Passion Struck with John R. Miles - What Matthew McConaughey Taught Me About Showing Up w/John R. Miles EP5

Episode Date: February 26, 2021

What is the one thing that Matthew McConoughey taught me which had a profound impact on my life? It’s the importance of showing up. Matthew was a regular at our weekly congregation in Austin. He would show up unfailingly with his entire family, bring along his co-stars, and even mix freely with everyone.  This had a huge impact on my son, who was facing a particularly tough time in middle school then. Matthew also made me realize that I need to be more present for my family, irrespective of my busy professional life. In today’s show, I reveal the three things that you can do so that you can show up every single day. If you feel that you need to set your priorities right and have been unfair to your loved ones, listening to today’s show will particularly help you out. Enjoy! What You Will Learn In This Show Three Ways you can show up every single day. How to make a contract with yourself and hold yourself accountable How to manage your time in the most judicious manner And so much more… Resources The Contract With Yourself Follow John R. Miles Here: Website - https://passionstruck.com/ ​Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_life ​ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Johnrmiles.c0m ​ Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr ​ Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles John's Website: https://johnrmiles.com/ - John's New eBook - The Passion Struck Framework https://passionstruck.com/coaching/

is we are trying to build this passion-struck journey. It is so important that we show up and that we show up every single day because by showing up, we're taking action. And by taking action, we are moving closer to achieving our goals, our dreams, our aspirations of living that life that we want. And when we don't show up,

we are taking steps in an opposite direction. Welcome to the PassionStruck podcast. My name is John Miles, a former combat veteran and multi-industry CEO, turned entrepreneur and human performance expert. Each week we showcase an inspirational person and message that helps you unlock your hidden potential and unleash your creativity and leadership abilities. Thank you for spending time with me today and let's get igniting! Welcome to Momentum Friday! to momentum Friday. Author Brane Brown said,

the willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time. And Jeffrey Fry said, the formula for success is 2% talent, 8% luck, and 90% showing up every day. In this episode, I am willing to discuss the importance of showing up. Why showing up matters so much, not only in your personal life, but in your career, in your relationships, in everything that you do. And I want to discuss a story with you about Matthew McConaughey

and how him showing up had a profound impact on my family's life. I hope you will enjoy today's show. I remember in 2007, I was Vice President at Lowe's and had a whole bunch of friends who graduated from the opposing school of my Michigan Wolverines. And I was so excited about this first game of the season because once and for all all I was going to show them how great the Michigan football team was when they pounded their team into a Bolivian. And I remember it was at the big house and all expectations were on Michigan to win this game by 2025 points because they were ranked number four or five in the nation that year. And this tiny team from Boone, North Carolina shows up and out of nowhere changes the course of history.

They end up shocking Michigan on their own home field and winning that game. A subdivision team comes in and beats the number four or five ranked team in the country. And it was one of the craziest and most defining sports moments. I think I will ever remember. And one of the most embarrassing for Michigan football fans everywhere. When I think back upon that, it leads me to the origins of today's story. What happened to Michigan that day? And why did Appalachian State kick their butts? Do I thank to this state that Appalachian State

had a better team than Michigan? There is no way they did. And if you're an ASU fan out there, I'm sorry if you're saying that, but I couldn't make any argument that at the end of the season, Michigan was in a better team. But what really happened is I think Michigan started looking ahead on their schedule to

who they had to face in weeks ahead and they didn't take this game with the respect that they needed to. And what ended up happening is they didn't show up on that field. They didn't prepare properly and they weren't mentally there to take on their opponent and it cost them the game and it ended up in that one game changing the course of the entire season. And how many times does the same thing happen in life? many times does the same thing happen in life. Moments that could be life altering we fail to show up. And we don't just do it in our career.

This happens in our relationships. It happens in our relationships with our wives or partners. We don't show up because we're too busy concentrating on what we think may be urgent instead of focusing on the importance of the conversation that's right in front of us We do the same at times with our kids. We do the same at times with our friends and others and That is why I want to spend some time today talking about the importance of showing up and

Why it can have such a profound impact on your success going forward and on your passion journey. But I want to go back again to another story. At this point, I and my family had left North Carolina and we had moved to Austin. And we had moved my son at one of the most crying times I think kids go through today. And that was, he was just entering middle school. And I think in my generation, for me that profound moment was going

from middle school to high school. But I think today, as I've seen with both of my kids, middle school is the new high school experience when it comes to peer pressure, social circles, and trying to find your place in a world that is changing much more quickly than it ever changed when I was my son's age. But we were in this school district in West Lake, Texas, and he went to Hill Country Medal School, which was a huge middle school. I think they had 1,200, 1,300 kids.

And like many kids, he was trying to find his place in all these different social circles. And I remember him struggling. He was in band and I know he was getting ridiculed from some of his friends because he was doing that instead of participating in as many sports, although he was a very gifted athlete. And he was running into some of the wrong influences at that time. And I remember it was just so trying for him. And one of the things that we tried to do for him was to give him a very balanced life. And we went to church every week as a family.

And at that point, we were going to River Bend church. For those of you who are in Austin, you know what it's right there on 360 and they have a great pastor Dave Haney, one of my favorite orators I've ever been around, one of my favorite people and miss him dearly, but he would give these inspirational sermons and the other thing about that place was the music was just amazing. Like you would go in there and I remember one time hearing what I thought was Chris Tomlin and it was actually Chris Tomlin. Another time I thought it was Mack from third day and it was actually Mack playing because when these artists would come in or whatever reason River Bend was able to lure him in and

they had this huge auditorium and it was just an amazing place I thought to worship. But while we were there my son was definitely losing interest and I can tell you when I was in seventh and eighth grade. The last thing I wanted to do was to go to church myself. So you know he would go there and we would be there, and I know he dreaded it. Well, out of nowhere, a gentleman started to attend church with his wife and two young kids. And every single week, he would sit two rows in front of us in the same spot and he would come every week and he would participate and afterwards he would take his kids with this huge smile on the space

and he would put those kids on the shoulders and he would walk out of there and participate with the rest of the congregation and I remember when he first showed up, we were sitting there, and I kept staring at him because I was like, man, he looks so familiar. I can't figure it out. Because at this point, he had lost some weight, didn't look the way he normally would. So I don't think you would recognize him in the same way you would in a normal context. And I kept looking at all of a sudden I get this huge hit in my side and my ex wife says to me, what in the heck are you doing? You're screwing this up for me.

And I said, what are you talking about? I go, I know we know him. I go, what part of it go to? Or what event? How do I know him? And she goes, you idiot, that's Matthew McConaughey, and stop staring at him this second. Well, for the next 18 months, Matthew came every single week to church. And sometimes he would bring other stars. And sometimes for big events, he'd bring his whole family. And there were 20 or 30 of them. But what was amazing to me was the way he showed up. Not only did he come, like I said before, he participated. And after church,

he could do the thing that many stars would do and just walk away and go back to his house and forget about things but no he would take his kids and we'd go play on the jungle gym with them and he would go run and chase them and play basketball with them and interacted with my son as well and I I remember through that experience, my son took a completely different focus about church. And suddenly his willingness to go to church completely changed. And I think it was because of the influence that Matthew McConaughey had in the simple fact that he showed up and he participated and he actually wanted to be there and I saw my son grow so much by that experience and so you know

I thank you to Matthew McConaughey if he ever listens to this or Showing up in the way that you did because it made such a profound impact I showing up in the way that you did because it made such a profound impact. I think I'm my son and in many ways the person who he is today and on so many other people who attended that church. Are you ready to overcome your fears and start committing yourself to mastery and growth in your life and career? If you are, we're ready to help you. Go to passionstruck.com slash coaching right now, and you'll be able to download the passionstruck framework and connect with a member of our coaching team. Now, I want to talk to you about why showing up matters so much

and some steps you can take to showing up. So I remember playing Division 1 rugby at the Naval Academy and we would go through these exercises of hitting, blocking, tackling, every single day. You know, you do it without pads. that's what you do in rugby. And I found out very quickly playing that game that if you didn't show up, you were going to get your bell rang. And so it was so important to show up day in and day out on that field and to give it your all.

And I realized through that experience early on how much I grew because when you are totally showing up for something like I was for rugby, you have so much more passion about it. You perfect it so much more. You get so much more ingrained in what you're doing. And you not only ingrained in what you're doing. And you not only take it there, I showing up at rugby, I was showing up more in my classes, I was showing up more with my friends. And I can guarantee you, I was showing that more when we played other opponents on that pitch. And I had to make a difference in tackling or scoring. I was there, I was present and I was showing up. But how often in our own lives do we not show up? How many times do we fail to show up in critical moments that matter so much? I know I do it and I'm not afraid or

ashamed to say that I do. There are times where I'm in a conversation with my girlfriend or my son and daughter or someone else where they're talking to me and my mind is a million miles away. It could be on the next podcast I've got to do and preparing for it. It could be on a medical appointment I've got coming up. It could be on a workout that I didn't feel lived up to what I could be. It could be a myriad of things. It could be past trauma that I've experienced that I zone in on. But the fact of the matter is, when I should be paying attention and should be fully there, there are times I don't show up.

And I bet it happens to many of you. And it doesn't just happen there, it happens at work, when we are not giving our all, the things that could be life altering for that company or for ourselves. You know, as we are trying to build this passion-struck journey, it is so important that we show up, and that we show up every single day

because by showing up we're taking action and by taking action we are moving closer to achieving our goals, our dreams, our aspirations of living that life that we want and when we don't show, we are taking steps in an opposite direction. And I can't tell you how many times at vertical junctures when they don't think about it, people don't show up and it has such profound impact, like it did to the Michigan Wolverines. And just like I said at the beginning of this episode, 90% is about showing up. How many times have we been at a conference when we could have met someone or had a different outcome if we had showed up differently, if we were prepared to that event, if we were prepared to be there and took advantage of it, how about it work?

When we have the chance to talk to the CEO, but we don't show up and don't take advantage of it. How many times in our own life do we have opportunities that we squander because we're not showing up? If you honestly think about it and you think about the brutality of your current situation, I guarantee you're not showing up enough as you need to be. And I want to urge you to show up more because it matters so much to achieving your dreams. So here are three tips I want to give you to how you can show up every single day. The first one is I would encourage you to create a personal vision document.

I think this is one of the most important things you could do. It's something that I do. You want to lay out where do you want to be in the future. And if you don't know where you want to be, 10 years from now, that's fine. And you figure out where you want to be a year from now. Can you figure out where you want to be a month from now? Well, once you figure that out,

I would encourage you to write it down and write it down in a way that you're making a contract with yourself. I'd even go so far as laminating it. Place it somewhere where you see it every day where you can look to it as inspiration. By creating that personal contract, you are creating accountability with yourself. You're creating accountability for your daily actions and it gives you something you can refer to every day so that you can maximize the inputs that

go into it, that go into making that contract real. And if you achieve that contract, amazing, celebrate it and then create a new one. And all that pattern again and again. The second thing I would do is to tell you to conduct and audit of those things in your life that are holding you back. In an upcoming episode, I'm gonna go into this further and I call it the mosquito principle. You need to conduct and audit of those beliefs, those influences, those

people, those activities that are holding you back from being the person you can be, from showing up, from going after it, and mustering the power to do something great. This could be the bar that you go to too often. It could be the friends who tell you that you can't achieve what you're going to do because it's going to take too much work. It could be those peatas personal, it could be those peatas in your life, those pain in the asses who are distracting you from doing the things you need to do. You need to conduct and audit and get these influences, beliefs, mindsets, peoples, whatever they may be out of your

life and distracting you from showing up every single day the way that you need to show up in your life. And lastly, you need to develop a daily practice, a daily practice that can be routine, that you can get used to doing. And I would encourage you to form habits, because by forming habits, you will get better. And when you accomplish one habit, you can pick up another and another. So by developing this routine, you will set yourself up for success because you're going to start every single day by following a routine that gets you motivated for the day. And in another episode, I'm going to go over my

personal and penetrable morning routine. But for me, one of the most important things is to think about what actions that I need to take that day. They're going to help me move a step closer to achieving that contract that I established with myself. It's setting establishment for your intentions and creating intentionality in your life and not living it like a pinball. It's doing the things that matter the most for yourself, for your relationships, for your health, for your mindset, for your career. It is amazing what you can accomplish when you start picking one thing a day, two things a day to focus on.

How much more confident you will start feeling when you set that personal contract, audit out the things that aren't helping you to achieve it and set out on a daily routine to accomplish it. Pretty soon, you'll be on your way and you will be taking and executing on the actions that you need to do accomplish your goals because you are showing up. You're showing up just like Appalachian State did, just like Matthew McConaughey did, and it matters so much. It can be life-altering and I would encourage you to do the same in your own life.

Across me, I know at times it's not easy. We're tired, we're worn out. We have other things on our mind and showing up sometimes is the most difficult thing for us to do when we want to curl up and watch TV or just veg out or be a bystander and not a participant in that conference or in that meeting or whatever it may be. But I can guarantee you that if you get in a routine of showing up, it is going to change your life for the better. I hope today's message brings you encouragement. Regardless of where you are in your life, you can show up and I guarantee you it's going to make a difference. Thank you for spending time with me today. So I unpacked a lot in today's episode and I hope that what I delivered was empowering for you, will inspire you, will help you unlock your potential.

And I appreciate so much that you continue to listen to and watch this show. And I really, insincerely, want to make Hashen Goviral for each and every one of you. Thank you so much. And let's keep on igniting. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make Passion Go viral.

By sharing the knowledge and insights you can use to unlock your hidden potential. To hear more, please subscribe to the show in iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you'd love this episode we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes where if you simply tell free of your most driven and motivated friends about the show and post to your social accounts that would help us grow our PassionStruck community too. If you want more tools to unlock your potential, please make sure to also visit our website,

passionstruck.com, sign up to our email list, as well as check out all the links and resources in the show notes. Be sure to tune in on Tuesdays and Fridays for our next episodes, and remember, make a choice, work hard, and step into your sharp edges. Thanks again, and I'll see you next time. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪