Passion Struck with John R. Miles - The Incredible Power of Being Resilient EP 76

Episode Date: October 29, 2021

Approximately 60 percent of people in North America report at least one traumatic event in their lifetime. Through this lens, John R Miles discusses why the human capacity for the incredible power of being resilient is quite remarkable. Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/MAUZCNWKXyE. Subscribe to the Passion Struck podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-passion-struck-podcast/id1553279283. Athletic Greens is a custom formulation of 75 vitamins, minerals, and other whole-food sourced ingredients that make it easier for you to maintain nutrition in just a single scoop. It tastes great and gets you the nutrients you need, whether you're working on the go, fueling an active lifestyle, or just maintaining your good health. Visit https://athleticgreens.com/passionstruck to get a FREE year supply of Liquid Vitamin D + 5 FREE Travel Packs with the subscription. Like this? Want passion-struck wisdom delivered to your inbox weekly? Sign up for the FREE passion struck email at: https://passionstruck.com/. Thank you for listening to the Passion Struck podcast and being our guest to listen, learn, and grow. In this powerful Momentum Friday Episode, John R. Miles discusses what it means to be resilient, what resilience doesn’t mean, the concept of post-traumatic growth, and what are the reasons some people are more resilient than others. In the next solo episode, he will go into the different ways that you can build resilience in your own life.  New Interviews with the World's GREATEST high achievers will be posted every Tuesday with a Momentum Friday inspirational message! SHOW NOTES 0:00 Introduction 2:37 Why is adversity inevitable? 6:07 What is resilience? 8:53 What being resilient isn't 11:30 Post-Traumatic Growth 13:54 Why some people are more resilient 17:08 Introducing starter packs ENGAGE WITH JOHN R. MILES * Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles * Leave a comment, 5-star rating (please!) * Support me: https://johnrmiles.com * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Johnrmiles.c0m. * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles ABOUT JOHN R. MILES * https://johnrmiles.com/my-story/ * Guides: https://johnrmiles.com/blog/ * Coaching: https://passionstruck.com/coaching/ * Speaking: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking-business-transformation/ * Gear: https://www.zazzle.com/store/passion_struck PASSION STRUCK *Subscribe to Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-passion-struck-podcast/id1553279283 *Website: https://passionstruck.com/ *About: https://passionstruck.com/about-passionstruck-johnrmiles/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/passionstruck *Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/

Welcome to the PassionStruck podcast, and thank you so much for being here. I am excited to channel and transfer my positive energy to each and every one of you. As you're walking your dog, driving your kids to an activity on your daily commute, making dinner, doing chores, or whatever activity it may be

that you're doing while you're listening. Thank you so much for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your guide and host on your journey of becoming PassionStruck. Many of the topics that I am doing in these solo episodes, including the topic from today, were ideas from you, the audience. If there's a topic that you want to hear me discuss or a guest that you would like to see me interview, please DM me at Instagram at John Irmiles or reach out to me at LinkedIn. I wanted to take a moment to highlight our fan of the week.

And today's comes to us all the way from New Zealand. Marcus Martin writes, Build Confidence Through Achievement in this podcast. Thank you very much for helping me to bring out the best version of myself. You're welcome. And Marcus, thank you so much for helping me to bring out the best version of myself. You're welcome and Marcus thank you so much for taking the time to write up that review. They mean so much to us and helping us on our mission to make passion go viral across the world. Now let's talk about today's episode. This topic came directly from a listener who asked me

how do you unlock the power of resilience? I decided to take this question on in two parts. Today, I will go into what does it mean to be resilient? What being resilient doesn't mean, introducing the concept of post-traumatic growth and what are the reasons why some people become more resilient than others. Next week, I will go into the different ways that you can build resilience in your own

life. Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders, and growth seekers of all types to the PassionStruck podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach, multi industry CEO, maybe veteran and entrepreneur on a mission to make passion go viral for millions worldwide. And each week I do so by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing eye achievers from all walks of life to unlock their secrets and lessons to becoming passion struck. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener by giving you tips,

tasks, and activities. You can use to achieve peak performance and for two, the passion-driven life you have always wanted to have. Now let's become passion struck. One of the chapters in my upcoming book is all about the five stages or transitions on the journey to becoming passion struck. And one of the characteristics along that journey for those who achieve stage four or five is being resilient. Resilience can often be obtained through unforeseen circumstances, considering that approximately 51% of women and 61% of men report experiencing one traumatic event during their lifetime.

The human capacity for resilience is really quite remarkable. Let's face it, experiencing lost and failure is inevitable. At a certain point in each and every one of our life, we all will experience various setbacks, whether they're minor, such as not making a sports team or perhaps not getting the part that you want in the school play, significant, such as losing your job or traumatic,

such as losing a loved one, having a personal illness or having something like sexual or physical assault. There is no doubt that trauma shakes up who you are. And in turn, what we think about our goals and aspirations after that trauma occurs. As we pass through life, most of us get depressed, dejected, stuck, or hurt. But there is such a big difference in how we respond to it. Some embrace the hardship and others get buried under the overwhelming weight of it.

To which category do you belong? The one that learns from adversity or the one that experiences intense distress from which they are unable to recover? Survival of the fittest, the same goes with resilience. The more resilient you are, the greater your chances are to survive the hurdles that life throws at you. But what doesn't mean to have resilience? What isn't resilience? And what are some of the reasons that some people are able to develop more resilience than others? The PassionStruck podcast will be right back. I am so excited about today's sponsor,

Athletic Greens, because it is a product that I personally use and love. In fact, Athletic Greens is completely transforming nutrition and helping so many achieve peak performance. This product is so easy to use and make part of your daily morning routine. That's exactly what happened to me. I just come down every single morning and the first thing I do is take one scoop of their powder, put it in an eight ounce glass of water and it tastes amazing. And the product consists of 75 different vitamins, minerals, immune supporting mushrooms and probiotics.

So much here to help your nutrition get the boost that it needs without you having to go to either the store or eat a salad or whatever it may be in our hectic schedules. And with all the stressors better around us, this is such an easy way to solve your daily nutrition. they are offering my audience a special when you subscribe. And this includes a one-year supply of vitamin D and five travel packs go to athleticgreens.com slash passion struck to get started. Again, get your one-year supply of vitamin D, those five travel packs by going to athleticgreens.com slash passion struck. Now let's get back to becoming passion struck. So let's tackle the first question. What is resilience?

A simple way to answer this is resilience is our ability to bounce back after a setback. It enables you to cope with mishaps, adversity, challenges, and trauma. It forges an armor of hope, strength, and prosperity all around you, preventing dismay from penetrating through, developing resistance against the negative impacts of unfortunate events in our lives and quickly responding to them is called resilience. And a big thing about being resilient is that it comes the more we know and accept ourselves. When you are comfortable with who you are, you stop trying to be someone whom you are not. Instead of judging things from a particular perspective, you see the world

as it really is. It's really going from being self-centric to becoming world-centric. This allows you to have such a better sense of understanding and grants you the ability to withstand adversity. But resilience doesn't provide an escape from the truth. It is really about accepting your new reality, even if the circumstances after it may not be as good as they were before. You can either cry about it, do nothing, or be resilient enough to pick yourself up and make the best out of the situation that you can. As Charles Darwin said,

it's not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one who is most adaptable to change. If you are resilient, you will pull yourself together, learn from it, and grow. If not, you will probably fall prey to anxiety, depression, and might resort to harmful, self-coping techniques, such as doing drugs or abusing alcohol. To self-medicate and distract yourself from the reality of the situation you are facing. Resilience is really about feeling comfortable in your own body.

It's being secure with oneself and possessing calmness, confidence, and comfort in one's abilities because it is totally based on self belief. If you doubt yourself, your abilities, your decision-making, your superpowers, you will likely go in the opposite direction, thinking that you're not capable enough. Make a case with yourself, and resilience soon shall follow. Resilience involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that anyone can learn and develop.

The ability to retain strength and stability is one that research has shown is accomplished by doing the ordinary, not the extraordinary. Like building a muscle, increasing your resilience takes time and it takes intentionality. Now that we have talked about what resilience is, let's talk about what resilience isn't. Now, being resilient doesn't mean you don't recognize the death of the loss or that you don't feel the pain or that you don't feel the failure. It's really about living with your new reality. Even if that reality isn't what you expected or what you want it to be.

Being resilient isn't the same thing as having strength. A good way to think about this is that strong winds can take down a heavy tree. But the flexible ones just adapt to them and remain. Flexibility, that's exactly what resilience is. It allows us to have the capacity to adapt to given situations. Furthermore, resilience doesn't mean that you will never give up no matter what. It's really about knowing your limits. If something is not going in your favor, it teaches you when to let go and when to hold on.

Resilience isn't something that you inherit. It's a skill that everyone can acquire by altering their behavior, mindset, activities and habits. Also, it isn't the one and all problem solver. Sometimes in life, you will experience severe or traumatic issues. Like, let's say possibly that you're working in extremely hostile work environment

with peers or people around you that are badly behaved, report it or leave it because you are most likely to get harmed or affected by it no matter what happens. Moreover, if you have lost someone who is near and dear to you, resilience can't make that pain disappear. Resilience isn't a pain killer. Resilience helps you live with it and gives you the ability to move on and learn from

whatever that circumstance may be. Resilience doesn't mean bouncing back from a setback, but what you use to bounce back matters. And it isn't about being selfish either. Achieving your goals by putting yourself first over others will never get you to where you wanna be. Positivity and resilience are codependent. And if someone is resilient,

that doesn't mean that they went through some tragic incident. Building resilience is part of our daily lives and the certain unfortunate events that transpire in our everyday life that make us who we are, like perhaps getting into a fight when you were younger, losing a job, having a tough time at work,

financial problems, and many other things that happened to us throughout our lives. It's how you approach all of these things that defines you. And now that we have defined what resilience is and what it isn't, I wanted to discuss a new topic in term that's new to me and maybe new to you. It is called post-traumatic growth. Now, a lot of us have heard of post-traumatic stress or post-traumatic stress disorder, but post-traumatic growth is something entirely different. In his influential 2004 paper titled,

Bloss, Trauma, and Human Resilience, clinical psychologist George Bonanno argued for a greater conceptualization of stress responding. He defined resilience as the ability to maintain relatively stable, healthy mental and physical functioning levels after experiencing a highly life-threatening or traumatic event. Post-traumatic growth and resilience happened to go down the same route. It's just that growth after experiencing these highly traumatic events is called post-traumatic growth.

And as a result of post-traumatic growth, you go through positive psychological changes that age you in developing resilience. But even though post-traumatic growth is a factor in creating resilience, they're not the same thing. Dr. Kanako Toku said, resiliency is the personal attribute or ability to bounce back.

Whereas post-traumatic growth is the growth that one achieves, even if one cannot quickly jump back from a setback. For post-traumatic growth, Dr. Taku said, it takes a lot of time, energy, and struggle. Growth is possible even in the most hardest of times, and that really is what post-traumatic growth is all about. It is the positive growth that comes as a result, as was explained by psychologist Richard Glenn Tadeishi and Lawrence in the 1990s. Now there are seven different areas of growth

that have been reported to arise from adversity. The first is a larger appreciation for life. The second is a much stronger strengthening of close relationships. The third is an increased level of both compassion and benevolence. The fourth is finding a new calling or life's purpose. The fifth is learning to make greater use, a personal strength.

The sixth is enhanced spiritual growth, and the seventh is creative development. So with all that said, what are some of the reasons that some people are more resilient than others? As Austrian psychiatrist, Victor Frankl put it, when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. Resilient people are situationally aware. They understand their own emotional reactions and the behavior of those around them. By remaining aware, they can maintain control of a situation and think of new ways to tackle problems. In many ways, resilient people become stronger

after experiencing such difficulties. But what is the underlying reason that makes some people more resilient than others? Even though they may experience similar traumatic events or possibly the same traumatic event, the degree of its impact on each and every one of us is different. It's the same as having a traumatic brain injury. They are both like snowflakes, and no two snowflakes, as we all know, are the same. According to Donald

M. Bomm, 60% of North Americans will face traumatic events in their lives, out of which 70% will become resilient and 30% will suffer from harmful adverse effects. What causes the difference? Building resilience isn't just about you alone. Your environment, atmosphere, friends, family, financial predicament, and access to resources also make a profound impact and how you react and recover from specific situations. Resilient people take failure as a learning experience instead of falling apart and that mentality keeps them going. They show commitment and set specific goals to keep themselves positive and with a sense of purpose.

It is commonly seen as I discussed above that people with resilience also have strong self-awareness, confidence, calmness, and self-control. They know what they are able to do to make an impact. And instead of stressing over uncontrollable things, they invest their time in what they can control and what they can improve. So if you are looking to become resilient or you don't feel like you have enough in your own life, I hope what I just unpack there will give you a better idea of what resilience is

and what it isn't. Once that map is clear, the path to growing in resilience will become clearer as well. So how do you apply today's lesson to your life? The path to resilience isn't a race, it's a journey. So take one step at a time. Start first by working on your own self-awareness, your physical and mental health,

and the confidence that comes along with it. And after that, apply those learnings to your purpose, ambitions, and the future that you want to see for yourself. By doing that, you will know the potential that you want to achieve in your life. And with that in mind, you will stay motivated to keep that path, regardless of the obstacles that come your way. And I hope today's episode answered the question that the listener had. And again, in the next episode, I will go over different ways that you can become resilient in your own life.

I did want to take this opportunity to talk to you about two new things on the PassionStruck website. The first is we have introduced starter packs. This is on the website at passionstruck.com slash starter packs. And what we did here is we took the most popular episodes that we've had on the show, and we've organized them by topic. This is a great way if you're new to the show or want to go back to a past episode that's topical in nature, such as overcoming adversity and be able to see some samples that we have aligned to each one of those topics. The second thing that we are introducing are a list of my favorite books and books that guests talk about on the podcast. And you can find that also at passionstruck.com books. And on there, I provide two different ways that you can purchase those books.

One is through Amazon and the other is through Bookshop. Thank you so much as always for joining today's show. Now, go out there and become PassionStruck. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make Passion Go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more,

please subscribe to the PassionStruck podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to hear more, please subscribe to the PassionStrike Podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to your podcast ad. And if you absolutely love this episode, we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes, and you're sharing it with three of your most growth-minded friends, so they can post it as well to their social accounts and help us grow our PassionStrike community. If you'd like to learn more about the show and our mission, you can go to passionstruck.com where you can sign up for our newsletter,

look at our tools and also download the show notes for today's episode. Additionally, you can listen to us every Tuesday and Friday for even more inspiring content. And remember, make a choice, work hard, and step into your sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us. you