Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Strengthening Your Relationship With Your Best Self - John R. Miles EP 110

Episode Date: February 25, 2022

Over the years, I have come to a much deeper connection with myself. It is the most important relationship I can have—the one true constant in my life. I have learned that everything that happens in my life for good or bad is based on my reflection with myself and becoming my greatest self. In this episode, I tell a parable to illustrate why your relationship with yourself is the foundation for everything. I then use this example to discuss how to discover your best self, grow into the best version of yourself, and strengthen your relationship with your best self. All that we do in life is a testimony to our inner self and our relationship with ourselves. The people you impact or don't, the job you love or don't, those in your life you love or don't, the acts of service you do or don't, are all created by the relationship we have with ourselves. The tools from today's episode ought to be helpful for anyone looking to become their best self. Our Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/passionstruck Thank you to our sponsors: ATHLETIC GREENS. Get a one-year supply of vitamin D and five travel packs https://athleticgreens.com/passionstruck BETTER HELP: Get 10% off your first month https://betterhelp.com/passionstruck. TEN THOUSAND: Get 15% off your order at https://tenthousand.cc and enter code passionstruck. Socials: * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnrmiles.c0m * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles ​* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/milesjohn/ * Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast/ * Gear: https://www.zazzle.com/store/passion_struck/ Timestamps: 0:00 Introducing the Best Self Concept and Introduction 2:55 Ten Thousand and Athletic Greens 5:57 Fable of the eagle and the chicken 10:05 BetterHelp 11:49 Where am I now on the journey of becoming my greatest self? 12:48 How did I get to be where I am today? 13:33 Where do I want to be in the future? 14:29 How am I going to get there? 16:05 What additional resources will I require to be my best self? 17:21 How do you become the best version of yourself 21:51 How to live your best life 22:58 Conclusion and Synthesis -- John R Miles is a serial entrepreneur and the CEO and founder of Passion Struck. This full-service media company helps people live intentionally by creating best-in-class educational and entertainment content. John is also a prolific public speaker, venture capitalist, and author named to the ComputerWorld Top 100 IT Leaders. John is the host of the Passion Struck Podcast, a show focused on exploring the mindset and philosophy of the world's highest achievers to learn their lessons to living intentionally. Passion Struck aspires to speak to the humanity of people in a way that makes them want to live better, be better and impact. Stay tuned for John's latest project, his upcoming book, which will be published in summer 2022. Learn more about me: https://johnrmiles.com. New to this channel and the passion-struck podcast? Check out our starter packs which are our favorite episodes grouped by topic, to allow you to get a sense of all the podcast has to offer. Go to Spotify or https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. Like this? Please join me on my new platform for peak performance, life coaching, self-improvement, intentional living, and personal growth: https://passionstruck.com/ and sign up for our email list.  

Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders and growth seekers of all types to the Passion Struck podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach, multi industry CEO, maybe veteran and entrepreneur on a mission to make Passion Go viral for millions worldwide. do so by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing eye achievers from all walks of life who unlock their secrets and lessons to becoming passion struck. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener by giving you tips, tasks and activities you can use to achieve peak performance and for two passion-driven life you have always wanted to have. Now, let's become PassionStrike. Welcome to Episode 110 of the PassionStrike podcast, and thank you to each and every one of you

who comes back weekly to listen and learn, at a live better, be better, and impact the world. And if you're new to the show, or you would just like to introduce it to a friend or family member, we now have episode starter packs on our website and Spotify. These are collections of your favorite episodes, organized my topic that give any new listener

a great way to get acquainted with our show. Just go to passionstruck.com, slash starter packs to get started. And if you haven't checked our YouTube channel out and subscribe to it, please do so at John Aramiles where we have well over 230 different videos ranging from long-form format to short two to five minute mindset moments. Please check it out and subscribe. All that we do in life is a testimony of our inner self and

our relationship with ourselves. The people you impact or don't, the job you love or don't, those in your life you cherish or don't. The acts of service you do or don't are all created by the relationship that we have with ourselves. Over the years, I've come to a much deeper understanding of the relationship that I have with myself. It is the most important relationship that I can have, the one true constant in my life. I have learned that everything that happens in my life, whether it's good or bad, is based on the reflection that I have of myself. In this episode, I will start with a short parable

to illustrate how the relationship with yourself determines everything. I will explain why your life is experienced through you and not outside of you. I described five ways that you can discover your greatest self that will help you on your own self-discovery journey. I also discuss nine steps you can take right now to become the greatest version of yourself.

The tools from today's episode ought to be helpful for anyone looking to improve who they are and their relationship with themselves. Thank you for choosing passion struck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Before we begin, I would like to emphasize that this podcast is part of my effort and desire to bring zero cost information to the general public regarding how to unlock an intentional life. And keeping with that theme, I would like to thank the sponsors of today's episode.

Thank you 10,000 for sponsoring the podcast. Physical health is absolutely essential to me and forms the very foundation for achieving elite performance, which is why I work out daily. And if you're like me, it's hard to find training products that are built strong enough to stand up to my gym days, spin classes, cross fit, and long hikes. That is why I absolutely love 10,000 apparel and it's dedication to continuous improvement. Their name references Malcolm Gladwell's prescription

for perfection and 10,000 is true to that philosophy and how they are making the highest quality best spinning and most comfortable training gear I have ever worn. I especially love their versatile lightweight breathable shirts and interval shorts, which feature an optional liner. They actually have a team of over 200 athletes testing their gear to ensure its dedication to creating a perfect fit trims, fabric, and design. 10,000 is offering passion struck listeners 15% off your purchase. Go to 10,000.cc and enter code passion struck to get 15% off your purchase. That is T-E-N-T-H-O-U-S-A-N-D.cc and enter code passion struct. Our next partner is a product I literally use every day. I started taking athletic creams about six months ago because I wanted to achieve optimal performance and better gut health. And I can tell you that it does that in so much more.

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Again, that is athleticans.com slash PassionStruck. Again, that is AthleticReans.com slash PassionStruck to take ownership of your help and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. Please consider those who support this show and make it possible to offer free to our listeners. And I know all these codes can be difficult to remember. So we put them in one convenient spot that you can go to at passionstruck.com slash deals. Now back to passion struct. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪

British author, Susanna Conway, said, your relationship with yourself is the foundation for everything. Long ago, there was a farmhouse in the countryside. Next to the farmhouse was a giant tree where an eagle nested in later eggs. One evening, a heavy wind blew one of the eggs onto a pile of hay beneath the tree, but the mother eagle did not notice. On a faithful afternoon, the farmhouse owner went together at the Hague and found the Eagles' Hague. Without giving much thought, he picked it up and put it into the nest of his head who had just laid her own eggs. Soon, the

Eagle hatched with the chicks and grew up with them. And although the Eglot appeared more prominent than the baby chicks, and its plumage would stiffer, the mother hen still raised it nevertheless. The eagle did every activity that the chickens did. It snuggled under the wings of a mother hen for protection, poked around in the dirt looking for worms and insects to eat, occasionally flew a few feet up in the air and clucked around. Biologically, it was an eagle, but mentally a chicken, which controlled how it lived.

As time passed, the eagle grew older, and then one day it saw something flying up above it in the sky. This thing glided gracefully, and majestically through the clouds, and was just a fantastic sight to behold. What's that, the eagle asked? Oh, that's an eagle, responded one of the chickens. The eagle is the ruler of all the birds, the vanquisher of the skies, but we remain on the ground because we are merely chickens. Don't worry about that eagle because you will never be like that. She added. Upon hearing this, the eagle simply returned to pecking with the chickens, but still was curious about what it had witnessed. Then one day, the eagle was drinking water from a puddle.

When it paused and took a long look at itself, the eagle realized that it had similar physical features to the majestic creature that it had seen flying. Then the eagle looked around at this environment in which it lived, and for the first time, it dawned on the eagle that the chickens were different, and this was not where it belonged. Upon this realization, the eagle decided to leave the chickens to join its own convocation. It flapped its own wings by way of experiment, but the poor bird only rose as high as the chickens would. This continued for weeks without success until finally the eagle decided to get help from the farmer. One day the eagle approached the farmer and repeatedly flapped its wings until the farmer got the message. Now you're ready to fly the farmer said the farmer took the eagle away to a mountain

side where some eagles flew majestically in the skies. Steady like a parachute driving like jets, soaring higher than the other birds. He threw the eagle from that mountain side with the expectation that its natural instincts would kick in. At first, the eagle simply landed back down on its belly, but then it tried harder and harder

until it could fly away from the farmer's hand and land on a tree, a short distance away from the farmer. It flapped its wings some more and was gradually airborne. It did this repeatedly and was now conquering the sky. Soon to join the other eagles in the sky and flew away. In like manner to this story about the eagle, there are so many people in the world today who are living less than they could be. They nearly exist in the surroundings they were brought up in. In golfton circumstances, they find themselves in an unaware of who they indeed are. As the eagle realized, and intentionally made efforts to become its most fabulous self,

so can you. As Arthur Schopenhauer said, every person takes the limits of their own field of vision for the limits of the world. What can we learn from that quote and this incredible parable? We will be right back to the Passion Struck Podcast. This podcast is sponsored by Better Health Online Therapy, and we often discuss mental health on the Passion Struck Podcast, and dealing with the stigma of seeking it, is there something interfering with your happiness and preventing you from achieving your goals. For me, depression and anxiety significantly impacted my life until I took charge, got over my embarrassment and sought out help.

And luckily, there's a platform now that makes it so much easier to take that step and get therapy. Better help will assess your needs and match you with your own license professional therapist. I highly recommend that everyone turn to better help to get started and find a therapist who helps you look at things in a different way like they did for me. Their service is customized, accessible, and affordable, and you can be matched with the therapist in just 48 hours. And to that end, better help wants you to start living a happier life and is offering passion struck listeners 10%

off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com slash passion struck. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash passion struck and join over two million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Thank you so much for listening and supporting the show. And I realize all those codes and URLs can be difficult to remember, so we'll put them in the show notes for the episode. Please consider supporting those who support this show, make it possible and free for our listeners. Now, back to passion struck.

Before you can discover and strengthen your relationship with your greatest self, you first need to ask yourself the following questions. Where am I now? Before the eagle discovered its authentic self, it first became aware of the reality of where it was in life. This awareness that it was living as a chicken allowed the eagle to self reflect and conclude that its current reality was not its desired destiny. It naturally stirred a desire for the eagle to aim to be its greatest self. People often ask me the first step in changing the course of their life,

and I tell them it starts with making the choice to examine the actual reality of the life that they are living. Everything begins with a choice. That is the hardest decision we make, the decision to change. An examining your life will not be easy, but this is the inherent starting point to making any meaningful change. How did I get to where I am today? After understanding where it was, Eagle reflected on how its foundation living as a chicken shaped who it would become. This awareness enabled the Eagle to grasp the understanding that its environment living as a chicken shaped who it had become. I often believe that we can't change the circumstances of our birth.

The zip code we grew up in and what side of the poverty line we were raised. That said, we can all change our future and the culture we allow to surround us. Your past is just that. We all have the inner power to change our future and the culture we allow to surround us. Your past is just that. We all have the inner power to change our future by intentionally taking steps to do so and being our greatest selves. Where do I want to be in the future? The definition of being our greatest self means different things to different people. Some pursue starting their own company, some hope to shake up an entire industry. And others want to become actors, writers, doctors, lawyers, or authors. Before creating your ideal future, you have to envision what that looks like. Clarity demands specificity. You can't develop a path for the future if you don't know your final destination. And be sure you're chasing your dream,

not someone else's image about your destiny. Similar to the eagle's realization of its hidden potential, we too can be the most excellent version of ourselves. Once the eagle realized its destiny, the path to achieving that goal became clear. It longed to be amongst its own family. Soaring high in the skies. How am I going to get there? After deciding to become its best self, the eagle found out what it would take to reach the point where it could take its natural spot. Soaring with the eagles. By doing this, the eagle realized the possibilities of its endeavors and steps necessary to make it a reality. If you desire an outcome that you've never experienced, you have to place yourself in purposeful discomfort to accomplish what you have never done.

I can't emphasize it enough. One of the biggest traps I see people getting into is thinking that the path from A to B is going to be linear and quick. All change is difficult at first, chaotic in the middle and glorious at the end. The path of being the best version of ourselves is similar to riding a bike. At first, it will be awkward as you learn the skills required to pedal without training wheels. And once the training wheels are removed, you're sure to fail, but you will continue to try until you find the equilibrium and conquer your fears. The same is true with the path to creating any new behavior, mindset, or habit. It takes constant dedication to the task at hand with the resolve to stop breaking the commitments you make to yourself. As Mark Twain said 20 years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do the trade winds in your sails.

What additional skills or resources will I require to achieve my goals? When the Eagle realized that it would need help learning how to fly and soar, it sought it out from the farmer. Thinking about planning to become your best self is not enough. One must possess the ability to take action. Understand the things you need to reach the goal, find them, and put them into practical use. The path less traveled is cultivated by constant learning.

If you want to change your life, you will have to change your thinking. This starts with you educating yourself about the skills that you will need to obtain to become your greatest self. I highly encourage you to become a voracious reader of anything that you can get your hands on aligned with your long-term aspiration. The path to becoming your best self also involves enlisting the support of coaches, mentors, and peers who can offer encouragement, propose recommendations, and serve as a sounding board on your journey to success.

It's beneficial to solicit assistance from mentors who live the life you aspire to achieve and learn their lessons of reaching it. So how do you grow to become the best version of yourself? The following are some practical ways to improve and strengthen your relationship with yourself to bring out the very best version of you. Love and value yourself. It usually starts with accepting yourself just as you are and not wishing you were someone else. This starts with you realizing that you are the most incredible person that you will ever know. Now that doesn't mean just settling for anything. You can make conscious efforts to look better, dress better, and the like, but ultimately you will always desire to be more than what you are until you sincerely love yourself just as you are. Loving and accepting takes a lot of work.

It's a process that takes a great deal of self-reflection. But this work is essential if you want to thrive in other areas of your life and become your greatest self. Remember that self-love is vital in appreciating a happy, helpful, and respectful relationship with yourself. When you are secure, confident, and feeling great about yourself, that positive energy will start to permeate

everything that you do and the people that you touch and interact with. Know your inner you. To know your inner self is to understand who you really are. That starts with you identifying your purpose, values, goals, motivation, vision, and beliefs. It has everything to do with what you've discovered about yourself, not what society has told you to conform to be. The path to understanding your greatest self requires a high level of reflection and self-awareness. If you have clearness of at least half of what I discussed above,

you probably have an earnest amount of self-awareness. At the same time, the process of being your best self never ends. It's a lifelong journey. Invest in your mind, intentionally spend time doing things that will help you become a better version of yourself. Build up your mind by reading books, listening to podcasts, watching educational videos, and so on. By doing so, you will be equipping yourself to be able to tackle challenges and also maximize opportunities when they come. Pay attention to your needs. Sleep, rest, exercise, personal time, and quality food. These, among many others, are vital things you need in your life to be your best self. You simply cannot effectively function at your total capacity unless you deliberately give your mind and body the very things that they require.

Ensure you do not deprive yourself of them. Engage in your most fulfilling activities, whether it's baking, swimming, writing, painting, singing, and so on, spend quality time doing the very things that you enjoy the most. These activities will help you connect with your core, show you your potential, and ultimately help you become the best version of yourself. Meditate and look inwards. By being aware of your internal thought processes, you will connect and remain aligned with your true self. Spend time understanding who you are and why you act the way that you do. This will be the core of your nature and will go a long way in helping you to become your best self.

Forgive yourself for your failings. As humans, we are bound to make mistakes, but we are also enabled and empowered to move on from those mistakes and keep making progress in life. Make sure you forgive yourself after making those mistakes. Pick the lessons from them and move on. Do something special for yourself. You deserve all the best

care and treatment in the world. From time to time, you need to do something special for yourself, whether it's a gift, a long nature walk, a note to self, new clothing, self-care, a trip, or what have you. This will increase your appreciation for yourself and spur you to keep doing better. Seek others who align with your goals. The truth is you can't grow into the best version of yourself in isolation. You need friends and companions who are also working to become better versions of themselves.

By joining a group of like-minded, gross-seeking people, you will be better equipped and encouraged to keep pushing yourself to become your very best. So what can you take away from this entire episode? Most people live in mediocrity, instead of doing the work to create the life that they have always wanted. We are not made to merely exist and go through everyday motions as humans.

We are meant to soar like the eagle and reach the greatest of heights that we possibly can. After you have built a relationship with your greatest self, you will find that life will be so much better. You will encounter hardships and obstacles. Everyone does. That's the great equalizer in life. But keep in mind that these challenges can bring out either the worst in you or inspire the best. Recognize that you and you alone can choose the attitude you show up with every day. So go ahead and choose growth, choose self-love, choose thriving, and be the very best that you can be. As Abraham Aslow rightly pointed out, if you plan on being anything less, then you are capable of being. You will probably be unhappy all the days of your life. I hope today's episode brought you some much-needed inspiration and guidance,

and that you can think about this episode and how best to apply it to your life. And if there's an episode like today's on a topic that you would like to hear me discuss, you can reach out at Momentum Friday at PassionStruck.com or if there's a guest like some of the upcoming ones that we have that you would like to see me interview, you can also reach out to me either at that email address or on Instagram and John Armiles or LinkedIn and John Miles. We have truly some amazing episodes coming up over the next couple of months.

These include New York Times best-selling authors, Admiral James Stavridas, Gretchen Rubin and Susan Kane, professors Dr. David Vego and Dr. David Yaden, astronaut Nicole Stott, IFBB Olympian, Hannah Brandfranz, Jordan Harbinger, Kate Ekman, and so many more. I truly appreciate the support that you provide this show and everything that you were doing to apply the lessons that we talk about here

on a weekly basis. Now go out there and live life passion strap. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make passion go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the passion strap podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to your podcast ad. And if you absolutely love this episode, we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes,

and you sharing it with three of your most group-minded friends so they can post it as well to their social accounts and help us grow our PassionStruck community. If you'd like to learn more about the show and our mission, you can go to passionstruck.com where you can sign up for our newsletter, look at our tools, and also download the show notes for today's episode. Additionally, you can listen to us

every Tuesday and Friday, or even more inspiring content. And remember, make a choice, work hard, and step into your sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us. you