Patrick and the People - 12/12/2024 XFL Jim's Weekly Roundup on PATP (Segment Only)

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

XFL Jim covers the world of football and looks into his magic crystal to bring you his college football predictions and NFL playoff scene.

Hello, folks. XFL Jim here to give you the Weekly Roundup. Today, we're going to get down with it sensual style. We, of course, begin with college football. We had many conference championship games over the weekend, and it was very exciting, first of all. I just need to get that out of the way. The playoffs are set, The bowl games are set. But let's start by looking backwards.

Ohio, the Bobcats, finally get a MAAC win over Miami. It was a great game. Not really. A bunch of the conference games were actually super blowouts. Ohio dominated. Shout out to Timothy Chalamet for calling that one. Jacksonville State over Western Kentucky. More domination. Rich Rod is looking, oh, vintage. shall and may for calling that one jacksonville state over western kentucky more domination rich

rod is looking oh vintage vintage rich rod here marshall dominating over louisiana over the cajuns thundering her let's go hurt the marshall is in such a weird position where their coach is doing they just won the conference and they're still probably gonna fire their coach like they still don't want him there. The brass, I guess. The players obviously still want him, but it's a weird situation in Marshall. Army over Tulane. Great season for Army.

11-1. They got Navy coming up. It's going to be one of the biggest Army-Navy games I can remember. UNLV loses. They fall to Boise State for a second time. Boise State cements themselves into the playoffs with that win. It's like getting that dub, winning the Mountain West. Arizona State takes down Iowa State.

A game for a good chunk of it. But Kenny Dillingham and the Sun Devils turn it on. The moment was too big for Iowa State. That's what it felt like in the second half. The moment was just way too big for them. Clemson gets it done over SMU. SMU came back to making a game, but Clemson came out with a big plan.

Shout out Cade Clubnet. He looked like a legit quarterback here. And hey, ACC, Georgia over Texas. Georgia just, they win the SEC championship games when it's not Alabama. This is just a thing that happens consistently all the time. And Texas, now, against the only ranked opponent on their schedule, has lost both times.

That is zero ranked wins for Texas. And then finally Penn State, Oregon. The Ducks get it done. Penn State, it was a loss. It was a loss. But this is still James Franklin's, I think, best coaching in a loss that I have seen from James Franklin. And there's been plenty of times. Plenty of times I've seen it happen.

Now, as we look forward, we have the playoffs before us. We have going from 1 to 12. We have Oregon, Georgia, Boise State, Arizona State, Texas, Penn State, Notre Dame, Ohio State, Tennessee, Indiana, SMU, and Clemson. Those are your playoffs. I'm going to kick it over to Wizard Jim to give you the Garages playoff prediction. 100% accurate, I hear. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Hello, Wizard Jim. Tis I, Wizard Jim, master of all, mystical. Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho Looking to the future of what you and me and give you the college football playoff.

Beginning, of course, as I look into Clemson and Texas, two teams that many say do not deserve to be in the spot that they are. I have Texas overcoming the Tigers of Clemson. SMU to Penn State now. Oh, oh I see before me, do I see it? I see SMU falling in the cold, a sad day. Indiana and Notre Dame, it only makes sense for the true team of Indiana, the Hoosiers, to get a win over the fighting Irish.

Oh, this one, Tennessee at Ohio State. This, oh, oh, it pains me. But Ohio State will be victorious. Into the second round, I have Arizona State and Texas. Into the second round, I have Arizona State and Texas. The Sun Devils. The Sun Devils will do it. They will defeat the Longhorns of Texas and claim their spot in the semifinals.

Boise State and Penn State. Oh, it hurts. It hurts. It hurts. But as good as he is, Aston Jenty will fall to the Nittany Lions and Penn State will move forward. Georgia Indiana. I see before me a bulldog. A bulldog placed on his throne. Georgia will win.

And Oregon versus Ohio State. We know how round one went. It was so close. But a duck call calls to me. Oregon for the win. Oregon-Arizona State. A Pac-12 matchup in the second finals, what we've all wished for. Oregon will get the win, and Penn State-Georgia, this is finally where the Nittany Lions fall. Georgia-Oregon is your national championship game and the Pac-12 laughs in the void, everywhere and nowhere,

the Oregon Ducks are your 2024 to 2025 National Champions. Back to you, XFL Jim. What's up? A few other bowl games to be excited about. We have the Duke's Mayo Bowl, Minnesota versus Virginia Tech. We have the Dukes Mayo Bowl, Minnesota versus Virginia Tech. I'm mostly excited to see the potential of P.J. Fleck getting dumped in mayonnaise. I think as far as coaches getting dumped in mayonnaise go, P.J. Fleck is probably in my top four.

We also have the Texas Bowl, Baylor versus LSU, all offense, no defense. Depending on opt-outs, especially for LSU, but it should still be fun no matter what. Also, you'll probably get to see a mad Brian Kelly. And number three, the Reliaquest Bowl, Michigan versus Bama. You talk about opt-outs. Talk about the opt-out bowl. This is what you're going to see. Michigan will have barely anybody out there.

Alabama will barely have anyone out there. It's going to be sloppy. It's going to be gross. It's going to be grimy. But those are three bowls that I am very excited to see. And, you know, pinstripe bowl, just because I'm a Nebraska guy. But it'll be fun. I've never played Boston College before. It'll be fun.

Bowl season is always a great time. I will never understand people saying there's too many bowls. More football, just give it to me. I will never understand people saying there's too many bowls. More football. Just give it to me. I will consume it. Syrup, the lifeblood of Canadian soil. It's what gives us our strong, beautiful, flowing chest hair. What keeps our women pure. What keeps our men driven as the snow! This syrup is a beautiful thing. You can pour it on anything. Steaks, pancakes, waffles, toast, your feet, and much, much more. It is the beauty of the maple tree, our tree, Canada's tree, that gives us this beautiful,

wonderful liquid. Moving on to the National Football League, we take a look back at week 14 the playoffs are kind of getting set in stone as we speak congratulations to the chiefs bills eagles and lions for locking it up um we start off with the dolphins and the jets sunday morning it was a thriller dolphins were kind of playing around here but this is the best game we've seen from Aaron Rodgers so far this season. It was electric. It did go to overtime,

but it somehow still felt like the Dolphins were doing almost anything they wanted. Vikings, they don Kirk Cousins. They bend the man over. They take him to pound town and they don't let up. Sam Darnold and the Vikings, they are announcing that people are forgetting about this team. They're legit.

They are a contender. There's so many people out there still waiting for Sam Darnold to like turn back into a pumpkin. I don't know if it's going to happen. I legitimately do not know. Rams, Bills shoot out 44-42. The Rams get it done. This was such beautiful football.

Josh Allen, just an amazing sight to behold. I can only imagine the hog on that guy. It was just glorious. Three rushing touchdowns, three passing touchdowns, and an L for the Bills. Crazy factor. Block punt. This game had it all. And also a super boneheaded decision by Doug McDermott at the end to, like,

do a tush push with a minute. I don't know, man. I really don't know how he's squandering the immense talent that is Josh Allen. And that alone should be a fireable offense to me. Okay, so the playoff picture as it stands. We have, as I said, the Chiefs and Bills locked in the AFC, the Lions and Eagles in the NFC. Now, as we talk about in the hunt,

I'm going to go through some percentages for you. So if you like numbers, stay tuned. The Steelers 99%, Texans 96%, Ravens 97%, Chargers 89%, and the Broncos 77%. It sounds like the AFC is basically locked up. Yeah, the Dolphins are still technically in there, but I just don't see any one of these teams not getting in. For the NFC, it's a little bit shakier, but not much. You have the Seahawks at 65%, the Bucks at 71%, Vikings at 99%, the Packers at 96%, the Commanders at 80%. Now, there's some room in there for a team like maybe the Rams can get back into it. It feels like the Cardinals are basically out of it. Obviously, I don't think anyone else from the NFC South is getting in.

It's a little bit more up in the air, but this is kind of what I see going forward for the Super Bowl. And if you're asking me right now, if you're asking me right now, I think the Chiefs magic some voodoo shit, get in there, and they win. I think the Chiefs get the 3P. I don't know how. We saw it. We saw it in the Chargers game. They doinked a ball for a game winner. Who does that? Besides the Kansas City Chiefs.

That happens to nobody else. Nobody. Okay? So, as I look forward, as I look forward, I have a couple bets. I know that you know I'm a degenerate. So my bet's going forward. I have the Dolphins on the money line versus the Texans.

Texans, backs against the wall. They're basically locked in here. Dolphins, really backs against the wall. They need to keep winning. They need some other things to happen too, but they need to keep winning. They're feisty, and they're also trying to crush narratives. Texans, winning record, good team, playoff team. Can the Dolphins beat them?

I got the Dolphins on the money line at plus 130. Bills, Lions, over 53.5. The way this Lions defense is, I do not care. I flat out do not care. There's going to be points. They will be able to score with the Bills, and the Bills will be able to score on the Lions. Maybe a redemption tour. Maybe you take the Bills, but either way, I like a lot of points in this one. It's Steelers plus five versus the Eagles. The battle of Pennsylvania. I'm going to be taking the Steelers plus the five. I don't know if they get the win, but Mike Tomlin as a dog is too good of a lollipop

for me to pass off a couple of licks. Also, I'm taking the Seahawks money line versus the Packers. Just some fuck shit happens in that game. So once again, Dolphins money line, Bills Lions over 53 and a half, Steelers plus five, Seahawks money line. Other fun games, but in general, just to watch, even if you're not a better. Watch Bills Lions. That is must-see TV. Steelers and Eagles, also must-see TV. games just but in general just to watch even if you're not a better watch Bill's Lions that is

must-see TV Steelers and Eagles also must-see TV if these teams are on a collision course they're both playing great the defense for the Steelers can maybe muck some things up and uh shake some things so watch out for that one and the Packers and Seahawks just like I said earlier fuck shit now I want to leave you with this. At the end of the show, from me to you, from my mouth to your supple, beautiful ears, I implore you this weekend. There is two college football games on Saturday. We have Army-Navy and we have some bowl game.

It really doesn't matter. I don't care. and we have some bowl game. It really doesn't matter. I don't care. But there is also some beautiful Japanese football. The X League Rice Bowl tournament is ongoing. We are in the semifinals at the moment. We have the Obik Seagulls versus the Panasonic Impulse

and Sekisu versus Fujitsu. If you have to watch one, tune in Friday evening, Central Time, midnight, OBIC versus Panasonic. That is the game. If you don't know X-League, if you don't know Japanese football, these two teams are historic. They're basically in that upper tier. So even in the main league of the X-League Super, these teams are above the rest. It's really just Fujitsu, OBIC, and Panasonic, and then everyone else. So this will be a fantastic matchup. I'll be live streaming it on twitch.tv.com. Make sure you tune in and just tell me that Patrick sent you.

And I might do a little something something for you, you know? I'm friends. I'm friend.