Passion Struck with John R. Miles - The 7 Stages of Pain That Lead to Breakthrough Success EP 98

Episode Date: January 14, 2022

Everyone dreams of success, and most want to have it in the quickest timeframe and by taking the easiest path. But success rarely, if ever, works in that linear fashion. We go through typical stages of pain in hardship to achieve ultimate success, and the rewards from doing so are so much higher when you do. John R Miles explains why you must endure pain to achieve success and the 7 stages we cross in doing so. The stages include self-doubt, the temptation to give up, facing failure, accepting responsibility for your problems, embracing rejection, and overcoming criticism. Through these stages, you learn to overcome adversity and achieve breakout results. New to this channel and the passion-struck podcast? Check out our starter packs which are our favorite episodes grouped by topic, to allow you to get a sense of all the podcast has to offer. Go to https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. Like this? Please join me on my new platform for peak performance, life coaching, self-improvement, intentional living, and personal growth: https://passionstruck.com/  and sign up for our email list. Have You Tried NUTRAFOL? 80 Million Americans (both men and women) experience thinning hair. It's common- even normal, but it's not openly discussed, so going through it can feel lonely and frustrating. It's time to change the conversation and join the thousands of people standing up for their strands with Nutrafol. You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to www.Nutrafol.com and using promo code PASSIONSTRUCK to save FIFTEEN DOLLARS OFF your first month's subscription - this is their BEST OFFER available ANYWHERE, and it's only available to US customers for a limited time. Thank you for joining us today on the Passion Struck podcast. New Interviews with the World's GREATEST high achievers will be posted every Tuesday with a Momentum Friday inspirational message! Learn more about me: https://johnrmiles.com SHOW NOTES 0:00 Show Introduction 1:36 4x4x48 Challenge 4:55 Introducing the 7 stages of pain 7:05 Self-Doubt 8:20 Temptation to give up 10:41 Facing failure 12:21 Accepting responsibility 13:51 Embracing rejection 15:37 Facing criticism 17:01 Encountering discouragement 18:10 Applying the lesson to your life ===== FOLLOW JOHN R. MILES ON THE SOCIALS ===== * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnrmiles.c0m * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/JohnMiles * Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast   ====== ABOUT JOHN ====== John R. Miles leads a global movement called Passion Struck. He is passionate about being the catalyst who helps individuals expand into the most excellent version of themselves, unlocking the most no regrets life possible. He is a combat veteran, multi-industry CEO, successful entrepreneur, top podcast host, and author who is helping people worldwide regain their passion. John is one of the most-watched, quoted, and followed high-performance trainers globally, and his leadership acumen spans more than two decades. He's founded or co-founded more than half a dozen successful start-ups, was a Fortune 50 CIO and CISO, mentors rising entrepreneurs, and invests in successful tech ventures. He graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy, where he learned vital leadership skills and was a multi-sport Division 1 athlete.

Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders and growth seekers of all types to the Passion Struck podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach, multi industry CEO, Navy veteran and entrepreneur on a mission to make Passion Co-viral for millions worldwide. I do so by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing high achievers from all walks of life who unlock their secrets and lessons to become an action-struck. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener. By giving you tips, tasks, and activities, you can use to achieve peak performance and for too much action-driven life

you have always wanted to have. Now, let's become PassionStruck. Welcome back to the PassionStruck podcast, and thank you each and every one of you who comes back weekly to listen and learn, to live better, be better, and impact the world. And I have some great guests coming on, including Jeffrey Walker, who is the former vice chairman of J.P. Morgan Chase, and for many years he ran their private equity practice. He is now the chairman of

the Berkeley School of Music, as well as new profit and on the boards of six or seven other philanthropic organizations. The following week after that I have on Claude Silver, who is the chief part officer for VaynerApps, and if you have any familiarity with GaryVee, she's his right-hand person and leads all people operations in his company. I also have some other exciting news. I have been invited by my friend Andrew Marr, who's a retired grain beret. He was on last week's episode to participate in David Goggins for by four by 48 challenge. This is a challenge where

you run or walk four miles every four hours for 48 hours. And if you add that all up, it's like running two marathons and back to back days. And I'm going to be doing it to support the Warrior Angels Foundation in which Andrew Mar runs. So you'll be hearing more of that in the weeks to come, but if you'd like to support it for me in any way, you can reach it out to me on Instagram at John Aramiles.

This week's fan of the week is Mark Palmer, who writes, keep it up. Listening down in San Antonio, Texas daily, love your podcast, keep up the interesting stories, and guess, I'm a U.S. history teacher and would love you to share more of your stories. Thank you so much, Mark, and thank you to all the fans. These ratings mean more than you could possibly know in helping us grow our

movement and popularity and we're now over 3700 of them. Today's episode is about why you must endure pain to achieve success and the seven stages we cross in doing so. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to live in and no regrets life. Now, let the journey begin. We will be right back to the Passion Struck podcast. 80 million Americans, both men and women, experience thinning hair.

It's common even normal, but it's not openly talked about. So going through it can feel lonely and frustrating. That is why it's so important to take charge of your hair growth and make the next few months your time to grow thicker, fuller, healthier hair with neutrophil. Don't wait to start addressing early stages of thinning hair. Neutrophal is clinically shown to improve hair growth and thickness in just three to six months. I'm already using it and seeing improvements in just a few weeks. And it's physician-formulated to be 100% drug-free with potent botanicals to help you grow hair as strong as you are. You can grow thicker, healthier hair, and support our show by going to neutrafall.com and using promo code passionstruck to say $15 off your first month subscription. This is their best offer available anywhere and it's only

available to US customers for a limited time. Plus, free shipping on every order. Get $15 off at neutrafall.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com promo code passion struct for hair as strong as you are. Thank you so much for listening to and supporting the show. All these codes and URLs can be tough to remember, so we'll put them in the show notes for the episode. Please consider supporting those who support the show and make it possible. Now back to PassionStrike. Pain is the path to success.

Yet most people just want success in life without going through the hurdles, we must face to achieve it. Success is like climbing a mountain with the different plateaus you cross along the way, which are met by unpredictable ups and downs. Success in life is built by taking risks, facing fear and becoming self-aware.

By subjecting yourself to pain, you learn how to build resilience to it, allowing yourself to gain confidence to learn how to build resilience to it, allowing yourself to gain confidence to push onwards towards your dreams. We often hear the phrase, no pain, no gain, but have you ever really given it deep thought and applied its meaning into your life? Because the true meaning behind this, common phrase is that you don't feel like you have succeeded if no pain or hardship

were involved. You wouldn't get that feeling of satisfaction if you didn't do the work for it because of the direct correlation of success that comes from the hardships along the way to achieve it. In essence, success doesn't feel earned if it wasn't accomplished without pain and suffering. When you thrive against significant roadblocks and failure, it is only then that you acknowledge your achievement. When you get to the highest levels of success, you tell yourself, I am glad I faced all that trouble. Without it, I wouldn't be anywhere close to where I am today.

And I can tell you that suffering pain, frustration, rejection, and all of it has been the foundation for any success that I've achieved. And if you missed last week's episode, I talked about what happens when your success and happiness are materialistically motivated, versus focused and intangible things and the benefits that they bring in your life. These two episodes go hand in hand, and I would encourage you to listen to it if you haven't done so. It's episode 96. So what are the different stages we encounter is we endure pain to achieve success. The first stage I'm going to talk about

is self-doubt. Self-doubt plays an integral part in making you successful. When you're doing something that matters a lot to you, you're highly likely to question yourself. But when we are constantly challenging our inherent abilities and our actions, it leads to better thinking, our inherent abilities and our actions, it leads to better thinking, leading to better results. The road to success is long with many obstacles and roadblocks along the way. So when you're in a pinch, you start to doubt yourself. But I want you to think about it in a different way and use that self-doubt to help you sort things out. A great example of someone who does that and uses self-doubt as a weapon is the actor Tom Hanks, who has said that he feels the pressure to perform

even today with all the success that he's had. He uses his self-doubt to strengthen his ability to perform, thinking that he will let everyone down if he doesn't perform well. Even the famous American author, John Steinbeck, had a period of self-doubt and once said, I'm not a writer. I've been fooling myself and other people.

However, he fought against it and eventually won the Pulitzer Prize in 1962. The second stage we often go through is the temptation to give up. We start something new. It usually starts out being hard, like working on a New Year's resolution, starting a new job, forming a new habit, or beginning a new challenge. And I'm sure we all know many people who start out with this huge load of steam as they tackle this newly found goal. But as soon as they hit a roadblock, they give up on their path instead of working

through the problems. In his book, The 5 AM Club, Robin Sharma says, any change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and glorious in the end. It is human nature to want to be as successful as possible within a minimum timeframe and with minimum effort, but wanting a result and doing the work to attain it are two different things. You will face many challenges, distractions will take root, and you experience unexpected issues along the way.

That is when you might opt to give up. Do you just give up because of some setbacks? No. During these times, you prepare yourself mentally. You grow. You get control of it and carry on despite the hurdles in life. A perfect example of this would be that of the singer, Katie Perry. And in early age, Katie dropped out of high school and released her first album in 2001, which turned out

to be extremely unsuccessful as only 200 copies were sold. Because of her strong religious background, many industry elites didn't want to back her and she was told no uncountless occasions. Later in 2003, her contract with Island Def Jam was terminated and in 2004, her work was abandoned after she was 80% complete. After failing so many times, she would think she might give up, but she didn't. She did odd jobs and waited for her opportunity.

And finally, in 2006, she joined the Capitol Music Group and released her hit song, I Kissed a Girl. There she finally got commercial recognition. By enduring defeat and persevering through it, her career reached meteorites. As Dale Carnegie said, most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seem to be no hope at all. The third stage we often go through is facing failure. Failure can be your best friend and your biggest enemy simultaneously, and I'm sure many of us have had that feeling in the past.

The only thing that defines failure is your perspective about it. Understandably, you do not want the label of a failure. No one does, but that doesn't imply that you give up on your dreams, goals, duties, and ambition. Instead of seeing it as your enemy, welcome it and think of it as a lesson you need to learn for your growth. This positive attitude will turn the tides, and every failure will start to bring you one step closer to success. I've known many people that kept experimenting, kept failing, remained persistent, and succeeded. The key is not to give into the fear of failure

and to keep moving. A great example of someone who faced failure is Henry Ford, who left his job to establish the Detroit Automobile Company, with 150,000 of investor money. Unfortunately, the company went bankrupt, but as investors had faith in him and invested in the Henry Ford company in 1901. But this venture also failed, despite all of this, Ford accepted his disappointment and tried it again and established the Ford Motor Company in 1903. This time within five years, he succeeded and rewrote the history books with the release of the Model T.

This teaches us a lot about bouncing back from failure. As Roy T. Bennett said, do not fear failure, but rather fear not trying. The fourth stage we often go through is accepting responsibility. It's often the case that there's a goal you time to get to the end of the day. I'm not going to be a lot of time to get to the end of the day. I'm not going to be a lot of time to get to the end of the day. I'm not going to be a lot of time to get to the end of the day.

I'm not going to be a lot of time to get to the end of the day. I'm not going to be a lot of time to get to the end of the day. I'm not going to be a lot of time to get to the end of the day. I'm not going to be a lot of time to get to the end of the day. I'm not going to be a lot of time to get to the end of the day. I'm not going to be a lot of time to get to the end of the day. I'm not going to be a lot of time to get to the end of the day. I'm not going to's so easy for us to arson the things we want to achieve in life.

But when we do, the first step is to acknowledge and take responsibility for our actions and to start solving them. One of the most amazing comeback stories that comes to mind is that of actor Robert Downey Jr. We see the famous actor today playing Iron Man in other roles, but not long ago, Hollywood labeled him as unhierable.

Downey was introduced to drugs at the age of six by his father, and he was constantly doing drugs through the early years as an actor, and the addiction led to several arrests and severe reputation hits. He realized his addiction was a problem, so he was sent to rehab several times, but he failed each time and quit. Then in 2003, when he came out clean after being in a court-ordered drug treatment program, he did so because his wife gave him an ultimatum. And after completely controlling his problem, he has achieved tremendous fame and success while rebuilding his reputation and reinventing his life.

The fifth stage we often encounter on the road to achieving success is embracing rejection. Rejection is something that we all face. Who hasn't been rejected from a job, a role in a play, or making a sports team, being rejected by a person whom we wanted to date, or another goal we desired at some point in our life that didn't come to fruition. There can be countless reasons behind the rejection, but whatever the reason, if you face rejection, it doesn't mean you don't have

the potential to do it, or that your work is a failure. Look at it, work on it, find a better way to attain it, maybe confident about it. The words, the Beatles, and rejection seldom appear in the same sentence. But there was a time when they faced near-correr ending rejection. The band had been together for nearly five years when they auditioned for Deca. During the audition, the band's manager, Brian Epstein, selected 10 novelty covers of songs popular in America, which the Beatles tried to sing without courageous American accents.

The overly confident quartet only did three originals during the session and were told by the Deca executive that guitar bands were on their way out and not the future of music. What a colossal mistake that was. Three months after the Deca rejection, they were signed by a subsidiary of EMI and have gone on to sell hundreds of millions of records as we all know. The critical thing to note here is that Deco's rejection is now considered one of the most foolish mistakes ever in the music industry. When you face rejection, learn to accept it and work on it instead of giving up.

The sixth stage that we often face is face and criticism. How often do you see great achievers, whether they be Elon Musk or in the past Steve Jobs or Mark Benioff, the leader of Salesforce, or could be an athlete or someone else, getting criticizing the news on social media or on other platforms? They bring forth world-changing ideas and opinions that go counter to the status quo and And when that happens, criticism is sure to follow. Why do people criticize and humiliate successful people? I think the simple fact is people are envious of others' success. After all, it is way easier to throw stones at each other's work

and achievement than to have the confidence to take risks, work hard, and do the same. They use it as a defense mechanism to shield their insecurities and failures by doing their best to not successful people down. That is why it's so important to surround yourself with people who bring you up and not tear you down. And I did a great episode on this that I called the mosquito principle that I would highly encourage you to listen to.

With success, welcome criticism. There's no way around it. So accept the fact that some people will dislike your work, some will love it, and there will be some who will dislike you no matter what you do or what you achieve. Welcome them with a smile, I say, and let your success speak for you. The seventh and last stage I'm going to cover is encountering disencouragement. It is said that you should keep your dreams to yourself because it is only you who truly knows of the significance it has in your eyes. Everyone sees and judges something with their perspective. So people will likely discourage you when you share your ideas with them. While it's vital to get second opinions about something, I encourage you don't blindly agree with what other people have to say.

Had I done so through my career, I would have never accomplished a fraction of what I have done, including starting this podcast and launching a passion-struck movement. Nero-minded people tend not to see the death of your vision and try to steer you in other directions because they don't share the same passion as you do. The road to success is full of challenges, so I want you to believe in yourself and never give up on your ambition, no matter the obstacles along the way. So now that we've gone through the seven stages of pain on the way to success, how can you apply these to your life? Earlier this morning, while I was doing the spin class, the instructor discussed as they often do that if you don't get out there

and grow and get the most out of the workout, then you're not going to get the results from it. Basically, your results equal the effort and pain that you feel in achieving it. Whether it's success enhancing your physical fitness, relationship career, or life in general, real work needs to be done to create the results you hope to achieve. Just as Rome wasn't built in a day, neither is success in your life. Like any self-growth or achievement that is desired, it's a process that needs constant nurturing. There will be ups and downs along the way.

There always are. Successfully climbing those mountains and overcoming those plant toes, you encounter are the keys to achievement. If you want success in life, you will most likely endure self-doubt, the temptation to give up failure, owning your responsibility for that failure, rejection, criticism, and discouragement. The resilience you show in overcoming these stages will define the ultimate success that you will enjoy. Thank you

for listening to this episode of The Passion Start Podcast. I brought up a few past episodes that I wanted to highlight. One was from last week, episode 96 on how materialism is impacting your success and happiness. Another was episode 9 on why you must stop being a visionary arsonist. I also talked about the episode that I did on the mosquito principle. Lastly, I would encourage you to listen to episode 8. I did with former master chief, Tak Williams Williams on keeping focus when dealing with conflict. That episode provides so many valuable life lessons. And if you're new to the show or you would like to introduce it to a friend or family member, we now have starter packs. These are collections

of your favorite episodes that we categorize by topic. And it gives you such an easy way to get used to everything that we do here on the show and what we have to offer. Just go to passionstruck.com slash starter packs to get started. And if you haven't checked out our YouTube channel at JohnRMiles, please do so where we have over 225 different videos ranging in long form videos from our interviews to short two to five minute segments we call mindset moments. And if there's a guest that you would like to see me interview or a topic like today's that you would like to hear me discuss, please DM me on Instagram at John Armiles for Reach Out to Me on LinkedIn at John Miles. Now, go out there and live life passion struck. Thank you so much for joining us.

The purpose of our show is to make passion go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the PassionStrike podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher or wherever you listen to your podcast ad. And if you absolutely love this episode, we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes, and you sharing it with three of your most group-minded friends so they can post it as well to their social accounts and help us grow our passion start community. If you'd like to learn more about the show and our mission, you can go to passionstruck.com

where you can sign up for our newsletter, look at our tools, and also download the show notes for today's episode. Additionally, you can listen to us every Tuesday and Friday for even more inspiring content. And remember, make a choice, work hard, and step into your sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us. you