Passion Struck with John R. Miles - What is the Secret to Diplomacy w/ John R. Miles EP 41

Episode Date: July 2, 2021

Earlier in my career, I was lucky to meet and work for Jay Skibinksi who is one of the best leaders I've ever met. Jay taught me many lessons over the years, but one of the best was understanding the secret to diplomacy. Like this? Please subscribe, and join me on my new platform for personal development: https://passionstruck.com/ Thank you for listening to the Passion Struck podcast. In this powerful Momentum Friday Episode, John R. Miles discusses what is the secret to diplomacy and provides his 5 strategies to unlocking it in both your organizational and personal life. None of us are born knowing how to be diplomatic, but the skill can be learned - and should be to make life happier and with less turmoil. New Interviews with the World's GREATEST high achievers will be posted every Tuesday with a Momentum Friday inspirational message! What is the Secret to Diplomacy? The secret to diplomacy is forging ahead on a belief or objective without inflicting calamity or unnecessarily igniting an argument. It involves a deep comprehension of the many attributes of human nature that can erode a relationship and bring about disagreement. It also is about having an obligation to addressing these with foresight and grace.   The Secret to Diplomacy Show Notes Jay Skibinski's request Honing my skills in the art of diplomacy What is the art of diplomacy Four Steps to practice the art of diplomacy Five strategies to deploy diplomacy in your life Quotes from John R. Miles "True Kindness does not mean seeming kind. It means helping those people who we're likely to confront by administering a sharp clean blow of reality to kill off all hope."   "The art of diplomacy has become one of the most important skills that we can have as a leader."   ENGAGE WITH JOHN R. MILES * Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles * Leave a comment, 5-star rating (please!) * Support me: https://johnrmiles.com * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Johnrmiles.c0m​. * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles JOHN R. MILES * https://johnrmiles.com/my-story/ * Guides: https://johnrmiles.com/blog/ * Coaching: https://passionstruck.com/coaching/ * Speaking: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking-business-transformation/ * Gear: https://www.zazzle.com/store/passion_struck   PASSION STRUCK *Subscribe to Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-passion-struck-podcast/id1553279283 *Website: https://passionstruck.com/ *About: https://passionstruck.com/about-passionstruck-johnrmiles/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/passionstruck *Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/

Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, leaders, entrepreneurs, and growth seekers of all types to the passion-struck high-pass. I am John Miles, a peak performance coach, multi-industry CEO, Navy veteran, and entrepreneur on a mission to make passion-go viral for millions worldwide. In each week, I do so by sharing an inspirational message and interviewing high achievers from all walks of life to unlock their secrets and lessons You become a passion star. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener by giving you tips, Past and activities to achieve peak performance and pursue passion driven life you've always aspired to have. Now let the journey begin. Hi, I'm John Miles and welcome to momentum Friday, an episode 41 of the Passion Start Podcast. I recently heard from a long-term friend and one of the best leaders I have ever worked for,

Chase Kubinsky, who asked me if I could do some episodes on two very important topics he thinks are not being addressed enough. And that is humility and diplomacy. So I've decided I'm going to do a series on these and they will be coming out over the next few weeks. I'm going to start out today's episode with a quote and one of my favorite from Winston Churchill who said, diplomacy is the art of pulling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions. And I think that is such a great lead in for today's discussion on the art of diplomacy. And I'm gonna start out with a short story for you.

Like many people who graduate from the Naval Academy, I was taught leadership skills and also this burning desire to take on the world. And that served me so well as I was both in my military career and then as I started my civilian career. But I will never forget this interview that I had with Bridget Morale Curran who at that time was a consultant with the search firm Hornferry. And they had been hired to do executive assessments with all the senior leadership team in the IT group at Loves Home Improvement. And I remember our discussion like it was yesterday, because at the end, she gave me one of the most important lessons I had ever had at that point in time. She said, John, what got you here

isn't going to get you where you want to go. And it took me years to understand what she was trying to tell me, which was that I needed to hone my skills in the art of diplomacy. Because diplomacy is one of the most important skills that we can have as leaders at any level. But when I often would think about a diplomat, what comes to my head immediately is someone who works in an embassy, or a politician, or a world leader. But what I've learned over time, and what I think

Chase Kaczybinski wanted you to hear about today, is that diplomacy is also vital to your career and to the relationships that you have in your life. See, diplomacy as it's defined is the art of advancing an idea or a cause without unnecessarily inflaming passion or creating a catastrophe. And how often have you seen the latter happen, both in your personal life and in your career? It happens all the time. So this really gets down to understanding the different facets of human nature.

What can undermine an agreement so conflict and not doing these with either grace, humility or foresight. The best diplomats do everything that they can to preserve the relationship so that when they have a topic that means the most to them, they have that groundwork put in place so that when the time comes, the diplomats idea becomes their idea and that is at the heart of what diplomacy is all about. Did you know that Forbes Magazine recently cited that 70% of individuals who do personal development masterminds and one-on-one coaching benefited from better work performance,

increased communication skills, and overall better relationships. And we, at PassionStruck, are obsessed with self-development, coaching, and mentorship. That is why we've created a free resource to help you unlock your hidden potential. Because people doing great things in business and life are just like you,

only they've had a coach along the way. And we've got that covered too. Let us show you the systems and frameworks that we teach, both minded individuals, to help them step into their sharp edges, execute on their passion journeys and get predictable results time and time again. Go to passionstruck.com slash coaching right now and let's get igniting. So let me give you four steps that you can use to practice the art of diplomacy. The first is to try to keep calm and keep an open mind. The second is to find out all the facts as well as what is not possible before you react to the situation at hand. The third is when communicating, listen to what the

other person or people are saying. I know that this is something that has gotten me in trouble more than once in my own career. Fourth, watch for non-verbal communication. These are things such as body language and the tone that they're using, which can convey so much about the message that they're trying to give you. And the reason that it's important to understand these four steps is that diplomacy stirs a steam. And because of that, often when you're having heated discussions, your requesting that other party is changing in some way.

It may be you're asking them to be more open-minded, less set in their convictions. But what you need to understand is that fear is what holds us back the most. And oftentimes what you're seeing on that other side is fear and potentially incompetency. And that's why when I've realized when I've had meetings with people

who are expressing those fears, where that incompetency, what you'll see oftentimes is things get heated. They'll bang their fists on the table. And the result is that they are expressing their innermost demons to you right there. And you need to take notice of it, because truth kindness does not mean seeming kind. It means helping those people we're likely to confront, by administering a sharp clean flow of reality to fill to all hope. And in doing so, the diplomat allows themselves

willingly to be the target of hate, anger, and whatever may come. That is because the diplomat is a realist and may understand that the other person is just projecting their fear and their pain. The diplomat is hopeful of mutual respect and making progress. So let me end today by giving you five strategies that you can use to deploy diplomacy in your career in your life. First, probably the most important is thank before you seek. The second is make sure you choose your words wisely. Words can cut in so many ways, and it's vital that you use them and think about what you're gonna say before you use them. Third, watch your body language. Just as you're watching theirs,

Ford never react emotionally. And fifth, instead of going on the offensive, which we are so inclined to do, hold back, and think about the deeper issue. Think about it, but small loss today and end in a huge victory over time. I hope that today's episode unpacks one of the lessons that Jay wanted me to get out there. And I hope that you will share this with like-minded friends. And if you really like it, please give it a five star rating on iTunes and subscribe to our YouTube channel

and try out our miles. Remember, make a choice to work our step into your share of edges. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make passion go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the Passion Start Podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to your podcast ad. And if you absolutely love this episode, we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes.

And you're sharing it with three of your most growth-minded friends, so they can post it as well to their social accounts and help us grow our passion start community. If you'd like to learn more about the show and our mission, you can go to passionstruck.com where you can sign up for our newsletter, look at our tools, and also download the show notes for today's episode. Additionally, you can listen to us every Tuesday and Friday for even more inspiring content. And remember, make a choice, work hard,

and step into your sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us. you