Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Why is Empathy Vital to Creating a Passion Struck Life? EP 118

Episode Date: March 25, 2022

President Barack Obama said, “The biggest problem we have in our society and the world right now is a lack of empathy. We are in great need of people being able to stand in somebody else’s shoes and see the world through their eyes.” The gap that President Obama alludes to is only growing more expansive as we continually become a society consumed by self-gratitude instead of focusing on ending the suffering of others. That's why it's so important we work at being empathetic. Luckily, we can. Empathy is a cornerstone for successful relationships, but it is a quality that has to be intentional. Most people like to feel understood, but the mark of maturity is in knowing how to demonstrate understanding. In the end, the knowledge you wish to receive becomes more likely essential adjustments that will help you become a more empathetic person and living life, passion struck. Thank You to Our Sponsors: Green Chef: Go to https://greenchef.com/passionstruck130 and use code passionstruck130 to get $130 off, plus free shipping!” Ten Thousand: Go to https://tenthousand.cc and get 15% off with code PASSIONSTRUCK. Our Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/passionstruck For all sponsorship deals, go to https://passionstruck.com/deals Our Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/passionstruck Thank you for listening to this podcast. I hope you keep up with the weekly videos I post on the channel, subscribe to, and share your learnings with those who need to hear them. Your comments are my oxygen, so please take a second and say 'Hey' ;). -- ► Subscribe to My Channel Here: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles Timestamps: 0:00 Introducing empathy 2:23 Ten Thousand and Green Chef 5:31 What does it mean to be empathetic? 8:21Empathy definition and meaning. 9:24 Is empathy something that can be learned or something that we are born with? 11:51 Why is empathy important? 12:54 Is empathy a natural habit and what can I do to overcome a lack of empathy? 14:50 How is empathy given without getting overwhelmed? 15:36 How do you practice empathy? 17:00 Synthesis and conclusion Show Resources Bittersweet by Susan Cain The Compassionate Instinct by Dacher Keltner, Jason Marsh, and Jeremy Smith Be Beautiful, Be You by Lizzie Velasquez The Healthy Mind Toolkit by Alice Boyes Stress-Free Productivity by Alice Boyes Are you having trouble prioritizing yourself? John discusses where you invest your love; you invest your life in Episode 104 John explains how your environment influences who you become in episode 102. Do you know the science of healthy habits? John explores this in-depth in Episode 108. Suppose you missed our interview with Jen Bricker-Bauer on Everything is Possible. Don’t panic! You can catch up by downloading it here. Find John on the Socials: * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnrmiles.c0m * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles ​* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/milesjohn/ * Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast/ * Gear: https://www.zazzle.com/store/passion_struck/ -- John R Miles is a serial entrepreneur and the CEO and founder of Passion Struck. This full-service media company helps people live intentionally by creating best-in-class educational and entertainment content. John is also a prolific public speaker, venture capitalist, and author named to the ComputerWorld Top 100 IT Leaders. John is the host of the Passion Struck Podcast, a show focused on exploring the mindset and philosophy of the world's highest achievers to learn their lessons to living intentionally. Passion Struck aspires to speak to the humanity of people in a way that makes them want to live better, be better and impact. Stay tuned for John's latest project, his upcoming book, which will be published in summer 2022. Learn more about me: https://johnrmiles.com. New to this channel and the passion-struck podcast? Check out our starter packs which are our favorite episodes grouped by topic, to allow you to get a sense of all the podcast has to offer. Go to Spotify or https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. Like this? Please join me on my new platform for peak performance, life coaching, self-improvement, intentional living, and personal growth: https://passionstruck.com/ and sign up for our email list.  

Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders, and growth seekers of all types to the Passion Struck podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach, multi industry CEO, maybe veteran, and entrepreneur on a mission to make Passion Go viral for millions worldwide. So by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing eye achievers from all walks of life who unlock their secrets and lessons to become an action-struck. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener. By giving you tips, tasks, and activities, you can use to achieve peak performance and for too much action-driven life you have always wanted to have. Now let's become PassionStruck. Hello everyone and welcome back to Episode 118 of the PassionStruck Podcast.

And thank you to each and every one of you who comes back weekly to listen and learn, how to live better, be better, and impact the world. And if you're new to this show or you would just like to introduce it to a friend or family member, we now have Episode Starterpacks, which are collections of your favorite episodes organized by topic, which gives any new listener a great way to get adjusted to everything that we do here on the show. And you can find them both on Spotify and on our website at passionstruck.com slash starter packs.

And if you'd prefer to watch these episodes in addition to listening to them, you can go to our YouTube channel at John R. Miles where we have well over 250 different videos to give you weekly or daily doses of inspiration. Please go check it out and subscribe. Legendary actress, Merrill Street, once said, the greatest gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy.

This true statement reflects the very essence of being human and the need for us to realize and express the nature that we have been given. In today's episode, I'm going to be enlightening us on the science of this trait called empathy. It's benefits to all of us and how we can consciously and actively develop it. First, let us take a look at a relatable story of Lauren Smith and we'll use his story to help unpack today's episode. Thank you for choosing PassionStruct and choosing me to be your host and guide on creating an intentional life. Before we begin, I would like to emphasize that this podcast is part of my hope and desire to bring zero-cost information to the general public regarding how to create an intentional life. And keeping with that theme, I would like to thank the sponsors of today's episode. Thank you 10,000 for sponsoring today's episode.

Physical health is essential to me, informs the very foundation for achieving elite performance. And if you're like me, it's so hard to find trading products that are built strong enough to stand up to my hit classes, spin classes, CrossFit and Jim Days. That is why I love 10,000 apparel, and it's dedication to continuous improvement.

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10,000 is offering PassionStruck listeners 15% off your purchase. Go to 10,000.cc and enter code passion struck to receive 15 percent off your purchase. That is T-E-N-T-H-O-U-S-A-N-D dot cc and enter code passion struck. Thank you green chef for sponsoring today's podcast. With fresh produce, premium proteins, and organic ingredients, you can trust Green Chef as the number one meal kit for eating well.

I love the fact that whether you're looking for carb, conscious, gluten-free, plant-based, or calorie-conscious options, or you just wanna have delicious, balanced dishes, Green Chef has flavorful, healthy recipes that are sure to satisfy. Some of my favorite green chef recipes include salmon with chive cream sauce. It is so good.

Steak with balsamic mushrooms and my all-time favorite almond-crusted baramundi. This has saved me so much time in food prep and the food is absolutely delicious. Go to greenchef.com slash passionstruck130 and use code passionstruck130 to get $130 off and free delivery. That is greenchef.com slash passionstruck130 and use code passionstruck130 to get $130 off. Please consider supporting those who support the show

and make it possible and free for our listeners. And I know all these links can be difficult to remember so we are putting them in one communion place for you. Go to passionstruck.com slash deals. Now back to passionstruck.com slash deals. Now back to passion struck. ["Pomp and Circumstance"] Lauren Smith was a diligent young man who worked as a movie theater manager.

He loved his job and gave it his best every day, but unfortunately a global pandemic hit and people across the world were mandated by their governments to stay indoors and avoid physical contact with one another. And as those of us who have experienced this pandemic, no, movie theaters were hit about as hard as any establishment. So this caused his movie theater to be shut and resulted in him being out of work. It had now grown to four months since he had lost his job and his savings were getting drastically reduced, primarily because of his sick wife's hospital bills. She had been diagnosed with stage one cervical cancer and was undergoing chemotherapy.

Lawrence had applied for several jobs that supported work remote options, but was unable to get any so far. And on this faithful morning, he was pretty discouraged and troubled. His wife was away at the hospital and Lawrence just lay in bed, lost in thought and feeling like a failure. While he was thinking about his situation, he received an email notification. Maybe it's from one of the companies that I applied to. He thought to himself and picked up his phone to check his email. Alas, it was indeed from one of the companies in the mail-read.

Dear Lawrence, thank you for applying to our company. After reviewing your qualifications and assessing your interview, we would love to have you work with us. Congratulations. Upon reading this, Lawrence screamed out with delight. Finally, he'd gotten the break and the job he so coveted. Later that evening, he visited his wife at the hospital. And while in the waiting room, he noticed an older man

who looked very depressed and deep and thought. Comely, he approached the man and upon conversation with him, learned that he had a diabetic daughter and was finding it very financially difficult to settle her hospital bills because they were exceeding his income. Learning of this, Lawrence was deeply moved and decided to help them in any little way that he could.

He could relate to the man because he previously was frustrated himself. And now that he was grateful knowing that he had a job, he also had something he could look forward to. Here he said to the man, offering him $100 out of the 120 that were in his pocket. I hope this money does something to ease your burden. He added, and he squeezed the $100 bills into the man's hand while he gave him a hug. The man was dumbfounded that someone he had never met could be so kind. And that's when tears just started flowing down his face. Thank you. thank you, was all he

could say is he kept looking at the dollar bills and Lawrence's face back and forth in awe and appreciation. At that point an attending nurse called Lawrence so that they could both go in and see his wife. He got up, gave the man another hug and left with some further words of encouragement. Like Lawrence Smith in this story, we all can relate to points in our lives when we were at our lows and things seem to be taking turns for the worst. When things get better for us and we see others in those difficult situations, we're subconsciously stirred to do something to help improve their conditions. This usually results from our natural abilities to relate to their situations and feel how they feel, a trait identified as empathy.

This empathy allows us to internally stimulate the effective states of others and take their cognitive perspective, thereby helping us understand their experiences, needs and intentions. It plays a critical interpersonal and societal role, providing an emotional bridge that promotes pro-social behavior. It naturally leads us to having compassion for our fellow humans and goes a long way in making the world a better place for all of us to coexist. Now with that as a backdrop, let us delve into the science of this fantastic trait known as empathy. So why do we empathize? Is empathy something that we can learn or is it something that we're born with? Is it just possible that some people are innately better at empathizing? Is practicing empathy a natural habit? Let's explore the answers to all these questions. According to relevant studies, 98% of people can empathize with others.

The few exceptions are psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists who cannot understand or relate to the emotions and feelings of other people. People in the autism spectrum are another group who may have difficulty comprehending other people's feelings. However, many individuals believe that people with autism spectrum disorder may still relate to other people's emotions, albeit not in the usual sense.

The ability to perceive emotions is most likely innate and acquired unconsciously. On the other hand, empirical research reveals that empathy can be taught and increased through a variety of different methods. According to famed neuroscientist Jean de Cedys article, the neurodevelopment of empathy in humans, there is strong evidence that pro-social behaviors such as empathy and compassion originate early in life. Infants as young as 12 months old begin to comfort distress people, while 14 to 18-month-old children engage in spontaneous, unrewarding, caring acts. Dacker Keltner, a psychology professor at the University of California Berkeley, summarized in the book, The Compassionate Instinct, that we as humans are designed to respond to each other's problems with care.

And that our neuro systems hardly distinguish between our own anguish and the pain of others, but naturally react to both in the same way. In the same vein, helping others brings that same pleasure we get from gratification of personal desire. In Susan Cain's new book, Better Sweet, something that I discussed with her in an upcoming session that will come out on April 5th, her book goes into how sorrow and longing make us whole. She describes how, by realizing and acknowledging our own sorrows and longings, our natural empathy can be

deepened, and we can learn to transform our own pain into creativity, connection, and be able to turn toward each other for support and healing. So what are the importance and benefits of empathy? Empathy, compassion, and the ability to connect with others are essential skills in our personal and professional lives. They help improve human interactions in general and promote more effective communication and positive results. People who are empathetic genuinely tend to be excellent friends, attentive listeners, emotionally intelligent and generous. The following are further highlighted benefits of being empathetic. Empathy enables us to understand

people better. It helps us deal with our differences in a rising conflict more effectively. It enables us to become better friends, workers, and leaders. Empathy promotes increased cooperation and better learning. It allows us to have a much larger perspective on life. It helps us to deal with anxiety and reduce stress. It enables us to inspire others with our own compassionate actions. It promotes positive aging and better health overall, and it ultimately makes the world a much better place for all of us. So how can we go about developing empathy? Empathy was often thought throughout history to be an inborn ability that couldn't be taught. But further studies of this trait have

revealed that it can be learned and developed like other emotional intelligence for EQ qualities. We can apply ourselves and develop a stronger awareness and know-how in responding to our own and other sentiments, unlike IQ or the genes we inherit from our parents. We can even extend this form of compassionate empathy virtually, which can help bridge the gap between us and our feelings and isolation. One of the best methods to improve your empathy is to become aware of your own and others' emotions, whether they are positive or negative. Many people have become accustomed to avoiding emotions, which is why empathy is generally underdeveloped capacity in them. This can be accomplished by making everything into a joke over analyzing or physically fleeing the emotional event. Suppose we stop seeing

emotions as something to be afraid of and instead start seeing them as a significant aspect of who we are as human beings. In that case, we will naturally begin to learn more about our own and others' emotions, and empathy will become second nature to us. Furthermore, here are some things that you can do to become more empathetic in your own life. Listen and pay attention to the plight of others. Show sincere interest in the matters that concern others, including their needs,

hopes and dreams, quiet or manage your ego. Respect other people's opinions and points of view. Volunteer, your time, money and resources to better someone else. Ask questions out of curiosity and care. Read widely to open your mind to the realities of others, and lastly, practice constant gratitude. So how can we manage empathy

without getting overwhelmed? Emotional people can become overwhelmed by painful emotions like worry or rage because they genuinely feel with their friends and those around them are going through. They have a proclivity to adopt other people's troubles as their own and find it difficult to create boundaries for themselves and say no, even when they are being asked to do too much. To avoid falling down the spiral, here are some steps that you can take.

Set healthy boundaries by saying no when you can't handle more work from others. Focus on your inner self, prioritize your health and happiness and peace to ensure nothing tamperes with them. Journal to ease off boredom some thoughts, spend time and nature to get refreshed. So how can you apply today's lesson to your life? According to former president Barack Obama, the biggest problem we have in our society and the world right now is the lack of empathy. We are in a great need of people being able to stand in somebody else's shoes and see the world through their eyes. And just as that quote says, empathy isn't something that many individuals practice naturally.

Our fast-paced society rarely encourages us to slow down and interact with others and truly are in ourselves. As a result, we must deliberately decide to practice empathy, and the more we do, the more intuitive it will become. Working to improve our inherent capacities to empathize is vital to developing individual, community, national, and international lengths if we were to progress towards a more empathetic society and a more compassionate world. As the Dalai Lama so succinctly said,

love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive. Therefore, it is imperative that we consciously work to become more empathetic and compassionate people. Only then will we have a world where we all so dream of being a part of a world that is filled with love and peace that allows everyone of its inhabitants the opportunity to thrive.

So go on and practice empathy and compassion today and always. And thank you again for taking the time to tune in to today's episode. And if there is one like today on a different topic that you would like to hear me discuss, you can reach out to me on email at momentum friday at passionstruck.com. Or if there's a guest you would like to see me interview, a question you might have for me, or just a general comment, you can leave it on Instagram at John Armiles or contact

me on LinkedIn at John Miles. And I just wanted to also let you know about some of the incredible guests that we have upcoming. If you missed earlier in this week, we had on Admiral Tim Gallaudet, who is the former Undersecretary of Commerce and Acting Director of NOAA, a great episode on leadership during turbulent times and how he took that agency forward. We also have Susan Kane, who I brought up in today's episode, coming up on April 5th, to use our podcast to release her new book, Better Sweet. We also have astronaut Nicole Stott, New York Times best selling author, Brett Chinruven,

Admiral James Stavridis, Jordan Harvinger, and many, many other amazing guests. Thank you for always supporting us. Those five star reviews that you're giving us are so important and we now have over 4,000 of them. Thank you so much for helping our movement grow. Now go out there and live life passion struck. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make passion go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the Passion Start Podcast on Spotify, iTunes,

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