Pendejo Time - AI dreams (Ft. Derek Putin)

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

our friend Derek joins us on this episode to chat AI and our perfect AI dreams Support the show

But I gotta try it I gotta try it. Yeah, that was that was yeah. Yeah, the premium was fun me and Tom I'm pretty I don't do that. I had a hard time sleeping after that one. We're recording Hey everybody Welcome to the show the fruit a per day of time free be we're with our buddy Derek Putin. What's going on Derek? How you doing, bud? Not much just chilling. I hit the pen a bunch of times, probably hit it another time. Hit the pen? What is it? Delta? Or is it legal? Nah, just a weed. Legal.

Oh, nice. So the vape store by me has a pen that is kratom and mushrooms and weed. And it's called Redacted. And I don't, like every time I go over there, no one's bought one. Like they're always like completely full. In Texas, like we have all the fake drugs. Like we have the mushroom chocolates that are like Amanita Mascaria and then like some research chemical.

And then, you know, like Delta-8 and all that that shit and then they have like the Kratom like liquid. I guess I'm just curious I don't want to buy like I do want to know how it feels but I think it would give me like an immediate art deck you know like something that's just a painkiller a mushroom and weed like there's no way that that doesn't immediately cause like damage forever. Also the name is redacted I don't think you should smoke anything called redacted, but that's me personally Yeah, like I would be fucking I Don't know me. I'm just a weak link so I'd be scared. I would never just fucking come back from that Yeah, yeah, yeah, so like an evil

There's a type of person. I think that I've met him a lot like Living in Austin and going to college where they're like they talk about the trip like bad trips is like I learned so many lessons Like there's always a lesson to learn like oh like you just need to like Like give in like let it take you brother and then like go on the journey. And my God, what journey man, like thinking I have every type of cancer. I'm like, so good. I get the, like thinking that I like everybody in my life. It was like planted there to like, you know, navigate or to like Truman show me into becoming like an open mic comedian.

I get it. Sometimes when I smoke, but it's pretty rare I'll start thinking I'm a grandma that you're a grandmother that I'm my grandma oh do you feel sexy when that happens no but she died at 23 oh no so like that's that's just me being fucking stupid because she was born on leap year day So it's like she was in her 90s because it was oh every four years. Oh Okay fucking like dad joke she would make about it. Oh, okay. That makes more sense fucking rock though because she was like she was one of the old type of Staten Island people like from when before they made the bridge so

like the Irish person that like really hates Italians and Germans so like Catholic trash that hates like two percent different Catholic trash yes yeah yeah yeah yeah that you you mentioned when you when we were talking about having you on that like I guess you have a true to life New Yorkers understanding of the various caste systems and you know like different type of so stat long island is the one that everybody hates or is that Staten Island like everybody needs both of them but stand on at least like they got Wu Tang they uh there's like some art and culture that's come out of there meanwhile like the biggest bands like I'm just talking

rock I think there was some like 80s old school ba-doop ba-doop ba-dup ba-dup ba-dup type rappers that came out there but the biggest bands that came out of fucking uh Long Island were Blue Oyster Cult and Dream Theater. Those are two bad yeah Dream Theater is pretty cool. I bet, but is, you're from Staten Island? Yeah, we lived in, we lived in South Brooklyn when I was a kid, but then my, I ended up moving in with my dad's family for a while because they like split up when I was literally probably like six weeks old.

Oh, your parents? Yeah. Yeah, just like. What a, and so you guys like, so like, probably like six weeks old. Oh, your parents? Yeah. And so you guys like, so like, I guess what's the, what is the thing about, why do people hate Staten Island? Like, what is the thing or like, is it just not a part of the official pros or whatever? It just fucking sucks, bro. Thomas, you kind of know now, you're official New York head.

I haven't been over there Not really out of spider or anything. I just haven't had anything I go places when I have something going on over there But I've heard I mean I actually I met a guy who's from Staten Island a few months ago And I was just trying to make conversation because I didn't know Yeah, you know he was he said he's from Staten Island, few months ago, and I was just trying to make conversation because I didn't know You know he was he said he's from Staten Island, and I was like oh, it's kind of like There's a lot of like suburbs and stuff out there right and he was like offended by me saying that

And I was like Like that was a knock on Staten Island, and I was like whatever it's good. I a knock on Staten Island and I was like whatever it's gonna I don't think it's exclusive obviously to New Yorkers to have like I'd rather go to the Staten Island in the Bronx I don't know what I like it's not exclusive to have like pointless pride and like like where you're from but I guess because New Yorkers are so like that like there's pride in the borough I I guess I don't know Texas is fucking because there's burrow pride There's like that there are people who were born in Brooklyn who were like I will never Leave Brooklyn like I will never live in an apartment that is Like one block over from Brooklyn, but in Queens take okay

yeah, there are people who, and they think like, they think other boroughs are like, I think it depends on the culture they're from, but a lot of people think like, oh like, Queens is soft, like Manhattan, that's not even New York, like Brooklyn is a real New York, and Staten Island, you know, it's just some island out there, that's not even real New York York real New York is right here

And we got it all going on and then everybody in New York is just doing the same stuff There's nothing it's all the same Yeah, I guess like yeah, I don't I don't know. I'm not really like whenever people like talk like they're like the Texan pride thing is like so backwards because there's this idea that like You know like we can be our own country like that you hear that like from like Thomas I hear originally you're from Texas, so you get it, but like you literally hear that like from Elementary school like it's a piece of pop culture knowledge that you kind of accept as fact Until you get old enough to be like, that's the dumbest fucking shit I've ever heard in my life. Or

like, or you can't, like they can't actually be their own country. And the only guys that want to do that, by the way, like don't understand how that, like how that would affect their life. They usually like work in some sort of, know blue-collar field where like a lot of the fucking You know labor is subsidized by like undocumented immigrants or they like, you know They they don't benefit in it. They wouldn't benefit in any way from it It would just make their lives worse in every possible way There's actually people like there's an analog to that in Staten Island like there's been like every 20 or 30 years there's

this oh should we secede from New York City vote that goes on and like nothing has ever come of it because it's like some like non-binding vote type deal. Oh that actually fucking reminds me of somebody speaking of like Staten Island retards. So when I was in the group home that I was in upstate like for a couple years, because like my mom's gone crazy and all, one of the guys that was in there with me was like from Staten, he was like from South Shore, which is like varies from just like, oh, you got, you know, like, your Italian guys and your Russian guys and your Irish guys who work for the city or whatever to like real fucking like the closest you get to like a Northern hick.

And this guy, after you got out of the fucking group home, he was, he got arrested at school a bunch of times. I don't remember why, but I remember looking him up on Facebook, like, probably around the time of the pandemic, and he's, he had the go back to your country goatee, he had a Confederate flag hanging behind him, and he's like, live it in fucking Great Hills, or one of those like, real like, left corner of the asshole nowhere type neighborhoods. Uh-huh. He was in the group home, and was he like, was he a fucking, did he love his country

then or was he just kinda hanging out? I knew him because this crazy kid in like my like cottage dorm deal who thought he was psychic hung out with him. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Oh dude, the fucking, the psychic kid was like eight kinds of crazy, bro. He was like, he He fucking learned Greek so people like couldn't read his journal. Like, he learned the alphabet. Like, I don't think he was like saying whatever in Greek. Yeah, he just learned the alphabet. Um, he said that he could like drain people's mental energy

That's so it's the other fucking thing. Oh, I still hear from him like once every five years He just like sends you a Greek message like reading your thoughts brother and then just like the fucking doesn't talk to you again No, he calls it my grandma like every five years and it's like the stuff he says So like my grandma like God rest her soul mall cuz like she actually died last year sign up I'm gonna hear from Justin like, my grandma, like God rest her soul, cause like, she actually died last year, so I don't know if I'm gonna hear from Justin again, but he was like, the stories that she said he told him are like, he would get kidnapped by like, the FBI, get beaten up, and then they would just leave him at the ER. Like, we're gonna torture you, but it's gonna be a GTA game over. It's so funny to be like one of those schizophrenic

guys who thinks, because my dad was kind of that way, where it's like you think the government is after you because you can see the matrix codes, but your story, you don't have like a grand, your delusions don't have like a grand narrative. You're like, yeah, they just kidnapped me and beat the fuck out of me. me at the emergency room like you don't have a secret tome. You don't have like esoteric knowledge or nothing You're just like yeah, I just keep getting I just keep getting punched in the nose by the CIA I got thrown in the tickle van The codes yeah, they knew I knew the codes bro Yeah, there was a guy in the mental hospital I went to who

He he just was there on a court order They gave him an I think they gave him like an option of like go to the facility Or like go to jail because he had snapped and beat the fuck out of his neighbor over like a minor dispute, I think like something like their lawn or whatever and he wasn't crazy I guess in the sense of like a psychosis but he was one of those guys that were like it looked like you know you like I'm all about respect and you're like yeah no for sure man like respect's important he's like no I don't I don't think you understand nobody in here understands like respect is the thing that like

Tethers man to mankind like it keeps us together and if you disrespect somebody They have every right to fucking kill you in front of your family. You'd be like Sick man, like I don't I don't think I'm not gonna disagree with you because you're in here for like pulling a man's jaw off like a chimp but like I don't I like that type of mentality of like hey listen man like You know everything in life is bullshit except respect Like you got to respect your elders you got to respect me And then is coming it's always coming from a guy who like beats the fuck out of his whole family

It's never never caught. I never hear a guy talk about respect that is like genuinely like understands how to interact with human beings. It's always like, dude, you got to fucking. But if you don't if you disrespect me and my family, bro, like, dude, I don't even know you. I have no idea. I don't know. I don't know how any of this shit works. I'm just here because I got really depressed

probably from doing too much cocaine. And now I have to fucking sit here and make art collages with like you and like 10 other schizophrenic women. Okay so question for you bro do you think that that's a slightly different type of guy than a the uh he disrespected me guy or like the same no not fucking he disrespected me guy or like the same? No, not fucking he disrespected me guy. Do you know who the fuck I am guy? Oh yeah, yeah. I think that, do you know who the fuck I am guy? At least in my experience, and I worked at a lot of the bars when I first moved to Austin, but the do you know who I am

guy almost always comes from a place of privilege. Like, or like perceived privilege of like, you're not just another guy at the bar, you're going to be somebody someday, or you're related to somebody. Whereas the respect guy I think is just poor, and he probably was raised by somebody who was like a man keeps his word. Now that doesn't mean loyalty or honesty. In fact, I rip people off and steal from them I still copper out of their trucks and stuff what that means is it if you ever say anything or around me that I could

Perceive as a threat I'm gonna fucking beat the fuck out of you So I think one probably comes from a place of you know privilege and understand like I you know my dad's a lawyer You know and the other guy probably just doesn't have a dad Like you know my dad's a lawyer you know and the other guy probably just doesn't have a dad Around at all or if he was he was like a insane alcoholic. What do you think Thomas? I? Think it is Similar in a way. I think a lot of people walk around like There's a beautiful IQ range where you walk around forgetting that People haven't met you

yet. Yeah. And people are thinking about like the people are the main characters of their lives. Mm-hmm. And I think it allows for some incredible interactions and Approaches to this life we live I noticed it a lot I with You see a lot of more like verbal Arguments in the street here just because a lot more people are walking or riding bikes and stuff So you get to actually see a lot more arguments here

You know usually there's just something silly and usually they you know usually just a brief you know it's like fuck you follow yeah you know then they storm off but I saw these two I saw these two as they'd say old heads today arguing in the street and they were both dressed like like 70s pimps And one of them one of them is in a wheelchair But he was rolling like with one hand and like a really cool way like like he was spinning the wheel on like a like a spinner rim or something and They were having an argument down the middle of the street really slow

Like neither of them were on the sidewalk and they're both like well one is walking the wrong way down in one way and the other is rolling behind him arguing and You could tell it was a situation where like they were both Probably the shit back in the day like one of them had on a leather like a leather trench coat and like gator shoes and all that and the other had on like a fucking like weird like python fucking scarf and like a Crazy fedora and all that east and I was like I was in my head. I was like, this is the first disabled pimp I've ever seen You really like to the first disabled pimp I've ever seen.

You really like to be a disabled pimp, you really have to, um, I know we have a lot of disabled pimps in the audience. Yeah. Um, disabled pimp community, but like you really gotta be able to talk that talk cause she can't probably like, you might not even feel it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like if you're, if she- Yeah, do they have to like use the claw to pinch a girl's ass or Because she can't probably like you might not even feel it. You know what I mean? Yeah Yeah, it's like use the claw to pinch a girl's ass or something. Yeah. Yeah, well yeah, and like if your girl Just is walking away She's getting a quick stride as soon as she gets up some stairs You better have some game. You better be able to say some game Anyway, but you could tell those were two That really wasn't super related to actually to what I was asked but it was something I did bring up today

It's a good story though, I like how there's like some guys Can't let go of the last time they were cool Like in it every every aspect of their personality like exudes that I feel like you see it a lot Like Thomas like when you worked in like you work like kitchen jobs and construction jobs in my experience kitchen jobs specifically We're like the line cook or one of the cooks or one of the dishwashers was probably a line cook or a dishwasher when he was like 23,

but also was like maybe like a traveler, you know what I mean? Or just maybe like a fucking, maybe he sold acid to like the Grateful Dead like 10 times. And so that part of their personality is still the only thing that ever went right for them and Maybe that guy in the wheelchair wasn't in one Maybe he was like at like an abled pimp like an able-bodied pimp

But like your mind doesn't age in the same way that your body does especially if you're a real motherfucker With a with a python scarf and a fucking fedora so you can't you gotta have the walk the walk and the talk but even if you can't walk you know what i mean like you that never leaves you the pimp never leaves you even if your body fails you you know what i mean yeah and i really feel like if you were like at that height if you're able to Wear an outfit like that with the fedora and python scarf and everything Like without looking like a complete fucking asshole back in the day like you get to do it forever You just get grandfathered in that's what huh? No you like yeah, maybe you can't walk But you stay at the same like level of coolness

Yeah, yeah. At least in your mind, you never fucking really like... I don't know. I think the worst thing that can happen to a guy is probably getting raped and then dying. But I think one of the other worst things that can happen to a guy is like never experiencing certain milestones that allow you to move past the idea of impressing other people in a certain way. You know what I mean? Like, like, you know, I see it a lot in music and I haven't seen it too much in stand up because the crowds per the per the the the talent or whatever people doing is pretty young for the most part, but it's this like Arrested development with the combination of like year 55 or 56 and maybe older and think Thomas probably in your in this case of your

story were like You never get out of the idea of like I need to seem cool to people I need to seem awesome I need to seem cool to people. I need to seem awesome. Yeah. Alright, so legit, I swear to God I'm not lying, but my dad partially became a forum guy when he was like 55 for that reason. That's awesome. Do you remember which one? Yeah, he got back into guitar after like, after I'd been playing for years, so it's not like, oh, your kid picks up a guitar at 13, and it's like, oh, I'm gonna get back into it as well. I'd been playing for, yeah, probably like five or 10 years

then he got a Les Paul, and he would tell me about his arguments with people on the My Les Paul forums. Yeah, fuck yeah. Like that's such an awesome forum for a guy, like guitar. I was hoping you were gonna say like if your dad was like a something awful guy Which would have been fucking sick like or like I've been I'll buy no black sheep one of those like you know new grounds or whatever fucking forums, but That's funny as fuck to just like having a niche hobby and then being in the community and being like

Like did was he retired when he was doing that or was he just fucking? to just like having a niche hobby and then being in the community and being like like was he retired when he was doing that or was he just fucking my dad was weird as fuck because he like never truly retired he like he was working at Bloomberg like when i was a kid and to like he wasn't and then he was doing like local IT stuff like setting up networking and things like that for like small businesses in New York this is back like early Bush era like 2004 and then we just like kind of stopped working like you they they split up when I was young and then both my parent both my parents moved in with their parents and like my my mom went back to school, became

a nurse, and like, my dad just sort of just hung around. Nice. Kind of fucking beats. Because like, you're talking about, what was it, former glory type guys? That makes me think, when I was like 13, I don't remember where I was, but my dad was saying something or other to me and he was like When I was your age, I got more ass than a toilet seat When you were 13, you know

15 at the absolute max that's so funny. Yeah the the That's another thing like I think that generation previous or two generations before us like Thomas maybe we've talked about this but like My uncles are like my older like cousins which are just my dad's friends. They would say similar stuff like Man when I was in 7th 8th grade we were I was getting nothing but pussy. I'm like I think you were getting raped Like I think there's this I like there's definitely a type of older guy. That's like, yeah Yeah young and you're gonna I might like my dad would say shit like that too

I just six seven grades like you're gonna start hitting this to the skating rink and then it's all downhill from there You gotta be chasing pussy and then pussy be chasing you and I was like I'm just trying to learn how to kickflip I just got Tony Hawks underground like I have no I don't think pussy's like in my in my like wheelhouse right now but at that generation getting like the I guess you didn't have the phone or in you know the only game you had was pong so you just went out and got molested by like by like older women in the neighborhood or like other... Also probably, I feel like if it happens like one time, when you're at a certain age, it's like you might, then you kind of just in your head,

that's all you were up to during that time. It's all you're gonna remember. Yeah, yeah. If you're 15 and you get laid or whatever, that's all you really remember from around that time You didn't have much else going on probably. Yeah So then it only if that's your only pertinent memory or like I think I was pretty much every day like all different yeah all different types of women and everything just like

Just exploring everything in that world had to offer. Yeah Also, they're probably lying like I added that yeah, like after my dad died I came to the conclusion and I should have come to it earlier But I was like I think my dad was just making stuff up like almost all the time like constantly because I got to know him as like a person and then you're like, I don't think you were like like like jumping dirt bikes and having sex with like Metallica roadies in the 80s. I think you probably were on a tugboat

thinking about killing yourself. Cause that, like just from what I've gathered now, you know, like yeah, we used to follow Metallica around town and we had found around the whole country, we'd get in my buddy's vein and we'd follow him around. We'd, dude, some of them girls that follow them around some of them groupies. Oh, man They'd fuck just about anybody I'm like, maybe that's true or maybe it's true that you and like five of the worst guys you knew

Just like inhaled VHS cleaner for like 10 years and drove around in like a shitty fucking like half-ton van and Tried to have sex with girls named like, you know double dice that you just met at a Metallica show and Maybe one and then that girl was like I used to fuck Lars Ulrich And you would believe her because you were trying to have sex with her so you could a have sex with a woman and B Tell people that you fucked somebody who fucked one of the guys from Metallica Which is you know for a certain type of guy in that time was probably the coolest fucking thing that could ever happen to anybody You know what I mean? So what's the equivalent now?

What time what's the equivalent now? Actually, I I had face time sex with this This girl and she actually opened for snow strippers one time And she actually opened for snow strippers one time It was kind of cool. I've been fucking on this girl. He used to who used to stay at Faze Banks is stream house Probably something like that like it's probably like yeah like dude dude I hooked up hooked or like yeah hooked up with this girl dude. She used to follow around David Dobrik And you're like I don't you know I don't know if any of this is true, because I have no idea what that world's like

and what they admire. But I have a feeling it's like, because when I was in college, I knew a bunch of, not a bunch, but like, it was not uncommon to hear some story about like, girls that like in the same circle of friends that I have that had gotten DM'd by riff raff, and that was cool to them.

And then come to find out riff raff was DMing like, riff-raff and that was cool to them and then come to find out riff-raff was DMing like Allegedly not women that were always above it's called networking It's called cold you got cold calls cold emails cold everything. Yes, sir. That's one way to get cold snapchat He was cold snapchatting women to get them to go to his shows. That's why he sells out arenas now Have you seen his recent music videos? They're all like AI. I think he really likes AI which makes sense I think he's made some good music recently. He did a song with Young lean in like Thai boy goon and those guys last year. That was actually pretty good Did you uh, did you guys see- He was young leaning blade.

Young leaning, oh he's getting, I see, he's tapping into the young crowd. Respect to mister, his name is Horst, which is so badass. Horst, what's his last name? Oh Riff Raff's name is Horst? Yes, Horst. Horst Simcoe, I think? Horst. Yes Horst Horst Simcoe, I think Horsepower horse to power. Yeah horse riff ref name. Yeah, his name is Horst Simcoe, which

He's from Texas, but I'm like, what is that name? Yeah, that sounds like one of those South African names like like There will be like a new actor or like a UFC guy and his name is like like a Lepkus a Mark run dog oh he's from Katie yeah he's yes what made it Ronald Simcoe Vietnam war but it was severe post-traumatic stress disorder Who oh therefore they're German and Lithuanian Jews I Guess that makes sense He's from Copperfield Swagged out mr. Riff raff. Did you guys see the Trump Gaza video? I

Saw that first thing I woke up and I'm like what the fuck is going on It was just like this is I'm like what the fuck is going on It was just like this is If it was any about anything other than fucking Gaza because that whole thing pisses me off I would have thought it was hilarious. Yeah, I'm willing to admit that yeah it I Was reading an article about how like AI is like the new you know the far-right embraces it or whatever for a bunch of different reasons, but I was like in the video so for those who are not initiated Trump posted on his truth social account a video it was a song an AI generated song called Trump Gaza and

it was like Trump Gaza brand new light no more tunnels no more fright Trump Gaza lighting the way Trump Gaza gold today or something and the whole video was an AI generated video of Elon Musk eating like balaclavas on the baklava on the beach and on the beaches of Gaza. And there were bearded women dancing on the beach. And Trump, in one of the videos, approaches what looks to be like a Latino woman in a club

and has his hand on her waist and is dancing with her. And then it cuts back to Elon Musk like eating some sort of pastry on a Gazan Beach and Then it's like the end of it says Trump Gaza on a big golden tower Somewhere I guess in among the rubble or whatever and I saw that and I was like I We don't do anything cool really in this country. I guess Luigi did something, but like we don't do anything. We have all these guns and all we do is like shoot each other.

Huh? Allegedly, we don't know. Oh, allegedly true. Yeah. Good point. We have all these guns and we only shoot each other or we like shoot ourselves over like gambling losses or we do family annihilation or whatever. Yeah, it's like, I don't know if I'm allowed to say this but I'm like if nothing like if there's no big news story about a serious attempt on one of those guys lives by like early 2026 you'd be like what the fuck is going on? Did somebody like

neuter the whole country? That would just be so difficult to believe because so many people are like losing their jobs and there was that thing I saw about Medicaid being cut and yeah thank you for bringing me on to Chapo. Yeah, I don't... I guess I like... There's a thing that keeps happening where one of these accounts... There's that rapper Tom McDonald. People are really into this stuff, like the AI-generated music and his thing, and I'm

like, do these people really like it or do they say they like it because it makes other people really mad like it makes them upset like it gets their jobs taken away or like Tom McDonald makes a song called I'm white and I got a bunch of money and then like it you know and who cares if I'm white like it like what is the motivating? Factor behind like getting into that shit. I would imagine it's just cruelty or stupidity or whatever the fuck But yeah when I saw that video I was like what? There's no way around that so I wonder how many gallons of water were used to make Trump Gaza You know what I mean like well how many you know?

How many leaves were burned down how many trees were destroyed for that sick-ass video? I don't really care about the environment. I think if it was maybe, if it was making awesome enough videos, it would be okay. So, but, okay. Like if we lost, if the last polar bears were wiped out to make the awesome the most Amazing sketch comedy video you've ever seen What if we okay if there was an AI episode of SNL, okay had all my favorites in there And some characters that I'd come up with okay but if we were able to do AI Chris Farley a sketch with AI Chris Farley Adam Sandler God rest his soul

mmm mousey cheese yep and maybe even some guys like Will Smith, okay or Ronald Reagan Yeah, or who else who's dead Genghis Khan We could do Napoleon Napoleon George Carlin what if Napoleon and George Carlin linked up? Yes, yeah, it was Hit the roast of Hitler. Oh Carlin yeah, it would be George Carlin

What's it Andrew Schultz? Mm-hmm Jeff Ross? Who else it would be Richard Huberman would be in there just to have Russell Brand Russell In there too Eddie Eddie is there Alec Baldwin mm-hmm God I wish Alec Baldwin would fucking shoot that guy. Yeah The AI roast of Hitler brought to you by SNL Yes, produced by Lorne Michaels produced by Lorne Michaels scored by Hans Zimmerman and

and Fucking and we should I would get fired from I would get fired from the roast of Hitler due to my problematic internet pass They wouldn't it wouldn't let you on the dais is what you're saying Yeah, but what if Hitler had an awesome clap back, and he kind of won us back oh I see what if Hitler had a clap back is an internet term a recent thing They've been saying okay if Hitler clapped back with something so savage That it blew Trump's orange toupee clean office Yeah, what if hit would just through some shade yeah, dude if Hitler if Trump could have seen Hitler It it would his face would have gone white for the first time since that orange paint ever hit it

Okay, now hear me out here what if um, what if AI Alec Baldwin was actually AI Will Smith and he thought Hitler was Chris Rock. So he slapped Hitler Love that. Now, what if're talking. Yes, I love that. Now you're talking. What if instead of, yeah, what if instead of FDR, what if it was, FDR was the president during World War II, right? He wasn't. Just to get that clear.

I knew, but I just wanted to clear that up with you guys. Wow, fucking idiot. I just wanted to clear that up with you guys. Wow. Harry Truman at the end, yeah. Yeah, what if instead of FDR it was DJT? And he was the one... And he was the one talking to...

And instead of Winston Churchill, it was... We could... Who do you think maybe? Michael Jackson. Owen Wilson. Owen Wilson. Owen Wilson, that would be funny.

See, if we could actually use AI for that stuff, that would be really good. And I fucked the penguins, who cares? How does that even directly work? Oh, it makes it hot whenever you put the words into it. Who? Fuck this. I think it's just to train it. It takes a lot of heat. And, okay, okay, it takes a lot of heat to train something.

Yeah, it took a lot of heat to train me not to touch the stove. Boo! Why do you have that ready? Take that off the soundboard. You don't like the boos? I don't like getting booed. No, I don't think anybody does. Yeah, you could throw a ghost on this show who wouldn't like getting booed.

And no, I don't mean like the ghost of Donald J. Trump's pride after the recent public humiliations he's gone through, including over 17 felonies Yeah, getting disgraced him for the public eye Yeah, and we could throw Bill Mayer on there to bill maher bill mayor

It's that's how it's spelled hey everybody don't name Come here be scolded Dare didn't come here watch me be scolded. He came here. Watch me be treated like a king I came here to go after my shit on camera. Yeah Fucking Jeffrey tube and that shit up tube and then we're fucking Derek we've been wanting to ask you this if there's one AI video that you could create using any technology this includes future technology So if you want to include smell taste anything like that because I've been thinking about AI

cheeseburgers that you could eat without getting pregnant that's typically not what I've gotten pregnant bro my past pregnancies have been the old-fashioned way. Yeah. Okay, so now we're in that awkward space. Okay, so here's what I'm thinking. I know that this is like a very, you know, conservative, deus-walt type of podcast. Like, usually like we start by doing like the Lord's Prayer and Queen Yekri or whatever. But what I'm thinking is we need to do something with what is the most inspiring thing on earth? Maybe the Grand Canyon. So we start off with the Grand Canyon, but get this. There is a little boy there. Okay. And this little boy is making an app. And what is the app called? The app is called common sense. It's where we invented common sense. We're making it a

Distributable immutable it's gonna be on the blockchain. We're gonna have our own Common sense that you can't like Once on the blockchain, it's real a guy at my gym told me that he's afraid like when he goes on cruises that his house is going to get stolen by squatters. So he minted an NFT of his house because once it's out there it's there forever. So you have that NFT, you own it forever. I minted NFT in my car and then I sell it to Thomas for 70 bucks. It's like, fuck you, I'm 70 bucks richer. You don't have a car. So we have this boy and what is the boy's name? The boy's name is Glebus. He doesn't need a last name because last names, they convey ethnicities

and we're thinking of the exact type of future that every comic in the 90s was talking about, you know, like we're seeing more interracial marriage, history with Zilber, Bill Clinton, and Serbian comedian was saying like, oh, we all keep fucking people from different races, we're all going to be, you know, like hot, caramel, kinda, but not exactly like Sicilian looking. Okay. So we've got Yung Libis, he's in the, the uh, fucking uh, Grand Canyon, right? And he's figuring out how to put common sense and decency on the blockchain. Cause it's like, cause here's the trick, it's gonna be actually a horror movie.

They're gonna do a rugp pull on common sense and kindness. And then you see a shadow come in, and like the shadow, it's kind of human shaped, and then it turns out to be Elon Musk. And you know what Elon does? Elon kisses this little boy Glebus. Okay so they've rug pulled common sense and decency and then and then Elon Musk kisses the boy and then what you said it's a horror movie to me this is mostly a love story what makes it scary well personally I don't approve of that

kind of thing you know I would never kiss anybody I don't know why you'd bring that up yeah crazy how he has all those kids but apparently it's like IVF yeah something like that yeah I mean what did you think? Did you know you think he supported Palestine? You know Yep Fuck you weren't there. Yeah, I don't care Well, I do care but I I wasn't saying I don't care about the situation over here uh I do care. I care deeply and I also care deeply about AI and the things that we

can make with it and I hate to say but I think I think AI could help with that but what do you guys Jake if you could create one AI video using any technology, including stuff that we're working on as a podcast. Uh-huh. Yeah. What do you think the perfect AI video would be? Or just AI idea even? I would love to be able to use artificial intelligence to help I would love to use I would use an AI video that would generate a video that would make

you so like you would feel actual genuine love for the first time and then you would make you feel so much love that you would never like want to like interact with human beings again and that would keep you I guess placated yeah as the rest of the economy was pulled out from under you and then you would stay inside all day and watch love video that would be the name of the streaming service. And yeah, it would be like a lady and she would be like standing on a cliff and the wind is billowing and then like a maybe like a Zorro looking guy would give her a kiss

and then the crowd would do this. And then basically after that you would never need to experience another human emotion again. And that would kind of, you would log on and you would watch love video, love stream, and yeah that's basically it. I think I just want people to feel good more than anything. Thomas, what would you make? I haven't really haven't thought much about anything like that before but I guess Okay, so be VR beaver, okay, yeah gold letters Got you like a, like a marquee.

Uh huh. The face in the pyramids with the nose broken off, but you can see the nose and it's Tom Cruise's face. Gotcha. Okay. B-E-V-R with the dollar sign ticker above it. And that's on the marquee and sets up the show tonight is The pyramid be Ticker Beaver Tom Cruise's ticker shut up And the music playing the music playing is really good in the background of this video, what does it sound like?

What do you think? It sounds like hip hop because hip hop is really, especially with the crew. Are you looking for a brand new way to create a sensational smile in your blockchain community? a sensational smile in your blockchain community here with ticker beef with beef beaver coin and the Tom Cruise a to AI pyramids we are going to make a blockchain getting blockchain rich fun and the beaver stands for yeah yeah I love that attitude you know what beavers do they build and And beavers just don't give a damn and that's why With a brand new coin and with the help of AI Egyptian Tom Cruise We are going to set this country back

centuries we going to, with this coin you can use it to buy anything and we mean anything and anybody. We can, we can, if you wanna, if you wanna buy the president a thousand beaver coin. And you can have them at your house and you can make them and you can make a master dishes Say roll up those sleeves Donny boy, and you better set the cuff links on the kitchen tray Cuz you're washing my dishes tonight. Give me a hand job Alright and now we have an a part of the AI Video I just realized that the video I haven't been describing have a part of the AI video.

I just realized that the video, I haven't been describing the video part of this at all. So it's Donald Trump and he's got a slightly, his back is wiggling a little bit because the AI isn't down yet, even in this perfect world. And he's got about 11 fingers on each hand and he's washing the hell out of the dishes he's got an apron on that says this is kiss me I'm the president chef he's got a big booty

and he's mopping he's wearing a maid outfit he's got high heels on but his ankles are bulging over so pyramid Tom Cruise is taking off his high heels kissing his toes and then Tom Cruise takes off his whatever Egyptians used to wear clothes wise, probably a gold robe, probably gold metal clothes and where normally it would have his penis, it's pixelated and it says ticker sign beaver yeah and then it says get rid of the text says get rich slow get get get beaver fast okay and that's

sort of all I got with that one but you know if you viewers at home want to make a long AI videos and email them to Jake Feel free to do so Feel free to a lot of people right now are skeptical on AI They think oh AI is gonna take your job. Not if you make your job AI Yeah, sir thinking about that. I have you actually when you actually start getting money start actually thinking about how you get rich. I've never been able to get any more. I want to be an AI postal worker. What do you mean like delivering AI mail? Creating mail through AI. Using AI to mail people

uh creating mail through AI using AI to mail people different pieces of artwork that I've created now is the artwork made by AI yes oh now we're cooking we're cooking with gas Alan Iverson dinosaur laughing or Shaquille O'Neal eating 100 pieces of burgers Or a car that's a hundred years old One time I got it to generate a picture of Batman holding a gun to his own head and I was like fuck Yeah, no, that's that's what you that's the best part of AI is making your dreams a reality. I sometimes have to use it for work and I have to make collages and stuff or web copy

that's like... The time that you spend putting it into the is like you could just write it. It'll be like write two sentences about buying this pairs of shoe and you're like I These shoes would go on your fucking feet dude And you walk around in them and everything goes good in your life after that and you'll never have any more regrets That's that's all you need for buying a pair of shoes Thomas everything okay with it. Did your penis fall on the ground? No, I had the my microphone cord wrapped around a mini trash can apparently Twisted and I pulled it

Well ladies and gentlemen we got him God, so one of my friends is really We got him. God, so one of my friends is really into chat GPT and like he says the funniest shit about it's like it's like a personal assistant I don't have to pay or give benefits to. And like this guy, he's like a construction project manager. So like he's doing well for himself. He's not like at the level where you're going to have like personal staff. Okay. At the level where you're going to have like personal staff Okay, it's so funny to be like that like yeah

um, I'd be like learned like seven ancient languages and like how to like do you like how to day trade just Through chat GPT. It's like if they can do that. That's cool I guess but I've never been able to do it for it to do anything like I think certain guys will say it does that Stuff maybe it does. I don't know I've never I've never been able to get it to do anything other than generate horseshit. I Just put him like oh write a cover letter for me And then I like change a couple of words put it in one of those sites that checks it for you It's like no this was human written and boom then we're done. Yeah, I don't know, I don't trust it, but then again I barely know how to turn

my computer on so I just fucking, you know, I just kind of like have a distrustful thing with anything that... Also I think it's just a big scam, like it can't like there's something about Microsoft like not investing any money in this stuff. I don't, I don't, dude, I don't fucking know anything. I don't know anything about this shit. I just hate it. Like, anything, I, like, I hate anything that these people get behind. I don't want it to, I don't want it to have any impact on my life. I don't want to have to use it. My life was just fine before.

And then I see people post, like, damn, I, like like why did I ever read books chat GPT just like summarizes them in like two pages I'm like dude. We're so fucked like we're so fucked like there's no way out You know what I mean unless you know we just blow up We we just turn all the servers into black glass, and then we just go back to oral traditions and that right Thomas Yeah, I got an oral tradition for you right here playboy what is it Thomas what is it it's called the it's called the get on these nuts tradition what happens when I do it your mouth what happens you know what happens no I don't know what happens what happens all the what happens to my balls stays to the balls welcome to Las Vegas happens to my balls stays to the balls. Welcome to Las Vegas.

What happens to my, nah listen you gotta say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Okay. Yeah. Ready, action. What happens to Vegas is gonna happen to you. Nope. No, I'm sorry.

That's close, that's closer than what happens to my balls stays to my balls, but I need it's just it's like nine words, man What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? Okay ready? Action if it's gonna it's gonna happen to me. It's only happening to me every time I go Vegas That is worse than the second time and worse somehow than the first time. All right, ready? Why I'm not a celebrity I don't know why you guys have me to be a spokesman for Las Vegas We run out of money because the AI shit went south. I thought I was supposed to be the spokesman I'm like, I really spokesman. I thought I was like big ass joints and blow hot smoke all over the mic

There's a spokesman. I blow joints so big you could You could it makes your ears hot hear it through the microphone that's my blood pressure that's yeah I smoke so much we can hear through microphones speaking of that blood pressure I want that steaks man get some protein going on the steaks man yeah what's the steaks man who makes the greatest steaks that was ever made by mankind he's like his body is a grill so he just like puts the steaks on his back and then you like eat it off his back like that fucking weird thing that they do in Japan with like with a business

people we like fucking sushi off naked women or whatever. It's so awesome I want to do stuff like that. I want to do that I'm gonna use stick up a lazy back and then just cut her spinal cord Oh, his knife is so sharp and you can't walk. Prank! Oh, you got pranked. You're so stupid. Compared to me and I'm famous. I'm a famous podcaster and you got pranked.

The Pideo time. I remember I saw a picture of Eddie Murphy eating a steak off a lady's back when I was a kid and I remember thinking how is he cutting it? Oh you thought maybe he had a plate on her or something maybe he wasn't actually eating it off her back it's probably just for a photo shoot what do you sorry go ahead what were you saying? What is it about eating stuff off ladies Thomas your opinion that makes it so desirable Yo, lady, I think it's a ladies part. Oh A ladies part. I think it's the part that it's with the lady damn

Damn, he treated her like a object. That's crazy Damn that bitch is like a table to him. That's cool as hell to me That would be like a once-in-a-lifetime experience going on deal with that one, but the Eddie Murphy This is this is up this lady's like a piece of wood What about get ready Murphy and he does get ready with me's and he puts on a big-ass red suit and his fucking leather pants leather shoes Yeah, leather underwear leather fucking leather hat with me is as I get as I prepare to use a homophobic slur How about Brady Murphy and?

He tastes good Yes, sir, that's why we pay you the big bucks Derek. That's why Derek comes out with the big cheese. What about, let's see. I bought spaghetti Murphy. Okay. Oh yeah it's yummy. That's how Italian people talk. Hi I like spaghetti! I love spaghetti! You can get it in my pot! Yes, I need a little pot that I can put the spaghetti in! Oh yeah, pizza! Yummy! I'm Italian!

I have a little cup of coffee, and I bring my bicycle. Oh, his special is yummy! Hello, I'm Freddy the Rooom! Oh, hello! I'm doing the Rush Malooms! special is yummy What about Freddie Mercury How about a Murphy Betty Murphy and he has money or no, he's fat because he's been eating so much Fuck Heddy Murphy sucking your shit fucking dry. Oh, yeah. Yeah a different kind of raw now

Yeah, because he's not usually I have a condom How about Chetty Murphy and he's made of cheese, yeah Yeah Let's go What about? Great I think I'm a stroke. How about machete Morphe? Okay, and you chop Hiya, yeah, what's your except in now he's got a weapon so this his wit is no longer Oh, yes All right, oh yeah Yeah

But they call me hard are I like the real the yeah, Derek the Derek Derek Putin. Hard are Yeah, there we go. Yeah, that's I think maybe I had to fucking change that because I was like looking up historical records and it's like, because my mom's family was Jewish. It was like actually originally from Ukraine. And it's like, I can't use that name anymore Derek pootis like that hit yeah Yeah, just I don't have any stake in it or anything, but it's like it kind of felt weird after that Oh, yeah understandable. Yeah, that's why I changed my name from Bob Hitler. We just you know we couldn't do it Yeah, that was my old old username Was it no my my what was my first one? I think I was just I think the one that I had last I think before the

It doesn't fucking matter. I'm gonna call somebody Hello Hey, how's it going? It's okay. This is Daphne. Who is it? See, I'm getting called by two people. Oh Daphne. So is Fred around or Velma? Fred Velma I'm not sure who you're talking about I live with my husband

Frederick is that long for is Fred short for Frederick? I thought it was short for- I thought Rick was short for Frederick. Is Fred short for Frederick? Rick is short for I'm Rick James, bitch. Mm-hmm. Is it sup- you don't call me that. You don't know that nobody calls me that, not even my husband. You know, I- I can't believe believe you call me and say that to me I can't believe it. Why who are you?

Who are you both of you how I get called by two people And the numbers are one and two those are how those phone numbers? I thought this was the government. Uh, oh, Rafny. Looks like a premise called you up. It says Scooby. No, that can't be Scooby. I don't want to talk to him. He tricked me. Is this a call from the number 12? That's Scooby's number. That's Scooby's number! No! Is it... No! Is it that person? Rafny, I think the trench will kill us!

No! Is that a third person? Hello? There's a rocket launching a left person! Help! Help me! Rafny, I think we're suffering from marble monoxide poisoning! Oh, are you okay Scooby? Hello, I'll answer that! No! I'm losing oxygen! Rafi I think we're suffering from one of the backside person

Okay, but I'm a dog too spiritually yeah Not really, I'm kidding. But I could call the dog hospital. I could call K911. Ha ha. K911, it's your dog. Raffy, I'm wrong, but what we able to play with? That's a spamsay. Scooby, do you need me to come over there?

And lay on you? Or should I drag you out by the tail? Raffney, what's this ritual harassment? Okay, well, Scooby, I think Frederick might be home soon. Should I tell him to call you? What can I tell him to call you okay well what if a rat with an escort what the fuck is that voice even I lost it like half I was like oh god there's- I'm getting another phone call!

To the sound. (*phone rings*) Keep doing it. No, keep doing it, I haven't answered yet. (*phone rings*) I don't really feel like picking up, I'll let it ring. Okay. (*phone rings*) Ah, maybe I'll answer it.

I think Raffy has repressed it. (*phone rings*) Hello? Maybe I'll answer it. I think we have to be has more pressure Hello Hey Thank you for My name is Jake and I'm the host of a podcast called Padajo time And I wanted to call you and thank you for coming on the show and thank you me. Yeah Oh, if this is this about the the cock sucking competition. I did recently Do I sucked all the come out of a bunch of cocks and let them fuck me in the ass

It is yes, Daphne it is congratulations. Thank you. You're welcome. I remember winning the best cocksucker award Thank you. You're welcome. I remember winning the best cocksucker award. Yeah, you won it. Congratulations, Raphne. Who the fuck? Yeah, well, congratulations on second scooping. Raku!

I think it was a technicality. I think it was just they thought because of your long tongue that you had an advantage. But you were doing stuff with it that I'd never seen even a dog do. What's even more impressive about that is that logs don't have lumps the way that whiffle though. Right, and you don't have opposable thumbs so for you to do the double paw gawk gawk like that was pretty hard I bet. You have to imagine that my holes are much wider when it yums. You have to imagine that my horse much better when it learns Right right yeah sure yeah, oh My goodness well, thanks Daphne and thanks Scooby for coming on the show and

If you listen to the worst cocksucker or best cocksucker of all time competition And you listen to all the AI stuff and you thought that you would like to hear more of that You should head on over to patreon.com slash from day of time Tosses a dollar month get access to the discord five bucks a month gets access to the discord plus bonus episodes Ten bucks a month access all that stuff plus a backlog of premium video episodes We have a bunch of free episodes up on the YouTube but theyadajo Time Worldwide, check that out. Follow the Instagram, Padajo Time Worldwide. If you are in the Austin, San Marcos, San Antonio era, come to Sean Patrick's Thursday, March 6th, a week from today and check out Stand Up on the Square.

It's a show I put together a bunch of my friends. The link is going to be in my bio on Instagram, jakeroads111111, J-A-K-E-R one one one one jake e our H o des and a bunch of ones It's stand up on the square Tickets are free with RSVP Check out my band drunk on cool on Spotify a new song called barcodes Thomas you got anything to plug No, not at the moment moment but thank you Derek for coming on this was fun. Thank you bud. Thanks for having me bros. Till next time bye.

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