Passion Struck with John R. Miles - The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode

Starting point is 00:00:00 What if the reason love feels so uncertain isn't because you haven't found the right person, but because you haven't fully chosen yourself? Too many people mistake being wanted for being valued. Mistaking makes signals for mystery and inconsistency for passion. But here's the truth. Real love doesn't leave you guessing. It's built on mutual respect, emotional security, and the belief that you matter. In episode 579, we're diving deep into the mattering mindset in love. How to recognize when you're being chosen out of love versus convenience. How to stop chasing validation, and how to build relationships that make you feel seen, valued, and truly secure. If you're

Starting point is 00:00:44 tired of second guessing your worth in love, this conversation will change everything. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders,

Starting point is 00:01:26 visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become Passion Struck. Hey there, Passion Struck family. Welcome to episode 579. Whether you've been with me for a while or this is your first time, this is where we challenge conventional thinking and create lives that truly matter. Earlier this week we tackled two powerful conversations that reshaped how we think about influence on both a global and personal scale. On Tuesday I sat down with Edward Fishman, author of the new book Choke Points, to break down the hidden power of global supply chains and how economic warfare is shaping the world around us.

Starting point is 00:02:07 Then on Thursday, Dr. Sandra Maxx joined me to explore the fascinating world of digital psychology, how the data we generate every day is being used to influence, predict, and even manipulate our behaviors in ways we don't always realize. And today we're bringing it back to something even more personal, the way we experience love. Last time in part one of the Mattering Mindset in Love, we explored why mattering is the foundation of every great relationship. We talked about how your self-worth shapes the love you accept, the danger of chasing validation instead of real connection, and how to recognize when you're investing

Starting point is 00:02:45 in the wrong person. But that was just the beginning, because today we're diving deeper into the conversations that most people avoid, the ones that determine whether a relationship is built to last. Have you ever wondered, am I being chosen, or am I just convenient?

Starting point is 00:03:02 Does my relationship actually make me feel secure? Or am I constantly questioning where I stand? If nothing changed, would I still be happy in five years? These are the questions that separate settling from thriving. In this episode, I will break down the commitment conversation. Are you being chosen or just strung along? We go into the mattering mindset in love, why great relationships require mutual investment, not one-sided effort, and then

Starting point is 00:03:30 lastly we discuss the four dimensions of mattering in love. A framework to assess whether your relationship truly values you or holds you back because love isn't about convincing someone to see your worth, it's about building a connection where your worth is never in question. So if you're ready to stop waiting for someone to choose you and start choosing the love you truly deserve, then this is the episode for you. Thank you for choosing Passion Strike

Starting point is 00:03:56 and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. ["Passion Strike"] life. Now, let that journey begin. Last week in episode 576, we laid the foundation for how mattering shapes our relationships. We talked about why mattering comes first, how the way we see ourselves dictates the love we accept. We also explored what it means to truly show up as your full self in a relationship, and

Starting point is 00:04:25 how to recognize when you're chasing the wrong person instead of being chosen. But knowing these things isn't enough. The real challenge is applying them. So today, we're shifting the focus to something even more defining—commitment. Because here's the hard truth—many people mistake exclusivity for real commitment. They think having a title means they're secure in the relationship, but true commitment is not about being labeled official or exclusive. It's about being chosen, not just once, but over and over,

Starting point is 00:04:57 through actions, not just words. And that brings me back to Carly. If you listened to part one, you'll remember how, at first, everything with Carly seemed great. We had a real connection, we had fun together, and it felt like things were moving forward. But over time, I started noticing something was off. I wanted something meaningful, and she wasn't being forthright. I kept waiting for her to choose me instead of asking myself, am I truly choosing this

Starting point is 00:05:24 relationship or just hoping for validation? I was afraid to ask for clarity because I didn't want to lose her and that's where so many people get stuck. They hesitate to ask for clarity because they're afraid of losing the other person. But let me ask you something, do you feel safe bringing up your needs in your relationship? Do they show up for you consistently or only when it's convenient? Are you being chosen or are you just hoping they'll choose you? Because if clarity scares someone away, they were never fully invested to begin with. And real love doesn't make you afraid to ask for where you stand.

Starting point is 00:06:05 So this brings us to the commitment conversation. Are you being chosen or truly choosing? Commitment is not about exclusivity. It's about consistent action over time. And many people mistake exclusivity for real commitment. But a truly committed relationship isn't about just having a title. It's about choosing each other every day, even when it's inconvenient. So here's a key question.

Starting point is 00:06:29 Do I feel safe bringing up my needs in this relationship? If clarity scares someone away, they were never truly invested. The right partner welcomes these conversations, not because they have to, but because they value you. Dr. Abby Medcalf, a relationship expert, bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and host of the Relationships Made Easy podcast has spent over 30 years studying why people stay stuck

Starting point is 00:06:54 in the wrong relationships. She shared with me on Passion Stock episode 183 that many people settle because they confuse trust and familiarity. But trust is more than honesty. It's made up of three parts. Integrity, do they follow through on their words? Competence, can they show up in the relationship in a real way?

Starting point is 00:07:15 And goodwill, do they have your best interests at heart? If you only have honesty, but lack the other two, you don't have real trust. You have convenience. That's the other two, you don't have real trust. You have convenience. That's why settling doesn't feel safe. It feels exhausting. Because you're constantly questioning where you stand. You're afraid that bringing up commitment will push them away.

Starting point is 00:07:37 And they choose you when it's convenient, but disappear when it's not. I don't know about you, but I for sure have felt those things before and I'm guessing you have too. So many people hesitate to define the relationship because they don't want to scare the other person off. But here's the truth. Commitment conversations don't end the right connection, they reveal the wrong one. Dr. Marissa Franco is one of the world's leading experts in human connection, a New York Times bestselling author, psychologist, and TED speaker. And we discussed human connection on episode 207, and she told me,

Starting point is 00:08:17 we are wired for connection, but we've been conditioned to believe only romantic love matters. And that keeps us stuck in unhealthy dynamics. Believing, we're failing if we don't have a romantic partner. But she told me the happiest people in the world build entire communities of love, not just one relationship. If clarity scares someone away, they were never truly invested. And this is the important part.

Starting point is 00:08:43 The right person will want to have these discussions because they value you. So here's a key question you have to ask yourself. Do I feel safe bringing up my needs in this relationship? Because if you don't feel safe talking about commitment, that is your answer. So now I wanna get into something really important. It's a mistake we all make.

Starting point is 00:09:04 Listening to words instead of watching actions. And this is something that I wrote about in my book, Passion Struck, in a chapter I called People Speak With Their Feet. If someone truly wants you in their life, you won't have to guess. Let me say that again, because it's so important. If someone truly wants you in their life,

Starting point is 00:09:25 you won't have to guess. And I talked about this with relationship experts John Kim and Vanessa Bennett on Passion Struck. Vanessa shared that early in her relationship with John, she could feel him pulling away. And instead of chasing him, she made a powerful decision. She told him, John, I know I'm awesome and I know what I bring to the table. If you don't want it, that's fine, but I need to know. And that is self-worth in action because being chosen isn't enough.

Starting point is 00:09:56 You need to make sure you are truly choosing too. So here are some signs that you're settling. You're constantly questioning where you stand. You hesitate to bring up commitment because you're afraid it will scare them away. You feel like they choose you only when it's convenient, but disappear when it's not. And John admitted at the time, he wasn't sure what he wanted.

Starting point is 00:10:18 He was caught between uncertainty and emotional resistance. And this is something a lot of people experience. They like you, but they're not ready for real commitment. They care, but they're not willing to show up consistently. They enjoy spending time with you, but they're still keeping their options open. And here's the truth, if someone is unsure about you, they are not your person.

Starting point is 00:10:41 And this leads me into another key topic, the difference between being chosen out of love versus convenience. It really gets down to the fundamental question, are they choosing you because they love you or because it's easy? Dr. Franco explains that too many people stay in relationships out of fear. Fear of being alone, fear of change. Fear of the unknown. Rather than because of true connection. When someone chooses you out of convenience, you need to understand that the relationship is built on habit. Not effort. They stay because it's familiar, not because it's fulfilling. They stay out of comfort, not passion. They like having you around, but they're not actively building with you. They have the fear of being alone, not genuine love.

Starting point is 00:11:28 You're a placeholder, not a priority. But when someone chooses you out of love, they show up with consistency, not just intensity. Love isn't about grand gestures, it's about daily actions. They listen, communicate, and grow with you. They don't avoid the hard conversations. They engage in them. And they value your emotional safety, not just their own needs.

Starting point is 00:11:51 They don't make you question your worth or where you stand. The right person doesn't make you feel like an option. They make you feel like a priority. So this is an important mattering check-in. Are you in love with the person or just the idea of them? Here's a hard but necessary question. Do you truly love them or do you just love the feeling of being wanted? If you're more attached to the idea of the relationship than the reality of it,

Starting point is 00:12:18 that's a red flag. Love isn't about fitting someone into your fantasy. It's about choosing what's real together. So I'm going to give you a microgain challenge. I'm going to encourage you to have the commitment conversation. Take five minutes today and ask yourself, what does commitment actually mean to me? Am I afraid to bring it up? And if so, why? Would I accept this level of effort from a friend? Because if you wouldn't tolerate it in a friendship,

Starting point is 00:12:47 why accept it in a relationship? And here are some important microgains to find the right relationship. Have the commitment conversation early. If they leave, better now than later. Ask, what does commitment look like to you? And see if their definition aligns with yours. And then observe who initiates, who follows through, and who makes effort. If it's always you, take a step back. The bottom line, if it scares them off, they were never truly invested.

Starting point is 00:13:17 If you feel uncertain, that's not security. And if you have to convince someone to choose you, they are not your person. Because the right person doesn't just choose you once, they choose you over and over and over again. And you deserve that. So we've just established what it feels like to be truly chosen. To be in a relationship where you don't have to shrink yourself, prove your worth, and

Starting point is 00:13:40 guess where you stand. But what happens when you realize you're not in that kind of relationship? What happens when you wake up one day and realize you've been waiting to be chosen instead of choosing yourself? That's when the real work begins. Because walking away from the wrong relationship isn't just about losing that person, it's about losing the version of yourself

Starting point is 00:14:02 that existed in that relationship. That's why breakups feel so painful. Not just because you miss them, but because you miss the life you imagine together. You miss the identity you built around being with them. And that's what makes moving on so damn hard. And this is why breakups feel like losing yourself. So let's go back to my story about Carly. At first, I kept hoping Carly would come around. I kept justifying the mixed signals.

Starting point is 00:14:31 I kept making excuses for why she wasn't being fully transparent about what she wanted. And the hardest part, I convinced myself that if I was just patient enough, she would eventually choose me the way I was choosing her. By the time I finally walked away from Carly, I knew it was the right decision. But knowing something logically and feeling it emotionally, let me tell you, are two different things. Because the hardest part of a breakup isn't just losing the relationship,

Starting point is 00:15:02 it's losing the version of yourself that existed in it. Dr. Franco explained to me that this is why breakups feel like losing yourself. She told me, we define ourselves through our relationships. So when a relationship ends, we don't just lose that person, we lose a part of who we were. That's why even when a relationship wasn't right, it can still feel like something is missing. Because you weren't just attached to the person, you were attached to the identity you built alongside them. So this is why it is so important to reframe breakups as growth, not loss.

Starting point is 00:15:41 Because you didn't lose love, you gained clarity. You didn't fail. You learned what you won't tolerate next time. Importantly, you aren't broken. You're building a stronger version of yourself. Healing isn't just about forgetting them, it's about remembering you. And the hard truth of my relationship with Carly is I was waiting for someone to validate me instead of valuing myself. And this is where self-worth comes in. This is where personal mattering comes in.

Starting point is 00:16:12 Because here's what I wasn't asking myself. Did I feel valued as I was? Or was I constantly questioning my worth? And if I'm being truly honest with you, I wasn't being valued. I was waiting to be valued. And here's the problem with waiting. When you need someone else to validate you, you've already given your power away. So here's a key question.

Starting point is 00:16:34 Are you being chosen or are you just hoping someone will choose you? If you have to wonder, if you have to guess, if you have to convince them, it's not real commitment. And now we're going to go into why your brain is keeping you stuck in the past. Dr. Abbey Medcalf explained to me that breakups feel unbearable, not because they were the right person, but because of how our brain filters information. It all comes down to something called the Veticular Activating System, short for RAS, the part of your brain that acts as a filter between

Starting point is 00:17:05 what you consciously think and what your subconscious believes. Have you ever noticed that when you decide to buy a certain car, you suddenly see that car everywhere? That's your RAS at work. It picks up on what you focus on most. And here's the problem. If you're stuck in a breakup, your RAS filters out all the reasons it didn't work and only searches for proof that they were your perfect person. And this is what ends up happening. You remember the good times and ignore the bad. You romanticize their potential instead of seeing reality. You stay emotionally attached to something that was never fully choosing you.

Starting point is 00:17:42 And that's why breakups feel unbearable, because your brain is literally working against you, making you think you're losing something irreplaceable when in reality, you lost something that wasn't fully choosing you. So here's a reality check. If someone was truly meant for you, they wouldn't have left. If they were the right person,

Starting point is 00:18:02 you wouldn't have to convince them to stay. Letting go isn't just about moving on. It's about retraining your brain to see reality, not fantasy. So if we know our brain is wired to keep us attached, how do we actually break free? Self-awareness is the key. In my interview with Dr. Tasha Yura, one of the world's leading experts on self-awareness, she said something that hit me hard. The biggest reason people stay stuck in painful relationships is a lack of self-awareness. She then went on to say, we tend to be the least self-aware in the areas where we need it most. This is why so many people repeat the same painful relationship cycles without even realizing

Starting point is 00:18:48 they're doing it. They leave one relationship only to find themselves in another one that feels eerily similar. They keep attracting partners who make them question their worth. They confuse intensity with real connection, mistaking chemistry for compatibility. And if we're not self-aware, we keep making the same choices, not because we want to, but because we haven't done the work to understand why. So I'm gonna give you something important here,

Starting point is 00:19:16 the Breakup Self-Awareness Test. I want you to ask yourself these three questions. What truth about myself did this relationship reveal? What patterns do I keep repeating in my love life? And how can I use this experience to become more intentional in my next relationship? Because healing isn't just about moving on, it's about recognizing the patterns that kept you stuck and choosing differently next time. So here's a way that you can rewrite your breakup story. If a past breakup still weighs on you, take five minutes and write down three things it

Starting point is 00:19:53 taught you about love. One way it pushed you closer to the relationship you deserve and what you gained by letting them go. Because healing isn't about erasing the past, it's about using it to rebuild a stronger future. If you've ever walked away from a relationship where you felt unseen, you know that the hardest part isn't just leaving, it's rewriting your entire sense of self. Because when we lose mattering in love, we don't just lose the person, we lose the version of ourselves we became with them. And that's why healing isn't just about moving on, it's about learning to see yourself

Starting point is 00:20:26 again without needing someone else to reflect your worth back to you. So before I talked about how I kept waiting for someone to choose me, how I convinced myself that maybe if I just showed up in the right way, they'd finally see my worth. But when you believe you have to prove your value, you end up shrinking parts of yourself just to fit into a relationship. And the truth is, if you have to convince someone to love you, they're not your person. And I didn't really understand that until I met Cori. She was different from anyone I had ever met before.

Starting point is 00:20:58 Not because everything was perfect. Not because we never had conflict. Because for the first time, I didn't feel like I had to perform. I didn't feel like I had to earn love. I could just be me. When I first started dating Corey, something was immediately different. She didn't avoid tough conversations. She didn't wait for resentment to build up.

Starting point is 00:21:19 She addressed things directly. She made it clear that my needs were just as important as hers and she saw all of me My strengths and my flaws and loved me as I was this was relational mattering in action I felt seen heard valued for exactly who I was and this brings us to the mattering mindset in love What healthy love actually looks like. Love should make you more of who you are. Period. Not less. A good relationship doesn't make you feel like you have to tiptoe around someone's emotions or walk on eggshells. It doesn't make you question your worth or whether your feelings are quote unquote too much. So how do you

Starting point is 00:22:02 know if you're in the right relationship? You feel emotionally safe. And that shows up because you don't have to second guess everything. You don't have to shrink yourself to avoid conflict. You can have hard conversations without fear of being abandoned. So now I wanna discuss why Corey was different and why that changed everything for me.

Starting point is 00:22:22 Meeting Corey was what finally snapped me out of that cycle. Because when you're with the right person, your brain doesn't have to work overtime, convincing you that you're happy. You just know. There was no chasing, no over-explaining, no wondering where I stood. The right person doesn't make you wonder where you stand.

Starting point is 00:22:43 They make you feel like you matter. They make you feel like you matter So if you're in a situation where you constantly have to convince yourself, it's enough. It's not Love isn't about just being wanted. It's about being chosen fully and freely and That's what the mattering mindset and love is all about And this comes down to the fundamental question. Are you building the scaffolding of mattering and love or just holding on? The biggest difference between Carly and Cory? Carly was comfortable with where we were. Cory, on the other hand, was committed to building something together.

Starting point is 00:23:19 This is emotional mattering. The difference between a relationship that grows versus one that stays stagnant. And here's what you can ask yourself in the relationship that you find yourself in. Are we working towards something real? Are we aligned in our values and long-term vision? Are we both contributing to the relationship or is one person carrying it? Because a relationship should feel like a team effort, not a solo mission. Bottom line, if you can't see them in your future, they don't belong in your present. Which brings us to future alignment. If I had stayed with Carly, I would have been living in limbo, hoping for something that

Starting point is 00:23:58 was never going to happen. But with Cory, I didn't have to wonder. Because real love isn't about guessing. It's about clarity. It's about choosing the other person and them choosing you back. So ask yourself, if nothing changed in this relationship, would I still be happy five years from now? Am I with this person because I genuinely want to be, or just because I'm afraid to leave?

Starting point is 00:24:22 Does this relationship align with my long-term vision of love, partnership, and purpose? Love begins with mattering, and that starts with you. The biggest lesson I learned from all of this, we don't need to be chosen to matter. We need to matter to ourselves first. The love we accept is a reflection of the love we believe we deserve. So if you're stuck in a relationship where you don't feel valued, seen, or secure, then

Starting point is 00:24:48 you're choosing something less than what you deserve. So here's the final question. Are you choosing love, or are you just choosing what's familiar? Love isn't a guessing game. The right person makes their feelings known through actions, not just words. A few weeks ago on the podcast in episode 573, I talked about mattering in the workplace, how great leaders create cultures where people feel valued, heard, and significant. But what about our personal lives? If we understand mattering at work, why don't we apply it to love? At work, we know that feeling invisible, unheard, or unappreciated kills motivation

Starting point is 00:25:25 and engagement. The same is true in relationships. If you constantly feel like you don't matter, the relationship will slowly erode your confidence, joy, and sense of self. So how do we rebuild mattering in love? It starts with understanding what it truly means to feel valued. We talk a lot about mattering at work, but love is no different. If you constantly feel invisible in a relationship, it's only a matter of time before you start shrinking yourself to fit in. And that's why I created this framework, to help you assess whether your relationship supports your growth or slowly erodes it.

Starting point is 00:26:01 That's why in today's episode I'm introducing the four dimensions of mattering in a relationship – a way to assess whether your relationship reinforces your value or diminishes it. Love isn't just about being in a relationship – it's about choosing one where you truly matter. And too many people settle for relationships that make them question their worth instead of reinforcing it. But love should make you more of who you are, not less. Just like in leadership and work, mattering in love has four dimensions.

Starting point is 00:26:31 The first is personal mattering. Do you feel valued as you are? And here's some questions you can ask yourself. Do I feel valued, or do I constantly question my worth? Am I showing up authenticallyically or am I shrinking myself? Dr. Tasha, you're an expert in self-awareness, says relationships often mirror our self-worth. She told me if you feel like you're disappearing in a relationship, it's not because love is supposed to be selfless. It's because you've stopped prioritizing yourself. So here's a self-check you can do. Am I adjusting my personality values or desires

Starting point is 00:27:05 just to keep the peace? Am I prioritizing their happiness at the expense of my own? Do I feel like I have to prove my worth or am I accepted as I am? And here's a truth bomb. The right person doesn't require you to shrink. They celebrate your full presence. And this brings us to the second element of the framework,

Starting point is 00:27:23 relational mattering. Do they truly see you? So here's some questions to ask yourself. Do they make me feel seen, heard, and respected? Does this relationship bring out the best version of me? Dr. Franco says relationships thrive when both partners feel valued, not just tolerated. She told me you should never have to convince someone to see your worth. Real love isn't about proving yourself, it's about being seen for who you already are.

Starting point is 00:27:51 So here's some signs you're being truly valued. Your partner listens when you express your feelings instead of dismissing them. They respect your boundaries instead of pushing them. They support your growth instead of feeling threatened by it. If someone makes you question your significance, they don't deserve access to your heart. And that is so important for you to understand. And this leads us to the third component, emotional mattering. Are you building something together? And here's some questions to ask. Are we building something real or is this relationship stuck in place? Does this relationship support my personal growth or does it hold me back?

Starting point is 00:28:31 Dr. Metcalf explains that emotional safety isn't just a feeling, it's a biological need. She told me when your brain perceives a relationship as unsafe, it sends stress signals that make you feel anxious, insecure, and emotionally exhausted. So here's some signs that you're building a real future. You don't feel like you're the only one carrying the relationship. You can express your true thoughts without fear or backlash. You feel chosen daily, not just when it's convenient for them. If love feels like an emotional roller coaster, it's not love, it's a lack of safety.

Starting point is 00:29:06 And this leads us to our last component, our future alignment. Does this relationship align with your future? So here's some questions to ask yourself. Does the relationship I'm in align with my long-term vision and values? If I stay, will I regret it five years from now. Relationship experts John Kim and Vanessa Bennett say that the biggest relationship mistake people make is choosing from fear instead of clarity. And they told me people stay in wrong relationships because they fear being alone more than they

Starting point is 00:29:38 fear being unfulfilled. So here's a long term clarity check. Would my future self thank me for staying in this relationship? If nothing changed, would I still be happy in five years? Am I staying because I genuinely love them or because I'm afraid to leave? If you can't see them in your future, they don't belong in your present. So now that you understand the four dimensions of mattering in love, I want you to take this quick self-assessment.

Starting point is 00:30:05 Give yourself a score from one to 10 for each category. One equals, I don't feel this at all, and 10 equals, this is fully present in my relationship. First, do I feel valued and seen in this relationship? Score yourself one to 10. Second, do they treat me like I matter with consistency? Are we building something real and sustainable? Does this relationship align with my future vision and my values?

Starting point is 00:30:39 If any score is below a 7, you have to ask yourself, what needs to change? You should never feel like you have to earn love. It should be freely given and deeply felt. So before we wrap up, if today's conversation resonated with you and you're ready to take action, head to the show notes. I put together an episode takeaway to help you apply these ideas in your own life. Use it as a reflection guide, a journaling prompt, or even a conversation starter, because transformation doesn't just

Starting point is 00:31:10 happen through insight, it happens through action. Love begins with mattering. Love is a choice. Make sure you're choosing wisely. The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. When you believe you matter, you make better choices in love. So often we chase people who make us feel like an option. We over explain, over give, and over compensate, all in the hope that they will see our worth. But love was never meant to be earned through effort or sacrifice. Love is something we build with someone who sees our value from the start. The difference between settling and thriving isn't one grand decision,

Starting point is 00:31:51 it's the small choices we make every day. The choice to set a boundary instead of ignoring your needs. The choice to walk away from uncertainty rather than clinging to potential. The choice to stop proving your worth and start believing in it. And this is where true love begins. Not with finding the right person, but with becoming the version of yourself who attracts the right kind of love. The person who knows that love should feel safe, not like a test. That the right relationship will bring more of you to the surface, not less. That real connection is not about convincing someone to stay, it's about being chosen freely and fully.

Starting point is 00:32:30 If you find yourself questioning whether you matter in a relationship, that is your answer. Love should never be a guessing game. The right relationship won't make you doubt your worth, it will remind you of it every single day. So where do you begin? Start small. Choose one micro action to practice this week. Perhaps say no when you mean it. Or stop justifying your needs. Let go of the person who keeps you second guessing. Begin choosing from self-worth rather than fear. The most powerful shift you can make in love isn't about finding the right person.

Starting point is 00:33:05 It's about becoming the version of yourself who refuses to settle for anything less than the love you deserve. Because the right person doesn't make you question your worth. They remind you of it every single day. And that's a wrap on today's episode. But here's the thing. this conversation doesn't end here. The way you approach love, relationships, and self-worth shapes everything. Because when you believe you matter, you stop settling, you stop chasing, you start choosing

Starting point is 00:33:38 better. So here's your challenge. Take action. If you've been waiting for someone to come around, ask yourself, am I being chosen or am I just hoping? If you've been stuck in uncertainty, have the conversation you've been avoiding. If you've been playing small in love, start showing up for yourself first. And if this episode hit home, share it. Send it to a friend who needs to hear it. Post it. Tag me. I want to know what resonated most

Starting point is 00:34:05 with you. If you want to go deeper, I don't just talk about these ideas. I bring them into organizations, teams, and communities to ignite real transformation. If you're looking for a keynote, workshop, or event that will shift how people think about relationships, purpose, and personal masteries, let's connect. Head over to JohnRMiles.com slash speaking to learn more. So coming up next on Passion Struck, I'm sitting down with Natalie Namaste, a renowned expert in self healing and emotional freedom. We're diving into how to break free from subconscious patterns, release

Starting point is 00:34:36 emotional blocks, and build the kind of self love that transforms every relationship in your life. If you've ever felt like you're repeating the same toxic cycles, this is an episode you don't want to miss. Conflict arises deep within the solar plexus chakra, so connected with the stomach, with the little fiery energy

Starting point is 00:34:56 there, it's the element of fire. One can hold opinions and really believe in their opinion, and it's their identity, it's who they are. One comes into contact with someone else who holds a different opinion. It creates such a trigger.

Starting point is 00:35:13 They feel like it's poking at them and who they are and what they believe, and you can physically feel it. And remember, you're not here just to consume content. You're here because you're investing in yourself. And that's what PassionStruck is all about. So take what you've learned today, apply it, and keep showing up for yourself,

Starting point is 00:35:31 because no one else can do that for you. And lastly, the fee for the show is simple. If you got value here, pay it forward. Leave a five-star rating, share this episode, post it, text it, whatever it takes to get this into the hands of the people who need it most. Until next time, keep choosing the things that matter, and as always, Live Life Passion-Struck.

Passion Struck with John R. Miles - The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode

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