Pendejo Time - Black War Dogs: Pitbulls Unleashed

Episode Date: October 9, 2025

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Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety. Effectiveness or quality. Prescription is required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. And let's start the show. Hello, everybody.

How are we doing? Hello, baby. Hi. It's the Hot Goss show featuring a gay guy and then like a hot girl that's half asleep all the time. Hello, can I talk to you, please, baby. Hi.

Oh, and our guest on the Hot Goss show is an Indian guy that we... Nope, not Indian. White guy. Oh, sorry, sorry. Just talk like that. Okay, sir, okay. Hello, sorry, sorry.

Hi. I'm a bald out, blonde. I am from Nebraska, sir. Hello. And this is my gay friend, Mitch, and my name is Nicole or something. And this is the hot guy show. Hello, hello, hi. You're our first guest.

You're from Nebraska. That's nice. And what do you like? I like to take a picture of you, please. Well, I take a picture of me or my gay friend, Mitch, who's so snatched. What was that? What was that?

It was a sound of a camera. Oh, oh, okay. And you were taking a picture of the, my, my, my, conti friend, Mitchell, or me, the woman on the show? I was taking a picture of you, please. Well, you know, saying please is something that you typically would, is a part of a question. Not a, not as something that you already did. Please, I have taken several pictures of you. no no no listen listen listen look no let me handle him you have to when you say please that means

a question and you are just saying please as you're taking a picture of nicole's feet and that is not okay please i will take a picture of your feet and post it post it to where i'm sorry please i have posted the picture where have you posted a picture of my feet thank you i'm touching you What's your name? Sorry, hands off, hands to yourself. You know, the no-no square zone, the game where you plays your child? First of all, what is even your name, sir? My name is Tanner, uh, Gibson.

Tanner Gibson. Tanner Gibson. Not great to meet you. You've taken pictures of my feet and you've touched me without my consent, and it's only three minutes into the episode of Hot Goss with a gay guy and a girl. Hello, please. You feel amazing. Well, hold on

I know you said you're from Nebraska But I got to be honest with you As the girl of the show I'm sensing maybe a change in personality Happening in real time That I can't quite put my finger on What do you mean? I do not know what you mean

So you've taken pictures of Nicole's feet And then you touched I want to start a business with your feet And now you're trying to start a business with your feet And now you're trying to to start a business with her feet and your voice is different than it was in the beginning. Something's not adding up.

My voice is the same. My name is Tanner Gibson. Right. Tanner Gibson. I make a million dollars from selling a picture of my feet to my father. If you show my father a picture a picture a picture of my picture. of your feet he will let you stay in his

guest bedroom in Nebraska in Omaha in Omaha I just want to recap this has been a lot this has been so much for the first episode of Hot Goss with a gay guy and a girl

you're from Nebraska your name's Tanner Gibson you're from Omaha you took a picture of our feet you touched us without our consent and then you said that you could sell pictures of our feet to your father for not only a million dollars but we could stay in his guest room is that correct in my experience yes

so you're as far as I know if you show your father my father a picture of your feet he will cook you dinner he will cook me dinner and then he will cook me dinner he will cook me dinner Sorry, I have a gay dog, and he's eating something he shouldn't be eating.

His name is gay Hank. Spit it out, Hank. Hello, Hank. Your dog is very smart. Did he go to college? No, he's actually a very stupid boy. He likes to make me spend $1,000 when he eats awesome stuff I find on the ground, like pieces of lizards.

And candy off the ground and things like that. He is very smart to have $1,000. With the $1,000 dog. Who's that? I don't know. Let me see. It's my father. He's demanding another picture of my feet.

I do not know. Okay. I'm not going to answer. Okay. I have decided not to answer. the door. I will not take responsibility for living in my apartment. Some of us are trying to run a business.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, I think somebody is, I think they keep ringing. Hold on. Okay, that's fine. So on the hot goss with a gay guy and a girl podcast, you have, you know, the gay guy who is either 95 pounds or 5. pounds and then you have the girl and she is usually somewhere between 85 pounds or 500 pounds and the girl is always on some kind of benzodiazepine and the guy always seems to just not

be on any drug but one of those gay guys that's just permanently on a little bit of meth and they and that's this is the show now hot goss with Nicole and Mitchell and um the newest hot goss is is that everybody is met at the priest um at a priest for protesting um ice uh if you ask me i think he should play nice with them instead of being um a fake woke priest um because he's probably a priest at one of those like gay churches that teaches like love and forgiveness which is like oh my god right like who wants to go to a church like that i want to go to a church where everybody gets to go to hell and be punished for being a fucking goddamn reprobate who was it man who is it who's it there was a lion at the door

he drug to eat my face the uPS man was very mad at me he was short with me because i did not want to answer the door you're breathing like you just got to a fist fight you're right yeah i walked up and down the stairs very nice the stairs are very far you must travel you do have a hell of a stairs set up there man you must go down to several stairs and when you are a man you do not take care of your body you are working on business you are trying to work on a type of tie that is magnetic and you can put on the refrigerator. Who's your gay friend?

I told you, his name is Mitchell. Let me talk to how much. I'm done with the woman. I've taken enough pictures of your friend. I'm taking a picture of the man's feet to sell to my father. Hello, Shark Tank No one has done this beat before

Today I'm selling a picture of my father's feet For $300,000 For $300 I'll sell you a picture of my father's feet Yeah, so for that reason I'm out Because I got enough picture of my own feet And my own father's feet And by the way, my name's Kevin O'Leary

I know you were thinking maybe I was the other guy, but I'm Mr. Wonderful, and I talk like this. I'm one of the bitches, and I want to spend my money on makeup instead. So I'm out. Fuck you. I want a pink dress. I want high heels and a dress. Fuck you. You suck.

I want pizza and butt rubs, and I'm a girl. I want pizza and butt rubs and four kisses, so for that reason I'm out and fuck you. your product is trash hey it's me more Cuban I was actually hoping that you would have a robot cigar so for that reason I am out yeah

oh man I love that show I love when they put that Kevin O'Leary guy in that movie with Timothy Shalom everybody's mad about it I don't particularly care for him too much

I sometimes I wonder what's wrong with Benny Safdi I think maybe he probably, I think he's something's wrong with him. I think he might be evil, but I don't know. Oh, who cares? They said the same thing about Roman Polansky. Look at him now. Yeah.

Yeah. I just don't get a good vibe. Actually, I think that one might be the brother Josh. I haven't watched any of their movies. Yeah, you have. You haven't watched Uncut Jam? I've never watched Uncut Jims. I haven't watched Good Time.

You haven't watched Good Man, motherfucker. You haven't watched shit. I don't know shit. I've been watching Paris, Texas, 15 minutes at a time Over the last few weeks And I've forgotten the beginning already I don't know how it starts I think he's just walking around

I've been watching one episode of that show Mobland With Tom Hardy like every three weeks It's a pretty good show I'm about two episodes in and I started it in July So I'm doing pretty good It's a good show But my favorite show is looking at my phone While the TV is on

And then having to rewatch the episode I've been working on getting off my phone finally But what took The last draw from me Was this new wave of AI videos Yeah For me made the phone not fun anymore Now it's not fun

It's getting not fun man It's really It's just It's Martin Luther King doing the Chief Chief intro speech Yeah It's not fun If he's and he's making monkey noises too

Do you know how many Adolf Hitler UFC have you? weight title fights I've seen I've seen about fucking 500 of them man like you know it's one thing yeah I what I hope is it brings people back to the text based you know my world you know what I'm on what I'm back on WhatsApp yeah yeah because all my friends are getting docs now so oh yeah yeah it is what it is yeah I mean I'm still I'm still on that Twitter shit but just my group chat's kind of migrated you know I remember back in the day, like, way before I had, like, at the Twitter account, like, and I guess I was, like, more, like, I wasn't even, like, politically active.

I was just, like, going to protests and stuff or whatever. People, like, doxed that I, like, worked at the university. There was, like, some right-wing guy or whatever, and he was, like, this is, they always get everything wrong. They make you sound way cooler than when they, like, dox you, they were, like, this Marxist professor of philosophy at Texas State University. I was a TA and I mostly drank 12 twisted teas per day and gave kids grades on papers mostly based on whether or not they were readable. They could have completely not understood the material, but if they were written coherently, I gave them a pretty good grade. And then I remember I got, it was one of those like active club Texas. It's like, do you know the Nazi clubs where like they do pushups together and they get Everlast boxing gloves from Academy and they punch each other in the chest and then they like, I don't know, they all go and shoot this.

same SKS out in the woods somewhere. It was one of those. It was like known Marxist professor. I was like, dude, first of all, nope. Not a professor. Second of all, not politically

active. Third of all, I'm really trying to get this podcast off the ground. So if y'all could just, if y'all could plug it at your next fucking half-ass clan meeting where you guys punch each other in the chest and name five cereals, you're a fucking gay guy fascist club whatever the fuck it is

that would be great just listen to the show just sub to the show don't comment on anything and don't say anything just sub to the show I know it is what it is you know we get real dirty with this internet shit

we don't play yeah we get real filthy we don't play you don't want to mess with us dude it's not it's not a game oh yeah this shit could get real serious you'll quit you cut in my door

you see what happens man dude that's I love clearly I don't even answer clearly I don't even answer my door that you guys was pretty mad at me me because he had a bunch of rabbit a bunch of rabbit based cat food

uh for for me not for me to eat I don't eat it I love the I love the people you watch people beef online

they're like your fucking days are number of commie fag oh I used to always do that shit when I was like 20 years old yeah love to see you try it sitting at home

on house arrest can't go anywhere Can't run Yeah, try and fuck with me Yeah You better look to see you fucking try me A big fat retard It's like What

Dude whenever Whenever some guy Whose profile picture is like Tails with a human pussy And he's like you have no idea what's coming And it's like a picture of that You know poor unfortunate girl that got stabbed or whatever whatever like it's always you have no idea what's coming i'm like what are you talking about what's

coming because it's already pretty tough out there for you know like a big group of people it's unfortunate what are you going to do though are you going to you're not signing up you're not signing up to to big the ditches and to shoot you're not buddy they're not going to let you they're taking pretty much everybody they're not going to take the guy who makes videos of tails with a human pussy getting fucked by a big killer crock from Batman. It's not happening for you. It's never going to

happen to it. You're not going to be the shirt stop-law. You're not going to be the SS, but I'm sorry. The time for bargaining is over. The white waste would now assume its spot in the world. Communists on people and now

up against a wall, commie. You do fucking commies that it's so good for so long. Yeah, that's a good one too. Now you're about to see the wrath. You were... Of me and 40 of my friends. You wef-wing fags have had it so good in America for 100 years.

Yeah, you've been swimming in paradise. The time has come for the heavy hand to be laid at the foot of justice. You've been so successful for 100 years and now. It's time for you to face. Ever since the Wadstale was about conservatives. Trying to go to conservatives like Dennis, like Randy Quaid out of Hollywood. Yeah, male Gibson. Male Guesel.

Dude, that's one of my favorite videos of all time. You know what I'm talking about? Never mind. I don't want to derail a thing. Let's get back to what we were doing. Yeah. I'm about female Gibson. A

Apocalypse Oh, yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah, so brave heart Brave tits Yeah

Apocalyptic Oh Oh my boobies Oh, it's a reprimatchez Oh I'm gonna fight against The pink dress Don't put high heels on me

Oh I don't set the church And fire My purse is in there Wait What does that happen What movie is that? I think that's a Patriot actually.

Oh, okay, I was going to say... I was thinking about this entertainment for my... Apocalyptic didn't have churches. The Spanish come at the end. The one I watched at churches. Apocalypse. I watched it was mostly based in church. It was in China.

It was about Mel Gibson down on the cross to save the Gentiles. It's a five-and-a-half-hour long movie. Your days are numb, but Mill Gibson's coming. Yeah, Mel Gibson's alive still for a while. Cash is coming. Dan Bongino's coming. Garibuze is coming. He's not just fucking weird.

He's coked up. He's weird. He probably... Yeah, he's like Ted Denson, but if you got here by... car he did a bunch of cocaine off his dog he had to go jail for that yeah he'd beat his wife too that's the second story that's the end of them oh my god yeah we got gary bison on his said he doesn't beat his wife anymore so you can't yeah he's sober he's a piece of shit he has also i don't know if he has any politics or if he's alive i think i think mostly he's

one of those guys who's just alive but that's it you know what i mean yeah Anyway, your day's a number, Kami And the white hand of the Lord is coming For you Yeah, the sweet gold and the honey You don't got dribbles for the liberal mouth I hope you enjoyed I hope you've enjoyed living on easy suite

You working class, communist homosexual Your fucking The lease is almost up And the landlord's decided And he wants to open up the apartment for tours and I'm touring it I've already got the

information packet filled out I've already got the application filled out and so to my friends and we're living next to you we're living next to you and we're going to be bad neighbors

we're going to step on a floor tea time's over play time's over the time for games over and the time for playing around and messing around is over time for me and a bunch of the guys

with a 75 BMI to move in for the kill And we're coming We've got special guns Built for guys with huge fingers No trigger Safety over here No twigger discipline

We get trash grabbers And we That's how we pull the triggers As we use those I hope you didn't think it was going to be easy Because now you're in for a world of pain We tried this the easy way already now

it tastes of your own medicine these guys fucking sucks so bad we're on your way and you're probably so scared you're farting up a green cloud you're probably thinking about

wearing a pink dress and changing your whole lifestyle man left six balls because of the Jews and it's time for me to you guys think you're so tough

with the guy from you know the guy from the the you are the Jewish guys yeah

he might just look weird I don't know his deal I couldn't think of a single famous Jewish person who's really

didn't quote Adam Hey Jonah Jonah Hill count your days Adam Freeland surprisingly Not Jewish

You'd really think But He's just He's just No he's just He just talks like that Adam Freeland You will be okay

Because if you're Because we agree With you on politics Uh Is it And another thing Don't try to one Yeah

You're better off just sitting still and accepting your bad fate oh the boss is here sorry I was talking to the acolytes and now the really big bad it's me the boss

I have over 25,000 followers I have a picture of a gun as my profile picture I'm the boss of fashion and I'm not following that many people which means I'm a cool guy yeah

I have a subset of people retweet me and a lot of my stuff gets cross-posted to Instagram JD Vance messages me sometimes we're in a group chat together he got added as a joke

but he still laugh reacts sometimes from the White House yes reacts when we say the N-word I'm the boss of that he always says my boss is going to kill me

if he finds out I'm in here his boss is Donald Trump The president of the United States of America. He's my boss, too. He's my boss, too. My name? Nine millimeter. Nine millimeter gun.

The name's gun. Nine millimeter gun. I hope you don't think I'm messing around when I say that you guys are in a world of pain. You've messed around. It's time for payback. you guys had the cultural steering wheel for what eight and a half years and I had to put up with fat brown women on the commercials now I'm going to kill literally a bunch of people at the store I wanted to be an allergy medicine commercials that was going to be my career it was taken from me then I got older and now it seems like only black people have allergies just fat black women and Indian children are the only people it seems who have allergies

or wear underwear that's just things I wanted to be a white South African kid on the donation uh on the TV ads and they said that you can't do that if you're 22 you can't be a 22 year old white starving child in Africa you're just a guy now you just have to starve I also wonder what was going on with those ads yeah that's a good question

looking back yeah why have you ever seen the Chinese because I have a friend from Ghana and he said I don't know what that was all about have you ever seen the ads one of my friends who lives in China sent it to me but it's a

it's they have charity for like hungry American kids and the commercial is like an American child like going through a Chinese supermarket and he's like looking at all the food that's in there and then a Chinese guy in a suit is following behind him and the kids all skinny he's a white blonde kid with blue hair

like blue hair sorry blue eyes blonde hair and the Chinese guy's like you know he's doing his thing but it's translated at the bottom and it's like you know half a million children in America are so hungry that they have like a sickness And I was like, damn, they are really dunking on us over there. Like, we don't even, you know, we don't even have commercials like that for our own people. You know what I mean?

But let alone, we don't have commercials for hungry Chinese people. We want to blow the whole country up. That's kind of our thing with them. That's kind of like the... Just one piece of rice could feed a Chinese child for one week. They're very resourceful. It's still me. Yeah, I just wanted to call.

I'm not here to donate. I just wonder, are you guys giving the kids one piece of rice for the whole week? Yes, ma'am, we are. As far as we know, that's all they need. As far as we are. And they're not allowed to get food from an outside source. I wonder if, uh, where the money, like, goes. Like, if Chinese people are actually donating to that charity that I'm talking about,

like, does it actually end up in American children, like, it's probably all going to shin you under something? Yeah, it's probably, yeah, probably, Yeah, probably going to this, probably CIA takes it or something, I don't know. Who knows? Yeah, if you're a, they just made, they just designated an anti-terrorist organization and then the DSA as well. So guys, I got bad news for you. But I think, I think I'm pretty good because I think I filled out the email list thing in 2020 and I never actually sent it in.

So I'm solid. but um if you uh if you're a part of anything like that burn your fingertips off file the serial number off that rifle and get uh never mind i didn't say any of that stuff um go to home depot and and start building a deck now with just let let no fingertips and i burn my asshole really bets nobody could track my asshole it turns out they don't do that yeah yeah and then my asshole hurts like it got burnt yeah it's i wonder if it has its own print like a finger You know what I mean? Only one way to find out.

A survey in Jake's DMs. No, don't do that. Everybody goes sit on a paper towel and take a picture of what you see and send it to Jake. Oh, please don't do that. Please don't. And if that shit comes back clean, try again in a few hours. I know at least one of you guys are not doing good stomach-wise. That's usually pretty much the case.

I've been doing fine stomach-wise lately, which is crazy. crazy because i've been eating mostly just like bread and oatmeal um it's been on that peasant shit i feel horrible but i'd yeah i feel i feel like a bird i feel very weak earlier today like right before we started recording i got this like intense wave of nausea and uh i was like what if i had today and it was like oh um like nine pills of medicine and no water and no food that's that's and they call just coffee and nicotine and then in like nine medicines so i i immediately chugged a bunch of water but you know you chuck a bunch of water it's already too late your body's dehydrated there's not really you know so you're just kind of really how it works but oh sure

well that's how i feel right now probably that's too late body's dying it's over yeah yeah you feel like you can't have any water yeah better just wait till tomorrow yeah i just keep forgetting to eat because what the well butcher makes me like like not hungry. But then I take my Seraquil at night and dude, fuck that medicine. That medicine makes me want to eat

like when, you know, when Ed, from Ed, Ed Nettie gets mad at his mom so he eats his whole mattress, that's how I fucking feel I take my Seraquil at night. I want to fucking, I want to eat dog food

just to see what it's like. I'm so goddamn hungry. But then I fall asleep pretty shortly thereafter so it doesn't really matter. Anyway, oh man, that sounded nice. Thanks, buddy. I've been super feeling

awesome and if you want to get your penis feeling awesome and you want to put some spring back in your fucking thing keep on goddamn listening uh here's the ad in the middle of the show according to the national institute of health uh and national institute fuck according to the national institutes of health as many as 30 million men in the u.s experience ed if you don't know what that is that's erectile dysfunction i.e. your fucking tinky doesn't want to get stinky with it it's more common than a bad night's sleep and I'm sure that some of you are dealing with that shit and that's oh fucking

K. The thousands of people to listen to this show I'm sure one or two are you or maybe 5,000. I'm sure most of you are having issues in some way. Yes. The good news, Hems makes getting access to treatment so simple so you can feel like yourself again without the stress or awkwardness. Through Hems you can access

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products which the FDA does not approve of verify for safety effectiveness or quality prescription required. Two website for details restrictions and important safety information. Anyway. You know, I, yeah, I might, dude, I've been having like not any bad stomach problems. And I, normally it's just like, you know,

Normally, I just, I don't, you know, my something's just fucked up, basically 24-7. And I don't know if it's just because they have me on all this, like, basically they have me on like eight different types of slow down medicine. I always feel like I'm in fucking bullet time. And so I think that's, maybe that's why. Because I don't freak, I can't freak out. I can't be all like, ah! Oh, goddamn day. Which is usually how it is.

Hank, what are you doing in there? Are you destroying the couch? Come here, boy Good boy What's you doing, Mr. Champion? You want to talk? No, yeah, he's scared of the microphone. What are you looking on your phone?

Pictures of the guys, balls, butts, dicks? No, I'm picking. I got it. I rented a car. Hey, I got another surprise for you. You're going to spend a bunch of money on this fucking wedding, and then in like nine months you're going to have to spend a bunch of fucking money coming to mine. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, be ready for that. Nine months? Is that me your preggers? Yeah, Jake's pregnant Pregnant getting married And I'm having a baby on the fucking dance floor Yeah Oh yeah

Oh yeah Oh, oh, oh yeah The good thing I'm not making anybody Wear nothing I mean you gotta wear clothes But like I'm not nobody You don't have to wear like any fucking

Anything like You don't buy a suit or nothing Like even the best men Or whatever I'll be honest man I was not gonna buy a suit I was not Hey brother, I'm telling you right now

I would say hey brother I don't think anybody else is buying a suit for this For your wedding Yeah Come on buddy Most people have two or three All right let's hold up on the first one Well because like I've

No no no no Like I've been asked to buy a suit for a wedding And I'm like Fuck One of my best friends I bought a suit for his wedding And I had to get a special fit I had to get a slim fit

yeah yeah yeah and they did they had to go up four sizes on it so I could fit this slim fit and then the sleeves went up just past my elbows yeah if I raised my arm the sleeves went to my elbows because I got fitted for it

yeah and then the wedding was three weeks later and I gained 10 pounds in that time nice yeah that's sick yeah I don't know I don't know how it worked out but that's just you know sometimes that's how you got a roll The direct opposite happened to me I got fitted for a suit Like a year and a half out

Because I had I had to just That's when they were doing it I lost like 90 pounds And so all the pictures of me And my buddy Frank's wedding I looked like David Byrne It's crazy

Because they just cinched the waist To like from like a 30 40 to like 10 waist sizes But everything else I look crazy I literally look like I look like a kid that got invited to the adult hangout

and they just put them in a big ass a big ass fat boy suit it's pretty fucking embarrassing but to be honest man I think like aesthetically speaking whenever I see a wedding and too many guys have like the slim fit chinos on like there's something

ugh about you know what I mean like when the pants are above the ankle I like the classic fit yeah yeah nothing wrong with the classic fit I like 2000s preacher fit Yeah, that's a sick look That's a sick look I don't

What really bothers me is When I am at a wedding And a lot of the guys have on the Slacks that are almost Like they're super tight And they go above the ankle And you see the ankle And then they have on the dress shoes

I'm just gonna let you know I do think less of you If you, like a black Like a young black lawyer's outfit You know what I'm saying? Like really slim fit red Chino's that they stop above the ankle and then some like knock off farragamos like yes that that type of wedding fit please do not if you're

coming to the wedding which i don't think the only person involved in this conversation is coming to the wedding is thomas and the rest of you too it'll be an open invite thing i'll post the address post the address on the patreon i'll put it on the subreddit and anybody even if you're not a fan of the show please come and jake and ashik and ashley will provide food and open bar no there will not be an open wedding invite, Ashley's looking at me right now like this. No, I mean, open bar is a loose term. It usually means you didn't have to go to the main ceremony to be part of the open bar. She was saying, we went to a wedding, and there was an open bar, and one guy was wearing the

dumb and dumber suit at the wedding. You know the one I'm talking about with the top hat and the cane, and he's got the ruffles? And, man, I know that in his head he probably thought he was. like doing a funny thing, but it really just took away all the attention from everybody else and put it on him. You know what I mean? Like doing that at a wedding, you should be whipped and crucified. You're

like, I'm going to wear a funny suit. You know what I mean? Like, don't be doing any of that. Don't, if you ever think that that might be good. I do get words sometimes at weddings that the attention is coming away from me and going more to the couple. That just stressed me sometimes when I think about probably nobody from

the wedding really mostly remembered me. They mostly remember the ceremony and yeah you know the special relationship that those people had and not like the bolot tie i had on or the the loafers or whatever yeah yeah yeah i do think i'm going to get some loafers for this wedding um that i got this weekend yeah you should you're going you're going to an authentic indian wedding because me and ashley always talk about like we walked past one in downtown austin not too long ago and they've got that shit the fuck on dude yeah i was going to work cowboy boots but that seems to be not the move

I was going to say you can't wear cowboy boots with the book I was only going to wear cowboy boots You can't be doing that I'm now looking up I've been looking at more pictures None of them have on cowboy boots in the pictures and No Indian is wearing a cowboy boot in the wedding Yes, yeah it's not happening Yeah

But I after the wedding I'll have three curtas That I can wear for stand-up You couldn't even You couldn't rent one? like that you couldn't find a place to rent a cart then um i didn't really think about that much oh okay gotcha you but you have to get this like the it starts it starts off pretty expensive really yeah if i yeah it probably would have been like over 300 bucks so and for me that's the that's the kind of money you spend on an engagement ring you know what i mean

hey man there's nothing wrong with a 300 no there's nothing wrong with it i do remember uh a former co-one of my least favorite co-workers of all time he was pissed off one morning because his wife couldn't find her original engagement ring he said man that she was a hundred and eighty dollars and she can't find it that made me laugh so hard that's awesome yeah i was thinking like where the fuck do you get a ring for that price because i feel like all rings are either way cheaper than that or way more expensive than that right that's a very specific amount of money that's like a walmart ink

that's like a walmart fake engagement ring yeah dude back when walmart you said i don't know if walmart still has the jewelry you know the jewelry counters where they've got they do for sure yeah they do yeah i miss i miss like big ass walmarts that were 24-7 oh dude you got it the one next to me has actually like dope-ass clothes they've got like drip they've been getting some sick stuff in It's awesome. Some really nice clothes. It's such a hostile shopping experience here for the most part. They'll have like armed security guards and they don't even have anything in the store.

There's guarding nothing. There was an armed like security guard like pistol in the whole nine yards outside the wedding venue. And if you walked outside with your drinks, she would be like, no drinks outside. You got to go back inside. And I would be like, this is just soda water. And she was like, I don't know about that. I got that. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Speaking of engagement rings, dude, one of my dad's favorite things to do when he was tied on money would just pawn his, he just pawn his wedding band. It was like a gold wedding band

that my mom had like, like saved up and like they'd gotten each other, you know. And it was legit. And he would, he could routinely get it, like when you pawn something, you don't give it,

you don't sell it to the pawn shop. You know what I'm talking about, right? They give you money and they hold it. And if you don't pay your interest, they keep it. it's like yeah the consignment or whatever yeah it's straight up mob shit so my dad like every fucking like i don't know every month or so he would just be not wearing his wedding ring

my mom would be like david why aren't you wearing your wedding ring hey but oh yeah pawn that that's uh i would that yeah yeah tom's got it over there at the uh gold uh golden dollar pawn shop yeah he's got he's holding on to it for me my mom would be like you mean you pawned and he's like well i mean you know the lot bills do and, yeah, you know, I need cigarettes, so I figured, but, like, the light bill was like $100, and cigarettes back then were probably like $5 a pack, so it was a night, my mom would be like, it's like a $900, this is in like $200, it's like a $900 wedding band, and he's like, yeah, about with the rest of the money, I mean, you know, you can stretch that a long way,

and he didn't use a guy to make payments on it. Like, he probably could have pawned something at the house like a TV, but he would just pawned the wedding ring and then get it back later because that just gave him like a thousand dollars of walking around money which probably just you know like strippers and cocaine or whatever but it just cracked me the fuck up when I was a kid just be like oh I forgot to put my wedding ring on or whatever like I would hear that and I'd be like no sometimes my dad pawns his so he can so he can buy pictures of dirt bikes they hang him up in the garage and he can get baseball cards of guys that he used to know uh baseball players he used to go to high

school with. That's so funny. Being, it's like, uh, like, there's something, uh, really is something liberating about being like a complete deadbeat. And I'm not just talking about like deadbeat dads. Like,

you know, sometimes you're like morally repulsed at the actions of somebody, like their carelessness or their selfishness. And then I think about like the people that I know that are like that. And I'm like, dude, their lives are like stupid easy. At least like from the outside looking in.

You know what I mean? Like, crazy simple like they don't have any attachments to anything or anyone and like they don't really honor their word or anything like that and people give them money and feel bad for them and then they just kind of fucking hang out you know what i mean and they never learn any lessons or anything and sometimes they overdose and die or kill themselves but if they don't do that their whole life is pretty fucking sick like i have a friend his old he's uh he's got like seven siblings kind of like you but he's mexican and his oldest brother he's the second oldest

his oldest brother there's like this thing in it's not just Mexican families apparently it's like there's like Greek families too but like the oldest brother can just live at home and get 300 pounds and eat fucking enchiladas all goddamn day and do no wrong and like fucking he could kill dogs in his spare time and the mom is like it's okay me ho like literally nothing and so he like he's a complete dead bee he lives at home he plays fucking rust all day he eats like five pizzas a day has no money no job hangs out mom feeds him you know uh that dad passed away so he just hangs out all day and like sometimes when i'm back home i'll talk to him and i'm like oh how's how's micha doing he's like yeah he's about 500 pounds no job plays rust all day

dude he's crushing six domi's a day six dominoes a day like 16 medello smoking weed it's pretty he's like he's a piece of shit and i'm like yeah that's a piece of shit move and then there's a voice in the back of my head that's like dude he's so free you know what i mean like he like he's literally like a vessel of consumption He's an evil, he's everything wrong with, you know, gluttony and fucking decadence in America or whatever. But, dude, that sounds dope. To be in a kind of cultural situation where you can, like,

you're the oldest and you're not expected to do anything. Because certain cultures are like the oldest son carries the burden. It's like white, like wasp shit. Fuck no. Hell no, not in some cultures. And some cultures, like, would you want to get fat as fuck and live at home forever and never leave? Absolutely.

But only the firstborn son. Only the firstborn son gets to do that. The rest of you guys got to get jobs or get pregnant But the big guy Yeah, we just feed him fucking Domino's pizzas all day And we give him like $1,000 a month For Fortnite skins He's like 38

He's a really good Fortnite player Like he's crazy good Which is funny as fuck to be It's funny because sometimes you meet a guy like that And he's not good at video games But he plays him all day And that's somewhat more impressive to me To me

Yeah I mean it's impressive But it's also like What are you doing then? Yeah Like, you know, because I, like, yeah, like, I have friends who game all day and they're really good. And so they don't ask me to play because I fuck everything up for them. But if you game all day in your ass, dude, come on. That was me over the pandemic.

I'd be gaming like four or five hours a day doing horrible. Dude, we played war zone together and we would just drive the cars around until everybody else was dead. Yeah. We had fun, though. Yeah, that was fun, dude. We weren't even good at video, having a video game job. No, no, no, no. No, no, no.

That was what we were, our job was in the video game, and we were like, dude, fuck work. Yeah, yeah, your job is to kill people and escape the gas, and we're like, no, I got this truck. I did the thing I do in real life. I go, no, I got this truck I got right now. Me and my guy, me and my friend, we got this truck. We're going to get around to kill these guys pretty soon once we get closer. Once we get this truck running. I'm not running across the map just to find some guy.

And you know what's funny about our tactic when we used to play is much like a, in life, if you just have a friend then you drive around in a truck with that friend sometimes you can get really close to the finish line because me and you, we'd make it third or second. Yeah, we would always get almost almost win until we actually had to fight somebody. Fight, yeah.

Once there was another guy, once we actually, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a really good person that was going after us, we were both just running away from them. Uh-huh, yeah. We're just trying to throw grenades and just trying to get a... Smoke bombs. Yeah. Dropping our guns on the ground and picking them up.

jumping out the window. Yeah, that's a metaphor for life for the listeners. If you don't, sometimes all you need to do is get a friend and drive your truck around and not do anything you're supposed to do and you might succeed. You might, there's a solid chance that when you encounter opposition of any sort, you will fall the fuck apart, but there's a solid chance you can keep driving the truck and you might win. You might even get a couple dubs.

I think we did get second place a couple times. Hey, and second place is fine. You know, you do. Second place is great. Way better than most people do. Right, exactly. So if you're struggling in life right now and you're like, fuck, you know, I keep getting met with opposition. Run from that.

Get a friend. Get a truck like we did in Warzone. And to just drive your truck around with your boy. And then if you have any problems in your life, run from them. Get in the truck with your boy, Scott, and then just drive around town, drink beers together. And then tomorrow, that problem will still be there. But you can just get in the truck and you can just keep going. The green cloud will follow you.

and people who want to kill you will follow you but as long as you're driving that truck yeah you will get killed you will get hurt by a lot of people they will win they will win in the end but you can go a long time is the is what I'm trying to say you can go in video game terms you can go about two hours

in life terms you can go about 50 years then when you're 65 it is 65 is when everything starts to catch up to a lot of guys you motherfuckers have had it too easy for too long get ready because you're always What we're doing is we're getting, we found the four-wheeler and we're driving around on it.

I have the same M-16 I started with when I got dropped in here, but I do have a big rig. You fucking pussy lips think you can fucking beat us. We've been walking around the whole time. We still got full ammo. I've got the same pistol you start with. We've been trying to find wildlife to kill. There's no wildlife in the game. No wildlife so far.

We thought it'd be chickens. this game. No, I'm gonna you put me in a video game, all I do is kill animals. That's why they kick me out of the video game quote. It's like elementary school. I'm here to say fuck work and kill animals. It's new merch. I've paused my killing my animals to be here.

I came here to fuck work and kill animals. I'm going to throw that on the back of a heavyweight sweater this winter and sell 10 of them because nobody can wear the merch that I put out. Yeah. I can't hear to say fuck work and kill animals. So funny

to me, dude. Yo, I got this friend of mine. He wants to come play, he wants to come play rust with us, but he's not really too super good at the logistics part of it, like the house building, and he's not really like a good FPS guy. Like, I know, you know, like, you know, Mike's a counterstrike guy, but his name's Rob.

What he really is good at, though, like in any game, basically, you drop him in anywhere. He's going to immediately start killing the animals. That's where he really shines. Like, he's not really like a healer. He's not really like a guy who can, like, you know, is not a sniper. He's not really like a running gun guy. But if there's any animals in the game, he is going to kill them immediately. And if there's any innocent people, he's going to kill them immediately.

He's probably the best at that. He's a really, really awesome hang. Say hello, Rob. Hey. That slot machine was going in my head of what voice had he was going to be the African boys or if it was going to be Fat Albert. It's Fat Albert.

Different guy. He's awful close. He's basically the same guy. Hey. Oh, no, no. Here I am. I want to, man, I want to eat a rifle made out of black twizzlers in this game. So this is Rob, yeah, he's the animal killer.

Don't, don't, yeah, don't think too much about it. Don't, you know, don't worry too much about it. Don't say I sound like anybody because I don't. Yeah. Everybody's over talking shit on the world's on. on saying I am a poor imitation of the fat album for us hey real quick I say

um so he's yeah uh yeah rob rob yeah if you just bring me a beer yeah so he gets really mad if you say he sounds like fat albert he gets really really mad so just you know I know he kind of sounds like him but just kind of just pretty cold grape beer coming right up yeah so we were just talking about how

like uh you know how fun the game how fun game night's gonna be oh yeah what game are we playing again pizza we're playing war dogs too the black war and uh...

The black war yeah yeah and uh okay I don't remember that one the war in black Afghanistan wait a minute

hold on black You can't just say black like that, brother. I can't. I'm black. I'm black. I'm thinking about a black guy named Rob. It's fucking me up for a second.

It's just not. Hey, this is my black friend, Matt. There was a rapper. There was a big rapper. the early 2000 name black rob yeah yeah but black in front of it whoa makes it

is that so yeah I'm black Rob I'm Rob this is my black friend Brian you know it just my name Rob

is short for throb because I got arthritis short for long for Arthur hey man has anybody ever told you you sound like that Albert I told you not to say anything to him.

Oh, you sound like my friend arthritis. Dumbass. He can't move good. Yeah, he can't move too good. He hurt. Yeah, you sound like Twizzler Fred. You like it when people say stuff like that to you?

You look like ice cream, Pam. wait let's just get back to the video games guys let's just get let's just get back to the game sorry sorry that was kyle didn't mean it rob i'm sorry he doesn't he didn't know you don't sound like fat alber man it's just right he's just cal's just drunk you know all right we're playing war dogs too the black war okay yeah all right um uh so this game is so hard because you gotta hold a gun sideways uh you don't have to you don't have to rob you can aim it okay i thought you did But what you, but here's the thing, Rob is, is it, remember, there's a lot of animals to kill in the game. So I kind of told everybody you're like the best animal killer.

So you're going to make sure that you're doing that. You're going to make sure you're really looking. To me, they look like animals. That's how it makes it so easy. Yeah, yeah. They look just like the animals on Earth. They're great. Yeah, the graphics are really good and then war dogs, too, with the Black War.

Is there I'm thinking of something else Oh yeah the big red one That's what I'm thinking of Yeah black war dogs You get to play It's an off leash pit bull Offleash pit bull and a white

Offleash pit bull too Return of the children In a white suburban neighborhood It's where you are a pit bull that's escaped And you got to see how many children You can grab before the game is all black war dog to a leafed

people when people when people kick you in this game it only makes you stronger you can gain health points by eating old pieces of tire drinking out of rain puddles if you can find

an ultimate bill cutlass it'll serve as a spawn point You can receive Pats from blind, fat black guys at the bus stop And it will give you much more health and speed Why people drain you of your power They're trying to put a little bow on you If they put a sweater on you

You can no longer bite You get a belly You will accidentally learn the power of love And lose all rage points Then you must start at the Oldsmobile colors Your original spawnpoint is a dog run in Park Slope You must take out a fleet of French pit bulls to advance to the next level Ultimately the final boss is a three-year-old white child

Name Allison She is on a razor school You must fight your paternal instincts And she is a very agreeable child. You're going to have to tear her legs clean off, and then you win the game. But there's a lot of white parents around Allison. That's the problem. Fuck, man, I don't know if we're going to be able to top that.

I don't think, I don't like that there's that new game out called Dog Booty. I don't think they should have made that game. I agree with you. I don't know what Activision was thinking. I really don't know what they were doing. kind of piss me off, but, you know, it's not really my call. It's not really anything that I'm supposed to... I'm not supposed to have any say in anything like that.

Fuck, you can... Yeah. Black War Dog. Dude, we got a great game on our hands. If anybody is a video game programmer and you want to front us about half a million dollars, I would play the fuck out of a game where you're a pit bull, and you have to eat white children in a suburban neighborhood,

and you get power up by eating old tires and drinking from rain puddles and getting pads from old blind black men but if you get captured by a white family and put a sweater on you you have to respawn in front of an oldest mobile cutlass at the end of the game

if you could eat if you can completely devour a three-year-old girl on a razor scooter then the credits will roll and you will be that is your ultimate achievement in the video game you are a 90 pound pit bull named

fucking pipe that pipe Come here. Your name is dog. You've not been given a title yet. That's how you start at the beginning of the game. You have killed one child. Your new name is Papa.

Your new owner is an 842-pound Mexican grandpa. You have killed two children. Your new name is El Chapo. Your new owner is a 14-year-old black drug. dealer five children destroyed new accomplishment unlocked el hafe your new owner is that same kid but he's 22 now 50 children destroyed new nickname blueface your new owner is Gucci Man and you are real destroyed you are in all of Gucci Man's

Instagram photo Breast implant dismantled Your new name is Chomp You have destroyed the postal worker Fuck

Fuck God damn it Man that's really awesome Fuck I need to Ubis If anybody listen to this show And you're from Ubisoft

Or fucking From Software Or fucking Any of the other ones Who makes him I don't know, Bethesda or whatever the fuck. Get, get, get, hit my fucking line for Black War Dog. We've got an entire side quest line.

Thomas just laid out the achievement program. We've got a main storyline. You got to eat the little girl at the end. You can get side quest by eating a mailman. You can get different owners and names. And then everything is micro transactions now. Micro payments, you know, many payments. You know, you can play for free.

But if you want, you know, if you want to, if you want to be named El Hefe, you know, you put your credit card. it in and you get a golden collar that says it maybe it makes you like 2% faster when you're chasing after the the children you have to eat. Or if you work for any of those companies and you just want to give

a motherfucker $9,000 that's about how much money I have spent going to the hospital and on a bunch of other stuff. So if you want to help a motherfucker out with that, just write me a check. You know where to find it.

Yeah. Just give me a little bit of that. Check to Booty Services International at the Jake Accomplishment Esquire. At the Jake Penthouse Esquire. Yeah. Head services at booty industries. Headmaster at Booty International School.

Yeah. Oh, lead detective of missionary at international man of the hour industries That's what like every That's what every Like black Israelite church is called Yeah I was literally just about to tell you

Whenever I do episodes with J.T. Because he's like well acquainted with those guys He'll tell me a new group he met And the acronyms are black guy acronyms Like it's like half the episodes I've done with him Where he'll be like dude I met the guys from the international school Of Magic Kingdom forever and always

And I'm like oh how are those guys and he's like completely crazy they make bombs and stuff and I'll be like oh and he's like but the other day I was hanging out with the international school of the practical king who always lives forever and those guys are real nice and I'm like oh but it always starts with the international practical school

of and then the rest are like forbidden knowledge or like esoteric wisdom or whatever I think like for me when I talk with JT about it like it's the final evolution like Pokemon of anime black guy like they're all in their 30s and 40s

and they were anime black guys and then they got way too into like actual magic and like the storyline and the lore and then they built they did it you know what I mean there's a bunch of New York every time I was in Brooklyn I walk around

there's like a new school yeah they're like the international school of the excellent motherfucker who never quits or whatever yeah I have some co-workers who are involved in that stuff but I don't really get too into that with them

you know they do well I know the j t did this sketch where he dressed like them and he got their beard where you have the little uh you have the mustache the shan mustache what's his name shan the guy who's not Sean white no the guy who's not black but he's

Sean King Sean King and then you can have a beard and then he did a sketch where he was calling people Edomites and heretics and then the black guys were like yeah this white boy no or whatever they straight up don't like white women or Jews those are like kryptonite to those guys. They can't stand those two groups of people.

Hey. Which, you know. More for me. And with that, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening to the show. Please head over to Padejo Time or pitejo time or ptriotron.com slash Pendejo time. Toss us a little bit of cheese and sub to the motherfucking show, please. And thank you guys for all who came to the motherfucking tour. I'm trying to put together another one.

And nobody wants to talk to me. So this is a not an open invitation, but if you know, I don't want to say what city is yet. Never mind. Never mind. I'm still going to try to do it on my own, but I might try to ask for help from a couple of you guys in the messages. Thank you guys so much for listening to the show, and we'll see you next week. Bye-bye. Thank you.