Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Why You Need To Stop Playing Small w/ John R. Miles EP 47

Episode Date: July 23, 2021

In this powerful Passion Struck podcast episode, John R. Miles breaks down why we need to stop playing small and instead play big. He goes through what it means to play small vs playing big and 7 skills you can use to play big and live a no regrets life. Why So Many Are Playing Small in Their Life Did you know that Two-thirds of Brits and over seventy percent of Americans feel they are living an unfulfilled life, according to new research? When we are not living to our full capability, it is the very definition of playing small in our life. That is why it is so vital that we start playing big and living a no regrets life. Despite an overwhelming majority of people saying they have a bucket list, most of us have only ticked off between one and five items on it. That is because we fall into the trap of security, comfort, and fear. Those things holding us back from living the passion-driven life we are meant to live. In this episode, you will understand why it is so detrimental to play small and the criteria for doing so. Also, what it means to play big and how that can have a profound impact on your happiness. New Interviews with the World's GREATEST high achievers will be posted every Tuesday with a Momentum Friday inspirational message! Enjoy!!   PLAYING SMALL SHOW NOTES How dare I play small What does playing small mean? Why do we play small? What is playing big? Skills for playing big How to pursue your bucket list today Being grateful for life ENGAGE WITH JOHN R. MILES * Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles * Leave a comment, 5-star rating (please!) * Support me: https://johnrmiles.com * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Milesjohnr * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Johnrmiles.c0m​. * Medium: https://medium.com/@JohnRMiles​ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles JOHN R. MILES * https://johnrmiles.com/my-story/ * Guides: https://johnrmiles.com/blog/ * Coaching: https://passionstruck.com/coaching/ * Speaking: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking-business-transformation/ * Gear: https://www.zazzle.com/store/passion_struck PASSION STRUCK *Subscribe to Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-passion-struck-podcast/id1553279283 *Website: https://passionstruck.com/ *About: https://passionstruck.com/about-passionstruck-johnrmiles/ *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion_struck_podcast *LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/passionstruck *Blog: https://passionstruck.com/blog/    

Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, entrepreneurs, leaders, and growth seekers of all types to the Passion Struck Podcast. Hi, I'm John Miles, a peak performance coach, multi industry CEO, Navy Veteran, and entrepreneur on a mission to make Passion Go viral for millions worldwide. do so by sharing with you an inspirational message and interviewing high achievers from all walks of life to unlock their secrets and lessons to become an action star. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener by giving you tips, tasks and activities you can use to achieve peak performance and for two, a passion-driven life you have always wanted to have now. Let's become PassionStruck. Welcome to a Mentum Friday, an episode of the PassionStruck Podcast, which is now ranked in the top 0.5% of all podcasts globally.

Thank you so much, all our viewers and listeners are making fashion go viral for millions worldwide. We couldn't be doing any of this without your support and it means so much to me. I recently did a podcast episode with Trav Bell where we discussed the importance of creating a bucket list. And during our conversation he said a, which inspired today's episode. He said, bro, dare, I play small. Bro, dare, I don't go as big as I possibly can. And that got me thinking, what does it mean to play small? And why do so many of us decide to play small in our own lives? What are the consequences that happen if you do both short-term and long-term? I thought I would unpack all of that and more.

In today's episode, and our continuing shows that are focused on diplomacy and humility, this ties right in into those topics precisely. So what does it mean when we play small? When we are playing small, we are living our life in a state of fear. Our actions become motivated by our low self-worth. That need for outside validation are owned insecurities that desire for temporary comfort and avoiding those influences at all costs that cause us to stress or trepidation. Playing small is actually the opposite of becoming passion struck. It is being in a state of indifference and living your life in an existence without passion. It is settling for life that is okay, but not great, existing, but not feeling fulfilled. It is dismissing the very essence of what we want in life to maintain our current comfort zones of security, acceptance, and control. Playing small is living a life full of regrets because when we play small, we avoid the actions,

mindsets, and other shifts. We need to achieve living a life that unleashes our creativity and our full capabilities. So why do we play small? Well, I'll give you an example from my own personal life. So I can personalize this for you. I lived my life with a real and constant struggle to speak from my heart and let my true self and convictions be known.

A bit part of this for me was hiding from my underlying symptoms caused by post-traumatic stress disorder and having multiple traumatic brain injuries. And both of those caused me tremendous issues with cognitive abilities and not being able to think as quickly as I would like to or as others do on their feet. Instead of conversing, I would usually remain silent, as I would search for words to use as those conversations with flashbinding. Because of my insecurities, I buried my truth from the world. I thought to myself, I don't want to be a burden on other people. I don't want to let my secret out. I don't want to feel embarrassed if I forget my words or lose my track of thoughts.

But I found my insecurities are not unique. They may be my own. And we each have those things that cause us to have fear. In fact, a recent 2019 Gallup survey that I've mentioned on the show before illustrates this point in a huge way. That survey found that only 15% of the world's full-time employees are engaged in their job and actually living the life that they want. That means that the other 85% are playing it small. And don't get me wrong, there is great value and humility.

And making space for others. But that's not what this is about at all. Playing small is not humility. White contrary, playing small is an act of selfishness. It is living life with a set of underlying limiting beliefs and assumptions that drive our actions. And that's just as I was doing. I was limiting myself from achieving my own full capabilities. So then you may ask, if that's plain small, what does it mean to play big? I contrast to plain small, plain big is living a no-recrat life. It is existing in a high state of performance where we live to our true capabilities and aspirations. It is the willingness to face short-term discomfort head on. Knowing there will be risk and uncertainty and running towards it instead of running away or just staying put. It is persevering nevertheless. It is the very definition of what it means to become passion struck. It is feeling so passionate about your life and having the willingness

to choose to pursue it and implementing the steps and taking the actions that are necessary to achieve it. It is that essence of feeling alive, experiencing a great love of self and others with a sense of confidence and accomplishment. It ends up bringing feelings of greater freedom and a deep understanding of self. Did you know that Forbes Magazine recently cited that 70% of individuals who do personal development masterminds and one-on-one coaching, benefited from better work performance, increased communication skills, and overall better relationships.

And we, at PassionStruct, are obsessed with self-development, coaching, and mentorship. That is why we've created a free resource to help you unlock your hidden potential. Because people doing great things in business and life, are just like you, only they've had a coach along the way. And we've got that covered too. Let us show you the systems and frameworks that we teach, both minded individuals, to help them step into their sharp edges, execute on their passion journeys and get predictable results time and time again.

Go to passionstruck.com slash coaching right now and let's get igniting. So how do we start playing big in our lives? How do we take those steps that we need to if we want to become passionstruck? If we want to live it big, I'm going to give you seven that have worked for me and work for countless others that I've coached over the years. But first skill is that you need to envision the experience. Invision the experiences you want most in your life to feel accessible, love, connected, and living your life with peace of mind mind that you're living a no regrets life. In vision how you will feel when your vision becomes your reality and let your experiences along the way being service of this. Don't think of your plan in a linear sense. Be willing to change your

life plan for your experiences. Second, you need to face the brutal reality of whatever it is that is holding you back. I did an earlier podcast on this very topic. In fact, it was the first podcast after my origin episode I ever did. And I used Vice Admiral Jim Stockdale as the example in it, because just as he had to face the brutal

reality of living in the Pinoy Hilton during the Vietnam War, we too need to face whatever fears and obstacles that are holding us back. It is vital that we stop pointing fingers at others and instead focus on how we will change. We must acknowledge our problems. That's ourselves what we want out of life. What do we want and what doesn't mean to live without regret? And then take action. But it only starts when you face the brutal reality

of whatever is happening in your life today. Third, you've got to prioritize your plan. Once you envision the experiences you want in life, you've got to prioritize your plan. Once you envision the experiences you want in life, you've got to start prioritizing them. No one does everything on their life plan or bucket list in an hour, a day, a week, even a year. This is all about what I call action stacking. By prioritizing your actions, you can sequence them

in the way that allows you to take progress on them. You can do that sequencing or prioritization based on what's important, unmomentum, or whatever it may be that gets you closer to your goals. The fourth skill is to stop living for the urgent. We live today in a frantic state of mind, of not being present in those moments that can be life altering. We live in a state of urgency instead of taking a moment to calm down our state of mind. And I recently watched a movie on Amazon Prime

called The Sound of Metal. And it was about a heavy metal drummer who loses his hearing. And he was living a life of drugs, of being on the road all the time, of constant urgency, of wanting to live this party rocker lifestyle. But one of the things that his deafness

eventually brought him was silence on the ability to finally calm his state of mind. It fundamentally comes down to a choice between our old or current life and that life we want so much to achieve. The fifth skill is not being a visionary arsonist to your dreams. How often do we come up with life changing ideas or aspirations only to burn them down

through our actions or often our inactions when we don't pursue them? Whether intentionally or unintentionally we create our own fires that burn down the very actions that we need to take to start living our lives differently. We become visionary arsonists in our careers and our personal lives and our relationships. And that's why it is vital for you to recognize when you are lighting that match or taking that step that could burn down all that it is you want to achieve. The sixth skill is to take responsibility. We are responsible for our own happiness. No one is going to create it for us.

And if we think that is the case, we will forever be dependent on others to bring us fulfillment. This is a powerless victim mentality. Instead, put the focus on what you truly want and take personal responsibility for achieving it. This likely means that you're going to have to do that mosquito audit I talk about. And you're going to have to audit out the people, the influences, and the habits, those self-limiting things that are keeping you stuck where you are today. And lastly, and maybe most importantly, you need to love yourself unconditionally. This starts with showing kindness to yourself because if you're not kind to yourself, if you don't love yourself, there's no way you can serve others. It is a giant trap to attach our self-worth and our well-being to our accomplishments,

our ego, and what other people think. When we have a negative self-image, it can create so much self-doubt that destroys everything we care about and aspire to be. It is vital for you to understand that your most important relationship is with yourself. And that is why it is so vital for you to be your own best ally. Let go of that idea that you will enjoy your bucket list someday. It is up to you to alter your mindset and live your life plan now.

It is time to tap into that brutal reality of your past or your current situation and realize that neither defines you and that you are part of something larger in the universe. A universe where if you set your mind to it, you can achieve anything you want in life. Realize your life is not based on short-term comfort. Rather, it is the sum of your hopes, your dreams, your goals, and aspirations. Slow down, relax, and be grateful for what you have in life. Joseph Campbell, an American professor of literature, probably said it best,

the privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. Stop listening to your inner critic and start playing it big. We only get one shot at this life. It is time for you to take that shot at becoming Passion Struck and living it big. It's time for you to make a choice, do the work and step into your sharp edges. Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make Passion Go viral.

And we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden potential. If you want to hear more please subscribe to the Passion Start podcast on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher or wherever you listen to your podcast ad. And if you absolutely love this episode we'd appreciate a five star rating on iTunes and you sharing it with three of your most growth-minded friends so they can post it as well to their social accounts and help us grow our passion start community. If you'd like to learn more about the show and our mission you can go to passionstruck.com

where you can sign up for our newsletter, look at our tools and also download the show notes for today's episode. Additionally, you can listen to us every Tuesday and Friday for even more inspiring content. And remember, make a choice, work hard, and step into your sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us. you