Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Why Materialism Is Impacting Your Success and Happiness EP 96

Episode Date: January 7, 2022

It is so easy to fall into the trap of materialism. The attraction is all around us. But it is now believed that by minimizing attachment to material possessions, you naturally allow more room for happiness and abundance to flow into your life, instead of greed, apathy, and ego. John explains how he fell into the materialism trap and why it eventually led to depression, anxiety, apathy, and a failure to live intentionally. He goes into the psychology of materialism and how social media and the people we surround ourselves with influence our beliefs and behaviors. He discusses in this video why you need to focus on the intangibles in life if you want to have success, happiness, and good health. New to this channel and the passion-struck podcast? Check out our starter packs which are our favorite episodes grouped by topic, to allow you to get a sense of all the podcast has to offer. Go to https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. Like this? Please subscribe, and join me on my new platform for peak performance, life coaching, and personal growth: https://passionstruck.com/. Thank you for Watching the Passion Struck podcast. New Interviews with the World's GREATEST high achievers will be posted every Tuesday with a Momentum Friday inspirational message! Learn more about John: https://johnrmiles.com. SHOW NOTES 0:00 Show Introduction 2:52 The rise of consumerism 6:00 The psychology of materialism 8:24 Symbolic Self-Completion 9:48 The role social media plays 11:51 The importance of intangible things ===== FOLLOW JOHN R. MILES ON THE SOCIALS ===== * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnrmiles.c0m * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/JohnMiles * Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast   ====== ABOUT JOHN ====== John R. Miles leads a global movement called Passion Struck. He is passionate about being the catalyst who helps individuals expand into the most excellent version of themselves, unlocking the most no regrets life possible. He is a combat veteran, multi-industry CEO, successful entrepreneur, top podcast host, and author who is helping people worldwide regain their passion. John is one of the most-watched, quoted, and followed high-performance trainers globally, and his leadership acumen spans more than two decades. He's founded or co-founded more than half a dozen successful start-ups, was a Fortune 50 CIO and CISO, mentors rising entrepreneurs, and invests in successful tech ventures. He graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy, where he learned vital leadership skills and was a multi-sport Division 1 athlete.

Welcome back to the Passion Struck Podcast and thank you each and every one of you who comes back weekly to listen and learn to live better, be better and impact the world. And if you're new to the show or you would like to introduce it to a friend or family member, we now have starter packs. These are collections of your favorite episodes organized by topic, and it gives a new listener or even one who's been here in long time a great way to get acquainted to everything that we do here on the show. And also if you haven't been there before please visit our YouTube channel at JohnRMiles where we have over 7,000 subscribers and 225 different videos all aimed at giving you inspiration. Today's fan of the week is Jacqueline, who on January 1st wrote about my recent episode

with futurist, Chet W. Cess, and his 10 predictions for 2022. She says, love this podcast. This is one of the podcasts I eagerly await and listen to. Love the subject matter and the humanity in which it is discussed. I also love the banter between the host and guest.

Keep doing what you're doing, please. Thank you so much, Jacqueline, and thank you to all of you who have left us reviews over the past year. We're now up to over 3,600 of them, and it helps so much grow the popularity of this show. This is my first solo episode of the new year, and I made a commitment that I was going to start using my voice in a stronger and more compelling way

over the coming year and talk about subjects that I feel are impacting many of us from becoming our best selves. Today, I'm gonna talk to you about materialism and why the pursuit of tangibles, instead of life's intangibles, is undermining your success, happiness, and health. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me

to be your host and guide on your journey to living a no regrets life. Now, let the journey begin. Welcome Visionaries, graders, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders, and growth seekers of all types to the PassionStruck podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach, multi industry CEO, Navy veteran, and entrepreneur on a mission to make Passion Proviral for millions worldwide.

And each week I do so by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing high achievers from all walks of life who unlock their secrets and lessons to become an action-struck. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener by giving you tips, tasks, and activities you can use to achieve peak performance and for too much action-driven life you have always wanted to have. Now let's become a passion-struck. The desire to flaunt off material things has become a significant part of today's society. We see influencers all over social media who are promoting luxurious products or services and telling

the audience, regardless of all the privileges I have, it isn't enough. People all around us spend frivolously on unnecessary things, from leasing ultra high-end cars to undergoing unnecessary cosmetic surgery, wearing designer shoes and clothing, or sporting a Louis Vuitton purse or fancy Rolex watch. These are based on a flawed value system that rewards a perception of wealth and possessions as increasing social standing. However, it's simply incongruent to try and impress somebody and that the same time be warmly connected with them. Perhaps I am just casting my biases, but there is a large body of psychological research

supporting these preconceptions. It defines the psychology of materialism as a value system that is preoccupied with possessions and the social image they project. The research implies that materialism, a trait that can play both the rich and the social image they project. The research implies that materialism, a trait that can plague both the rich and the poor is self-determental and socially destructive. It shatters the happiness and peace of mind of those who succumb to it. There is nothing wrong with wanting the best luxuries in life.

To some degree, a lot of us partake in consumer culture and valuable tangible possessions, and that's perfectly fine, but they should never be what you orient your life's goals around and be your driving force. Materialism is a slippery and desperate path that leads to apathy, hopelessness, anxiety, and depression, ushering in negative impacts on well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life. And I know this firsthand because I was living this materialistic and unfulfilled life. I told myself that tangible things were my rewards for working hard and moving up the ladder.

So I purchased large homes. I had five cars and ATVs in the garage, an extensive wine and bourbon collection, designer clothing, and more watches, toys, and gadgets than I knew what to do with. I even remember spending a significant portion of a family vacation in Paris, France, helping my ex-wife find the designer purse she could show off to her friends when she returned. It was entirely out of control. I was living the lie that our measure of success is determined by the size of our salaries and the quality and price of the material goods we buy. I was wearing a mask projecting who I thought society wanted me to be instead of being authentically me. And what did it bring? I experienced numbness, apathy, depression, and anxiety. It caused me to lose my passion and focus

on serving others and positively impacting society. Why did this happen to me? And why is this psychology of materialism plaguing so much of society? When people base their value system on materialistic things, they center their self-worth and self-esteem on rewards and praise of others. It's called the endowment effect in behavioral economics, and is the belief that when things become ours, they become more valuable to us than their value to other people. And then when that happens,

we start thinking about materialistic objects as an extension of our identity and create an expectation that will achieve some level of satisfaction possessing them. This materialistic value system is causing us to live in a world where so many people become hardened and lose access to who they truly are. We put off living trying to be someone we are not

because of what the damage world tells us we should be. In an American Psychological Association article, David G. Myers, the author of the American Paradox, spiritual hunger in an age of plenty, wrote, compared with their grandparents, today's young adults have grown up much more affluent, slightly less happy, and in much greater risk if depression and assorted social pathology. Most of us have this intrinsic desire to be happy and feel that materialistic things, whether they be cars,

jewelry, designer clothing, or something else represent the output of our hard work. But our desire for tangible goods and wealth wasn't driven by adversity, but by our own inner discontentment. We are becoming more convinced that we can buy our way to happiness and that acquiring material goods will lead to fulfillment and well-being. So it just leads me to ask you a few questions. Is there any need for you to purchase that luxury vehicle? Or is the one you have enough for your needs? When your closet is already packed to the brim, do you have to really buy another purse, watch or pair of Prada or Dolcea Gabbana shoes? We become obsessed with comparing, accumulating and acquiring instead of creating, helping, and adventuring. When you have more, you spend more. And between all that, you forget

the difference between want and need. So why do so many people around the world fall prey to this? One theory that answers this question is based on the pioneering work of Kurt Lewin and his collaborators, Ra Wyclin and PM Galt Wadzer. It's called symbolic self-completion and refers to having or seeking social symbols of achievement regarding a goal meaningful to oneself identity. The theory suggests that if an individual engages

in completing a self-defining goal, such as achieving a role like becoming a lawyer or an attribute like intellect, that individual will seek symbols of completeness. Socially, recognized indicators that one has achieved that goal. The symbolic self-completion theory also suggests that goal-striving behavior can help explain the desire for cosmetic surgery, impulsive shopping, and the need for more tangible possessions. The theory and research reveal that those who achieve an important domain yet feel inadequate may be boastful, less inclined

to admit mistakes, and more likely to display degrees and awards. And according to Australian research from the 1990s, type A behaviors, including aggression and competitiveness, sheer common characteristics with materialistic values, and a possession-based definition of success. So what is influencing all this materialism? Social media plays a significant role in making people victims of the desire to place their worth on materialistic things.

Brands make products and advertise them in such a way that convinces you into thinking that you can't live without them. Things just keep piling up and you find yourself accustomed to them and wanting more. According to a survey by the Harvard Group, 86% of respondents said today's youth are too focused on buying and consuming things.

And 58% describe most American children as very materialistic. Maybe that's because an average American is wealthier than 99% of the global population. And the millennials and gen-zers grew up living with entitlement. Significant parts of the global population are convinced that wealth leads to happiness, and social media has a lot to do with this growing belief. According to psychologists, Ava Green and Kathy Charles, people higher in entitlement may also seek prestige. Broadly, more entitled people pursue chronic goals to construct and defend their positive self-image. These goals could be fulfilled by receiving the deferral,

respect, and admiration from others that come with prestige. Money is essential. It can most certainly help you achieve your goals, make your future, and your life easier. But at the end of the day, just having wealth doesn't guarantee your fulfillment and happiness. The chase after the tangible can make you lose your identity guarantee your fulfillment and happiness. The chase after the tangible can make you lose your identity, morals and perspective. These negative aspects keep stacking up

until you're completely lost and feel the numbness, depression, helplessness and ego plaguing so many in society today. I don't mean that you shouldn't completely ignore the tangibles in life, but you don't have to sell your soul for them. So now let's talk about the importance of intangible things. It is a surefire path to misery and mediocrity when you evaluate yourself with what you have instead of who you are.

Think of it this way. Whatever you earned are earning or will earn doesn't belong to you. You came to this world empty handed. Your belongings and your body will be recycled in return to nature. So what do you want to be remembered for? The wealth that you built up or the impact you made on others and society. In his book, The High Price of Materialism, Tim Kaser writes, materialism derives from a motivational system focused on rewards and

praise. autonomy and self-expression derive from a motivational system concerned with the expression of interest, enjoyment, and challenge in doing things for their own sake. It's vital to set goals and achievements in life, but how you earn them matters. Is sacrificing your value, self-esteem, self-confidence, faith and reputation worth you achieving your materialistic goals? It essentially devouchs your soul, mine, passion,

and heart to gaining tangible items versus achieving self mastery and positively impact in the world. That is why you need to take the route filled with intangible things towards fulfilling your goals. As W. C. Clementsstone said, your most precious valued possessions in your greatest powers are invisible and intangible. No one can take them from you.

You and you alone can give them. You will receive abundance for your given. What is something you do to be more focused on the intangibles? Find out if you buy all the unnecessary things because you're insecure and you use your possessions to impress others or is it something else. When you always want to have better than you own, you were left with constant dissatisfaction and get robbed of your inner peace. It's like you're on the side of a mountain,

always looking up and being what is up there and who is up there at the top. Regardless of the consequences and compromises, you do all it takes to get up there to be on that peak, so you can be one of them. And when you're there, you look further up and to get up there to be on that peak, so you can be one of them. And when you're there, you look further up and say, I have to go higher. Wanting to be the most privileged and conform to what this world is conditioning you to be, is like climbing an endless ladder. It's there waiting for you to lose your balance and fall.

When you compromise your relationships, friendships, morals, values, and true identity, you lose your balance in life and fail to find fulfillment. I urge you to stop looking outwardly for fulfillment and start looking inwardly. Be grateful for what you have in the incredible superpowers you possess. See the smiles on the faces of those who have solid self identities and ask yourself, why are they happy? The answer you will find is straightforward. They are more focused on the intangible aspects of life and are satisfied with what they are and what they have. And that is what I call true success. As Albert Switzer said, success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. Life starts to lose meaning when we care about what we want,

more than what we need, and who we can help. Additionally, the main problem that society faces today is the planet's future. And while there are many causes of climate change, a major one is the relentless pursuit and overconsumption of tangible things that we don't really need. What changes will you make today to take back your life and positively impact others by focusing on the intangibles in life?

Thank you for spending time with us today on the Passion Start podcast. And I hope this was truly a meaningful episode for you and that you learned something valuable from it. And if there is a guest that you would like to see me interview or a topic that you want to hear me discuss in more detail, please DM me on Instagram at JohnRMiles or you can go to LinkedIn and find me at John Miles and reach out to me there. I appreciate so much you joining us on this journey of helping people learn to live with intention and become their best self-realized self. Thank you so much again for joining us and remember

to be better, live better, and impact the world. Until next week. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make Passion Go viral. And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more, please subscribe to the Passion Start podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to your podcast ad. And if you absolutely love this episode, we'd appreciate a five-star rating on iTunes,

and you sharing it with three of your most group-minded friends, so they can post it as well to their social accounts and help us grow our passion-struck community. If you'd like to learn more about the show and our mission, you can go to passionstruck.com where you can sign up for our newsletter, look at our tools, and also download the show notes for today's episode. Additionally, you can listen to us every Tuesday and Friday for even more inspiring content. And remember, make a choice, work hard, and step into your sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us.

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