Pendejo Time - anyone want to sell me a car

Episode Date: October 12, 2023

they got my shit on lockdown and there is no end in sight. if you have a restored nova or firebird and you want to sell it for 200 dollars hit my line. Support the Show.

Yeah. Yeah, I've been casually looking at Nissan GTRs all day. You know, Dodge Demons. Yeah, you should definitely get a Nissan if you get a new car. Yeah, old Mopars. Stuff well within my price range. I called the, well, the dealership guy called me and uh he was like yeah you know nissan they don't want to uh they don't want to pay for the engine the transmission swap i was like okay

well it's like in warranty so like what they're like yeah they want to see if uh it's like an easier fix first so they'll pay for that so they're just going to try to replace one little part of the transmission i was like oh like, oh, that really sucks. But all right, yeah, no, whatever. I mean, if it breaks again, I'll just bring it back. And he was like, yeah, problem is, man, we don't got that part. It's like a little bitty thing, you know. And we've been calling all over, and we just can't find it.

And I was like, oh, so, like, what do we do now? He's like, well, I mean, I could call Tennessee. I could call the warehouse out there. And I was like, yeah, like, it sounds like you're asking me, like, what the next steps are. He's like, I call Tennessee. May you call. And I was like, all right, I'll call you back in a week. And he was like, a week probably sounds good.

you call, I get it. And I was like, I call you back in a week. And he was like, a week probably sounds good. I like, I don't, I know that like the stereotype for like mechanics and dealerships is bad, but like, this is a new look. That guy was like, yeah, man, we've been trying. It's like, like you're, you don't have a tool. You're like, man, I texted everybody, man. I can't, I can't, nobody's got a drill around the area. Yeah, man, you know, I talked to all the warehouses in Texas. We don't got it. Have you seen one? Have you seen a fucking solenoid to a 2017

Nissan CVT transmission? Fucking no. Why the fuck would I know where that's at? I asked him, I was like, you guys got any loaner cars? And he was like, no. I was like, oh. Like, is there any coming? And he was like, no. I was like, oh. Like, is there any coming? And he was like, no, they're all out.

I was like, okay, so how, I mean, what are we looking at? And he was like, I mean, you can call in a week, you know, we'll see. Just, you know, I called a different dealership. Well, I called him back, and I was like, can I get a loaner from a different dealership? And he was like, oh, no, we don't do stuff like that i was like it's nissan i can go to the nissan where i bought the car it's in north austin he was like nah it's got to be this one and i was like well you don't have any and i need to go i need to get him i need to go to i have stuff i have to do he's like yeah, yeah, I mean, you know.

Yeah, I would just try and pick it up or something. Well, so it's not, it's a really obscure, like, it's an obscure part. Like, it's not, like, it's not something that... No, I mean your car up. Oh. Just driving around with

a bad transmission Just so that it's not in their custody Oh It does not sound I'll tell you what they're going to do for a week They're going to have it parked And they're going to do everything else And then in a week you're going to call them

And they're going to say Yeah we've had it parked here for a week Yeah yeah yeah My mom was like oh you know call around and ask for loaners. And I was like, they don't do that type of shit. But I had a feeling that this was going to be like a less than desirable situation from when I dropped it off. And I was mostly pissed because the guy called me to tell me, just don't call me. He called me to be like,'m i'm at a loss brother

i don't really know how uh the world works at all i'm sort of just floating along it's a big dark place out there and uh i'm kind of lonely he just called me to let me know that like there's just no move well he did let me know that nissan told me to shove it up my ass which is sick because it's under warranty i thought like that's like a like you have to you know what i mean but i guess yeah i would look into that for sure and if they don't i would go in there um with a handgun and i would kill everybody in the dealership yeah i would go i thought you were gonna say have sex with them because that's more your speed but no i figured i would you just i would uh i would probably go in there with a hatchet. San Marcos Nissan and turn everybody into Swiss cheese.

Let it sing. You should have gone in there and been like, I'm actually a comedian. Before you try and fuck with me, just know. I have dark thoughts, brother. Dude, I have connections. Yeah, I have connections. I hung out in the same room as Ralphie May one time. I didn't know he was there until I saw him on Instagram the next day.

How were you in a room with him and didn't see him? How big was that room? So it was the comedy. Very good. Very funny. Like, I'm a friend of Ralphie's. Very funny, asshole. Yeah, I want you to respect the debt.

It was at the Houston Improv. And I guess he was, like, in the back somewhere. Houston makes sense. Yeah, yeah. I used to go to the comedy club there, like, every now and then when I would go back. No, I'm saying that's the only place Ralphie May could walk through a crowd and people wouldn't be like, You're Ralphie May? Yeah, yeah.

He just looks like a guy from Houston. He was there all the time. Yeah, in hindsight, I guess I could have walked in and been like, hey, I just want to let you guys know that I'm in a really tough spot, and if you don't return this car to me in a week, I'm going to kill everybody that's in here. Yeah. Dealerships, I don't mean this in a negative way,

but everybody who's ever worked at a dealership should kill themselves and their children. Just in case their kids get inspired and want to work at a dealership like their dad. Every single one of them, and I don't mean every single one, but every single one of them is, I don't want to say worse than Hitler, you know. But you think about what they'd do if they were in a position of power like that. Right, of course.

And I think they would have done worse things. Yeah, not to do with it. would have done worse things yeah they're just you know it's like you know i can't i can't imagine doing that sort of thing and you know living with yourself but that's okay you know there's a lot of different paths people can take yeah i had a bad vision of it always but then i one of my close friends um chad he was the guy i told you we went to go look at a truck of craigslist and he brought uh he brought his glock in his athletic shorts he wasn't wearing underwear he just had the glock like like with the blown out and ones like barely holding the glock like above his dick and we were on the way to go look it was a tacoma and uh he's like yeah sometimes these can go haywire so you just so you always have to keep it on you.

And then he just, like, lifted his athletic shorts up, and I saw the base of his penis. And then, like, the Glock was just resting on his dick and his nuts. It wasn't just, like, it wasn't secured there at all. And I was like, why did you bring a gun? And he's like, I mean, I've done a lot of these. I mean, you meet a lot of weird motherfuckers. I was like, why didn't you wear pants more suited for, like, a shootout? Or at least carrying a gun.

He's like, this is all I had. I said, okay. Anyway, he worked at a Toyota dealership. And he told me that, like, him and one other guy were the only mechanics that, like. There was another. There was a guy that worked there named Marvin. And they would always catch him on a yoga mat in the bathroom taking a nap in the handicap stall. He was, like, a fat, like, 38-year-old, like, slightly.

Well, no proof that he was disabled in a developmental way, but he just assumed that he was. And they'd be like, Marvin, you can't fucking. We got work to do. And he was like, I'm not feeling up to it today. And he would just roll out, like, his wife's yoga mat on the handicap stall. And by the way, this is a mechanic's bathroom. This is not the one on the dealership. This is a mechanic's bathroom.

There's, like, shit and piss everywhere. I don't know. You've been to a Love's. Yeah. You know how it goes. You know how it is. So it's like these are men of the earth. These are fucking clay, you know.

And so he'd be like, like yeah we would go into the bathroom to like take a shit and we would have to like pull marvin out this tall and then shit and then he would be like hey next time just wake me up and then he would go back to sleep right after like two or three got grown men had just like finished pooping the mechanics uh anyway what i'm trying to say is I have inside knowledge that these guys are fucking lower than dogs. And I always assumed that was the case because it's a cliche. Dealerships are fucked.

There was a guy, oh, the day that I dropped it off. Have you ever seen, have you ever saw someone, like you see them filming a TikTok? And it's not like a, it's like,'s like hey guys we're out here like you you watch them do it yeah it's uh yeah it's very viscerally disturbing at least for me and he was standing in front of uh like one of the nicer maximas and he said a girl's name so i'm assuming he was like hey samantha it's john from san marcos nissan i just wanted to let you know that i've got your maxima here all ready to rock. We got it

cleaned up for you. And once you come and pick it up, you're going to hit that gas pedal and you're going to experience the power of the V6 Nissan Maxima. Like he just clearly was not his heart wasn't in it. You know what I mean? You try to make a front face camera video you think

is funny and you get like 30 seconds into it and you're like I should kill myself instead. I should have done it. I should have done it like two, three times. When it would have made sense. Yeah. That's how I felt whenever I worked at that porcupine dealership. Yeah, I remember you telling me that you were the best porcupine salesman

that they had ever seen, like north of the Mason-Dixon. Yeah, they were flying out of the cages when i was there i mean you couldn't keep a porcupine in stock for more than a few hours i would remember you calling me i would call people i'd say um if there's a quill there's a way you know that was my saying you used to text me that at 3 a.m yeah i used to that was one of the only things i could say for a while after that yeah that incident yeah but yeah i remember you i remember like we first one of the first times we hung out i was like hey man i'm gonna grab some beer you want some and you're like well there's a quill there's a way and i was like that doesn't at all answer the question i asked

and you're like yeah you know there's a quill there's a way you would say it in a different inflection but it was basically all you could say uh it wasn't until a couple years into the show that you explained to me what happened but yeah what was your commission per porcupine remember you said it was something crazy like three dollars yeah i got three uh well i got paid an amount of oats that was based on market value so it would be three dollars an hour in oats and so depending on the hour it would change every hour sometimes sometimes when the market's really high, that's only one oat. My question is I didn't ask for your hourly. I wanted to know your commission because it's a commission.

Right. I would get commission based on the hour. So basically the more hours I work, the more commission I would get. The more oats that you got. Yeah, yeah. So like other salesmen, they were pulling like maybe two three handfuls a week i would have like a lunch pail of oats every week basically and that was i was eating good for a while because um once once i learned how to make uh oat milk or oat oat yeah

oat milk that's what it's called um I was eating good. I was a hog in high heaven, you know what I mean? Right. You were tickled purple over it. Yeah, but they closed down the Porcupine dealership because they said that there wasn't any more of them. They went extinct.

I sold all of them. I think I pretty much sold all of them. That's why they went extinct. One of my biggest questions. It's not one of my biggest questions. It's not even an important question. I've always been curious, though. Like, where do rappers get the monkeys from?

Like, where do they get the, you know what I mean? Like, they all have, like, capuchins and chimps and, like, lemurs and shit. Oh, yeah. Not all of them. But don't. I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything and you're mad at me? Gosh.

Yeah, I think they probably, maybe because they know, I don't know. I don't know how they, I don't know the guy's name. I don't know who sells them. Curious George, I think, is the guy that sells them. Yeah, I think they probably know guys that have them to sell them to them. Or maybe they buy them in other countries. Yeah, I mean, those guys get around a lot. Yeah. They don't just hang out. You can buy a monkey in mexico pretty easily and then you're you can do it you're

flying on private jets you as long as you're not bringing like a gun i mean i know they do bring guns but as long as you're not openly bringing a gun or like you know i think you know a monkey there's no business like monkey business people say and i think for a lot of rappers it's a long term investment because a full-grown monkey can live up to 200 years if treated correctly so once you it's sort of like a retirement account like once you get older you're in your 60s 70s you're looking to stop spitting rhymes that's where the monkeys come into play because then you've had that monkey for say 50 years by then it's probably very wise probably very tall sage tall and sage tall dark and sage got his money right you know uh yeah finally got his money up got his money right, you know. Yeah. Finally got his money up, got his guap good. Yeah. So if you can sell a used monkey for a lot nowadays, the market's gone up quite a bit.

I remember I was trying to buy my son just like a starter monkey just because he's like – Yeah, like a bonobo. Yeah, he was getting into high school and I thought he needs something to get him around. Yeah, I was getting into high school, and I thought, you need something to get him around. So I tried to get him just like a monkey from the early 2000s or something, with a little monkey mileage on it, a little vinage. But it's so inflated now. Sometimes it's cheaper to get a brand new monkey long term with the payments.

Right. Really sad. Yeah. And I wish I had held on to my old monkey because i got a break you were you were you were slapping it you told me that you had a real monkey slapping problem yeah i used to hit my monkey all the time and pull on it yeah and the thing that people don't tell you you know at those monkey dealerships is because i went to i went to north richland hills monkeys and um right they tell you you know they're docile they were born to live in a tiny cage or a fish bowl you know you can they're like tamagotchi you know but really i mean even just a small capuchin can grow to be over 15 feet tall

they get so big and that you have to buy bigger and bigger bananas just to feed them and by the end of the you know they only grow bananas so big that is probably one of the truest things you've ever said to me yeah past a certain age a banana can't get any bigger. So something like a gorilla just can't really exist in real life. Yeah, that's true. I've never seen one myself, so it's hard for me to say. Yeah.

If you could own a type of monkey, what type would you own, and would you abuse it? That's a really interesting question because here's the thing. It would have to be a small, lower-order primate because even capuchins get strong as hell. Macaques, strong as hell macaques strong as fuck um so like you don't one moment please um to turn my volume down on my headphones you would have to be something smaller than a macaque or a uh or a capuchin so it would have to be like uh like a marmoset of some sort uh maybe an eye eye

and of course anything that small of course you're gonna like abuse it a little bit yeah you can you can hurt it it can't hurt you yeah you know now as you get on into the bigger primates i probably wouldn't want to square up with like a macaque or a capuchin monkey. Certainly not a baboon. They're really mean. I've always wanted to buy a baboon and then just hit it with my car every day. Just like a little bit.

Just a little bit every day. Hey, welcome to Fort Worth, Nissan, Thomas. Really glad that you filled out the application online. So the way that we do this is we do word association. We do things different at Fort Worth Nissan. We want to do a fun little word association game just to see how quick you think on your feet, okay? So I'm going to say the name of an animal, and then you say just whatever comes to mind, all right? Monkey. Kiss and love. Bab mind. All right? Monkey.

Kiss and love. Baboon. Hurt and hit. Chimpanzee. Smash and separate. They don't have to be two words. You can do as little or as many words as you like. But I do like the alliterations great.

Bonobo. Stun and punch. Okay. All right. Great. Orangutan. Rollerblading. Okay. Nice. Let me see here. Porcupine. Swimming 100 miles. Swimming fastly. Swimming through a river. Okay. Let's see what else we got here. Honey badger. Honey munching, loving honey, licking it, and tasting sweet. Okay, great. Let's see here. Ant eater.

Eating ants yum yum, and now it eats an ant sandwich, and now it has bread for it. Great. Wonderful. That was awesome. For your last word association game, Blue Jay. Licking butthole. Awesome. Thank you so much. Those were really creative answers. And that concludes the first part of our application to Fort Worth Nissan.

What makes you want to be a car salesman, Thomas? Growing up, we used to watch the karate kid all the time and i really liked it whenever mr miyagi catches the fly and he has chopsticks and so i thought if i ever want to know how to use something an extraordinary tool like a chopsticks chopsticks i think maybe one of my best shots is to is to work in a beautiful um asian maybe even chinese marketplace such as this um and and i assume we'll all eat family Maybe roasted pork or vegetable stews. Maybe a Korean kimbap situation. I believe that maybe there's been perhaps a miscommunication, misunderstanding. What do you think Nissan is?

Nissan makes the finest steel in all of Japan. And our blades have been known to be useful both in the kitchen and on the battlefield. And in World War, it was known for becoming one of the biggest pieces of metal in the industry. Okay, so I'm not sure I've fallen you. I know that you said there was some mention of food. I thought maybe you thought Nissan was a restaurant, which it is not. Even with the pun, you know, for pizza. It's like, it's like, well, it's like, it's like Nippon steel With pizza

Nippon Pizza Nippon Well thank you for coming in today Thomas I appreciate I appreciate your time I'm a 48 year old make a wish kid And my final wish For this earth

Is to Is to be used in making part of the car to where I can be the seat. So even whenever my body has gone past away, I can always be looking forward into maybe the back of the head of a man or woman. looking forward into the maybe the back of the head of a man or woman so you're telling me that your last your wish is to be sat upon no after you leave this mortal coil by a family of five perhaps a stinky they can't all be in the driver's seat and i can't be in every seat i've tried it before if i've tried it i can't you've tried to be in the driver's seat, and I can't be in every seat. I've tried it before. I've tried it. I can't. You've tried to be in every seat at once.

It's so, it hurts. Yeah. Do you think if a Make-A-Wish kid said he wanted to, like, smoke some rock and, like, go hit a lick, they would let him? What if he was like, I want to get molested? He was like, I want to get molested. Like he doesn't even want pussy. No, no. He's just like, I want to get ruined, turned out.

Jesus Christ, dude. Yeah, that would be like the doctors are like, they bring the family in. They're like, so. On one hand, it's the cheapest thing we've ever had requested. It's the cheapest request. I've got some good news and the bad news, Ms. Connors. Which one would you want first? I guess the good news? Make-A-Wish came in, and they saw Timmy.

They saw Timmy, and they want to work with Timmy for the foundation. Oh, my God. That's great. I just never thought we'd have another happy moment with him. Yeah. Don't get too excited. There's a second bit of the good news. His request was very, very cheap.

So we can actually make a spectacle out of it. We had like a hundred grand set aside. We were going to bring in John Cena. very cheap so we can actually make a spectacle out of it the act that we had like a hundred grand set aside we were going to bring in John Cena we were going to bring in fucking

Batman or whatever the fuck Tom Holland he didn't want that his his request is free really so we're going to make

a spectacle out of it we're going to do it in Madison Square Garden wow that's amazing what's the bad news sorry nurse Thomas would you care to break the bad news to miss Connors so your son ma'am to put this in medical terms wants to be turned inside out like a leather glove and he basically wants to you know with no warning get basically um how do i put this gently uh pounded like a boot that has some mud stuck on it

so we've taken this into account. And I don't want to say we think it's a good idea, but budgets have been tight lately. John Cena is Chinese now, so he can't get out here as much. Yeah, yeah. And Aaron Rodgers has, you know... He's a wizard now or something, I think. He keeps giving the kids ivermectin for their cancer. Yeah, he keeps giving them wands.

Yeah, so we're kind of at, I guess it's kind of up to you because he doesn't want it to be up to him, you know what I mean? So we thought we could kind of combine this you know if we go to time square we fly in dwayne johnson the rock everybody in advance we tell your son no no we can't do that that's illegal we get your son up on the big stage at Times Square Because that's where people perform Is in Times Square And they'll have He'll go up to the awards stage They're giving him

Some streaming award or something You know And right as he starts giving his speech The lights go out And John Cena Dwayne Johnson, pretty much every WWE legend that your son admires will, to put this in medical terms, go to town on him at once.

And I think if there's anything left of him after, he will be so thankful. Can I get a hell yeah? Oh, Stone Cold's here early. Hey, Stone. How you doing, buddy? Hey, how's it going? Where's Timmy? Where's his ass?

Oh, man. Yeah, I... That's gotta... I don't know. That's always seemed a little dark to me. Oh, man. Yeah, I, uh... That's got to... I don't know. That's always seemed a little dark to me. Kind of like when they post the Facebook videos where the guy with Down syndrome, like, gets a job at McDonald's and the family's like, Yeah!

Whoa! You did it! He... I don't know. I feel like with that stuff, it's like, you know... It's not wholesome. I don't even want to hear it. I don't know. I feel like with that stuff, it's like, you know. It's not wholesome. I don't even want to hear it. I don't know.

I mean, it's, you know, for some people when they can only have like a few jobs and they have to work to where they're at a point to where they can developmentally get one of those jobs. I get why, you you know it's exciting i just feel like it's it's not it it it shouldn't be something that's celebrated i guess i mean i'm fully willing to accept that i think i think i think what they're celebrating is like is that person gets to feel more like a normal right person you know what i mean, have a little pride in themselves and stuff. Not that all your self-fulfillment needs to come from work,

but I think everybody gets a little bit of... To be honest, man, I'm not backpedaling, but those guys seem really fucking excited when they get those jobs. Yeah, like the... They're like, yeah! They're fucking like,

hey, I work at Best Buy. Yeah, there's a guy at the grocery store nearby who's always super excited to get the carts and stuff. Those motherfuckers get the fuck out of the cart. Hey, who else is going to be excited to get the carts? Let that guy get his... Because now with those jobs, you get

a little more now you know so those guys are probably getting like 14 an hour you know that helps i guess you know right right for sure say that like that's not that's probably what i make but anyway you know you're like you're like yeah there's a lot of guys there's probably at least a dollar less than what i mean there's probably at least a thousand guys with down syndrome who make more a year than I do, and that's okay. I hope there are. For sure. No, no doubt. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.

I bet there's an oil baron who has a son with Down Syndrome and he has a fake office job. And he probably does the same amount of actual work as anybody else, is the thing. Can you imagine him being your foreman? I'd be so sick, dude. I would love to work for a guy who had down syndrome he pulls up and what like a lifted fucking like the jeeps you get at walmart for kids

yeah yeah everybody everybody having a good day yeah buddy yeah it's good the make-a-wish thing i always thought it was kind of the idea that you can do these types of things but only if a kid is completely terminal i always wonder how many kids they turned down well yeah that's like do you have to be dying to a certain degree? I think you definitely have to have like. A terminal illness. It can't be like you're really sick.

Some of the kids have made it, but they've like had brain cancer or something. Right. But it's like prognosis is grim. Yeah. Diagnosis, whatever the fuck. Yeah. I'm starting a new organization.'s called make a band kids it's if these motherfucking kids can we find some sick ass kids and we get them jobs we make the lit kids yeah we make them we make them work at waffle house and half the money goes

to me i mean i teach these kids how to do the kia boy thing with all the hyundais and the kias yeah and they bring the kias to me and then i part them some bitches out and i give them a fucking bumper or something you know hey go nuts chew on this shit whatever the fuck you want to do yeah it's funny they got make-a-wish kids but they can't make your make your kids make their beds. Kids. Make the kids make a dish. How about that? I'm going to teach these disabled kids how to cook. Yeah.

Oh, you got blood cancer? How about I show you how to make a filet mignon? It's a steak. No, it's a special type of French food. French meat. Catch a fish, kids. These kids don't. They're on their phones too much.

Yeah. Yeah. Hit a swish, kids. I'm going to teach this fucking kid with leukemia how to hit a nasty three. Yeah. Somebody's on his ass and everything. Fade away. I don't know basketball terms. Somebody in on his ass and everything. Fade away. I don't know basketball terms.

Somebody in the comments tell me if those were correct. A fade away is where you kind of like lean back a little bit. Like a step back, like a three type. It's like you're moving back. Nice. Sick. I did get it right yeah yeah

I'm gonna teach these kids how to charge the paint are we that's a it's a term yeah okay cool

alright cool I'm learning I'm trying to talk I'm trying to talk more like I don't know if people say charge the paint but maybe

maybe they say that I mean that's not like a it's something you can do i guess yeah yeah it's it's like i don't know like imagine i'm trying to think of a scenario in which a kid makes a wish for something that like like 10 years ago you make a wish and you wish for johnny depp like he's showing up in the outfit he isn't as bloated like 2010 johnny depp 2008 johnny depp like but parts of the caribbean is still like a really big franchise so i think there's certain celebrities that have like legacy power that would have been cool to meet on your deathbed like 10

15 years ago but you don't want to meet them now. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's like I really want to meet Kevin Spacey. Yeah, yeah. You know what movie I loved as an 8-year-old boy with Hodgkin's lymphoma? American Beauty. I just thought it was such a wonderful piece of cinema. So I really want to meet Kevin Spacey. I want to bench press with Kevin Spacey, and I want to say, you can't tell me what to do.

To an old blonde type of ice queen. Anyway. Yeah, that would be crazy. Imagine if a kid wanted to eat ice cream. And if I was in charge of Make-A-Wish, I would say no. It's not healthy. Do they stop? Do you think there's like an age cutoff?

I think there is. It's one. I don't mean to bite the guy's tweet or whatever. It's one. They have budget cuts. If you're a baby with cancer now, they'll give you a... What do you want, little guy? New diaper? Mommy? You want mommy? Yeah, we'll give you mommy.

We got mommy. I don't mean to bite the guy's fucking post, but I feel like you'd have to cut it off before puberty really sets in. Because if I'm like 14 or 15 and I know it's over, like I'm going to, like you get a blowy. Like that's it. Like you don't, you know what I mean? Like that's not, that is out of. What if they were just mildly perverted? They're like, I want to take a picture of a girl's feet. I want to do an upskirt picture.

I want to do, I want to learn boudoir photography i want to do the the knot tying thing that i that my older brother had posters of on his wall for uh i think for my make-a-wish i want kate upton to do the fluffy bunny challenge yeah that well that type of shit tracks too because like what have you done you're not quite at the window where you're like you know what what sex is, but you're like, I can't handle all that. I want to hang out with Kate Upton for 15 hours. It'd be hard the whole time. I want to hang out with Katy Perry.

Oh, like, you guys want to go to the movies? I want her to sit on the bed at the foot of it, though. Okay, what are you guys going to do? I just need her to sit here here but she can't look at me she can't look at my ding dong or or how about a cooking session with paula dean i'd i'd rock with that and she gets she lets you say it dude hell yeah that she doesn't even say it anymore that was a setup it was a sting. She said it one time like 30 years ago. Shouldn't have fessed up on that one.

Well, what's funny is her type of racism is the kind that's like, look, there's no adorable types. I want to make that clear. Padeo time, there's no adorable or cute or wholesome types of racism. But when she was like, you know how they used to do them weddings? Like the minstrel shows? I was like, come on, man. You gonna fire her from her cooking job? Because she said minstrel show?

I mean, yeah, I guess. You know, it's not good or whatever the fuck. That's what it was? Yeah, she was talking about weddings in the South. And how they used to have like, I guess jive dances with fucking, like, servants or some shit. Like her grandma used to do it or something stupid. Yeah.

Watching Paula Deen. Watching her explain. She's a, let's see. Marriage in the South. Will she say the end? We are always running for the thrill of it. Marriage in the South. Will she say the end? We are always running for the thrill of it. Thrill of it. That is a parody from Empire of the Suns, that one song.

But it's about Paula Deen saying the N-word. Thanks for listening. What are you looking at, dude? Apparently, Deen was her ex-husband's last name. She's remarried, but her name's still Paula Dean. You know what her name would be if she changed it? Paula Groover. That's honestly way sicker.

She's married to a tugboat captain. That's sick. And his last name's Groover? The fuck out of here. His name is Michael Groover. That is so badass. Sick-ass fucking name, dude. Hey, what's your name, brother?

Mike Groover? Hell yeah. You're my best friend. You can get me into all sorts of shenanigans. I don't give a fuck. Mike Groover. Is it spelled like what I think it's spelled like? Like G-O-R-R-V-E-R?

G-R-R-O-R? Yeah. Oh, okay. Sick. That's badass. That's a sick-ass name. Well, yeah, I'm kind of reading more on her controversy. That's okay.

Was it worse than what I thought? She was sued by somebody for racial and sexual discrimination. Oh, okay. How was Paula Deen offering? Was she trying to give it up? What do you mean sexual discrimination? It was by a black woman who I'm trying to figure out

if she was an employee or something or just like a producer or whatever. Oh no, Jackson was white. Okay, so here's what happened. She was sued by this lady because Dean mused about wedding plans for her brother This She was sued by this lady Because Dean Mused about wedding plans for her brother With the plantation style theme thing

Yeah yeah yeah Black servers and stuff Minstrel show yeah So this Fellow white woman sued About that Oh come the fuck on And the judge threw it out because he was like,

you're also white. Right. This was just a lady having a conversation with you. Whether she's a racist or not, I don't think she could be discriminating against you for being black as you are white. Now, the judge... Look, we've taken a look at the evidence.

And as it turns out, you're a white woman. And you are not subject to discrimination, especially the kinds that's typically reserved for black women. Asks if she had used the word since then. She said, I'm sure I have, but it's been a very long time. Maybe in repeating something that was said to me, probably a conversation between blacks. Hey, look, if you own up to it, badass. I don't know, but that's just not a word that we use as time has gone on. Things have changed since the 60s in the South, and that is fair.

That is fair. That is very fair. If you grew up in rural Georgia in the— They were letting it fly up until like three years ago. I probably still do. Yeah, She was born in Albany, Georgia in 1947.

Probably the least racist woman from that town. For 100%. Yeah, no doubt. Anyway, Paula, if you'd like to come on and explain yourself, not vindicating you fully, but you can come speak your piece if you'd

like to my mother's uh my mom bought a bunch of paladin cookware from walmart right when the controversy happened because it all went on like super clearance like they needed it out of the stores so my mom got like has a shit ton of old pal Deen stuff. It's all matching. Nothing wrong with that. My aunt had a bunch of Tweety Bird stuff. That's so stupid. She had a Tweety Bird. What was she, a little child? No, she's about 700 pounds.

She would wear the same Tweety Bird Moo Moo for like five days in a row. Tweety Bird strikes me as an arrogant, a brash fool. Well, Tweety Bird is like... Tweety Bird for me as an arrogant, a brash fool. Well, Tweety Bird is like Tweety Bird for southern fat white women, that's like, it's almost idolatry. They love that motherfucker. Tweety Bird and then the fucking

garden, the front yard ornament where the woman's bending over and she's got like her knickers showing. It's not underwear. It's like shit that you'd wear in the 20s but yeah tweety bird's a big son of a bitch pillsbury doughboy get the fuck out of here old fat white women from the south i had like my grandma she had pillsbury doughboy everything pillsbury doughboy rags pillsbury doughboy fucking stove toppers pillsbury doughboy fucking she was there's some oh beanie babies too

um it's funny the shit that like broke white people white trash people get into because that stuff isn't necessarily expensive but it's not cheap either i think my meemaw had like i'm not kidding man like hundreds of beanie babies maybe even maybe over a thousand um and she was like this is blinky and blinky has you can read his personality on the tag and i was like fuck blinky who gives a shit about blinky i'm cool i fucking listened to breaking benjamin grandma yeah um yeah fuck old people. And I'm never going to get old. Who invented Bugs Bunny? Mel Blanc. Chuck Jones.

Who the fuck's Mel Blanc? Oh, he did all the voices. Mel Blanc. Yeah. Wow, who would have thought? Oh, whenever the Looney Tunes would go, that was Mel Blanc. That's pretty sick. Did you know that Bugs Bunny Has a nephew named Clyde

No I didn't Yeah now you know Let's see He did Barney He did Yosemite Sam He did Tweety Bird He did Daffy Duck He did Porky Pig

This motherfucker was prolific We should create a new He did Daffy Duck. He did Porky Pig. This motherfucker was prolific. Yeah. We should create a new universally loved cartoon series that will create a billion dollar industry for – IP industry, like an intellectual property franchise? Yeah, for centuries to come. Have you thought about that? I like that. I think that would both make us at least like an

extra couple grand a year. If we were to build a new Disneyland. Oh yeah, our own Disneyland? Disneyland? His She They Land. There we go. Okay.

And it's for non-binary femmes? Possibly? Okay, now we're cooking with gas Yeah Yeah it's not a bad idea I can get behind that But all the rides would be Looking at your phone Probably now

If millennials got a chance to make a Theme park they would probably They would probably be an iced coffee ride A looking at your phone ride um uh a texting ride this is really there would probably be a a a ride for um brunch how what would you feel how would you feel about that, Jake? I love brunch. To be completely honest. Brunch is so fucking stupid to me.

Because I love breakfast. And I'm not huge on lunch. See, I hate breakfast. And I'm not big on lunch. And not really dinner lately. But I love to drink alcohol. Between the hours of 9 and 12. See, then I get a hangover at like 5. Yeah, but then you just keep it going. You say, fuck it. What do I got to do alcohol between the hours of 9 and 12. See, then I get a hangover at like 5.

Yeah, but then you just keep it going. You say, fuck it. What do I got to do tomorrow? Work? What do I got to do tomorrow? I got to clean my house? What do I got to do tomorrow? Talk to my family?

No. That's fair. Oh, speaking of your idea for millennials, did you remember the Banksy? He literally did that. I don't know if you remember the Banksy thing. It was called dismal land this was around the time like I've never I had a couple

friends in high school I was in high school and I'd started college when Banksy was like really big and I always kind of thought it was like the gayest shit on planet earth because nobody who's British is going to preach to me about the end of the world

or what late-stage capitalism is. Get the fuck out of here. Fucking fucked-up teeth line. Oh, we've got so many phones. Suck my penis. Anyway, it was called Dismaland, and it was like an installation where the rides were weighed in traffic and all the food was

like processed or some shit uh are you looking at it no i was looking at banksy oh okay you know who he is though yeah he does the like the yeah yeah the stupid fucking dumbass stupid shit yeah like this painting catches on fire and it means that like uh art is fucking someone shut up dude if you make a million dollars doing art i mean i guess cool or whatever i don't know i'm not like a fucking art critic i'm mostly stupid i could even thanks he's kind of read it now unfortunately yeah i i guess so i don't know what is like that reddit means cringe is it like synonymous with cringe it's it's just like past well he's something that yeah kind of but he's

very redditly like specific to when people describe atheism as reddit it's like a bygone thing that was once cool but is now it's just kind of choogy you know what i mean anyway as a as an elder i was at a i got to the show the other day and uh i heard someone describe themselves as an elder emo which yeah there's another word for that don't know if you've heard yeah yeah it starts with a it starts with a p and ends in pretty cool guy um and uh anyway ashley will call me that from time to time and i'm like i don't like that i don, I don't like that.

I don't like that at all. You know what I mean? I don't know how to play blues guitar, so I can't play in a blues band. I don't really like indie music. I feel like you could figure out blues guitar. It's mostly just scales. I could probably play blues guitar, but I'm not like a blues guitar guy. You know what I mean?

Yeah, you got your own thing going on. But it's like, no offense to blues guitarists, but the basic. It's the dumbest shit. I'm just kidding. No, like the basic shit is literally just like playing like fucking five, like five notes. Yeah. Anyway, I'm not a guitar expert, though. Yeah, me neither.

Anyway. Anyway, yeah, I heard that term and I was like, man, I really got to... Maybe it's time to pack it up. Maybe I'll just make fucking EDM in my room. I need to become an alpha male. Well, I mean, I figured... I figured, honestly, that you were going to get there, because you have an old truck that you don't

work on uh you hurt yourself at the gym these are all traditionally masculine things by the way i this the neo-masculine thing these aren't it's gay the neo-masculinity movement of like mirror poses and lighting it's aesthetics and traditional masculinity does is not concerned with lighting and body fat percentages okay traditional oldstyle masculinity is having a truck in your backyard with weeds growing around it that doesn't work. It's being able to not comfortably or even correctly lift a decent amount of weight. If it's too much, that's actually kind of gay.

It has to be like an appropriate amount. It's heavy but not too heavy. You have to eat food that takes two years off your life in total um so no like broccoli chicken rice that's that's eating disorder stuff for lunch i had two corn dogs potato wedges and a big exactly yeah if you're doing the broccoli chicken rice thing that's that's new york fashion week stuff that's not manly it's not manly oh this this is Oh, this is what I eat as an alpha fucking fit. You are an Italian model.

You know what men eat? Men eat whatever they can find. They got shit going on. If a man has to eat dog food, he'll eat it. If a man eats two to five corn dogs at 10 in the morning before going to work 16 hours a day in the sun, he won't even get diarrhea until he gets home later. Yeah.

I feel like it's not masculine to be doing that good of a job at life either. The guys who can fix anything? No, it's about the guy who can half-ass. Having hobbies is gay. Guy who can fix something for two weeks and then it breaks again. Yes, exactly. A guy who can fix something for two weeks and then it breaks again yes it's

very exact a guy who your uncle says i know a dude and he he fixes your ac but then it somehow starts blowing noxious gas like three days later like the freon starts like it doesn't compress and you just breathe it in and you get sick that's a man i'm it's not a guy who's like oh yeah you can do a full engine swap for you. That's called a niche hobby, and that's for children and women sewing and stuff. Real men don't know. They buy tools, and then it sits in the garage. You don't even open the fucking – you don't even open the power drill.

I bought like a $150 – one of those chairs that slides under the car. Mm-hmm. Lost all the bolts to it as soon as I bought it. There you go. That's called being a man. I bought with a, what was it? I got the whole Ryobi, the whole fucking King Caboodle. The badass one. I just, I get a hammer and I smash screws into the wall.

I don't give a fuck. You know why? Alpha. Very simple. I'm not like, oh, I don't give a fuck you know why alpha very simple i'm not like oh i don't get a fucking stud finder i don't use the fucking thing that tells you a level i don't use that stuff i put 18 holes in the wall and then i drink six beers and i don't hang up the thing that my fiancee has been hanging up you know why alpha alpha yeah i don't fucking if you live past 65 you're gay pussy you're gay man if you have normal blood pressure at all yeah yeah

oh you're watching you're watching what you're eating okay yeah cool man that's awesome you don't have you don't have puffy nipples from only eating chemicals you're a woman oh you're not drinking right now because you it's been causing you problems in your interpersonal life okay you want a tampon with that drinking problem pussy oh you uh you need to get some new clothes yours you're getting kind of worn out how about you just wear them till somebody pleads with you and offers to buy you new clothes? Yeah, why don't you go out to a date with a person you've been dating for years and they say, can you just please buy a new pair of jeans?

The stains literally won't come out of that and your ass is hanging out because there's a big rip in the butt and i can see your ass crack but here's the thing exposed ass crack under most circumstances gay if you're wearing a blown out pair of levi's and half your ass is out you've had those jeans for 15 years man alpha if you just buy if you just buy the same same type clothes over and, no matter what size you're supposed to be wearing or how fashion is changing, that's a man. If your friend is like, hey, man, just wear something nice to the wedding. You don't have to get a suit.

You're like, I wasn't going to get one anyway, and you just wear a pair of black fitted Levi jeans that have queso on them and some high top bands and an old band t-shirt, and the bandit got canceled for doing really bad stuff. That's what you get, brother, and that's how a man dresses. I switched over to Levi 550s recently. Relaxed fit.

It's a comfortable jean. Comfortable jean. I don't fucking – it doesn't matter anymore. It's fine. It's a practical jean. It's a utilitarian jean. It doesn't hurt my knees whenever I have to bend down and grab something. My dickies fucking rip all the hair off my knees.

Are you calling an Uber because you had a few too many at the bar? Huge fucking pussy. Get behind the wheel of that car. You know what Uber is for? Girls. Yeah, it's for girls and hookup culture. For DL guys guys what are you trying to make it i'm trying to make a new type of uh offensive thing to say i guess here's um

yeah here's the real deal uber is only for secret gay sex when your girlfriend's at work. So your car can be in the driveway. Yeah, yeah. Oh, your transmission went bad? Drive it. Why don't you drive it? And why don't you shut the fuck up about it? The mechanic says it's an easy fix.

Say don't fix it. I'll drive it home. Say it's covered under warranty. Have them charge you $7,000. Oh, I haven't had my brake pads replaced in 100,000 miles. Sounds like it can make it 101 miles just fine. Yeah, yeah. You know what?

I just want to hit the brakes. Oh, you're stopping before you get into an accident that renders you paralyzed for the rest of your life? Oh, you're not going gonna smoke anymore so you can live a long time what so you can see more naked guys yeah so you could have sex with more men oh you quit smoking because you were having a hard time getting upstairs are you sure it wasn't to have more blow jobs that you give yeah more endurance for for giving more jobs oh you uh oh oh you're you're you going to go up the stairs because it's faster than waiting on the elevator?

Elevator is going straight up. You have to go around the corner 16 times. Stairs aren't going straight up. You're going around the corner to have sex? Oh, you got an Apple Watch to keep track of your heart rate? I'll tell you one thing. It's beating.

I know what my heart rate is at all time at least 110 resting yeah not good yeah uh i don't need the blood pressure cuff i can tell you what it is right now i just need to squeeze my wrist it's about 180 over 115 right now give or take yeah yeah Oh, you switch to avocado oil? Oh, you're not eating seed oils? Because they give you breasts? Do they make you horny

for guys? Is it because it makes you think about a man's seed? Is that why? Yeah. Oh, you've gone, you've switched over to almond milk so you don't shit your pants at work? That's cool. Are you keeping your hole clean for it, guys?

Oh, you're writing in your journal and you're grounding yourself when you're having a manic episode? Why don't you just make a bunch of shitty purchases and get in fist fights with your friends? Like a man does. Why don't you... Oh, you're taking lithium and Seroquel to balance out your mood disorders? Why don't you just call your best friend a piece of shit and punch him in his face and slash his tires and then act like nothing happened the next day?

Oh, wow, you're... You're talking to a therapist? So is it another guy or are you... Let's talk to a girl and pretending it's a guy? So you're telling a woman your feelings? Yeah. You're telling a woman. Yeah.

Sounds beta to me, brother. Yeah. You better act right. You're telling your girlfriend about your childhood? What are you, still a fucking baby? Sounds like you're a grown-ass man now. Don't need to be doing that. You're expressing terrible things that happened to you

that made you the way you were, and you're trying to explain why you think you do the things that you do. Why don't you just act without apathy or with apathy and without regret for your whole life? What are you looking your mom in the eyes? What are you looking for in the reflection of a guy? Why are you calling your mom and telling her that you love her? You dialed the wrong number. you were trying to call your boyfriend yeah you should have been

calling a fucking john cena to talk to him yeah yeah big strong guy on steroids oh you're uh oh you're saving money for the future what do you think what's in what's in your future oh you're doing your taxes so the government doesn't put you in jail? What if you just don't do anything? And then they have to do a bunch of work to get to you, and you're just chilling that whole time. You're just playing 2K. You're paying your car note?

Hey, it turns out you have a car still, even though you didn't pay it for now. It turns out you're in repossession, but if you just park it at your buddy's place that works by the way uh as another jake's finance corner if you're behind your car payment um and your address is current just park it at a buddy's place and then don't answer the phone i did that for like six months yeah and then you only had to pay like three grand right to get your yeah i had to pay about 3500 some good advice yeah yeah to get current on the car because they got hit yeah they don't they don't forget that you have the car payment if you do that well just a heads up at that time in my life i was like all right maybe they'll forget about it like quite literally i got like two months behind and i was

like okay so i don't have the money this month and the third month. And that's when it goes into repo. And then month four rolled around and I was like, I've been doing the math and I don't have $2,200. Maybe I'll have $2,700 in 30 days. As it turns out by month five, I didn't have $2,700. And then month six rolled around and they were like, I'd get the call and they're like,

Jacob Rhodes. I'm like yeah they're like all right this is uh so and so uh this is uh intent to collect debt this call may be monitored recorded where's the fucking car at man for real brother because we go to we go to your house and it's not there like oh i moved and i where'd you move to and i would just make up an address like down the road like i just give him a fake austin address i'd be like yeah here's my real address it's uh two two one nine stasney seven eight seven four four and i'm like okay like i'm going to the bank right now to pay it they're like all right we'll give you a week and i did that for like another month and a half uh and then i got that construction gig and i was able to pay it off but they made me pay it off in cash. They wouldn't take my debit card or nothing.

I had to bring like $3,500 in an envelope to the bank. But yeah, you can get away with a lot for a little while. Yeah. Yeah, you can. I used to I used to rob casinos.

And the most fun you can ever have is when you're done robbing a casino and you get into your Rari with all your compadres. You pile eight guys into a Ferrari Enzo. Yeah, and then you drive away and there's cash blowing out of the trunk, which I guess in this case is in the front of the car. And you're just flipping. There's a casino. The casino owner is running behind you by himself.

There's no security. Right, right. And you're just flipping him the bird. Mm-hmm. And you just say, adios, marafaka. And then you just head through, and then Trinidad James, all gold, everything is playing. Gold all in my chain. Gold all in my watch.

Don't believe me, just watch. Don't believe me, just watch. And then you and George Clooney, you start holding hands, but it's just because you're sitting so close together. You're so happy that you got away with it. Yeah, and he doesn't have a seatbelt because he's in your lap. Right. Because there's so many guys in the car.

And he's manning the stick so you're doing clutch he's doing the stick and so you end up blowing the transmission out but uh you just stop it um buckies yeah you just stop at the at the nissan dealership and they have a spare enzo uh transmission lying around so it's about 2200 bucks to get that fixed nice yeah yeah i uh that's the best part of a heist did you ever steal anything from the gas station and your mom made you give it back uh no i think the only thing i've ever stolen was a lighter one time, and I felt really bad about it.

I used to steal food. I never... Well... Food. I'm trying to think. No, I don't think I even stole... I used to go to the Walmart, the deli area, and get a bunch of chicken strips,

and then just walk around and eat them and throw it in the trash. Recently, I rung up short grain rice as long grain rice in the bulk section nice of a sprouts because um it was like 80 cents cheaper a pound it's for long grain rice but for our rice cooker i needed short grain so i thought what are they gonna do fucking measure my rice and i got called out so bad in a mcdonald's one time i was coming home um i stopped at a mcdonald's i think in columbus it's like one of those little towns between houston and austin and uh i was broke i was broke i paid for my uh it was when you could get a spicy McChicken for like $1.50. And I paid for it in quarters, and I really wanted the Dr. Pepper.

But I didn't have the money for the soda. And sodas at McDonald's were a dollar. I literally did not have an extra dollar. I scrounged my fucking, I was driving the Crown Victoria at the time. I scrounged that motherfucker, peeled inside the fucking bucket uh bench seat whatever the fuck couldn't find it so i uh i get the spicy mcchicken and i was like what to drink and i was like uh oh can you just give me like a big water because those are free like just give me like a water and uh i get my sandwich and i walk over to the thing and i feel it with fucking dr pepper

because i'm a real i'm a real one dude like i'll fucking i've done it a thousand times it's not a sin it's just soda and the kid behind the counter that rang me up they do not a day over like 17 he got me good he was like hey yo this guy don't even have a dollar like said it really loud and pointed at me and he was laughing like i know he wasn't like he wasn't gonna call the police but he was like hey this guy right here he don't even have a dollar to get a soda and like oh dude the cooks in the back it was over for me they were like you don't have a dollar and i was just sitting there like hold up dude also fat as fuck hopefully i was i was pretty heavy at the time i'm sitting there holding my spot i was froze up i couldn't move because i like i got so much like embarrassment

and like like i it's not they're not gonna send me to jail right but i was like oh my god i've been caught like when you're a kid and you're like caught you're doing something you're supposed to do so i'm just sitting there froze i can't think of anything to do or say and and like that like the dude's like hey this guy don't even have a dollar and i was like i fucking i could go look for it dude just give me like a i'll go look for it and they're like nah he don't have it god damn dude and i'm like and then fucking dude that you would think that somebody in the back of the mcdonald's came in and gave everybody a thousand dollars because they're back there like yo it's a it's

four quarters my guy like just get just laying into me dude and i was like okay well like all right like fucking chill dude like i'll go get it and they're like we don't give a fuck about a dollar bro and i was like but y'all made it like i was like like just trying to get my last word in but they got me i had nothing to say i'm a'm a fucking huge, sweaty, fat guy, hungover, buying a McChicken with five quarters, six quarters, and then stealing a $1 large Dr. Pepper. They were like, yeah, no, you don't got it like that. Talk about broke.

That sucks, dude. Dude, man, like it's not even – I've had really embarrassing moments in my life that compel and like truly like really like not depraved but like come on man you don't be living like this you know what i mean like just shit that like just comes with being like a fucking degenerate like an idiot like being a dumb idiot fucking up you know i can't pay my bills i have to ask people for money whatever those things were less embarrassing than having like a 16 year old kid with like uh they were big at the time the fucking xxx braids yeah like be

like you don't got four quarters bitch you do not have 10 dimes 20 nickels you don't nothing nothing in the wallet. Nothing in the car. It hurt my feelings, man. It fucked me up for like a good. I drove home in silence. I still had like an hour and a half left to Austin. Columbus is like smack dab in the middle.

Just didn't listen to anything. Just angrily ate my McChicken. Thought, hey, look, you guys. One of those moments where you're like, those guys don't know where I'm going to be in five years. One of those where you get got so good that you're like, I'm going to turn my life around. Over. We're not having enough money for a Dr. Pepper.

They did get you though. That is good. That sucked, man. It was not good. Dude, there are people who if you said that to them, they would shoot the fucking McDonald's up. They did get lucky yeah that's well they probably i got i guys did i got fucking stuck behind a dude at chicken express one time who was threatening to shoot the place up because they didn't give him

um like enough honey mustard or something dude i saw a lady um i was at water burger and it was one of those 24-hour ones. I was in there fucking buzzing like a cheeseburger, drunk as shit. And Lady asked for lots of spicy ketchup. And I guess they didn't meet her fucking – they didn't meet her expectations. And she was like, I need more. And they were like, oh, we're out of the spicy ketchup. We just have regular ketchup she was probably drunk but she like starts screaming and yelling

and like throwing the ketchup packets and then like of course the kitchen water burger kitchens at 2 a.m it's like not unlike not unlike waffle house there's real motherfuckers that work the night the graveyard shift at water burger they're like they're throwing french fries at her they're throwing like whole fucking barb honey barbecue chicken strip sandwiches those are heavy sandwiches beating the bitch in the face with them and she hops over the counter and the funny thing about this is is that i saw the cop the cop a cop did get involved he didn't come in through the front dude she'd been fighting and they'd been throwing shit at each other for three minutes the cop was already inside because he came i didn't see him he entered from my peripheral which leads me to believe that

he just sat and watched it for a bit like he didn't enter from the front doors like hey everybody he just walked up to her and was like come on you fucking stupid bitch you know threw her to the ground it was pretty bad but he just he was like fucking i'm gonna let this play out oh she got hit with it that's a heavy sandwich she got hit with the chicken strip sandwich that's like a two pound sandwich nice oh no they got the eggs out i cracked her with an egg good all right i guess i should hit toss this lady and put her in handcuffs and mace her a bunch anyway if you're listening to this that means it's free and we love you

and we've got a show coming up in Chicago November 10th at Shuba's Tavern Scuba Steve's is it pronounced Scuba's? no it's Shuba's and I was like damn I've been saying it wrong for a while now

but the tickets can be found on their website, Lincoln Hall Chubas or whatever, and also on our Patreon and also on either of our social medias. And you can follow our Instagram at PentejoTimeWorldwide. We've got some clips up there. Also on Twitter. I know not everybody's on Twitter nowadays, but wherever you get your stuff. Don't have TikTok yet because I'm 90 years old, but we'll get around to that. Subscribe to the YouTube too, Pendejo Time.

We've got our clips up there along with a bunch of video episodes. One we just unlocked from the Honcho tier. It's a pretty good one. Reviews are in. They say, I want to hang out with my friends, and I miss hanging out with my friends. Head on over to Patreon.com slash Pendejo time if you want to pay for some shit. $5 a month gets you access to the Discord and gets you all the backlog of bonus episodes, plus a bonus episode every week.

$10 a month gets you access to the video episodes. Check the Sketch Out as well. That's a pretty good one. I like that one. I need to bump that again. And then $ bucks a month people have been subbing to that which hey big respect that's pretty sick that you guys do that you don't need to do that thank you guys people have been subbing to that tier um yeah thank you guys uh yeah head on over to patreon sub over there and head on over to fucking youtube and subscribe and then

buy tickets to the show alright bye thank you oops