Pendejo Time - 5101-GROOVE

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

The sexiest mothafuckin radio station for nasty ass mothafuckas Support the Show.

Welcome to the sexy radio show 5101 groovy ass motherfuckers. How's it going? It's pretty good. Thanks for calling in to the groove doctor. What's your favorite type of groove? Groove doctor? I think my favorite type of groove is a bouncy old school 70 bpm funk groove and does it make you does it make you want to get get nasty with it it helps me study oh yeah you one of them book reading ass motherfass motherfuckers. Yeah, I use it. It helps me learn my music class.

Oh, you use it in class? Yeah. Yeah, so I like to take my funk to music class, and it helps me whenever I look at the beat. Yeah. And it helps me look at what my music can be whenever I look at my homework. So that's how it helps me study. So you'd be studying music and you listen to groovy-ass, funky-ass beats.

Yeah. And you listen to that shit to make you better at book learning? You don't listen to it to fucking get that dick popped down on like a fucking tube? No. You don't listen to it to fucking get that dick popped down on like a fucking tube? No, I use it to, whenever I listen to music, I like to listen to the rhythm of it. And the rhythm of it helps me to use it for school. So you mean to tell me that you listen to funky-ass, groovy-ass beats and you don't fucking get that thing gobbled down on like a piece of Thanksgiving ham? No, what I like to do is I'll, whenever I work on schoolwork, I study music.

I look at the music on my paper I'll use the music on the YouTube to study for my finals to get better grades. But there's so many things you can do with a sexy ass groove, a thumping ass

bass line. You can put the top out and get some baby oil on it and slide up and down on it butt ass naked with the windows open playing a sexy ass groove and you want to talk you telling me you want to do book learning yeah what a waste of a badass thick ass booty groover yeah what i like to do is i'll put on a funk beat and I'll look at my schoolwork and whenever I look at the beat on the paper I can listen to the music and it's like I'm listening to the schoolwork but instead of the schoolwork being on the paper

it's like I can hear it in the music because I study music. I go to music college because whenever I grow up, I want to be like a teacher but for music. Let me ask you something. How old are you? I'm 25. All right, then. And you 25 and you never bust down a sexy-ass groove with a hot-ass piece of fucking sexy girl meat that you met at the fucking hopscotch. No, I'm listen to a piece of music, I like to do it so for whenever I'm looking into school, I'll, sometimes whenever I see a school, I think about music because that's what I'm going to school for.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like you've explained that to me, like, several times. And to be completely honest with you, what's your name? Musician. Sorry, somebody was fucking... Quit that racket back there in the studio.

Somebody's fucking around with my knobs. Yeah, alright musician, I appreciate you calling in a 5101 group, but you're boring as hell. I hope that you can find it in your heart to listen to a sexy thumping ass groove with a hot mama that you met at the sexy get down. I like to use it because I like to use it whenever i'm doing my school work yeah i understand that we're gonna go to the next caller hello you've reached 5101 groove the sexiest groove doctor radio station for real ass grooving booty ass motherfuckers speaking hey i'm sorry you broke up a little bit oh hey hey uh hey long time listener here uh harry mcgary you know me yeah what up harry so why don't you remind the audience you horny-ass motherfucker,

what's your favorite sexy type of groove? Oh, man, my favorite sexy-ass type of groove, you already know. The Slip and Dip by Fruity McNuggets. And my favorite thing about that is whenever he'd perform it live, he wouldn't put his fingers on the bass one time. There's different parts of his tongue. You know, Fruity McNuggets, he would lick up and down that bass. They call it, you know, in bass culture, they'll call it the shaft of the guitar. Yeah, Fruity McNuggets' classic track, slip the slip and dip that's harry mcgary's

favorite sexy ass group yeah we always love having harry mcgary on telling us about when's the last time you busted it down slicked up oil style to the slip and dip oh man you know me it had to be not more than two weeks ago whenever whenever I paid for whenever I paid for my yeah whenever I paid yeah you know me we're fucking around back in the studio with my knobs because it's distracting. Oh, man, you know me. It was back two weeks ago whenever I paid for my ex-girlfriend's car note. Yeah. And she repaid you with a little bit of that wet and boogie. Yeah.

And you know she gave me that you know what. And it was hog dong. It was bad A all day long. Hell yeah. From the a.m. to the p.m. Damn, y'all had sex for 12 hours? No, it was more like 11.30 to a little bit afternoon. Yeah, I like that because you can pass it off like you were getting it in some rounds.

But as it turns out, it was a classic 30-minute one, which you can't hate on it. Yeah, it's the best amount of time and you what can i say i took her out for a late breakfast and then we went to lunch after damn so y'all had two meals yeah we had we had several plates of eggs and then got it on and then we had egg sandwiches after. And you put on that slip and dip by Fruity McNuggets. Mmm. Onion rings after. Yeah, thank you, sir. Sorry, I got it in turn.

Let's just say that Ford Focus is getting paid off early McGirly. I bet y'all had to clean that motherfucker out because there was so much grease in it. Oh yeah and I threw up. Yeah sometimes that happens because Fruity McNuggets baselines are so groovy and they're so thumpy that your body physically recoils in on itself. Yeah we always, we like to

go hang in the trunk and the subwoofer starts trickling up on me with that sexy ass bass line i call it babe lines when i listen to funk because that's all i seem to get but you know me i I love getting it on. See, the thing about I like when Harry McGarry calls is he's one of the OGs from 5101 Group. Harry McGarry, you love to eat a whole plate of eggs, at least 12, and then have sex in the trunk of your car. Is that true?

Oh, yeah. And you know why I like to do it which came first the chicken or or harry mcgary yeah you're a real nasty ass mother it takes a real nasty ass savage with a fucked up looking wiener to eat a dozen eggs and then fuck a girl on the back of your for focus her for focus nonetheless for now because you're not legally allowed to drive but i'm paying for eggs and then fuck a girl in the back of your Ford Focus. Her Ford Focus, nonetheless. For now. Because you don't have a car. Because you're not legally allowed to drive. But I'm paying for hers. Yeah.

Yeah, you're a real ass motherfucker, Harry. Yeah, that's 400 bucks a month well spent, baby doll. Yeah, for a little piece of trim once every six months for 30 minutes Yeah After you eat a whole dozen eggs And after that baby drop

Man We might just get some ice creams Y'all get ice cream after? Yeah If we have Sometimes when we go like 7.30 to 8 I'll get her a late dinner, then an early late night snack. And after that, maybe another 5 or 10 minutes of canoodling.

And then, yeah, get your ass a real late night snack, like a couple Pop-Tarts and maybe a couple of Twinkies and a Ding Dong and two s'mores and a piece of pizza. Yeah, that's the type of sexy ass snacks. Yeah. They really get the cool stuff. And then I wake up and I eat five corn dogs and three musketeers. Yeah. They really get the corn dogs. And then I wake up and I eat five corn dogs and three musketeers. Yeah. And I have Big Red and orange juice. And then I drink water and I have black coffee in the water.

Just a little bit. And then I eat a carrot. And then I eat a carrot. The thing about Harry Gary, folks, is that first and foremost, I'm the groove doctor. Harry McGarry's the love doctor. He knows how to take a simple evening and turn it into a sexy, luscious... Into a 15-course sex meal. Yeah. Corn dogs. Carrots. Whole plate. Yeah. Corn dogs.

Carrots. Whole plate of eggs. Beans. Pop. Popsicles. Pot tart. Christmas ham. Egg roll.

Musk rooms. Sorry. I had something in my throat. Yeah. I'm coming down with a little something. Yeah. I looked at a picture of a dead dog, and I got real sad. So I'm sorry for that. Oh, that thing looks good.

Yeah, here's the thing. Here's the thing about muskrooms is that a lot of people don't know it's an erogenous meal. If you eat several pounds of muskrooms, you're ready to throw it down like you're tossing a big piece of meat down a well.

Yeah, whenever I like to get with my ex-wife. Oh, yeah, we'll eat muskrooms and oysters. Oh, yeah, and popcorn. Y'all listen to... Y'all listen to... What else? So if you listen to Slip and Dip, Fruity McNuggets, what else is on Harry McGarry's

putting a pipe in the fucking milling machine music? Oh, you know, my favorite thing to listen to other than Slip and Dip? Yeah, what is it? Enlighten the folks who may not know

what the best type of music is To slam down your shit like a fucking Big ol mallet If you wanna get If you man If you wanna get where other guys Can't You gotta put on some music

Most guys can't listen to Alright then You The guy's name Is most guys can't listen to. I think. You, the guy's name is is old guitar drums.

Sorry, you broke up a little bit there, Harry. So, I think this would try... No, yeah, no, yeah, his name is... It's all right. I know you had a long day at work, and you're coming down with a little bit of something, too. But yeah, old guitar, guitar, drums.

Sorry, I keep looking at a picture of the dead dog. My intern here at 511 Group won't stop showing me sad stuff. Yeah, man, I put on old guitar. It's all right. Take your time. Playboy is tough. It's tough take your time Playboy it's tough It's tough to talk about Yeah I start thinking about all the orgasms

That I've had And I get real choked up So Old Guitar Guitar Drums What's your What's your favorite song by Mr. Old Guitar Guitar Drums Oh man my favorite song by him Yeah Is drums bass guitar song by mr. old guitar guitar drum oh man my favorite song by him yeah is drums bass guitar drums violin if you ain't heard that shit before go on on

Spotify right now and check out drums old drums drums guitar it's and you search up if you don't have it on the internet man you gotta check out violin drums band guitar music sorry i had a little something up again so the thing about old guitar guitar drums is seminal track guitar drums bass violin drum set singer is a lot of people don't understand

they think oh this is that old shit so it's not innovative but old guitar guitar drums on his album recording music with musicians in a studio produced by an audio engineer. They just don't understand the complexity of all them songs. Of guitar, bass, drums, violin. Of keyboard, guitar, pedal. Of choir. of sound.

Yeah. And, man, that's what it's all about. So that's also on Harry McGarry's putting a pipe into the fucking welding machine playlist. Oh, yeah. Nice. I like that so you got you got slip and dip by fruity mcnuggets and you got old guitar guitar drums singing his classic track drums bass guitar violin what else you got on there you got to give me a third one just just for good measure and then we'll hop off the phone harry okay no worries yeah people on the line. Yeah, no worries. I'm in a high-speed chaser right now, so that works out.

Damn, I'm sorry to hear that. Nah, it's okay. I'm doing the chasing this time. Are you chasing the police around the city? Nah. Nah, I'm at work. Anyway. You work as a high-speed chaser?

Yeah, I started. You know me, I started being a chaser last year. Yeah, I always figured you for one of them. Yeah, you know me. Are you a union chaser? Yeah. Hell yeah. All right.

Well, you know, here's the thing, Harry McGarry. I'm glad to hear you're doing good. You've always been one of my favorite callers in the 5101 group. Thank you. Me too. And we're going to see what else we got for our radio show today. So I'm going to give you the clip. All right.

But make sure you keep it slick. All right. Bye-bye, Harry. Bye-bye. See you. Hey, welcome to 5101 Groove. I'm the Groove Doctor. What you grooving on today?

Today I'm grooving on big piece of meat. I eat it. I go yeah. I go yeah. It is so good. Hey, Lucifer, I think I saw you at one of them NA meetings. How you doing? Oh, say no, Lucifer, I think I saw you at one of them NA meetings. How you doing? Oh, say no, Lucifer. I am whispering.

I am in a cave. You're what? You must help me. I am in a cave. I am trapped. Are you? I am trapped in a cave. Help me.

You're calling me from a cave? Where you at, playboy? I am in a cave. I am surrounded by hyenas. Help me. First off, trapped in a cave with hyenas, man. What's your biblical name? What's the name? Kambaku.

Kambaku? Kambaku, why are you stuck in a cave with a bunch of rabid animals? I have fallen into the cave. I am trying to escape the cave and there are guards chasing me. I tried to run to the cave so I could escape the hyenas, but they are so fast and they hear so well. And every time I try and call out for help they mimic my voice and make us sound like a woman's they will they will howl in the exact

voice of mine but they say my name is kumbaku and I am gay I was gonna ask you your favorite groove to get down with and have it slicked up like a piece of beef jerky you left outside, but it seems like you've got other pressing matters. I have always been a fan of Graham Central Station. You've been a fan of the train station? Graham Central Station. It was formed by Larry Graham the uncle of Drake oh

ok see I don't know I only listen to grooves yeah well this was technically a very popular American groove band have you heard of them no I think maybe the hyenas

a very prominent group the hyenas have seemed to have made you go from like a very scared nigerian man to like uh like a proper english gentleman do that does the hyenas in the cave have that effect on you i am scared for my life and And you question me about Gramps' introspection. I will... M'Baku. M'Baku, the hyena is here to devour me. I must slit his throat.

Alright, well, M'Baku, I hope you get up out the cave and... I have my heart tick in my hand and I'm stroking it. Alright, Mr. Kumbaku, this is a family show. This is my groove guitar. This is my groove guitar.

My groove penis. I rock out on my groove penis. Alright, look, um... I'm playing a solo. Stairway to me fucking you. Oh, Stairway to Penis. Stairway to vagina and fucking you.

Can you sing us a little bit of Stairway to Penis? And she's... And there's a stairway to the penis. Yeah, that's what I thought. That's how I thought it went. I figured it went something like that. But I wasn't. Stairway to penis.

Yeah, I figured. Yeah, I would assume that. That's one of my favorite grooves. Stairway to penis by Lead Penis. Anyway, we're going to take another. We we're gonna roll right along help me i can't help you i'm the groove doctor i only help with grooving seems like you got a groove penis and it seems like you got uh some hyenas you gotta deal with and you gotta get up out that cave but i hope when you get up out the cave That you get a piece of that slam down You see what I'm saying Because I want to fuck the hyenas

Listen to me bro I don't get down with all that I'm from Tallahassee, Florida We don't fuck wild ass animals In Tallahassee Whatever you say Have a good day Kabuku We gonna come back with another call up

Welcome to 5101 Gru Whatever you say. Have a good day, Kabuku. We're going to come back with another call-up. Welcome to 5101 Groove. Hey, y'all. Hey, y'all. The Groove Doctor speaking. Hey, y'all. Who I got on the other line? Hey, y'all.

Yeah, no, I heard you, Playboy. Who do I got on the line at the 5101? Oh, hey. My name is Betsy Lou. I'm, professionally speaking, a dog groomer. And, professionally speaking, a grooving-ass bitch. All right, so you, Betsy Lou, one thing I love is a forthcoming woman. Yeah. I love when a woman come forth to my apartment and listen to sexy ass grooves with me.

What's your favorite type of groove to get that thing down up and down on it like a flagpole and a kid on top of it? Well, my favorite song to groove down to is is it's called get up on that big fat black dick by Gary the big big black big black singer so I heard that one it's his name is gary the big black big black singer it's called it's called get up on that big black dick so it goes kind of like have you heard it no i want you to sing it for the group, Dr. Bessie. Get up on that big black dick, big black dick for you. It is so awesome and it's really cute. It looks like an anchor and it's really heavy.

And if you ride with me, you can hang out in my chevy and then the groove goes like this bucket yeah big black big black gary the singer is so good Big Black, Big Black, Gary the Singer is so good. So you like Gary the Big Black, the Big Black Singer, and you like his song, Get Up On That Big Black Dick. Where did you first hear a song like that, Betsy Lou? I guess just me and my family, we kind of grew up on the wrong side of the railroad tracks. You know, because we lived under them and nobody's supposed to be on that side.

It was so loud. We were always getting vibrated. Because we were right under them. And if you poked your head up too high, then the train would hit you on the head so my my people he had a flat head like a table we used to set we used to set drinks on it was your was your granddaddy the peepaw table peepaw table yeah you might have heard his record um let grandpa get some sleep let grandpa get some sleep grandpa can't sleep because y'all keep talking all night yeah i love that record i love the song on that leg let grandpa get a peep of that

purse i hadn't heard that one he mostly did the family friendly stuff around us cause it was very specifically about he called himself grandpa in all of it so you know he spoke in the first person yeah he spoke we all spoke grandpa growing up

it was just sort of I had to take GSL classes growing up though grandpa is a second language oh so like so grant so people table he spoke he didn't speak english in the house he spoke he spoke people he spoke people and he spoke a grandpa dialect what does that sound like like okay here's a sentence damn girl you made all the meat in my house stink wow damn girl you made all the meat in my house stink oh yeah you flew okay i see you flew it in grandpa basically there's so many secrets to you so many layers. I can kind of speak a few different languages. I could speak

any language in the world. That's real impressive, Betsy. For a lady who grew up on the train tracks and she has a flat-ass grandpa with a flat-ass table for her head. Yeah. that's pretty impressive yeah i speak over 300 languages and you and you and for a lady who live on her train track you got a great taste in music because i asked you what your favorite type of fucking

sexy ass groove is and you came out with a real fucking deep cut you came out with gary the big black big black singers get up on that big black with his thing not a lot of people know that track okay not a lot of people and he is he was on the other side of the train tracks but he was had the opposite problem his whole family had to jump every time the train came they They lived on top of the train tracks. It was horrible. Yeah, he came up hard. He came up fast every time because he had to jump about 15 feet every couple hours.

Yeah, real athletic, that Gary. I don't know why they didn't step to the side. Well, you know, Gary has a strange way of doing things. He does. He does. well you know gary has a strange way of doing things he does he does well you know about 5101 groove we always love to hear about the deep cut grooves that people get down to and bust it down stinky style so other than gary the big black big black singers hop on that big black dick what's a song that you after you have a long day at the train tracks, what do you like to unwind to? Put on something a little more comfortable.

Put on a little dress. Oh, I thought you'd never ask. I think my favorite thing to really unwind to, if you had to, if I had to answer that,

I'd say um, we used to listen to a lot of Stinker Winker. Not that he was even really from around where we were, but Stinker Winker was really big growing up. Yeah, I remember Stinker Winker. He was kind of like our drape. Yeah, he had that song, Have You Seen My Mama Tampon? Yeah, that was a big one. That was sort of like, it was big. I didn't feel like it was Stinker's best work, though.

I feel like my favorite song by Stinker Winker was probably, I feel like my favorite song by Stinker Winker was probably, um, I'm looking for, uh, it was called I'm Looking for My Favorite Shirt. And I can't find it. And I keep looking on the floor for it. And I don't see it. Oh, here it is. It's over here. Um, it's under the bed. Okay, let me pick it up and see.

Oh, great. It's got wrinkles. Now I've got to take it and wash it again. I hope I don't have to dry it again. And I hope when I dry it, it doesn't come out with more wrinkles. All right, here, I just washed it. Time to go in the dryer. Oh, great.

I just dried my favorite shirt off, and it shrunk to the size of a bug. And it's got even more wrinkles. And my balls fell off. That was a good one, but you didn't get much radio time because it took so long to request it. Yeah, I remember when people were calling the 5101 groove. They tried to get it, but our recording time, our prime time spot at 347 in the morning on a Tuesday couldn't handle all the bandwidth or the damn title. But I'm always consistently impressed with the people calling for the Groove Doctor

with all their deep cut groovings. You keep it moving out there, Betsy Lou, and I hope you don't get your head flattened like you people. Okay. Thank you, Jesus. You're welcome, Jesus, Dr. Groove. Peace.

Dr. Groove here for another edition of Groove Trivia. Who do we got calling in to the Groove Trivia game? The winner gets tickets to see Big Ass Motherfucker with a big ass microphone.

Well, it's me again. Oh, no, Dopey. How you doing, Playboy? Bad. Real bad. Every time you call me, you are stricken with a new tragedy. You want to tell the listeners of all your tragedies, Dopey? Well, last week, man, I don't even know if anybody would care if I brought this up.

Everybody cares, Dopey. The groove doctor cares, and that's the most important thing. I stepped in a puddle. You stepped in a puddle, Dopey? Yeah, last year. And was that kind of the beginning of a long stretch of trial? Oh, God, yeah. I stepped in a puddle, and then I had to go to the doctor,

and they gave me a flu shot last year. So that was what kind of set me off pretty bad, down a huge road to depression and loss and then i my neighbors my um my neighbor's friend's cat died And then my broom, I left my broom in my aunt's house. And then my aunt left my broom at her cousin's house. So then I had to find out who my aunt was cousins with. And I found out my aunt was cousins with my cousin.

And my aunt's cousin had left my broom at her dad's cat's barn. And so I just got a new broom because I didn't know, And so I just got a new broom because I didn't know, I didn't even know that my aunts, cousins, dads could even have a barn. Well, I'm sorry. to eat a piece of crackers and somebody took all the peanut butter out so that whenever I chomped the two crackers would hit

each other and it would make my teeth hurt. Sorry, I got had a little something in my throat. So just let the Groove Doctor break it down, a recap. So you stepped in a puddle one year ago.

Yeah. And then you had to go get a shot. Mm-hmm. And then you had some sort of a broom-type fiasco where you left. Oh, I don't even get me started. Yeah, I don't think nobody. Yeah, I think everybody got the gist of the broom. The broom scandal.

I guess. The sweeping snafu, if you will. Oh. Dope it. I'm glad you called dope because as I said earlier before, everybody is now well acquainted with your goddamn motherfucking tragedies and shit. Yeah. Dopey has called in here before mostly to tell me about his sad ass, stupid ass, dumb ass life.

But now we're going to play a little bit of groove trivia. I don't know. Dopey, don't play coy now. Maybe I should just go. I don't know dope it don't let don't don't play call now maybe I should just go I don't know don't play corn now dope it every time I'm calling everybody calls me but that's why we love you dope because you do even oh really yeah everybody everybody calling and they say, Who was that boy with the sexy-ass, silky-smooth voice? Talking about how...

They don't mean it. They do mean it, Dopey. They say his cat fell down a drain. Start a go for me for that little boy's cat. Oh, I guess I'll stay for now. For the money. Yeah, the winner of groovy ass trivia gets $17. Okay.

After fees. Are you ready for your first question, Dopey? All right. After fees. Are you ready for your first question, Dopey? Alright. Dopey, your first groovy-ass, fucking sexy-ass, slick-ass, fucking wet-ass question. Question one. Who sings the 1977 funk classic damn I spilled coca-cola on my penis

well it might be fizzy bizzler we got a winner for question one fizzy bizzler sings damn I got coca-Cola on My Penis, a classic cocaine club hit in beautiful Miami, Florida. All the Cubans used to come over from Cuba just to hear Fizzy Bizzler sing

I Got Coca-Cola on My Penis. And Cubans would dance and shake their Cuban bodies to it. Oh, okay. I don't know about that. Question two, Dobie. Name the album that topped the Billboard's sexiest-ass motherfuckin'

stinkin'-ass room charts. Sang by none other than Chunky Booty Jim. Chunky Booty Jim. Let's see. How is Chunky Booty Jim's biggest album? That would have to be... You can't... No, no no you got it dopey everybody's

rooting for you down at the fucking mental hospital yeah it was called um got this big meat booty shaking and making it go out of control, got all up in a bitch's face, and got it wet with the spaghetti on it, and shawty twerking and making me look at it, and it's blue. Yeah, you got it. You got it 99% of the way there. And it's purple and pink. It's all of what you said.

It's all of that. I wish I could say it. And she's grinding on something. It's fine. That's the last word. She's bouncing. And there's a condom on me. Yep, that's it. There you go, Dopey.

That's the... That's Chunky Booty Jim's most popular 1988 album that played on Billboard's hottest, fucking stinkiest-ass tracks for real stinky-ass motherfuckers at work at the zoo. Man, I'm so glad that one charted and I'm so glad that you knew that answer Dobie

Now for all the fucking marbles For $17 worth of marbles Name The singer Who performed at the Roman Coliseum In 1955 And sang the song who wiped my ass I'm gonna go with uh

Deshante the titty fucker is that correct sorry I had to check I had to check with Is that correct? Sorry, I had to check. I had to check with my producer who does all the research. Deshante the Titty Fucker did not sing, unfortunately did not sing Who Wiped My Ass. He sang Who Shook My Penis After I Pissed In The Urinal. That's Deshanteun Tittyfucker.

Who wiped my ass is saying by none other than Blue's God himself, Lesbian Steve. Lesbian Steve. I never just liked that guy. Oh, well. Understandable. You know what? Just for being such a good sport, Dopey,

and you went through so many profoundly horrific tragedies in your life we're gonna send the 17 to your house by carrier pigeon it'll probably that motherfucker probably get there by like november 10th 2089 so you just wait on that chick and you have to wait another 1 000 years to cash it because 5101 Groove's profit margins are pretty tight. We all wrapped up in quite a bit of money laundering schemes and various injustices. But thanks for calling in, Dopey. You were a real-ass motherfucker. I can't.

If you can believe it, folks, we got 19 minutes left of 5101 Groove. And at this point, I'm thinking we just play the fucking hits, baby. We just keep getting more callers, and we ask them about their favorite fucking wet-ass, moist-ass motherfucking bass lines from that sexiest-ass groove. So thank you, Dopey. Make sure you wear your helmet when you leave the house, man. It hurts my head Yeah but you know when you don't wear your helmet It starts to look like a big old piece of plump Yeah

Okay Bye bye See you around Dopey You fucking retarded ass motherfucker Bye Folks If you got it in your heart fucking retarded ass motherfucker. Hey. Bye. Folks, if you got it in your heart to give

one penny to the dopey dick, dickless dopey fun, we're trying to get dopey a new penis here at 5101 Groove. He got his eaten up

by a wheat thresher. He makes $1 a year at the wheat threshing factory. So,1 a year at the Wheat Threshing Factory. So, this is our only ad for 5101 Groove. The Dickless Dopey Foundation sponsored by

real sick-ass motherfuckers from the South that live in Tallahassee and drink orange wine. Sorry, I, uh, Sorry I uh

Sorry I had a moment I just get so choked up Talking about Dickless Dopey And the Dickless Dopey fun He means so much to the beautiful homeless people Of Tallahassee Florida We got a few more callers lined up for you. So I'm going to get cracking.

We're going to end this sad sack story. No more dickless dopey. Ladies and gentlemen, your next caller to 5-1-1 Groove. You reached the fucking groove, doctor. Are you here to get your fucking sexy ass surgery on? Because I got my gloves on my hands and I got my scalpel on my fucking gooch. I sure hope so. Hey Smokey,

how you doing, big playboy? I'm doing real good. Thank you. How many packs of cigarettes you smoking these days, Smokey John? 10,500, 200, 305,000, and10, 140, 300, 255.75, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2,000, 2 Hey y'all quit that laughing back there In the fucking booth I'm having a serious conversation with my friend Smokey

Is that per day now Smokey? Yes I'm sorry to hear that I thought you was going to quit That's every 5 minutes and 2 seconds And 3 hours I thought you was going to quit And start chewing that nicotine

What they give out to the people at the methadone clinic where you work. I started chewing the nicotine gum and I started chewing 5,002,003,500,250,000 pieces a day. And they told me it would be healthier to start smoking one pack a day than do that. So I started shooting up nicotine and I started shooting up 500 gallons of nicotine day in my butt and in my throat and in my nose and in my my bum and in my way were it as well as in my 500 000 holes in my brain and also in my back and stomach and i started smoking out of the holes well smoky i'm glad that you called in, or whether I'm glad that the switchboard operator was able to get your smoky, stinky ass on my fucking radio station,

because I think that you have a pretty interesting story to tell. You used to be the touring bass player for Mexican Lizard. Is that true? Yes. Now, what was it like touring with the Mexican Lizard. Is that true? Yes. Now, what was it like touring with the Mexican Lizard? It was always stressful because I didn't know how to play guitar. Yeah, you were the bass player,

so obviously you wouldn't need to be doing all that. Yeah, I thought it was drums. But it was hard to hold drums. Yeah. Easy to hold a bass guitar, but I only knew how to play drums. I just never knew how I could play them well, but I couldn't hold them all at once. Yeah, I mean, I don't think, you know me, I don't think that's how you're supposed to play them.

But then again, I ain't no musician. I'm just a motherfucking groove doctor. So what was it like? So I know you went on tour. What was the album that you wrote with the Lizard? I wrote Basking in the Sun and I Got This Lizard Dick Out, watching for all the lizard ladies to come and suck on it. Yeah, I remember that one.

That one came out right before Nirvana's Neverminds. And the popular, sorry, that album was so popular, it kind of overshadowed what you were able to do with the lizard I hate Nirvana because we had baby penises Involved in our work way before them And we didn't even tell people Yeah you didn't even get permission to shoot that photo did you Right we just had a lot of Pools with cameras in them.

Just make sure there were no gators. Yeah, yeah. You're a real South Florida OG. So you recorded Baskin and the Sun with his lizard dick out, checking to see if all the lizard ladies would come suck on it. 1991, I believe.

And then after y'all went on a brief hiatus, because Mexican Lizard had a bit of a drug problem, what was it like dealing with that? And then what was the second album that y'all produced? It was awesome second album that y'all produced? It was Awesome Dealing With That. Did you like to see the lizard struggle with heroin addiction? Yeah, I always thought it was funny. And whenever he was having withdrawals really bad and he would say,

please give me more heroin, I would always make sure to get it for him even when his withdrawals weren't that bad even when he had suboxone and stuff for him to safely withdraw sometimes he would be clean for a few months and then I would start shooting him up in his sleep and then I would put cigarettes in his bum and I would draw use whipped cream to make a mustache on his face. And he would wake up super high and I would say, hi, you have a mustache. And also you're addicted to heroin again. Yeah, y'all used to play crazy ass motherfucking pranks on each other on them tours. Yeah, like I used to have nightmares and then he would wake me up and my family would be skinned

in front of me yeah classic ass pranks from the mexican lizard and then he would say ah now your nightmares aren't that bad because he probably didn't dream about this yeah so like sorry i just get i'm getting choked up thinking about, because I know how important your family is to you, Smokey John. Well, they were, yeah. And he. When they had skin, now they're so sensitive.

Yeah, their skin didn't grow back too good. No, they can't sit down or their bums stick to the chair, and it's horrible with their nerves. So I have to kill them every day until they grow back. it down to their bum, stick to the chair and it's horrible with their nerves. So I have to kill them every day until they grow back. So you have a family of like axolotl type humanoid creatures?

It's like a hackberry tree that you keep cutting down and it keeps growing back. You're a real spooky-ass motherfucker, Smokey-Ass John, and you slick as hell with it. What do you mean by that? Yeah, when Spooky Smokey John come out,

the ladies better start running. I like to take a pussy. Yeah, that's right. If you're listening to this And you a A sexy ass Lady of the night That goes around

Looking to get spooked You talking to the OG spooky ass Motherfucker Smokey John Smokey John Thanks for calling No Problem

I hope you get to Haunting some real Sexy ass motherfucking Ghost type I just want cigarettes. What? Cigarettes. Yeah, I know you smoke them.

Do you have any? Nah, the group doctor don't smoke. Group doctor live a life of fucking piety. 2,350,201,251,250,000,000 of them. Yeah, while you were on the show, you smoked that many. Yeah, goodbye. Yeah Sorry Smokey is another one of them fellas I know quite some time

I know Smokey I've known Smokey His fucking stinky smoking ass for like fucking 85 years. The groove doctor always gets a little sad when his friends call him on a show and I hear they're not doing too good. We've talked to so many great people. We talked to, man, who was that first motherfucker that I spoke to? I don't remember his name, we spoke to harry mcgary we spoke to kumbaku in the cave with him sexy ass hyenas and then they had a british

in there for some reason and then we spoke to bessie lou's train track living ass with her people head ass table ass grandfather and then we spoke to dopey who almost who won 17 to be paid out in a 150 000 a year and then we spoke to smoky john and i think if the show timing is correct we got time for your most special caller of the evening the grooviest sexiest motherfucker i know hey I know y'all been waiting because we always close out the show with this special motherfucker. He won the sexiest plate of a fucking year award with that stick-ass, slick-ass fucking pole. And he won the nastiest get-down motherfucker at the Hootenanny with the greasiest box in the world. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado,

your last call of the evening at 5101 Group. Say what's up. Oh, hey. How's it hanging? Hey, it's hanging pretty good, bro. Why don't you introduce yourself to the folks at 5101 Guru. Oh, sorry.

I had to clean my throat. How we doing? How we doing in the spot? Yeah. My name is... Yeah. Yeah. My name is Oolalela Lo.

Oolalela Lo Jones. I thought your name was just mmm. My name is mmm. Oolalela Lo Jones. Yeah, that's right. I didn't forget. We've been best friends for so long. You've been coming on 5101 Groove.

And everybody loves to hear from Oolah Layla Ola Jones. So why don't you hit him with what's been going on in your life? Oh, what's been going on? Well, a wise man never kisses and tells. But Lord, Lord, if I did, oh, I don't know if y'all would have time on this here radio show. And I know it's a lot of children listening at home. Close your ears because the big boys are talking.

But yeah, I've been mostly working at my job at Home Depot lately. But I also, I've been buying Rolos at Quick Trip and eating those in my car. And I like to, whenever I eat them, I take the foil off with my tongue. And then I fold it into a foil airplane. And I fly at them bitches with my tongue and I hit them and then they look and they see a foil rolo airplane on their shoulder. They unwrap it and written in perfect tongue writing, it says,

Will you get your pussy eaten buy me a hundred times tonight? Please let me do it. Please. I need to do it. I need to do it. I love your perfume. I love you. I want you to be my wife.

I do this every day at every gas station where I live. Mostly around the Macon, Georgia area. Sort of outskirts of the you know, it's about an hour outside Atlanta, I believe. It's about an hour by car. It's about

50 hours by tongue. Yeah, I remember that was your favorite pickup line when we used to Yeah When we used to prowl the streets together You'd say I live In a trailer park

About an hour Outside of Atlanta But 50 hours By tongue Yeah You know how people say Oh that's about 10 minutes

As a crow flies Yeah I live about 50 years From Atlanta As the tongue licks Yeah that's crazy And I really appreciate you sharing that

Because here's the thing We got a lot of young guns And we're listening to the groove doctor 5101 groove And they don't know They don't know nothing about talking to no Lady who go to the gas station Just to get some coffee before work

They say Oh she don't want to be bothered listen every woman that walks into gas station want to be bothered they try to get bothered up by the king of bothering bitches the king of licking girls and kissing them on the leg or something yeah sorry i keep getting some of my... I think there's some sort of dander issue at the Groove Studios. Yeah. Girl, you ever had your forehead I don't know,

patted or something? Girl, you ever had your forehead smashed over? Girl, you ever had the back of your head turn to the front of your head? Yeah, the thing about, the thing a lot of people... I know Egyptians. Yeah, I know what that means for sure. The thing about Ooh La La Jones is it, if you're not aware, now you know.

You're talking to one of the smoothest lady killers south of the mason dixon girl i was born in florida georgia alabama that's a town yeah for sure you ain't never been to florida georgia then you ain't even from Alabama. Yeah, and I know that's true. And another thing I want to ask you is, so what's on, I know that you love records. You call me up every day and you say, I put this record on and then I put my pants down and I put my butt cheeks up to the window for 17 hours when I get off of work at Home Depot

until the SWAT team comes to my house and shoots me one billion times with bullets in my chest, body, and neck. But the thing is, is a lot of motherfuckers don't know what you be listening to in that sexy-ass bachelor pad condo you got in Florida, Georgia, Bama. So why don't you hit the young guns with some knowledge and tell them what you been bumping to in your bachelor bumper. Oh, when I get in my whip, you mean?

Yeah, when you get in your whip and head home from Home Depot to show your ass cheeks to the SWAT team for 17 hours before they shoot you one billion times in the head, neck, and chest. Oh, yeah. Lately, what my latest dig have been. I like to get into some some Sweatmaster Rudicon in the

Sweatmaster Rudicon in the 315 355 dancing helping out men. Yeah. The and my favorite record

by them is put some grease on that thing and slide it back in me you fucking dumbass. You ever heard that one? Most people haven't. I was getting choked up again thinking about some of the guests I had on the show.

Yeah, if y'all missed that, if you were getting high speed chased by Harry McGarry and you missed that, that's Sweatmaster Rudacons And the 355 dancing helping men Sorry I can't stop crying And Yeah sorry

And their most popular single Dropped 1922 Grease that thing Yeah it's tough It's tough out here to be in a group It's called to grease that thing. Yeah, it's tough. It's tough out here to be the group doctor. It's called Grease That Thing Up

and put it back in me, you fucking dumbass. Yeah, that's the name of the track and I'm so glad that you bring that track up, specifically that artist because the Swe because the Sweatmaster Rudicon and the 355 Dancing Helping Men. Sorry, I get sad thinking about them.

They died in that carousel crash. Yeah, that Ferris wheel. Yeah, the Ferris wheel crashed into the carousel, and all the unicorns died. Ferris wheel crashed into the carousel and all the unicorns died. So that track also, that album also had the song that was playing at the chain gang outdoor prison where we met. You remember that song? Yeah. By the same group. Yeah, Sweat Master Rudicon and the 355 Dance to Help Them In.

Yeah. Yeah, Sweat Master Rudecon and the 355 Dance to Help Him In. Yeah, it was called Spread That Thing Open, Quit Your Job, Get Back Here, and Let Me Do My Best. Yep, that was it. I was having a hard time remembering it. And I'm getting choked up thinking about you and me just fucking building Tonka Trunks together. Out on the chain gang in Florida, Georgia. And look at us now. You work at Home Depot and I got my own radio show. Two legends in our own right.

Two legends that get so much fucking crazy psycho ass fucking nasty. Oh, yeah. I can't, fucking nasty. Oh, yeah. I can't even describe it. Yeah, legally. You tell me. You've been telling me off the air the shit you've been doing, and I say, you better fucking get your ducks in a row before you go upstate to the fucking,

to the sexy-ass motherfucker prison where they break it down over your shit like a goddamn bag of ice. I make Robert Kelly look like Mother Teresa. Ooh, wee. a prison where they break it down over your shit like a goddamn bag of ice i make robert kelly look like mother theresa oh we and that is and and on that note fellas thank you so much for listening to five one-on-one groove with my best friend ooh la la jones and all our guests harry mcgary best lou uh dopey don't forget to donate to dick was dope his foundation and and also we had and all our guests, Harry McGarry, Bessie Lou, Dopey. Don't forget to donate to Dickless Dopey's Foundation. And also we had Kumanduku, that motherfucker living in a cave with hyenas.

We got one more ad read. Listen, this is our 50,000th radio show, and we got to thank all friends at Pendejo Time for keeping the radio on. Ain't that right? Yeah. And sex.

Yeah and sex too. We can't be forgetting about that type of shit. So if you want to go on sex.com slash patreon.com slash Pendejo Time and toss them

five dollars a month, that means the studio can stay open and we can have more sexy ass grooves. If you give them $10 a month, the studio gets fucking 10,000 times bigger and we let kids come in here too. Yeah. Yeah, we can open up a school

where it teaches all the classes. It teaches them how to fuck it up. I'm the headmaster. Yeah, you don't got to think too much about what that means. Ten bucks a month and five bucks a month gets you access to all them discords and shit and episodes and the goddamn video episodes we throw out once a month and all the bonus episodes and all the backlog shit. We got a fucking show. We don't got a show.

5101 Groove does not have a show. Them motherfuckers and Padejo Boys got a show in the Windy Bean Boy City where all the fucking beaniest ass motherfuckers hang out in front of that silver ass nutsack.

That's going to be at Schuber's Tavern. $25 online. $30 of the dough. And if they sell it out. I was told that one of them gets to kill Hillary Clinton. Damn. Who knows what it's going to be.

I'd rather do something else for her. What would you rather do? Fornicate. Hell yeah. And on that note, thanks for listening. I'd let her give me lesions. Hell yeah. I love lesions. Lesions are fucking sexy as fuck.

Lesion of Coon. Anyway, that's 5101 Groove. I appreciate y'all. Thanks for everybody calling in. Fucking sayonara, you dumbass piece Groove. I appreciate y'all. Thanks for everybody calling in. Fucking sayonara, you dumbass piece of shit. Bye-bye.