I, and I lost some friends that you know they loved the outgoing fun charismatic staff that loved to do everything and jumped off waterfalls and I was about as far from that as you could get but I had so many wonderful friends that stuck with me through the time. And I will also say that being forced to stay home, like I have so my relationships are so much stronger and better now than they, and maybe it's part of just getting older. This happens. I'm not sure. But like, I just have so many deep friendships now, versus before I was always, you know,

Starting point is 00:26:42 traveling every three weeks. So I missed a lot of things. So what was for you? So this period kind of went on for about seven years. What started to be the turning points that you started to see or the steps you started to take? Or I'm not sure if it was a choice that you made, but what began to become different? It was about a year in, because I always thought medicine

Starting point is 00:27:08 had something that would fix a person. Unless you had cancer or something else. Like there would be a medicine and you would get better. And when I first got sick, I was so fearful. I met the rheumatologist and she started treatment and I thought then I would be fine. And it was later that fall, I'd been doing better on the Pregzone. And later that fall, I was just, I'd visited some family in New York City and on the last day there, like I noticed when I was walking my legs started getting heavier and I was having a little bit of

Starting point is 00:27:44 trouble breathing. And I was like, this is a little weird and then another flare head and it was, it was just devastating for me because I thought we had this disease under control and it was that winter I found an audio book by John Cobbitts and who does a lot of like mindfulness or like meditation. But his is his base for people with chronic illnesses and and PTSD and different things along those lines. So it's very pointed towards people that have had their life upended and are in a lot of pain and feel like lost. And I listened to his pain relief for meditation for pain relief book. And it was like life changing for me. I was like, this man is, he knows exactly what I'm going through. And I had felt so alone because I didn't know any other 32-year-olds that couldn't walk or,

Starting point is 00:28:39 you know, had their life flipped upside down like this. and to realize that more people had it and that there was you don't have a choice when these things happen to you but you do have a choice and how you react to it and that was my only choice in the world and that's the only thing I was actually in control of and so I started meditating then I'd never heard of it. And I took like an MBSR class or a mindfulness-based stress reduction, which is what kind of the course that he created. And my partner, Paul, took it with me. And it got me through the last six or seven years. I mean, I have my meditation app on my phone,

Starting point is 00:29:19 but I mean, I just meditate all the time. And when I was really sick, I would be meditating up to like six hours a day, six, meditate all the time. And when I was really sick, I would be meditating up to like six times a day, or six hours a day, six, seven hours a day. I was like super at peace when I was meditating that much. It was like instead of, I hadn't realized it, but I was fighting, you know, so often you hear someone talking about being a warrior with the disease or fighting it.

Starting point is 00:29:43 And if it's something that's acute, that you can get over, that's fine. But chronic illness, I can fight it as long as I want. But the reality is I'm going to get sick and I'm not in control. There's only so much I can control. And so that was a big changing point for me was instead of fighting it, accepting it.

Starting point is 00:30:04 And it doesn't mean that I'm like, oh, I'm just gonna lay in bed all day. But being like, okay, this is my life. And I have a choice on what I can do with it. So what do I want to do? Yeah, and once you made that choice that you weren't gonna be a victim to it and that you were going to make the most out of

Starting point is 00:30:21 what you had been dealt with, what are some of the changes that started to happen and how would you say, what is your life like now and what are some of the actions that you took in addition to the meditation that have been the most impactful? I think it's just a lot more chill. Like I don't try to control as much.

Starting point is 00:30:40 Like, you know, before when you're a really driven person, you often try to control things and try to make everything perfect. That was a bit of a perfectionist. And just kind of letting go and being like, okay, you know, if the dishes aren't done, that's okay because I'm tired or like just trying to, I've found so much joy in small things like I picked up gardening as a hobby. I found so much joy in small things. I've picked up gardening as a hobby. And that's something that brings me tons of joy like to just, because when I'm really, really sick,

Starting point is 00:31:11 I can't even really leave my house because I can't breathe well and it's so hard to walk. And so I would just use my walker and I would walk around our house and look at our flowers or like we bought a bunch of growlite and I have like a little station where I can take care of plants during the winter here. So that's been you lose so much of yourself like my identity was I played tennis four or five times a week and I skied four times four or five times a week every winter.

Starting point is 00:31:36 I was always out in the snow. I love snow-shoeing going on the lakes, um sledding. I mean, I lost everything I loved. And yeah, so finding new hobbies and building deeper connections with my friends. And even with work, it's been great for my business in terms of like my stress is never high. It used to be really high with the business. You know, I'd be like, oh my god, I sent out a newsletter and I made a mistake or like, this needs to get done right away. And it's like, I just have a lot bigger picture of things. And I'm like, okay, the newsletter went out, there's nothing I can really do.

Starting point is 00:32:15 So, you know, I'll learn for next time or even with my employees, like being a lot more chill and like one of the things is for my employees, I want what I have for them in terms of like a work life balance. Like I don't think as their boss and as a company owner that I want a culture where people are, you know, working evenings and weekends and feeling like they have to get things done or like, you know,

Starting point is 00:32:41 if someone keeps doing things wrong and isn't a good employee, they won't stay on with the company, but like mistakes happen and I don't, I'm just a lot more chill about things and it's done really well for the company. Like I hired employees, which I never would have done because I couldn't do stuff.

Starting point is 00:32:58 And just as a very independent person prior, it was good for my pride to have to say I can't do this. It's good for your humility, you know. It is. So it sounds like one of the biggest things that you learned from this was to appreciate the little things and to be able to look at the big picture but to see the meaningful, the small things that we sometimes overlook actually are in bringing happiness and fulfillment in our lives. Is that a good way to kind of look at it? Exactly. I love walking now. Like, I never used to be like, I'm so glad I can walk today. But now I wake up and like, oh my gosh, I'm going to go walking today. I can walk. And

Starting point is 00:33:42 like, it's so nice to be able to breathe and get oxygen. And it's like all these things that, I mean, there were times when, like lifting up a spoon was too heavy for me. And like the repetitive movement of doing that would burn my muscles like when I was doing ski races, which is ridiculous. But, you know, it's,

Starting point is 00:34:07 there are just so many small things like every day when I have a good day, I try to live it out to the fullest. I, and I don't, it's hard because I still run my company and I still have to work, but I try to make sure like on my good days that I get to go out and do something that fills my cup. Like I get to go out and go gardening or walking or go get, you know, take a drive in the car, like really crazy stuff, you know? Did you know that Forbes Magazine recently cited that 70% of individuals who do personal development, masterminds, and one-on-one coaching, benefited from better work performance,

Starting point is 00:34:44 increased communication skills, and overall better relationships. And we, at PassionStruct, are obsessed with self-development, coaching, and mentorship. That is why we've created a free resource to help you unlock your hidden potential. Because people doing great things in business and life are just like you, only they've had a coach along the way, and we've got that covered too. Let us show you the systems and frameworks that we teach both minded individuals to help them step into their sharp edges,

Starting point is 00:35:18 execute on their passion journeys, and get predictable results time and time again. Go to passionstruck.com slash coaching right now and let's get igniting. I have had the opportunity to talk to a number of astronauts in fact, I podcast episode coming up on a gentleman named Chris Cassidy but almost do an astronaut. One of the things that they say is when they get up there and

Starting point is 00:35:47 they see the earth from that different perspective, it really, for them, puts in place how they fit kind of in the universe and how insignificant we really are in the bigger picture. And I remember him telling me the story where, you know, he's buzzing over New York City on the space station. He's looking down and he's just imagining all these people who are in their cars upset about the traffic and everything else and how really meaningless that is in the bigger picture. So I think that perspective and the one you gained

Starting point is 00:36:26 are very similar ones. Mm-hmm. I don't know if I would say that I'm glad I got sick, but there's a lot of the things that came of it. You know, it isn't all bad. It helped me readjust my priorities and it's made me a lot happier person. And I was already a very happy person prior.

Starting point is 00:36:45 Sometimes I feel a little silly saying things like that because I don't, I know chronic illness is kind of a journey. And if you're at the beginning of it, it's very hard. Like I remember people saying, like I just couldn't find anything good about what was happening to me. But I've had seven years to kind of adjust and accept,

Starting point is 00:37:06 because that's the other thing is accepting that maybe my old life will come back, but it's very unlikely and to just accept that this is the new staff, even though it's not really new anymore, but it still feels new to me, like limits on what I can do. One of the groups of people I try to focus on

Starting point is 00:37:25 with passion struck are people who I say are the underdogs of the world. And it doesn't mean that you're not successful. It doesn't mean that you can't be successful. It means at whatever state they are, they have an internal condition where they're treating themselves as if they're an underdog. And it could be their board with what they are doing.

Starting point is 00:37:46 It could be they've had a trauma. So they've had, they feel battered in their life. It could be, they feel broken because of all the stress that's on them. You know, if there was a tip that you would give, maybe they haven't gone through a hardship that you have because of a physical illness, but they're still going through hardship,

Starting point is 00:38:04 what tips would you give them for kind of clawing your way out of it? I would say that to be kind and gentle to yourself as you're going through it, but to look at the bigger picture, to really look as if this is something in 20 years from now, you're going to remember and is this worth, like you only have so much amount of energy in your life, is it worth giving your energy to that? And I think for a lot of people, the pandemic, I mean, from what I've seen and heard from friends, like it was so life-changing for everyone. And for me, it was like, oh, welcome to my life. So it wasn't life-changing for me at all, but So it wasn't life changing for me at all, but like for a lot of people with the pandemic, it was life changing and it, you know, they took, they took up new hobbies and they started not to take things for granted as much. And especially in the travel industry, there's

Starting point is 00:38:56 a lot of everyone's traveling all the time and there's a lot of fear of missing out in different things. But people having to be grounded for a year. From when I've talked with some of my friends in the industry, it was just like eye opening for them like to have to have stepped out of the rat race and to be like, oh my gosh, like that was terrible or even the destination. There's a lot of talk with the destinations like Hawaii

Starting point is 00:39:22 or Venice and places that we're overrun with tourists and like how can we make it better when we come back because we've seen we didn't even remember what it was like but how can we make this more sustainable going forward. So I would say be kind to yourself along the way but also look at things that the bigger picture and is this worth your energy and the stress. And my big tip is it, for me at least, was meditation was the big change for me and seeing things differently and letting things go. Yeah, well, it's interesting. I have undergone PTSD treatment.

Starting point is 00:40:00 They call it the, there's different types EDM or something called PET. Oh, yeah. I had what was called cognitive process and therapy and It's interesting is you're going through it and they have you do worksheet after worksheet of Looking at your stuck points or or these beliefs that you have about yourself and they try to frame them in the sense of safety trust Exactly, but as you as you continue to do them the last

Starting point is 00:40:22 of safety, trust, etc. But as you continue to do them, the last two are on emotions and intimacy and kind of as you get into those last two, they do a subtle quest in that, in addition to the worksheets they have you do, they start having you do affirmations of kindness, both onto other people, but what kindness are you getting from the universe

Starting point is 00:40:46 back at you? And so I think what you're saying about kindness is important because I think the reason that they're doing it, or I've come to believe, is that you're never going to get over your trauma until you can start loving the person that you are. And I think that all starts with being kind to yourself and by giving kindness to others and serving others, which is kind of the universe kind of gives it back to you in kind. So I think that that's that that's a good point. And I did a podcast that actually released today that's on the law of a correction. And I basically go into the fact that if you are all about negativity and letting

Starting point is 00:41:32 roadblocks and hindrances, and I believe me, I know it could be difficult, especially your diagnosed with something like you have or cancer, or you lose a job or something terrible happens. A lot of times it is not easy to get that negativity out of you, but there's so much scientific proof that negativity gives off one level of vibrational energy that those around you can feel and positivity and those aspects give out

Starting point is 00:42:03 a completely different type of vibrational energy to the universe and they can have tremendous different impacts on success or failure. Yeah, it's because one of the other things like the the disease that I have is well, you probably guessed it's very rare like that's why they weren't able to find it, but it's called cryoglobinemia vasculitis. And it's of all the diseases for a winter loving, snow loving person to get. This is the one where you can't get cold.

Starting point is 00:42:33 Like I was just like, you've got to be kidding. I was in denial this past year. But yeah, when you get, like what happens is the, you have these things in your blood called cryoglobulins if you have this disease and they precipitate or kind of fall out and get sticky when you get too cold, like below the normal body temperature. And so when that happens, it starts clogging up things and so blood doesn't get to your,

Starting point is 00:43:00 that's the thing with the cryovascularitis is it affects, can affect any organ or anywhere in your body because those cryoglobulins kind of clog everything up and cause inflammation. But yeah, when I got the diagnosis, it's interesting because it's so rare that even on the, the Mayo just added to their website that people with cryo should stay warm. But I didn't even, like, my doctors never told me that

Starting point is 00:43:26 when they diagnosed me, like they just said no idea. It wasn't until I found like an expert. And I was like, why isn't this on the Mayo website? Well, I'm also wondering, you like cold climates, but I'm kind of wondering if you would live in a warmer climate, like I do in Florida, would it benefit you at all? I don't we are going to try. I decided I tried this winter because I was diagnosed a little like a year and a half ago and I wanted to try. I thought maybe with this this new treatment I was on, that I would be able to stay in the cold because all I want

Starting point is 00:44:01 to do is like cross-country ski again and I just love being out in the winter. But the reality is like every winter, I may be only ski twice. I have good enough days to do it. And so I think this winter we've decided we're going to try to snow bird down to Arizona. I think it'll help, but what other patients say is even in warm climates. And I think I'm not as sensitive as some of the other patients, like some of the other people that can't drink cold fluids or they, I have problems where like if I touch a cold soda or something, my hands become ice cold and I can't warm up. But like they can't even go in their refrigerators or like, I mean, they're just crazy sensitive but I think

Starting point is 00:44:45 that like going down there we'll check it out see if it helps and we just have to be really careful about I guess with like air conditioning people say like just any of those changes in temperatures can also cause people because what happens is I just start stiffening up, I'm like the tin man. It's like, I'm like, oh gosh, I can barely move like what's going on. And you know, a lot of other things happen from it. So. Well, it'll be interesting to hear if it makes a difference. Yeah, we'll see. I going from the winter to the, and we just got a Siberian husky mix. So I'm feeling really bad about it. Well, so if you could pick up the phone and this is now been seven years since this has happened,

Starting point is 00:45:32 but if you could pick up the phone and talk to yourself when you were in your middle 20s, and give yourself advice on what the next 10 years was going to turn into, what would you tell yourself to do at that point in time? That's different than what you likely did. You know, I don't think I would do anything differently because in my, well, no, there is. Like I worked really, really hard before I started my company.

Starting point is 00:45:57 I worked at my parents agency and I worked really hard for them. Like you'd only worked at hard for your family, you know, and I was putting in 60, 70 hours a week, and I would say to not do that and to live more. But I very much have always been a person that likes to live life. And so I'm glad I traveled a lot when I was younger. You know, I spent some time in Uganda working at a children's orphanage.

Starting point is 00:46:25 Like, I'm glad I did. I moved around the United States a lot. I'm glad I did all of that because a lot of people will wait until they're going to retire. But there's no guarantee your body's going to work or that you're even going to make it that long. And so I'm really glad I did a lot of things in my 20s. So I would say my advice to myself would be like,

Starting point is 00:46:46 do a lot of fun things and do what you want. Because in 10 years, you are going to have a lot more restrictions on your life than what you can do. Well said. So as you are now looking at the future and where you want to go and how you want to live it. What relationships do you think for you have been the most meaningful and helping you get

Starting point is 00:47:11 to where you are now and that you value the most going forward? And I'm not talking with like an individual, but are there certain people or influence in your life that you think have given you the most support. You know, my friends and family have meant a lot to me through this. Prior to getting sick, I was very well connected within the travel industry and we would all see each other

Starting point is 00:47:37 when we're traveling for work. It was very eye-opening for me that when I got sick, like who was there was not my travel industry friends, which is totally okay, because I get it. They're all still in that world, and I'm not. But it was very eye-opening for me that I was like putting a lot of energy into those relationships, but none of them were really there when I got sick. It was all my friends and family that that helped me through it. So.

Starting point is 00:48:06 Okay. And if there was a million dollar skill that an entrepreneur should have to be successful, what would you say that that is? Being adaptable, I think, is because all the other skills you can, you know, you can hire someone to help you through it, but like being adaptable and being able to think on your feet and being able to switch like you're going one way and some you realize and that's not working, I need to do something differently and being flexible enough to try something new. I think that's what makes a successful entrepreneur. Yeah, and I think that's a good point because for much of my career, there's been so much

Starting point is 00:48:42 attention put on EQ, the emotional quotient, emotional intelligence. And I know for myself, I always valued the adaptive quotient, AQ, more, because especially it's more in this all-digital future, digital age, forth industrial revolution, where so much of the world around us is changing. I read a statistic as I was studying forth industrial revolution, then the next 10 to 15 years, it was a crazy figure. Like 700 to 800 million jobs are going to change globally. So if you're not starting to look at how you can adapt and becoming a constant learner and picking up new skills and understanding when to start repositioning yourself or reinventing

Starting point is 00:49:27 yourself. People are going to have huge issues as this idle wave of change starts growing in mass and growing in power as it as these changes start taking effect. And we're starting to see a tiny bit of it now with robotics, et cetera, but as we get into more artificial intelligence, AR, VR, and those things start combining and multiplying, the world is gonna be a much different place, a decade from now than it is today. And so I talked to a lot of my clients, especially the younger ones about, I know I made the mistake that I talked to a lot of my clients, especially the younger ones about I know I made the mistake

Starting point is 00:50:07 that I tended to live My life as if I was on a stool that had one big support in it and when that support is going well It's great because all things are going well in your life probably like you saw in your career But I now try to coach people and look at their life as a stool that has four legs and that you need to start diversifying different aspects of your life

Starting point is 00:50:32 and having different revenue streams because you never know when that main stool could collapse right underneath you. And I think that's what has happened to so many people. And then when you're stuck trying to reinvent yourself, it becomes that much more difficult as opposed to kind of broadening yourself out. And I think you brought up another very good thing

Starting point is 00:50:57 earlier on in that I made the mistake you did. You were doing it for your family. I was doing it for these employers where I was working 60 hour weeks would have been the bare minimum. There were times at Lowe's and Dell, etc. where I was working 100 hour weeks. And as I look back, one of the biggest things I tell myself and tell my son is make sure as you're living your life that you're not working to make other people's dreams come true, instead of making your own. And sometimes we spend so much time working that we don't spend enough time as you rightly pointed out, taking breaks from it and gaining different perspectives,

Starting point is 00:51:38 that allow you to approach it in a more strategic or different pattern because I find we get in these loops where we're spending our time on all this munusha and I call it you know you end up getting played by the pinball machine instead of playing the pinball machine and winning and too many people end up doing that and I think one of those important lessons I've heard you say is you learned to play the game of pinball instead of letting it play you through this experience, which is an important one for all the listeners to hear. And I actually love pinball, John, so yes, that's perfect. I do too. And I think the creators of the game, to me it's one of the things that I

Starting point is 00:52:19 found the closest to life because the way they created, they build all these things in to give you noise light, disruptions, and the key to it is trying to parse all of that out and really focusing on how do you want to do it. Yeah, I grew up with a pinball machine. We had the Twilight Zone in our basement, so I played it all the time, And then we got the Adam's family, my family, my parents did. And I've spent many an hours on the pinball games. Well, you know everything from the way that you launched the ball to the path that you deliberately take. I mean, everything has a purpose. And you're trying to unlock certain things so that you can get to the hinge of the game that aren't exposed to you

Starting point is 00:53:07 until you really start understanding its mechanics. It's a lot deeper than like when you just go in and like play and try to hit it around and not have it go down. But it's even fun too, like with my parents' games, because there's a pinball place, a couple blocks from us too, but it's not fun to play there.

Starting point is 00:53:24 It's number one you have to pay for it. Okay. But number two, it's like at my parents house, it's fun because my dad works on the machines and like, you know, when you lift it up underneath and see the intricacies, like it's just mind-boggling. What goes on in there? Yeah, I look back sometimes and I wonder, you know, maybe my dream job would have been a pinball machine greater or designer Because that would have been fun Because I've launched some videos on it and just how you know, they go about it trying to build out the schemes and how Everything is going to work is quite fascinating and a lot of the techniques they use aren't much different from when the game was invented Yeah, that's what's neat is it's so complicated.

Starting point is 00:54:06 And you think that, you know, these are like 40 year old machines or whatever that twilight zone, well, I guess maybe like 30 years or 20 years, but like I'm like, this is really intrepid like what they were able to do back then. So yeah, it's not first heard this whole concept, probably 15 years ago. And it was from a pastor at a church we were going to, and he was describing his associate pastor, and he said, I love her. Man, she lives a pinball life.

Starting point is 00:54:32 She bounces off of everything, and lets everything control her, instead of her controlling what she's doing. He goes, it drives me absolutely bonkers. That's nice. Pinball life, I like that. I mean, you see a ton of people living that way, and I'm sure their times in my life

Starting point is 00:54:51 more I've seen myself live that way, but the important thing is to realize it and then do something about it. Well, I wanted to give you an opportunity if the listeners or watchers wanted to learn more about you or get a hold of you, what are some good ways for them to do so? Well, you can always send an email.

Starting point is 00:55:11 It's Stephanie, STEPH, A-N-I-E, at hostagencyreviews.com, my website. Otherwise, I'm on a lot of social channels. As I am Stephanie, I am, and then STEPH, LY, pretty much all the main channels on there. So any of those, I'm always happy to chat with people or connect. I, it's one of my favorite things in life is hearing other people's stories, and I just find people very fascinating. Okay. And I'd like to end with a quick rapid round of questions. It's one of the listeners' favorite parts. So I'm going to, I'm going to start with a softball and then we'll go from there.

Starting point is 00:55:52 All right, let's see, I'm not very good at rapid, but let's go. Well, you, you talked about all the places that that you traveled. If there's one place you haven't been that you could go to, where would it be? If there's one place you haven't been that you could go to where would it be? So I really want to go see some more polar bears and I was reading something on the Arctic. I want to go see polar bears and the narwhals up in there's an island up in the Arctic. I can't remember the name of it, but that's my dream now. Okay, and if there was a person you could meet who you haven't met before, are they living or deceased, who would it be? The Dalai Lama.

Starting point is 00:56:28 And why? Well, I saw him, he's just really inspirational to me. I saw him speak once and he was in this huge auditorium. Like we're really far from him, but his presence was so strong, I felt it. And he was like, you think someone that was like a Buddhist monk would be so serious and he just laughed and smiled

Starting point is 00:56:48 and he had such a great time. Like, I don't know, I've never met anyone else that had such a strong presence. And I would just like to meet with them and chat with them and hug him. Okay, is there an experience you've had in your life that has shifted it in a positive way? Yes, when I was 17, my boyfriend in high school ended up passing away from in a car accident and motorcycle accident.

Starting point is 00:57:16 And that was really traumatic for me, but that was the first time, like grieving it was very hard, but coming out of it and seeing that even with bad things, there can be good things that come out, like good things that can come out of bad situations. Okay. And you and I have spent a lot of time on the other side of dealing with medical professionals. If there was a medical professional who's listening to this, what word of advice would you give them about how they treat their patients? I would say to remember that you're not different from your patients, like the patient that you're

Starting point is 00:57:49 seeing like to have compassion because if it's someone that's really sick, what you're seeing isn't who they really are like underneath. Yeah, I would say to be compassionate and treat them like you would treat a friend or a family. Okay, and the last question, being a cross-country skier, if there was one place that you could cross-country ski, where would it be? Well, it's not very far. I actually really want to do the Birke, which is the biggest ski race in the United States. It's in Wisconsin, and I was never, I was going to be doing it in training for it the year I got sick. And so I'd really like to be able to do that race. Okay, great. Well, Steph, thank you so much for coming on to the show

Starting point is 00:58:34 and sharing so much about your life and being vulnerable about sharing and giving the lessons that you have for listeners. I truly appreciate it. Thank you so much for having me, John. It's been a blast. I hope you enjoyed that interview with Stephanie as much as I did and learned so many lessons from it. And over the next couple of weeks, I've got some amazing interviews that you are going to love, including one with World Explorer, Victoria Humphries,

Starting point is 00:59:02 who is now on a mission as she's turning 50 to take on 50 items in her bucket list and get them done in the next two to three years. So I've been inspiring episode and along with that we also ironically had on Travbell from Australia who is known worldwide as the bucketless guy who is going to talk about not only, how do you create a bucket list, but how do you live that bucket list? And then I am starting a series

Starting point is 00:59:32 that was inspired by my long-term friend, James Gubinsky, and he asked me to do it on EGO and E-Milety. So you'll have a number of episodes coming up on that as well. And as always, thank you so much for tuning in the Passion Start Podcast. If you've worked today's episode, it would mean so much to the show. If you give it a five-star rating, review the show if you haven't done it already. And please share it with some of your growth-minded friends

Starting point is 01:00:01 who could use this dose of inspiration and positivity in their life. Remember, make a choice, work hard, step into your car badges and become PassionStrike. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make Passion Go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the Passion Start podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to your podcast ad. And if you absolutely love this episode, we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes. And you're sharing it with

Starting point is 01:00:39 three of your most growth-minded friends, so they can post it as well to their social accounts and help us grow our passion start community. If you'd like to learn more about the show and our mission, you can go to passionstruck.com where you can sign up for our newsletter, look at our tools, and also download the show notes for today's episode. Additionally, you can listen to us every Tuesday and Friday for even more inspiring content. And remember, make a choice, work hard, and step into your

Starting point is 01:01:11 sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us. you

Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Steph Lee On Meditation Benefits for People with Chronic Illness EP 40

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