Patrick and the People - 1/24/2025 XFL Jim's Weekly Roundup on PATP

Episode Date: January 24, 2025

XFL Jim covers the world of football and looks into his magic crystal to bring you his college football predictions and NFL playoff scene.

XFL Jim here to give you the latest scoop on everything football. Shout out Patrick and the people. Let's fucking people the Patrick to you. It's XFL Jim on Patrick and the People. That's right folks, we have the wild, we have the crazy, we have it all for you and your loins, your luscious, lavacious loins. It's time for the weekly roundup with XFL Jim brought to you by Patrick and the people. Let me start off the show by explaining to you exactly what the absence has been for

me. Why I have been not around, so to speak, for the last few weeks. And that's a very easy story. I've been convening with the gyms. We have our yearly meeting of the gyms at the beginning and end of each year, so we kind of wrap that all together. I was meeting CFL gym, UFL gym, XFL 2023 gym, Chef gym, all the gyms were there. It was a big hullabaloo. It was a fun time but someone there had the flu and I got it. I was sick. I was sick for multiple weeks. I was basically laying in bed shivering and sweating and shivering and sweating

It was something it was a whole ordeal. I don't need to bore you with it But that's where I've been the gyms are cooking up something very very special for 2025. That's all you need to know Now let's get to some football. That'll bring us into our NFL divisional Recap at number one. We had the Commander's 45, Lions 31. Commanders dominated this game. They owned the Lions. Ben Johnson's worst game of the season by far. Some are saying, me, some are saying

that maybe he had one foot out the door, wasn't fully invested in the Lions. There's reports coming out already that he's been like sweating over his staff for weeks now with the Bears and I just I don't know Jared Goff looked very pedestrian and while the run game for the Lions is good I don't know if the one-two punch was necessarily there. Also injuries abound on defense didn't make this any easier. You saw the commanders could basically do whatever they want. Jayden Daniels, man, man that guy is fun.

Oh, he's so fun to watch. He's just the definition of clutch. I feel like if you have Jayden Daniels and you're the commanders, if you're at any point in a close game late, you have a very real opportunity to win that game and that's just mmm that's so so special I also love that it's like the most generic team is doing good it's very fun I still wish they were the football team honestly honestly wish they were still the football team Texas 14 Chiefs 23 we're over right we're over the Chiefs we're over the Chiefs, we're past the Chiefs, we're past Patrick Mahomes.

Like I get it in these moments, Travis Kelce lights it up. He was great. Patrick Mahomes is clutch when he needs to be. But the flopping and the like, knowing he's going to get the call and going for it is just so damn annoying. Texans, you had opportunities in this one. You can blame the penalties if you're a Texans fan, but you still had opportunities that you yourself blew. The defense is good. Offense this playoffs has been better, but it's the Chiefs.

I mean, it's the Chiefs, it's the Chiefs, it's the Chiefs. That's all you really need to say is that it's the Chiefs. Okay? They get the calls and then they're like the best team in the NFL at capitalizing on getting the calls It's a double whammy of just fuck you. That's what the Chiefs are to every non-chiefs fan out there. It's disgusting some say Rams 22 Eagles 28 game. This was a very fun game. It was a very close game. The Eagles just have, in my opinion, the most sensual offensive and defensive lines. I think

as a whole, their upfront attack and defense is just better than almost anyone else remaining in the playoffs. It's so good Jalen herbs like he's good, but he needs to be for the most part. Maybe he's still kind of banged up I don't know, but he doesn't he hasn't needed to be much He has he's needed to be enough and that's what he is because they have say quad and they have these offensive and defensive lines that are just And then like the linebackers and everything else on defense for the Eagles is great I think the Eagles defense mate might be one of like the top two remaining units in the playoff. They're so good So so damn good for the Rams. This is just this is kind of the the wall for them. They're a young team

They'll be back. I trust McFaye. I trust this team. I trust them to get it done. But congratulations to the Eagles. And then Ravens 25, Bills 27. Oh boy. This was the narrative game. Everyone can take whatever they want from it. Josh Allen looked pretty darn good, but Lamar Jackson, for the most part, I mean he had his mistakes, but for the most part, looked really, really, really really good And I think that's gonna be kind of hampered by the fact that they lose this game That last drive was magical and Mark Andrews man He's gonna be crying for at least several days. I know when I was playing garageball with with my buddies and my team and I missed the

game winning pass it's it came right to me but I was so blackout drunk I couldn't catch it I cried for four days straight I missed work just to cry and drink but the point remains congratulations to the Bills they have a nice little rematch with the Chiefs we're gonna get into that later that'll leave me into my college football recap, I'm going to give you the scoop on the natty that happened this week as well as my favorite storylines from the last season. Ohio State wins it 34-23 and this was a game of three parts in my opinion. Part number one, you had Notre Dame coming out, long extended drive, pounding the rock with Riley Leonard,

getting down the field, taking almost the entire first quarter, scoring, giving Ohio State zero time. Maybe you're thinking, oh, this is gonna be a really close game. Maybe Notre Dame can keep this going. But also, in the back of everyone's head, we see Riley Leonard throwing up on the sideline.

We know that's not sustainable. And then Ohio State from the second quarter to like mid to end of the third quarter, domination. They owned Notre Dame. It was not even close. Will Howard was amazing. Jeremiah Smith, amazing. The running back duo for Ohio State, amazing. And Notre Dame could do nothing. And then the third part of the game, Notre Dame sort of starts to mount a comeback. Ohio State keeps them at bay, but they keep coming. They get within eight. They do some dumb field goal thing when they're down 16. That would only make it down 13, but it's whatever. Ohio State has penalties. They are sloppy, but in the end Ohio State gets the dub.

Jeremiah Smith basically gets left alone. Some poor schlup has to defend this demon and it's over from there. Congratulations to Ohio State. They won the inaugural four-team playoff. Now they win the inaugural twelve-team playoff. That's just kind of what they do. They're great season for Ohio State. Still sucks you lost to Michigan, but boo friggin' who, you won a national championship. Now for my favorite

story line I'm just gonna go through is Arizona State, fantastic. Camp Scatterville, beautiful. Indiana, 11-win Indiana is something that we should always celebrate. The fact that was getting shit on is disgusting. That was amazing. Vanderbilt, when they beat Bama in just the Vanderbilt season, Diego Pavia there has been so fun to experience. The Cal algorithm was so much fun. They didn't get a lot of wins,

but they had a lot of effect, I believe, on the whole college football landscape. They got game day. They got game day. The Pac-12 team's thriving. Like Oregon doing really good. USC not so much, Cal and Stanford also not so much, but the Big 12, Colorado doing really well, Utah not so much, but Arizona

State doing really, really well, Arizona not so much, but the Pac-12, a lot of Pac-12 teams did pretty darn well, Army and Navy, both teams, just chef's kiss on that. BYU, fun story for most of the season. NIU over Notre Dame, one of my favorite upsets of the entire, entire season. I know I'm leaving a bunch out. There's a ton in there. This has been a wonderful, bowl season was wonderful.

The regular season was wonderful, bowl season was wonderful, and honestly the playoffs were wonderful. This is one of...this has been one of my favorite college football seasons in a while. Boy do I love me a car. I sometimes want to have sex in my car and where's the best place you can go to get car sex accessories? That's right it's AutoZone. We got your lube, we got your bangers, we got your mash, and we even have your gay boyfriends to help you out with this car. Wanna have sex with your car? Make sure you head on down to AutoZone. Where the only lube you're putting is in that exhaust. Damn right. And now, I wanna talk to you about the conference championships of the National Football League.

We have the Commanders and the Eagles and the NFC where the Eagles are, soaring to 6th point favorites. The commanders, can they get it done? I don't know, but they did it before when they knocked Jalen Hurts out of the game This one, I'm saying this one It's gonna be different It's gonna be different But I like the commanders And the clutchness of Jaden Danvers

To get it done to get it done, to get it done. And the bills, saying the bills, facing the Chiefs. In the playoffs, yet again, the Chiefs are two point favorites at home. And that's why I think that she's full. It'll win yet again. They'll win yet again. Because the Bills cannot, no they cannot beat the Chiefs in the postseason My Super Bowl Is the Chiefs vs. the Commanders And the Chiefs, yes sir And the Chiefs, yes sir They will three beat

And everyone will need it. And that's basically what's going on with football right now. Of course we still have the Super Bowl after conference championship weekend, but then football, as many of you normals I like to call know it will be over. But football for us true fans will never. And we have the AF1 Arena Football 1 starting March 8th. I'm going to be dropping team previews, I'm going to be dropping schedule previews on my main channel at XFL Gym everywhere. Be on the lookout for that. UFL March 28th, my baby, my pride and joy, my glory.

I will be dropping team previews, schedule review coming up soon. There's a lot that's going into this UFL season that I'm excited for. UFL Gym is excited, Arena Gym is excited, CFL schedule just dropped. There's a lot of football still to happen and I will guide you through every bit and nook and cranny of this beautiful football world don't you worry the UFL previews I'm

gonna give you a little bit well some something to whet your whistle but the main stuff's over on XFL gym shout out Patrick and the people shout out you guys for watching. Shout out for listening. It gets my nips hard. It rocks out. You can see it right there. You can almost hear it. You heard that. I heard you. Love you guys. Like and subscribe. See you next time for another weekly roundup.