Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Stop Hiding the True You EP 88

Episode Date: December 10, 2021

John R. Miles discusses why it is so vital that you stop hiding the true you. It's an episode that is core to why he started the Passion Struck movement. In the podcast, John will explain why he believes so many today hide behind a mask we wear that hides who we are and the superpower we are meant to bring to the world. Instead of living an intentional life, we live a life in a shroud of pretense.  New to this channel and the passion-struck podcast? Check out our starter packs which are our favorite episodes grouped by topic, to allow you to get a sense of all the podcast has to offer. Go to https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. Have you heard of ISSUU? Issuu is the all-in-one platform to create and distribute beautiful digital content, from marketing materials to magazines, to flipbooks and brochures, and more. Get started with Issuu today for FREE, or if you sign up for a premium account, you will get 50% off when you go to ISSUU.com/podcast and use promo code PASSIONSTRUCK. Like this? Please subscribe, and join me on my new platform for peak performance, life coaching, and personal growth: https://passionstruck.com/. Thank you for Watching the Passion Struck podcast. New Interviews with the World's GREATEST high achievers will be posted every Tuesday with a Momentum Friday inspirational message! Learn more about John: https://johnrmiles.com. SHOW NOTES Introduction Pretending to be someone you are not Why do we subconsciously sabotage ourselves Is hiding behind pretense always conscious Ways to break free from the matrix Be true to yourself Have the courage to change Stop trying to fit in Stand up for what you actually believe in Stay on the right track The key takeaway ===== FOLLOW JOHN R. MILES ON THE SOCIALS ===== * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnrmiles.c0m * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/JohnMiles * Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast   ====== ABOUT JOHN ====== John R. Miles leads a global movement called Passion Struck. He is passionate about being the catalyst who helps individuals expand into the most excellent version of themselves, unlocking the most no regrets life possible. He is a combat veteran, multi-industry CEO, successful entrepreneur, top podcast host, and author who is helping people worldwide regain their passion. John is one of the most-watched, quoted, and followed high-performance trainers globally, and his leadership acumen spans more than two decades. He's founded or co-founded more than half a dozen successful start-ups, was a Fortune 50 CIO and CISO, mentors rising entrepreneurs, and invests in successful tech ventures. He graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy, where he learned vital leadership skills and was a multi-sport Division 1 athlete.

Welcome back to the PassionStrike podcast and thank you each and every one of you who come back every week to listen and learn how to live better, be better, and impact the world. And if you're new to this show or you would like to introduce it to someone you know, a great way to do that is through something we have called starter pass. These are collections of your favorite episodes starter packs. These are collections of your favorite episodes organized by Topic that will give any new listener a great way to get acquainted to everything that we do here on the show. Just go to passionstruck.com slash starter packs to get started. And if you haven't been there before, you can also visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel at JohnRMiles. And there

you will find over 200 different videos, some of these long form interviews, while others are short two to five minute mindset moments. Please go check it out if you want a weekly dose of inspiration. And over the weekend we pass an extremely important milestone. For those of you who may be new to this podcast, we started it in February of 2021. And we are now on episode 88. But over the weekend, we passed over 200,000 downloads of this podcast. And I truly want to express my appreciation to each and every one of you

for helping us on our mission to spread how to live an intentional life, which was the purpose behind this whole passion-struct movement that I started a year ago. Thank you for helping us reach so many people, in 60 countries and over 40,000 downloads per month. And now I'm going to highlight the fan of the week who is Quincy from the United States. And Quincy writes, Keep up the amazing work.

I love listening to you all every day and keep up the good work. Thank you Quincy for your review and thank you for helping us achieve over 2,700 five star reviews in the US Apple store alone. Today's episode I'm going to talk to you about why you need to stop hiding the true you. It's an episode that is at the core for why I started the Passion Struck Movement. I believe too many today are hiding behind a mask we wear that hides who we really are

and the superpower we are meant to bring to the world. Thank you for choosing the Passion Struck Podcast and choosing me as your host and guide on your journey to living an intentional life. Now let the journey begin. Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders and growth seekers of all types to the Passion Struck podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach, multi industry CEO, Navy veteran, and entrepreneur on a mission to make Passion Go viral for millions worldwide. So by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing eye achievers from all walks of life who unlock their secrets and lessons to become an action-struck. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener by giving you tips, tasks and activities you can use to achieve peak performance and for two, a action-driven life you have always wanted to have. Now, let society tells us we should be. But here's a secret. Fitting into society is not equivalent to ultimate happiness and fulfillment.

It will only lead to you trying to hide who you really are, causing you to feel unhappy and unsatisfied. Here's the truth. The only way to feel genuinely fulfilled and happy is to stop hiding who you are, stop pretending and start showing the world the real you. The society we live in is very good at telling us what we should be like. For example, certain professions are more prestigious than others.

Therefore, we should pursue them. There is also a certain way we should look at in a specific way we should lead our lives. Work out regularly, eat healthy food, earn as much money as possible, et cetera. All these rules you should follow and all these criteria you should take on in your personality often result in you being someone you are not. It's like putting on a mask every day and

spending a lot of energy trying to conform to someone else's image of who you should be. Research shows us that we're meant to live our lives as part of a group. This is common among mammals and we are after all mammals. In fact, studies have shown that our well-being increases when we feel that we are part of a group, both mentally and physically. Knowing this, it's not hard to understand why we struggle so hard to belong somewhere. When this profound, fundamental need meets today's societal, narcissistic norms, there is a bit of a collision between the two.

Let me explain. In today's public eye, there are certain opinions you are expected to have. You're also likely to say and thank specific things that are considered politically correct. In order to fit in, you need to jump on the mainstream train and say and do the accepted things. If you don't, you might get canceled or ostracized.

We'll be right back to the PassionStruck podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by Issue. I know from me, first impressions are everything. So if you're looking to impact your online content, you need issue, the all-in-one platform to create and distribute beautiful digital content. From marketing materials, to magazines, to flipbooks, or brochures, issue features your creative in an easy-to-view way on any device. What I truly love about it is I just make content one time and can distribute it everywhere. It is as simple as that and your content is already

optimized for engagement and ready to share. Issue also works seamlessly with tools you already use like in-design, Canva, and Dropbox. Get started today with issue for free. Or if you sign up for a premium account, you will get 50% off when you go to issue.com slash podcast and use promo code passion struck. That's i s s u u dot com slash podcast and use promo code passion struck. At checkout for your free account or 50% off your premium account, that's issue.com slash podcast with promo code passion struck. Thank you so much for listening and supporting the show. Your support of our advertisers keeps the lights on around here, and I know all those codes and URLs can be tough to remember, so we will make sure we put them

in the show notes. Please consider supporting those who support this show and make it possible. Now, back to passion struck. Also, the climate of society today is cold and rough. Nothing is accepted except for a very narrow path of opinions. Opinions that a small group of people have decided are okay. This is why we do this to ourselves. This is why we pretend to think and be things because we don't want to be excluded from the social scene of our context. Of course, if you need to hide behind pretense in order to continue being a part of your

social context, you are in the wrong place and should get out of there. To hide behind pretense is not something we wake up in the morning and tell ourselves we're going to do. Yet sometimes we do it without even knowing it, probably because we've been taught to do it or told we should think and who we should be. Because of this, we might live all our life

without even knowing that we're pretending to be someone we are be. Because of this, we might live all our life without even knowing that we're pretending to be someone we are not. Being told who we should be results and not really knowing who we are to begin with, Jim Kerry talked about this in an interview a few years back. He essentially said that he does not exist and is just an idea. Of course, Jim Kerry is an actor

and his thoughts stem from the fact that he can actually put himself away for a few months to be someone else literally. If you can put yourself aside, then who are you really? So reflecting around your identity can be exciting, and the phrase, you can be whoever you want is essentially true because you can be whoever you want.

You really need to think about what you anchor your identity to. What defines you? Is it your beliefs? Is it your financial position? Is it the people who love you that define you? Of course, Jim Carrey thought this reflection was highly liberating. The fact he does not really exist means that he doesn't have to be bound to specific ideas or opinions.

He's not stuck with negative emotions and anxiety anymore. He used to suffer from depression and anxiety, but now says the rain comes, it rains, but it doesn't stay. It doesn't last long enough to immerse me and drown me anymore. Either this insight gives you some relief as it did for Jim Carey, or maybe it causes you to panic.

It's really about knowing what is real and genuine. There will be things in your life that are lies and deceptions. These things might seem real and valuable, and you might think these things are important to you. You need to develop the skill to locate these elements that do not align with your core values. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes it's obvious. Let me give you a couple examples. A typical lie is that your body should be shaped in a specific way.

That is an absolute lie because everybody looks different and diversity is beautiful. Another lie we often tell ourselves is that your job should be your top priority. The truth is it should never be the most critical thing in your life. While your career is where you spend a significant portion of your time, is that what really defines you? Instead, isn't it your health, is that what really defines you? Instead, isn't it your health, family, friends, purpose, and passion that define you? Of course, you can find your way out of the matrix, just as Neo did.

Actually, if you follow the points I'm going to give you, you will never even get lost in the matrix in the first place. The key is to stop pretending that you were someone you were not. Stop letting society shape you and start shaping the world instead. After all, that's what brings fulfillment. So first, start with yourself. Let's say that you have a prestigious job that pays a lot. You work hard to get there and maybe even your in debt because of it. That's true for almost anyone. You will find yourself trying to explain why you should power through, probably thinking, I've worked so hard to get there or it pays so good. But in the end,

who cares about how much money you make if you're not happy? All the money in the world, we all know can't buy true happiness. So stop lying to yourself and get out of the job to pursue something that actually brings you joy in a feeling of fulfillment. Second, have the courage to change. It's not because it's hard that you don't dare to do it. It's because you don't have the courage to do it that it seems hard. As Buddha said, your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it. So don't check it out. Do it. Leave the job or relationship that makes you unhappy and change your life for the better. Find the courage. It is somewhere inside of you. Be courageous. Take control of your own life. Third, stop trying to fit in. There's no point in trying to fit in with a crowd that doesn't mean anything to you. Chances are the only reason you try to do so is that society is

telling you that you should. It's crucial to have good connections, right? We all want them. It's also important that other people like you. Sure, if you're showing them your true self, but if you pretend to be someone else, then who are you trying to fool? Probably yourself in the end. It is far more worthwhile being who you actually are in enjoying life like that than trying to fin in with people who wouldn't care about you if they knew the real you. Fourth, stand up for what you actually believe in. This can be hard, especially if you

have controversial opinions. It's so easy to just nod along, agree with people, and go along with the flow all the time. Sure, it's easy, but it doesn't mean it's right. You shouldn't adjust your opinions to fit in or gain false friends or admirers. You should stand up for what you actually believe in, even if you know that your views will upset some people and provoke others. So stop being a pushover.

Fifth, stay on the right track. It's essential to check in with yourself every now and then. Take a break from everything, separate from the crowd, and have some alone time. from everything, separate from the crowd and have some alone time. Knowing yourself also means spending a lot of time with yourself, especially if you've gone through an identity crisis, where you've temporarily lost track of who you are. The key to getting to know anyone is to spend a lot of time with them, and that is even so much more true for yourself as well. This might come as a surprise to you because you are with yourself all the time, right? No, not really. You pay very little attention to yourself when you're constantly in a crowd. You pay a lot of attention to other people. If you spend all your time in groups, you spend none of your

time with yourself. So I've talked a lot here, but what are some of the key takeaways from today's episode? It is not easy to know who you actually are, especially in a world that constantly confuses you and forces beliefs on you. What society tells you is not always the truth. And just because most people jump on the mainstream train doesn't mean it leads to the land of milk and honey. The chances are that the destination for that mainstream train is a place far removed from your own heart. On the train, you might have to hide behind your cloak

to make sure you're not thrown off in the middle of anywhere. Learn how to see what is real and true in your life and learn to identify the lies that are around you. Jim Carey might have a point when he speaks about putting yourself aside to pretend to be someone else for a few months. If we can do that, then who are we? And if we put ourselves away for several years, what happens to us? In the end, you need to be true to yourself and stop hiding behind a wall of pretence because society tells you what you should think and who you should be. Stop letting other opinions way more than your well-being. You are your own worst enemy and best ally. It's up to you to decide which path

you will take. Only you can be 100% you, and the people around you want to know the real you, not someone you pretend to be. I hope today's message has brought youth fulfillment and given you guidance on how you too can drop pretense and start living the intentional life that we all want to live. And if you'd like to hear another episode that speaks to today's topic, I recently did one on life's transition points. And I have found in my own life that it's not the defining moments that define who we are. It's life's transition points.

And that episode will give you a great explanation of what transition points are and how you can apply that philosophy to your life. Thank you again for choosing the Passion Start podcast and I can't wait to see you next week. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make Passion Go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need

to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the Passion Start podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to your podcast ad. And if you absolutely love this episode, we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes, and you're sharing it with three of your most group-minded friends, so they can post it as well to their social accounts and help us grow our passion start community. If you'd like to learn more about the show and our mission, you can go to passionstruck.com where you can sign up for our newsletter, look at our tools, and also download the show notes for today's episode. Additionally, you can listen to us every Tuesday and Friday for even more inspiring content. And remember, make a choice, work hard, and step into your sharp edges.

Thank you again for joining us. you