Patrick and the People - 12/19/2024 XFL Jim's Weekly Roundup on PATP (Segment Only)

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

XFL Jim covers the world of football and looks into his magic crystal to bring you his college football predictions and NFL playoff scene for this week.

Hello there! XFL Jim here for the Weekly Roundup. Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Real hot, real sensual. So stay tuned. Shout out Patrick and the people, baby. I, of course, must begin with college football. It is bowl season. But before we talk about the bowls, we have to talk Army-Navy. Navy won it 31-13. They look like the better team. Bryson Daly, a Heisman finalist.

He was in the top ten of voting. Was pedestrian in this game. Navy just looked. They dominated the entire time from wire to wire. It wasn't even close. Army really just didn't have a chance. So for now, Navy are the superior troops. We are a naval country until further notice. That's just how it is. Also, we had our first bowl game. South Alabama 30, Western Michigan 23. It was a game. I don't know if I'd call it a great game, but it was a game.

Congratulations, South Alabama, for getting the win. Other bowl games coming up. We have Memphis, West Virginia, Western Kentucky, James Madison, Cal, UNLV. I'm excited for these games. I'm going to give you the winners. I'm going to reach into my mind and pick the winners going in. I'm going to go Memphis over West Virginia, Western Kentucky, JMU.

I'm going to go Western Kentucky. I'm going to go James Madison. I'm going to go James Madison. And Cal, UNLV, I'm going to go Western Kentucky I'm gonna go James Madison I'm gonna go James Madison and Cal UNLV I'm gonna go Cal I have to UNLV losing Barry Odom is just too much which brings me in to my segue I'm so good at this uh let's talk a little bit of coaches there's some coaching carousel movement I would normally talk transfer portal and who's going where, but it's crazy. There's like over 2,000-some kids in the transfer portal. What's up with that? Who can keep up with that?

So we're going to talk coaches. We got Rich Rod going from Jacksonville State back to West Virginia. I think it's a great hire. I think it'll work fantastically. He has succeeded wherever he has gone. He will do well back at West Virginia. Marshall out of a bowl. Their head coach wins the Sun Belt, still gets fired,

goes to Southern Miss, and now a majority of the team has left to basically follow the man, and Marshall can no longer field a team for the bowl game to play Army. Shout out to Louisiana Tech for taking their place there, but it's just yeesh. Bill Belichick to UNC. Massive. Huge. Will it work?

Who knows? I sure don't. It could be the worst hire ever, but I think it could also have the potential to be a fantastic hire. It depends what we see. There's a lot of, I mean, just like any college football hire. You never know. You really don't. Barry Odom, can he recover Purdue? Can he make Purdue as good, if not better, than the

Brahm era? That's the question that we need answered from Barry Odom. I love him as a coach. I think he's a fantastic coach. Great hire from Purdue. Again, don't know if it'll work out. Scott Frost, back at UCF. Getting the band back together. I hope it works out. I'm a little skeptical here. Hopefully he learns some things from his time in Nebraska.

He needs it. It's a match made in heaven. We saw already. Bronco Mendenhall to Utah State from New Mexico. I think this is a fantastic hire. I love Bronco at Virginia, a.k.a. Rocky Dick and Balls. I think it's going to be a good fit at Utah State for him. He did really, really well at BYU, so I trust him.

And then Dan Mullen to UNLV. Love it. Fantastic hire. He's been in broadcasting for a little bit now, but he's a good coach. We know he's a good coach. We know that he can do more with less, and I think that'll be very imperative at a school like UNLV.

Love that. What's your favorite coaching hire, huh? Why don't you let me know? Why don't you let a boy know what your favorite coaching hire is so far in the college football season, huh? Now, of course, I'm not going to leave you college football gambling-less. This is a betting community. coaching hire is so far in the college football season, huh? Now, of course, I'm not going to leave you college football gambling less. This is a betting community.

We are a society of degenerates, so we have betting lines. Here are the upcoming. I'll satiate you in the meantime. Here are the bowl games coming up between now and next week's show. We have Georgia Southern versus Sam Houston in the R&L Carriers Bowl. Georgia Southern is a five-and-a-half point favorite, and I'm taking Georgia Georgia Southern versus Sam Houston in the R&L Carriers Bowl. Georgia Southern is a five and a half point favorite, and I'm taking Georgia Southern here over Sam Houston. Give me Clay Helton, baby. Basically, I mean, maybe he's fighting for his job later. The Staff DNA

Cure Bowl, we have Ohio versus Jacksonville State. The Bobcats are three point favorites here. Both are missing their head coaches. They're losing a lot. I'm going to go with JVL State, though. I have a method for gambling on college football bowl games, and it is fade the Mac. The Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl.

Tulane versus Florida. Florida's a 14 point favorite here. We're going with the Gators. Just keep it simple. Tulane, disappointing end of the season. Florida, kind of like climbing at the end of the season. They want to go in to next year with some momentum. Take the Gators here. For the playoffs, we have Indiana

and Notre Dame. Notre Dame is a 7.5 point favorite. I'm rolling with Indiana. I don't know if they win, but I think they have the very easy potential to keep this one super close. I'm so excited for Indiana, Notre Dame. SMU, Penn State. Penn State, 8.5-point favorite.

Again, this is a pressure situation. What do we know about James Franklin? He cannot thrive under pressure. He's the opposite of a diamond. Give me SMU to keep it close here. Clemson, Texas. Texas, a 12-point favorite. Clemson maybe to keep it close here. Clemson, Texas. Texas a 12-point favorite. Clemson maybe could keep it close,

but the only way they do that is by turning Quinn Ewers over. Distinct possibility, but I think Texas has a much more likely opportunity to roll here. Clemson has crumbled under pressure a lot when they face these really good teams. I think Texas can dominate. Tennessee, Ohio State. Ohio State a 7-point favorite, and by, they should be. Tennessee, super banged up. Defensive lines for both teams, great. But I like Ohio State. And 100%, Ohio State's still one of the most dangerous teams in the country. The Myrtle Beach Bowl. We have Coastal Carolina

versus UTSA. UTSA is a nine point favorite. I'm rolling with Coastal. This is basically a home game for them. Tim Beck getting it done. The famous Idaho Potato Bowl. Fresno NIU. NIU is a three-point favorite here. Give me the Bulldogs. Give me Fresno State. I'm doing it. I'm once again fading the Mac.

And then the Hawaii Bowl. South Florida versus San Jose State. San Jose is a six-point favorite. And I'm rolling with the Buffaloes of South Florida. I'm XFL Jim. This is gambling. So remember, there's always a shot. Have you gone to IHOP and just thought that was too damn classy? Well, welcome to Perkins, bitch.

Because where we get our food is a secret even our chefs don't know. Perkins is the kind of restaurant where there might be something on the floor next to you, but so what? It's three in the morning, you're drunk, you just want some food. That's right, it's Perkins. We got tomato glaze, we got mango fish tacos, we got shrimp two ways, and neither of them are good. Come to Perkins. ways and neither of them are good. Come to Perkins. We move on to the National Football League. Week 15 is in the books and I will give you the briefest of brief rundowns, but don't worry. We're going to do this one a little bit sensually. We had the Rams over the 49ers on Thursday night, 12-6. It was a terrible game, but the Rams turned out to be a dangerous team. A dangerous team, indeed.

They can win in multiple ways, folks. Multiple ways. Chiefs 21, Browns 9. Jameis, getting pulled for DTR is not what you want to see out of this fine, young, outstanding gentleman. Patrick Mahomes is the story of this one, though. Is he hurt? For how long? We will have to wait and see. Browns just could not get out of their own way. I've seen that before.

Bengals... The Bengals are still technically alive. And Joe Burrow, as sexy as he ever is, just keeping this team going week by week. Commanders, 20. Saints, 19. Jake Hayner starting this game for the Saints made little to no sense. But, but, friends, Spencer Rattler made it a game. The Commanders looked rough for a section of this one,

but they still got it done. Ravens 35, Giants 14. Man, the things Lamar Jackson can do with a football will make even a grown man blush. It's so wonderful being able to see this man, this human football, just sex machine, what he can do. I feel privileged being able to watch him. Cowboys 30, Panthers 14. Cooper Rush looked pretty good. The Panthers offensive line is something of a mystery. It's non-existent, perhaps.

Bryce Young came back down to earth a little bit. Both these teams stink. Jets 32, Jags 25. Speaking of teams that both stink, Devontae Adams came alive here in the latter stages of the game. Aaron Rodgers has been looking better these past couple weeks, giving Jets fans some semblance of hope. Texans 20, Dolphins 12. Tua. Tua, Tua, Tua. Some of the worst picks I've ever seen. This offensive game plan was terrible,

and it's the Dolphins against a team over.500. The Texans didn't even look that good. Their defense was all right, but the offense for the Texans was just... It was something of an enigma. Eagles 27, Steelers 13. The Eagles have solidly cemented themselves at the top of the NFC. Not trailing too far are the Vikings and, of course, the Lions, but the Eagles sit on top. That defense is pure bliss. Jalen Hurts airing it out to A.J. Brown, Devontae Smith shutting the haters down. The Steelers, well, they did not prove the doubters

wrong this week, did they? They never win in Philadelphia, so it's fine. Bucks 40, Chargers 17. Baker Mayfield. My word, man. What a game from him. The Chargers, ugh. No running game whatsoever, and they just looked flat-out sloppy. What can we say about Mike Evans that hasn't been said every single year so far. Broncos 31, Colts 13.

The Broncos, look at them, huh? Who would have thought? Who would have thought that this Broncos team, huh? And the Colts, Anthony Richardson, not the guy. Bills 48, Lions 42. Shootout of shootouts. The Bills are just, oh, so fun to watch. Josh Allen, many people are saying running away with the MVP, quite literally, so to speak. And the Lions, as good as this offense is, it's hard to have full faith in them the way the defense is playing at the moment. It's just, they need a fluffer. They really do. I've had one before. It really does help. Cardinals 30, Patriots 17. The Patriots tank-a-thon continues. The Cardinals still alive. Still alive. Packers 30, Seahawks 13. There was no fuck shit. Packers 30, Seahawks 13.

There was no fuck shit. Geno is probably just done. The Packers are legit. Pretty standard, if you ask me. Bears 12, Vikings 30. Speaking of standard, the Bears suck. The Vikings, though, quietly still alive for potentially even the one season in the NFC, huh? And that's Sam Donald.

Boy, is he a looker. Falcons 15, Raiders 9. You didn't watch this game. Nobody should have watched this game. And that's okay. Because this game sucked so hard. Now that brings me to my Week 16 picks for the upcoming week of NFL election. I'm going to give it to you right now.

I'm going to give it to you straight. I'm taking the Steelers plus 6.5 versus the Ravens. The Steelers bounce back spot. Tomlin after a loss as a dog again in the division against the Ravens. Give me the Steelers here plus the 6.5. I don't know. I would burn my money for this. Browns-Bengals over 49. Yep. I'm just, it's a system play at this point. I'm taking the Bengals in overs. I'm just, I'm doing

it. Their defense is trash. So trash. Commanders plus four and a half versus the Eagles. This is basically for the division. I believe the pressure is there. Yes, the Eagles will probably dominate them, but if there's ever a game right now, this is the one. Other games to watch out for, Rams-Jets. Rams-Jets. That game's going to be messy. Aaron Rodgers has been playing better. The Rams have a lot of, like, they're looking good too. This game is going to be fun. Those are my games for this week. Watch out for that one, huh? Of course, I also have to briefly mention our friends over in Japan. The X League had their semifinals for the Rice Bowl tournament this weekend. We had OBIC losing to the Panasonic Impulse 5-24.

It started out slow and kept being slow. OBIC gets a safety. they get a field goal and then a bunch of missed field goals in the first half and then after halftime panasonic comes running in and just is a man on fire they looked so good then we had sekisu versus fujitsu the frontiers of fujitsu won this one 52 to 21 it's just classic fitsu domination. We see this time in, time out. Once again, we get Fujitsu versus Panasonic for the Rice Bowl. And it's hard not to take Fujitsu in this one. In Japan, there's really only three teams.

Maybe a fourth, but give me Fujitsu. Honestly, all day. I'll be rooting for Panasonic. I got a player on that team that I'm really a big fan of, but I'm going to roll Fujitsu with the official pick. And folks, that'll do it today on the Weekly Roundup with XFL Gym. I hope you've enjoyed yourselves. If you like me, you can find me everywhere.

At XFL Gym. Twitter. Instagram. X, the everything app. Reddit, Twitch, YouTube. I am all over. Shout out Patrick and the people. They are a fantastic organization, and they really know just how to get your rocks off. Thank you all for watching.

Have a wonderful week of football, and remember to stay hashtag garage certified